Izimpawu Eziyi-10 Zokuthi Awukakulungeli Ukushada

Ngakho-ke, usufinyelele kulelo qophelo empilweni yakho lapho kulindeleke ukuthi uthathe isinyathelo 'sokuzinza'. Mhlawumbe, konke okukhona kunezici ezikushukumisela kuleso sinyathelo esilandelayo. Unomsebenzi ozinzile, omunye umuntu obalulekile okuthandayo, abazali balangazelela ukukubona uqala isahluko esilandelayo sempilo yakho. Kodwa uzizwa ungakakulungeli ukushada . Uma inkinga 'yokushada noma ukungashadi' ibonakala ingadluli, udinga ukucabanga ngokuthi uqhubeke yini naleso sinqumo noma cha.

Izimpawu Eziyi-10 zokuthi Awukulungele Ukushada

Udokotela wezempilo yengqondo uGopa Khan uthi ukushesha umshado lapho umuntu engakakulungeli kungathonywa yinhlanganisela yezici ezifana nokucindezeleka komndeni, ubudala, ukuntuleka kokuhambisana namalungu omndeni ayinhloko, ukungazethembi kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho okungathandeki okuvela ebudlelwaneni bangaphambilini.

Abantu abaningi ngokuvamile bagcina beshadile ngenxa yokucindezela komkhaya okucashile noma okwedlulele, ngisho noma bengakakulungeli ngokwengqondo ukungenela.

“Komunye umndeni, abazali babekhathazeke kakhulu ngokuthi indodakazi yabo eneminyaka engu-37 ubudala yayingakashadi futhi ukukhathazeka kwabo okukhulu kwakuwukuthi bazoshada kanjani nendodakazi yabo yesibili uma eyokuqala ingakashadi? Umphakathi ubuzothini? Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ukushada sekwephuzile kwakuyinkinga. Umndeni wawunomuzwa wokuthi isikhathi siyadlula futhi kwakungcono ukungahlali “umatasa” lapho ukhetha umlingani wokuphila,” usho kanje.

“Ngokuvamile uma umshado usenkingeni, njengomeluleki, ngibheka izindlela zobudlelwano. Isibonelo, indlela abaxhumana ngayo namalungu omndeni wabo ayinhloko. Ubudlelwano obunzima nomndeni buyisibonakaliso esibomvu njengoba bengakafundi amakhono okuxhumana nabantu adingekayo ukuze baxoxisane ngobuhlobo,” kusho uGopa, enezela ngokuthi ngokuvamile ubuhlobo obunezinkinga obungakushukumisela ukuba ubophe ifindo ngisho noma ungaqiniseki ngomshado.

Lezi zici eziyisisekelo zingase zibe khona uma uhlangabezana nalezi zimpawu ezilandelayo ezingu-10 zokuthi awukakulungeli ukushada:

1. Awuzizwa uvumelana nomlingani wakho

Kungenzeka ukuthi usumtholile umlingani “ofanele” ngokohlu lwezinto okufanele uzibheke kumlingani wakho, kodwa naphezu kwemizwa yangaphandle ‘yokufanelana okwenziwe ezulwini’, uzizwa ungavumelani nhlobo nomlingani wakho. Ngenxa yalokho, uzithola ubeka engcupheni imibono yakho ukuze ivumelane nombono womlingani wakho. Lokhu kuyisibonakaliso sokuthi ungase uthembisene kodwa awukakulungeli ukushada. Okungenani, hhayi nomlingani wakho wamanje.

2. Ugxile emsebenzini wakho

Umndeni wakho nabangani bakho bangase bacabange ukuthi usukulungele ukuhlala phansi ngoba unomsebenzi omuhle kanye nomsebenzi ozinzile, kodwa kuwe, ukugxila okuyinhloko ekukhuleni kwakho emsebenzini. Uziphonse ngokuphelele emsebenzini. Ungowokuqala ukufika ehhovisi, owokugcina ukuhamba futhi izimpelasonto azinancazelo kuwe. Ukugxila kwakho okugxile ekuhlangabezaneni naleyo ngqophamlando yomsebenzi olandelayo.

Kunzima ukuvulela owakwakho isikhala empilweni yakho lapho ushade nomsebenzi wakho, futhi lokho kusho ukuthi awukakulungeli ukushada kahle.

3. Awukadluli isikhathi sakho esidlule

Ngakho-ke, kwakukhona lowo muntu oyedwa esikhathini esidlule owawuthandana naye ngekhanda futhi wabona ikusasa ndawonye, ​​kodwa ngeshwa, izinto azihambanga kahle njengoba bekulindelekile. Uma ubuhlungu obuvela kulolo buhlungu benhliziyo busakugcina uphapheme ebusuku, kungenye yezimpawu zokuthi awukakulungeli umshado.

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4. Umshado uyinto esohlwini lwakho lwezinto okumelwe uzenze

Ungaba nomaqondana wakho wesikhathi eside kodwa uba naye kakhulu ngezizathu ezibambekayo kunothando. Uma uhlukene phakathi kokuthi 'awunasiqiniseko sokuthi ngiyafuna yini ukushada' nokuthi 'kufanele kwenziwe, kungase futhi kudlule nakho', ucabangela lesi sibopho sempilo yonke ngazo zonke izizathu ezingalungile futhi lokho kusho ukuthi awukakakulungeli ukushada.

5. Ugijime wathi yebo

Uthole umuntu owakucasula kakhulu futhi izinto zaqhubeka ngokushesha. Babuza umbuzo futhi ngenxa yothando oluningi, wathi yebo. Kodwa nobabili anazi okuningi ngomunye nomunye - imikhuba yenu ecasulayo, amaphutha, ukwesaba kanye nokwesaba kusalokhu kuyimfihlakalo. Ungase ube uthembisene umshado kodwa awukakulungeli ukushada.

6. Wenzela ukubuyela ku-ex

Muva nje uke wahlukana nomuntu wakho futhi ngandlela thile wacabanga ukuthi ukushada kuzoba yindlela engcono kakhulu yokwazisa owayeshade naye ukuthi uyamzonda. Lena yindlela ephambene kakhulu yokuziphindiselela kothile ngokuphula inhliziyo yakho, futhi usengozini yokufaka impilo emibili - uma kungenjalo emithathu - engozini. Ngaphandle kwalokho, umuntu ohlela ukushada naye uzobhekana nemiphumela yezinqumo zakho ngaphandle kwecala lakhe. Uma uhlala unamathele kulowo owayeshade naye, awusoze wathembeka emshadweni wakho.

Kungcono ukulahla umqondo wokuthi ukugijimela umshado kuzoyiphulukisa inhliziyo yakho.

7. Ukucindezela kwabazali

Njengoba uchwepheshe wethu eshilo, ingcindezi evela kubazali nomndeni ingesinye sezizathu eziphambili ezenza abantu bavume ngisho noma bengakakulungeli ukushada. Akekho othanda ukulokhu kubeleselana ngosizi olungacabangeki lwamanga omuntu ongashadile nokuthi umshado uyisixazululo sazo zonke izinkinga zakho.

Yebo, kungaba nzima, kungabekezeleleki ngisho.

Kodwa ngenxa yenjabulo yakho, vala izindlebe zakho ekuhluphekeni okuqhubekayo. Ungashadi ngoba abazali bakho noma izihlobo zakho noma omakhelwane befuna ushade noma ngoba izingosi zakho zokuxhumana zigcwele abantu abathumela izibuyekezo zomshado.

8. Awukholelwa esimisweni somshado

Unomuzwa oqinile wokuthi umshado uyisikhungo esiphelelwe yisikhathi, esinomkhawulo futhi awukholelwa emcabangweni wokuba nomfazi oyedwa , ngakho-ke awukakulungeli umshado futhi mhlawumbe ngeke ulungele. Ngaphandle kokuthi uzithole ungumlingani ofana nawe futhi ovumelana nomqondo womshado njengendlela yokufuna ubungane ngaphandle kokudela inkululeko yakho yobulili, cishe kufanele ugweme ukubopha ifindo ngokuphelele.

9. Ugcina izimfihlo kumlingani wakho

Wonke umuntu unethambo noma amabili ekhabetheni lakhe angathanda ukulifihla, ngisho nakubalingane bakhe. Kodwa uma ubuhlobo benu busekelwe ohlakanipho lwamaqiniso angashiwo kanye namanga aluhlaza, kungenye yezimpawu ezishaqisayo zokuthi awukakakulungeli ukushada.

Uma ungakhululekile ukwabelana ngemininingwane engathandeki yesikhathi esidlule noma samanje nomlingani wakho, isithembiso sokuphila konke asisho ukuthi uzophila kahle ngekusasa lakho. Zama ukufinyelela emnyombweni wenkinga bese uyixazulula noma uthathe igxathu emuva esinqumweni sakho sokushada nalo muntu.

10. Unokudla okubandayo

Umqondo womshado uyakwethusa. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzama kangakanani ukuziqinisekisa ukuthi kuzolunga, awukwazi ukwamukela ukuvuka eduze komuntu ofanayo impilo yakho yonke, ubanjwe yisithukuthezi somshado nokukhulisa izingane esikhathini esizayo. Awukakulungeli neze ukushada. Kungcono ukuhlehlisa manje kunokuba uzizwe udabukile impilo yakho yonke noma ubhekane nobunzima besehlukaniso.

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Ubaqinisekisa Kanjani Abazali Bakho Ukuthi Awukakulungeli Ukushada?

Ukuqinisekisa abazali bakho ukuthi awukakakulungeli ukushada kungaba yi-Waterloo yakho. Kusukela 'Ukuzimela esikunikeze kona kuye kwafika ekhanda lakho' kuya kokuthi 'Yini okumele uyilungele? Uyashada, uzofunda ukuyiphatha nawe', 'Bazothini abantu!', 'Izophila kanjani impilo yakho uwedwa', zonke izinhlobo zokukhuluma ziyolahlwa endleleni yakho, kanye nezinyembezi nolaka. Nakhu ongakwenza ukuze uzame ukukholisa abazali bakho ukuthi awukakakulungeli ukushada:

• Benze babone ukuthi umshado awusona isidingo sokuphila. Izikhathi ziyashintsha futhi intsha eningi namuhla ikhetha ukuba yodwa futhi yenze kahle. Caphula izibonelo, uma zikhona.
• Batshele ukuthi awuwuthandi umshado kodwa awukakawulungeli. Uma isikhathi sifika, uzobazisa.
• ngaphandle ukulimaza imizwa yabo, batshele ukuthi ekugcineni ilungelo lokuthatha isinqumo esibaluleke kangaka sokuphila kwakho kumelwe libe phezu kwakho.
• Xoxa ngezinhlelo zemisebenzi nekusasa futhi ubenze babone lapho umshado ungena khona ohlelweni lwakho lwezinto. Lokhu kungase kubasize ukubaqinisekisa kancane.
• Izwa umbono wabo ngaphandle kokucasuka, futhi uphikisane nawo ngowakho.
• Banikeze isikhathi esingokoqobo lapho uyobe ulungele ukushada.

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Kungani Kungafanele Ujahe Umshado Wakho?

Ukushesha umshado akulona neze umqondo omuhle. Uma usukulungele ukuzibophezela kwalolu hlobo, kuzolimaza ikhwalithi yobuhlobo bakho nomlingani wakho. Ngaphandle kwalokho, ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi ukwazi umlingani wakho kahle nokuqiniseka ngesinqumo sokuhlanganyela impilo ndawonye kunganciphisa ingozi yakho yesehlukaniso ngamaphesenti angu-50.

Kungcono ukulinda umuntu ofanele ukuthi afike ngesikhathi esifanele empilweni yakho kunokuba semshadweni ongajabuli noma ongaphumelelanga. Uchwepheshe wethu ukholelwa ukuthi ukwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado kubalulekile kunoma ubani ocabanga ukushada kodwa ongaqiniseki ngesinqumo sakhe.

Imicabango Final

Umshado uyisibopho esibalulekile, futhi kubalulekile ukungena kuwo ngokuziqonda ngokucacile wena, umlingani wakho, kanye nemithwalo yemfanelo ehilelekile. Uma unokungabaza noma ubona izimpawu zokungafundi, kubalulekile ukubhekana nalezo zinto ezikukhathazayo ngaphambi kokuthi ungene.

Khumbula, akukho namahloni ngokuthatha isikhathi sakho nokubeka phambili ukukhula komuntu siqu kanye nokuthuthukiswa kobudlelwano. Isisekelo esiqinile esakhelwe ekuzazini, ekukhulumisaneni, nasekuhlonipheni kuzoholela emshadweni ojabulisayo nowanelisayo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Iphaneli yethu yochwepheshe bezokwelapha ilapha ukukusiza wena nomlingani wakho nibhekane noshintsho olungokomzwelo.

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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