Ukukhathazeka Ngokuhlukana Ebudlelwaneni - Kuyini Futhi Ungabhekana Kanjani?

Uma sizwa 'ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana', izingqondo zethu zisiqondisa ngokuzenzakalelayo ebudlelwaneni ingane eyabelana ngayo nomnakekeli wayo. Sikhumbula ukuthi ingane iqala ukukhala kakhulu lapho umnakekeli wayo engabonakali. Kodwa-ke, asijwayelene kakhulu nomqondo uma kuziwa ekukhathazekeni ngokuhlukana ebuhlotsheni. Yebo, likhona futhi awuwedwa uma ubhekene nalo.

Imibhangqwana eminingi ibhekana nokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana. Kuyamangaza ukubona ukuthi kuncane kangakanani ukuqonda esinakho ngakho ngisho noma kuyinto evamile.

Njengendlela eya ekwakheni lokho kuqwashisa, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esinolwazi ngokuhlukumezeka Anushtha Mishra (MSc., Counselling Psychology), ogxile ekuhlinzekeni ngokwelashwa ngezinto ezikhathazayo ezinjengokuhlukumezeka, izinkinga zobudlelwano, ukucindezeleka, ukukhathazeka, usizi, nesizungu phakathi kwabanye, ubhala ngokuthi kuyini ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ebuhlotsheni, izimpawu nezimbangela zako, indlela yokubhekana nakho, nokuthi buthinta kanjani ubuhlobo babantu abadala.

Kuyini Ukukhathazeka Ngokuhlukana Kobudlelwane?

Nakuba ukukhathazeka kuwumuzwa wokwesaba, ukungezwani, nokungakhululeki ngokujwayelekile, ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana yilapho le mizwa ithinta isibalo sokunamathiselwe.

Ake sikuhlehlise kancane lokho. Siyini isibalo sokunamathiselwe? Yinoma yimuphi umuntu othathwa njengendawo yokukhosela umuntu okungenzeka azibone evikelekile kuye. Leso sibalo sokunamathiselwe singaba noma ubani - umnakekeli, othandekayo, noma umlingani wothando.

Ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ebudlelwaneni, empeleni, umuzwa wokwesaba, ukushuba, noma ukungakhululeki ngenxa yokubonwayo, okulindelekile, noma ukwehlukana kwangempela nenani lokunamathiselwe - uzakwethu kulo mongo.

Sonke siyazizwa isizungu ebuhlotsheni uma umlingani wethu engekho. Siyakukhumbula ubuhlakani babo, imfudumalo yabo, ukuhleka kwabo, kanye nendlela abancokola ngayo, kodwa ukukhathazeka ngokwehlukana akuwona nje lowo muzwa wokungakhululeki. Ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ebuhlotsheni yilapho ukucindezeleka kungaphezu kwalokho ongakwazi ukukulawula.

Kungaba umuzwa onzima ukubhekana nawo. Ngezinye izikhathi kungase kudideke ngenxa yokuntula ulwazi mayelana nokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana kwabashadile. Ngakho-ke, masivale leso sikhala futhi sijule ukuze siqonde izimbangela zokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana ebuhlotsheni.

Izimbangela Zokuhlukana Ukukhathazeka Ebudlelwaneni

Yini ebangela ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana nozakwethu? Lo mbuzo kungenzeka ukuthi ubulokhu usabele engqondweni yakho kusukela ekuqaleni kwalesi siqeshana. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi sikulungise lokhu, ngoba uma nje sesizwile ukuthi kungani kukhona okwenzekayo singenza okuthile ngakho.

Kunezici eziningana ezingaholela ekukhathazekeni ngokuhlukana ebuhlotsheni. Kubalulekile nokho ukuqaphela ukuthi ngenxa yokuthi udlule kukho okulandelayo, akusho ukuthi uzoba nokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana. Kusho nje ukuthi unethuba eliphezulu lokuyithuthukisa. Ngaphandle kokuchitha isikhathi, ake sibone ukuthi yiziphi izimbangela ezivame kakhulu zokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana kwabashadile.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: I-Attachment Styles Psychology: Indlela Okhuliswe Ngayo Ithinta Ubudlelwano

1. Okuhlangenwe nakho kwesikhathi esidlule

Akuyona imfihlo ukuthi ulwazi lwethu lunomphumela obalulekile kithi. Ilolonga izinhlelo zethu zokukholelwa kanye nendlela esenza ngayo imicabango yethu. Mhlawumbe kube nesipiliyoni esikhathini esidlule lapho ubudlelwano baphela ngaphandle kwanoma yisiphi isexwayiso noma izimpawu. Mhlawumbe bekunezimpawu zokunganakwa noma ukungqubuzana okuqhubekayo ebudlelwaneni.

Kuyaqondakala kuphela ukuthi kuzoba nokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana lapho uzakwethu ehlale esaba ukuthi uzosala yedwa. Bangase baphile nokungakhululeki kokuhlangenwe nakho okudlule okubakhumbuza ukuthi umlingani wabo angavele avuke ahambe.

Ukulahlekelwa abazali, ukuhlukunyezwa kwezingane nokunganakwa, kanye nesimo sasekhaya esinesiphithiphithi ezinye izici ezimbalwa ezingabangela imizwa yokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana nozakwethu. Sifana nobumba futhi lapho sinokuhlangenwe nakho okwengeziwe, kulapho sibumba ubumba ngaleyo ndlela. Sonke siwukubonakaliswa kokuhlangenwe nakho kwethu futhi ngale ndlela, isipiliyoni esidlule sidlala indima enkulu.

2. Izitayela zokunamathisela esizenzayo ebuntwaneni bethu

Sakha izitayela zethu zokunamathisela phakathi neminyaka yethu yobuntwana. Isisekelo sabo bonke ubudlelwano esibakhayo lapho sesikhulile buvela ebudlelwaneni esihlanganyela nabo nabasinakekelayo sisebancane.

Kubalulekile ukuthi ingane izizwe iphephile futhi ivikelekile kulobo budlelwano. Uma lokhu kuvikeleka ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba kungekho, ngokuvamile kubaholela ekwakheni ukukhathazeka noma isitayela sokunamathisela esingavikelekile.

Lolu hlobo lwesitayela sokunamathisela luvame ukubonakala kumuntu obhekene nokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana ebuhlotsheni. Lokhu kungaqashelwa ngokusobala lapho uzakwenu engavikelekile ngokwedlulele ukuthi umlingani wakhe angase amlahle futhi kuba nzima ukuthemba umlingani wakho uma ethi ngeke.

3. Ukuba nokuzethemba okuphansi

Ukuzethemba kuwumqondo wakho wonke wokuzethemba - ngokuyisisekelo umbono wakho ngawe. Ukuzethemba kunomthelela endleleni ozizwa ngayo ngawe futhi uziphethe ngayo. Iphinde idlale indima enkulu endleleni ovumela ngayo abanye ukuthi bakuphathe.

Ngomqondo ophansi wobumina, kuza ukungazethembi nokukhathazeka okuningi okuyimizwa ejwayele ukuvela uma kukhona ukukhathazeka ngokwehlukana ebudlelwaneni. Lesi isipiliyoni esivame kakhulu intsha edlula kuso ngenkathi ibhekene nokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ebudlelwaneni bentsha. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi namanje abakathuthuki ubunjalo obufanele, futhi ukuzethemba kwabo kuncike ezintweni zangaphandle.

Ukuzethemba okuphansi kuyisici esibalulekile okufanele siqashelwe ngoba ukusebenza kuso endaweni ephephile, njengalokho okunikezwa ukwelashwa, ngeke kusize nje umuntu ekwakheni umuzwa omuhle wobumina kodwa kungasiza nasekubhekaneni nokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana kwabashadile.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Yokunqoba I-Codependency Ebudlelwaneni

4. I-Codependency idala ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ebuhlotsheni

I-Codependency isho ukuthembela ngokweqile ngokomzwelo noma ngokomzimba kumlingani wakho. Lapho kuncika kakhulu kumlingani wakho ukuze athole zonke izidingo zakho ezingokomzwelo nezingokwenyama, kuzoba nemizwa yokukhathazeka ngokweqile nokungakhululeki lapho ehamba noma kulindeleke ukuthi ahambe ngisho nangesikhathi esifushane.

Ubudlelwano obuncikene bungakhungathekisa ngokomzwelo kubo bobabili abalingani njengoba bubandakanya iwebhu ye ubudlelwano obungenampilo amaphethini. Le webhu, ikakhulukazi ebudlelwaneni obuncikene, ihlanganisa imizwa enzima yokungajabuli lapho omunye wozakwethu enza noma yini komunye umuntu ngaphandle komunye. Lokhu kufaka nomuzwa omubi wokungabi nalutho uma ungekho nozakwenu.

I-Codependency kanye nokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana kungase kubonakale kufana ngezindlela ezibonisa ngazo kodwa aziyona into efanayo. Ukukhathazeka ngokwehlukana kuyingxenye yobudlelwano obuncikene ngenkathi ubudlelwano obuncikene buyisambulela esikhulu.

Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi uma unokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ebudlelwaneni, lokho akusho ngokuzenzakalelayo ukuthi ubudlelwano buncike. Kungenzeka noma kungabi njalo.

5. Umlando wanoma yiziphi izinkinga zokukhathazeka

Ukukhathazeka kuwumzwelo ovamile futhi ovame ukuba khona. Ukukhathazeka okuthile kungokwemvelo ngokuphelele futhi nakanjani kwenzeka empilweni yomuntu. Nokho, i-anxiety disorder ihlala njalo futhi iholela ekukhathazekeni okukhulu nokwesaba.

Uma umuntu enomlando wanoma yiziphi izinkinga zokukhathazeka, amathuba ukuthi ukukhathazeka kungase kuthathe uhlobo lokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana ebuhlotsheni. Kufana nesango - ukukhathazeka okukhona kakade kubangela ukukhathazeka okwengeziwe ngaphandle uma kukhona ukungenelela okufika ngesikhathi lapho umuntu ehlola izindlela ezahlukene zokuthola usizo. ukubhekana nokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano.

Izimpawu Zokuhlukana Ukukhathazeka Ebudlelwaneni

Manje njengoba sesinokuqonda okuthile ngezimbangela zokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana ebuhlotsheni, ake sibheke izimpawu zakho. Ngezinye izikhathi, izimpawu zingaba ezicashile kodwa ngezinye izikhathi, zingase zibonakale kakhulu.

Uma uthandana nomuntu onokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana, ngezansi ezinye zezimpawu zokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ongazibheka kumlingani wakho. Uma uzama ukuhlola ukuthi ingabe unokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana noma cha, sithemba ukuthi lokhu kukusiza ekuziqondeni wena kakhudlwana.

1. Izinguquko eziphawulekayo esimweni sengqondo lapho uzakwethu engekho

Lolu wuphawu olusobala olungabonakala lapho umlingani oyedwa ebhekana nokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana. Lapho umlingani wabo ehamba noma kulindeleke ukuthi ahambe, isimo sabo sengqondo sivame ukushintsha kakhulu.

Umoya uyashintsha usuka entukuthelweni uye ekubeni wusizi. Lapho kunokucasuka, kuqubuka imicabango eminingi, njengokuthi “UNGANGISHIYA KANJANI NGEDWA ISIKHATHI ESIDE?” Bese kuba nemicabango ehambisana nokuswela amandla, “Wangishiya ngedwa, manje ngenzenjani?” Bese ekhahlela ngokudabuka, “Ngikhona nginesizungu ebudlelwaneni bami. "

2. Ukukhathazeka ngokweqile ngokulahlekelwa umlingani

Njengoba sixoxile ekuqaleni, ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana kwabashadile kubonakala ukukhathazeka ngokweqile ngokulahlekelwa umlingani wabo. "Kuthiwani uma" ibhaliswe kumagama abo okuzikhulumela.

U-Janice uthi, “Lapho ngikhathazeka kakhulu ngokuhlukana kwami, ingqondo yami iyagabadela. Kuthiwani uma engabuyi? Kuthiwani uma ngishiywe ngedwa? Kuthiwani uma kwenzeka okuthile kuye lapho engekho?” Lena imicabango embalwa ehlala engqondweni yozakwethu obhekene nokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana.

Ukuba nemicabango ephindaphindiwe yokulahlekelwa umlingani wakho kungase kubangele impilo yakho yengqondo, ikakhulukazi uma ubhekene nokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ebudlelwaneni obude. Ama-LDR asevele anzima ngempela kubo bobabili abalingani kodwa uma kukhona isici sokuhlukana kokukhathazeka okukhona phakathi kombhangqwana, kungaba namandla kakhulu.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinkinga Ezingu-18 Zobudlelwano Bamabanga Amade Okufanele Uzazi

3. Ukungafuni ukushiya umlingani noma isikhathi esifushane

Ngokukhathazeka ngokweqile mayelana nokuhamba komlingani wabo, ukuziphatha okungokwemvelo okulandelayo ukuzama ukumisa uzakwethu ukuthi ahambe. Ngeke bafune ukushiya umlingani wabo noma bangafuni ukuvumela umlingani wabo ahambe, ngisho nangesikhathi esifushane.

Ngoba lokhu kuvela ngokuthi ' ukubambelela ebudlelwaneni' noma 'abadingayo', kunezahlulelo eziningi zangaphandle kanye nezingaphakathi ezitholakalayo okwenza konke okuhlangenwe nakho kube nzima nakakhulu kumuntu obhekene nokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana ebudlelwaneni.

4. Ukwesaba okuphikelelayo kokuba wedwa

Ngemuva kwakho konke ukungafuni ukushiya umlingani wabo ngisho nesikhathi esifushane futhi konke ukungavikeleki kuwukwesaba okuyisisekelo kokushiywa, yedwa. Uzakwethu obhekene nokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana ebudlelwaneni uqhutshwa yilokhu kwesaba okungokwemvelo.

Lokhu kwesaba kungasukela kulokho okwenzeka esikhathini esidlule lapho umuntu onokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana ebuhlotsheni anqatshwa noma walahlwa. Lokhu kungashiya uphawu olukhulu ohlelweni lwethu lwezinkolelo olungabe selusitshela ukuthi, “Ukuba wedwa akulungile.” Izophinde ifake ukukhathazeka okusha kobudlelwano ngenkathi sakha ubudlelwano.

Akekho ofuna ukuba yedwa. Sonke sifuna ukuba khona komuntu eduze kwethu ukuze asiduduze lapho sikudinga. Kodwa lapho wonke umqondo wokuba wedwa noma ukude nomlingani wakho ungakuyisa esimweni sokwesaba lapho uzithola usuwohlokile, udinga ukubhekwana nawo.

5. Amaphupho amabi avamile mayelana nokwehlukana okulindelekile noma kwangempela kusuka kuphathina

Amaphupho amabi amaphupho aphazamisayo ahlotshaniswa nemizwa engemihle yokukhathazeka noma ukwesaba okuvame ukukuvusa ebuthongweni bakho. Izimbangela zamaphupho amabi ngokuvamile zingokwengqondo. Zihlanganisa ukukhathazeka, ukuhlukumezeka, isimo sokucindezeleka, nokunye.

Ukwesaba noma ukukhathazeka kokuhamba komlingani wabo kungase kuzizwe kubuthakathaka kumuntu onokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ebuhlotsheni, futhi lokhu kuvame ukuphuma ngendlela yamaphupho amabi. Lokhu kuyinkomba yokuthi umzimba ukhathele ukugijima ngokukhathazeka.

Indlela Yokubhekana Nokukhathazeka Ngokuhlukana Ebudlelwaneni

Ukuba ngumuntu onokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana noma ukuthandana nomuntu onokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana kungaba nakho okumangalisayo. Njengoba sesixoxile kakade, kungase kubangele inqwaba yemizwa esukela ekuphoxekeni kuya entukuthelweni namahloni kubo bobabili abalingani.

Nokho, njengoba kungase kuzwakale kunzima, akusho ukuthi kuyinto ubudlelwano obuphelile. Ziningi izindlela zokubhekana nokubhekana nalokhu ebudlelwaneni futhi silapha ukuze sikusize kulokhu.

Ngezansi kukhona izindlela ezisekelwe ebufakazini zokubhekana nokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana ebuhlotsheni. Ekusebenzeni kwami ​​njengesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esilulekayo, ngizibonile lezi zisebenzela amakhasimende ami, ngakho-ke, nazi ngawe.

1. Yisho futhi wamukele imizwa yakho

Awekho amahloni ngokuqamba nokwamukela indlela ozizwa ngayo ngesimo esithile noma ngomuntu. Njengoba uCarl Jung akubeka ngokuphelele, "Akukho esingakushintshi kuze kube siyakwamukela. Ukulahlwa akukhululi, kuyacindezela."

Zitholele 'isondo lemizwa' futhi ukhombe imizwa oyizwayo. Kungaba intukuthelo, amahloni, amahloni, ukudabuka, noma ukungabi nakuzisiza. Uma usuyazi ukuthi imizwa ikuphi kuwe, yamukele.

Ukwamukela imizwa kusho ukuthi uzivumela ukuthi uzwe imizwa yakho ngalokho eyikho ngaphandle kokwahlulela. Izahlulelo zangaphakathi, njengoCarl Jung ezishilo, aziyona indlela eya enkululekweni, ziyindlela ebheke ekuzicindezeleni.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Eziyi-11 Zokuthuthukisa Ukuxhumana Ebudlelwaneni

2. Xhumana, xhumana, futhi uxhumane

Angikwazi ukugcizelela ngokwanele ukuthi izingxoxo ezithembekile zibaluleke kangakanani ebudlelwaneni. Khuluma nomlingani wakho ngezinto ezikukhathazayo nokwesabayo, khuluma ngendlela ozizwa ngayo lapho ehamba, khuluma ukuthi ubhekana kanjani nakho, nokuthi ufuna bakusekele kanjani ngakho.

Kulungile uma ungenaso isiqiniseko sokuthi ufuna umlingani wakho akweseke, izingxoxo eziqotho zizoniholela ekutholeni lokho ndawonye. Izindlela ezicacile zokuxhumana kuphela qinisa isibopho sakho nomlingani wakho futhi ungakwenzi buthaka.

Futhi, kulungile ukungazi yonke into ngaphambi kokuba uqale ingxoxo, kulungile ukuhlola ndawonye futhi uthole into eyodwa ngesikhathi. Ukuyithatha kancane kulungile futhi lokho okuzwayo kulungile.

3. Shifta ukugxila - usuke kumlingani wakho uye kuwena

Ngokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana, kuhlale kunokukhathazeka nokwesaba mayelana nanoma yiziphi izenzo zomlingani wakho ongeke ukwazi ukuzihlobanisa nazo zikushiya. Ukugxila kwakho ngokuphelele kubo. Kubalulekile ukugudluza lokho kugxila emisebenzini yabo uye kweyakho.

Zitholele izinto othanda ukuzenza, izinto ezikulethela injabulo, izinto ezikwenza umomotheke lokho kumamatheka okuhle. Zijwayeze ukucabanga, qiniseka ukuthi uthola ubuthongo obusezingeni eliphezulu, udle ukudla kwakho ngesikhathi, futhi uvuke futhi ushukumise umzimba. Ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana nozakwenu kungadla konke, zama ukuqondisa kabusha wonke lawo mandla kuwe.

Ukuzinakekela kubaluleke kakhulu ekubhekaneni nanoma yiluphi uhlobo lokukhathazeka, ikakhulukazi ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana. Qaphela imizwa yakho, imicabango yakho, nezenzo zakho. Futhi ungazihluleli. Mhlawumbe uzame ukuzindla kanye? Noma ngisho nokubhala?

4. Funa usizo lochwepheshe

Lapho ukukhathazeka nokwesaba okudlulele kuqala kuthinta ukusebenza kwakho kwansuku zonke, kuwumqondo omuhle ukuya kuchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo. Ochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo baqeqeshelwe ukukuyisa kulolu hambo lokungakhululeki futhi bakuyise kolunye uhlangothi.

Eminyakeni embalwa edlule, lapho uMichael ebhekene nokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana nesoka, waqaphela ukuthi wayedinga usizo njengoba kwase kuqalile ukuphazamisa ubuhlobo babo. Uthi, “Ngangingazi ukuthi engangibhekene nakho kwakuwukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana nesoka. Ngangicabanga ukuthi ngingumuntu omubi ngokufuna ukuhlala ngiseduze nomlingani wami ngaso sonke isikhathi, nokuthi ngangisabela ngokweqile noma nini lapho ngicabanga ukuthi uzongishiya. Umelaphi wami wangisiza ukuba ngiqonde ukuthi le micabango yayivelaphi nokuthi ngingayilawula kanjani.”

Ngisho noma ukukhathazeka kungakaqali ukuba nomthelela ekusebenzeni kwakho, kodwa udinga usizo lokuyizulazula, finyelela ku-MHP. Ukucela usizo kuwuphawu lwamandla, futhi unawo lawo mandla - sonke sinawo.

5. Yiba nomusa futhi ube nobubele kuwena

Uma uziphatha ngomusa nangozwelo, kukwenza ube maningi amathuba okuba uzixolele futhi uvula indlela yokukhula. Ngale ndlela, ufunda futhi uguquke ube ubuwena obuhle kakhulu. Ukuba nomusa kuwe nokufunda ukuthi uzithande kanjani akuyona into ewubukhazikhazi, iyisidingo.

Ungaba nomusa kuwe ngokusebenzisa ithoni yezwi enomusa ngenkathi ukhuluma nawe noma ukhuluma wedwa. Kodwa kungaphezu kwalokho. Kumayelana nokuba nomusa endleleni umzimba wakho oveza ngayo imizwa yakho ecindezelayo noma ecindezelayo bese ududuza umzimba wakho ngalokho.

Lapho sibhekana nokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ebuhlotsheni, sizahlulela kakhulu futhi ngandlela-thile sisola imizwa yethu ngendlela izinto ezihamba ngayo. Ezikhathini ezinjalo, uma uziphatha kabi, zikhumbuze ukuba nomusa.

Ukuthi Ukukhathazeka Ngokuhlukana Kubuthinta Kanjani Ubudlelwano Babantu Abadala

Ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana, uma kuyekwa kungalungiswanga, kungabangela ukungezwani okukhulu ebuhlotsheni babantu abadala. UDylan uthi, “Ukube ngangazi eminyakeni eyishumi edlule engikwaziyo manje, ngabe ngizisindise emiphumeleni emibi kakhulu yokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana ebuhlotsheni bentsha enganginabo.”

Kubalulekile ukukhomba ukuthi yiziphi izici zobudlelwano ezithintekayo ukuze uqale ukusebenza kuzo. Kunezidingo ezingokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni lokho kufanele kuxazululwe kodwa uma kunokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ebudlelwaneni, kuba okubaluleke nakakhulu kubo bobabili abalingani ukwenza imizamo yokusebenzelana nokukhathazeka njengoba kuba nomthelela omkhulu ebuhlotsheni, uma kushiywe kungacatshangwa.

Ngezansi izindlela ezimbalwa kweziningi lapho ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana kuba nomthelela ebudlelwaneni babantu abadala.

1. Kuthinta impilo yemizwa yabo bobabili abalingani

Sixoxile ngaphambi kobunzima bomzwelo umuntu obhekene nokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ebudlelwaneni adlula kukho. Isimo sishintsha kakhulu, uyakhumbula? Kodwa akuyena nje umlingani obhekene nokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana odlula kuleso siyaluyalu, ukusha okuningi kuthathwa omunye umlingani futhi.

Lokhu kungase kuthinte impilo yengqondo yabo bobabili abalingani. Lokhu kungase kubangele imizwa yokucindezeleka kulowo obona ukuthi umlingani wakhe okhathazekile akakwazi ukubhekana nokukhathazeka nokungazethembi kwakhe.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ubhekana Kanjani Nomaqondana Okwenza Uzizwe Ungalondekile

2. Kungenza ozakwethu baqhelelane

Kwesinye isikhathi, ukukhathazeka ngokwehlukana ebudlelwaneni kubangela abalingani bahlukane, ikakhulukazi uma kungekho ukuxhumana phakathi kwabo mayelana okufanayo. Ukuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo bobabili ozakwethu ababhekana nakho kungesinye sezizathu ezinkulu zalokhu, kanye nokuhlukaniswa okulethwa ukuntula ukuxhumana okulethwa nakho.

Uthembekile ukuxhumana kubalulekile ngoba kusiza ukuhlanganisa bobabili abalingani, ikakhulukazi uma bebhekene nokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ebuhlotsheni bebanga elide. Ukusebenzisana ngokomzimba sekuvele kuphansi, ngakho-ke, ukuxhumana ngamazwi kudinga ukwethembeka nokwanelisayo.

3. Kungase kubangele ukungazethembi

Ukudluliswa kwemizwa. Cabanga uma umlingani wakho ekhathazekile futhi engavikelekile ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho uhamba noma udinga indawo yakho. Kungase kukukhungathekise, futhi amathuba okuthi uthuthukise lokho kungaqiniseki maningi futhi.

Okuwukuphela kwendlela yokunciphisa ukungavikeleki kwabo bobabili abalingani ukuxhumana nezingxoxo ezithembekile. Khulumisanani ngangokunokwenzeka. Uma uzwa sengathi ingxoxo ayiyi ndawo, thatha isikhathi bese uqala lapho ogcine khona, kodwa khuluma ngemizwa yakho ngenhlonipho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwenzekani.

4. Kungase kubangele ukungathembeki ebudlelwaneni

Kungokwemvelo ukuthi ukwesaba ngokweqile ukushiywa yedwa umlingani wakho kungaholela izindaba zokuthembela ebudlelwaneni. Ukungavikeleki okweqile akulungile kunoma yibuphi ubudlelwano ngezizathu ezisobala. Kuthinta impilo yengqondo yozakwethu othandiweyo wakhe obhekene nokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana, futhi kungadala ukuntula ukusondelana nokwethembana.

Lokhu kwenzeka ikakhulukazi lapho kukhona ukuntuleka kokuxhumana futhi ukukhathazeka kungabhekwa. Uma uthola ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho sebuqala ukuntula ukwethembana, xhumana nesistimu yakho yokwesekwa noma umeluleki ukuze uthole usizo.

5. Kwakha isimo esingesihle sobudlelwano

Ukungazethembi nokukhathazeka kubangela ukungezwani okuphelele ebudlelwaneni. Lokhu kudala isimo esingesihle neze ukuze ubudlelwano bukhule. Ukukhathazeka kungase kuvele njengokunamathela noma ukulawula kakhulu, futhi lokhu kungase kunikeze ngisho nokungathembeki futhi ulele ebudlelwaneni.

Ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ebuhlotsheni, uma kungalungiswanga, kungaba nomthelela omubi kusibopho. Ukugwema lokho, kubalulekile ukuthi sihlole ozakwethu njalo ukuze sibone ukuthi kwenzakalani ngabo.

Uma wena noma othile omaziyo ebhekene nokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ebudlelwaneni, kubalulekile ukuba nomusa nobubele futhi unikeze ukusekelwa ngokumcela ukuthi afinyelele kuchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo. Lokhu kwenzelwa ukuthi bangabi yodwa ohlelweni lokubhekana nokukhathazeka.

Ukukhathazeka ngokwehlukana ebudlelwaneni kungaqeda amandla futhi kungase kubonakale kuyisiphetho - cishe kube sengathi akukho ukuhlehla lapho. Kodwa qiniseka ukuthi lokhu akufanele kube njalo. Ngomzamo othile wokubambisana nokuxhumana okungaguquki, izinto zingashintsha zibe ngcono futhi zingenza ubudlelwano benu buqine.

Ukuhlukana nomlingani wakho akukuhle kangako. Kodwa ibanga akufanele libe libi kangako. Ungakwazi ukutshala leso sikhathi kude nomlingani wakho kuwe. Ukuze uthole ubuhlobo obunempilo, ukuzinakekela kubaluleke njengokunakekela umlingani wakho.

Ukukhuluma nomelaphi noma ukufinyelela umngane omethembayo noma ilungu lomndeni kungenza umehluko omkhulu ekubhekaneni nokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana ebuhlotsheni.

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

Izinhlobo Eziyisi-7 Zokungavikeleki Ebudlelwaneni, nokuthi Zingakuthinta Kanjani

Izindlela Eziyi-9 Zokubhekana Nokukhathazeka Ngobudlelwano - Amathiphu Avela Kochwepheshe

Izindlela Ezingu-9 Zochwepheshe Zokuyeka Ubuhlungu Nokukhaphela Ebudlelwaneni

Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.