Ngokudabukisayo, intokozo esiyibona kumamuvi ikude neqiniso. Nakuba umshado ungase uzizwe njengesinyathelo esilandelayo esibaluleke kakhulu ebudlelwaneni bakho, kungenzeka ukuthi ungase ungahambi kahle njengoba izinganekwane zothando bekufundise zona. Ukungezwani, izingxabano, ukungaboni ngaso linye, ukushada nokungahlanganyeli nomlingani wakho ngezinye zezinto ezenzeka emshadweni, okungenzeka ukuthi awukaze uzibone zifika.
Ucansi emishadweni luyingxenye ebalulekile yalokho okwenza ubuhlobo buphile. Lapho ikhemikhali yobulili ilahlekile, umshado wakho ungase uwohloke. Isishoshovu samalungelo amadoda uShonee Kapoor ukhuluma nathi ngokuthi kusho ukuthini imishado engenazo ucansi, nokuthi isimo singasetshenziswa yini ukufaka isicelo sokuchithwa noma isehlukaniso.
Uyini Umshado Ongenazo Ubulili?
Okuqukethwe
Imishado engakaze iqedwe noma lapho izenzo zobulili zombhangqwana sezicishe zaphela isikhathi eside imishado engenabulili. Izizathu zingaba ziningi. Kungaba ukuntula isithakazelo, ukulahlekelwa i-libido, ukukhangwa okunciphayo noma enye into ngokuphelele. Kodwa uma umshado wakho uphelelwa amandla - okusho ukuthi awuzange ulale nocansi izikhathi ezingaphezu kwesisodwa noma kabili onyakeni odlule - ungase ube nesizathu sokukhathazeka.
Umshado uhambisana nokuqonda kanye nokulindela ukuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uyoqedwa. Umsebenzi wocansi kanye ukuhambisana ngokocansi zibalulekile emshadweni omuhle. Ngokungafani nokuba nekhaya, ukukhulisa izingane noma ukuya ohambweni, ubulili buwukuphela kwento umshado oyichazayo njengeyokuba indoda nomkayo babelane ngayo kuphela. Nokho, okungenani endabeni yokushada komuntu oyedwa.
Ngakho ingabe umshado ongenazo ubulili uyisizathu sesehlukaniso? Yebo, kungaba njalo. Uma ukuya ocansini kungekho nhlobo emshadweni, ngokomthetho kuyisizathu sesehlukaniso (nakuba kuyodingeka kuqinisekiswe enkantolo yomthetho futhi kungaba yinqubo ende).
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Izizathu Zemishado Engena Ubulili
Manje njengoba sesitholile ukuthi uyini umshado ongenazo ubulili, ake sixoxe ngezizathu zemishado engenabulili:
- Ukungabi namandla kwabesilisa: Lesi ngesinye sezizathu eziqashelwa ukuchithwa
- Ukungabi namandla kwabesifazane: Nakuba lokhu kubonakala kungenakwenzeka, kuphinde kuqashelwe emacaleni ambalwa yiNkantolo Ephakeme futhi ngaleyo ndlela kwamukelwe njengesizathu sokuchithwa komshado.
- Ukuzithiba: Ukuzithiba unomphela ukuze ujezise umlingani. Ukuzithiba ngenxa yezizathu ezingokomoya, ukugula isikhathi eside, ukungakhangi phakathi kwabalingani nakho kungaba nomthelela
- Isinqumo esifanayo: Umbhangqwana ungase unqume ngokufanayo ukuphila ukuphila kukaplatonic nganoma yisiphi isizathu somuntu siqu
Ingabe Umshado Ongenazo Ubulili Uyizizathu Zesehlukaniso?
Umshado ongenazo ubulili uyisizathu sesehlukaniso lapho ukuntuleka kobulili kufana nonya. Ibhentshi legatsha likaJustice Vijaya Kapse-Tahilramani kanye noJustice PN Deshmukh lithe "Ucansi ludlala indima ebalulekile empilweni yomshado futhi angeke luhlukaniswe nezinye izici ezinikeza umshado umuzwa wokuphumelela nokwaneliseka."
Futhi lokho kuyiqiniso. Eyakho uhlu lokuhlola umshado ojabulisayo luhlanganisa ucansi oluhle endaweni ethile phezulu. Icaphuna isinqumo seNkantolo Ephakeme, inkantolo ithe umuntu ophile kahle, lapho enqatshelwa ukuhlalisana nowakwakhe, uzobhekana nosizi nokukhungatheka futhi kufana nokumhlukumeza ngokomqondo.
“Ubufakazi (bukaShailesh) bokuthi uNaina wagwema ubudlelwano bomzimba naye banele ukuthi wenziwe isihluku,” kusho ibhentshi.
Uma sikhuluma ngokomthetho, i-Hindu Marriage Act kanye noMthetho Womshado WamaSulumane ibona ukungabi namandla kwabesilisa njengezizathu zokuhoxiswa (okufana nesehlukaniso nakuba isimo esingokomthetho singesomlingani womshado). Ngisho nokuntula amandla kwabesifazane kubhekwa njengezizathu zokuchithwa.
Uma ukugodla ukuya ocansini ngenxa yanoma yisiphi isizathu kuyindaba yesikhashana, akusona isizathu sesehlukaniso. Nokho, uma ukugodla ubulili kuyisimo esihlala njalo emshadweni futhi kusetshenziswa njengesikhali sokujezisa noma sokuhlukumeza umngane womshado, khona-ke kunezizathu zesehlukaniso.
Inkantolo izofuna ubufakazi bokuthi umlingani uyaphika ukwelulekwa ngobudlelwano okufanayo bese uyisa phambili ukusuka lapho.
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Ingabe Kufanele Ngifake Isehlukaniso Ngenxa Yomshado Ongenazo Ubulili?
Akekho omunye ongaphendula lo mbuzo kumuntu oyedwa. Kuya ngomuntu kuye komunye, umbhangqwana kuye kwabashadile nokuthi umshado uthuthuke kanjani. Ziningi izinto ezithinta umshado, futhi ngenxa yalokho nesinqumo sokudivosa. Isibonelo, ukujula kothando nokuxhumana umbhangqwana ababelana ngakho, izinga lokukhungatheka ngokocansi okuzwiwa ngumuntu, ukuthi ucansi lubaluleke kangakanani kumuntu, uzokwazi ukufakazela enkantolo ukuthi umshado empeleni awunazo ucansi, ingabe umbhangqwana unazo izingane, nokunye nokunye...
Futhi siyini isizathu semishado engenabulili? Uma ukuzithiba noma ukungabi khona kocansi engxenyeni yomlingani kungenxa yokugula okutholwe ngemva komshado, ngeke kube isizathu sesehlukaniso futhi kungase kudingeke ukusinda emshadweni ongenabulili. Izinhlobo ezithile zomdlavuza zingadala ukungabi namandla, ngakho-ke, lokho ngeke kube isizathu sokuchithwa/sesehlukaniso nakho.
Iyiphi indlela eyiyo eya phambili inganqunywa kuphela umuntu ngokubonisana nomuntu onekhono obhekana nezindaba ezinjalo. Okwamanje, singazulazula kangcono kulesi simo esicindezelayo. Uma udinga ukukhuluma nomelaphi ukuze uqonde inkinga kangcono noma uthole ukwelulekwa ngobudlelwano, wethu iphaneli lochwepheshe kungakusiza.
(Njengoba kutshelwe u-Aarti Pathak)
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Asikho isibalo esicacile kodwa e-US, Imishado engu-15-20% ayinabulili futhi isilinganiso sesehlukaniso esijwayelekile singama-50%.
Zingahlala isikhathi eside uma umuntu ezithanda. Uma kukhona isivumelwano sokubonana nabanye abantu noma ukuzithiba ngokuphelele, umshado wakho ungahlala njalo. Kuya ngokuthi indlela yenu yokwenza njengombhangqwana izoba yini ngisho noma kungumshado ongenawo ucansi.
Yebo ingakhona. Uma umuntu ezimisele ukwenza ubudlelwano busebenze, bungasinda noma yini. Isehlukaniso ngenxa yomshado ongenacala akudingekile futhi umuntu angaqhubeka nokuba semshadweni nomlingani wakhe.
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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
Hewu! Leyo kwakuyindatshana ecwaningwe kahle, @aarti-patak-2! Ukuqonda okuthakazelisayo!