Uma uphuma kobunye ubudlelwano obungaphumeleli futhi usale udangele futhi mhlawumbe udangele, ugcina ngokuzibuza, “Ungalunga kanjani ekubeni ungashadile?”. Yize ukhumbula i-ex yakho kakhulu, uyaziqinisekisa ukuthi awukaze uyidinge kwasekuqaleni ukuze ukwazi ukugxila empilweni yakho. Kodwa ingabe usuke uqinisile lapho uzitshela ukuthi azibalulekile? Uyazi ukuthi awazi.
Ukuthola ukuthi ungaba kanjani ok ngokuba ongashadile, ikakhulukazi lapho ungazange uqale ukuhlukana futhi ungakaze ube wedwa isikhathi eside akulula. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uqamba amanga kangakanani kuwe, iqiniso lizokufica ekugcineni. Kungaleso sikhathi lapho uyozizwa ushaywe ngokuzumayo futhi ubone ukuthi awukaze ubhekane ne-ex yakho ngoba ungayinakanga inkinga esikhundleni sokuyixazulula.
Ngakho-ke, sifika embuzweni othi: Ungalunga kanjani ngokuba ungashadile? Okokuqala, khumbula ukuthi ukuba sebudlelwaneni nokujabula akuhlobene: injabulo yakho isezandleni zakho futhi ilawulwa nguwe kuphela. Futhi yilapho uwedwa lapho ungagxila khona ngempela kuwena nasezinjongweni zakho ekuphileni. Ungamoshi omunye umzuzu ngokunyakazisa lapho ungaba khona wenza izinto ezinhle futhi unqoba umhlaba! Uma uzimisele ngokwenza kanjalo, funda kusengaphambili.
Ukungashadi Kunzima Kodwa Kumele Ukwamukele
Okuqukethwe
Ingabe kulungile ukungashadi lapho wonke umuntu oseduze kwakho ethandana, eshada, futhi enezingane? Nakanjani! Kungcono ukuba wedwa kunokuhlala nomuntu ongamthandi noma ongamhloniphi. Umphakathi ubeka ingcindezi ethile, ikakhulukazi kwabesifazane, okubenza bakholelwe ukuthi badinga ukuthola ukwaneliseka ngobudlelwano nokuthi konke okunye empilweni yabo akubalulekile noma okwesikhashana.
Njengomuntu wekhulu lama-21, udinga ukwazi ukuthi akukho kulokhu okuyiqiniso. Ukungashadi kulungile futhi abantu abaningi kulezi zinsuku bakhetha ukuphila le mpilo ngokuzithandela. Ukwamukela ukungashadi kusho ukwamukela ukuthi usukulungele uhambo olusha empilweni yakho lapho ungagxila khona ezintweni ozithandayo. Ungagxila kokuthile okusha noma uhambe uye ezweni elisha osulangazelela ukulithola. Ukuba ongashadile kulungile, sihogo, kungaba into enkulu kakhulu owake wanquma ukuyenza.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinto Ezi-7 Okufanele Uzenze Uma Ungashadile Kodwa Ungakakulungeli Ukuhlangana
Kuyenzeka Ukungashadi Futhi Ujabule
Kunezinto eziningi ongazithanda uma ungashadile, kodwa okokuqala, kufanele wamukele ukuthi kulungile ukuba ungashadile. Impilo yakho ingashintsha ibe ngcono kodwa kuphela uma uyivumela. Ukuzilibazisa nokubheka emuva ebudlelwaneni bakho bangaphambilini ngeke kukuyise ndawo.
Esikhundleni sokucabanga ngobudlelwano bakho bokugcina, gxila ebuhlotsheni bakho bamanje nawe. Yilapho-ke ozothola khona ukuthi kunjani ngempela ukungashadi nokujabula. Ngakho-ke, yiziphi izinto ongazenza ukuze wamukele impilo yokungashadi futhi ugxile kuwena ngokweqiniso?
Thatha amanothi kule movie
Ifilimu ethi How To Be Single, edlala uRebel Wilson noDakota Johnson, iqala njengehlaya lothando elibikezelwayo mayelana nowesifazane oneminyaka engu-20 othuthela eNew York ukuze 'azithole' ngaphambi kokuzinza nesoka lakhe lesikhathi eside. Uba umngane nomunye owesifazane oneminyaka engu-20 emsebenzini wakhe futhi benza lokho wonke umuntu eNew York abonakala ekwenza: ukuchitha isikhathi ebha njengoba leyo ingenye yezindawo ezinhle kakhulu zokuhlangana namadoda.
Ngokushesha iphenduka into ehluke kakhulu. Isoka lesikhathi eside empeleni liyinsizwa elungile egcina inomunye umuntu, futhi ihlangana nenye insizwa, eyindoda ehloniphekile kodwa ebhekana nezindaba zayo. Ifilimu ephusile emayelana nabantu abanengqondo abenza ukukhetha okuhlakaniphile esikhundleni sokukhulu, okunothando.
Lapho ngiqhubeka ngibuka, ngaqaphela ukuthi kungani le filimu ingasebenzi endaweni yama-rom-com nokuthi kungani izigidi zabesifazane abangashadile yonke indawo zingeke zithande iqiniso lokuthi umholi wesifazane oyinhloko wenza into exakile - ukhetha ubungane nokuzithanda kunowesilisa. Indlela Yokuba Ongashadile ibhekana nenkinga ebalulekile ehlupha abantu abaningi abaseminyakeni yabo yama-20 nama-30. Kusho ukuthini ubudlelwano uma ubuhlobo bokuqala - obunomuntu siqu - bungakhuliswanga?
Ukuthola ibhalansi phakathi nempilo yomuntu siqu
Iningi lethu besifazane lifuna ukwenza konke okwenziwa yindoda futhi likwenze kangcono ngenkathi libukeka lihle kakhulu. Ngingomunye wabo. Ngifuna ukwenza KONKE. Ngifuna ukuzivocavoca, ngithole umsebenzi owanelisayo nophumelelayo futhi ngibe nokuphila kwami ngalokho. Ingasaphathwa eyokuthi, ngiba nobusuku bamantombazane nabangani bami ngangokunokwenzeka.
Ngifuna futhi ukuba nobudlelwano obusebenzayo nomndeni wami ukuze ngithole 'isikhathi somndeni' nsuku zonke, ngokuzithandela. Kukho konke lokhu, asikho isikhathi esisele sokubeka ezothando kuqala kuqala. Konke ukudlala ngothando kwenzeka phezu kwe-Tinder. Izinsuku zilungiswa ngombhalo, futhi amaphrofayili abhekwa ezinkundleni zokuxhumana. Yilokho kakhulu engingakwenza ngalesi sikhathi.
Iqiniso liwukuthi, kunezinsuku lapho umqondo wokwenza inkulumo encane nengxoxo ephula izivikelo zomunye umuntu ukhandleka. Ukwenza lokhu futhi ugcine ingqondo yakho ihlanzekile cishe akunakwenzeka, ngempela. Pho ngenzenjani? Kuleli qophelo, ngingathanda ngokweqiniso kungcono nje ngamukele ukungashadi impilo yonke.
Ukungashadi akusho ukuba wedwa
Ungaba kanjani ongashadile futhi uwuthande? Khetha wena kuqala. ngiyakhetha mina. Nginqume ukuthi ngizokwamukela ukuba single. Kodwa hhayi njengoba kuchazwa umphakathi - spinster, ongashadi, eshalofini, nanoma yikuphi ukuhluka kwakho. Njengami nje. Umuntu othanda ukwenza izinto angakwazi ngenkathi esebenza cishe u-70% wesikhathi.
Yebo, lokhu akusho ukuthi angiyifuni indoda ehloniphekile eqondayo ukuthi isihlwathi simayelana nani futhi ezohlala futhi ixoxisane ngoCaptain America no-Iron Man nokuthi lokho kukhuluma kanjani nokucwasa ngokobulili okucashile okuhlupha umphakathi. Amaphuzu ebhonasi uma enezinwele ezigcwele futhi angiqabule ngize ngilahlekelwe umqondo.
Yingakho ngibukela amahlaya othando. Ngisenethemba lengxoxo enhle nokulungiselela uthando olujulile. Kodwa umehluko kuphela manje ukuthi sengiqalile ukufunda ukuba ngongashadile. Yingakho futhi ngisashadile. Anginaso isizungu. Ngingungashadile nje.
Ungalunga kanjani ngokuba single? Inkululeko ivula amehlo
Ukuba wedwa kuyinto enkulu. Hhayi ngoba uthola ukudla, ukuphuza, ukufefa, ukucula, ukukhala, ukuklabalasa nokudlala imidlalo yevidiyo noma nini lapho ufuna, uma ukhetha kanjalo. Hhayi ngoba ungavakashela izindawo ezingavamile noma ungene endaweni ye-spa noma wenze noma yini oyithandayo, akukho mibuzo ebuziwe.
Empeleni ungajabula kakhulu ngokuba ongashadile ngoba isisindo sokulindela, izifiso ezingafezeki nezingafezeki asisekho. Injabulo yakho ayincikile ezenzweni zomunye umuntu noma ekuphenduleni kwakhe. Umuzwa wakho wokuzibona ubalulekile awuboshelwe enanini lamadoda (noma abesifazane) abakuthola kushisa embhedeni noma inani lezinsuku abakukhipha ngazo ngaphambi kokuba unqume ukulala nabo. Manje awunakho ukucindezeleka!
Usuku Lwezithandani elokudla oshokoledi kanti izinsuku zokuzalwa ziwukuchitha izinto ozifunayo ngempela, kabi ngempela. Inhliziyo yakho ingeyakho. Ayiphukile. Inhliziyo engadabukile inikeza ukuthula kwengqondo umuntu othukuthele angeke akwazi ukukwenza. Manje sengifundile nokuthi ngingaqhubeka kanjani lapho ukwehlukana kuba nzima, futhi lokho kuwukufunda umuntu angasoze akukhohlwa.
Ukuba ngedwa kuwukukhetha engikwenzayo nsuku zonke ukuze ngibeke mina, UBUNINA bami ngaphezu kwabo bonke abanye. Ungalunga kanjani ngokuba single? Ngizikhumbuza ukuthi ngibe sebudlelwaneni obusebenzayo, obujabulisayo nami kuqala ukuze ngiphume futhi nginqobe zonke lezi zintaba engisazozikala. Akuwona umbuzo wokufunda ukuthi ukwamukela kanjani ukungashadi. Kepha yokufunda ukuthi ungaba kanjani. KUBE NJE. Kulungile. Yiba okwamanje. Yiba lapha nanoma ubani enginaye. Yiba othandweni, ungabi sothandweni, yiba nje.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Nakanjani! Ukugxuma usuka kobunye ubuhlobo uye kobunye kungaba yingozi futhi kungakudedisela kude nawe. Thatha isikhashana bese ucabanga ukuhlala ungashadile isikhashana. Eqinisweni kunabantu abaningi abamukele ukungashadi unomphela njengombono futhi kubasebenzela kahle.
Kungcono impela ukungashadi kunokuhlala nomuntu ongamthandi ngokuphelele noma ongakufanele. Konke kuncike esimweni sakho, izidingo zakho, kanye nabantu abaseduze nawe.
Cha impela. Ukungashadi kunzima futhi ukufunda ukuthi ungayijabulela kanjani leyo ndlela yokuphila kuyinto ebaluleke kakhulu. Kudinga isibindi ukuze uzimele futhi ungazami ukubonisa uthando empilweni yakho ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Yeka ukukhathazeka ngesimo sobudlelwano bakho futhi uqale ukukhathazeka ngokukhula kwakho! Leyo yindlela eqinisekile yokugxilisa amandla akho entweni efanele.
Kulungile ukungashadi kunoma iyiphi iminyaka noma usuku empilweni yakho. Ubudlelwano noma umlingani akukuchazi.
Indlela Yokungazizwa Unesizungu Uma Ungashadile Futhi Ufuna Uthando
Usenza Kanjani Isimo Sakho Sodwa Sibekezeleleke Ngosuku LweValentine
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
Nginomuzwa wokuthi ukungashadi kusiza umuntu ukuba aphishekele izindinganiso zesimanje ezingcwele, inkululeko yomuntu siqu, ukuzilawula komuntu siqu, kanye nokuzazi.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yenziwa eyedwa noma nabanye abantu, abangashadile bavame ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi emisebenzini yokuzilibazisa iyonke. Lelo elinye futhi iphuzu engangingase ngicabange ngalo.
Leyo yindlela engcono kakhulu yokuphila – ungashadi
Ukubhala okuhle.Ukungashadi kusisiza ukuthi sizitholele thina….