Uma Uphupha Ngomuntu Usuke Ecabanga Ngawe

Sichitha cishe ingxenye eyodwa kwezintathu yezimpilo zethu silele. Ngokwengxenye enkulu yaleso sikhathi, siyaphupha. Kwesinye isikhathi lawo maphupho ayajabulisa, kwesinye isikhathi ezothando, avusa inkanuko, kanti kwesinye isikhathi asabisa kakhulu. Amanye amaphupho ayaphindaphindeka, uma ubona umuntu oyedwa emaphusheni akho ngokuphindaphindiwe, kungokwemvelo ukuzibuza, uma uphupha ngomuntu, ingabe ucabanga ngawe?

Akekho owaziyo ngempela ukuthi kungani siphupha noma asho ukuthini amaphupho. Kodwa kunenkolelo evamile ukuthi amaphupho awumfanekiso wengqondo yethu engaphansi lapho singcwaba khona ukwesaba kwethu okujulile, ukuhlukumezeka okuqeda amathumbu, kanye nezifiso zethu ezingakhulumeki. Ukuze uthole ukucaciseleka okwengeziwe ngencazelo nokubaluleka kwamaphupho, sikhulume nabo Kreena Desai, isazi sezinkanyezi nomeluleki weVastu. 

“Amaphupho awuchungechunge lwezithombe, imicabango, nemizwelo umuntu aba nayo phakathi nanoma yisiphi isigaba somjikelezo wokulala. Ukulala kwe-REM kuyisiteji lapho kukhiqizwa khona amaphupho akhumbuleka kakhulu. Ngokuvamile ahlotshaniswa nengqondo esebenza ngokweqile. Ngezinye izikhathi amaphupho ahlobene nokuthile obekuhlale kumuntu usuku lonke.” Ngokuvumelana ne ucwaningo, umuntu ovamile uphupha izikhathi ezine kuya kweziyisithupha ngobusuku obubodwa. Ungase uchithe cishe amahora angu-2 uphupha phakathi nokulala ubusuku obubodwa.

Kungani Siphupha?

U-Kreena uthi, “Siyaphupha ngoba kusiza ubuchopho ukuthi busebenze imizwa, buhlanganise izinkumbulo, futhi bathole ukuzijwayeza ukubhekana nezingozi ezingase zibe khona. ukucindezeleka ngokwezimali noma ingcindezi yobudlelwane ethinta impilo yakhe yengqondo. Amaphupho alandelayo angaba yimpendulo yenkinga noma akubonise umsuka wenkinga.” Lo mbono usekelwe ezintweni ezintathu:

• Izinto ozibona ephusheni
• Imvelo 
• Ukuhlobana kwakho nezinto/izinto ozibona ephusheni

Amaphupho ayaqhubeka nokugqugquzela uzungu kanye nentshisekelo kubacwaningi njengoba kuningi okungakatholwa kulo mkhakha kuze kube manje. Umqondo kanye nokucabanga ngemuva kwamaphupho akukaqinisekwa. Nokho, into eyodwa eqinisekile - amaphupho mahle kithi. Kwakamuva ucwaningo uthole ukuthi ukungaphuphi kubi njengokungalali futhi kungaholela ezinkingeni zempilo eziningi.

Bathole ukuthi ukulahlekelwa amaphupho kuyingozi engaziwa yezempilo yomphakathi edala umonakalo buthule ezimpilweni zethu, okunomthelela ekuguleni, ekucindezelekeni nasekuwohlokeni kokwazi. Yingakho kubalulekile ukuthi siphuphe okungenani amahora angu-2 ebusuku. 

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Izici Nezinhlobo Zamaphupho

Ngokusho the I-National Sleep Foundation, sivame ukuphupha izikhathi ezine kuya kweziyisithupha ngobusuku ngabunye. Lokho kuyizinhlobo ezine kuya kweziyisithupha zamaphupho ngobusuku ngabunye. Ungase ungakukholwa lokhu ngoba abantu bakhohlwa amaphupho angaphezu kuka-95%. 

Echaza izici zamaphupho, uKreena uthi, “Amaphupho ngokuvamile abonakala futhi anombala. Nokho, abanye abantu baphupha ngokumnyama nokumhlophe futhi. Konke kuncike emizweni obuye waba nayo phakathi nosuku. Lapho ucindezeleka kakhulu, yilapho uyoba namaphupho angathandeki kakhulu.”

Ngaphambi kokuthi singene ekuchazeni izinhlobo ezahlukene zamaphupho futhi sibhekane nombuzo wokuthi uma uphupha ngomuntu, ingabe ucabanga ngawe, ake sibhekisise ukuthi lezi zithombe zokwazi kwethu zenziwe ngani. Kunezinhlobo ezi-5 ngqo zamaphupho:

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1. Amaphupho

Ukuphupha emini yilapho siphupha khona lapho siphapheme. Kungumzamo wokubalekela iqiniso. Ukukubeka ngamagama alula, ukuphupha emini kuza nezimo ezingamanga emakhanda ethu ukuze siziphazamise kulokho okwenzekayo njengamanje. Ngokwesibonelo, ungaba ukuzizwa ungavikelekile ebudlelwaneni, yingakho nje uphupha ngesimo esingcono ekhanda lakho.

Kunemiphumela eminingi emihle yokuphupha emini futhi:

• Ukuphupha emini kuthuthukisa ukukhiqiza 
• Inciphisa ukucindezeleka nokukhathazeka.
• Ingakusiza futhi ukuxazulula izinkinga, ikunikeze umbono omusha ngezimo
• Ithuthukisa ubuciko 

2. Ukuvuka okungamanga

Ukuphaphama okungamanga yilapho umuntu esalele kodwa akholelwe ukuthi uvukile ebuthongweni ngesikhathi esaphupha. Lokhu ngokuvamile kwenzeka ngesikhathi sokulala kwe-REM. Phakathi kwezinhlobo ezahlukene zamaphupho, lokhu kungaba okudidayo nokudidayo.  

3. Amaphupho aluhlaza

Ukuphupha nge-Lucid kungenye yezinhlobo zamaphupho lapho umuntu azi ukuthi uyaphupha futhi angakwazi ukulawula umzimba wakhe nemicabango ngaphakathi kwephupho. Baqaphela ukuthi njengamanje basesimweni sokuphupha futhi banamandla okulawula umzimba wabo. 

4. Amaphupho amabi

Asho ukuthini amaphupho amabi? Amaphupho amabi amaphupho adala imizwa yokwethuka nokwesaba. Lokhu kungase kube ngenxa yokucindezeleka umuntu abhekana nakho nsuku zonke futhi lawa maphupho asabisayo abe yindlela yobuchopho yokuthola indawo yokuphuma yalezi zingcindezi. Ezinye izimbangela ezivamile zamaphupho amabi ukungadli kahle, izehlakalo ezibuhlungu zangaphambilini, umthwalo wemizwa, ukugula, ukungalali kahle, ukuphazamiseka kokulala, noma imithi. 

5. Amaphupho angokwesiprofetho

Amaphupho ayisiprofetho awukulandelana kwezithombe, imizwa, nemisindo ebonisa okwenzekayo kwekusasa lomphuphi. Amaphupho azoveza izinto ezizokwenzeka esikhathini esizayo. 

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Incazelo Nokuhunyushwa Ngemva Kwamaphupho Avame Kakhulu 

Bathi iphupho lingachazwa lifana nencwadi engavulwa. Ziyingxenye ebalulekile yokwazi kwethu futhi ukuthuthukisa ukuqonda kuzo kungasisiza siqonde kangcono ingqondo yethu. Nakuba amaphupho omuntu ngamunye angahluka kokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe, nokho, kunetimu ezivamile ezihlobene nokuphupha abantu abaye bahlangabezana nazo emhlabeni wonke okungenani kanye ekuphileni kwabo. Sizama ukuhlukanisa ezinye zazo lapha: 

1. Kusho ukuthini uma uphupha i-ex yakho?

Kuzo zonke izinhlobo ezahlukene zamaphupho esiwabonayo, leli lisenza sizibuze ukuthi, “Uma uphupha ngothile, ingabe ucabanga ngawe?” Hhayi-ke, akunjalo. Echaza kabanzi ngencazelo yokuphupha umuntu oshade naye ongasakhulumi naye, uKreena uthi, “Leli phupho lingaba nezincazelo eziningi. ukuphupha nge ex yakho?”, iwukuthi awukakuyeki ukuhlukumezeka okuthile noma ubuhlungu obuhlobene nokuhlukana ngisho noma umyekile umngane wakho wangaphambili.”

Uma ubuza, "Kungani ngiqhubeka ngiphupha nge-ex yami?", Khona-ke impendulo ilele ekuhlukaneni kwakho. Uma ukuhlukana bekukubi futhi ucindezele imizwelo yakho, khona-ke lokhu kungaba esinye sezizathu zokuthi kungani uhlale uphupha nge-ex yakho. Esinye sezizathu zokuthi kungani uphupha i-ex yakho kungaba ukuthi usenayo imizwa ngabo futhi unethemba ngasese lokubuyisana.

2. Ukuphupha ngomaqondana wakho wamanje

UKreena uthi, “Ake sithi uphupha ngomuntu othandana naye okwamanje kodwa kunomuzwa onamandla ongemuhle ogcwele kulo lonke iphupho.

Kodwa-ke, uma unamaphupho amahle ngesoka/intombi yakho, kungokwemvelo ngoba usanda kuqala ukuthandana noma ususothandweni lapho wanelisekile futhi ujabule. 

3. Ukuphupha ngokufa 

Kusho ukuthini uma uphupha umuntu efa? Amaphupho ngokufa angakuphatha kabi. Ungase ube novalo ngokubona othandekayo efa emaphusheni akho. Amaphupho okufa angabonakala njengebika elibi. Nokho, iKreena inikeza incazelo ehlukile yencazelo yamaphupho lapho sibona khona ukufa. Uthi, “Uma uphupha umuntu efa, ngokuvamile kubangelwa ukuthi wesaba ushintsho.

“Kungasho futhi ukuthi ubhekene nesiphetho esithile empilweni yakho, kungaba umsebenzi wakho. izimpawu ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho buyaphela noma ungase ushiye ikhaya lakho futhi uthuthele endaweni entsha.” Ezinye zezincazelo zamaphupho okufa zihlanganisa ukwesaba ukulahlwa noma ukuqonda kwakho okukutshela ukuthi udinga ukuyeka umuntu futhi uqhubeke nempilo yakho.

4. Amaphupho amanzi

Amaphupho amanzi yilapho umuntu enza i-orgasm ebuthongweni bakhe ngenxa yokuhlangenwe nakho okuvusa inkanuko. Bobabili abesilisa nabesifazane banamaphupho amanzi. Uma uphupha ulala nomphathi wakho kusho ukuthi ubathola bekhanga futhi uyabathanda. U-Kreena uthi, “Ungathuki uma uphupha usondelana nomuntu ongashadile naye noma umngane wakho womshado, yingoba nje ukhangwa nguye. 

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5. Phupha ngokushada 

Umshado uyisibopho sokuphila konke. Kungenzeka ukuthi uyaphupha lokhu ngoba uyashada futhi izinhlelo zomshado zibusa indawo yakho yokuqala engu-24×7. Kodwa-ke, uma uphupha ngokushada kodwa ungashadile empilweni yangempela, khona-ke kukhona ithuba lokuthi olunye uhlobo lokuzinikela lubheke kuwe futhi awukakakulungeli.

U-Kreena uthi lezi zinhlobo zamaphupho zifanekisela kakhulu futhi zingabonisa ushintsho olukhulu empilweni yakho. Noma yiluphi ushintsho oluzayo ngakuwe, leli phupho liwuphawu olubonisa ukuthi udinga ukulungela. 

6. Amaphupho ngokukhohlisa umlingani wakho

Nansi into ethokozisayo etholwe ngamaphupho mayelana nokungathembeki: Ocwaningweni olwenziwa nabantu abacela ku-1,000, kutholakale ukuthi u-60% wabesifazane useke waba nocansi. ukuphupha ngokukopela umlingani wabo. Pho, asho ukuthini amaphupho ngokukopela, ikakhulukazi uma wena nomlingani wakho nithandana futhi isisekelo sobudlelwano benu siqinile?

U-Kreena uyaphendula, “Amaphupho awayazi imingcele. Siyazi ukuthi yini engalungile nokuthi yini elungile lapho siphapheme futhi siphapheme. Uma lawo maphupho okukhohlisa engahlanganise lutho nawe ekuphileni kwakho kwangempela futhi uthembekile kumlingani wakho, khona-ke awunakukhathazeka ngakho.”

7. Ukuphupha ushada ne ex yakho 

Kungani ngilokhu ngiphupha i-ex yami ishada? Kungenxa yokuthi kunezinkinga ezingakaxazululwa. Hhayi nge ex yakho kodwa nawe. Mhlawumbe ulwela ukuqhubekela phambili naphezu kokuqeda ubuhlobo. Sebenzisa lawa maphupho njengesikhumbuzo sokuyeka izinto ezingalethi noma ezingangezi ukubaluleka empilweni yakho. 

Ezikhathini ezinjengalezi, awukwazi ukulahlekelwa ubuthongo ngenxa yemicabango efana nokuthi “uma uphupha ngomuntu, ingabe usuke ecabanga ngawe?”. Kudingeka uqhubekele phambili futhi wamukele iqiniso lokuthi i-ex yakho ngeke ibuye futhi udinga ukuqhubekela phambili empilweni. 

8. Ukuphupha isithandwa sasesikoleni esiphakeme 

Uma ungasaxhumani nomuntu obuthandana naye esikoleni esiphakeme kodwa nobabili nithandana kakhulu, lokho kungasho ukuthi niphuthelwe isibopho enake saba nabo. Uma u ukuphupha nge crush yakho noma isithandwa esikoleni esiphakeme, kusho ukuthi uphuthelwa yizinsuku zokunganaki kanye nenkampani yabo. 

UKreena uthi, “Kungokwemvelo ukuzibuza lapho uphupha ngothile, ingabe naye usuke ecabanga ngawe? 

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Uma Uphupha Ngomuntu, Ingabe Ucabanga Ngawe?

Kusho ukuthini uma uphupha ngomuntu omthandayo? Lawa maphupho awukubonakaliswa kwezifiso zakho. Kumane kuyimicabango nemizwelo yakho evezwa kahle ebuthongweni bakho. Ufuna babe yingxenye yempilo yakho. Uma usanda kuqala ukubona umuntu kodwa ungamboni Ukuqomisana kuphela bona futhi bavele emaphusheni akho, kungaba uphawu oluhle lokuthi lo muntu uzoba muhle kuwe nokuthi unezinhloso ezinhle nawe.

Kodwa, uma uphupha ngomuntu, ingabe ucabanga ngawe? UKreena uyaphendula, “Abukho ubufakazi bangempela obusekela le nkolelo-mbono yokuthi lapho uphupha ngothile, usuke ecabanga nangawe.” Kuwuphawu oluvela endaweni yonke olubonisa ukuthi kunebhizinisi elingakaqedwa phakathi kwenu nobabili futhi nidinga ukulixazulula.

Kodwa-ke, uma uqhubeka nokuphupha ngalo muntu futhi kuyiphupho elijabulisayo ngaso sonke isikhathi, maningi amathuba okuthi yena ucabanga kakhulu ngawe kodwa ayisho. Uma sesihlale nomuntu isikhathi eside, sakha isibopho esingachazeki naye. Kuhlala kukhona amandla aqinile phakathi kwe-soulmates namalangabi angamawele. Uma uphupha umuntu othandana naye bese bebuyisela uthando maningi amathuba okuthi uphuphe ngaye ngoba esemqondweni wakho. 

Amaqiniso Ngamaphupho

Manje njengoba sesazi ukuthi kungani siphupha kanye nesizathu samanye amaphupho ajwayelekile, singathanda ukukushiya namaqiniso athakazelisayo ngamaphupho:

• Nakuba ukuphupha kukusiza ekulawuleni nasekucubunguleni imizwa yakho, kungase futhi kusize ubuchopho bakho ekugcineni izinkumbulo 
• Ngokuvumelana ne ucwaningo, abesifazane banamaphupho amabi kakhulu kunabesilisa. Futhi amaphupho awo amabi anamandla ngokomzwelo kunamaphupho amabi amadoda 
• Akulula neze ukuqonda amaphupho akho. Ayikho isayensi ekuqondeni amaphupho. Izinyanga zomoya kanye nababhula ngezinkanyezi bangakwazi ukukukhanyisela ngomfanekiso ofihliwe emaphusheni akho ngokusekelwe empilweni yakho kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho.
• Ungathuthukisa ikhono lakho lokukhumbula amaphupho ngokugcina ijenali 
• Amaphupho awo wonke umuntu ayahluka ngokuya ngesiko lakhe, lapho akhulele khona, amagugu, imicabango, nezinkolelo
• Wonke umuntu emhlabeni uyaphupha. Ngisho nezilwane zibona amaphupho
• Abantu abazalwa bengaboni abakwazi ukuphupha. Nakuba, abantu abalahlekelwa ukubona kamuva ekuphileni banamaphupho. Nokho, izithombe nezindawo kungase kubonakale kuhlukile kubo 
• Ucwaningo kusikisela ukuthi iphunga lingathinta izinga lamaphupho omuntu
• Uhlala unamaphupho amaningi ubusuku ngabunye 

Amaphupho awumfanekiso wesikhathi esidlule, samanje, nokwesaba kwakho kwesikhathi esizayo, ukukhathazeka, injabulo, kanye nezifiso. Ziyinqubo eyinkimbinkimbi futhi eguquguqukayo eqhubekile nokukhuthaza kanye nozungu kusukela ekuqaleni kwesikhathi. Nakuba sithambekele ekufuneni incazelo efihliwe yamaphupho ethu, kungase kube indlela yengqondo yethu yokuxazulula izinkinga nokugcina ulwazi. 

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