U: Umyeni wami uthandana nodadewethu ohlukanisile ongenazo izinkinga, owayenomshado omubi weminyaka eyi-12. Uhlala kwelinye idolobha ngenxa yomsebenzi. Ngiyamthanda umyeni wami futhi uyangithanda mina nezingane zethu ezintathu, wenze konke okulungile selokhu sashada. Ungikhuthaze ukuthi ngiqhubeke nezifundo zami futhi usebenza kanzima ukuze senze impilo yethu ibe ntofontofo.
Ngibe nenkulumo evulelekile nomyeni wami futhi uthi angizange ngimnake ngokwanele ngesikhathi somshado wethu weminyaka engu-15 yingakho awela udadewethu. Akafuni ukungishiya nezingane zami futhi akakwazi ukudlula kuye. Udadewethu kuyacaca ukuthi wonile futhi useqhubekele phambili, uthi wazitika ngoba efuna ukudlula emshadweni wakhe wangaphambili. Manje abazali bethu bafuna umdlalo ofanelekayo wokuphinde ashade ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka.
Ngihlola ocingweni lomyeni wami kanye nama-imeyili futhi ngathola ukuthi basakhuluma. Ngesaba ukuthi umyeni wami angangishiya nezingane zethu ashade nodadewethu uma ngibashiya bodwa noma angase amgcine njengenkosikazi, njengoba nginomuzwa wokuthi uzibophezele.
Ngithola imijikelezo yokuphazama nokuhlanya ngenxa yakho konke lokhu. Ingabe ngiyamvumela umyeni wami nodadewethu baqhubeke bekhuluma noma bexoxa? Ingabe kufanele ngingakunaki ukuxoxisana kwabo njengesenzakalo sesikhathi esisodwa noma kufanele ngibakhuze kakhulu bobabili noma kufanele ngikubikele abadala noma kufanele ngithathe isinyathelo somthetho?
A: Ngingacabanga ukuthi kumelwe ukuba kwaba yinto eshaqisayo kangakanani kuwe ukuthola ulwazi ngalolu daba, futhi kungekho omunye ngaphandle kukadadewenu! Kodwa ngiyajabula ukuthi okungenani wena nomyeni wakho nodadewenu nibe nenhliziyo evulekile ngaso sonke isimo futhi ukuma kwawo wonke umuntu kucacile. Ngisho noma umyeni wakho eqinisekisile ukuthi akanazo izinhlelo zokukushiya wena nezingane zakho, angikusoli ngokumhlola nangokuba nokungabaza, kuyimvelo yomuntu.
Konke ngedivosi
Kodwa ngifuna ukuletha isaziso sakho kumsuka wenkinga, hhayi imiphumela. Futhi ngeshwa, njengamanje uzama ukulawula umonakalo emiphumeleni yangemva yenkinga yangempela kunokuba usebenzele udaba lwangempela - umshado wakho WETHU. Khumbula ukuthi wathi uzizwa enganakiwe yingakho edonseka kuye? Ngiyazi ukuthi mhlawumbe bekuzwakala njengezaba ezilula kuwe ngaleso sikhathi, kodwa kubo bonke, niyazi ukuthi kungase kube iqiniso. Njengoba nje abesifazane bedinga ukuzizwa bethandana, betotoswa futhi befiswa ebuhlotsheni bothando, ngokufanayo namadoda futhi kaningi, emshadweni, siyakhohlwa lokho futhi siqale ukubheka abayeni bethu njengabahlinzeki bomndeni kanye nobaba wezingane zethu kuyilapho sithatha amalungelo afanayo obunikazi / umhawu njengomlingani wothando. Awu, qagelani? Lokho akusebenzi.
Uma ufuna ukuthi abe ngowakho kufanele umenze azizwe sengathi uyamkhathalela, hhayi nje ngendlela yothando, nangendlela yothando. Ngakho-ke engingakusikisela ukuthi, susa ingqondo yakho ekuhloleni amafoni akhe futhi ugcine amathebhu ekukhulumisaneni kwabo futhi esikhundleni salokho ubuyisele ukugxila emshadweni wakho. Xhumana naye, ukhohlwe ukuthi uxhuma nobani. Thola ukuthi ziyini izidingo zakhe futhi uzifeze, umenze azizwe efunwa futhi uzobona ukuthi zonke ezinye izithikamezo zizovele ziphele ngoba ekujuleni kwendoda ekufunayo ukuzizwa esondelene nalowo amthandayo futhi lapho engakutholi lokho, uvala leso sikhala nabanye.
Izizathu ezi-5 zokuthi kungani ukujola kwabantu ngaphandle komshado sekuvuleleke kakhudlwana manje
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
Impendulo ende ibekezelelwa ubudlwangudlwangu bakhe futhi impendulo emfushane ithi isehlukaniso bese uqeda ngaye. Waqhatha, ngoba engumuntu wesifazane, dlala yonke leya ngquza yothando lukaplatonic, kubi nje ukuthethelela isithembu noma isithembu nayo yonke inhlobo yesithembu. Awuzange uvume sororate umshado, uma ufuna lokho, lokho bekufanele kukhulunywe kusukela ekuqaleni futhi uma washintsha umqondo wakhe ke wayedinga ukuxhumana angabi konke okwenzayo futhi uzama ukudlala jetty tricks engqondweni yakho futhi usebenzisa manipulate imizwelo ukuze athethelele ukuthi kungani enze lokho, cha yena CHEATED. Uma umshado wakho uzibophezele ngakho wephula isivumelwano sakhe futhi udinga ukushiya imbongolo yakhe eyaxolisa.