Izinto Ezingu-13 Ongazijwayeza Ukuheha Uthando Empilweni Yakho

Ukuthola lowo mngane ophelele akuyona inkimbinkimbi kulabo abazi ukuheha uthando ezimpilweni zabo. Uthando lukhona yonke indawo futhi kukho konke. Ukuzimisela ukufuna nokugcina uthando yikho kuphela okudingekayo ukuze uthole ukugcwaliseka kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lobudlelwano. Ukuthola uthando kuvula iminyango emisha.

Amafilimu angase enze ihaba kodwa kuyiqiniso ukuthi lapho esothandweni, umoya uyacaca futhi ube musha, ulangazelele ukuqeda imisebenzi yasendlini ulindele isivakashi esifunwayo futhi ngisho nosuku olude ehhovisi akusabonakali kuyisicefe. Kubo bonke labo abasemkhankasweni wokwenza inhliziyo yakho yeqe-a-beat, yazi ukuthi uhambo lokuthola uthando luqala ngokuzithanda wena. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukuheha uthando kumuntu othize noma ngaphakathi, izindlela eziya kumuntu ngamunye ziyefana.

Isisekelo sanoma yibuphi ubuhlobo obunempilo ngumuntu onempilo. Ngamanye amazwi, kufanele ululame, uphelele futhi uqale ukuzithanda ukuheha uthando. Kodwa lokhu akusho ukuthi kufanele wenze izinguquko ezishintsha ukuphila endleleni yakho yokuphila. Izinguquko ezincane zenza umthelela omkhulu ekulolongeni impilo yomuntu ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

Ungalubonakalisa Futhi Uhehe Uthando?

Uthando lukhona yonke indawo kodwa kungase kube nzima ukuluthola ngezinye izikhathi. I-siliva lining ukuthi kuningi ongakwenza ukukhombisa nokuheha uthando empilweni yakho. Ukuba nombono omuhle kukubeka endleleni yokuthola uthando ngokushesha.
Izinguquko ezilula ezifana neziqinisekiso zothando zansuku zonke zokuheha uthando noma ukukhanda izinwele okusha kungasiza i-vibe ekuzungezile. Le vibe ingamandla amahle akha ngaphakathi kuwe futhi ahehe uthando empilweni yakho. Maduze, uzozibona ubonisa uthando oluvela ezindaweni nakubantu obungakaze ubacabange ngaphambilini.

Ukuzithanda kanye nothando oluvela kwabanye kuyingxenye yeqoqo lothando elifanayo ofuna ukuliheha, kodwa azihlukani. Esimweni esithile, uthando kuthiwa luphelele uma luzizwa luhle ngaphakathi nangaphandle ngasikhathi sinye. Cabanga ngothando njengesiphuzo esinempilo ngenkathi simnandi. Uyawuthola umqondo.

Ziqondise ekuboniseni uthando ngokubuza imibuzo efana nokuthi "ngingazithanda kanjani mina?" futhi "ngimthola kanjani ongithandayo?". Le mibuzo ibeka ithoni yendlela eyakhayo empilweni nasebudlelwaneni jikelele.

Kungokufanayo nomthetho wokukhanga, ophakamisa ukuthi amandla amahle angabangela umphumela omuhle. Lapho ufaka kakhulu, uthola okuningi. Amandla amahle ayiqoqo lemicabango emihle ebonakaliswa ngokwemikhuba yethu kanye nezidingo zethu. Ngakho, izidingo zethu nemikhuba yazo ehambisana nayo inquma indlela esiluheha ngayo uthando.

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Ulubonakalisa Kanjani Futhi Uhehe Uthando - Izinto eziyi-13 Ongazijwayeza Kusukela Namuhla

Ingabe usukulungele ukukhombisa uthando empilweni yakho? Khumbula ukushumayela lokho okwenzayo ukuze wakhe isithombe esihle ngawe ontanga yakho. Ukubonakalisa uthando kungase kungalandeli indlela efanayo nokubonisa i-Porsche ngaphandle komgwaqo wakho noma isigidi samadola ku-akhawunti yakho. Ukuheha uthando kudinga izinguquko zendlela yokuphila ngezindlela ezicashile kodwa ezisebenzayo. Naka lezi zinto eziyi-13 ongazijwayeza ukuheha uthando:

1. Bheka kahle

Ake sisuse okusobala nokukha phezulu endleleni. Kubukeka kukuhle ukuheha uthando. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungubani, kungenzeka ukuthi ukhulunywe ngokushelela ukuze uhlobanise amathrendi athile emfashini nezici zobuntu, noma ngabe ukuxhumana kukhona noma cha.

Ukukhanga kuvame ukulandela ukubuka, ngakho-ke ukubukeka nokuzizwa kahle kungaba yisihluthulelo sokukhanga okubonakalayo . Emphakathini owahlulela incwadi ngesembozo sayo, ungazigodli ekuthengeni nasekukhetheni ingubo noma ingubo efanela wena. Mhlawumbe umuntu olandelayo ozayo uzothanda inhliziyo yakho kanye ne-cardigan yakho epinki e-cherry.

2. Zizwe kahle

Ukuzithanda ukuheha uthando kuyindlela elula yokuthola injabulo. Ukunakekela umzimba ngokuzivocavoca njalo kungakusiza ukuthi ukhululeke ngesikhumba sakho. Uma udinga ukukhanyisa i-aura etshela wonke umuntu ukuthi usukulungele ukuheha uthando, hamba amayadi ayisishiyagalolunye wonke: lala futhi uvuke ngesikhathi, zivocavoce nsuku zonke, yidla futhi uphuze okunempilo nakho konke okuphakathi.

Ochwepheshe batusa ukuvivinya umzimba njalo njengendlela yokuthola amakhemikhali akwenza uzizwe kahle njenge-endorphin. Ukususa izinto ezididayo emehlweni kungenye indlela yokuziveza kangcono. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umbhede wakho ekhaya noma itafula lakho lokusebenza, susa okuzungezile, ususe okungadingekile kuzoqinisa okusele. Kuzoba futhi ithuba lokuthi abantu bancome amakhono akho okuhlela.

3. Qala usuku ngeziqinisekiso

Indlela elula yokuqeqesha ingqondo yakho ukubonakalisa okuthile iwukukhumbuza kancane kaninginingi. Bhala iziqinisekiso zothando noma zobudlelwano nsuku zonke ukuze udonse uthando ngesimiso esilula. Okudingayo nje inothi elinamathelayo, ipeni kanye nodonga oluthandayo. Ukufunda isiqinisekiso sothando esilula njengokuthi “Ngizothola uthando noma ngabe ngiyaphi” noma “Ngikulungele ukuzithanda ngokugcwele” kuzohamba ibanga elide uma kwenziwa nsuku zonke.

Iziqinisekiso akudingeki zibhalwe noma zikhulume. Kungaba izikhumbuzo zomsindo nevidiyo ongazilalela noma uzibuke ngenkathi wenza i-yoga. Qiniseka ukuthi umlayezo mfushane, ucacile futhi uyenzeka. Vele usho i-mantra nsuku zonke ukuze wenze inhliziyo nengqondo yakho yazi ukuthi konke kuzolunga.

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4. Gcina irekhodi lakho

Isandiso sohlelo lokuqinisekisa ukugcina ijenali ebhaliwe. Ukubhala ijenali kuvula ukuxhumana okuqondile nawe uzicabela umzila olula wokuzethemba, ukuzethemba nokuzithanda kugeleze.

Akudingeki ube ngumlobi odumile njengo-Anaïs Nin owashiya inqwaba yamajenali akhe siqu. Kungaba yingcaphuno ngothando olubonile ku-Facebook, iseluleko sobudlelwano esivela kumngane oshadile, umuntu ongamazi ofisa ukwazi okwengeziwe ngaye; konke lokhu kuhlanganiswa ndawonye isikhathi eside kuzokwenza ukuqonda nokuheha uthando kucace kuwe.

5. Thola umgomo wokuphila

Isifiso sokuvelela singakhanga. Nakuba umsebenzi okhokha kakhulu ungenzi njalo 'umlingani wempilo okahle', ukuba nomgomo wokuphila oshisekayo kuthumela umlayezo omuhle. Isifiso sokuzuza impumelelo yomuntu siqu mayelana nomsebenzi noma umsebenzi wokuzilibazisa ongathi sína singabonisa ukuzethemba nokubekezela futhi okubaluleke kakhulu ukuzinikela.

Ngokuzayo uma ubhala umlando wakho kuhlelo lokusebenza lokuthandana, gqamisa imigomo yakho nezintshisekelo zakho ukuze uhehe uthando oluvela kubantu abanomqondo ofanayo. Inhloso yomuntu siqu ingaphinda icele ukuzithanda ngenxa yenkululeko ekunikezayo emhlabeni wonke.

6. Hlala nomphakathi ukuze uhehe uthando empilweni yakho

Shiya ukuzihlukanisa kumafilosofi. Hlangana nabantu njalo. Uma uzimisele ukuheha uthando, ukuba neqembu eliseduze labangane abazokuthanda ngalokho oyikho futhi bakukhuthaze ekushintsheni okuhle kuyadingeka. Ngaphandle kokuhlangana nabangane, thola izindawo ezithakazelisayo njengejimu noma indawo yezemidlalo yedolobha lakho, lapho kulula ukuhlangana nabantu ongabazi abanezintshisekelo ezifanayo.

Ukuxhumana nabantu abavela ezizindeni ezahlukene zokuphila kuyithuba lokuhlola ukuqonda kwakho kanye nokulindela kwakho ebuhlotsheni noma othandweni. Kodwa, ungadlulisi. Khumbula uMthetho we-150. Njengoba kukhulunywe ngawo encwadini ethi, The Tipping Point kaMalcolm Gladwell, lo mqondo wezenhlalo uthi amalungu angu-150 eqembu ayisayizi efanelekile yokusebenza kwalo ngendlela efanele. Ngakho-ke, nciphisa inani labantu ofisa ukuhlangana nabo.

7. Abantu abanobuthi Boo (nemicabango)

Khohlwa yimpucuko. Ngezinye izikhathi funa ukuzihlukanisa ekhoneni elithokomele lesitolo sezincwadi esidala. Akubalulekile ukuheha uthando kubantu abanobuthi, kungaba umngane noma izihlobo eziseduze. Ubudlelwano obunobuthi buyinto enzima.

Umthetho wendlela yokuheha uthando usebenzisa umthetho wokukhanga ulula: isikhathi esincane osichitha ezenzweni ezimbi, unesikhala esiningi sokuqondisa impilo yakho ngendlela enhle. Ukuthatha inkundla yezokuxhumana ukuhlanza kanye ngesikhashana kuyadingeka kucatshangelwe inani lezincwadi ze-troll laphaya.

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8. Xhuma nemvelo

Khohlwa ubuntu, wamukele imvelo. Uthando ongaluheha emvelweni lungolunye uhlobo. Hamba uyoshaywa umoya, uhlale ebhentshini lepaki futhi ubuke amaqabunga esihlahla enyakaza emoyeni. Imvelo inikeza uthando ngendlela yokuthi ayibuzi lutho, ngaphandle kokunaka kwakho. Shiya ihlathi likakhonkolo ngemuva bese ubuyela ezimpandeni zakho. Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi ukuchitha imizuzu eyi-120 endalweni kuletha impilo enhle.

9. Funa ukwelashwa

Siyazi ukuthi ukugwema inkinga yokuphila kanye nenkinga yobunikazi, ikakhulukazi ngesikhathi sobhubhane, kulula ukukusho kunokukwenza. Vumela uchwepheshe wakho akuqondise emicabangweni ephithizelayo. Ukucindezeleka, okuhambisana nokubandlulula kwethu kwengqondo, ngezinye izikhathi kungasivimba ekufinyeleleni amandla ethu aphelele okuheha uthando. Izinzuzo ezifakazelwe zokwelulekwa kanye nokwelashwa ekuxazululeni lezi zinkinga azikwazi ukugcizelelwa ngokwanele.

Amasu afana ne-Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) kanye nokuqaphela kunganciphisa ukukhathazeka futhi kwenze isikhala sokuzithanda. Ukwelashwa kungaba yindlela yesayensi yokufunda iziqinisekiso zothando ukuze uhehe uthando.

10. Thatha izingozi

Uthando lungaba ngazo zonke izinhlobo nezimo futhi luvela ezindaweni ezingalindelekile. Kungaba ngesikhathi sohlelo lokuvakashela ezweni elisha noma uhlobo olusha lomculo ku-Spotify. Lapho uthuthuka kakhulu, uzivulela ngokwengeziwe ukuheha uthando oluvela ezindaweni ezizokumangaza ngokujabulisayo.

Funda ukubhekana nokwenqatshwa ngendlela efanele kunokukwesaba. Phuma endaweni yakho yokunethezeka ucele osebenza naye ukuthi aphume, noma ngabe ucabanga ukuthi usephumile eqenjini lakho. Ungase uzithole uzimangalisa ngomphumela.

11. Nweba ama-horizons akho

Ngezinye izikhathi, ukuze uhehe uthando okudingeka ukwenze nje ukubamba ingxoxo ngokuhlakanipha. Cabanga ngokuhlaba umxhwele usuku lwakho ngolwazi mayelana namasimu ekhofi e-Ivory Coast noma i-GDP yaseNingizimu Korea yalo nyaka. Ukuheha uthando kungaba lula njengokuba neziqalo zengxoxo ezifanele.

Qhubeka uthuthukisa umbono wakho ngokufunda emithonjeni eminingi ngangokunokwenzeka. Noma ngabe yincwadi entsha, ividiyo noma iphodikasti, noma ukuvakasha ezweni elisha, nweba ama-horizons akho. Ngeke wazi noma umuntu ofuna ukuheha uthando kuye ungaphandle kwesithiyo solimi.

12. Yekani okwedlule

Amaphutha enziwa futhi abantu (kuhlanganise nawe) balimala. Kodwa konke lokho manje sekuyisandulela sekusasa lakho. Ukuze ufunde indlela yokuheha uthando ngomthetho wokukhanga udinga ukwenza isikhala engqondweni nasenhliziyweni yakho. Lokhu kungenzeka kuphela uma usufunde ukuyeka okwedlule. Shisa izincwadi zakho zothando ezindala. Penda kabusha izindonga ezingase zikukhumbuze izinkumbulo ezimbi. Shintsha imisebenzi uma kufanele. Imihlaba emisha iyavuleka lapho siyeka ukuphila esikhathini esedlule.

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13. Thola uthando oseluvele lukhona

Akukona konke okwedlule kubi nokho. Leli cebiso alikona ukuheha uthando njengoba limayelana nokuthola uthando oseluvele lukhona. Umngane wami kwadingeka abaleke ekhaya, awele amazwekazi amabili futhi achithe iminyaka eyishumi ehamba kuphela ukuze abone ukuthi abazali bakhe bebelokhu bemeseka kakhulu sonke lesi sikhathi.

Ukubonga nokholo kuyizinto ezibalulekile zokuthola lolu thando, ngakho-ke ekuzijwayezeni ukuthethelela ebudlelwaneni . Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isimiso sakho simatasa kangakanani, shayela abazali bakho, ume ngezikhathi ezithile ukuze ukhulume nomakhelwane wakho ngesimo sezulu, thumela imiyalezo kubangani bakho njalo ngempelasonto ukuze uhlole ukuthi banjani. Maduze nje, uzobona uthando lubuya kuwe ngenxa yayo yonke imizamo oyenzile yokushintsha impilo yakho ibe ngcono.

Uma usuwedwa isikhathi eside kakhulu noma uke waba nakho okungekuhle esikhathini esidlule, ukuyeka othandweni kungase kubonakale kuyindlela ephephile. Nokho, kule nqubo, ungase uziphike ukuphila kwakho konke ukuzinza nokwaneliseka ngokomzwelo. Kungani ungashintshi umbono wakho futhi uhehe uthando empilweni yakho ngombono omusha.

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