Te Whakapānga Hononga Tuwhera: He aha te mea, me te take e whai hua ai

I tēnei ao whanaungatanga e whanake haere ana i ēnei rā, he maha ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e awhi ana i ngā huarahi hou hei hono atu, hei tipu ake hoki. Ko te whakaipoipo tuwhera tētahi o aua huarahi, e tuku ana i te herekoretanga ki ngā hoa ki te tūhura i ētahi atu hononga aroha, hononga moepuku rānei, me te pupuri tonu i te hononga pumau. Ehara i te mea he herekore mō te katoa, engari he pūtake kei runga i te whakawhirinaki, te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, me te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi. Ehara tēnei i te mea mō te katoa, engari mō te hunga e pai ana te urutau, ka taea te whakarerekē. 

Whakaarohia tēnei hei whakarite i tō whanaungatanga kia rite ki ō hiahia me ō wawata ahurei, me te wehe atu i ngā tauira tuku iho. Hei mārama ake, i kōrero mātou ki tētahi tohunga hinengaro me te kaiwhakaora whanonga hinengaro o California, a Tākuta Shefali Batra (MD i roto i te hinengaro), he tohunga ki te tohutohu mō te wehenga me te whakarere, te wehenga me te whakaipoipo, me ngā take hototahi i mua i te marena. Nō reira, ahakoa kei te hiahia koe ki te mōhio ki ngā whanaungatanga kore-takitahi, kei te rite rānei koe ki te tūhura i te whakaipoipo tuwhera, kei a mātou ngā whakautu!

He aha te whanaungatanga tuwhera?

Ko te whanaungatanga tuwhera he whakaritenga whakaae e whakaae ana ngā hoa e rua ki te whakauru i ngā hononga aroha, i ngā hononga moepuku rānei i waho o tō rāua hononga matua. Kāore i rite ki te tinihanga, e pakaru ai te whakawhirinaki, ko te whakaipoipo tuwhera e whakanui ana i te pono me te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera . E whakamārama ana a Tākuta Batra, "Whakaarohia he rite ki te ohaurunga Netflix—e pai ana kōrua ki ngā whakaaturanga maha, engari ka hoki tonu kōrua ki te tūru kotahi. Ko te whakaipoipo tuwhera ehara i te mea mō te whakakapi i tō hoa engari mō te tāpiri i ngā paparanga o te wheako, te hononga, me te māramatanga." Mō te hunga e pātai ana "He aha te tikanga o te noho i roto i te whanaungatanga tuwhera?," ko te whakataurite i te tūhuratanga me te whakapau kaha.

Ko te pūtake o te whanaungatanga tuwhera he mea hanga i runga i ngā whakaaetanga rerekē i waenga i te tokorua. Tērā pea ka pai ake ki ētahi te noho motuhake o te ngākau, engari ka taea te tūhura tinana, ko ētahi ia ka awhi i ngā hononga kare ā-roto ki ētahi atu. Ko te mea nui ko te mārama ki ngā hiahia o tētahi ki tētahi, me te waihanga i tētahi hanganga e ahua pono ana. Mō te hunga hou ki te whakaipoipo kore-mono-wahine, he mea nui te māramatanga me te manawanui kia kore ai e mārama ngā whakaaro.

He aha te whai huatanga o ngā whanaungatanga tuwhera: 7 ngā painga e oatihia ana e te tangata

Ki te tika te mahi, ka taea e ngā whanaungatanga tuwhera te whakarerekē i te huarahi e hono ai ngā tāne me ngā wāhine, ka waihanga i tētahi hihiri e hanga ana i te whakawhirinaki , te tūhura, me te mana motuhake. Mā te whakarato i tētahi wāhi hei tipu ake i te takitahi me te tāne me te wāhine, ka tukuna e ēnei whakaritenga he painga ahurei e uaua ana ki te whakatutuki i roto i ngā horopaki tuku iho. Mai i te whakarei ake i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ki te whakaiti i te pēhanga, he hohonu, he rerekē hoki ngā painga o ngā whanaungatanga kore-takitahi. Me tūhura tātou he aha te take e kitea ai e te tini o te tangata he tino whai hua te whakaipoipo tuwhera.

1. Te whakaiti i te pēhanga

E kī ana a Tākuta Batra, "I roto i te whakaipoipo kore-takitahi, kāore he hoa kotahi e tumanakohia ana kia whakatutuki i ngā hiahia katoa o te whanaungatanga ā-hinengaro me te whanaungatanga ā-tinana . Mā tēnei ka puta he whanaungatanga hauora ake." Mā te hora i ēnei kawenga puta noa i ngā hononga maha, ka taea e te tangata te pārekareka ki te oranga taurite me te whai hua.

2. Te tipu o te kare ā-roto

Mā te whakawhitiwhiti i ngā wheako ka whakatairanga i te ngoikore me te whanaketanga whaiaro. Ko te whakatere i ngā kare ā-roto pēnei i te hae, te koretake rānei, ka ako i ngā akoranga nui mō te mōhio ki a ia anō me te aroha. Hei tauira, tirohia te kōrero a tēnei kaiwhakamahi Reddit mō tā rātou wheako ki te kore-monokamu, "Kei roto ahau i tētahi whanaungatanga monokamu i tēnei wā engari i mua i tēnei, kāore au i te monokamu. Nā tēnei i akiaki ahau ki te tautuhi me te mahi i aku ake koretake, me te pai ake o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero. He maha ngā mea i akohia e au mōku ake me taku e hiahia ana/e matea ana i roto i ngā whanaungatanga rerekē ."

3. Whakanuia te whakawhitiwhiti korero

Ko te whakaipoipo tuwhera me kōrero tonu mō ngā kare ā-roto, ngā rohe, me ngā tumanakohanga, e whakapakari ana i te whakawhirinaki. Ka ako ngā hoa ki te whakapuaki i ō rātou kare ā-roto me te tuwhera, ka huri i ngā pakanga pea hei whai wāhitanga mō te tipu me te māramatanga.

4. Te tūhuratanga me te kore hara

Mā te whakaipoipo i tētahi i roto i tētahi hononga tuwhera ka taea e ngā hoa e rua te tūhura i ngā hononga hou me te kore e tinihanga. Mā tēnei herekoretanga ka nui ake te ngākau māhaki, ā, ka ārai i ngā kare ā-roto o te noho pūmau i roto i te hononga tuatahi.

Te pānui e pā ana

5. Te hononga whakapakari

He mea whakamiharo, ko te whakatere i ngā ture whanaungatanga tuwhera ka tata ake ngā tāne me ngā wāhine . Ko te whakawhitiwhiti wheako me te kōrero tuwhera mō ngā rohe ka whakatairanga i te whanaungatanga hohonu me te whakawhirinaki.

6. Ngā wheako kanorau

Mā te whakaipoipo kore-takitahi ka taea te whānuitanga o ngā taunekeneke, ka whakarei ake i te oranga pāpori me te oranga aroha o te tangata. Ka puta mai he tirohanga hou, he whakahihiri, me ngā whai wāhitanga tipu i te tūtaki ki ngā tāngata hou. E ai ki tā tēnei kaiwhakamahi Reddit , "He mea ngahau, he mea whakahihiri hoki te whai hoa aroha hou, ā, ka taea e tēnā te tāpiri i te kaha pai ki tō whanaungatanga o nāianei."

7. Te herekoretanga me te mana motuhake

Mā te whakaipoipo tuwhera ka taea e ngā tāngata te pupuri i te mana motuhake me te whai wāhi atu ki tētahi whanaungatanga pumau . Mā tēnei taurite i waenga i te takitahi me te noho tahi ka whakapakari i te harikoa whaiaro me te harikoa tiritiri. Mā tēnei ka whakatauhia hoki ngā raruraru kore hototahi ā-ira i waenga i te tokorua, e ai ki tā tēnei kaiwhakamahi Reddit i whakarārangi ,

• He āhuatanga tō te Hoa A. Kāore e taea e te Hoa B te whai wāhi atu, kāore rānei e hiahia ana ki te whai wāhi atu, nō reira kei a Hoa A te mana ki te whai wāhi atu me ētahi atu.
• Kāore rānei a A i te hiahia ki te moepuku, ā, kāore e pai ki te moepuku i te nui o te hiahia o B (mēnā he hiahia) kia taea ai e B te whakatutuki i ō rātou hiahia i tētahi atu wāhi.
• He momotu rite rānei, kāore he ā-ira tangata engari he rerekētanga nui i roto i te hiahia moepuku
• He mate hauora rānei e ārai ana i te hoa ki te moe tāne
• "Mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua roa e noho tahi ana, ka taea hoki e ia te whakaiti i te hoha o tētahi ki tētahi."

He tika te whanaungatanga tuwhera māu? Ngā mea hei whakaaroaro

Ehara ngā whanaungatanga tuwhera i te otinga kotahi mō te katoa. Me āta whakaaroaro me te mōhio ki a koe anō kia rite ai ki ō uara whaiaro me ō whāinga whanaungatanga . E kī ana a Tākuta Batra, "I mua i te tīmatanga o tēnei ara, he mea nui kia arotakehia tō rite o ngā kare ā-roto, ō pūkenga kōrero, me tō kaha ki te whakahaere i te hae. Ko te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga tuwhera ko te whakatere i ngā wai kāore anō kia kitea, me te pupuri tonu i te pono me te whakawhirinaki ki tō hoa." Ki te hiahia koe ki te mōhio, anei ētahi āhuatanga me whakaaro koe hei whakatau mēnā he pai tēnei momo noho mōu.

1. Te whakamarie me te ngoikore: Me awhi koe i te pono me te tuwhera mō ō kare ā-roto. Kei roto i tēnei ko te whakapuaki i ngā mataku, ngā āwangawanga, me ngā hiahia me te kore whakahē.
2. Ngā pūkenga whakawhiti kōreroKāore e taea te whiriwhiri i ngā kōrero mārama, auau hoki. Me whakaae ngā hoa ki te whai wāhi ki ngā kōrero pono, engari i ētahi wā he uaua ki te kōrero, kia mārama ai te katoa.
3. Te pakū o te whatumanawaHe mea nui te whakahaere i te hae. He mea nui te māramatanga pakari o te whakaaro nui ki a ia anō me te whakapono ki a ia anō hei whakatere i ngā uauatanga o te whakaipoipo tuwhera.
4. Nga uara kua tohatohaMe whakaae tahi ngā hoa e rua ki ngā mea e whakaaetia ana. Mā ngā tumanakohanga hē ka arahi pea ki ngā māramatanga kore me ngā taupatupatu, nō reira he mea nui te whakatakoto whāinga tahi.
5. whakahaere wāMe whakapau kaha te whakataurite i ngā hononga maha. He pūkenga me whakawhanake te whakarite i te wā kounga mō ngā whanaungatanga katoa.
6. Te whakaute i ngā ture: Nga ture hononga tuwhera me whakaae, me whai hoki. Mā ēnei aratohu ka waihangahia he anga hei pupuri i te whanaungatanga kia pumau, kia whakaute hoki
7. Te mohio ki nga raruraruKia rite ki te whakatere i ngā wero me te pakeketanga. He mōrearea kei ia whanaungatanga, engari me nui ake te manaaki me te ngāwari ki te urutau i ngā whanaungatanga tuwhera.

Me pēhea te whakatere i te whakaipoipo whanaungatanga tuwhera

Ko te angitu o te whakatere i te whakaipoipo tuwhera he nui atu i te hinengaro tuwhera anake—engari me whakapau kaha, me mārama, me whakapau kaha ki te māramatanga. Ka taea e ngā whanaungatanga tuwhera te tupu pai ina rite ngā hoa e rua ki ngā rohe me ngā tumanakohanga, ka waihanga i tētahi anga e taea ai te tūhura me te kore e whakararu i te whakawhirinaki. Whakaarohia he whakatakoto ture mō tētahi haerenga ahurei me te whaiaro, e whakaae ana ngā hoa e rua ki te huarahi e haere tonu ai. Kei roto i tēnei tukanga he whakawhitiwhiti kōrero mārama, he whakaute tetahi ki tetahi , me te hiahia ki te urutau i te whanaketanga o te whanaungatanga. Mena kei te whakaaro koe ki tēnei momo noho, anei ētahi mahi whaihua me ngā tohutohu mō te whai whanaungatanga tuwhera.

1. Whakaritea nga rohenga marama 

Tautuhia he aha ngā mea e whakaaetia ana, me ngā mea kāore e whakaaetia. Kei roto i tēnei ko te matapaki i ngā herenga kare ā-roto, ngā hononga ā-tinana, me ētahi atu āhuatanga pea. Anei ētahi o ngā pātai hei tīmatanga māu e ai ki tā Tākuta Batra i tohutohu:

• He herenga kei reira mō te hunga ka taea e koe te haere tahi me rātou?
• Me hanga noa iho ngā hononga tuarua ki te tinana, kāore rānei he wāhi hei ngā rā tūao me te noho tahi whānui?
• Ka taea e koe te kawe mai i ētahi atu hoa mahi ki tō kāinga, kāore rānei?
• E hia ngā kōrero ka tohaina e kōrua mō ō hononga tuarua?

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2. Whakawhitiwhiti korero i nga wa katoa

Whakaritea he wā tirotiro hei matapaki i ngā kare ā-roto me ngā wheako. Ko te auau o te kōrero kei runga i ō whakaaro. Ka taea e kōrua te whakatau kia kōrero i ia wā ka kite kōrua i tētahi hoa hou, ka taea rānei te whakarite kia noho hei kaupapa o ia marama. Ahakoa te whakaritenga, mā ēnei kōrero ka noho tahi ngā hoa e rua, ā, ka whai wāhi hoki ki te aro atu ki ngā āwangawanga katoa.

3. Whakatairangahia te haumaru

Whakamahia ngā taupānga whakaipoipo mō ngā whanaungatanga tuwhera hei kimi i ngā tāngata whai whakaaro ōrite, hei mahi hoki i te moe haumaru. Kei roto i tēnei ko:

• Te whakamahi tiaki
• Te tirotiro pinepine mō ngā mate tuku iho
• Me te tirotiro anō hoki i ō hoa rangatira, ki te taea

4. Whakautehia ngā kare ā-roto o tō hoa

E kī ana a Tākuta Batra, "Kia aroha, kia hiahia hoki ki te whakarerekē, inā koa mēnā koinei te wā tuatahi ka whakamātau koe me tō hoa ki te whakaipoipo tuwhera." Ka rerekē pea ngā kare ā-roto i roto i te wā, ā, ka hiahia pea rātou ki te huri i ngā rohe, ki te kati anō rānei i te whanaungatanga. Kia tuwhera ki te whakarongo ki a rātou, ā, kia tae atu ki tētahi whakatau ngātahi.

5. Kia mau tonu ki te tipu

Whakaarohia ngā wero hei huarahi mō te māramatanga hohonu. Pērā i ngā whanaungatanga katoa, he piki me he heke te wā e haere tahi ana me te whakaipoipo tuwhera, ahakoa te maha o ngā rohe i whakatakotoria e koe i mua. He haerenga e hiahia ana ki te manawanui, te ngāwari, me te tautoko tahi.

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Thoughts Final

He huarahi ahurei te whakaipoipo tuwhera ki te wheako i te aroha me te hononga. Mā te mārama ki te tikanga o te whanaungatanga tuwhera, te piri ki ngā ture whanaungatanga tuwhera, me te whakatere i ngā whanaungatanga kore-takitahi me te atawhai, ka taea e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine te waihanga i tētahi hihiri e pai ana mō rātou. Mō te hunga e tūhura ana me pēhea te whai whanaungatanga tuwhera, kia mahara he tukanga ako tonu me te urutau. Ehara te whakaipoipo tuwhera i te whakakapi i ngā whanaungatanga tuku iho engari ko te whakawhānui ake i ngā āheinga o te hononga.

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