35 Ngā Tohu Whakararuraru o te Gaslighting i roto i te Hononga

Whakaarohia tēnei: ​​kua maha ngā wā kua kōrero koe ki tō tāne kia whakatika i te pouaka whakamātao i mua i te haerenga mai o ō hoa ki a koe i tēnei wiki mutunga. Ka mea atu ia ka mahi ia, heoi anō, i te taenga mai o te wiki mutunga, ka whakapae ia i a koe, me te kī, "Kāore koe i whakamahara mai ki ahau mō tēnā! Nāu katoa te he." Āe, he tohu mārama tēnei o te tukino hinengaro e kiia nei ko te gaslighting, ā, mā tēnei tuhinga koe e āwhina ki te tūhura i ngā tohu whakamataku e 35 o te gaslighting i roto i te whanaungatanga, pērā i tēnei, mā roto i tēnei tuhinga.

Haunga te whakautu i tāu pātai "He aha te gaslighting i roto i te whanaungatanga?", ka āwhina anō mātou i a koe me ētahi tauira gaslighting me ētahi tohutohu kua whakamatauria hei whakatau i tēnei raruraru, me te kōrero tahi me te kaitohutohu. Ruchi Ruuh (Tohu Paetahi i roto i te Hinengaro Tohutohu), he tohunga ki te tohutohu mō ngā take e pā ana ki te whakaipoipo, te puremu, te pakanga marena, me te whakarere. Nō reira, kia ruku tātou ki te tūhura i te tikanga o te gaslighting i roto i ngā whanaungatanga…

He aha te Gaslighting i roto i te whanaungatanga?

Nā, he aha te gaslighting i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, ā, me pēhea te whakaatu i a ia anō? E whakamārama ana a Ruchi, "Ko te tikanga o te gaslighting i roto i he rite ngā whanaungatanga ki te whakahaere tinihanga e whakararuraru ana tētahi tangata i te tirohanga a tētahi atu ki te ao tūroa, ā, ka meinga rātou kia ruarua i ō rātou ake whakaaro, maharatanga, me ngā kare ā-roto, ā, he maha ngā wā ka pōhēhē rātou. Ka hangaia hoki e rātou he ao tūroa teka. Ko te tangata kua whakakāhia ki te hau ka mutu ka ruarua i a ia anō. He maha ngā wā ka puta he mamae hinengaro nui i te whakakāhia ki te hau, ā, he momo tukino kare ā-roto. Ka meinga te patunga kia kore e māia.”

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He mea whakamīharo, i ahu mai te kupu gaslighting i te kiriata Gaslight o te tau 1944, e whakaatu ana i te wahine e tino tukinotia ana e tana tāne, ā, ka ngaro tōna hinengaro. Ka tīmata ia ki te ruarua i tōna ao tūturu, i tana ake tirohanga rānei mō te mea kua memeha ngā rama i roto i te rūma, i te mea ka tahuri tonu te tāne, ka whakaweto hoki.

A rangahau mō te rama hau i kitea he hononga nui i waenga i ngā āhuatanga o te Dark Tetrad (arā, te whakapehapeha, ngā mahi a Machiavellian, te hinengaro pōuri, me te sadism) me te whakaae ki te gaslighting i roto i ngā whanaungatanga piripono, ā, he maha ake ngā tāne e gaslighting ana i ā rātou hoa i ngā wāhine.

35 Ngā Tohu Whakararuraru o te Gaslighting i roto i te Hononga

E mōhio ana tātou, ka taea e te whakakā hau te arahi ki te whara nui i roto i te hinengaro o te patunga, ā, ka pā he pānga roa ki a ia. Ka taea e te whakaaro nui o te patunga te heke ki raro rawa. Inaa, he maha ngā tāngata o ēnei rā rangahau mō ngā tikanga hauhanga kua tirotirohia te "whakahaere i te oranga hinengaro me te oranga kare ā-roto o te patunga, me tō rātou whakaaro ko rātou anō he kaiārahi mātauranga".

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Waihoki, a Reddit kaiwhakamahi i kōrero ia mō tana wheako me tētahi hoa mahi hau: "E whā tau māua e noho tahi ana. Ka whakatupu ake ahau i te māia ki te kōrero ki a ia mō ngā raruraru ka kitea e au i roto i te whanaungatanga, mēnā rānei i mahi ia i tētahi mea kāore au i pai ki a ia, ā, ka nui te hamama o māua. Ka tīmata māua me te kōrero mārie, ā, ka hamama mai ia ki ahau, ā, ka mutu ko te nui o ngā roimata.

"Ka hamama mai ia ki ahau, ka mea mai he porangi ahau, he nui rawa hoki ōku tauhohenga, he maha āna kupu pēnei i te 'kāore koe e mahara ki ngā mea i tupu nā te mea ehara tēnā i te mea i tupu', 'kei te rite koe ki te wahine porangi' 'kei roto katoa tēnā i tō whakaaro' he maha ngā kōrero teka me te tinihanga i roto i tēnei." te whanau paitini"I te mea he tino mamae, he kino hoki te whakamahi i te hauhautanga, ka ara ake te pātai, me pēhea te tautuhi i ōna tohu whakatūpato i roto i ngā whanonga o ia rā? Hei āwhina i a koe ki te tautuhi i ngā tohu whero, kua whakarārangihia e mātou ngā tohu whakamataku e 35 o te whakamahi i te hauhautanga i roto i te whanaungatanga:

1. Ka meinga koe kia whakaaro he tino tairongo koe

E mea ana a Ruchi, "He maha ngā wā, ka meinga koe e te hoa mahi hauhautanga kia whakaaro kāore koe e pai ki tētahi katakata, kia wero rānei i ō urupare ki tētahi kōrero whakapataritari mā te waihanga i te rangirua i roto i tō hinengaro." I tēnei wā, ka kōrero pea rātou i tētahi mea whakaiti, ā, ina tauhohe koe, ka whakahoki pea me te ngā kīanga whakakā hau me ngā kōrero pēnei i:

• "Kāore e taea e koe te tango i te katakata."
• "He kata noa iho tāku."
• "He aha koe i tino aro ai? Kati te noho hei hukarere."

2. E whakapae ana rātou i a koe mō te nui rawa o tō urupare

I roto i ngā tohu whakamataku e 35 o te whakamātao hau i roto i te whanaungatanga he kōrero pēnei i,

• "He hapa iti noa iho. He aha koe i whakanui ai i tēnei mea?"
• "Kati te whakararuraru nui rawa!"

Āe, e kī ana a Ruchi, "He tohu nui tēnei o te gaslighting. Mena kua pāngia koe e te tukino kare ā-roto a te gaslighter, ā, kāore koe i te harikoa ki te mea i tupu, ka whakamahia pea e rātou ngā kupu gaslighting me te kī ko koe te tangata e tino tauhohe ana."

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3. He whakakahore i ngā kaupapa me ngā kōrerorero

E mea ana a Ruchi, "Tērā pea ka ngana te hoa mahi hau ki te whakakahore i tētahi mea i tupu. Tērā pea ka whakararuraru i ngā tirohanga me ngā mahara o te patunga." Tērā pea ka kitea anō e koe kei te whiua tonutia e tō hoa ngā kōrero hau ki a koe, pēnei i:

• "Kāore tēnei i tupu."
• "I moemoeā koe mō taua mea?"
• "Kāore i tika tāu whakarongo."
• "I te moemoeā noa iho koe?"

Neke atu i te wa, tenei tukino aronganui tērā pea ka nui te mamae. Tērā pea ka tīmata te hoa kua whakakāhia ki te hau te ruarua i tōna mahara.

4. He maha ngā wā ka pātaihia tō hinengaro pai

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu whakararuraru 35 o te gaslighting i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga ko te wā e ruaruahia ana tō hinengaro pai. E kī ana a Ruchi, "He maha ngā wā, he hoa rangatira e tahu hau ana "tērā pea ka whakaekea te pumau hinengaro me ngā tirohanga, ngā wheako rānei o tā rātou patunga." Nō reira, i tēnei wā, ka rongo pea koe i a rātou e kōrero ana i ngā kōrero whakahāwea pēnei i:

• "He porangi koe. Haere ki te kite i tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro."
• "He aha koe te tirotiro ai i tō roro?"

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5. E whakapaetia ana koe he tino pōuri rawa

Mā te hoa rangatira, mā te hoa rangatira rānei e whakamahi ana i ngā kupu "gaslighting" ka meinga koe kia rite ki te tangata kore haumaru i ētahi wā, me tā rātou tukino kare ā-roto tonu. E mea ana a Ruchi, "Nō reira, i ngā wā katoa ka raru koe i ā rātou mahi, i tētahi tangata rānei e taunekeneke ana rātou, ka meinga koe e rātou kia rite ki te raruraru, ā, ka whakamahia e rātou ngā kupu "gaslighting" whakaiti." Nō reira, tera pea ka rongo koe i ngā kīanga "gaslighting" mai i a rātou, pēnei i:

• "He whakaaro noa iho tāu. Kāore au i te takaro ki a ia."
• “Ko koe te tino māharahara i ēnei rā. He aha koe te mahi ai i a koe anō?”

6. He maha ngā wā ka kīia atu ki a koe kei te hē tō mārama ki a rātou

E mea ana a Ruchi, "He maha ngā wā ka whakapaehia koe e ngā hoa mahi hauhautanga mō te kore e mārama ki a rātou me ā rātou whāinga." Nō reira, tera pea ka rongo koe i ngā kōrero hauhautanga mai i a rātou, pēnei i:

• "Kāore rawa ahau i kōrero i tēnā."
• "I hē tō mārama ki taku i kōrero ai."

Tērā pea ka kōrerotia tēnei e rātou i muri tonu i tā rātou kōrero i tētahi mea whakapataritari, i tētahi mea kino rānei.

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7. He maha ngā wā ka whakapaehia koe mō te tito kōrero, te hanga kōrero rānei

Ko tētahi o ngā tauira o te whakamāoritanga ko te wā e whakapaetia ana koe mō te whakaaro noa i ngā āhuatanga rūpahu. E kī ana a Ruchi, "Ina whakamāoritia koe e tetahi, ka taea e rātou te kī kei te tito kōrero koe ina tūtaki koe ki a rātou mō tētahi mea kua whakapataritari, kua whakahē rānei." kāore i whakaute i a koe"Nō reira, tera pea ka rongo pinepine koe i ēnei kōrero whakatoi a tō hoa:

• "Kati te tito noa i ngā mea."
• "Kati te ngana ki te whakama i ahau mā te tito i ngā kōrero rūpahu."

8. E mea ana rātou he nui rawa tō whakapae

Kua kīia atu ki a koe he tangata whakapae tonu koe? Mena he hoa tāu e whakamahi ana i ngā tikanga whakakākahu hau, he mea noa te rongo i ngā kōrero whakakākahu hau mai i a rātou, pēnei i:

• "Kei te mataku koe."
• "Kia marino! Kāore au e huna ana i tetahi mea i a koe."

E mea ana a Ruchi, "Ina tauhohe koe ki te kore e kōrerotia te pono, ki te mea rānei kei te hunaia tetahi mea i a koe, he hui huna pea ki tā rātou hoa o mua, he kōrero rānei ki tētahi hoa aroha, ka tauhohe pea rātou mā te kī kei te mataku noa koe."

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9. E mea ana rātou kei te wareware koe i ngā mea

"Kei te hē tō maumahara" - he kōrero harakore tēnei, tika? Engari ka huri hei mea kino ina whakamahia e te hoa rangatira e whakamahi ana i tēnei hei wero i te mahara o te tangata i pāngia. Whakaarohia tēnei: ​​Kua kōrero kōrua ko tō hoa mō tā rāua whakahoki mai i ngā tamariki i te kura nā te mea he waea nui tā kōrua ki te kiritaki i runga i te Skype. Engari kāore rāua i te aro ki tā rāua kawenga. Engari, ko tō hoa rangatira whakapae teka kei wareware koe i tā rātou kī kāore e taea e rātou te tiki i ngā tamariki. E mea ana a Ruchi, "Koinei te wero a te hoa mahi hau i tō mahara me tō pupuri i tō ake ao."

10. Ka tohu tonu rātou i ō hapa

He tangata e whakamahi ana i te hauhautanga e whakamahara tonu ana i a koe mō ō ngoikoretanga me ō ngoikoretanga, ā, tera pea ka tawai koe mō aua ngoikoretanga. Nō reira, ka mau tonu te whakaaro kāore koe i te pai mō rātou. He mea tēnei kēmu hinengaro Ka takaro rātou hei whakahaere i a koe. I pakaru te riri o tētahi o ōku hoa, a Anthony, i tētahi waea mai ki ahau, ā, ka kōrero mai ia mō tana whakakāhiatanga e tana wahine, e Susan, ki te hau. I mea ia, "Kāore ia e harikoa ki ahau. Mai i te whiriwhiri i taku hāte ki te kai ka tonoa e au, ka kitea e ia ngā hapa o ngā mea katoa. Kāore au i te mōhio me aha." Āe, me kōrero atu ahau ki a Anthony kei te whakakāhia ia ki te hau. Koinei tētahi o ngā tauira matarohia o te whakakāhiatanga hau.

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11. Ka meinga koe kia rongo kei te hiahia nui koe ki tētahi mea

Nō reira, he maha ngā wā ka kitea e koe tētahi hoa rangatira e mahi hē ana, ā, ka tono whakautu mai i a rātou, hei tauira, mō te tinihanga i a koe, mō te teka rānei ki a koe mō tētahi mea, ka whakapae pea rātou i a koe kei te aro nui koe ki taua whakaaro. Ka rongo pea koe i ā rātou kōrero e pā ana ki te hau, pērā i:

• "He nui rawa tō hiahia ki tēnei."
• "Kāore e taea e koe te whakarērea, ka haere tonu?"

E mea ana a Ruchi, "I ētahi wā, inā koa i roto i te puremu, he uaua ki te tuku atu, ki te wareware rānei i te kaupapa, nā te mea e takaro tonu ana i roto i tō hinengaro. Engari, e kore te hoa e whakamātau ana i te hauhautanga e meinga koe kia rongohia. Engari, ka ngana rātou ki te whakaatu i a koe he hoa piripono, he hoa piripono rānei."

12. E mea ana rātou kei te hē tō whakamārama i ngā mea

He mōhio koe ki ēnei kupu me ngā kōrero mō te hauhanga hau i raro nei?

• "Kei te hē tāu tango i ngā mea. Kāore i pērā taku tikanga."
• "Kei te tangohia noa e koe ngā mea i waho o te horopaki."

E whakaaro ana a Ruchi, "Ina whakapaetia tonutia koe mō te whakamāori hē i ngā āhuatanga, i ngā kōrero rānei, kaua e whiwhi i te whakapāha e tika ana māu mō te whara o ō kare ā-roto, e mōhio ana koe kei te whakamāori noa rātou i a koe."

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13. Ka kīia atu ki a koe kāore e taea e koe te aro ki te pono

E mea ana a Ruchi, "He maha ngā wā ka whakaatuhia e ngā kaiwhakakā hau he hunga pono, ā, ka kī he mea noa iho. Engari i te nuinga o te wā, ehara i te mea koinā te āhua." Ka mahi rātou i tēnei kia kaua e tango i te te kawenga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, ka whakapae rātou i te patunga mō te kore e pakeke ki te aro atu ki te pono. Ināianei, ka taea te huna i te pono mā te tawai, te whakatoi rānei mō te āhua o te hoa, ngā whiringa mahi, ngā tikanga kakahu rānei.

14. E whakaatuhia ana koe he tangata whakahihi

"Kei te rapu raruraru tonu koe. Kāore e taea e koe te harikoa noa?" Kua rongo pinepine koe i aua kupu mai i tō hoa? Āe, tera pea kei te whakamātau rātou i a koe. E whakaaro ana a Ruchi, "Kāore ēnei tāngata e āwangawanga ana mōu engari kei te whakaari rātou he tino pai rawa atu ki te wareware i ō āwangawanga." Nō reira, tera pea rātou:

• Kāore koe e hiahia kia whakaarahia e koe ngā raruraru i roto i te whanaungatanga
• Whakarērea ō kare ā-roto me ō whakaaro, me te kī he 'kino'
• Me kī he nui rawa tō whakahē i ngā mea

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15. E kiia ana koe he 'tangata rapu aro'

Kua maha ngā wā i kīia atu ai ki a koe kei te ngana koe ki te rapu aro I te wā i ngana noa koe ki te kōrero ki tō hoa mō tētahi kaupapa i whakararuraru i a koe? E kī ana a Ruchi, "Ina kua whakapuaki koe i tō hiahia kia whakamanahia, ā, kua whakakorengia rātou e tō hoa, kua whakaititia rānei rātou, me te kī he tangata rapu aro koe, ka taea e koe te whakaaro kāore he aha o tō reo. Koinei te huarahi e mōhio ai koe ki te gaslighting."

16. Kei te hikoi koe i runga i ngā anga hua manu

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu whakamataku e 35 o te gaslighting i roto i te whanaungatanga ko te kitenga i a koe anō haere i runga i nga anga hua manuKa āwangawanga koe, ka mataku hoki kei whara ngā kare ā-roto o tō hoa i ngā wā katoa. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, tera pea ka mataku koe ki te whakapuaki i ō whakaaro me ō tirohanga mō ngā mahi o ia rā, pēnei i:

• Te tono atu ki a rātou kia whakamahere i tētahi hararei
• Te kī atu me toro atu koe ki ō mātua i te mutunga wiki e tū mai nei
• Te whakamōhio atu ki a rātou mō tētahi haerenga mahi

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17. Ka kīia atu ki a koe he tangata whakaarokore koe

Ko te kaha ki te noho whakaraerae tetahi ki tetahi ko tētahi o ngā āhuatanga matua o te whanaungatanga hauoraE mea ana a Ruchi, "Engari mēnā ko te tono noa iho mō te haumaru o te ngākau ka kīia koe e tō hoa he 'tangata kore whakaaro', ka taea e koe te okioki mārire kei te whakamātau rātou i a koe, ā, he whanaungatanga kino tōu. Kei te ngana rātou ki te huri i tō ngoikore hei take e pouri ai koe mōu anō."

18. Ka kiia koe he 'kaiwhakahaere'

"Kei te ngana koe ki te whakahaere i ahau mā te mea i ahau e mahi ana i tāu e hiahia ana kia mahia e au." — Kua rongo pinepine koe i tō hoa e kōrero ana i tēnei ki a koe, kāore he take e kitea ana? Āe, e kī ana a Ruchi, "He maha ngā wā ka hurihia e ngā kaipātū hau te tūponotanga, ka whakapae i te patunga mō te whakamahi i a rātou, i a rātou rānei te whakahaere i a rātou i roto i ngā whanaungatanga ina ngana rātou ki te whakamārama i ō rātou hiahia, ō rātou rohe rānei."

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19. He maha ngā wā ka puta te whakapae

Kua rongo pinepine koe i tō hoa e kī ana, "Ko koe te raruraru, ehara i ahau"? te huri i te hara ā, ko te kore e whakaae ki te whakahaere i ā rātou hapa he tohu matarohia o te gaslighting. E kī ana a Ruchi, "He peka ke noa iho tēnei. Koinei te āhua o te whakaiti i tō mooni e ngā gaslighting, me te tuku i a koe kia whai kawenga mō ā rātou mahi."

A Reddit kaiwhakamahi e whakapuaki ana i tana kōrero mō te whakakāhia e tana hoa rangatira: "...ka ngaro āna ake taonga, kātahi ka hamama mai ki ahau mō te "ngaronga" o aua mea, mō te maka atu rānei - nō reira me keri au i roto i ngā momo kāpata me ngā wāhi katoa, ā, ka waiho hei wāhi kāore he take mōku ki te waiho i te taonga."

20. E whakapae ana rātou i a koe he tangata kino

Anei tētahi o ngā tauira matarohia o te gaslighting. I kōrero taku hoa, a Nancy, i tētahi mea e pā tonu ana ki ahau ina whakaaro ahau ki ngā tauira gaslighting. I whawhai ia ki tana hoa pukuriri i a ia e ngana ana ki te whakatika i ngā raruraru o tana whanaungatanga.

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Engari kātahi ka mahue ia me te mea ko ia te tangata nanakia. I puta atu tana hoa i te rūma, me te patupatu i te tatau, engari i mua i tana kīnga atu, "Kei te ngana anō koe ki te tīmata i te whawhai. Kāore e taea e au te kōrero ki a koe ina tino whakaari koe, e tino mauahara ana hoki." He tauira matarohia tēnei o te gaslighting, e ngana ana rātou ki te mawhiti i te tuku whakamārama mā te whakapae i a koe mō te mauahara.

21. Ka wehea koe e rātou

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu whakatūpato o te gaslighting i roto i ngā whanaungatanga (me te mate whaiaro narcissistic) ko te wā e ngana ana tō hoa ki te wehe i a koe i tō whānau, i ō hoa, me ō whanaunga. Mā tēnei, ka whiwhi rātou i te mana, ā, ka taea e rātou te whakahaere i a koe anō, nā te mea kāore he pūnaha tautoko hei whakawhirinaki atu māu. Nō reira, tera pea rātou:

• Ngāna ki te horoi i tō roro mā te teka ki a koe mō ō hoa tata, mō tō whānau rānei
• Ārai i a koe kei tūtaki ki ō hoa aroha

22. Ka karanga rātou i a koe he 'matea'

E mea ana a Ruchi, "Tērā pea kei te rapu pono koe i te tautoko i tētahi wā pōuri, pērā i tētahi āhuatanga ohorere hauora, i tētahi hui nui rānei i te mahi, ā, ina tono āwhina koe ki tō hoa, tērā pea ka whakahēngia koe he tangata tino hiahia, he tangata tino whakawhirinaki rānei koe." Nō reira, ka kī pea ngā kaiwhakakā hau i ngā mea pēnei:

• "He nui rawa tō hiahia. Kati te whakawhirinaki ki ahau i ngā wā katoa."
• "Kia tū motuhake koe. Kāore e taea e koe te tono kia hari tonu koe i ahau."

Te pānui e pā ana: Ngā Take me ngā Tohu o tētahi Hononga Whakangoikore i te Wairua, me pēhea te Whakatikatika

23. Ka takaro rātou i te 'pārurenga'

"Kei te meinga ahau e koe kia rite ki tētahi 'tangata kino', kāore?" — Kua rongo koe i tō hoa e kōrero ana i tēnei ki a koe i ngā wā katoa? E mea ana a Ruchi, "He maha ngā wā ka kitea e koe tētahi hoa e whakapae ana i a koe mō te whakaahua i a rātou i roto i te tirohanga kino, te whakaatu rānei i a rātou hei tangata kino i roto i tō whārite." Nō reira, ko tētahi o ngā tauira o te rama hau ko te wā e takaro ana rātou i te patunga kia kore ai e taea te whakapae i a rātou mō ā rātou mahi nanakia.

24. E mea ana rātou ka whakanuia e koe ngā mea

Tērā pea ka meinga koe e te hoa mahi hauhautanga kia whakapono kāore tō pono i te pono. E mea ana a Ruchi, "Ka meinga koe e rātou kia whakapono kei te whakanui noa koe i ngā āhuatanga, ā, ko koe te tangata he he mō te pānga o ngā mea, o ngā huihuinga rānei."

25. Ka kīia atu ki a koe kāore koe i te whakawhetai

E whakapono ana a Ruchi, "E hiahia ana te katoa kia kitea he tangata pai. Nō reira, ki te kī mai tō hoa kei te kore koe e whakawhetai, tera pea ka whakaititia koe." Ko tētahi atu huarahi tēnei e whakaeke ai te kaipatu hau i a koe. Ka meinga koe e rātou kia whakaaro kāore koe e tino maioha ana ki a rātou me ā rātou mahi.

Te pānui e pā ana: RTe Whakapumautanga i roto i te Hononga - Ngā Tohu, Ngā Take, me Me Pēhea te Tuku

26. E ai ki a rātou he nui rawa tō mana whakahaere

Ko tētahi o ngā tauira o te gaslighting ko te wā e whakahaere ana rātou i a koe, kātahi ka kīia koe he kaiwhakahaere. E kī ana a Ruchi, "He maha ngā wā, ina whakaū koe i tō rohe hononga me ngā manakohanga, me te kī ka mahi koe, kāore rānei e mahi i tētahi mea, kāore rānei rātou e tika kia warewarehia, kia whakakorea rānei ō hiahia, ka tere pea te whakautu a te hoa mahi hauhautanga mā te whakapae i a koe he tino mana whakahaere rawa koe.” Nō reira, ka mutu pea rātou ki te kī i ngā mea pēnei i:

• "Kāore e taea e koe te akiaki i ahau kia mahi i tēnā."
• "Kei te pēhea koe e tohutohu mai ai i taku e tika ai, me taku e kore ai e tika kia mahia?"

27. Kua tapaina koe he 'whakaarokore'

Ina ngana te kaipātū hau ki te whakakore i ō whakaaro, ka tapaina pea koe he 'pohehe' hei whakakore i ō whakaaro me ō kare ā-roto. Ae, he kupu taumaha te 'pohehe', ā, e kī ana a Ruchi, "Ka taea e ia te hanga i te ranunga o te kore haumaru me te kino i roto i tō hinengaro, ka meinga koe kia rite ki te mea he he kei roto i a koe."

28. E kīia ana koe he 'tino kare ā-roto'

Nā, he tohu tēnei mō te whakakorenga o te kare ā-roto. E whakaae ana a Ruchi, "Ko te nuinga o te hunga e haere mai ana ki ahau mō whakaipoipo faaipoipo "E kōrero ana mō ō rātou hoa rangatira e tino aro nui ana, e tino kare ā-roto ana rānei mō ngā mahi o ia rā." Engari he rite tonu tēnei whakapae ki te whakamāori i ngā mea e pā ana ki te hau, nā te mea:

• Ka tapaina ō kare ā-roto he nui rawa, he koretake rānei
• Ko tōna tikanga me noho puku koe ina he mea e tika ana kia kōrerotia

Te pānui e pā ana: 11 Ngā Tohu Whakatūpato o te Kore o te Hononga Kare ā-roto i roto i ngā Hononga

29. Kāore rātou e whakaae ana ki te kawenga

"Ko koe te kawenga, ehara i ahau" — Ko tētahi atu tēnei o ngā kōrero rongonui a ngā kaipāho hau. E kī ana a Ruchi, "Te huri i te kawenga, me te kore e tango i te kawenga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga he tohu matarohia o te hauhautanga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga.”

30. Te whanonga 'wera me te makariri'

He tohu rama hau rongonui (me tērā o mate tuakiri taakaro (too) ko te wā e rerekē haere ana te whanonga o tō hoa. Nō reira, tera pea ka nui ake ā rātou whakamoemiti ki a koe i tētahi rā, kātahi ka whakahē i a koe i te rā e whai ake nei. Tērā pea ka whakanuia koe i runga ake i ngā mea katoa, kātahi ka maka atu i a koe me te mea kāore he tikanga ki a rātou. He huarahi tino āta hangaia tēnei hei pupuri i a koe kia mau tonu. E kore rawa koe e whakarērea i a rātou, nā te mea ka tatari tonu koe mō taua mahi whakamana, hei whakamana pai rānei i ētahi wā.

Te pānui e pā ana: Ngā wāhine wera, ngā wāhine makariri hoki, he aha rātou i pēnei ai?

31. Kei te whakapāha tonu koe

Mena ko tāu whakautu noa ki ia tautohe, ki ia kōrero rānei ki a rātou ko "Aroha mai" ko "Kāore au i tika kia mahi i tērā", he tohu mārama tēnei kei te whakakino kino tō hoa i a koe. Ko te patu matua a te kaiwhakakino kino ko te whakapouri i a koe mō āu mahi, me te tono whakapāha mai i a koe.

32. He rerekētanga nui kei waenganui i ā rātou mahi me ā rātou kupu

Kāore rawa ngā mahi a te kaipatu hau e rite ki ā rātou kupu. Ae, ka taea e rātou te tinihanga me te whakaputa kereme nunui, heoi, ina tae ki te pupuri i ā rātou kupu whakaari, ki te whakatutuki rānei i ā rātou kupu, ka kitea he hapa rātou.

33. Ka whakaitihia tō reo

Kua rongo koe i tō hoa rangatira e kōrero ana ki a koe i ēnei mea?

• "Ka hangaia e koe ngā maunga mai i ngā pukepuke iti."
• "Ehara i te mea nui!"

Āe, ko te whakapae i a koe mō te whakanui i ngā mea iti, te whakanui rānei i ngā mea kia kore e tika te rahi, he huarahi tēnei mā te hoa whakahihiri ki te whakaiti i tō reo me ō āwangawanga. E kī ana a Ruchi, "Ka meinga koe e rātou kia rite ki te wairangi mō te whakapuaki i ō hiahia, te whakaatu rānei i ō kare ā-roto. Me te mea nei kāore he aha o ō hiahia, ā, kei te tono koe kia nui rawa. "

Te pānui e pā ana: 21 Ngā Wāhanga o te Hononga Narcissistic me te Empath

34. E kīia ana ki a koe he pai ki a koe te 'whakaari'

Ki te mea kei te whakaaro tonu koe me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei te whakahāwea koe e tō hoa, kia mahara, he maha ngā wā ka kī te tangata whakahāwea kei te mahi koe hei kuini whakaari (he kīngi rānei), ina whakahē koe i ā rātou mahi me ngā taunakitanga pakari. Nō reira, tera pea ka rongo koe i ngā mea pēnei i:

• "Kati te whakaari."
• "Kaua e waihanga i tētahi āhuatanga whakamīharo."

E whakapono ana a Ruchi, "Pēnei, ka whakaititia e rātou te mana o ā rātou patunga" ngā kare ā-roto me te kore e whakamana i ā rātou tauhohenga. "

35. Kei te rapu tonu koe i te whakaae

Ko tētahi āhuatanga noa o te kaipāpā hau ko tōna kaha ki te whakataurekareka i tō hinengaro. Tae rawa atu ki te wā, ka kitea pea koe e inoi ana kia aro mai rātou, kia whakaaetia rānei koe nā te mea kua meinga koe e rātou kia whakapono he hapa koe, ā, kei te mahi pai rātou māu mā te noho tahi me koe. Ki te mea kei te ngana koe ki te rapu huarahi hei mōhio mēnā kei te pāpā mai tō hoa ki a koe, kia aro ki te āhua o ō whakaaro mōu.

Me pēhea te urupare ki te Gaslighting

Nā, kua mōhio tātou ki ngā tohu whakamataku e 35 o te gaslighting i roto i te whanaungatanga, me ngā tauira me ngā kīanga gaslighting, kāore koe i te whakaaro me pēhea te whakatau i tēnei tūmomo mōrearea? Āe, ka tirohia e tātou me pēhea te urupare ki te gaslighting, i tēnei wāhanga.

Me titiro tuatahi tātou ki te aha Reddit kaiwhakamahi e kōrero ana mō tōna āhua pōuri o te mahi tahi me tētahi hoa mahi hauhautanga: "I ia wā ka tukua e au tētahi o ēnei mea kia pahemo, me te kore e whakarērea ia ia, ka tinihanga ahau i a au anō, ka ngoikore hoki tōku hinengaro. Kaua e pohehe, i tū atu ahau ki a ia. I ngana ahau ki te kōrero ki a ia kia whakaae ia kāore ēnei mea i te whai tikanga. I whakapono kuware ahau he taumata kei reira me whakaae ia ki tētahi ao tūroa e noho tahi ana māua. Kāore tēnei i te pono. Ka taea e koe te kawe i tētahi hōiho ki te wai engari kāore e taea e koe te whakawai i a ia kia inu. Ka taea e koe te kōrero ki tētahi tangata hinengaro pōrangi engari kāore e taea e koe te whakawai i a rāua kia kōrero."

Te pānui e pā ana: He aha te wairua narcissistic me pēhea te urupare ki a ia

Engari he pēnei te āhua kino o te āhuatanga? Kāore e taea te whakahaere i tētahi hoa e hiahia ana ki te āwhina i te tangata? Āe, kāore a Ruchi i te whakaae. Ki tana whakaaro ka taea e koe te urupare ki te āwhina i te tangata i roto i te huarahi whai hua. Me pēhea? Ka homai e ia ētahi tohutohu hei whakatau i te āwhina i te tangata i roto i ngā whanaungatanga:

• Kati te ruarua i a koe anō: Hei whakatau i tētahi hoa mahi hauhautanga, me whakarērea e koe te whakaroa i a koe anō, ā, me mōhio ki tō ake ao tūturu. E whakaaro ana a Ruchi, "Me whakawhirinaki koe ki tō ake whakaaro me te nui o te māia ki a koe anō, me te kī i ngā mea pēnei i te: "E mōhio ana ahau ki taku i kite ai. Kaua e meinga ahau kia whakaroa i tōku hinengaro." Kia tuwhera mō tō ao tūturu, kia whakapuaki hoki i te reo. Āta karohia te kōrero kino ki a koe anō, kaua hoki e whakama.
• Puritia he pukapuka tuhi: Tuhia he puka rātaka o ia rā, me te pupuri i tētahi tuhinga mō ngā mahi o ia rā. E whakaaro ana a Ruchi, "Nō reira, inaianei, ka taea e koe te tahuri me te kī, "Tirohia, kāore tō pūkete e ōrite ana ki tāku, ehara i te mea he whakaaro noa iho." Ehara tēnei i te mea hei whakawehi, hei wero rānei i tō hoa mahi hauhautanga engari hei whakamārama i ō ake feaa ina werohia koe.
• Whakaritehia o rohe matau: He mea nui te whakatakoto rohe i roto i ngā whanaungatanga katoa, ā, nui atu anō hoki i roto i ngā whanaungatanga tukino. E kī ana a Ruchi, "Whakamātauria te whakatakoto rohe pakari, kia taea ai te kī i ngā mea pēnei i te, "Kāore au e whakaae kia pēnā te whakahaeretia" me te "He taunakitanga tēnei kei a au kāore i te pono". Kia maumahara ki ō ake hiahia, ā, karohia te urupare kare ā-roto.
• Rapua te tautoko mai i tētahi whatunga pono: Kia karapotia koe e te hunga tautoko, ahakoa he kaiwhakaora hinengaro, he mema whānau, he rōpū tautoko, he hoa rānei. E kī ana a Ruchi, "Me whai whatunga pono koe hei tautoko me te whakamana i a koe. Ko ēnei te hunga e mōhio ana ki a koe, ki tō ao tūturu rānei, kāore e wero tonu i a koe, ā, ka taea e rātou te whakaatu kei te whakahaerehia koe. Mā te noho tahi me rātou ka puta he whakamarie hinengaro e tino hiahiatia ana."
• Kia okioki: He mea tika kia hoki whakamuri koe, kia okioki hoki ina mataku tonu koe kei taupatupatu koe ki tō hoa mahi. E kī ana a Ruchi, "Ina he tautohetohe werawera tā kōrua, ā, kāore e taea e kōrua te whakaaro mārama, okioki, ka kohikohi i ō whakaaro. Whakakorehia ngā kōrero i roto i tō mahunga, ā, whai wā ki te whakaaro me pēhea te whakautu ngāwari ki tō hoa mahi. Arotahi ki te tiaki i a koe anō, ā, kia mahara, ko tō hauora hinengaro tō kawenga."
• Whakaakohia koe: Ko te nui ake o tō mōhio ki te gaslighting i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, ko te nui ake hoki o tō kaha ki te ārai i tēnei. Ko tā Ruchi, "Tikina he āwhina ngaio, kōrero ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro, mātakihia ngā ataata, me te pānui pukapuka mō tēnei rautaki whakahaere hinengaro, ā, kia maumahara kāore koe i te mokemoke."

Mā roto i tēnei tuhinga, kua ngana mātou ki te āwhina i a koe ki te kite i ngā tohu whakamataku e 35 o te gaslighting i roto i te whanaungatanga. He kēmu morearea te gaslighting o te mana whakahaere me te tinihanga, ā, tata tonu ka mutu ko te tangata gaslited e ngaro ana tōna hinengaro me tōna whakaaro ki a ia anō. Engari mā ngā tohutohu kua whakahuatia i roto i tā mātou tuhinga, ka taea e koe te whakahaere pai i tētahi hoa rangatira gaslighting.

Kia maumahara, ko te tukino kare ā-roto o tetahi momo, ahakoa mā te whakamahi i te hauhautanga, mā te kore rānei, ka pā mai he raruraru hauora hinengaro mō te wā roa, ā, ka taea hoki te piki ake ki te tukino ā-whare. Ki te whakaaro koe kāore e tika ana te whakatikatika i te whanaungatanga me te hoa whakamahi i te hauhautanga, ahakoa te nui o tō haumi kare ā-roto, kaua e mangere ki te wehe atu. Nā te mea, kotahi noa te wā e ora ai koe. Nō reira, kati te rapu whakamārama, whakanuia tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō, ā, kia maumahara, ko koe anake te tangata ka taea te āwhina i a koe anō i tēnei raruraru.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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