I moe ahau i te 22 o ōku tau i te tau 1992, he whaea nō ngā tama tokorua ataahua i muri tata mai, i ahau e noho ana hei wahine, i akona tonutia ahau kia noho hei wahine ngohengohe, hei hunaonga wahine. I roto i ngā tau, i ako ahau ko te noho hei wahine tino pai ko te whakaae kia whakaititia ahau e ōku hungawai, kia tukinotia ahau e taku tāne i te tinana me te hinengaro, me te manawanui ki ngā marutanga, te mamae me te patunga tapu i roto i te marena mō ngā tekau tau neke atu i te rua tekau.
Ka taea rānei e te tāne nanakia te huri?
Ka taea e ngā kaitukino te huri? Mō ngā tau, i pupuri tonu ahau i te tumanako ka taea e rātou te huri.
I aroha nui ahau ki a ia. I roto taku tāne i te ope taua hokohoko, ā, e ono noa ngā marama e noho ana ia ki te kāinga i roto i te tau. I muri i tā māua marena, i tana haerenga atu, i tumanakohia māku anake e mahi ngā mahi o te whare, ā, i tino riri ahau mō te iti rawa o taku he. I te whakaroa i te parakuihi mō te rima meneti, i te takai rānei i ngā kākahu maroke, ka tūtaki ahau ki ngā whakahē me ngā tawai a ōku hungawai.
I mua i te wehenga atu, i kī mai taku tāne kia haere tonu taku ako, ā, i pērā tonu taku mahi. Engari i tōna hokinga mai i tana haerenga, i kite ahau i tōna taha tūturu. I papaki ia i ahau i muri i tana rongonga i tana whānau e kī ana ki a ia mō taku whakarihariha ki a rātou. I tukinotia ahau e ia mō ngā hāora, ā, i muri iho ka tumanakohia ahau kia noho noa, kia waiho hoki māna me tōna whānau hei kai tino pai mā rātou. I te roanga o te wā, ka kaha haere te tukino. I huri ngā papaki ki ngā whiu, ki ngā whiu, ki te whiunga ki te rākau hōkī.
I inoi ahau, i tumanako hoki kia huri ia nā te mea kāore he wāhi hei haere māku, ā, kāore he māia i mahue ki te mahi i tetahi mea māku ake. Engari ka taea e ngā tāne tukino te huri? E whakapono ana ahau ināianei kei roto i ō rātou toto te tutu, te kore aroha.
Kāore tōku tungāne i pai ki te āwhina i ahau, ā, tokorua atu ā tōku whaea, he pouaru, hei tiaki. I whakaae ahau ko tōku ao tūturu tēnei hei mutunga mōku, ā, i haere tonu ahau ki te ora i roto i te whakamātautau, i ia rā, i ia rā.
He Pānui e Pā Ana: He wahine mahi ki te ao, i whiua ia ki te kāinga
Kāore te tūnga matua i whakamarie i a ia
I whānau mai tā māua tama i te tau 1994. I tino harikoa ahau. I whakaaro ahau mā te pāpā ia e whakarerekē, e whakangawari. I hē ahau. Ka taea e ngā tāne tukino te whakarerekē? Ki taku whakaaro kua haurangi rawa rātou i te mana, kāore e aro ki tēnā. Nō reira, me te mea kua kitea e taku tāne tētahi atu patunga, ā, ka tahuri ki te tukino tamariki.
I te wā i kore ai e taea te whakamanawanui i te tutu ki taku tama, ka mutu taku whakaaro "Ka taea e ngā kaitukino te huri?", ā, ka tūpato ahau. Me pēhea rā e taea ai e au te tuku i a ia kia whara i tētahi mea tino nui ki ahau?
I rerekē taku tirohanga ki tōku āhuatanga. Engari i te tangi me te aue i mua i a ia i muri i tana tukino i ahau, ka tīmata ahau ki te kuhu i ahau anō me te whakapau i te wā ki ahau anō. Ka tīmata ahau ki te pānui me te tuhituhi, ā, ka kitea he whakamarie i roto i taua mea, kaua ki te arotahi me te whakaaro, "Ka taea e te tangata tukino te huri?" i ngā wā katoa.
Ka huri rānei ngā tāngata tukino? Mā wai e mōhio? Engari e kore rawa ahau e wareware i taua rā i te tau 2013 i tana whiunga i taku tama matamua kia kore ai ia e mōhio. Ae, i tukinotia anō hoki ahau, engari me i mate taku tama i taua rā. Me te mea he wawaotanga atua i taku rongonga i tētahi reo e kī mai ana ki ahau, "Kāti rā."
I puta puku atu ahau i te whare, ā, i ngana ahau ki te tuku tono FIR, engari kāore i angitu. I hoki mai ahau i te teihana pirihimana me te nama waea i tōku ringaringa. I waea atu ahau ki te NGO, me te tono āwhina. Kāore he tirohanga whakamuri. Kua oti i ahau taku whakatau. Ka taea e ngā kaipahua te huri? Āe, i tatari roa ahau kia kitea, ā, ināianei kua whakapono ahau kua tae ki te wā ki te whawhai whakahoki.
Ahakoa te kore tautoko mai i tōku whānau, i tukuna e au he keehi ki taku tāne me tōna whānau. Tērā pea ka hoki whakamuri rātou. Engari ka huri rānei ngā kaipahua? Tekau mā ono ngā keehi i tukuna e rātou ki ahau. E rua tau me te hawhe taku pakanga. He wā tino uaua tēnā mōku, engari i kitea e au te whakamarie i roto i aku tamariki (i whānau te tama pōtiki i te tau 2004) me te mōhio hoki kāore au e hoki ki te whanaungatanga i whara ai tōku wairua me tōku tinana.
He Pānui e Pā Ana: He pūrākau aroha moemoeā i riro hei moemoeā tūturu
I muri i te oma i tētahi kooti ki tētahi kooti, i tēnei rā kei ahau te mana tiaki o aku tamariki tokorua me tētahi whare hei nohoanga. I toa ahau i te keehi, ā, i wehe atu i a ia i te tau 2014. I tangohia e au aku tamariki i tētahi whanaungatanga tukino. I ētahi wā ka whakaaro ahau nō hea ahau i whiwhi ai i te kaha ki te oma atu i taku tāne tukino , ka tīmata anō mai i te tīmatanga.
Ko tāku tumanako, kāore ngā wāhine e pāngia ana e te tukino ā-whare e roa pērā i ahau ki te mōhio kāore rawa ngā kaitukino e huri. Me mutu tā rātou whakapāha mōna me āna mahi. Engari i te whakaaro, "Ka taea e te tāne tukino te huri?" me te ngana ki te pupuri i te tumanako ka taea e ia, he pai ake te mawhiti atu i te wā e taea ai.
I tēnei rā, he kaituhi whakaaweawe ahau, ā, e toru aku pukapuka kua tuhia. Kei te ako taku tama matamua, kei te mahi hoki. Kei te kitea tonu te paru kawhe i tauhiuhia e ia ki te mata o taku tama matamua, i tōna riri nui, i runga i ngā pakitara o tōku kāinga o mua. Ka huri rānei tētahi tangata tukino? Ko tāku tumanako kāore au e noho anō i roto i tētahi āhuatanga e pāngia ai ahau e tēnei pātai.
Kāore au i te mōhio, ā, kāore hoki au e hiahia ki te mōhio ki hea taku tāne me tōna whānau i oma ai i muri i te hinganga o te kēhi. Kei a au te rangimārie, ā, kei a au aku tamariki. Kei te haumaru rātou, ā, koinei te mea nui ki ahau.
(I kōrerotia ki a Mariya Salim)
FAQs
He maha ngā take ka tūkino ai te tangata. Tērā pea he raruraru hinengaro nanakia, he mamae nō tētahi hītori mamae, he kaiwhakamahi waipiro, he kaiwhakamahi tarukino rānei. Kāore rānei he take i tua atu i te tūkino, te kore aroha ki te tangata. Ahakoa he whakamārama kei muri i ō rātou whanonga tukino, kia mōhio koe kāore ngā whakamārama e whakamārama ana i te whakamārama i ō rātou whanonga.
Ka taea e koe te muru i ō rātou hara, kia tau ai tō wairua ki te rangimārie. Engari he pai ake kia kaua e wareware ki ngā mea, kia kaua hoki e whakawhirinaki anō ki a rātou. Ahakoa ka whakatau koe ki te muru i ō rātou hara, kia mōhio koe he tika tāu whakatau, ahakoa he aha te kōrero a te tangata. Whakatakotoria tō oranga me tō hauora hinengaro ki mua, ā, whakatau i runga i tēnā. Kāore he nama āu ki te tangata nana koe i tukino.
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
He mihi nui ki a koe mō tō toa. Ki taku titiro he raiona uha koe, ā, e tino mōhio ana ahau ka nui te mihi o āu tamariki ki ō mamae, ā, ka wareware koe ki ō roimata i ringihia e koe i te wā o tō marena, he moemoeā kino tēnei, ehara i te moemoeā noa iho. Kua tīmata ō rā pai..Kia pai tō oranga...ā, kei te kite te Atua i ngā hara o ō hungawai. Me utu e rātou.
Me puta te whakaaro o ngā wāhine "Kei te rangi te marena," ā, kua whakaritea kētia. Mēnā he aituā te marena, ko wai mā me whakakore atu, me whawhai ki tēnei āhuatanga. He tika ki ia tangata kia ora i tētahi oranga pai ake.