Ingabe Ukuqomisana Ku-inthanethi Kulula Kwabesifazane?

“Sawubona sithandwa, indawo yakho noma eyami?,” “Sawubona sithandwa! Yeka isithombe sephrofayela esihle kakhulu!,” “Umlando wakho unamandla kakhulu. Ngingakucela ukuthi niphume niyothandana kusihlwa?” – Ingabe le miyalezo izwakala ijwayelekile? Nokho, abesifazane bahlushwa okungenani imiyalezo enjalo eyikhulu ngokushesha nje lapho bebhalisa kunoma yiluphi uhlelo lokusebenza lokuthandana lwesimanje. Ucwaningo lwamuva nje luthole nokuthi ngokuvamile abesifazane bagcina benqaba u-80% wabantu abafanelana nabo kuzinhlelo zokusebenza zokuthandana. Ngakho-ke, ingabe ukuthandana online kwabesifazane kulula ngempela noma kumane kuyindlela ehlukile yobunzima? Isexwayiso se-Spoiler: akulula.

Sibheke kabanzi isihloko futhi sathola amaqiniso athakazelisayo. Masiqhubeke sifunde ukuze singagcini nje ngokuthola ukuthi kulula kangakanani (noma kunzima) ukuthi abesifazane banakho kanjani ezinhlelweni zokusebenza zokuqomisana kodwa futhi sithole izindlela ezimbalwa abesifazane abangazulazula ku-inthanethi yokuqomisana ngendlela ephumelelayo. 

Ukuqomisana Kuyi-Internet Kwabesifazane—Ingabe Kulula Ngempela? 

Sonke sihlangane nama-meme amadoda eswayipha ngamandla ngokusebenzisa izinhlelo zokusebenza zokuthandana ngethemba lokuzama ukuthola umuntu ofanelana naye. Ngokwesibonelo, cabanga ngomuntu engisebenza naye, u-Aron. Usebenzisa izinhlelo zokusebenza eziningi zokuthandana. Kodwa wake wangitshela isifuba sakhe, ethi, “Uma umuntu efanelana naye efika, kunethuba elincane lokuthi kuzosebenza.” Eqinisweni, akakwazanga ukuthola umlingani okwamanje. Ngakho-ke, ugcina ekhipha izinhlelo zokusebenza, kodwa wazifaka kabusha ngesonto elilandelayo. Kodwa ingabe isimo siyafana endabeni yokuthandana online kwabesifazane? Kungani abanye abantu bekholelwa ukuthi ukuthandana kulula kwabesifazane online?

Yize umentshisi ungangeni ngempela kwabesilisa, ukukhala ngokuthi “uhlelo lukokotelwe” akuzwakali. Ingxabano yonke "yokuqomisana nge-inthanethi kulula kakhulu kwabesifazane" ivela eqinisweni lokuthi abesifazane bavame ukuthola ukufana okuningi, kodwa ivolumu akusho ukuthi kulula njalo. 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinto Abafana Abazenzayo Kuzinhlelo Zokusebenza Zokuqomisana Ezikhipha Abesifazane Ngokushesha

Icala lenani uma liqhathaniswa nekhwalithi 

Ngaphambi kokuba singene emininingwaneni yalokhu kuthandana online kulula kakhulu kwabesifazane, ake sibheke ukuthi umsebenzisi weReddit uthini ngakho, “Cha, kodwa kunzima ngezindlela ezahlukene.” Impela, ukufana nemiyalezo kuza ngokushesha kwabesifazane, kodwa lokho akuyona into enhle ngempela. Okokuqala, mhlawumbe kunjalo ngoba abasebenzisi be-Tinder abangaphezu kuka-70% (okungenani e-US) bangabesilisa.

Ngokusho kocwaningo lwakamuva , abesifazane abangu-57% babike ukuthi bathintwa ngemiyalezo noma ngama-akhawunti ezinkundla zokuxhumana ezizimele ngemuva kokusho ukuthi abanasithakazelo. Cishe abangu-57% bathole imiyalezo noma izithombe eziveza ucansi abangazicelanga. Ngakho-ke, uma ubona abangani bakho besifazane bengayinaki imiyalezo eyikhulu engakafundwa kumaphrofayili abo okuthandana, mhlawumbe kungenxa yokuthi okuqukethwe yile miyalezo kubenza besabe ukufuna ukuvula uhlelo lokusebenza kwasekuqaleni.

Kodwa kungani kukhona ukwahlukana okukhulu kangaka phakathi kwendlela amadoda nabesifazane abasebenzisa ngayo izinhlelo zokusebenza zokuthandana? Kungani ukuthandana online kunzima kangaka kwabesilisa, njengoba bonke bevumelana ngazwi linye? Mhlawumbe konke kungancika ku-biology. Izifundo ziphakamisa ukuthi imibono yemvelo iyasebenza nasemhlabeni wokuthandana online. Amadoda akhathalela kakhulu ukukhanga ngokomzimba, futhi abesifazane bacabangela ezinye izici ezimbalwa, njengezimfanelo zezenhlalo nezomnotho. Lokho kuchaza ukuthi kungani sibona amadoda eswayipha kwesokudla sengathi awazi ukuthi kukhona 'ukuswayipha kwesobunxele', nabesifazane bezama ukuthola inaliti esibayeni sotshani.

“Kulula ukuthola abafana ngoba iningi labesilisa lizoshintsha ngqo kunoma ubani,” kusho umsebenzisi we-Reddit , ekhuluma ngokuthi kunjani ngempela ukuthandana kwabesifazane ku-inthanethi. Banezela, “Ngemva kokuthola abafana, akulula neze . Bamane bashintsha ngqo esithombeni, abazange bafunde i-bio, bafuna nje ukuba ngokomzimba futhi baqambe amanga ngakho ukuze bathole abafana. Uma uzama ngempela ukuthandana, kuba nzima ngokushesha.”

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukujika Nokuphuthelwa: Imizwa Odlula Kuyo Uma Ushiywe Ku-Read

Izingozi zokuqomisana ku-inthanethi 

Ake ucabange ngakho, umdlalo wokuqomisana we-inthanethi awulula kunoma ubani. Kodwa akuphephile kabili uma kuziwa ekuqoleni ku-inthanethi kwabesifazane. Kungani kunjalo? Ake sibheke izibonelo ezimbalwa:

• Umdanso ongajwayelekile wokuphusha nokudonsa ovame ukufaka abantu ababili abalinde inombolo efanelekile yamahora ngaphambi kokuba baphendule umlayezo ukuze bangabonakali bedangele.
• Kunokukhathazeka kwangempela mayelana nokuphepha. Ngokusho kuka-a Ucwaningo, abesifazane abasebasha basengozini ephindwe kabili yokubhekana nezinsongo zokulimala ngokomzimba noma ukuhlukunyezwa ngamazwi kunozakwabo besilisa. Akumangazi ukuthi abantu besifazane bangaphansi kwenani elikhulu lamacala okuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi ku-inthanethi, futhi sonke siyazi ukuthi kuyasabeka kangakanani. ukungena kuma-DM womuntu kungaba njalo. 
• Ubuningi bemidlalo bungabahlula abantu besifazane futhi kube nzima ukuthi bazinze ngomuntu oyedwa
• Ulwazi oluningi lomuntu siqu, okuhlanganisa nezithombe, lungasetshenziswa kabi abanye

Umhlahlandlela Ohlakaniphile Wokuqomisana Ku-inthanethi Kwabesifazane

Ngakho-ke, umuntu ubhekana kanjani nezinselele zokuthandana kwabesifazane ku-inthanethi? “Izimo zethu ezimbi kakhulu zihlukile ngempela,” kusho umsebenzisi we-Reddit , enezela, “Amadoda awangeni ekuqomisaneni egcina ukuphepha kwawo engqondweni. Akhathazeki ngokuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi. Lokhu akusho ukuthi akwenzeki emadodeni, kodwa ngizwa amadoda amaningi ekhuluma ngokwenqatshwa (okuyinto wonke umuntu abhekana nayo) sengathi leyo yinto embi kakhulu engenzeka ngosuku lokuqomisana.”

Ngaphandle kwalokho, cishe isigamu sabantu base-US sithi ukuthandana kuye kwaba nzima eminyakeni eyishumi edlule. Nakuba abesifazane bethola abantu abaningi abathandanayo kuzinhlelo zokusebenza zokuthandana, lapho okuwukuphela kwento labo bantu abathandanayo abaletha ngayo ukukhathazeka kokuhlukunyezwa ngamazwi noma ukusongelwa, ungabona ukuthi kungani bengavumelani nombono wokuthi ukuthandana online kulula kwabesifazane. Manje njengoba sesiyazi ukuthi ukuthandana online kwabesifazane akuyona indlela elula, ake sibheke umhlahlandlela wokuthandana ohlakaniphile wokuthi abesifazane bangabhekana kanjani nezinselele zokuthandana online. Ngakho-ke, nansi indlela yokuthandana njengowesifazane uma usebenzisa izinhlelo zokusebenza zokuthandana:

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Ezingu-27 Zokuthi Ukuthola Ungenakuvinjelwa Futhi Ukukhanga

1. Thembeka kulokho okufunayo

Enye yezindlela ezingcono kakhulu zokuqomisana eziku-inthanethi zabesifazane ukukhuluma ngokungagwegwesi ngezidingo zakho kanye nezinto ozifunayo. Njengabesifazane, sivame ukufundiswa ukuthi izicupho zokoma zingaheha izilwane ezinwabuzelayo. Inani elikhulu lethu lisanamahloni ngokuvuma ukuthi singase sifune i-fling noma isitendi sobusuku obubodwa esikhundleni sobudlelwano besikhathi eside. Kungenzeka simane singekho esimweni esifanele sengqondo noma isimo esiphelele sobuhlobo obungathi sina. Ngakho-ke, into yokuqala okufanele uyenze uma ufuna ukuqomisana nomuntu ukwenza izinhloso zakho zicace. Hlanganyela futhi ungajabhi lapho usho lokho okufunayo.

Ukudlala kanzima ukuthola kuyindlela yokuziphatha yokuthandana yabesifazane ozoyithola iphindaphindwa kunoma yimuphi umhlahlandlela wokuthandana osemthethweni. Uma kwenziwa kahle nangendlela elinganisiwe, kusebenza kahle kakhulu ekuqomisaneni online. Gcina imiyalezo yakho imfushane ekuqaleni. Amadoda ayakuthanda ukujaha. Ngakho-ke, lawula injabulo yakho bese umvumela ukuthi athumele imiyalezo kuqala. Nazi ezinye izeluleko ezimbalwa ngalokhu:

• Gwema ukuqalisa imilayezo nsuku zonke
• Ukuthumela imiyalezo kabili akusona isono, kodwa vumela kudlule isikhathi ngaphambi kokuba umazise ukuthi umkhumbula kangakanani.
• Gwema ukuthumela izigaba. Kafushane "Sawubona, unjani umsebenzi?" kuhle ukumshayela ucingo noma uthumele umbhalo uma ekuthanda ngempela

Lesi sikhonzi se-Reddit sinombono othakazelisayo ngemithetho yokuthandana kwabesifazane. Bathi, “…ungase uthumele imiyalezo eminingi ngoba uchaza ngokweqile ngoba ufuna ukuqiniseka ukuthi ukhuluma kahle ngalokho okushoyo nokuthi kuvela ngendlela efanele? Uma imibhalo emide iqhutshwa yilezo zinkathazo, mhlawumbe ungachazela umlingani wakho bese umcela ukuthi abuze noma yimiphi imibuzo, noma uma engakwazisa uma ecabanga okuthile ngokusekelwe kulokho okushilo okungase kube okungalungile. Ngaleyo ndlela awuzizwa ucindezelekile ukuthumela imiyalezo ngokweqile isikhathi ngasinye.”

2. Ungadaluli ulwazi lomuntu siqu ngokushesha

Manje, noma yimuphi umhlahlandlela wokuthandana angakutshela lokhu. Futhi ngesizathu esihle. Uyakhumbula i-Tinder Swindler ye-Netflix ? I-inthanethi iyindawo enonya. Amaqola, abakhohlisi, kanye nezigebengu ezinzima bakwenze indawo yabo yokubamba nokuheha izisulu ezingenacala. Futhi uma ungasikholwa, bheka amanye amacala akamuva okubulala lapho abenzi bobubi bethola izisulu zabo kuzinhlelo zokusebenza zokuthandana.

Ngakho-ke, kufanele nakanjani uqaphe ezigabeni zokuqala zokuqomisana. Qaphela ukuthi ungavezi noma yikuphi kokulandelayo maduze:

• Ikheli lakho
• Imininingwane yakho yasebhange
• Imininingwane yakho yepasi
• Imininingwane yendawo yakho yokusebenza
• Noma iyiphi enye idatha ebucayi, njengamaphasiwedi e-imeyili, njll.

3. Ungaqambi amanga

Omunye wemithetho emikhulu yokuqomisana kwabesifazane ukugwema ukuqamba amanga. Kuyinto eyodwa ukuvikela imininingwane yakho yomuntu siqu, kodwa kufanele futhi uqiniseke ukuthi awugcini usudala umuntu mbumbulu, ngolwazi olungalungile noma izithombe ezihlungiwe. Nakhu okungafanele ukunake uma ufuna ukuwazi kahle imikhuba yokuthandana yabesifazane:

• Ungenzi ihaba ngephrofayela yakho yomsebenzi. Kulungile uma ufisa ukungadaluli okuningi, kodwa ungaqambi amanga
• Gwema ukuthumela izithombe ezindala noma izithombe ezinezendlalelo zokuhlunga nokuhlela. Lokhu kufana ne-catfishing, okungeyona indlela enhle yokujola ku-inthanethi
• Ungaqambi amanga ngezinhloso zakho. Uma ufuna ukuphola isikhathi eside, yisho. Uma ufisa ukuba ne-fling yesikhashana, sho lokho futhi

Ngaphandle kwamanga angathi sína, abantu bavame ukuphendukela ekuqambeni amanga ngezinto ezingenangqondo kuzinhlelo zokusebenza zokuthandana. Abanye bakuthola kulula ngisho nokuqamba amanga ngaphandle kwesizathu ngemiyalezo . Kukhona negama lamanye amanga amhlophe anjalo. Ucwaningo luwabize ngokuthi 'amanga e-butler'. Angaba yinto elula njengokuqamba amanga ngokuthi kungani bengakwazi ukuhlangana ngosuku oluthile. Nakuba amanga anjalo e-butler engalimazi kakhulu, anciphisa ukwethembeka komqambimanga uma edalulwa kamuva.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukuqamba Amanga Ngokungalaleli Nemiphumela Yakho Ebudlelwaneni

4. Ungaphazanyiswa ukungafani

Njengoba nje ukuphola ku-inthanethi kukhula kuvame, kunjalo nokungafani. I-Ghosting kulula futhi kanjalo nokuvimbela. Kodwa noma ngabe ungakaze ufaniswe nabafana abashisayo kusayithi/uhlelo lokusebenza, ungazithatheli ngokwakho noma uvumele ukuthi kuthinte impilo yakho. Futhi ungagxili ekucindezelekeni. Omunye wemithetho ebaluleke kakhulu yokuqomisana kwabesifazane ukuwuthatha nengcosana kasawoti, bese uswayiphela kwesokudla ku-akhawunti entsha abayithandayo.

Omunye wabangani bami, u-Andrea, owayecindezelekile ngenxa yokwenqatshwa ngokuphindaphindiwe, uthe, “Sengiqedile ngokuthandana online. Angikwazi ukubekezelela ubuhlungu ngokuphindaphindiwe.” Ngamcela ukuba angabi nolaka kancane kuye. Waya osukwini lwakhe eyedwa ngosuku olulandelayo futhi wayejabule kakhulu ngesibuyekezo sakhe se-Instagram. “Kusebenze,” esho, “Ngizizwa ngingcono kakhulu.” Ukuvakashela ekhefini lakhe ayithandayo yedwa kwamkhuthaza. Ngakho-ke, uyabona, into engcono kakhulu ongayenza ezimweni ezinjalo ukubeka phambili ukuzinakekela. Lahla labo abakulahlayo. Gxila kuwe.

5. Unganamatheli kuwebhusayithi/uhlelo lokusebenza olulodwa

Kungaba yi-Tinder, i-Hinge, noma i-Bumble, izinhlelo zokusebenza zokuthandana zingaba yinto eyisicefe ngemva kwesikhathi esithile. Ngakho-ke, ukuze uthuthukise ulwazi lwakho lokuthandana ku-inthanethi, singaphakamisa ukuthi ushintshe phakathi kwezinhlelo zokusebenza zokuthandana. Lokhu kuletha ukuhlukahluka kolwazi lwakho lokuthandana oluphelele futhi kukusiza ukuthi unqume ukuthi iyiphi ofaneleka kakhulu kuyo. Umzala wami, uRhea, unomkhuba wokushintsha kusuka kuhlelo lokusebenza uye kolunye. Kubonakala sengathi, indlela efanayo yokuxhumana (ezinye izinhlelo zokusebenza zibuza imibuzo ephula iqhwa , kanti ezinye ziqala ingxoxo engavamile) iyamcasula, futhi uthanda ukufaka ukuhlukahluka ekuxhumaneni kwakhe.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukuthandana Nomdlali - Landela Le Mithetho Engu-11 Ukuze Ungalimali

6. Thembela emathunjini akho

Umuzwa wesisu uyisivikelo sakho sokuqala ezingozini. Ngakho-ke, uma uphequlula iphrofayili yokuthandana, lalela lokho okushiwo yimvelo yakho. Ingabe indlela yakhe yokukhuluma ikutshela ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle? Ingabe imiyalezo yakhe ethi “Sawubona othandekayo” ikwenza uthuke? Ungalindi uze uhlangane naye ukuze umenqabe. Umsebenzisi we-Reddit uthi, “Kubantu abathi themba isibindi sakho, baqinisile. Uma isibindi sakho sikutshela ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle, cishe kuphambene. Okokugcina kodwa okungabalulekile, ungazami. Kukuwe ukuthi ube nomuntu ofuna ukuba nguye hhayi ngoba unesizungu.”

7. Vimbela ngaphandle kwecala

Isinyathelo esilandelayo sokubhekana nomuzwa wokuthi kukhona okungalungile ukuvimba umfana. Yebo, ungesabi ukuziphindiselela noma ububi. Abesifazane abaningi banandisa ukuziphatha okungcolile noma okungamukeleki kumasayithi okuphola ezinkundleni zokuxhumana ngoba besaba ukuthi amadoda angase asabele kanjani ngemva kokwenqatshwa. Ungangeni ogibeni. Wenqabe ngokuqondile. Vimba, susa, susa ukufanisa, ngaphambi kokuthi kuphuze kakhulu. Ungakukhuthazi into ongakhululekile ngayo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Izimpawu Eziyi-17 Zokuthi Uyakhanga (Okungaphezu Kokucabanga Kwakho)

8. Buza imibuzo

Indlela yokuthandana njengowesifazane kuzinhlelo zokusebenza zokuthandana ngaphandle kokubeka engcupheni ukuphepha kwakho kanye nenhlalakahle yakho ngokomzwelo kuyinto evamile. Indlela engcono kakhulu yokubhekana nakho ukwaziswa. Yebo, kubalulekile ukwenza indoda ikuxoshe , okungenani ezigabeni zokuqala zobudlelwano. Kodwa futhi udinga ukwazi ngaye ukuze ukwazi ukwenza isinqumo. Ngakho-ke, indlela engcono kakhulu yokwenza lokhu ukubuza imibuzo nokuhlaziya izimpendulo zakhe. Ingabe izimpendulo zakhe zizwakala zingajwayelekile noma ziyiqiniso? Mbuze ngemfundo yakhe, umndeni wakhe, kanye nobuntwana bakhe. Buza imibuzo efanayo ngezindlela ezahlukene ukuthola ukuthi ubeqamba amanga yini.

Infographic On Best Online Ukuqomisana Amasayithi Kwabesifazane

Njengoba manje usukwazi okumelwe ukwenze nokungakwenzi kokuqomisana ku-inthanethi njengowesifazane, ake sikunikeze okuphansi kumasayithi/izinhlelo zokusebenza ezingcono kakhulu zokuqomisana eziku-inthanethi zabesifazane. Nakhu ukukhetha kwethu:

imibuzo ejwayelekile ukubuzwa

Imicabango Final

Ukuqomisana ku-inthanethi kulapha ukuhlala. Futhi akukho okuningi esingakwenza ngakho. Nokho, uma kuziwa ekuzivikeleni, mhlawumbe abesifazane kusadingeka bakhe udonga oluphakeme kunabesilisa. Futhi sithemba ukuthi amathiphu oku-inthanethi wokuqomisana kwabesifazane kulo mhlahlandlela wokuqomisana uzobasiza ukuthi bafinyelele lokho. Futhi siyethemba ukuthi awukakazibuzi ukuthi uqome kanjani njengomuntu wesifazane. Kuhle ukwethembeka kodwa akunjalo ukuba sengozini, ikakhulukazi lapho i-inthanethi isiphenduke isizinda sabakhwabanisi namaqili. Ngakho-ke, lokhu kuphumela kubo bonke labo besifazane kuzinhlelo zokusebenza zokuphola: ukuphola ngokuhlakanipha kodwa ngokuphepha.

Izindawo Ezingcono Kakhulu Ezingu-15 Zokuhlangana Nabesilisa (Izinhlelo Zokusebenza Ezingaphandle Kokuqomisana)

Ungahlanganaphi Nabesifazane? 12 Izindawo Ezinhle Zokuhlangana Nabesifazane - Ngaphandle Kwezinhlelo Zokusebenza Zokuqomisana

Ukuqomisana Izinhlelo zokusebenza: Kuhle Ukuthola Abantu Bangempela Bamanga?

Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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