Ukudweba Umugqa Phakathi Kothando Nobumfihlo Ebudlelwaneni

Ngingomunye ohlale ethathela phezulu ubumfihlo ebudlelwaneni. Kodwa entombini yami, akuzange kube nengqondo kangako. Ukwabelana nawe ngesigameko ukuze ngikubonise ukuthi ngiqonde ukuthini.

Sisendaweni yokudlela, sigcwele izingxoxo ezithulisiwe nama-drapes abomvu amnyama. U-Mallory uhlezi ngaphesheya kwetafula lekhofi ukusuka kimina ubheke ekujuleni kwe-mocha yakhe kashokholethi omhlophe. Sekuphele izinyanga eziyisishiyagalombili singakhulumisani kahle. Ngiyazi ukuthi uthukuthele kodwa anginaso isiqiniseko sokuthi kungani. Ngingakucabanga ukudumala, yebo. Intukuthelo, cha.

Uphakamisa ikhanda lakhe kancane, angibheke emehlweni, njengokungathi kukhona akufunayo, bese ethi, “Awukaze ungiqonde.” Ngibheke eceleni. Ayikho impendulo eyamukelekayo kulokho kusolwa ngaphandle kokuthula okuphelele. Uyaqhubeka, “Angicabangi ukuthi wake wangikhathalela ngempela noma ngobuhlobo bethu.”

Ngiyakubona Ukubaluleka Kwesikhala Somuntu Siqu Ebudlelwaneni

“Kodwa nginakho, Mallory,” ngiphendula.

Uyangishaya indiva. “Bekungathi ngikhona kuwe kuphela ngesikhathi sindawonye. Eminyakeni emibili yonke esihlale kuyo njengombhangqwana, awukaze ungibuze ukuthi ngikuphi, ngenzani, nginobani, noma nini lapho ngingekho. Ingabe yileyo ndlela obonisa ngayo uthando ?”

Angiqondi nhlobo. Ingabe uthi uthukuthele, ngoba angizange ngingene empilweni yakhe siqu? Ngoba empeleni ngiyasihlonipha isikhala somuntu siqu ebudlelwaneni? Ukuthi ngangimthatha njengomuntu omdala hhayi njengebhungu elidinga ukugadwa?

Engakwenza nje ukuzama ukumnika ubumfihlo ebudlelwaneni

"Ngiyakuhlonipha sthandwa. Lokho kusho ukuthi ngiyakuhlonipha ukwahlulela kwakho. Izinqumo zakho. Ngikholwa ukuthi uma ufuna ukungitshela okuthile uzokuhlonipha. Ngiyavuma futhi ukuthi ungase ungafuni ukwabelana nami ngakho konke. Ngakho-ke uma ungangitsheli izinto ezifana nokuthi ubukuphi, ubunobani, ubuwenzani, noma ukuthi kungani ubukwenza, ngiyakwamukela njengelungelo lakho lokugcina impilo yakho yangasese iyimfihlo. Ungahamba uyojabulela ubusuku bakho bonke nabangani futhi angifuni ukudala izinkinga, yilokho kuphela."

Njengozakwethu, uziphendulela ebudlelwaneni bethu kuphela. Njengomuntu ungumoya okhululekile futhi awunasibopho kunoma ubani ngaphandle kukanembeza wakho. Angikaze ngisho lokho ngaphambili? Ngimane ngithathe indawo yomuntu siqu ebudlelwaneni njengento ebaluleke kakhulu kunawe. ”

Uphefumulela phezulu. Amehlo akhe ayangisola kodwa ngamacala angikawaboni. “Akufani, akufani neze,” iphimbo lakhe linomphetho kukho manje, “Yilokho ongeke ukuqonde.”

Umusho wokugcina uzwakala njengesiqalekiso esingenakuguqulwa. Ngabe umphefumulo wami uzozulazula kulomhlaba unaphakade ufuna ukuqonda, ungakutholi na?

"Uqonde ukuthi kwakumele ngikugcine ngikujongile ngesikhathi uphumile noma wenza into engingeyona ingxenye yayo? Ngabe lokho bekuzokujabulisa?"

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Yini Okufanele Uyenze Ngemva Kokulwa Nesoka Lakho?

Wayengakholwa nje

Ngiphenya ebusweni bakhe ukuze ngithole izimpawu zokuvuma. Kukhona ulaka kuphela lapho. Kodwa kunokuthile okungaqondakali ngentukuthelo yakhe. Ngike ngakubona lokho kubukeka ngaphambili. Ezinganeni ezikhubekayo futhi ziwe futhi zingakwazi ukunquma ukuthi ubani noma yini okufanele isole - idwala ngokuba sendleleni, umhlabathi obangela ubuhlungu noma abazali abangazange babonakale ngokushesha bezobuqeda.

Ngihlezi ngibuka imigqa yobuso bakhe echazwe ngobuhle ngizibuza ukuthi uthando luchithwa kanjani lapha. Angikakwazi ukuqonda ukuthi yini - inkinga yokunikeza isikhala esanele ebudlelwaneni. Imigqa evela enkondlweni yomshado kaKhalil Gibran ingena emicabangweni yami:

Nikelani izinhliziyo zenu, kodwa hhayi ekugcineni komunye nomunye.

Ngokuba yisandla sokuPhila kuphela esingaqukatha izinhliziyo zenu.

Nime ndawonye nokho ningasondelene kakhulu;

Ngokuba izinsika zethempeli zihlukene;

Isihlahla som-okhi nomsayipuresi akumi emthunzini womunye.

Ingabe Kufanele Kube Nobumfihlo Ebudlelwaneni?

Futhi ngizwa okuthile okusondele ekuqondeni enhliziyweni yami. Kumane kuphakamise imibuzo eminingi kunezimpendulo. Ingabe uMallory wayesamukele inguqulo ethandwayo yokuthi ubuhlobo buyini? Ingabe wayedayiswe ngenxa yokuziphatha kokufaneleka kanye 'nobunikazi' bomunye nomunye ebudlelwaneni obuseduze? Bengicabanga ukuthi ngithandana nowesifazane ozimele , kodwa lokho kwakubonakala kungenjalo ngoMallory.

Ingabe, ngokungabuzi ngezinto ezifana nokuthi ukuphi, ngadala “ukwehlukana okungokomoya?” Futhi lokho kwakungamukeleki enhliziyweni ekholelwayo, nabanye abayisigidi, ku-'Us' ofakwe esikhundleni sika-'Mina' ebuhlotsheni bothando? Ingabe sonke sihlose ukuba isigqila esingokomoya emshadweni noma kufanele kube nemfihlo ebudlelwaneni kanye nenkululeko?

Ngisacabanga 'ngesiqalekiso.' Ingabe umngane womshado obuza imibuzo eyengeziwe angamthanda kakhulu umlingani wakhe? Inzalo iphela nini? Iba nini i-pathological? Kufanele kube nezinkomba ezingcono zothando nothando phakathi kwemiphefumulo emibili, akunjalo?

Umuntu ufanelwe yinkululeko yokuzikhethela

Ngikhunjuzwa ngesibopho somzali. Njengomzali, sifundisa izingane zethu ukuzibophezela kanye nokuzimela. Siyazisiza zithole isibindi sokuthemba ukwahlulela kwazo. Ngamandla ethu onke sizilungiselela umhlaba. Futhi ngolunye usuku ziyandiza ziye ezweni elivulekile. Ngeke usaqondisa izenzo zazo. Ngeke usashayela ucingo ukuze uhlole ukuthi zikuphi, zinobani noma zenzani. Kubalulekile ukuba nenkululeko ebudlelwaneni.

Uzobaphatha njengabantu abadala abalinganayo abakhululekile ukuhola izimpilo zabo ngendlela abafuna ngayo. Khona-ke kungani ukwazi komuntu omdala kungahlehla? Kungani ifisa ukubuyela kuleso sigaba sokukhula lapho abazali kufanele babahlole? Lapho imibuzo ethi, “Ukuphi?,” “Unobani?,” “Wenzani?,” ibuzwa njalo? Yilapho ukuqonda kwami ​​kubhidlika khona futhi ukumangalelwa kukaMallory kudlulela endaweni engaqondakali.

Njengabantu abadala, ubumfihlo ebudlelwaneni busho ukuhloniphana

Uma silinganisa ilukuluku lokungena kwabantu esibambisene nabo ngokuphila kwethu njengophawu lokuthi banesithakazelo noma basithanda, silahlekelwe ukuzimela kwethu ngokomoya nangokomzwelo. Uma bengenakukwazi ukuyeka ukungena endaweni yangasese lapho sikhona njengabantu ngabanye hhayi njengabalingani, thina kanye nelungelo lethu lokuphila asihlonishwa. Uma umuntu ezibuza ukuthi kungani umlingani wakhe engabuzanga ngento ethile, akulona yini icala elingcono ukubuza ukuthi kungani engakabelani ngolwazi nomlingani wakhe kakade? Lokhu kimi, ukungenelela kobumfihlo ebudlelwaneni kanye nokuphambene nokuthuthukisa inhlonipho komunye nomunye.

Okungikhathazayo futhi okungiphatha kabi kakhulu ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi uMallory akayedwa othukuthele. Noma 'ekulindeni' kwakhe ukubuzwa ngezinqumo zakhe zansuku zonke. Kumelwe kube nezinkulungwane zabesifazane nabesilisa ababilayo ngaphakathi, ngentukuthelo abakholelwa ukuthi kufanele futhi benqabe njalo ukubaluleka kobumfihlo ebudlelwaneni. Ngethemba ukuthi bazokwazi ukuchaza imizwa yabo kubalingani babo futhi ngokuhlangene bafune indawo ephakeme ukuze bathole isibalo esisebenza kangcono kubo bobabili.

Mina noMallory, asizange siphuze ikhofi ndawonye kusukela ngaleso sikhathi.

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