Ucansi Lokulungisa - Luyini, Kungani Lubalulekile, Futhi Ungaba nalo Kanjani?

Uma ungakaze uzwe igama elithi "ucansi lwesondlo" ngaphambili, khona-ke, usufike endaweni efanele namuhla. Noma leli gama lingazwakali lijabulisa futhi lihlazisa, futhi lingathandeki ukukhuluma iqiniso, lesi kungaba yisahluko esibalulekile ekulondolozeni ubudlelwano benu. Kodwa luyini lolu hlobo locansi futhi lungasiza kanjani ubuhlobo bakho? Ake sithole.

Ngokusho kukaJared Diamond, umbhali wencwadi ethi Why is Sex Fun?, ubulili bethu, yize sibubona njengento evamile, bungabonakala buyinqaba uma buqhathaniswa nokuphila kobulili kwezinye izinhlobo eziningi ezikhona. Kunezindlela eziningi abantu abalala ngazo ngendlela ehlukile kwezinye izinhlobo. Thina bantu senza ucansi ngasese, nganoma yiluphi usuku lwenyanga noma lonyaka, kufaka phakathi lapho owesifazane ekhulelwe, ngale kweminyaka yakhe yokuzala, noma phakathi kwemijikelezo yakhe yokuzala.

Thina njengabantu, sisebenzisa ucansi ukuthuthukisa ukusondelana nokusondelana, futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, siya ocansini ngenjongo yokuzilibazisa nokuzijabulisa. Izilwane eziningi laphaya, azikwenzi lokho ngempela. Singabantu bobulili obudala, obungaguquki, obuhlala njalo futhi obungenamahloni, futhi izimpilo zethu zobulili ezingavamile zazibaluleke kakhulu ekukhuphukeni kwesimo sethu njengabantu, njengoba kwakunjalo nobuchopho bethu obukhulu.

Umshado Nocansi

Nakuba ucansi luyisenzo sangasese esijulile, izindinganiso zalo zigxile kakhulu ezindabeni ezahlukene. Akukho sigaba esifanele somsebenzi wocansi; kuyahlukahluka kubantu kuya ezindaweni, kuya emikhubeni yamasiko neyomphakathi kuya emazingeni okuqina komzimba, njll., kodwa sihlala sihlaselwa ngomdlalo wezinombolo - bangaki abalingani, kangaki ngosuku/ngesonto/ngenyanga, kungakanani okuvamile eminyakeni embalwa yokuqala, kungakanani kamuva futhi sitshelwa ukuthi yini evamile. Sikholelwa ngisho nokuthi inkanuko yobulili yabesilisa ingaphezu kweyowesifazane.

Kuyiqiniso elaziwayo nelibhalwe phansi ukuthi isifiso siyaphela njengoba umshado uvuthwa futhi umuntu angase azithole, ngolunye usuku oluhle, emshadweni ongenabo ucansi . Kodwa sithengisiwe ngomqondo 'wesifiso esingapheli'. UBenedetto Croce (isazi sefilosofi sase-Italy) uthe umshado 'uyithuna lothando olunonya', kodwa sisola abalingani bethu ngalokhu kwehla kwemvelo, noma okubi nakakhulu, thina ngokwethu. Siphila ohambweni lokuphikisana, ukudideka kanye nokunganeliseki. Ucwaningo lwezocansi esilwenze nge-SurveyMonkey luveze idatha ethakazelisayo.

Ubuwazi ukuthi u-53% wemibhangqwana ucabanga ukuthi abalingani babo abajabule ngempilo yabo yocansi, noma okubi nakakhulu, abazi ukuthi bazizwa kanjani? Kodwa lapho sibuza ukuthi bake bavakashela umeluleki lapho benezinkinga empilweni yabo yocansi, u-93% waphendula ngendlela engalungile?

Ubuwazi ukuthi u-43% ucabanga ukuthi umshado ungajabula ngaphandle kocansi nothando nje (umlingani)? Nokho lapho sibuza ukuthi kubaluleke kangakanani kubo ukuthi abalingani babo bathembeke, ama-86% amakhulu athi, 'kubalulekile'.

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Luyini Ucansi Lwesondlo?

Ngemva kokuhlanganisa idatha engenhla, saqonda ukuthi ucansi lwesondlo luqala kanjani futhi sifuna ukuletha ulwazi olufanayo kuwe nasebudlelwaneni bakho. Kunezinganekwane ezanele mayelana nocansi laphaya, ukuntuleka kocansi, namahemuhemu antantayo angenza ucansi lube yinto embi. Ngisho naphakathi kokunethezeka komshado, umuntu angakhathala kalula ubulili nobuhlobo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

Ikakhulukazi uma iminyaka enzima kakhulu yomshado iqala ukungena, amandla omuntu ocansini angathatha indawo yokugcina - hhayi nje ngenxa yezizathu zomzimba, kodwa futhi nezingokomzwelo. Njengoba izingane zihlala zikhona, ukucindezeleka okwandayo emsebenzini, iminyaka engu-7 yokushada kwakho isondela, ucansi oluhle lungabonakala njengephupho elikude kakhulu.

Kodwa yilapho uyidinga khona kakhulu. Futhi yilapho umqondo wocansi lwesondlo ungena khona.

Kungani ucansi lubalulekile ebudlelwaneni?

Incazelo yocansi lwesondlo ihamba kanjena - ucansi oluhle lukumongo wanoma yibuphi ubuhlobo kanye nokuzibophezela, ukwethembeka, nokuxhumana. Futhi ngezinye izikhathi, ngisho nalapho ungahlali usesimweni esikahle ngakho, kufanele ucabangele ukukwenza noma kunjalo. Ukwenza umzamo wokuthola ukusondelana ngokomzimba futhi ujabulele imizimba yomunye nomunye kuyisihluthulelo sokuthola ukugcwaliseka kobudlelwano.

Akungabazeki ukuthi ubulili ebuhlotsheni bomuntu oyedwa akugcini nje ukukhuthaza ukuzibophezela nokusondelana, kodwa futhi kwandisa ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo nomunye umuntu. Futhi muva nje, uma kuyilokho obekuntula ebudlelwaneni bakho, kungani ucansi lungeyona impendulo?

Ucansi alukho ngaso sonke isikhathi mayelana nokuthi ukuphi isimo sengqondo noma ukuthi uzizwa ucindezelekile ngokocansi okuhlala kuza kuwe ngokwemvelo. Cha. Ngezinye izikhathi, kumane nje kumayelana nokuzama ukubuyisa i-mojo - okuyinto ebaluleke kakhulu! Siyazi ukuthi ucansi lukhipha ama-endorphin athile, i-dopamine kanye ne-oxytocin - athuthukisa isimo sengqondo somuntu futhi angakunika umuzwa wokudakwa. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ucansi (hhayi nje ukungena ngaphakathi) lungasiza ekunciphiseni ukucindezeleka ngokulwa ne-cortisol.

Akukhona nje ukuthi ukuya ocansini njalo kuyazuzisa kuwe, kodwa kunenzuzo nasebudlelwaneni bubonke. Kukhulisa ukuzethemba, kukhuthaze uthando, futhi kwakha ukusondelana okuhlala njalo okuhlala ngaphandle kwekamelo lokulala.

Kwenziwa Kanjani Ucansi Lwesondlo?

Uma kungekona nje okokuqomisana kwangemva kokuya ocansini, ziningi ezinye izizathu ezinhle zokwenza ucansi lwesondlo. Kodwa kubalulekile ukuthi uzame ukukwenza kahle esikhundleni sokukuphatha njengohlobo oluthile lomsebenzi ophansi. Manje njengoba sesizwile ukuthi kungani ucansi lubalulekile ebudlelwaneni, manje ake siqhubekele ezintweni ezinkulu.

Ulwenza kanjani ucansi oluhle lwesondlo? Nawa amasenti ethu amabili.

1. Xoxani ngokukhululekile

Umshado omuhle kanye nocansi kuyahambisana, yingakho uma uzama ucansi lwesondlo, kufanele uqiniseke ukuthi unengxoxo enempilo nevulekile ngakho kuqala. Okokuqala, zama ukubhekana nokuthi kungani ungazange uye ocansini kwasekuqaleni. Ingabe ingcindezi evela emsebenzini, into engalungile eyenziwa omunye umlingani, noma ukuntuleka nje kwezimpawu zokukhangana phakathi kwenu nobabili?

Khuluma ngokuthi kungani lokhu kwenzeke nokuthi kufanele niye ocansini lwesondlo kangaki. Kuhlele, kuhlele, misa usuku, noma ungakwenzi uma ungafuni. Uma ucabanga ukuthi ukwenza ucansi ngaphandle kokuluhlaza kuzoba ngcono kuwe njengombhangqwana, gijimani ngalokho. Kodwa qiniseka ukuthi nobabili nisekhasini elilodwa mayelana nalezi zinto.

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2. Khumbula, ukuthi ngeke kuhlale kuhlaba umxhwele

Uma okulindele ocansini lwesondlo kungukuthi luzoshaya ingqondo yakho futhi lushintshe ubuso bobudlelwano benu ngobusuku obubodwa, unephutha. Njengoba nje kuthatha isikhathi ukufunda ukuxazulula izingxabano, ukuzijwayeza ukwethembeka, futhi ube ngcono ekukhulumeni, bheka lokhu njengomkhuba ofanayo futhi.

Uma usebudlelwaneni obungasoze buphele , ukuqomisana okuhle ngeke kuqede zonke izinkinga zomshado wakho. Kufanele uqhubeke nakho. Eqinisweni, akudingeki nje uqhubeke nakho kodwa futhi usebenzele kukho. Zama izinto ezintsha, tshela umlingani wakho ukuthi yini oyithandayo, zama ukwanelisa yena, futhi ugcine inhlansi yothando iphila.

3. Qhubeka ushintsha isimiso

Ukuzama isikhundla esihle sezithunywa zevangeli embhedeni ngaphambi kokulala ngolunye usuku kungase kusebenze. Ngolunye usuku, cabanga nge-quickie ekhishini ngenkathi izingane zigqokela ukuya esikoleni. Ukuqinisekisa ubulili obunempilo emshadweni, qiniseka ukuthi ulokhu ushintsha izinto futhi ungahlali endleleni efanayo yakudala. Leyo nqubo yakudala iyisizathu sokuthi uyeke ukuya ocansini kwasekuqaleni.

Kungani ungatshali imali kwamanye amathoyizi angaphansi kanye namathoyizi ocansi ukuze wenze izinto zibe phezulu? Futhi, cabangani ukubuka izithombe zocansi ndawonye futhi nizame izikhundla ezintsha ukuze nigcine izinto zizintsha. Ngakho ngamanye amazwi, nyakazisa izinto.

4. Gxila ku-orgasm

Ucansi lwesondlo alusizi nje kuphela ukuya ocansini oluhle, kodwa futhi nobuhlobo obuhle. Futhi ukwenza lokho, udinga ukugxila kuma-hormone afanele. Lapho bobabili abantu be-orgasm, ukusondelana nemizwelo kusezingeni eliphezulu. Ngakho-ke qiniseka ukuthi leyo njabulo iwumgwaqo onezindlela ezimbili ukuze abantu bobabili bazijabulele ngempela.

Ukufinyelela i-O enkulu kungabonakala kunzima ikakhulukazi kwabesifazane njengoba bethola i-orgasm encane kakhulu kunabesilisa, kodwa lokho akusona isizathu sokungazami. Mane umbuze ukuthi yini ayithandayo nokuthi yini okufanele uyenze ngendlela ehlukile. Zama konke ongakwenza ukuze umjabulise, kodwa ungazicindezeli uma kungasebenzi.

• Hlela Ukubaluleka Kwezokuxhumana
• Qondani Imizimba Yomunye
• Faka i-Foreplay
• Linga Ngamasu
• Gxila Ekucabangeni
• Sebenzisa i-Lubrication uma Kudingeka
• Yethula Izinhlobonhlobo
• Khuthaza Ukwaneliseka Kwabanye
• Prakthiza Ukubekezela
• Qinisa Imisipha Yama-Pelvic
• Bhekana Nezithiyo Zengqondo
• Hlala Unempilo

5. Akugcini nje ngocansi

Ngisho noma sikutshela zonke izinzuzo ezinkulu zocansi lwesondlo, sifuna wazi ukuthi nakanjani kuzodingeka wenze okwengeziwe ukuze usindise ubudlelwano bakho. Ngisho noma usuqonda ukuthi ubulili bubaluleke kangakanani emshadweni kumuntu wesilisa noma owesifazane, kunezinye izindlela zokubonisa umuntu ukuthi uyamkhathalela futhi umnikeze uthando.

Zamani ukwenza izinto eziningi ndawonye ukuze nigcine uthando luphila ebudlelwaneni benu. Hlela ubusuku bosuku, ngisho nezinsuku ezimbili uma ufuna. Phonsa umlingani wakho izinto ezimangalisayo ezingahleliwe, mlethele ikhofi emsebenzini noma uphuze ingilazi yewayini elibomvu embhedeni ngaphambi kokuba ulale. Zama ukwenza lezi zinto ezincane, ezinengqondo kanye nocansi lwesondlo uma ufuna ngempela ukuphinde ujabule ebudlelwaneni bakho.

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6. Thola izinto ezikukhathazayo ezibulala isifiso sakho socansi

Ungase ungazi, kodwa kungenzeka ukuthi umphathi wakho omusha emsebenzini yisizathu sokuthi awuzange ulale embhedeni muva nje. Noma lokho kunzima, akusho ukuthi ngeke ukwazi ukubhekana nakho futhi wenze impilo yakho yocansi ibe yinhle futhi. Cabanga ukuthi yini edala ukuthi ube ngale ndlela bese wabelana ngayo nophathina wakho. Gxila kulezi zingcindezi ezingase zithinte imizwa yakho bese uzama ukuziqeda.

Ukungathandi ucansi ebudlelwaneni empeleni kuyimbangela esabekayo yokukhathazeka nokungahleleki. Ungakushayi indiva kodwa kunalokho zama ukusebenza kukho. Zama ukunakekela ucansi bese ubona ukuthi izinto ziyashintsha yini ebudlelwaneni bakho. Uma kungenjalo, cabanga ngokuhlangana nochwepheshe wezokwelapha ovela eqenjini lethu labeluleki abanekhono eBonobology.

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

Imicabango Final

Ukunakekela ucansi akuphathelene nesibopho—kumayelana nokubeka phambili isibopho esingokomzwelo nesomzimba esigcina ubudlelwano buchuma. Ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside, izidingo zempilo zivame ukusunduza ukusondelana emuva, okuholela ekuqhelelaneni nasekunganelisekini. Ngokuqaphela ukubaluleka kokusondelana ngamabomu, imibhangqwana ingakha uxhumano olujulile, ithuthukise ukuxhumana, futhi iqinise isibopho sayo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Abelaphi bethu balapha ukuzosiza. Ngesiqondiso sobubele, sinikeza amathuluzi namasu okuvuselela uxhumano, ukubhekana nezithiyo, nokuqinisekisa ubudlelwano obanelisayo.

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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