Me pēhea te whakatau i te tiaki i roto i ngā whanaungatanga: He aratohu

Ko te tiaki i ngā whanaungatanga te mea ka puta ina rongo koe i tētahi amuamu hei whakaeke, ā, ka huri tika tō pūnaha io ki te aratau tiaki i a koe anō. Engari i te tango i ngā kōrero a tō hoa, ka tīmata koe ki te tiaki i tō ahua, i ō whakaaro, i tō "taha o te kōrero" rānei. Koia te take ka huri wawe te kōrero hei whakapae, hei whakamārama, hei kōrero whakahāwea hoki i waenganui i te tokorua. 

Ka hua ake i tēnei āhua tiaki-ā-roto ngā raruraru kāore anō kia whakatauhia, ngā whara kare ā-roto, me te riri nā te mea kāore tetahi o kōrua e whakaaro ana kei te whakarongohia rāua. Ko te mea e āwhina ana ko te mārama ki ngā take o muri mai, me te whakatika i ngā āputa i roto i tā kōrua whakawhitiwhiti kōrero. Anei tētahi aratohu katoa hei āwhina i a koe.

• okioki
• Tangohia te kawenga mō tō wāhanga
• Ā, arotahi ki te mārama ki tō hoa, kaua ki te tiaki i a koe anō

He aha te āhua o te tiaki i roto i ngā whanaungatanga?

Ko te tiaki i a koe anō he tauira tiaki i a koe anō mai i ngā momo whakahe katoa, nā te mea e kite ana koe he whakaeke whaiaro tēnei, kaua ko te urupare noa iho. Hei whakamutu i te mamae, me: 

• Whakamarama
• whakatika
• Ngā meka tika
• Hurihia te whakapae
• Me waiho rānei koe hei patunga 

Ko te raruraru, ko te āhua o tēnei "urupare tiaki-ā-koe" he rite tonu ki te te huri-whakapae ki tētahi atu tangata, ahakoa kāore koe i te tino whakaaro. 

Te pānui e pā ana: Ina Whakaaro te Wahine Kua Whakarērea ia i roto i te Hononga | Me Aha te Mahi

He huarahi whai hua ki te mārama ki te tikanga o te tiaki whanaungatanga ko te titiro ki tēnei hei taupatupatu i waenga i te hinengaro me te tinana:

• He rite ki te tikanga tiaki hinengaro, ki te tikanga tiaki ego rānei, e ngana ana tō hinengaro ki te whakaiti i te manukanuka, te riri rānei ki te whakaaro ki a koe anō.
• I te taha tinana, he rite tonu ki te tauhohenga mōrearea. Ka taea e te roro me te tinana te whakaaro ki ētahi wā whanaungatanga he "mōrearea", ka whakahohe i ngā pūnaha ahotea e whakarite ana i a koe ki te whawhai, ki te rere rānei. 

Ina kei roto koe i taua āhua, ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ārai he whakauru i ēnei: 

• Ngā whakaroa tere
• Te tirotiro pono i ngā meka
• He nui ake te reo
• Or tutakina ana

Ngā tauira o te tiaki

Ki te mea kei te ārai koe i tētahi whanaungatanga, he rite tonu te ahua o ngā kupu ki te tiaki i a koe anō, engari he rite tonu te pānga ki te whakakore i tō hoa. Koinei ngā momo kōrero e puta ake ana i roto i te whanaungatanga. ngā whawhai a te tokorua:

• "Ehara i ahau te he." 
• "He mahi tonu tāu i tēnei." 
• "I pukumahi ahau, he aha tāu e tumanako ana?" 
• "Ehara i te mea i tupu. Kei te he tō mahara." 
• "Nō reira, ko au te tangata kino ināianei. Pai rawa atu." 
• "Āe, ki taku whakaaro kāore e taea e au te mahi i tetahi mea tika." 
• "He aha koe i patu ai i ahau?" 
• "Me i mahi noa koe i tāu wāhanga, kua kore tēnei e waiho hei raruraru." 

Ka taea hoki e koe te rongo i te ārai i roto i ngā tohu kore-kupu: 

• Te hurihuri o ngā kanohi
• Te aue
• Te whakahihi
• Te tahuri atu
• He reo pūmau, whakatoi rānei

Ka tino whakatauira ngā tohu kore-waha i te whakamāramatanga o ngā karere, ā, ka taea hoki e rātou te whakanui ake i te ahi. 

"Ina tūpato koe, ka tīmata tō urupare whawhai, oma rānei nā te mea ka pēhia koe, ā, ka mutu te mahi a te wāhanga whakaaro o tō roro."

– Kaiwhakamahi Reddit

Ngā Tohu o te Tiaki i roto i te Hononga

He māmā noa te kite i ngā whanonga tiaki i roto i ngā whanaungatanga ina mōhio koe ki ngā mea hei tirotiro. Ka whai i tētahi tauira e neke atu ai te arotahi mai i te mārama ki te take ki te tiaki i a koe anō. Engari i te aro atu ki ngā kare ā-roto o tō hoa, ka neke tō hinengaro ki tētahi urupare tiaki i a koe anō. Kāore pea koe e mōhio i taua wā tonu, engari ka tīmata ō tauhohenga ki te tangi auau, me te mea he aunoa.

Ka kitea pea e koe ētahi o ēnei whanonga e tupu tahi ana, inā koa i te wā o te pakanga:

• Te whakapae i tō hoa mō āu mahi, mō ō kare ā-roto rānei 
• Te hanga whakamārama hei karo i te kawenga
• Te whakaeke ā-whakahē, te whakawhiti whakapae rānei
• Te whakakore i te kawenga, te whakaiti rānei i tō tūranga
• Te takaro i te patunga harakore kia hoki whakamuri ai te tangata kē 
• Te tautohetohe mō ngā meka me ngā taipitopito, kaua ki te aro atu ki te take kare ā-roto 
• Te whakakore me te whakaemi i ngā taunakitanga, me te mea kei te hanga kēhi koe i roto i te kooti
• Te kati, te wehe atu, te te aukati i ngā kare ā-roto ina taumaha rawa 

He aha te take e mahi ai te hoa hei tiaki i a ia anō? 

Ko te pūtake o te ārai i roto i ngā whanaungatanga he hua o te kore mārama ki te tikanga o ngā kupu, o ngā korero kino Ka whakapuakina e te hoa tētahi raruraru, engari ka hurihia e tō roro hei mea uaua ake:

• "He āwangawanga tāku" ka huri hei "Kei te whakararu koe i ahau."
• "I mamae ahau i tēnei" ka huri hei "He tangata kino koe."
• "Ka taea e tāua te kōrero mō tēnei?" ka huri hei "Ka whakama koe."

Kia rongo koe i te whakaekenga, ka piki ake tō kaha tauhohenga kare ā-roto, ā, ka aunoa te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ārai. 

Te pānui e pā ana: Me aha koe mēnā kei te momotu koe i tō hoa?

1. Te whakaaro kei te whakaekea, kei te whakahengia rānei

Ko te whakahē tētahi o ngā mea tino whakaohooho. Ina whakaarahia he kaupapa i roto i te huarahi whakapae kino, he tauhohenga noa te ārai. Ki te hiahia koe kia iti ake te ārai, ehara i te mea ko te tangata anake e ārai ana koe ka mahi. Ka whakaitihia hoki e koe te whakahē mā te whakarerekē i te huarahi e whakaarahia ai ngā take. Koia te take he mea nui te "tīmatanga mārie" me te "ki taku whakaaro" te whakatakoto whakaaro. 

"He kawenga kei ngā taha e rua o tēnei tauira whakawhitiwhiti kōrero whakamate-mārenatanga. Ko te kaikōrero te he mō te whakaara ake i te take i roto i te huarahi kino, arohaehae hoki, ā, ko te kaiwhakarongo te he mō te tauhohe ārai, mā te whakakore i te kawenga mō tā rātou wāhi i roto i te raruraru."

– TyaCamellia Stone, Kaiwhakaora Marena me te Whānau Raihana

2. Te tiaki i te whakaaro nui ki a koe anō

Ko ētahi o ngā mahi ārai he rite tonu ki te aromatawai i te whakaute i a koe anō. Kei te ngana koe ki te karo i te whakama. Mā te whakaae kua hē koe ka pā ki tō whakaute whānui, ahakoa kāore tō hoa i whakaaro pērā. 

Koinei te wāhi iti haumaru aronganui He āwhina ngā nekehanga tinana, pērā i te maioha tetahi ki tetahi, he āwhina. 

• Ina e whakaaro ana koe he mea nui koe, kāore ngā whakahē i ētahi wā e whakangaro i tōu mana ake
• Ina rongo koe i te arotakenga tonu, ka kaha ake tō tiaki 

Te pānui e pā ana: 7 Ngā Tohu mō te Wehenga me Mōhio Koe

3. Ngā tauira aro atu ki te tamarikitanga

Pērā i te maha o ngā āwangawanga me ngā tohu whero, ka puta te āwangawanga i te mamae o tō tamarikitanga nā te mahi āwangawanga. Mena i tiaki koe i a koe i tō tamarikitanga mai i te raruraru, i te pōrearea, i te mamae kare ā-roto rānei, ehara i te mea miharo kei te pupuri tonu koe i taua mea mō te wā roa. E wehi ana koe kei... hinga i te aroha ka whakarērea rānei koe nā ngā hapa, ā, koinei anake te huarahi e mōhio ana koe ki te whakatau i te raru.

"Kei te māharahara ahau nā te mea e wehi ana ahau kei whakarērea ahau. E manawapa ana ahau kei hē aku whakaaro, nō reira e hiahia ana ahau ki te tiaki i taku ara kia kore ai ahau e mahue ki muri."

- Kaiwhakamahi Reddit

Te Pānga o te Tiaki ki ngā Hononga

Ko te mea nui, ko te tiaki i ngā whanaungatanga ka tiaki i a koe mai i te mamae; engari ka ārai anō hoki i ngā whanonga e hanga ana i te whakawhirinaki: te kawenga, te aroha, te whakatikatika, me te te whakaoti rapangaNō reira, ahakoa he pai te āhua mō te wā poto, ka pakaru tō whanaungatanga i te wā e haere ake nei mā te tiaki i a koe anō. Kia mārama tātou he mekameka take me te pānga:

• Ina tūpato koe, ka nui haere te pakanga, kaua e whakatauria 
• Ka nui ake te kaha o te tiaki i te tangata nā te mea e whakaaro ana rātou kāore rātou i te arohia, i te whakapaetia rānei
• Ko te "tiaki i a koe anō" ka huri hei "whakapae i tō hoa," ā, ka piki haere te tautohetohe. 

• Ināianei, ka noho ko te tautohetohe hei kaupapa matua, ā, ka waiho ngā raruraru tuturu ki te taha, ka warewarehia hoki.
• Nā tēnei, ka puta ngā patunga kare ā-roto, ā, ka tipu haere tonu te mauahara i ia tautohe. 
• Koinei te tino kino: kāore te raruraru e whakatauhia, ā, ka pāngia tonutia te whanaungatanga. 
• Ina kore tō hoa e whakarongohia, ka mutu tā rātou whakahua i ngā mea

• Ina noho tēnei hei mahi noa, ka tawhiti te kare ā-roto. Ka noho haumaru ake te noho puku, te wehe, te riri rānei i te ngana ki te whakatika. 
• Ka roa te wā, ka puta te whakaaro "e hikoi ana i runga i ngā anga hua manu": ka karohia e kōrua ngā kaupapa nā te mea kua mōhio kē kōrua ki te mutunga o te tuhinga. 

Ka tino kino te tiaki i te marena nā te mea ko te mea kotahi nga take kaore ano kia whakatauhia kia mau tonu te whakahou: 

• Kaipapa
• tamariki
• Money
• Te aroha
• Te wā
• I roto i ngā ture

Ka tino kitea te kaha o ngā pakanga, ka tino hoha hoki, ā, ka tīmata koe ki te hanga i tētahi kōrero kino mō ngā hihiri o tō hoa. 

Me pēhea te whakamutu i te tiaki i roto i te whanaungatanga

Ki te hiahia koe ki te huringa e mau tonu ana, e rua ngā taumata e mahi ai koe: te tinana tuatahi, te hinengaro tuarua. Ina whakahohehia tō pūnaha, kāore e taea e koe te kōrero kia marino. Me marino koe kia pai ake ai te kōrero. Anei ētahi mahi whai hua hei āwhina i a koe ki te puta atu i tēnei huringa.

1. Tangohia te kawenga ahakoa he wāhanga noa iho

Tīmata i konei nā te mea koinei te taputapu tere rawa atu hei whakaiti i te riri. Ko te rongoā mō te ārai i te riri ko te whakaae ki te kawenga mō tō tūranga i roto i te āhuatanga, ahakoa he wāhanga noa iho o te pakanga. 

Ka whai hua tēnei nā te mea ka huri i te tikanga kare ā-roto o te wā. Ka mutu te whakaaro o tō hoa me whakaatu e ia tōna pono. Ka tīmata ia ki te whakaaro kei te taha kotahi kōrua.

Ngā tuhinga whai hua ka taea e koe te kī:

• "He tika tāu mō taua wāhanga. I ngaro i ahau." 
• "Ka kite ahau i te kino o te pānga mai o tēnā. Kāore i te tino tika, engari e mārama ana ahau ki te pānga." 
• "Kei te tīmata taku ārai. Homai he meneti. Kei te hiahia ahau ki te whakarongo ki a koe." 

Ki te mea kei roto koe i te āhua tiaki i roto i te marena, ka taea e tēnei pūkenga te whakarerekē i te pāmahana kare ā-roto o te whare katoa nā te mea ka taea anō te whakatau i te pakanga. 

Te pānui e pā ana: 16 Ngā Tohu o Ngā Tāne Pōuri, Me Pēhea Te Whakatau i a Rātou

2. Whakamutua i mua i te tauhohe

Kāore te okiokinga e tohu ana kei te whakaae koe ki te kawenga katoa. Kei te hoatu noa e koe he wā ki tō pūnaha io kia tau ai, kia taea ai e koe te whiriwhiri i te urupare tika. Ko te riri e kitea ana, ko te pakanga pea rānei i tēnei take, ka whakahohe i te rerenga i roto i te roro me te tinana e tere haere ana, i ētahi wā i mua i te taea e koe te aro turuki i te mea e tupu ana. Koia te take ka tere ai te rongo kua tahaetia koe. Nō reira, i mua i tō whakautu:

• Kia māhorahora te manawa i mua i te kōrero
• Tukua ō pakihiwi
• Wetekina tō kauae
• Mea atu, "E hiahia ana ahau ki te whakautu pai. Tukua ahau kia whakaaro mō tētahi wā poto" 

Ki te raru koe i te koretake o te whakahaere i ngā kare ā-roto, ka whai hua nui tēnei okiokinga mōu te taupatupatu tautohe. 

Te pānui e pā ana: Me aha koe ina tata pakaru tō whanaungatanga?

3. Whakamanahia ngā kare ā-roto o tō hoa

Ko te whakamana i ngā kare ā-roto o tō hoa, ehara i te mea kei te whakaae koe kei te hē koe. He huarahi noa iho tēnei kia rangona ai rātou. He mea nui tēnei nā te mea he maha ngā pakanga ehara i te mea mō ngā meka engari mō te momotu kare ā-roto.” Ina pouri tō hoa, he maha ā rātou pātai, “He mea nui ahau ki a koe i tēnei wā?” Ko te whakamana ka penei:

• "He tika tēnā. Ka kite ahau he aha koe i pērā ai ngā whakaaro" 
• "E rongo ana ahau i a koe. I pēhia koe" 
• "Ka kite ahau he mea nui tēnei. Kōrero mai anō" 

ki te whakamanatanga aronganui, kei te neke koe mai i te reo aromatawai me te reo whakahaere ki te aroha me te arotahi ki te raruraru, e whakaiti ana i te āhua tiaki. 

Whakamātauria te whakakapi i tō urupare ā-whakaaro ki tētahi pātai e akiaki ana i tō roro ki te whakarongo:

• "Ko tēhea wāhanga o tēnei i tino mamae ai koe?" 
• "He aha tāu e hiahia ana mai i ahau a te wā e whai ake nei?" 
• "Mō te kaupapa motuhake tēnei, he mea nui ake rānei kei raro iho?" 

4. Whakamahia ngā tohu wā mutu

Ina werawera ngā āhuatanga, ā, ka ngaro tō mana whakahaere, me whai huarahi putanga kua whakaaetia i mua. Waihangahia 

he tohu wā whakatā, he kupu, he tohu ngāwari rānei e tohu ana "kei te tīmata tātou te ārai i a tātou anō, me mutu tā tātou mahi." Whakamahia tēnei tohu ina kite koe i te nekehanga hei ārai i ngā mea kei hē te whakahaere.

I te wā okiokinga: 

• Ka mahi koe i tētahi mea whakamarie
• Kaua e aro nui ki te raruraru, kaua hoki e whakaharatau i ō tautohetohe i roto i te rūma whakawā 
• Kia marino koe, hoki mai ka tīmata anō te kōrero 

5. Whakamahia he tīmatanga mārie ina puta mai he raruraru

Tae noa mai ki tēnei wā, kua arotahi tēnei wāhanga ki te whakapai ake i te hoa tiaki. Engari ka taea hoki e te tokorua te whakaiti i te tiaki mā te whakarerekē i te huarahi e whakaarahia ai ngā take i te tuatahi.

He rite te āhua o te tīmatanga ngawari: 

• Ka ārahi koe me te ngākau aroha
• Whakaahuahia te āhuatanga me te kore he whakapae

Ā, me tono mārama 

Hei tauira, "E pōuri ana ahau ina waiho noa te kīhini pēnei i te pō katoa. Me tautuhi anō e tāua i mua i te moe." 

Ka whakaitihia ngā whakapae e kitea ana, ā, ka iti ake hoki te tūponotanga o tō hoa ki te ārai i a koe anō. 

6. Hangaia he haumaru ā-roto mā te whakaū tere i a koe anō

Whakaaetanga whaiaro rangahau e kī ana, ina piri koe ki tētahi āhua pumau o te whaiaro, ka taea e koe te whakaae ki ngā kōrero whakamataku me te iti ake o te tiaki. Ki te mea ka tiaki koe nā te mea he iti te kiritau ā, nā te mea e ahua ana kei te hē koe i ngā urupare katoa, ka taea e koe te whakaharatau ki te whakaū i tētahi uara e whai tikanga ana ki a koe i mua atu, i roto rānei i ngā kōrero uaua. Anei tāu e mahi ai:

• Kōwhiria tētahi uara e hiahia ana koe kia ora ai, pērā i te tika, te tipu, te pono, te marino, te ngākau pono rānei
• Pātai atu ki a koe anō: “He aha tētahi huarahi e ngana ai ahau ki te whai i tēnei uara?”
• Kātahi ka hoki anō ki te kōrero me te whāinga kia mārama tuatahi, kātahi ka whakamārama 

Me pēhea te mahi tahi me tētahi hoa tiaki

Ki te mea ka ārai tō hoa, ko tō hiahia tuatahi pea ko: 

• Pana kaha ake
• Whakarārangihia ngā taunakitanga
• Me whakanui rānei tō reo kia "māramahia ai" 

He tata tonu te hoki whakamuri o tēnā, nā te mea ka puta te whakahē i te āhua tiaki, ā, ka puta ake anō hoki te whakahē. Anei me pēhea te pupuri i tō taha taunekeneke kia ma, me te kore e noho mangere.

• Tīmata ki te reo kare ā-roto, kaua ki te ngākau māhaki. Mena kei te whakaatu tō reo i te mana whakahaere, i te hiranga rānei, ka tere ake te whakaoho o te urupare whakamataku a te tangata kē.
• Whakamahia ngā kōrero "Kei te rongo ahau" me tētahi tono motuhake
• Kaua e tautohetohe mō ngā meka ina kaha rawa ngā kare ā-roto. Mena kei te whakaemihia e tō hoa ngā meka, ka taea e koe te kī: "Ka taea e tāua te whakatika i ngā taipitopito ā muri ake nei. Kei te hiahia ahau ki te kōrero mō te pānga." 
• Karangahia he wā okioki ina ngaro tō mana whakahaere
• Ki te mea he roa te wā e mau tonu ana te tauira, kōrerohia te tauira i te wā e marino ana. I te wā marino, ka taea e koe te kī: "Ina whakaarahia e au tētahi āwangawanga, he maha ngā wā ka pehia e koe, ka tohu rānei i taku hē, ā, ka mutu ka hē ahau." te whakaaro kāore i te arohia" 
• Ki te mea kei te pāngia koe e te āhua tiaki i roto i te marena, i te whanaungatanga rānei, ā, e honoa ana ki ngā kupu whakatoi, ngā whakamataku, ngā tūmomo whakawehi, ngā whakaitinga rānei, me whakaaro koe he take haumaru tēnā, kaua he momo whakawhitiwhiti kōrero. I taua wā, kāore e ranea ngā tohutohu whakawhitiwhiti kōrero whānui, ā, ko te āwhina ngaio te mea e hiahiatia ana e koe.

Whakautu parepare	Urupare Hauora
Ngā whakapae a te hoa	Ka tango i te kawenga mō tā rātou wāhanga
Ka hanga kupukore	Ka whakaae ki te hapa, ā, ka whakapau kaha ki te whakatika
Nga whakaekea	Whakarongo pukumahi, ā, ka pātai i ngā pātai whakamārama
Ka whakakore i ngā kare ā-roto	Whakamana i ngā kare ā-roto, ā, ka noho hono tonu
Ka tautohe mō ngā meka	Arotahi ana ki te pānga me ngā hiahia
Ka kati, ka pā mai rānei he āwhā	Ka whakamahi i te wā whakatā, ā, ka hoki mai i te wā tika

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Ngā Whakaaro Whakamutunga

Ka taea e te tiaki i roto i ngā whanaungatanga te whakakino puku i ngā hononga kaha, ahakoa kāore koe e mōhio i taua wā tonu. Ko te mea e rite ana ki te tiaki i a koe anō he tauhohenga ki ngā whakahe e kitea ana, e akiakihia ana e ngā kare ā-roto, te kore haumaru i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, ngā tauira tawhito rānei. Engari ko te pono, ko te noho tonu i roto i taua porowhita whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tiaki ka nui ake te tawhiti me te kore mārama. Ka tīmata te nekehanga ina mutu koe, ka tango i te kawenga ahakoa he iti noa, ka whiriwhiri i te mārama i te tauhohe.

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