Me pēhea te kimi i te rangimārie i muri i te tinihangatia — 9 ngā tohutohu mai i tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro

Porohia te aroha

Whakaarohia tēnei: kua kitea e koe kua tinihanga tō tāne i a koe me tana hoa mahi i a koe e hapu ana i te tau kua hipa. Ā, kei te pouri koe, e ngana ana ki te whakaora i ngā toenga o tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Kei te mamae koe, kei te pōuri hoki. I tētahi wā ka hiahia koe ki te muru i te hara o tō tāne, me te hohou i te rongo ki te āhuatanga, i tētahi wā ka hiahia koe ki te momotu i ngā hononga ki a ia, me te whakaako i a ia i tētahi akoranga mō te moe tāne i muri i a koe. He mea noa te kore mōhio ki te aha me te pēhea te kimi i te rangimārie i muri i te tinihanga!

Ā, kua tae mai koe ki te wāhi tika mēnā kei roto koe i tēnei raruraru. I roto i tēnei tuhinga, ka tirohia e tātou ngā pānga o te tinihangatia, ā, ka kitea me pēhea te whakatau i tēnei āhuatanga. Mā te kaitohutohu whanaungatanga a Dhriti Bhavsar (tohu Paerua i roto i te Hinengaro, me te tohungatanga ki te Hinengaro Haumanu), he tohunga ki te whanaungatanga, te wehenga, me te tohutohu LGBTQ, tātou e āwhina ki te tūhura i ngā huarahi hei hohou i te rongo ki te tinihangatia. Nō reira, me murua e koe te tangata tinihanga? Āe, me ruku hohonu tātou kia mārama ai…

Pānui e pā ana: I taumau māua engari i tinihanga taku hoa wahine

Ngā Pānga o te Tinihangatia

Ripanga o Ihirangi

Nā, he aha te āhua o te tinihangatia? Ā, he aha te uaua o te mahi ki te hunga e aroha tonu ana ki tā rātou hoa rangatira, ki tā rātou hoa rānei e tinihanga ana ? Ka meinga te tāne kia whakaititia? He aha ngā kare ā-roto o te wahine i muri i te tinihangatia? Anei ngā kōrero a tētahi kaiwhakamahi Reddit mō tana wheako: "Kua tohua ahau hei tāne i tinihangatia e tana wahine, ā, i whakarērea e ia mō tētahi atu tāne. Kāore au i hiahia ki te takaro i tēnei mahi, engari anei ahau, kua tohua hei kaiārahi. Kua memeha katoa, kua hina, me i taea e au te moe i te rā katoa ka pena ahau. E wehi ana ahau ki te ara ake, ka tīmata tonu me te mooni o te āhuatanga, ngā whakaaro me ngā whakaahua pokanoa. He nui te pānga o te tinihanga ki te hunga e tinihangatia ana, e miharo ana ahau ki te hunga ka taea te hanga anō me te neke atu."

I mua i tā tātou tūhuratanga me pēhea te kimi i te rangimārie i muri i te tinihangatia, me rapu tātou i te pānga o te tinihanga ki te hunga e whiwhi ana i te tinihanga. Kua whakarārangihia e tā mātou tohunga, e Dhriti, ētahi pānga o te tinihangatia, i runga i ana taunekeneke me āna kiritaki. Anei:

Mō ētahi atu māramatanga tautokona e ngā tohunga, ohauru mai ki tā mātou YouTube Channel.

1. Ka whakaiti i te whakaaro nui ki a ia anō

Ka tino whakaitihia te whakaaro nui o te tangata ki a ia anō ina tinihangatia ia. E kī ana a Dhriti, "Tērā pea ka kitea e koe anō e pātai ana ki ngā mea i hapa i a koe, i ngā mea rānei i hē i roto i te whanaungatanga, ā, ka mutu ka pātai koe ki tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō." Nō reira, i roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ka tīmata pea koe ki te ruarua:

Tō whakapau kaha ki te whanaungatanga
Ōu āhua
Tōu mātauranga
Tō pūkenga moepuku
To mana tuuturu

Koinei te pānga o te puremu ki te wahine me te tāne.

2. Ka whakarerekē i tō kaha ki te whakawhirinaki

Nā, he aha ngā kare ā-roto o te wahine i muri i te tinihangatia? He aha ngā kare ā-roto o te tāne ina tinihangatia ia? E kī ana a Dhriti, "Mā te tinihangatia ka pātai koe ehara i te mea ko tō hoa rangatira anake engari ko tō whakaaro ake (tae atu ki ētahi atu tāngata i tō taha). Ka tīmata koe ki te whakaaro, "Mēnā ka taea e te tangata kotahi i whakawhirinaki nui ahau te mahi i tēnei ki ahau, me pēhea taku whakawhirinaki ki ētahi atu kia kaua e mahi i te mea kotahi?" Ka tino pakaru hoki koe i te mōhio kua tukinotia tō whakawhirinaki. Ā, tera pea ka aro atu koe ki te wehi kei tinihangatia anō koe."

Nō reira, tērā pea ka noho koe hei tangata kawa, kāore e taea te whakawhirinaki ki tētahi . Haunga tēnā, he hononga tata ngā take hauora hinengaro pērā i te manukanuka me te tinihanga. Nō reira, tērā pea ka pāngia koe e ngā āhuatanga tino kino i muri i te tinihangatia i a koe e tūtaki ana ki tētahi āhuatanga e hiahia ana koe ki te whakawhirinaki ki tētahi.

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3. Tērā pea ka puta te riri me te kawa ki a koe

E whakapono ana a Dhriti, "Ina tinihanga tetahi i a koe, ka puta he whakaaro hē mō tētahi mea mamae e pā ana ki a koe. Ā, ko te tikanga o tēnā ka arahi ki te riri ki te tangata nāna i meinga taua mamae (me koe anō hoki, mō te hoatutanga i te mana ki a rātou kia mamae koe). Ā tōna wā, ka huri hei kawa, ā, ka puta hei ranunga o te riri me te pouri hohonu, ko ngā pānga e rua o te tinihangatia."

Ā, e whakaae ana mātou koinei te pānga o te tinihanga ki te wahine, ki te tāne rānei. I pāngia tētahi kaiwhakamahi Reddit e tētahi wheako rite tonu: "E hiahia ana ahau ki te karo i te kawa/riri e noho ana i roto i ahau i te kitenga i ētahi o ana tinihanga. Engari ki taku whakaaro ko te kore e mōhiotia te maha o ana tinihanga me ērā atu mea e whakakaha ana i te riri/kawa e noho ana i roto i ahau, pērā i ngā waro e mura ana e tatari ana kia mura anō. E kino ana ahau ki te riri. He tino hoha."

4. Ka maka koe ki roto i te koretake

Ko tētahi o ngā pānga kino rawa atu o te mamae o te kore whakapono ko te panaia o te hoa kua tinihangatia ki roto i te koretake. E whakamārama ana a Dhriti, "Ka ngaro te haumaru me te haumaru i pā ki a koe me tō hoa. Ka huri koe mai i te mōhio ki te āhua o āpōpō me te whakamahere mōna, ki te kore whakaaro, kāore e mōhio ki te mea hei mahi, hei tumanako rānei." Ka taea e tēnei te pā kino ki ō mahere ā meake nei. Nō reira, tera pea kua:

Te penapena hei whakanui i tētahi tohu paetae whanaungatanga, ā, me whakarērea te whakaaro ināianei
Kei te whakarite tahi māua ki te hoko whare hou, ā, me hoki whakamuri anō ināianei
Kei te whakarite koe ki te wehe atu i tāu mahi hei tiaki i ngā tamariki, ā, me whakaaro anō pea koe ki tāu mahere ināianei

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5. E tino mamae ana tō hinengaro

Kua whakaatuhia e ngā rangahau he uaua te wehenga o te hoa rangatira , ā, tata tonu ka puta ngā whakaaro kino me te mamae tinana. Ā, mēnā kua wehe kōrua i tō hoa rangatira i muri i te tinihanga, he rite tonu te āhua.

E kī ana a Dhriti, "Kua whakaritea tātou kia piri, ā, he tino mamae te ngaronga o tēnei piri nā te mea he rite tonu te urupare a tō tātou roro ki tēnei mamae ki te mamae tinana. He ngaronga o te hononga, te piri, te whakamana, me te haumaru. Ka puta te mamae hinengaro i muri i te tinihangatia."

9 Ngā Tohutohu i Tohutohutia e te Kaiwhakaora Hauora mō te Kimi i te Rangimārie i Muri i te Tinihangatia

Nā, kua mōhio koe ki te āhua o te tinihangatia me ngā pānga ka pā mai, kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te kimi i te rangimārie i muri i te tinihangatia? Ā, me murua rānei e koe te hara o te tangata tinihanga? Ā, he aha te mea ka tupu i muri i te memeha haere o te ohorere tuatahi?

Anei te whakamārama a tētahi kaiwhakamahi Reddit i tana wikitoria i te tinihanga: "... i pā mai ngā mamae o mua nā te tinihanga, te waiho i ahau mō ētahi atu, tae atu ki te tutu, kāore au i whakaaro i roto i ngā tau maha ka wikitoria ahau. Engari i pena ahau. Ā, i memeha haere i roto i te wā. Ko te mea hei āwhina i ahau ko te rangahau i te HE AHA i tinihanga ai te tangata, me te mōhio kei roto i a RĀTOU te take. Ehara i te mea he pai ake, he pai ake rānei te tangata kē atu, kāore rānei koe i te ranea. Āe, he maha ngā wā ka pai ake te tangata e tinihangatia ana i roto i ngā huarahi maha ki te whakataurite ki te tangata e tinihangatia ana e tōna hoa. E mōhio ana ahau ehara i te mea pai ki te whakataurite, engari i ētahi wā he āwhina te kite i tēnā."

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He rerekē te huarahi e pā ana ki te whakatau i tētahi whiu nui pērā i te tinihanga, arā, te whiunga. Kāore he tikanga kotahi e pai ana mō te katoa ina tae mai ki te kimi huarahi hei whakatau i te tinihangatia. Kāore hoki he rongoā makutu. Ko te mea e pai ana mō tētahi tangata, kāore pea e pai mō tētahi atu. Heoi, mā te whakamahi i ētahi tikanga hauora hei whakaora i te mamae ka āwhina. E iwa ngā tohutohu a Dhriti hei āwhina i a koe ki te rapu huarahi hei kimi i te rangimārie i muri i te tinihangatia:

1. Tukua koe kia wheako i ō kare ā-roto kino katoa

E whakaaro ana a Dhriti, "He mea nui kia whakapuaki noa i ngā whakaaro kino, i ngā kare ā-roto rānei e pā mai ana ki a koe, i roto i te wāhi haumaru, i roto hoki i te huarahi hauora. He maha ngā tāngata e mamae ana, nā te mea e whakapono ana rātou "me" pērā tonu ō rātou kare ā-roto, ehara i te mea ko te āhua o ō rātou kare ā-roto tūturu. Āe, he tikanga kei roto i ia kare ā-roto, nō reira kia aro atu ki ō kare ā-roto, kaua e oma atu i aua kare ā-roto."

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakaora i muri i te tinihanga

Ahakoa ka akiakihia koe e ō hoa, e ō whanaunga rānei kia huna ō kare ā-roto, hoatu he wā me he wāhi ki a koe anō kia rongo i ō kare ā-roto katoa. Tukua kia riri koe, kia pōuri, kia whakama. Mā tēnei koe e āwhina ki te mahi i te taahiraa tuatahi ki te rapu huarahi hei kimi i te rangimārie i muri i te tinihanga.

2. Tautuhia nga rohe

Ki te kore tonu koe e mōhio me pēhea te whakatau i te tinihangatia, he otinga pai tēnei. I mua i tō whakatau i te pātai 'me murua e koe te tangata tinihanga', ngana ki te whakatakoto i ngā rohe pumau. E kī ana a Dhriti, "He mea nui kia mōhio koe ki ō hiahia me ō rohe, kātahi ka whakatūturu i aua rohe ki tō hoa." Ko te muru i te tinihanga me whakaatu hoki e koe ki a ia ngā mea kāore koe e pai ana. Koinei te huarahi hei whakatau i te tinihangatia mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki te haere tonu i te whanaungatanga:

taea e koe whakaritea he rohe mō te wāhi whaiaro, te tono kia noho motuhake i roto i ngā rūma, kia wehe atu rānei tetahi i tetahi kia tae rā anō ki tētahi whakataunga
Ka taea e koe te tono kia mārama katoa, kia mutu rānei, me te tono kia whakamārama mai rātou he aha i pērā ai rātou i mua i tō anga whakamua.
Ka taea e koe te tono kia mārama rawa te whanaungatanga, kia mōhio ai tō hoa kāore koe e whakaae ki ngā kōrero teka me ngā mea ngaro anō.

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3. Kaua e whakapae i a koe anō

He mea tino maori te whakapae i a koe anō i ēnei wā raruraru mō:

Kāore i te pai ki te moenga
Kāore i te whakapaipai kia ātaahua ai te āhua
Kāore e whakarongo ki ā rātou amuamu

Ka mutu pea koe ki te whakapae i a koe anō, me te kōrero kino ki a koe anō mō ngā mahi tinihanga a tō hoa. E kī ana a Dhriti, "Kaua e taka ki te porowhita whakapae i a koe anō. Tērā pea kua puta kē ngā raruraru whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga i mua i te whakapanga a te hoa tinihanga i te mamae o te kore whakapono ki tā rātou hoa. He mea nui kia wehewehe i waenga i te tango kawenga mō tētahi take me te tango i te whakapae mō te tinihanga." Kia maumahara, he kōwhiringa te tinihanga.

4. Kaua e hohoro te whakatau

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te muru i te hara o tētahi hoa tāne , hoa wahine rānei e tinihanga ana, ā, e kore rawa e puta i te pō kotahi. Nō reira, kia mahara, kāore he take kia whakatau tonu koe. Mena kei te whakaaro tonu koe, "Me noho tonu ahau ki tētahi tangata tinihanga, me wehe atu rānei?", ko tā Dhriti tohutohu, "Kaua e whakatau wawe, nā te riri, nā te wehi rānei. Hoatu he wā ki a koe anō hei whakahaere i ō kare ā-roto i mua i te tango i tō taahiraa e whai ake nei." Mā tēnei, ka taea hoki e koe te kimi i te pūtake o tēnei tinihanga, ā, mā tēnei ka māmā ake te mārama me pēhea te kimi i te rangimārie i muri i te tinihangatia.

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5. Whakawhirinaki ki tō pūnaha tautoko

Ahakoa ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakaora i muri i te tinihanga , he nui te āwhina i a koe i tēnei wā ki te noho tahi me tō porowhita o roto. E kī ana a Dhriti, "He mea nui rawa kia whai pūnaha tautoko pāpori koe. Me whakauru atu ki tēnei ko ngā tāngata hei āwhina i a koe kia noho haumaru, kia manaakitia hoki. Tērā pea ko tō pūnaha tautoko ā-roto: ngā mea me ngā mahi hei kawe mai i te harikoa, te whai hua, me te hononga ki a koe. Nō reira, haere tonu:

Kōrero ki tō hoa pai, ki tō whānau rānei
Haere ki tētahi haerenga whakaora tinana, haere rānei me ō hoa rangatira
Haere ki te whare takaro tinana, mahi rānei i tētahi mahi whakangahau pēnei i te peita, te hākinakina, te māra rānei
Pānuihia te pukapuka hou nā tō kaituhi tino pai

6. Rapua he āwhina ngaio

Ki te kore e angitu ngā mahi katoa, whakapā atu ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro ngaio, ki tētahi kaitohutohu whanaungatanga rānei. E kī ana a Dhriti, "Ka taea e tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro whai raihana te āwhina i a koe ki te aro ki ngā wāhi motuhake e ārai ana i te neke whakamua, ā, ka māmā ake te whakaora i muri i te wehenga nā te kore whakapono. Ka taea e rātou te mahi i te mamae i roto i te huarahi hauora me te whai hua."

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Kia mōhio koe he hononga tahi ngā mate hinengaro pēnei i te manukanuka me te tinihanga. I ētahi wā, ka pāngia te tangata e te pouri i muri i te tinihanga. Koia te mea nui kia aro nui koe ki tō hauora hinengaro. Ka taea e koe te whakaaro ki te haere ki te whakaora hinengaro mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine, ki te whiriwhiri rānei i te whakaora hinengaro takitahi. Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe ki te tiki āwhina, kaua e mangere ki te whakapā atu ki ngā ratonga tohutohu a Bonobology.

7. Kia tūpato ki ngā mea e ngau kino ana ki tōu ake mana

E kī ana a Dhriti, "Ko te tinihanga o tō hoa rangatira te mea nui ake mō rātou i tōu. He mea nui kia tiakina tō whakaaro mōu ake, kaua hoki e manukanuka ki ngā whakaaro o te tangata mōu." Tērā pea ka pāngia koe e te mate ahotea i muri i te tinihanga , nō reira he mea nui kia kaua e whakaurua ki roto i a koe te tinihanga. Engari kaua e tukua ki te reo iti i roto i tō mahunga e kī ana ko koe te kawenga mō tēnei, kati mā te kaha. Koinei tētahi o ngā mahi matua mēnā kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te kimi i te rangimārie i muri i te tinihanga.

8. Tukua kia haere

He mea nui kia taea te tuku i ētahi mea, ahakoa kei te murua e koe te hara o tētahi tangata tinihanga, kei te neke atu rānei i te whanaungatanga. Mēnā kua tinihanga tō hoa i a koe me te kore aroha, ngana ki te tuku atu , ka arotahi ki a koe anō. E kī ana a Dhriti, "Me mahi kia whakaaetia, kia tukuna atu hoki. Kia manawanui ki a koe anō i roto i tēnei tukanga, ā, kia mahara ko te tuku atu he kōwhiringa nāu hei oranga ngākau. Ehara i te mea he mea e nama ana koe ki tētahi. Mēnā kāore koe i te rite mō tēnā, kāore koe e hiahia ki te akiaki. Heoi, he mea nui te whakaae ki te kaupapa kia taea ai e koe te neke atu i tēnā."

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9. Whakauru atu ki ngā mahi manaaki me te aroha ki a koe anō

I mua i te murunga hara i te tangata i tinihanga, he nui ngā mahi ā-roto e hiahiatia ana. Kia mahara ki te tiaki i a koe anō. He nui te tiaki i a koe anō hei whakaora i muri i te tinihangatia. E kī ana a Dhriti, "He mea tino nui te whanaketanga whaiaro me ngā mahi tiaki i a koe anō i tēnei wā, inā koa karekau koe e hiahia ki te uru atu ki aua mahi. He mea whakamīharo, ko te wā kāore tātou e hiahia ki te tiaki i a tātou anō i te wā e tino hiahia ana tātou ki te tiaki i a tātou anō." E whakaaro ana ia ki ētahi huarahi hei whakatau i ngā mea whakararu i muri i te tinihangatia, ā, ko ētahi o ēnei ko te tiaki i:

Ngā matea ā-tinana taketake: Kia nui te moe, ā, kia whai i tētahi kai hauora, taurite hoki. Āta karohia ngā kai paraurehe, ngā kai kare ā-roto rānei.
Ngā hiahia mō te haumaru me te tiaki: Kia tino noho koe ki tētahi wāhi haumaru. Neke atu i tō kāinga mēnā kāore koe e pai ki te noho tahi me tētahi tangata tinihanga, ki te mea rānei kei te pāngia koe e te pouri i muri i te tinihangatia.
Ngā hiahia mō te noho tahi: Kia tino whakatū hononga koe ki ētahi atu e karapoti ana i a koe

Me aha koe ina tinihangatia koe - noho, haere rānei?

Nā, kua mōhio koe ki te kimi i te rangimārie i muri i te tinihanga, ka tae atu mātou ki tāu pātai e whai ake nei, "Me murua e koe te tangata tinihanga?" He mea nui ake, ka whai hua ngā whanaungatanga i muri i te tinihanga? E whakapono ana a Dhriti, "He whakatau whaiaro te noho tahi me te tangata tinihanga, te wehe atu rānei i muri i te whanaungatanga. Nā te mea he ahurei ia whanaungatanga, pērā i ngā tāngata e hanga ana i taua whanaungatanga. Nō reira, kāore he whakautu tika, he whakautu hē rānei kua whakaritea mō tēnei pātai."

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Heoi, ki tāna whakaaro me whakaaro koe ki ētahi mea i mua i tō whakatau mō te aha me mahi ina tinihangatia koe. Nō reira, pātai atu ki a koe anō ēnei pātai mēnā kei te whakaaro koe, "Me noho tonu ahau ki te taha o tētahi tangata tinihanga?"

Kei te pouri tō hoa mō āna mahi, ā, kei te pono tana whakapāha?
Ka taea e tō hoa te whakaae i te kawenga mō āna mahi?
Kei te whakaaro koe kei a koe te mana ki te whakawhirinaki anō ki a rātou? Kāore rānei, ka nui tonu te wehi kei tinihangatia koe?
He aha ngā mea e hiahiatia ana kia ora ai koe?
Ka taea e tō hoa te whakarato i ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e koe hei whakahoki mai i te whanaungatanga, ka huri rānei tō kōrua hononga hei mea pumau ake? te whanau paitini?

Hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau whakaaro nui, whai whakaaro nui hoki, kua kohikohia e mātou ētahi kōrero hei whakamārama i ngā painga me ngā huakore o te noho tahi me te tangata tinihanga, me te wehe atu.

Ngā painga me ngā huakore o te noho

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te muru i te hara o te tangata nāna koe i tinihanga noa. Engari me paunatia e koe ngā painga me ngā huakore o tēnei take:

Ngā painga o te noho	Ngā huakore o te noho
Ka harikoa koe i te mōhio kua whakamātau koe.	He nui te mahi, te wā, me te manawanui e hiahiatia ana hei wikitoria i tēnei. Ehara i te mea ngāwari te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki.
Ka taea e kōrua te whakapakari ake i tō kōrua whanaungatanga i tētahi atu taha, mā te mārama ake o kōrua tetahi ki tetahi, me te mārama ake hoki tetahi ki tetahi.	Tērā pea ka mau tonu ō ruarua mō te wā roa kei te heke mai.
He whakaohooho pea tēnei mō te aro atu ki ngā ngā raruraru i roto i tō whanaungatanga.	Kei te mau tonu te wehi kei tinihangatia anōtia.
I ētahi wā, ka kaha ake te putanga mai o te tinihanga i roto i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine	Ka heke pea te whakaaro nui ki a ia anō mēnā kāore e ata whakahaerehia.

Ngā painga me ngā huakore o te wehenga atu

Ki te whakaaro koe ko te whakautu ki te pātai, "Ka pai te whanaungatanga i muri i te tinihanga?", he 'kāo' tino kaha, ā, kei te whakaaro koe ki te whakarērea tō hoa tinihanga, anei ētahi painga me ngā huakore o taua whakatau:

Ngā painga o te wehe atu	Ngā huakore o te wehenga atu
Ka hoki mai anō tō whakaute ki a koe anō. Ko te wehenga atu i tētahi whanaungatanga kino pēnei he karere tino mārama mō ngā mea kāore koe e aro atu.	Tērā pea ka pāngia koe e te raruraru o ngā kare ā-roto. He nui te pouri, te mamae, me te ruarua e puta mai ana i te whakamutu i tētahi whanaungatanga, ahakoa te pai, te kino rānei.
Kei a koe te mana motuhake ki te tūhura i ētahi atu kōwhiringa me te whakangao i te wā me te kaha ki a koe anō.	Kāore i te tino mārama tōu heke mai, ā, mā te aha ka anga atu ai koe i konei ka nui ake te mamae.
Ka arotahi koe ki te tipu whaiaro, i a koe e ako ana ki te whakaora i a koe anō.	Ka mutu, ka ruarua koe, ā, ka taupokina koe e te mokemoke.
taea e koe haere atu i te whanaungatanga te pai ake o te whakaaro mōu ake.	Tērā pea he āwangawanga ā-tinana āu, pērā i ngā take pūtea, ngā āwangawanga mō te whakatipu tamariki ngātahi, ngā pēhanga pāpori, whakapono rānei, me te raruraru o te whai i ngā porowhita pāpori ōrite.

Tohutohu Matua

Ko ētahi o ngā pānga o te tinihangatia ko te iti o te whakaaro ki a ia anō, te koretake o te whakaaro, me te mamae hinengaro
Ko ētahi tohutohu a te kaiwhakaora hinengaro hei whakatau i tēnei āhuatanga ko te karo i te whakapae i a koe anō, te whakatakoto rohe, te kōrero ki ngā kaiwhakaora hinengaro whai raihana me te haere ki te kaunhera mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine, me te whakawhirinaki ki tō pūnaha tautoko.
Me paunatia ngā painga me ngā huakore o ngā kōwhiringa e rua, arā, te noho tonu, te wehe atu rānei i te whanaungatanga.

Nā te mea kua pānuihia e koe tā mātou tuhinga, ko te tumanako kua whiwhi koe i ngā māramatanga whai hua mō ngā pānga o te tinihangatia, ngā huarahi hei whakatau i te tinihangatia, me ngā painga me ngā huakore o te noho tonu, te wehe atu rānei i tētahi whanaungatanga i muri i te tinihangatia. Kia maumahara, he ngāwari te whakapae i tētahi āhuatanga me te mutu, engari me māia ki te noho ki muri me te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki.

Ahakoa tērā, he mea nui anō hoki kia mōhio koe ki ngā kare ā-roto o te whakaute, o te kino rānei i roto i te whanaungatanga. Kia kite koe kāore e taea te whakatika i tō whanaungatanga, kaua e mangere ki te wehe atu. Whakauru atu ki tētahi whanaungatanga hou, ki te tika. Engari me mahi i runga i tō ake hiahia. Me anga whakamua koe kia tipu ai koe, kia rangimārie ai hoki.

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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.