Ingabe Unamahloni Noma Akanaso Isithakazelo? 26 Izindlela Zokutshela Umehluko

Ingabe uzizwa sengathi unokuthile okudlayo nomfana, kodwa udidekile ngokuziphatha kwakhe? Ungase uzithole uzibuza, “Ingabe unamahloni noma akanasithakazelo?” Ukwehlukanisa phakathi kokwethuka nokunganaki kungakhungathekisa. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uthule futhi uzigodlile, akabhekani namehlo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ngokuvamile akakukhulumisi noma kubonakala sengathi uyahamba lapho ekubona. Kungokwemvelo ukubuza, ingabe unovalo noma akanasithakazelo? Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi kunezinkomba ezicashile ezingakusiza uveze umehluko. 

Sihlanganise lo mhlahlandlela onemininingwane wokuthi ungasho kanjani uma insizwa inovalo noma ingafuni ukukusiza ukuthi wenze lokho kanye. Sisekelwa imininingwane evela kochwepheshe bezobudlelwano, ake sithole ukuthi singayihlukanisa kanjani imizwa efihliwe nokungabi nentshisekelo. 

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Okokuqala, uma uzithola ulahlekelwa ingqondo uzama ukuthola ukuthi, “Ingabe unamahloni noma akanasithakazelo?”, yazi ukuthi akubangelwa ukuntula kwakho ukuqonda. Amahloni novalo ngokuvamile kungase kubonakale njengokungathandi. Isibonelo, umuntu ogwema ukubheka emehlweni noma ogwema ingxoxo angase athuke kakhulu ukuba ahlanganyele. Kodwa futhi kungase kube uphawu oluhloniphekile lokuthi akakuthandi. Ongoti kwezobudlelwano baveza ukuthi umongo uyikho konke. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uWendy Patrick siyaphawula, “Abantu abanamahloni bahlanganyela nabanye njengawo wonke umuntu. Ngakho-ke, insizwa enamahloni ingase ibonise isithakazelo sayo ngezindlela ezicashile kunomuntu ocashile. Kodwa-ke, kuzoba khona izimpawu njalo ukuthi umuntu onamahloni uyakuthanda kodwa uzama ukungakubonisi. 

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, indoda engenasithakazelo ivame ukunikeza izimpawu ezingezinhle njengokukuziba wena ngokuphelele. UPatrick uyachaza, “Uma enethuba elanele lokukhuluma nawe futhi engalokothi enze okuthile, cishe akakuthandi ngomqondo wothando.” Kuzwakala kuyinkimbinkimbi? Masikwenzele kube lula ngokuhlukanisa ukuziphatha okunamahloni kodwa okunentshisekelo futhi sihlole ukuthi lezi zihluke kanjani ekungabini nentshisekelo. Ekugcineni, uzoba nempendulo yombuzo okugcina ungalali ebusuku: Ingabe unovalo noma akanantshisekelo?

Izindlela ezingu-13 umfana enza ngazo uma ekuthanda kodwa enamahloni

Uma indoda ikuthanda kodwa inamahloni , imizwa yayo ingase ingabonakali ngaso sonke isikhathi. Esikhundleni sezenzo ezinesibindi noma ukuthandana ngqo, ingase ibonise izimpawu ezicashile kakhulu zokuthi indoda enamahloni iyakuthanda kodwa izama ukungazibonisi. Lezi zenzo zivame ukukhombisa ukwesaba kwayo kanye nesifiso sokuxhumana ngaphandle kokuphuma ngokuphelele endaweni yayo yokunethezeka. Kusukela ekwebeni ukubuka okusheshayo kuya ekuphoxekeni noma ekuzikhukhumezeni lapho ukhona, lezi zimpawu ngezinye izikhathi zingaba nzima ukuzichaza. Kodwa-ke, uma wazi ukuthi yini okufanele uyibheke, uzoqala ukubona izindlela ezithule kodwa ezinenjongo abonisa ngazo isithakazelo sayo. Ake sihlole izindlela ezingu-13 indoda enamahloni engase yenze ngazo uma inemizwa ngawe, noma ngabe ihluleka ukuyiveza obala.

1. Uyakugwema ukubheka ngqo emehlweni kodwa anyonyobe athi nhla

Uma insizwa ikuthanda kodwa inamahloni kakhulu ukukuthatha, ingase ibe nzima ukubona amehlo akho ngokuqondile noma igcine iso isikhathi eside. Kunalokho,

• Uzontshontsha ukubukeka okusheshayo uma ecabanga ukuthi awubhekile
• Ungase umbambe egqolozele isikhashana abese ebheka eceleni, kube sengathi unamahloni
• Leli qhinga lokudlala elipholile liwumnyakazo wakudala onamahloni

Ngeke akubambe ukugqolozela ngesibindi, kodwa iqiniso lokuthi ulokhu ejeqeza kuwuphawu oluqinile lokuthi unentshisekelo. Yebo, ngisho namadoda angenangqondo azama ukwenza umzamo owengeziwe ngokubheka amehlo lapho othile ebalulekile kuwo. Ngakho-ke uma ubona lawo mehlo antshontshiwe, ikakhulukazi uma eshesha ebheka eceleni, ehleka noma ehwaqabala, bhala lokho njengophawu olunamahloni, hhayi ngempela ukwenqaba.

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2. Ukunaka ngokugcwele futhi ukhumbula imininingwane

Ngokudabukisayo, insizwa enamahloni ingabonisa ukuthi ikuthanda kangakanani ngokulalelisisa ngendlela engavamile lapho ukhuluma. Uzoncika, avume ngekhanda, futhi alalele ngempela, ngaphezu kokulalela abanye abantu. Ngokwamagama angokwengqondo, lokhu kubizwa ngokuthi “ukunaka okugxilile.” UPatrick uyachaza, “Abantu abanamahloni ngokuvamile babonisa isithakazelo sabo ngokukunaka ngokugcwele.Kuwuphawu olucacile lokuthi othile uyayazisa inkampani yakho futhi unesithakazelo esiqotho kulokho okushoyo.”

Ngakho-ke, lapho umfana ethule eduze kwakho kodwa elalela okushoyo abese ekhumbula izinto ezincane ozisho ngesonto eledlule, njengefilimu oyikhonzile noma iresiphi oyithandayo, kuyindlela yakhe yokubonisa ukuthi uyakukhathalela. Isibonelo, mhlawumbe umtshele ukuthi uyayithanda i-pizza, futhi ngesikhathi esilandelayo lapho ekubona, uvele aku-odole eyodwa. Isenzo esincane esidlulisela okuningi. Ukunaka kwakhe okungahlukanisiwe nokugxila kwakhe kuwubufakazi bothando lwakhe. 

3. Uyashalazela, uyadlokova, noma wenza izinto ezingafaneleki eduze kwakho

Amandla ezinzwa kuwuphawu olukhulu lokuchotshozwa okunamahloni. Uma eseduze nawe,

• Angase abe namahloni ngokoqobo noma aqale ukudlidliza ephethe okuthile ezandleni zakhe—ipeni, ucingo, mhlawumbe ngisho nesikhafu sehembe lakhe.
• Ukunyakaza kwakhe kungase kuxake, futhi ungase ubone ukuthi ukhubeka phezu kwamagama noma uwisa okuthile ngenxa yokuthi unokhiye kakhulu.
• Angase aboshwe ngokuphelele ngolimi, akushiye uzibuza ukuthi kusho ukuthini uma umfana enamahloni eduze kwakho kodwa hhayi abanye 

Hhayi-ke, qaphela uma ubuso bakhe bubomvu kancane noma uma eqala ukuhleka usulu ngenxa yamahlaya akhe. UPatrick uyachaza, “Insizwa enamahloni iyoba novalo eduze kwakho, ibe namahloni lapho ukhuluma nayo, futhi izame ukuhlala eduze nawe.” Uma engingiza noma emamatheka kabi, akukhona ukungazithandi. Kuyindlela yakhe yokufihla ukuthi ujabuliswe kangakanani nguwe. Okuseceleni: Kulungile, ngisho uphawu oluhle, uma emosha umusho noma echitha okuthile eduze kwakho, usuke ekwazi ngempela ngawe, futhi uvalo lwakhe lubangelwa imizwa yakhe ecashile ngawe.

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4. Uyamamatheka kakhulu eduze kwakho

Noma engakwazi ukukhuluma, ukumamatheka kwakhe kuzomkhipha. Abafana abanamahloni bavame ukuhleka noma nini lapho bekubona, ngezinye izikhathi ngamahloni babheke eceleni ngemva kwalokho. Kuwuphawu olumnene lokuthi bajabule ngempela lapho ukhona. UPatrick uyaphawula, “Uma ehlala emamatheka ngokushesha nje lapho ekubona, kucabangele phakathi kwezimpawu eziqinisekisiwe ukuthi umuntu onamahloni uyakuthanda.” 

Uma ukhathele ukuzibuza, “Ingabe unamahloni noma akanasithakazelo?”, qaphela indlela asabela ngayo lapho ukhona. Uma ungena ekamelweni futhi umbone, bheka ukuphakamisa okucashile emehlweni akhe noma ukuhleka okusheshayo ngaphambi kokuba akufihle. Angase ngisho amamatheke lapho umbingelela. Lokhu kumomotheka okufudumele, kwangempela kuwukuphana. Kube sengathi unamahloni ukusondela, adedele ubuso bakhe bukhulume. Lokho kumomotheka okunamahloni kuyinkomba ekulula ukukugeja, kodwa uma usukubona izikhathi ezimbalwa, kunzima ukukuziba.

5. Uyazama ukuhlala eduze kwakho ngamaqembu

Noma ethule, uzozama ngokomzimba ukuba seduze. Mhlawumbe uvela emicimbini efanayo noma ezindaweni zokufunda njengawe, njalo ezulazula eduze. Okubalulekile ukuthi, akafuni ukuba kude nomhlaba wakho. Ungase uqaphele ukuthi ukhetha isihlalo esiseduze nesakho, noma ajoyine iphrojekthi yeqembu elifanayo, noma athole isizathu sokungena ku-hangout oyikhonzile. 

Kungazwakala sengathi kwenzeka ngengozi, kodwa ngasese, udoba amathuba okuba seduze kwakho. Ngezinye izikhathi uyaze avikele. Isibonelo, uma omunye umuntu ekugcona ngokudlala, ungase umthole engakhululekile noma ekulungele ukuzivikela. Akazami ukuqala impi, umane nje ukukwazisa ukuthi uyakukhathalela. Kulezi zinkomba ezicashile kukhona impendulo yokuthi ungabona kanjani ukuthi indoda iyesaba noma ayinasithakazelo.

6. Ungenzela umusa omncane

Abafana abanamahloni bangase bangakugezi ngezimpawu zothando ezinhle, kodwa bazokwenza izinto ezincane, eziwusizo. Lokhu kungaba imisebenzi noma isisa elethwa ngendlela ephansi kakhulu: 

• Ukukulethela ikhofi ekuseni
• Ukukusiza ngesabelo
• Ukucosha into oyikhohliwe

Izenzo zicashile, kodwa inhloso icacile. Isibonelo, mhlawumbe usho ukuthi ulahlekelwe ipeni lakho, futhi ngakusasa uphethe elinye uma ulidinga. Noma angase akuvikele ngaphansi kwesambulela sakhe lapho lina. Lezi zimpawu ezincane zivame ukuthi “ngiyakuthanda” ngaphezu kwesimemezelo esinesibindi. Ubonisa ukukhathalela ngendlela yakhe ethule, ephumelelayo, ethi “Ngilapha ngenxa yakho”, ngaphandle kokuthi amemeze.

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7. Ubonakala ekude noma enganakiwe ngezinye izikhathi

Amadoda anamahloni angabonakala emile noma ekude, kodwa ngokuvamile ngenxa yesizathu esingokomzwelo. Angase abonakale engenasithakazelo noma epholile, futhi usala uzibuza ukuthi kungani. Kungani abafana abanamahloni benza bengenasithakazelo? Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uDkt. Aman Bhonsle sichaza ukuthi lokhu kuziphatha ngokuvamile kubangelwa imizwa enamandla, futhi siyanezela, “Akukhona ukuthi bengenasithakazelo, kumane nje kuwukuthi imizwa yabo ingase ibe namandla kangangokuthi abaqiniseki ukuthi bangayisingatha kanjani.” 

Eqinisweni, abantu abanamahloni abanothando ngezinye izikhathi bakha igebe elingokomzwelo ngoba bakhathazeka ngokwenqatshwa. Ngakho-ke uma ehlehla ngokuzumayo—ake sithi, ukhuluma ngolunye usuku bese ethula ngolunye usuku—ungasheshi uphethe ngokuthi imizwa yakhe isiphelile. Nakhu okungenzeka ukuthi kwenzekani:

• Kungase kube ukukhathazeka kwakhe okuvuthayo
• Angase esabe ukwenza okuthile okuyihlazo, ngakho uyahlehla ngengqondo
• Kodwa-ke, lapho enentshisekelo kuwe, uzokwenza umzamo wokuphinda ahlanganyele. Kungaba ngokumamatheka noma ukuxoxa ngokuthuthumela
• Kulapho-ke kucaca khona ukuthi ubengeyena umuntu ongenandaba noma engenzi lutho. Wavele wasindwa

8. Uba namahloni uma ukhuluma naye

Lapho ubamba ukunaka kwakhe ngokuqondile, qaphela ubuso bakhe. Umuntu onamahloni uvame ukuphenduka abe bomvu uma ukhuluma naye, kube sengathi akakholwa ukuthi ukhuluma naye. Noma ubuza nje umbuzo ojwayelekile, angahle, 

• Yiba nobuso obukhanyayo
• Ahleke ngamahloni
• Zama ukuziphazamisa, mhlawumbe ngokudlala ngezinwele zakhe noma ngokubuka izicathulo zakhe
• Abafundi bakhe bangase banwebe
• Ukumamatheka kwakhe kungaba novalo

Zonke lezi yizimpawu zolimi lomzimba wesilisa ezivamile zokukhanga ezivela eqinisweni lokuthi ukunaka kwakho kumenza akhathazeke. Isazi solimi lomzimba uVanessa Van Edwards sichaza lezi njengezimpawu ezincane zenjabulo, lapho ubuso buveza okungaphezu kwamagama. Kulokhu, izimo zakhe zibonisa ukuthi uyakukhathalela kakhulu.

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9. Ukhuluma nabangani bakho ngawe

Njengoba ukufika kuwe ngokuqondile kunzima kuye, uvame ukuhamba nomuntu wesithathu: abangani bakho.

• Angase abuze abangani bakho imibuzo evamile efana nokuthi, “Hey, wenzani kule mpelasonto?”
• Noma bheka izingxoxo zeqembu lapho ukhona
• Ngale ndlela, ufunda okwengeziwe ngawe ngaphandle kokuthi akubuze yena

Kuyindlela ekhohlisayo kodwa eqotho yokuveza intshisekelo. Isibonelo, angase azi igama lesilwane sakho esifuywayo kungazelelwe noma ibhendi yakho oyintandokazi, nakuba ungakaze ukhulume ngayo kuye. Maningi amathuba okuthi wakuthola komunye umuntu lokho. Lokhu kuziphatha kukhombisa ukuthi noma engakwazi ukukutshela abanye bayazi ukuthi uyakuthanda. Kuyisu elinamahloni ukuthola ulwazi nokubonisa intshisekelo ngesikhathi esisodwa.

10. Uyashintsha indlela abukeka ngayo ukuze akuhlabe umxhwele

Ezibuza, "Ingabe unamahloni noma akanasithakazelo?", Impendulo ingase ifihlwe ekubukeni kwakhe. Yebo, izinguquko ezicashile zokuzilungisa zingaba uphawu lokuthi umfana onamahloni unesithakazelo kuwe. Uma ngokuzumayo eqala ukugqoka kahle kakhudlwana, egunda izinwele ezintsha, noma elungisa ukubukeka kwakhe kaningi, cishe ukwenzela ukukuhlaba umxhwele ngaphandle kokusho ukuthi kungani. 

Isibonelo, uma ushayisana naye futhi uqaphela ukuthi une-cologne entsha noma izinwele ezenziwe isitayela, lokho kungaba okwakho. Lokhu kushintshwa kwesitayela sakhe kuyizindlela ezithule zokuthi, "Ngifuna ungiqaphele." Angase angakuvumi, kodwa uthemba ukuthi uzowubona umzamo. Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi uma ekwenza ngezinsuku azi ukuthi uzokubona.

11. Uyamamatheka noma nini uma umamatheka

Naka ukubuyisana. Umuntu onamahloni ngokuvamile uzobonisa injabulo yakho. Uma ummoyizela noma umzulise kancane, cishe uzophendula. Kwesinye isikhathi isikhashana nje ngaphambi kokubheka eceleni. Lena indlela yakhe enamahloni yokuzibandakanya. Angase amoyizele buthule abese evala ngokuhleka noma abuke phansi. Lokhu kumomotheka okucashile kuyinkomba eyinhloko yothando. Kunjengokungathi uthi “Yay, ngiyajabula ngokuthi sawubona” ngekhodi ethule.

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12. Uveza imizwa yakhe kancane kancane

Uma umthola engxoxweni yomuntu nomuntu, qaphela ukuthi uveza noma yiziphi izinto eziyimfihlo. Amadoda anamahloni avame ukuba nesikhathi esinzima sokukhuluma, kodwa uma ekutshela okuthile okubalulekile, njengokukhathazeka noma iphupho, kuyinto enkulu. Isibonelo, angase avume ukuthi uvame ukuzibamba noma akhulume ngendlela ukukhuluma nawe okuthusa ngayo. Indoda esengozini yowesifazane onjalo, indoda enamahloni, nalokho, kuyisibonakaliso esikhulu sokuthi izizwa iphephile lapho inawe futhi ifuna ukuxhumana okujulile nawe.

13. Uncamela isikhathi esisodwa nawe

Abafana abanamahloni bavame ukuqhakaza ezindaweni eziseduze. Angase abonakale enamahloni esixukwini, kodwa endaweni ethule, uzovuleka kancane. Uma uqaphela ukuthi uyajabula ukuba nengxoxo yomuntu siqu, kuwuphawu lokuthi uzizwa ekhululeke kakhudlwana lapho. Angase azinikele ekuphuzeni ikhofi noma nihambe ndawonye “eyedwa” ezenza sengathi uhamba nawe ukuya emnyango wakho ukuze aqiniseke ukuthi ufika ekhaya uphephile. Uma insizwa ithule eduze kwakho endaweni yomphakathi kodwa ivuleleka lapho ninobabili nje, kuwuphawu oluhle.

Izindlela ezingu-13 umfana enza ngazo uma engenandaba nawe

Lapho umfana engenasithakazelo kuwe, ukuziphatha kwakhe ngokuvamile kuzobonakala ngokuntula umzamo, ukunaka, noma ukuzibandakanya ngokomzwelo. Ngokungafani nabafana abanamahloni, abangase babonise izimpawu zokwethuka noma uthando olucashile, insizwa engenasithakazelo ngokuvamile iyokwenza ukude noma ukuzihlukanisa. Angase agweme izingxoxo, akhansele izinhlelo njalo, noma axhumane nawe kuphela uma kunesidingo. Lokhu kuziphatha kuyizinkomba ezicacile zokuthi akabeki kuqala wena noma uxhumano lwakho. Ake siwahlole la maphethini ngokuqhubekayo ngokubheka izindlela ezingu-13 umfana angenza ngazo lapho engenasithakazelo kuwe, ukuze ukwazi ukubona izimpawu futhi uqonde ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuqhubekela phambili.

1. Akuvamile noma akalokothi aqale ukuxhumana

Uma engenasithakazelo, ngeke nje afinyelele kuwe eyedwa. Ungabona ukuthi,

• Lokhu umfana akakaze abhale kuqala, kodwa uyaphendula lapho uqala ingxoxo
• Ngeke athumele ngokungahleliwe ama-memes ahlekisayo noma angene
• Izingcingo zefoni noma ama-DM azoba yindlala kakhulu
• Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukuxhumana kuyaphela

Uma ungezwa kuye izinsuku eziningi futhi kuhlale wenza ubizo, lokho kuyifulegi elikhulu elibomvu. Umfana othandana nawe uzobamba ucingo.

2. Uhlale enezaba

Angase avume ukuhlala edlula, kodwa aphinde ahlele kabusha noma ama-flakes. Isibonelo, uthi, “Masithathe ikhofi”, kodwa abese ekhansela ngomzuzu wokugcina futhi angaphakamisi esinye isikhathi. Le phethini yokwenza izinhlelo bese uzifaka kuyo iwumnyakazo wakudala wokungabi nantshisekelo. 

UDkt. Bhonsle uthi, “Uma ehlela izinsuku ngomzuzu wokugcina, eqhubeka ehlela kabusha, elokhu eshaqekile, akakuthandi lokho. Ekupholeni okunempilo, insizwa enendaba nayo izoba nesikhathi. “Ukuhlola imvula” kaningi ngokuvamile kusho ukuthi akakubheki phambili futhi uzama ukugwema ukuzibophezela.

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3. Uqoma abanye noma ukhuluma ngabanye abantu besifazane

Qaphela uma eveza amagama abanye besifazane engxoxweni phambi kwakho. Uma ekhuluma ngokunganaki ukuthi umngane ushisa kanjani, noma uhamba kanjani futhi engekho nawe, qaphela futhi uyeke ukubuza, "Kungani abantu abanamahloni benza bengenasithakazelo?"

• Lokhu akuwona amahloni umfana othumela izimpawu ezixubile ngomzamo wokufihla imizwa yakhe
• Lona umfana okutshela ukuthi akanantshisekelo
• Kunokuba aqondise isithakazelo kuwe, ukhomba omunye umuntu

Konke lokhu kuphakamisa ngokuqinile ukuthi uphumile esithombeni sakhe sothando.

4. Umzimba wakhe uvaliwe

Izimpawu zomuntu onamahloni othanda wena kodwa ozama ukungakubonisi esikhulume ngazo zizobe zingekho ngokuphelele uma umfana engenantshisekelo kuwe. Esikhundleni salokho, uzohlangana namaphethini olimi lomzimba asobala. Bheka ukuthi uzibeka kanjani lapho ukhuluma. Ezinye zezimpawu zolimi lomzimba ezitshelayo zokuntula kwakhe intshisekelo yilezi:

• Umzimba wakhe ufulathele
• Izingalo zakhe ziphambana
• Amehlo akhe avame ukubheka lapho kuphuma khona
• Angase ame afulathele noma aqhele
• Uma ukhuluma, akanqeni noma amamatheke ngokweqiniso. Kunalokho, angase aqalaze ekamelweni

Lezi zenzo ziyamemeza "Angitshaliwe." Uma unomuzwa wokuthi uyakufulathela ngokoqobo nangokomfanekiso, ukungabi nasithakazelo kwakhe kungenzeka.

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5. Akakuphathi ngendlela ehlukile kunabanye

Uma umfana engekho kuwe, uzokuphatha ngendlela efanayo enza ngayo abanye abangani noma abantu abajwayele. Ukuba khona kwakho noma ukungabikho kwakho ngeke kube nomthelela emoyeni wakhe. Iphimbo lakhe, amahlaya, nokukhuluma komzimba okuzungezile kuhlala kungashintshile. UDkt Bhonsle uthi, “Lapho insizwa ithanda intombazane, kunomehluko omncane endleleni axhumana ngayo nayo. Uma lokho kuntuleka, kuwukuhlakanipha kwakho ukuqhubeka.” 

Lokhu kubamba noma ngabe ekudlala ngothando noma ezama ukuthokomala nawe futhi wenza okufanayo kuwo wonke amanye amantombazane aseduze naye, futhi. Uma umbamba enza lokhu, kuwuphawu lokuthi ayikho inhlansi kuwe ikakhulukazi. Uma uye waxakeka ngokuziphatha kwakhe, kunesivivinyo esisodwa esilula sokukukhipha osizini lwakho: qaphela ukuthi ukhuluma kanjani nabanye abantu besifazane. Uma kungekho nhlobo impatho ekhethekile kuwe, cishe unomusa nje.

6. Ubonakala engenandaba noma enganyakaziswa nguwe

Ukunganaki kuyinkomba enkulu. Umfana ongenantshisekelo kuwe uzothatha uhlangothi noma ngabe ukhona noma cha. Ngeke akhanyise, abe nomona, noma abonakale ekhululekile ukukubona. Uma ukuba khona kwakho noma ukungabi khona kwakho kubonakala kungenzi mehluko emoyeni wakhe, lokho kuyasho. Isibonelo, uma ezolile lapho uthi usale kahle futhi ebonisa ukuthi awukho umuzwa uma ubuya, cishe akatshaliwe.

Ngokufanayo, uma nizihlalele futhi edlala ngocingo lwakhe noma engagxili kuwena, usuke eqhelelana ngokomzwelo. Uma yonke into mayelana nokusebenzisana kwakho izizwa “ingathathi hlangothi,” ngokuvamile kusho ukuthi usakugcina isikhathi eside engqondweni yakhe.

7. Avele athi “hi”, asuke ahambe

Lokhu kuziphatha okuqondile kungadida kakhulu. Uphakamisa isandla noma uthi sawubona, bese enqekuzisa ikhanda noma akhulume ngokushesha athi “Sawubona,” kodwa abese ejika ngokushesha noma aqhubeke akwenzayo. Akasenzi lutho. Abantu abaningi bayabuza, “Kusho ukuthini uma umfana ethi sawubona kodwa engakhulumi nawe?” Ezimweni eziningi, kusho ukuthi unesizotha, kodwa akazimisele ngokuzibandakanya. 

• Uzokubingelela ngokubonisa inhlonipho, kodwa ahlehle amahlombe futhi aqhubeke
• Ngeke abuze imibuzo ezolandela noma enze inkulumo encane
• Uma ubenentshisekelo, ubengahle ahlale isikhathi eside noma azame ukuqalisa ingxoxo
• Le “hi-and-go” engazelelwe iyindlela ecashile yokubonisa ukungabi nasithakazelo
• Kucabange njengokubeka imingcele ngenhlonipho. Akadeleli, ugcina nje izinto zibe zincane

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8. Uyahamba ngempela uma ekubona

Ngezinye izikhathi ukungabi nasithakazelo kwakhe kungabonakala ngezindlela ezingokoqobo, futhi ungase uqaphele ukuthi uyakugwema ngokomzimba. Ngokwesibonelo,

• Ukuwela umgwaqo lapho ngikubona
• Ukudada ngemva komuntu
• Ukushintsha indlela ehlukile uma usondela
• Ubheke eceleni ukugwema ukuthintana kwamehlo

Manje, izimpawu zomuntu othanda ukukuthanda azinakucaciswa. Lo mkhuba uvame ukuba ukugwema ngamabomu. Uma ubulokhu ubuza ukuthi, “Kusho ukuthini uma umuntu ehamba lapho ekubona?”, impendulo eqondile ithi: akafuni ukuxhumana. Uzokwenza noma yini ukuze agweme ingxoxo. Lokhu kuziphatha kumayelana nokuzivikela ohlangothini lwakhe. Esikhundleni sokuba sesimweni esibi, angathanda ukubaleka. Akusona isibonakaliso esihle kuwe. Cishe kusho ukuthi akanasithakazelo sokubhekana nawe kunoma yisiphi isimo.

9. Ugcina izingxoxo zisezingeni eliphezulu

Uphawu olubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi konke akhuluma ngakho kukha phezulu.

• Ugwema ukwabelana nganoma yini yomuntu siqu noma ukuzibandakanya ezingxoxweni ezijulile nawe
• Uma engakubuzi ngempilo yakho, akalokothi akhumbule imininingwane owabelane ngayo, futhi egcina i-chitchat incane, lokho kuwumkhondo wokuthi usekhishiwe.
• Angase aphendule imibuzo yakho ngezimpendulo zegama elilodwa noma ashintshe ngokushesha izihloko lapho izinto “zijula” kakhulu.
• Ngokuyisisekelo ukuphatha ukuxoxa nawe njengokukhuluma nomuntu ongamazi

Akwenzeki lokho uma umuntu ekuthanda. Uma kunjalo, wayeyofuna amathuba okukhuluma nawe, akhulume nawe ngempela. 

10. Uvele aphumele obala ngezinhlelo noma akwenze umjahe

Uma engakuthandi, ngeke azikhandle ukuze achithe isikhathi nawe.

• Ungase ummeme, kodwa uhlale ethi umatasa futhi akalokothi asikisele olunye usuku
• Uyathula emsakazweni ngemuva kokuchithwa kwezinhlelo
• Indoda engenasithakazelo isebenzisa ukuba matasa noma izaba njengesihlangu
• Angase amukele i-hangout evamile ekuqaleni, kodwa abe “matasatasa” ngendlela engakholakali uma sekuyisikhathi sokuqinisekisa.

Uma uzithola wenza wonke umsebenzi wokuhlela, futhi yena engalokothi athathe isinyathelo, kungenye yezimpawu ezibomvu eziqine kakhulu esigabeni sokukhuluma noma ezigabeni zokuqala zokuxhumana okuthuthukayo.

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11. Akabandakanyi nawe ngqo mathupha

Lokhu kuhlobene nokuthi "uthi sawubona, bese uyahamba," kodwa okubanzi.

• Uma nisekamelweni elilodwa noma nihamba ndawonye, ​​uhlala ethule ngendlela eyinqaba noma ephazamisekile
• Angase akhulume nawo wonke umuntu oseduze nawe, kodwa angasho lutho kuwe
• Angase azigweme ngokuphelele izimo zomuntu oyedwa
• Uma uzama ukumdonsela eceleni ukuze bakhulume, uthola indlela yokuphuma noma asuke ahambe

Lolu hlobo lokuziphatha luhlukile emahloni. Uyenqaba ngokugcwele ukusebenzelana nawe ngokuqondile.

12. Unamathela ezingxoxweni zamaqembu noma ezinkundleni zokuxhumana

Ngokuhambisana nemigqa efanayo, bheka indlela yakhe yokuxhumana ayikhethayo.

• Umfana ongenantshisekelo angase ahlanganyele kuphela ngemilayezo yeqembu noma ngokuthunyelwe ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, hhayi ngokuyimfihlo
• Angase athande isithombe sakho se-Instagram noma abeke amazwana engxoxweni yeqembu, kodwa uzoqaphela ukuthi akalokothi akuhlabelele ngokuqondile
• Noma uma ekuthumelela umlayezo ku-inthanethi, kufushane futhi akujiki kube ingxoxo yangempela

Ngokuyisisekelo, uyigcina ingenabuntu. Uma engazimisele ngokuthatha ucingo noma ukuba nengxoxo eyedwa, ngokuvamile kungenxa yokuthi akanasithakazelo sangempela.

13. Uqoma amanye amantombazane obala

Mhlawumbe uphawu olusobala kakhulu lokuthi umfana akanandaba nawe ukuthi udlala ngothando noma ubonakala ekhangwa abanye besifazane ngenkathi ulapho.

• Uyawahleka amahlaya abo
• Uyabancoma
• Izama ukunaka
• Okubi nakakhulu, angase akuphathe “njengomngane” nje

Uma umbona enikeza ukubukeka okumnandi noma imibhalo komunye umuntu, lokho kufanele kukutshele konke. Uma umfana ekuthanda, ngeke azinake ezinye izinketho. Kunalokho, uzokwenza kucace ukuthi uwena wedwa. Ngakho-ke uma ngokucacile enentshisekelo komunye umuntu kuyilapho engathathi hlangothi ngokuphelele kuwe, yisikhathi sokuqhubekela phambili.

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Uma usutholile ukuthi ukuziphatha kwakhe kuncike emahloni noma ekungabini nasithakazelo, umbuzo uba: kufanele uphendule kanjani? Kulula ukubanjwa ucabange ngokweqile ngakho konke ukubukeka noma ukuthula, kodwa iqiniso liqonde kakhudlwana. Uma izimpawu zakhe zibonisa ukuthi unamahloni kodwa uyazama, isikhuthazo esincane esivela ohlangothini lwakho singenza izinto zibe lula kuye. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma engabonisi mzamo nhlobo, kufanele usuke.

Uma enamahloni kodwa enentshisekelo

Uma uzwa ukuthi izinzwa zakhe yizona kuphela ezimvimbayo, indima yakho akukhona ukujaha noma ukudlala kanzima ukuze uthole ukunakwa kwakhe, kodwa ukumnika indawo encane ukuze azizwe ekhululekile. Amadoda anamahloni avame ukudinga ukuqinisekiswa ngobumnene ukuthi isithakazelo sawo asiyinto engamukeleki. Ukumamatheka ngomusa, ukuqala ingxoxo encane, noma isikhathi sokuphumula ndawonye kunganciphisa ingcindezi futhi kumenze azizwe ephephile ngokwanele ukuba avuleke.

• Mamatheka futhi: Ukumamatheka okufudumele kubonisa ukuthi uvulelekile ukuba khona kwakhe futhi kumnika ukuzethemba kokuhlala bethembisene umshado. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uDkt. Wendy Patrick sithi, “Abantu abanamahloni bakhulumisana ngendlela ehlukile, kodwa uphawu olulula lokwamukela lungabakhuthaza ukuba bathathe igxathu eliya phambili.”
• Qala izingxoxo ezilula: Letha izihloko ezilula njenge-meme ehlekisayo, imuvi yakamuva, noma okuthile okwenzeka eduze kwakho. Amadoda anamahloni ngokuvamile akuthola kunzima ukuqala izingxoxo, kodwa lapho uhlephula, kuyawasiza ukuba avuleke kancane ngaphandle kokucindezelwa
• Dala amathuba awodwa: Phakamisa izilungiselelo ezikhululekile lapho angazizwa ebukele khona. Ukhiye ophansi usuku lwekhofi lokho kuzwakala njengabantu ababili abahlezi ndawonye, ​​baya ekilasini, noma benza umsebenzi omncane ndawonye. UDkt. Bhonsle uyachaza, “Abantu abanamahloni bazizwa belondeke kakhulu lapho bengababoni, futhi ukusondelana kufika ngokushesha, isikhashana somuntu oyedwa.”
• Yazisa imizamo emincane: Uma ekhumbula imininingwane oyishilo noma enikeza umusa omncane, bonisa ukwazisa okuqotho. Kugcizelela ukuthi imizamo yakhe, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi mincane kangakanani, iyaqashelwa futhi iyaziswa. Kubantu abanamahloni, lokho kuqinisekiswa kuhamba ibanga elide ekwakheni ukuzethemba
• Yehlisa imizwa yakhe: Ungamcindezeli ukuthi akhulume ngesibindi. Amazwi ambalwa anomusa noma ukuhleka kalula amahlaya akhe kungamqinisekisa ukuthi ukhululekile ngobudlabha bakhe. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lezo ziqinisekiso ezincane zimsiza ukuba athembe ukuxhumana

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Uma engenantshisekelo

Uma ukuziphatha kwakhe kungabonakali zimpawu zomzamo noma ukunakekelwa kwangempela, isinyathelo esingcono kakhulu ukuvikela ukuthula kwakho. Kuyayenga ukuqhubeka nokwenza izaba zokuqhelelana naye, kodwa ukunganaki kuyimpendulo yakho ecacile. Awudingi ukusunduza noma ukuqhubeka unethemba. Kukudonsela ekukhungathekeni kuphela. Ngezinye izikhathi isinyathelo esinempilo kakhulu ukwamukela, udedele imizwa yakho , bese uhamba.

• Qaphela amaphethini akhe: Naka ukungaguquguquki. Uma engakaze aqalise, akhansele ngokuphindaphindiwe, noma agcine izinto zisezingeni eliphezulu, leyo yimpendulo yakho. UDkt. Bhonsle uthi, “Ukuxhumana okulinganiselwe kungenye yezimpawu ezicacile zokuncipha kwesithakazelo.”
• Yeka ukutshala imali ngokweqile: Uma kunguwe njalo ozama ukufinyelela noma ohlelayo, hlehla. Uthando kufanele luzizwele, kungabi sengathi udonsa umuntu. Lapho upha kakhulu ngaphandle kwembuyiselo, uzozizwa ukhathele kakhulu
• Yazisa umzamo ofanayo: Gxila ekuxhumekeni lapho omunye umuntu ekhombisa ukuthi ufuna ukuba lapho. A ubuhlobo obunempilo yakhelwe ekuvumelaneni, futhi ufanelwe umuntu otshala imali kuwe ngenkuthalo
• Hlukanisa inhlonipho nokukhangwa: Ungaphambanisi ukuthi “hi,” ukumomotheka, noma inkulumo encane enobungane nesithakazelo sangempela. Inhlonipho iyingxenye yokuziphatha komphakathi. Ayinayo njalo incazelo yothando
• Zibeke eqhulwini: Kungase kulume ukubona ukuthi othile akakuthandi, kodwa ukuhamba kukhulula isikhala esingokomzwelo sesibopho esinempilo. Zikhumbuze ukuthi ukucaca, noma kubuhlungu, kungcono kunokukhipha ukungaqiniseki

Imicabango Final

Njengoba ubona, "Ingabe unamahloni noma akanandaba?", akuyona inkimbinkimbi eyinkimbinkimbi obucabanga ukuthi iyiyo. Ukuziphatha komfana kulezi zimo ezimbili ezihlukene kuchaza ngokwedlulele. Izwi elivevezelayo lendoda enamahloni, ukumamatheka okusheshayo, noma imfihlo kubukeka sengathi unendaba kodwa wethukile. Indoda engenasithakazelo, ngakolunye uhlangothi, izokunikeza ihlombe elibandayo ngokungaguquki. Ngakho-ke, manje, sekuyisikhathi sokuzibuza umbuzo onzima: yisiphi isigaba ukuziphatha kwakhe kufanelana? Uma ethumela izimpawu ezinamahloni, mhlawumbe udinga isikhuthazo esincane esivela kuwe. Uma ebonisa izimpawu zokungabi nasithakazelo, kungase kube isikhathi sokwamukela iqiniso.

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