He aha te wairua narcissistic me pēhea te urupare ki a ia

Ehara te wairua whakahihi i te kupu, i te momo tukino rānei e rangona pinepinetia ana e tātou. Ko te tikanga o te wairua whakahihi ko te tangata e aroha nui ana ki a ia anō. Whakaarohia he tangata e hiahia tonu ana ki te aro atu, ā, kāore e aro ki ō kare ā-roto — he tangata whakahihi tēnā. Ko te wairua whakahihi ko te wā e mutu ohorere ai te kōrero a tetahi ki a koe, e ngaro atu rānei me te kore whakatūpato.

He tino hoha te mahi tahi me te tangata whakahihi. Ā, ina kite koe i te memeha haere o tō rātou whanaungatanga, i te ngaro whakarere rānei, ka uaua ake te mahi. Ko te kite i ngā tohu o te wairua whakahihi ka noho hei mea nui mō te hoa e whiwhi ana i te wairua whakahihi. Ki te hiahia koe ki te mōhio atu mō te tauira wairua whakahihi me te pehea e taea ai e koe te whakatau i tēnei, i kōrero mātou ki te tohunga hinengaro a Anita Eliza , (M.Sc. i roto i te Hinengaro Whaihua), he tohunga ki ngā take pēnei i te manukanuka, te pouri, ngā whanaungatanga, me te whakaaro nui ki a koe anō.

He aha te Wairua Narcissistic?

I mua i tā tātou kōrero mō ngā rautaki whakamataku a te tangata whakahihi me ngā take e huna ana koe e te tangata whakahihi, me mārama tātou ki te tikanga o te kupu. E kī ana a Anita, "Ko te whakahihi he āhuatanga o te tangata e kore ai e aroha ki a ia, e whakaatu ana i te hiahia tonu ki te whakamoemiti, ā, e whakaaro ana ko ia he mea nui ake i ētahi atu. Ko te whakahihi he wā ka mutu ohorere te kōrero a te tangata ki tētahi atu tangata me te kore he whakamārama. Ina whakakotahihia ēnei āhuatanga e rua, ka puta te whakahihi whakahihi, arā, ka mutu te whanaungatanga i te tangata whai āhua whakahihi me te kore e aro ki ngā kare ā-roto o tōna hoa."

E whakamārama ana ia, "Whakaarohia te whakaipoipo i tētahi e:

• E whakaaro nui ana ki a ia anō
• Ka motu whakarere i ngā whakapā katoa
• He rite ki te mea kāore i te nui te whanaungatanga
• Ka mutu te whanaungatanga kāore he take, he āwangawanga rānei mōu

"Koinā tonu te mahi a te tini o te hunga whakahihi." Tērā pea ka whakamahia e te hunga whakahihi te mahi whakapohehe hei rautaki whakahaere i te āhua o te kare ā-roto o tā rātou hoa. Tērā pea ka kite rātou i tēnei hei huarahi hei pupuri i te mana whakahaere i te whanaungatanga, hei karo hoki i ngā kōrero uaua, i te kawenga rānei mō ā rātou mahi. Ka tino kino pea tēnei whanonga ki te oranga o te kare ā-roto o te tangata kua whakapohehetia, nā te mea ka waiho rātou kia aro atu ki te whakapoauau, ki ngā pātai kāore anō kia whakautua, me ngā kare ā-roto kāore anō kia whakatauhia.

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He aha te take e whakapohehe ai te tangata narcissist i a koe?

He aha te take e huna ai koe e te tangata whakahihi? He aha te take o tēnei huringa tonu o te whakarērea? He nui te whakaaro nui o te hunga whakahihi ki a rātou anō, me te hiahia ki te whakahaere. Ā, ina mutu ohorere te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero katoa, me te mea kua mukua ohoreretia koe i tō rātou ao. He aha rātou i pērā ai? E ai ki a Anita, tera pea he maha ngā take:

1. Mā te kore o te aroha ka waiho te tangata whakahihi hei wairua mōu

E mea ana a Anita, "Tērā pea he uaua ki te hunga whakahihi te mārama ki te pānga o te wairua ki tētahi atu. Nā te uaua o te aroha ki te tangata, ka whakatairangahia e rātou ō rātou hiahia me ō rātou matea i runga ake i ngā kare ā-roto o ētahi atu."

Ko te aroha ki te tangata he mārama me te manaaki i ngā kare ā-roto o tētahi atu, engari ko te tangata whakahihi, e aro nui ana ki a ia anō, kāore e ngāwari ki te hono atu ki ngā kare ā-roto o ētahi atu. Ko te kore aroha ki te tangata whakahihi koia tēnei:

• Te kore e taea te mārama ki tā rātou hoa me ō rātou tika i roto i te whanaungatanga
• Te kore e taea te whakaaro ki te pānga o ngā pātai kāore anō kia whakautua, te pōhēhē, me te mamae
• He māmā noa iho te whakamutu ohorere i te katoa, me te kore e whai whakaaro ki te pānga kare ā-roto me te oranga o tō hoa.

2. Tērā pea kei te wehi rātou i te tautohetohe

He maha ngā wā ka uaua ki te hunga whakahihi te tango i te kawenga mō ā rātou mahi. E kī ana a Anita, "Tērā pea ka whiriwhiri te hunga whakahihi ki te ngaro atu, ki te huna rānei i a koe, kaua ki te aro atu ki te tautohetohe, ki ngā kōrero uaua rānei i te wā e whakamutu ana i tētahi whanaungatanga, e whakamārama ana rānei i ā rātou mahi." Me whai aroha me te kawenga te tautohetohe - he āhuatanga e kore e kitea i roto i te tangata whakahihi.

E mea ana tētahi kaiwhakamahi Quora, "Ka karohia e te hunga whakahihi te tūtaki ki ngā raruraru. Ki te mōhio rātou e hiahia ana koe ki ngā huringa i roto i te whanaungatanga, ka oma atu rātou, kaua e aro atu. Kāore e taea e rātou te aro atu ki te kaha e hiahiatia ana mō te whanaungatanga hauora ."

3. Ko tā rātou hiahia kia whakahaere te mea e whakahaere ana i ā rātou mahi katoa

Ka uru atu rātou ki tētahi momo wairua whakahihi huna, e āhei ai rātou ki te whakaatu i te mana whakahaere i runga i tā rātou hoa. E kī ana a Anita, "E hiahia ana te hunga whakahihi ki te mana whakahaere i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. Mā te wairua whakahihi ka taea e rātou te whakaatu i te mana whakahaere me te whakamutu i ngā mea me te kore e whakaaro ki ngā kare ā-roto o tētahi atu." Mā tēnei momo wairua whakahihi huna ka taea e rātou te:

• Whakarērea te whanaungatanga i runga i ā rātou tikanga
• Whakauru atu ki roto te poma aroha ā, ka whai mai ko te memeha haere o te whakapau kaha
• Haere atu me te kore e uru ki ngā kōrero uaua
• Kāore e whai kawenga mō ā rātou mahi
• Rawekeweke kare-a-roto

Hei tāna anō, "He maha ngā wā ka ngana te tangata whakahihi ki te karo i te tango kawenga mā te tuku i te whakapae ki ētahi atu tāngata. Mā te huna i te tangata, ka waiho te tangata kē atu kia kore e tino mōhio ki tana tūranga i roto i te pakaru o te whanaungatanga."

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4. Ka tinihangatia koe e te tangata whakahihi kia rapua he aro me he whakamana, mai i a koe, i tētahi atu rānei

E whakamārama ana a Anita, "E pai ana ki te hunga whakahihi te aro, te whakamoemiti, me te whakamana. Ki te whakaaro koe ki te kimi i te hunga whakahihi, ki te whakatū rānei i tētahi ture kore whakapā atu ki a rātou (i muri i tā rātou whakahokinga mai i te whakapā), ka taea e koe te whakaaro kāore e pai ki a rātou."

He aha rā te take e huna ai te hunga whakahihi i ō rātou hoa? E kī ana a Anita ki a tātou, "Ko te memeha haere o te aroha, te huna, te tapahi rānei i ngā whakawhitiwhiti kōrero katoa ki tētahi tangata me te kore take ka taea te whakamahi hei rautaki tinihanga hei hanga i te tangata kē:

• Whaia rātou
• Rapua katinga
• Ngāna kia hoki mai tō rātou manako

Ka taea e tēnei te hoatu ki te tangata whakahihi te mana me te whakahaere i te āhuatanga.

Ki te pakaru te whakapehapeha o te tangata whakahihi, ā, ka kitea e ia tētahi e aro nui atu ana ki a ia, e whakamana ana rānei i ōna kare ā-roto, ka ngaro pea i a ia tā rātou hoa, kāore he whakaroa. Nā tō rātou whakapehapeha ka whakapono rātou he tika kia whiwhi rātou i te pai ake, ā, ka taea e rātou te whakarere i te hunga kāore e tutuki i ā rātou tumanakohanga.

E whakamārama ana tēnei kaiwhakamahi Quora, "He hiahia nui tō te hunga whakahihi ki te whakamana me te whakahaere. Ka tupu pai rātou i runga i te whakamoemiti me te aro, ka whakamahi i ētahi atu hei taputapu hei whakanui i tō rātou whakaaro nui ki a rātou anō. Heoi, ina kite rātou i te tūponotanga ki tō rātou whakapehapeha, ki te mea rānei kua pau te whakamahi i a koe, ka tere tonu tā rātou neke atu."

5. Ka taea e te hoha te arahi ki te memeha haere o tō rātou hiahia ki a koe

Ki ētahi o te hunga whakahihi, he rite te whanaungatanga ki tētahi kēmu, ā, me 'whakahihiri'. Tērā pea ka hoha wawe rātou ina ngaro te hou o ngā whanaungatanga . Mēnā ka kitea e rātou he kore whakahihiri te whanaungatanga, ka kitea rānei he puna hou o te whakahihi e ahua pai ake ana, tera pea ka huna e rātou tō rātou hoa o nāianei me te kore whakatūpato, ka rapu i taua whakahihiri hou. Kia mahara kaua e tukua kia tautuhia, kia whakaatahia rānei tō uara e ēnei whakahihi whakahihi.

Ahakoa ka whai wāhi pea ēnei āhuatanga ki te wairua whakahihi, he ahurei ia tangata, ā, ko ngā hihiri mō ā rātou whanonga he huinga pea o ēnei me ētahi atu āhuatanga. Hei tāpiri, ehara i te mea ko te hunga katoa e whai wāhi ana ki te whanonga wairua he whakahihi.

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3 Ngā Tohu Nui o te Wairua Narcissistic

E mea ana a Anita, "Ahakoa ehara te kupu "narcissistic ghosting" i te kupu e mōhiotia whānuitia ana i roto i te hinengaro, ko ētahi huinga whanonga i roto i te tangata ka tohu pea i ēnei ia." He uaua pea te tautuhi i te "narcissistic ghosting" i te ao tūturu, engari anei ētahi tohu nui e toru hei tirotiro māu:

1. Putanga/Ngaro ohorere, kāore i te whakamāramatia

He rite te wairua whakahihi ki te ngaro ohorere i roto i te whanaungatanga. Whakaarohia he kōrerorero auau, kātahi ka pō! Kāore he karere, kāore he poroporoaki - he wahangu noa iho. I tētahi wā, he āhua noa ngā mea katoa, ā, i tētahi wā, he wahangu reo irirangi. Ko te mea uaua, kāore pea te tangata whakahihi e noho ngaro atu mō ake tonu atu. Ka puta ake pea rātou ki roto i tō ao, e ngana ana ki te whakapā atu i muri i te wahangu mā te pai ki ō pou, te tuku karere kuputuhi noa rānei.

Kaua e tinihangatia — Ehara i te mea ko te whakatika i ngā mea; engari ko te whakahaere. Tērā pea kei te takaro rātou ki ō kare ā-roto, kei te whakamahara noa rānei i a koe kei te taha tonu rātou.

2. Te kore o te aroha me te māramatanga

Whakaarohia kei te ringihia e koe ōu ngākau ki tētahi, engari ka haere noa atu rātou, kāore he kupu, he makariri pērā i te hukapapa. He tohu nui tēnei o te wairua whakahihi. Kāore e tika ana tēnei wā puku, ā, ka waiho koe kia pōuri. He rite ki te ngaro i roto i te ngahere pōuri, kāore he mahere, ā, he mamae. Ko te mea kino rawa atu? Ko te tangata whakahihi e huna ana i tana hoa, te āhua nei kāore e mārama ki te āhua o te wairua whakahihi i muri i te tautohetohe (me te kore take rānei). He kare ā-roto tauhou ki a rātou te aroha.

E whakamārama ana a Anita, "He uaua ki ngā tāngata whakahihi wairua te mārama ki ngā kare ā-roto o tā rātou hoa. Ka whakatairangahia e rātou ō rātou ake hiahia i runga i ētahi atu. Ka ahua ohorere te wehe atu nā te mea kāore pea rātou e hiahia ki te tuku whakamārama, ki te whakaoti rānei. Ko tēnei korenga o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero e whakaatu ana kāore te tangata whakahihi e aro ki te pānga kare ā-roto o ā rātou mahi ki te tangata kē. Kāore pea rātou e pouri, e whakaae rānei ki ngā hua o ā rātou mahi."

3. He raupapa o ngā whanonga uaua

Ka taea e te tangata whakahihi te huna anō i a koe i muri i te whakatū anō i te hononga? E whakamārama ana a Anita, "I nāianei, e mōhio ana tātou ko te whakahihi he rautaki e whakamahia ana e te hunga whakahihi hei pupuri i te mana whakahaere me te whakahaere i ngā kare ā-roto. Tērā pea ka ngaro atu rātou hei waihanga i te ahua ngaro, hei akiaki rānei i te tangata kē kia whaia rātou. Ko tā rātou kaupapa matua he hiahia kia arohia. Ki te whakapā atu rātou i muri i te wā e kōrero puku ana, kia tūpato. Ka taea e tēnei tauira whakahihi te hoki mai anō."

He rite te wairua whakahihi ki tētahi wāhanga panga i roto i tētahi pikitia nui o ngā whanonga uaua a te tangata whakahihi. He huarahi anō tēnei hei pupuri i te mana whakahaere me te karo i te tango kawenga mō ā rātou mahi. Kia tūpato ki ngā huringa ohorere o ā rātou whanonga i mua i te huna i a koe. Mena kei te ahua nei:

• Tino kaikino
• Te tawhiti o te kare ā-roto
• Aro nui rawa ki tētahi atu mea
• Ki te tīmata whawhai mō te kore take
• Kia puta whakarere ngā kanohi ki tētahi tangata hou

… he tohu pea ēnei e ngaro atu ana rātou i tō ao. Koinei tā rātou huarahi ki te whakarite i te atamira mō tō rātou wehenga nui, ka waiho koe ki muri me ngā pātai, te ruarua, te pōhēhē, me te pouri anake. Ka pā pea tēnei wāhanga whakarere ki tō hauora hinengaro me tō tipu whaiaro, ka aukati i a koe ki te neke whakamua.

He rerekē ngā take e noho ai te tangata i roto i te wairua whakahihi, engari ki te kite koe i ēnei tohu whakatūpato, he tūponotanga he wairua whakahihi tēnei. Ki te mea kei te pāngia koe e tētahi āhuatanga ōrite, pānuihia kia mōhio ai koe ki te pānga o taua wairua whakahihi huna ki te hunga e pāngia ana e te wairua whakahihi, me te aha ka taea e koe te mahi hei whakaora i tēnei huringa o te whakarērea.

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He pēhea te pānga o te wairua whakapehapeha ki te patunga?

E whakamārama ana a Anita, "Ka pā nui te pānga o te wairua whakahihi ki te oranga ngākau me te hauora hinengaro o te tangata i pāngia. Ka waiho te tangata kia pōhēhē, kia pouri, kia riri, ka pā ki tōna whakaaro nui ki a ia anō me tōna whakawhirinaki." Anei ētahi huarahi ka pā ki te tangata e whiwhi ana i te pānga:

1. Te ruarua me te whakapae i a koe anō

"Ko te korenga o te kati ka arahi ki te rangirua me te whakapae i a ia anō, he maha ngā wā ka puta ngā raruraru hauora hinengaro pēnei i te pouri me te manukanuka," te whakamārama a Anita. Ko te tauira 'whakaaro whaiaro i muri i te maka atu' ka meinga pea te patunga kia uru ki roto i te wheako me te whakapae i a ia anō mō ​​te mutunga o te whanaungatanga. Ko te korenga o tētahi whakamārama mārama ka arahi pea i te patunga ki te pātai i tōna uara, whanonga, me āna mahi, ka poipoi i te ruarua i a ia anō me te whakaaro tonu kāore i te pai.

I a ia e kōrero ana mō tētahi kōrero mō tētahi kiritaki, e kī ana a Anita, "I haere mai a Sara (ingoa kua hurihia), he tohunga hokohoko 34-tau te pakeke ki ahau mō te rongoā hinengaro i muri i tana wheako i te wairua whakahihi mai i tana hoa rangatira whai muri i tētahi hononga tau-roa te roa. I te wā o te rongoā hinengaro, i whakakitea e Sara tētahi mamae nui o te hinengaro e tohuhia ana e te pōhēhē, te tinihanga, me te mamae. I raru ia i ngā kare ā-roto o te whakakorenga me te ruarua i a ia anō."

2. Te ngaronga o te whakawhirinaki

Ko te tinihanga e pā ana ki te wairua whakahihi ka hua ake he ngaronga nui o te whakawhirinaki. Ka taea e te wheako mamae te whakauaua i te whakawhirinaki o te tangata i pāngia ki ētahi atu, ka arahi ki te noho mokemoke me te wehe atu i te hapori. E kī ana a Anita, "Ka uaua te hanga whanaungatanga hou nā te wehi kei whakarērea , kei whakakahoretia, kei tinihangatia, ka taea hoki e tēnei te arahi atu ki tētahi raruraru tuakiri e pātai ai te tangata i tōna mana me te pono o ngā whanaungatanga ā muri ake nei."

3. Ngā take whakaaro nui ki a koe anō

Ko te āhua o te 'whakaaro nui ki te tangata i muri i te whakarērea', te noho rānei hei tangata i muri i tētahi tautohe me te kore whakamārama, ka whai wāhi pea ki te whakaaro koretake. Tērā pea ka mōhio te tangata i roto i te tangata i pāngia ki te kore aroha o te tangata me te whakahē ā-roto mā te noho hei tangata, ka kino ake ai tōna whakaaro ki a ia anō. Tērā pea ka tīmata rātou ki te pātai i ō rātou ake uara, ā, ka uaua ki te whai wāhi atu ki ngā taunekeneke pāpori me te māia.

E whakamārama ana a Anita, "Ki te kore he whakaora tika, ka noho tonu pea te tangata ki roto i ngā whanaungatanga kino . He mea nui te rapu rongoā hei tukatuka i ngā kare ā-roto me te whiwhi māramatanga whai hua mō te whakaora me te tipu whaiaro." He rerekē te pānga o te wairua whakapehapeha i runga i te manawanui o te tangata i pāngia, te pūnaha tautoko, me ngā wheako o mua. He mea nui kia whakaae ki te kino ka pā mai, me te rapu tautoko mēnā e tika ana.

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9 Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakautu Ki Te Wairua Whakahīhī

Ahakoa te kaha o te wairua whakahihi, kāore koe e tuku kia tautuhia, kia whakahaerea rānei koe e ia. He mea nui kia whakatairangahia tō oranga me tō hauora kare ā-roto. Anei ngā huarahi e iwa hei whakatere i ngā āhuatanga ōrite me te tiaki i ō hiahia me ō rohe kare ā-roto :

1. Whakaaetia ō kare ā-roto

He mea noa te mamae, te pōhēhē, te riri, te whakamarie rānei i muri i te ngaronga o te wairua. Tukua koe kia whakaae me te tukatuka i ēnei kare ā-roto me te kore whakahē. Whakaaetia, kia rongohia, kia whakamanahia hoki ēnei mea katoa. E toru ngā mea hei maumahara māu e Anita:

• Hoatu he wā ki a koe anō kia rongo i te pānga katoa
• Ehara te wairua i te mea mō tō uara
• Whakapaua tō wā i mua i te whakatau i te mea hei mahi

2. Hopukia ngā whakapā katoa

E kōrero mai ana a Gale, he ētita ataata 32-tau te pakeke nō Atlanta, ki a tātou, "Kei te ngana ahau ki te whakamātau i taku hoa o mua i tana ake rongoā. E tino whakapono ana ahau me whakarite tahi tātou katoa i ngā mahere hei huna i te hunga whakahihi, pērā i tā rātou huna i a tātou katoa." Me haere tonu, e Gale. Waihangahia tō ope taua.

Nā te mea, mā te whai i tētahi tangata whakahihi ka nui ake te mana, ka whakakaha ake hoki i ā rātou rautaki tinihanga. Whakatūria he ture kore-pā atu . Āta tirohia te waea atu, te tuku karere, te īmēra rānei. Noho tawhiti atu i ngā hoa tahi. Mā te kitenga i te aroaro o te tangata whakahihi i runga ipurangi ka puta ngā kare ā-roto kino, ka whakararuraru hoki i tō tukanga whakaora. Whakatā atu i ngā pāpāho pāpori, ārai rānei i a rātou mō tō ake hinengaro. Ā, ki te waea atu koe ki a rātou, ka taea tonu e koe te whakatika i ō hapa — Hono atu ki a Gale i tana kaupapa ki te "whakaora i tō tangata whakahihi."

3. Hurihia te kōrero

Ko te wairuatanga e whakaata ana i ngā take o te tangata whakahihi, ehara i a koe. Hurihia te arotahi ki a koe anō. Whakamaumahara ki a koe anō ki tō uara, ki tō mana motuhake, me te kaha ki te hanga whanaungatanga hauora. Whakamaumahara ki a koe anō ko te wairuatanga he whakaata i ngā whanonga o te tangata whakahihi, ehara i te mea ko tō uara. Āraia te hiahia ki te whakapae i a koe anō, ki te whakauru rānei i ā rātou kupu me ā rātou mahi.

Pānui e pā ana: Te Whakatau i te Wehenga: Ngā Taupānga Wehenga Me Whai mō tō Waea

4. Whakatairangahia te manaaki i a koe anō me te aroha ki a koe anō

He mea nui te tiaki i a koe anō hei hanga anō i tō manawanui kare ā-roto i muri i te mahi tahi me tētahi wairua whakahihi — he kupu whakarite tēnei. Whakaritea ngā mahi tiaki i a koe anō hei whakamarie me te hari i a koe, hei whāngai i tō hinengaro, tō tinana, me tō wairua. Anei ngā kaupapa matua:

• Te whakahaere i ia wa
• Kai te kai hauora
• A moe pai
• Whakamātauria te tuhi hautaka
• Kia mau tonu te whakapā atu ki ngā hoa pono

E mea ana a Anita, "Arotahi ki ngā mahi me ngā hākinakina e hari ai koe, e whakangā ai hoki. He mea nui te tiaki i a koe anō i ngā wā uaua." He uaua pea te aro atu ki te wairua whakapehapeha, engari he mea nui kia aro nui ki tō oranga me te mahi i ngā mahi hei whakahoki mai i te mana whakahaere o tō hauora kare ā-roto.

5. Rapua he tautoko mai i ngā hoa, i te whānau, i tētahi tohunga rānei

Mō te urupare ki te wairua whakahihi, e kī ana a Anita, "Ka taea e te rapu tautoko te āwhina. Kōrero ki tētahi hoa, ki ngā mema o te whānau, ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro rānei hei tuku tautoko me te whakarato rautaki hei whakatau i te raruraru. Ko te whakapuaki i ō kare ā-roto ki tētahi e whakawhirinaki ana koe ka āwhina i a koe ki te mārama ake i ngā mea, me te whakatenatena i a koe kia anga whakamua."

Tuhia ō wheako ki te hunga ka taea te tuku aroha, te mārama, me te whakatenatena i tēnei wā uaua. Mena he nui te pānga o te wairua whakahihi ki ngā kare ā-roto, whakaarohia te rapu āwhina ngaio. Ka taea e koe te whiriwhiri i tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro mai i te rōpū tohunga o Bonobology ; ka whakaratohia e rātou he māramatanga whai hua hei āwhina i a koe ki te tukatuka i ō kare ā-roto i a koe e ora ana.

6. Whakaarohia ngā āhuatanga katoa o tō tipu ake whaiaro

Whakamahia tō wheako i tēnei whanaungatanga kino hei wāhi ako me te tipu. Whakaarohia ō rohe, ō momo whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, me ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e koe mō ngā whanaungatanga ā muri ake nei. Whakaarohia ngā rauemi whakawhanake i a koe anō pērā i ngā pukapuka, ngā awheawhe, ngā rongoā whakaora rānei hei haumi ki tō oranga. Whakapaua te wā ki te hunga e arohaina ana e koe. Whakauru atu ki ngā mahi hei whakatairanga i tō oranga tinana, kare ā-roto, me te hinengaro.

7. Kaua e rapu utu, kaua hoki e rapu whakamutunga

E whakamārama ana a Anita, "Kaua e whai i te mutunga. Tērā pea kāore e mahi i tēnei take. Kaua e whakanui i tō riri mā te pupuri tonu i te whakaaro o te mutunga. Āraia te hiahia ki te rapu utu, ki te whakama rānei i te tangata i te aroaro o te marea. Mā te pupuri i tō whakaute i a koe anō ka āwhina i a koe ki te neke whakamua me te ataahua."

Ahakoa he mea whakamātau te whai i tētahi momo utu, ka nui ake te mamae i a koe. Engari, ako ki te neke whakamua me te kore e kati , ki te rapu rānei i roto i a koe anō. Kia mārama koe kāore pea i ahu mai i te tangata whakahihi. Whakaarohia te whanaungatanga, whakaae ki tōna mutunga, me te mahi ki te tuku i te hiahia kia whakamanahia.

Pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te puta atu i tētahi whanaungatanga kino: He aratohu taahiraa-i-te-taahiraa

8. Whakaharatauhia te aro me te whakaae

Whakaaetia he mamae tēnei wheako engari he wā poto noa iho. Whakaharatauhia ngā tikanga aroā, pērā i te whakaaroaro, te manawa hōhonu rānei, hei whakahaere i ngā whakaaro urutomo me ngā tauhohenga kare ā-roto. He rongoā kaha te wā me te aroha ki a koe anō . Ka taea hoki e te pānui i ngā kōrero mō te tukino whakahihi me te wairua wairua te whakarato i ngā māramatanga me ngā aratohu whai hua.

E mea ana a Anita, "Akohia mai i te wheako kia taea ai e koe te whakatau i ngā kōwhiringa hauora ake ā muri ake nei. Whakamahia hei kite i ngā tohu whakatūpato kāore pea i kitea e koe i roto i te whanaungatanga."

9. Me pēhea te urupare ki te wairua whakahihi: Whakatakotoria he rohe

Whakatūria, ā, whakaūtia hoki ngā rohe mārama ki te tangata whakahihi. Mēnā ka ngana rātou ki te whakapā atu i muri i te wāwāhinga, whakatauhia te taumata o te taunekeneke e pai ana koe ki te mahi, mēnā he mea kei roto. E whakamārama ana a Anita, "Kia mārama ō tumanakohanga. Me mōhio rātou ki te pānga o ā rātou mahi ki a koe. Kia pūmau ki tāu e whakaae ai ā muri ake nei."

Ki te kore koe e hiahia ki te kōrero ki a rātou i ēnei wā, kōrerotia atu ki a rātou i runga i te reo pakari, me te ngākau māia. Me mōhio rātou ki ngā hua ka puta mai mēnā kāore rātou e whakaute i a koe , i ō rohe rānei.

Mā te wā, te tautoko, me te aroha ki a koe anō, ka taea e koe te ora i te mamae me te neke whakamua i roto i te ao. Akohia ngā rautaki whakamataku a te hunga whakahihi kia whiwhi ai i ngā māramatanga whai hua ki ngā whanaketanga o aua whanaungatanga. Ko te wairua he whakaata i te hiahia o te tangata whakahihi ki te whakahaere me te kore e taea te whakahaere i ngā mea i roto i te huarahi hauora. Ehara i te mea nāu te he, nō reira kaua e whakapae i a koe anō. Engari, karapotia koe ki ngā tāngata tautoko me te mahi ki te whakaora i a koe anō.

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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.