E pai ana ngā kōtiro ki ngā tāne whakama? 7 ngā take e pai ai rātou

Nā, kei te whakaaro koe, he pai ki ngā kōtiro ngā tāne whakama? He pātai tēnei kua puta ake pea i roto i tō hinengaro i ngā wā maha, inā koa mēnā ko koe te momo tangata e pai ake ana ki te whakarongo i te ārahi i te kōrero. Kia pono tātou, he rite te whakaipoipo ki tētahi ara pōrearea, ā, mā te whakama ka rite koe ki te mea kei te haereere koe me te mea kei te hipoki ō kanohi. Kāore pea te tāne whakama e pai ki te tono i tētahi kia haereere noa iho. Ki te kore te tāne whakama e neke, tera pea ka whakaaro ia kei te ngaro ia. He tino raruraru tēnei ka taea te whakangaro i te maia o te tangata.

Engari koinei te mea: ehara te whakama i te mea hei whakakore i ngā herenga. Inaa, he mea tino pai ki ētahi kōtiro. Me wetewete tātou i te take o tēnā, me tūhura i ngā piki me ngā heke o te whakama i te ao whakaipoipo, me te tohatoha i ngā tohutohu whai hua hei āwhina i a koe kia tiaho me te kore e whakaari i a koe anō he tangata ehara koe i te tangata. Me ngā tirohanga mai i ngā tohunga hinengaro, ngā tohunga whanaungatanga, me ngā wheako o ngā tāngata tūturu, ka pupuri tātou i te pono me te whai hua. Kua rite? Me ruku tātou ki roto.

E pai ana ngā kōtiro ki ngā tāne whakama? 7 ngā take e pai ai ētahi kōtiro ki ngā tāne whakama

Me tīmata tātou ki te whaiwhai: e pai ana ngā kōtiro ki ngā tāne whakama? Ehara te whakautu i te āe, i te kāo rānei—kei te kōtiro tonu. Ko ētahi e kukume ana ki ngā momo marino, whakaaroaro, ko ētahi ia he pai ake te āhua ki ngā āhua hoa. He maha ngā āhuatanga o ngā tāne whakama e kitea nuitia ana, pērā i te whakaaroaro, te whakarongo pai rānei, ka taea te whakaoho i te kukume. Kāore tēnei kukume e pā ana ki tō ataahua, ki tō karismā rānei, engari ko te mea nui ko tāu e kawe mai ana ki te tēpu. I ētahi wā, i ētahi wā noa iho, ka taea e ēnei āhuatanga te kukume i ngā wāhine kāore i te kukumea ki te momo marino, whakaaroaro. 

Koinei te mea i tupu ki a Ella, he kaituhi pukapuka 29-tau te pakeke. I pai ia ki ngā mea whakamīharo. Ko ngā tāne e taea ana te pupuri i tētahi rūma me tō rātou māia, i mōhio ki te takaro me te whakahihiri i tētahi wahine me te kore e whakapau kaha. Me i pātai atu koe ki a ia, "He whakama te tangata?" he ātaahua i roto i te tāne?", kua mea ia, "Kāo!", kāore he whakaaroaro tuarua.

Koia te take, i tana tūtakitanga tuatahi ki a Daniel i te rā whānau o tana hoa, a Ava, kāore ia i tino kite i a ia. I noho ia ki te pito tawhiti o te tēpu, e inu ana i te inu, e menemene ana me te ātaahua engari kāore i te maha ngā wā e kōrero ana mēnā kāore tetahi e kōrero tika ana ki a ia. I muri mai i taua ahiahi, i te nekenga o te katoa ki te rūma noho mō te inu me te kanikani, i noho a Daniel ki muri hei āwhina i te whakawātea i te tēpu. I roto a Ella i te kīhini i tana haerenga mai me te puranga pereti. I titiro kanohi rāua. I tahuri atu ia i te tuatahi.

"E hiahia ana koe ki te āwhina?" i pātai ia, kāore i tumanako kia nui atu i te piko noa iho o te mahunga.

"Āe," tana kī, he ngawari te reo engari he pono. "Ngā mihi nui."

Koinā kē. Kāore he whakaipoipo. Kāore he ngana ki te miharo. He noho mārire noa iho, kāore i te āhua whakama. Tekau mā rima meneti rāua e kōrero ana i a rāua e horoi ana i ngā rīhi. I tahuri kē tā rāua kōrero i ngā pukapuka me tana mahi ki te pana i a rāua ki te mākete, ki ā rāua wharekai ramen tino pai, me te korenga o rāua i te mōhio ki te tini o te tangata i te pāti.

I te aonga ake, ka tukuna atu e Daniel he karere kuputuhi ki a ia. He karere māmā noa iho: "E hika, i tino pai ki ahau tā tāua kōrero inapo. Kei te hiahia koe ki te tiki kawhe i tētahi wā?" Ehara i te "inu." Ehara i te "noho noa." Kawhe. He ahua hou, he pono.

Ka tīmata rāua te kite tetahi i tetahi. I tere te mōhio o Ella ahakoa ehara a Daniel i te tangata o te pāti, i kite ia i ngā mea. I mahara ia ki tāna i kōrero ai i te taha. I whakarongo ia, i tino whakarongo. Kāore ia i mahi i ngā tohu whakahirahira, engari i tana pupuri i tōna ringa mō te wā tuatahi, me te mataku, he nui ake te tikanga i tētahi mea kua oti te whakapaipai. rārangi kohi.

I te wā i whakatoi ai a Ava i a ia mō taua mea, "Tirohia koe e whakaipoipo ana i tētahi tāne whakama, e Miss I-want-me-a-good-be-a-good," ka whakahoki a Ella, "Kāore ia i te whakama i te āhua hoha. He whakama ia i te āhua e pai ai ahau. Me te mea kāore ia e ngana ana ki te toa i te katoa, ko au anake." Koinā te whakautu i te pātai, e pai ana ngā kōtiro ki ngā tāne marino? Nā, me tūhura tātou he aha i pērā ai:

Te pānui e pā ana: Ngā Tohutohu Whakakatakata mō ngā Tāne Whakamā: He Aratohu hei Whakamiharo i te Kōtiro

1. He āhua ngaro tōu

He aha ngā wāhine i pai ai ki ngā tāne marino? Nā te mea he maha ngā wā ka puta te āhua ngaro o ngā tāne whakama, tūpato hoki, nā te mea kāore rātou e whakapuaki wawe i te kōrero o tō rātou oranga. Ka taea e tēnei te whakaoho i te hiahia o te kōtiro ki te rapu i ngā kōrero hou kia mōhio ai. E kī ana te kaiako whanaungatanga a John Keegan, "He mea whakamīharo ki te tangata tūpato. Ka kukume noa i te tangata ki roto." 

Hei whakautu ki te, "E pai ana koutou ki ngā tāne whakama?", i roto i te pātai i runga i te Reddit, i tautokohia tēnei e tētahi kaiwhakamahi, me te kī, "He rite ngā tāne whakama ki tētahi pukapuka e hiahia ana koe kia pānui tonu nā te mea kāore e hoatu katoatia ana i te wā kotahi."  Tērā pea ka kukumea ngā wāhine ki a koe nā tō whakama,  

• Ka whakaoho i te hiahia, ka hiahia ia ki te kite ko wai koe
• Ka wehe kē koe i ngā tāne e tere rawa ana te whakapuaki

2. He tino pai koe ki te whakarongo

Ki te mea he whakama koe, he tūponotanga kei a koe tētahi whakarongo pai e pai ake ana ki te aro ki ngā kōrero a tētahi atu i te whakahaere i te kōrero. Ka kite ngā kōtiro i tēnei. Ina tino rongo koe i āna kōrero, ka rongo ia he mea nui ia. E whakamārama ana te tohunga hinengaro, a Tākuta Susan Whitbourne, "Mā te whakarongo kaha ka hanga whakawhirinaki, ka whakaatu hoki i te manaaki pono, he mea ātaahua tēnei." He aha te mea e ātaahua ai te whakama ki ngā wāhine? Anei te take: 

• E whakaatu ana tēnei kei te aro koe ki ōna whakaaro, kaua ki ōu ake whakaaro anake
• Ka hangaia he wāhi haumaru mōna ki te whakapuaki i ōna whakaaro

3. Ka kitea tō whakaaro nui

He rite tonu te whakaaro o ngā tāne whakama ki te whakaaro nui i mua i te kōrero, ā, he maha ngā wā ka puta ko te whai whakaaro nui. Kāore koe e tino kaha ki te whakapuaki i tētahi mea mangere, ā, ko taua āhua tupato ka tino kukume i a koe. He rite tēnei ki te mea e whakanuia ana e ngā kōtiro i roto i tētahi hoa: he tangata whai whakaaro nui, whai whakaaro nui hoki. Ko tēnei āhuatanga o tō tuakiri,

• Ka hanga whakawhirinaki mā te karo i te whanoke, te ngā kōrero mamae
• Ka nui ake te taumaha o āu kupu ina kōrero koe

Te pānui e pā ana: He mea whakarihariha rānei te whakama o te tāne?

4. Ko te ngākau mahaki tō mana nui

Kia pono tātou: kāore he tangata e pai ki te whakapehapeha. He maha ngā wā ka kitea te hunga whakama he hunga whakaiti, he mea hou tēnei i roto i tēnei ao e kī ana i te whakatairanga i a rātou anō. Kei reira te whakautu ki te pātai: he aha ngā kōtiro e pai ai ki ngā tāne marino? Nā te mea ka puta koe he hunga ngāwari ki te whakatata atu, kāore e whakamataku, ā, ka whakaatu hoki kei te haumaru koe hei tangata. 

5. E kitea ana koe he tangata pono

I te taua Reddit miro, i kōrero mai tētahi atu kaiwhakamahi, "E hia marama te roa o taku hoa tāne whakama ki te tono kia haere tahi māua, engari ināianei ko ia te tangata pono rawa atu kua mōhiotia e au." He mea tino whakamīharo tēnei mā ngā wāhine te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne whakamaHe maha ngā wā ka roa te wā e hiahia ana ngā tāne whakama ki te whakapuaki i ō rātou whakaaro, engari ina pērā rātou, nā te mea he pono tō rātou whakapau kaha. E ai ki a Tākuta John Gottman, he kairangahau whanaungatanga rongonui, "Ka tipu te whakapau kaha mai i te haumi kare ā-roto, ehara i te mahi whakahirahira." Ko tēnei huarahi puhoi, pumau hoki e tohu ana i te pono, he āhuatanga e tino whakanuia ana e te tini o ngā kōtiro. 

6. He wero ngahau koe

He pai ki ētahi kōtiro te wero o te kukume i tētahi tāne mā kia puta mai i roto i tōna anga. Kāo, ehara i te mea kei te hiahia rātou ki te whakarerekē i a koe, ki te kī rānei he taonga koe. Engari ko te tukanga o te whiwhi whakawhirinaki mai i tētahi tāne mā, me te kite i ā rātou mahi e utua ana, he mea whakahihiri. Ka taea e tēnei āhuatanga te hanga hononga ahurei, 

• He rite te whanaungatanga ki tētahi haerenga tahi
• Mutualé te whakapau kaha i roto i te whanaungatanga whakahōhonu ake i te hononga
• Ka tipu tahi kōrua

7. Ka meinga ia e koe kia noho haumaru

He aha i pai ai ngā kōtiro ki ngā tāne whakama? Ko te take māmā rawa, ā, ko te take tino kaha pea, ko te whakaaro haumaru i te wā e whakaipoipo ana ki tētahi tāne whakama. He maha ngā wā ka kitea ngā tāne whakama he kore whakamataku, ā, ka taea e tēnei te whakamarie i ngā kōtiro. Ko tō āhua marino e tohu ana kei te whakaute koe i ngā rohe, ā, ka noho haumaru ia. E kī ana a Christina Jay, he kaiako whanaungatanga, "Ko te āhua marino o ngā tāne whakama he piringa haumaru i roto i tētahi ao whakaipoipo pōrearea." 

• Ka hangaia he taiao pēhanga iti mō hononga kare ā-roto
• He whakaatu i te whakaute mō tōna tere me tōna taumata whakamarie

Te pānui e pā ana: 5 Ngā Mea Ka Tupu Ina Hinga Te Aroha O Te Tangata Whakamā

Ngā Painga me ngā Mahanga o te Whakama mō tō Oranga Whakaipoipo

He rerekē te whakama i te wā e whakaipoipo ana. He maha ngā painga, engari he arai anō hoki. Mā te whakama koe e tū motuhake ai. E kitea ana koe he tangata whakarongo, e whakaaro ana i mua i te mahi. Engari ka taea hoki e ia te whakararu i a koe, inā koa ka tae ki te mahi tuatahi, ki te whakaatu rānei i tō hiahia. Ko te mahi nui ko te mōhio me pēhea te whakamahi i ō kaha i a koe e mahi ana i ngā wero. Mō tēnā, me mōhio koe ki aua kaha me ngā wero, me pēhea hoki e hanga ai i ō tumanakohanga aroha. Kia rapua e tātou:

Mā te whakama koe e āwhina ki te waihanga hononga pono, engari ka taea hoki e ia te whakararu i a koe mēnā kāore koe e pana atu i te whakama tuatahi. Ki te kore te tangata whakama e neke, ka memeha haere te ataahua me te hiahia. Me neke atu tātou ki te pēhea e taea ai e koe te whakamahi māu.

Te Whakaipoipo hei Tāne Mā: 7 Ngā Tohutohu hei Whakatenatena i ngā Kōtiro

Te whakaipoipo hei tangata whakama Ahakoa te āhua whakamataku, kāore e tika kia rite ki te piki maunga. Kāore koe e hiahia kia huri hei Mr. Charisma i te pō kotahi. Engari, arotahi ki te hanga i te maia, te whakaatu i te hiahia i tō ake ara, me te hikoi atu i waho o tō rohe whakamarie. Ko te mea nui ko te kore e tuku i ō aukati hei hoariri kino rawa atu, me te mahi i ngā hikoinga iti me te pono. He rite ki te maha o ngā kupu nunui? Me wehewehe māu i roto i ētahi whakarerekētanga ngāwari hei whakatere i te ao whakaipoipo me te maia me te kukume i ngā kōtiro me te noho pono ki a koe anō. 

1: Hangaia he māia ā-ngāwari

Ehara te maia i te tikanga kia nui te haruru, kia māia rānei. Ko te mea nui ko te ako kia noho humarie ki roto i tō ake kiri. E kī ana a Keegan, "Awhihia tō huarahi ahurei ki te hono atu; kāore koe e hiahia ki te whai i te hunga māhorahora kia ataahua ai koe." Tīmata mā te mōhio ki ngā mea e whakamīharo ai koe, pērā i tō kaha ki te whakarongo, i tō āhua whakaaro nui rānei, kātahi ka whakakitea. Anei ētahi mea ka taea e koe te whakamātau: 

• Whakarārangihia kia toru ngā mea e pai ana ki a koe mōu ake hei whakanui ake i te whakaaro nui ki a koe anō
• Whakaharatauhia te tū pakari me te titiro kanohi ki a koe kia maia ai koe ki te kaupapa
• Haere atu i tō ara, ā, tīmatahia he kōrero ki taua kotiro nā wai i hopu tō kanohi

2. Whakaharatauhia te kōrero poto

Ka pāngia te kēmu whakaipoipo a te tāne whakama nā te mea he rite te tīmatanga o ngā kōrero ki te tango niho, engari ka māmā ake mā te whakaharatau. E kī ana a Rosenfeld, "Kōrero ki te katoa—ngā kaiwhakatakoto kai, ngā hoa mahi, ngā tāngata tauhou—kia hanga ai tō kaha pāpori. Anei te mahi:

• Whakamātauria ngā mea māmā ngā kaiwhakatuwhera kōrero pēnei i te, "Kei te pēhea tō rā?" hei tīmata i te mahi
• Tīmata ki ngā tautuhinga iti te pēhanga, pērā i te kōrero ki te kaiutuutu
• Whakaritea ētahi pātai hei āwhina i a koe kia kore ai e noho pōturi

Te pānui e pā ana: 9 Ngā Tohutohu Hei Whakamahi i te Hononga o te Tangata Whakamāori me te Tangata Whakatuwhera

3. Whakawhirinaki ki ngā rā mariko

Ki te mea ka mataku koe i ngā wā tūtaki kanohi ki te kanohi, ka taea e ngā wā tūtaki mariko te huri i te keemu. Ka hoatu he whai wāhi ki a koe ki te hanga whanaungatanga i roto i te taiao whakamarie. Ina hono koe ki tētahi tangata hou, 

• Whakamahia pai te wā kōrero hei whakatū hononga
• I mua i te hui kawhe, whakaarohia he Te rā whakanui kia ngāwari ai te uru atu ki ngā mea
• Whakamahia te āhuatanga kōrerorero hei whakapuaki whakaaro mēnā he uaua ki te kōrero

4. Whakaatuhia te hiahia mā roto i ngā mahi

E ai ki te whakataukī, he nui ake te kōrero a ngā mahi i ngā kupu. Ki te uaua koe ki te kimi i ngā kupu tika, ki te kore rānei e taea e koe te whakaaro i tētahi rārangi kupu ataahua hei whakaora i tōu ora, kaua e mahi. Arotahi ki ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi tika. Kei roto i ngā mahi iti, whakaaro nui tōu kaha, pērā i te maumahara ki tāna kai tino pai, te tuku karere kuputuhi tautoko rānei. Whakamahia hei painga mōu. Ka kitea e koe kāore te haerenga whakaipoipo a te tāne whakama i te whakamataku, i te whakarihariha rānei pērā i tō whakaaro. 

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Whakaipoipo hei Tangata Whakamārama – 9 Ngā Tohutohu Hei Whakamahi Pai i a Ia

5. Kia mau tonu te pono

I nāianei, kua whakamāramahia te mea ngaro o "he aha i pai ai ngā kōtiro ki ngā tāne whakama". He maha ngā take e kukume ana ngā kōtiro ki tō momo tuakiri. Nō reira, kia mau ki tēnei, ā, whakamahia hei tūāpapa ki te hono atu ki te wahine e pai ana ki a koeKāore he painga o te whakaari i a koe anō hei tangata ehara i a koe. I te nuinga o te wā, ka kitea he huarahi hei whakatupu i te ahotea. Ka kitea pea e ngā kōtiro te tinihanga i tawhiti atu, ā, ka oma atu ki te huarahi kē. I tētahi atu taha, ka whakanuia e rātou te āhua tūturu o koe. Kia tiaho tō tuakiri, me ō āhuatanga rerekē, me ērā atu mea katoa.

• Tuhia ō hiahia, ahakoa he mea motuhake, he mea hihiri rānei
• Kaua e akiaki i te whakakatakata, i te whakapono rānei ki a koe anō
• Kia maumahara koe, kāore he aha kia paku whakama koe

6. Kia puhoi nga mea

Kāore he hiahia kia tere te whakaipoipo, inā koa mō ngā tāne whakama. Te āta haere i ngā mea e whakaatu ana kei te hiahia koe ki tētahi hononga tūturu, ehara i te wikitoria tere noa iho. E kī ana a Tākuta Susan Whitbourne, "Mā te hanga whakawhirinaki mārire ka kaha ake ngā whanaungatanga." He maha ngā wā ka maioha ngā kōtiro ki tētahi tāne e whakaute ana i tō rātou tere engari e pai ana hoki ki te āta haere i ngā mea i tōna taha. Whakapaua te wā ki te mōhio ki a ia me te whakatū hononga. Arotahi ki ngā kōrero me te whakaū i tō hononga, ā, tukua te whanaungatanga kia whanake noa me te kore e akiaki i ngā tohu paetae.

Te pānui e pā ana: 18 Ngā Tohu e Hiahia Ana Ia Kia Neke Koe (Kaua e Mahue Koe i Ēnei)

7. Hikoi paku atu i waho o tō rohe whakamarie

Ae, he tangata whakama koe, he nui ngā mea kei mua i a koe. Kaua e tukua tēnei mōhiotanga kia whakakake koe, kia whakamarie rānei i a koe anō, ā, mutu noa iho tō whakapau kaha. Kia maumahara, ka tupu te tipu ina panaia e koe ō rohe, ka hikoi atu i waho o tō rohe whakamarie, ahakoa he iti noa iho. Awhitia taua whakamā nā te mea ka taea e ngā mōrearea iti te arahi ki ngā hua nui. Nō reira, haere tonu,

• Whakamātauria ngā tautuhinga pāpori hou 
• Whakanuia te maia ki te mihi atu ki tētahi tangata hou i roto i tētahi taiao pāpori 
• Hono atu ki tētahi karapu, haere rānei ki ngā huihuinga ka taea e koe te tūtaki ki te tangata i runga i te āhua tūturu
• Werohia koe kia tīmata i tētahi kōrero hou i te wiki

Thoughts Final

Ahakoa he tāne whakama koe, ehara i te mea kāore koe e taea te noho i roto i te ao whakaipoipo. Kāore rawa. Ka taea e tō whakama te waiho hei kaha, hei mea ngaro, hei mea whakaaro nui, hei mea haumaru hoki koe i roto i tētahi huarahi e kitea ana e te tini o ngā kōtiro he mea e kore e taea te ārai. Ae, he wero kei reira, pērā i te tīmatanga o ngā kōrero, te tū motuhake rānei i roto i te mano, engari ko ēnei ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi. Ko te mea nui ko te arotahi ki ngā mea e motuhake ai koe, me te mahi i ngā mahi iti hei hanga i te maia me te whakaatu i te hiahia. Kaua e wehi ki te neke, ahakoa he ataata noa iho, he tohu atawhai rānei. Kei reira tētahi kōtiro e maioha ana ki a koe mō tō āhua.

Ngā Pae Teití Pai rawa atu e 8 mō te Hunga Whakamārama

12 Ngā Tohu Mārama Kua Rite te Kōtiro kia Kihia – INĀIANEI!

15 Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakamātau i te Wahine Moemoeā Mā Ngā Kupu Noa

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

Tirohia ta maatau Tukanga Etita

Tutaki ki ta maatau Poari Arotake

Tiri Urupare

He aha ō urupare?

×

āwhina Pūrongohia he Hapa He mea anō (kōrerohia mai he aha te horopaki)

Tuku