Ungabhekana Kanjani Nokunqatshelwa Ngokocansi Kusuka Kumlingani Wakho - Amathiphu ayi-9

Cabanga ngalokhu: Ubulokhu uzinzile nomlingani wakho isikhathi esiningi futhi nobabili seningene esimisweni. Ubuhlobo buzwakala buyinto evamile, ngisho nezikhathi zakho ezisondelene ngezinye izikhathi zizizwa ziwumsebenzi onzima, futhi inhlansi owawuyizwa ezinsukwini zakuqala isinyamalele. Uyazama ukukubusa kodwa njalo uma wenza kanjalo, uhlangana nehlombe elibandayo lokulahlwa ngokocansi.

Ukwenqatshwa ngokocansi ebudlelwaneni kungaba nomthelela omkhulu kubantu abahililekile. Kungashiya umlingani oyedwa noma bobabili bephatheke kabi, bekhungathekile, futhi becasukile futhi uma kushiywa kungaxazululeki, kungaba ukuqala kwesiphetho kinina njengombhangqwana. Ukuze wenze isiqiniseko sokuthi lo mshophi ozithola ukuwo awufiki ekubeni yingozi ebudlelwaneni bakho, silapha ukuze sikusize ukuthi ubhekane kanjani nokulahlwa ocansini ngumlingani wakho, ngokubonisana nomeluleki nombhali Niyatii N Shah, ofundisa ngezocansi nomqeqeshi wokusondelana.

Umthelela Wokwenqatshwa Ngokocansi Ebudlelwaneni

Ukwenqatshwa ngokocansi kunemiphumela ejulile ekwanelisekeni kobudlelwane. Ukwenqaba okungaguquki kudala ibanga futhi kunqamule ukuxhumana phakathi kwakho nophathina wakho, kanye nokuzethemba okuphansi ngaphakathi kuwe. Ukuzethemba kwakho okonakele kungase kukushiye uzizwe ungafunwa ocansini, okungaholela ekwehleni kobudlelwano. ukusondelana ngokomzimba nokusondelana ngokomzwelo, okwenza inkinga ibe yimbi nakakhulu.

Uma kuyekwa kunganakiwe, ukwenqatshwa kocansi ebudlelwaneni kungaholela ekungathembekeni noma ekwehlukaneni okuphelele kokuxhumana kwabashadile. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi ukwenqatshwa ngokocansi akukhona njalo ukuhlasela komuntu siqu, futhi kungase kube nezinkinga ezibangela ukwenqatshwa, njengokucindezeleka, ukucindezeleka, noma izinkinga zempilo yomzimba.

Umthelela ongokomzimba nongokomzwelo wokulahlwa ngokocansi

Ngokusho kukaNiyatii, ukwenqatshwa kocansi okungaguquki kumlingani kungaba nomthelela wangempela ngokomzimba kubantu. Uyachaza, “Ukwenqatshwa ocansini kungaba nemiphumela engokomzimba kubantu abasothandweni.Kungaholela ekwehleni kwesifiso socansi, okungadala ukungasebenzi kahle kocansi okunjengokungasebenzi kahle kwe-erectile noma ukomisa kwesitho sangasese sowesifazane.Ukwengeza, ukwenqatshwa isikhathi eside ocansini kungaholela ekwehleni kwamazinga e-testosterone emadodeni, okungaba nomthelela empilweni yabo yonke ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo.

“Ukwenqatshwa ngokobulili kungase kube nomthelela omkhulu ngokomzwelo kubantu abathandanayo, kungabangela imizwa yokungafaneleki, ukuzethemba, nokuzethemba.

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Umthelela wokwenqatshwa kocansi emphakathini

Okungase kungabonakali kakhulu umthelela emphakathini wokulahlwa ngokocansi. U-Niyatii uthi, "Kungakha umuzwa wokuzihlukanisa nokuhoxa emisebenzini yezenhlalo, okungaba nomthelela empilweni yezenhlalo yabo bobabili abalingani. Bangase bagweme imisebenzi yezenhlalo nemicimbi lapho kungalindeleka ukuthi bahlanganyele nabanye noma nabanye. Kungabangela imizwa yecala, ihlazo, nokuphoxeka, futhi kungase kubangele ukungezwani ebunganini nobunye ubudlelwano bomphakathi.

"Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukwenqatshwa kocansi kungaba nomthelela endleleni abalingani abazibona ngayo kanye nekhono labo lokuxhumana nabanye. Kungadala umuzwa wokungazethembi kanye nokungabaza ezimeni zomphakathi, okungase kubhebhethekise inkinga."

Kwenzekani uma izinkanuko zobulili ezingafani ziholela ekwakhiweni?

Kukhona nendaba yokuba namazinga ahlukene ezithakazelo zocansi/sex drive. Kulesi simo, lokhu okuguquguqukayo kuhluke ngokuphelele futhi ukwenqatshwa ngendlela enhle kungagcina ukuqina kobudlelwane ngokungenzi umlingani ongenasithakazelo esincane azizwe enesibopho sokuya ocansini ngenxa yobuhlobo. Ucwaningo luphakamisa ukuthi umusa ekuziphatheni kokwenqaba ucansi kuvame ukukhulisa ukwaneliseka kobudlelwane esikhathini eside kodwa hhayi ukwaneliseka ngokocansi esikhathini esifushane.

Indoda vs owesifazane: Indlela ubulili obubili obusabela ngayo ekunqatshelweni ngokocansi

Ungase futhi uyazibuza, “Umuntu wesifazane uzizwa kanjani lapho enqatshwa ngokobulili nendlela indoda ezizwa ngayo?” Uma kuziwa ekuhlukeni kobulili, u-Niyatii uthi, “Kungase kube nomehluko endleleni indoda esabela ngayo uma kuqhathaniswa nendlela owesifazane asabela ngayo lapho enqatshwa ngokobulili, nakuba lokhu kungase kuhluke kakhulu kuye ngokuthi umuntu ngamunye kanye nezimo ezithile.

Ngakho, owesifazane uzizwa kanjani lapho enqatshwa ngokobulili? Nawa omunye umehluko ongaba khona phakathi kwendlela owesifazane nowesilisa abangasabela ngayo lapho benqatshelwe ngokocansi:

• Abalingani besilisa bangase babonise ukudumala kwabo ngokukhululekile lapho bezizwa benqatshelwe ngokobulili, kuyilapho abesifazane bengase bagcine imizwa yabo kubo.
• Abesilisa bangase bazizwe sengathi ubudoda babo buyasongelwa, kuyilapho abesifazane bengase bazizwe sengathi bayaliwa
• Amadoda angase abone ubulili njengokuxhumana ngokomzimba, kuyilapho abesifazane bengakubona njengento engaphezulu ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo. Ngakho-ke uma bezizwa benqatshelwe umlingani, umthelela ungaba ngokomzimba ngokwemvelo kwabesilisa kuyilapho abesifazane bengase bacasuke kakhulu ngokomzwelo.

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Ungabhekana Kanjani Nokunqatshelwa Ngokocansi Kusuka Kumlingani Wakho - Amathiphu ayi-9

Uma uzithola usesimweni lapho umlingani wakho enqaba ukuya ocansini nawe, kubalulekile ukuthi uphathe isimo ngendlela enempilo ukuze usigweme ukuthi singabambi ekwanelisekeni kobudlelwane bakho. Nawa amanye amathiphu okubhekana nokunqatshelwa kocansi kozakwethu ngendlela enempilo:

1. Ungazithatheli ngokwakho

U-Niyatii uthi, “Ukwenqatshwa ngokocansi kungadala imizwa yokukhungatheka, intukuthelo, kanye nenzondo kumlingani owenqabayo. Uma kungabhekwana naye ngendlela enempilo, le mizwa ingaholela eku ukuhlukana kokuxhumana futhi kulimaze nakakhulu ubuhlobo.”

Kungakho kubalulekile ukuthi okungenani uzame ukungakuthatheli mathupha yize kulula ukukusho kunokukwenza. Qaphela iqiniso lokuthi maningi amathuba okuthi lokhu kuziphatha akuphathelene nawe. Kungenzeka ukuthi kukhona okwenzekayo empilweni yomlingani wakho ongakunaki njengezinkinga zempilo, ukukhathazeka, ukuncipha komdlandla wocansi nokunye okungase kumthene amandla ekubeni ocansini.

2. Khuluma ngokukhululekile

Ngenxa yalokho, kubalulekile ukuba nengxoxo evulekile nethembekile nomlingani wakho mayelana nokuthi kungani enqaba ukuya ocansini. Gwema ukucabangela futhi ulalelisise ukukhathazeka kwabo. Ukuxhumana kuyisihluthulelo sokwaneliseka kobudlelwane kanye nempilo yocansi enempilo. Uma bebonakala bengawuvali umlomo umqondo wale ngxoxo, kungase kube nje ukugwema ukukulimaza.

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3. Bekani eceleni isikhathi sokuxoxa ngakho

Into yokugcina ofuna ukuyenza ukufaka ukukhathazeka kwakho kubo lapho belungiselela umsebenzi noma belungiselela izingane ukuya esikoleni. Bazise ukuthi ufuna ukukhuluma ngakho futhi uqhamuke nesikhathi esivumelana ngaso lapho wazi ukuthi ngeke uphazamiseke.

“Ukusondelana ngokocansi kuvame ukuba yingxenye ebalulekile ukusondelana ngokomzwelo phakathi kwabalingani. Uma ukwenqatshwa ngokocansi kwenzeka, kungadala umuzwa wokunqamuka kwemizwelo kanye nebanga phakathi kwabalingani, okungabangela ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo okwengeziwe. Kuyaphoqa ukuthi kuvulwe izintambo zokuxhumana ngalolu daba ukuze kunqandwe ukuthi lingalawuleki,” kusho uNiyatii.

4. Ungahluleli lapho uzwakalisa ukukhathazeka kwakho

Kubaluleke kakhulu ukwenza umlingani wakho azizwe ephephile nakule ngxoxo. Awufuni ukuvela njengomuntu osolayo noma ogwebayo ngoba lokho kuzobavala umlomo. Ungase usho into enjengokuthi, “Sekunesikhathi singalali” noma “Ngizizwa sengathi siyaqhelelana.”

Umlingani wakho angase aqaphele ukuthi ulahlekelwe isithakazelo ocansini kodwa angacabangi lutho ngalokho angakusho. Futhi okubaluleke nakakhulu, ungabahluleli. Ukuthola ukuthi ungamtshela kanjani umlingani wakho ukuthi awenelisekile ngokocansi ngaphandle kokumlimaza kuyisihluthulelo sokuxazulula le nkinga.

5. Batshele ukuthi uzizwa kanjani

Uma sebekuvezile okubakhathazayo, ungabazisa ngesineke indlela ukukwenqaba kwabo ngokobulili okukwenze wazizwa ngayo. Esikhundleni sokuthi, “Ungenza ngizizwe ngingelutho,” noma “Ngikhathele yikho ukuqala ukusondelana,” ungazama into enjengokuthi, “Ngizizwa ngingathandeki futhi kuthinta ukuzethemba kwami.” Ukuveza imizwa yakho kubalulekile ekubhekaneni nokuhlukumezeka kwakho kokwaliwa ngokocansi, futhi ukukwenza ngendlela enomusa, enozwelo kubalulekile ukuze uqinisekise ukuthi le ngxoxo iyakhiqiza futhi iyasiza.

6. Hlonipha imingcele

Kubalulekile futhi ukuthi uhloniphe imingcele yomlingani wakho futhi ungamsunduzi ukuthi azibandakanye ocansini uma engakhululekile. Imvume ibalulekile kunoma yimuphi umsebenzi wocansi futhi awufuni ukukhulisa ukungasebenzi kwabo ngokucindezela ukuba baye ocansini. Alikho iphutha ngokufuna ucansi kodwa uma umuntu wakho engafuni ukuya ocansini kumele ukuhloniphe lokho.

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7. Gxila kwezinye izinhlobo zokusondelana

Esikhundleni sokuzama ukuthola ukuthi ungenza kanjani umlingani wakho akufune ngokocansi, zama ukuba khona kuye ngezinye izindlela. U-Niyatii uthi, “Ucansi luwuhlobo olulodwa nje lokusondelana. Zama ukugxila kwezinye izindlela zokuxhumana nophathina wakho, njengokugona, ukubambana ngezandla, noma ukuhlikihla izinyawo zomunye nomunye.” Ukwenza lokhu kungasiza ekuqiniseni ubudlelwano benu ngokutshela umlingani wakho ukuthi uyamkhathalela.

I-8. Zinakekele

Kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi kufanele uzishaye indiva. Ukuhlukumezeka kokwaliwa ngokocansi kungakheka ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. UNiyatii uthi, “Uma uzizwa ulahliwe, kubalulekile ukuzinakekela ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba.” Lokhu kungase kusho ukukhuluma nomngane omethembayo, ukuzinakekela, noma ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe uma kudingeka.”

9. Thola isinyathelo esilandelayo

Kuya ngesizathu sokuthi kungani umlingani wakho enqaba ucansi nawe, shintsha indlela obonisa ngayo uthando lwakho kuye noma uqale ukucabanga / ukuxoxa ngezinyathelo ezilandelayo. Khumbula, ukwenqatshwa ngokocansi emshadweni/ebudlelwaneni akukhombisi ukubaluleka kwakho njengomuntu. Kubalulekile ukubhekana nalesi simo ngozwela, ukuqonda, kanye nenhlonipho ngawe nomlingani wakho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukuziphatha kwabo kokwaliwa ngokocansi kukwenza uzizwe kanjani.

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Indlela Yokwenqaba Intuthuko Yezocansi Ngendlela Elungile

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma kunguwe ozizwa ucindezelwa ukuthi uye ocansini olwengeziwe futhi uzibuza ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nakho ngaphandle kokulimaza umlingani wakho, nanka amathiphu akho:

1. Thembeka futhi ucace

UNiyatii uthi, “Kubalulekile ukukhuluma ngemizwa yakho kanye imingcele ebuhlotsheni ngokucacile nangokwethembeka. Bazise indlela ozizwa ngayo nokuthi kungani ungafuni ukuya ocansini ngaleso sikhathi.”

Abanye abalingani bahlala bethule futhi bayakugwema ukukhuluma becabanga ukuthi bazokwahlulelwa noma ngenxa yokwesaba ukusabela okweqisayo. Uma unokukhathazeka kwangempela ngalokhu, kungaba ukuhlakanipha ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe kuqala. Ukuzama ukugwema ucansi kuzokwenza isimo sibe sibi kakhulu.

2. Bonisa ukwazisa

Nakuba ungase ungafuni ukuhlanganyela emisebenzini yocansi, kubalulekile ukukhombisa ukwazisa ngezinyathelo zomlingani wakho. Babonge ngentshisekelo yabo futhi ubazise ukuthi usabazisa futhi uyabathanda. Ucwaningo iphakamisa ukuthi lolu hlobo 'lokwenqatshwa okuqinisekisayo' luwukubheja okungcono kakhulu kokwaneliseka kobudlelwane nakuba ukwaneliseka ngokocansi kungase kuthathe ithonya lesikhashana. Ukuziphatha kokwenqaba ucansi kungenza noma kuphule ubudlelwano bothando.

3. Nikeza enye indlela

U-Niyatii uthi, “Uma ungekho esimweni sokwenza ucansi, phakamisa enye indlela yokuxhumana nophathina wakho futhi ungene emandleni ukuthinta ngokomzimba ukuze nizizwe nisondelene. Mhlawumbe ningagona noma nibuke ifilimu ndawonye.” Lokhu kukhombisa umlingani wakho ukuthi nakuba ungekho esimweni socansi, usafuna ukuba naye futhi uzimisele ukuzama ezinye izinhlobo zothando lomzimba Zama ukuxhumana naye ukuthi isikhathi esiseduze sakho asihlanganisi ucansi njalo.

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4. Misa imingcele (ifaka ukuphindaphinda)

Uma kuziwa ebudlelwaneni bocansi, kunzima ukweqisa ukubaluleka kwemingcele. Kulokhu, u-Niyatii uthi, "Kubalulekile ukuhlonipha imingcele yakho kanye nemingcele yomlingani wakho. Uma ungakhululekile ngokuthile, bazise, ​​futhi ungesabi ukwenqaba." Uma uzizwa uvikelekile, funa usizo lochwepheshe ekusingatheni isimo.

5. Phinda uvakashele ingxoxo

Ngemva kokwala ukuyengwa ngokocansi, kubalulekile ukuthi uphinde uvakashele ingxoxo nomlingani wakho. Xoxani ngemizwa nemingcele yenu, nisebenze ndawonye nithole ukuthi kwenziwa kanjani xhuma kabusha nomlingani wakho ngokocansi futhi banelise izidingo zomunye nomunye ngendlela enempilo nangenhlonipho. Le ngxoxo ingahamba ibanga elide ekucaciseni izinhloso zokuziphatha kwakho ukwenqaba ucansi.

Ukwenqatshelwa ucansi akuzwakali kumnandi kodwa kungazulazula ngokucophelela nokuqonda ukuze uthole ukwaneliseka okukhulu kobudlelwane. Uma ubhekene nokwenqatshwa kocansi ebuhlotsheni bakho, khumbula ukuthi ukungaxhumani ngokocansi nomlingani wakho akuyona ukuphela kwezwe futhi akuyona ukuphela kwendlela ongabopha ngayo nabo.

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