18 Ngā Tohu Whero mō te Teití Ipurangi Kaua e Whakahāweatia

Ko te whakaipoipo ipurangi te ahurea matua ināianei. Bumble, Hinge, Tinder, Happn — he mutunga kore ngā kōwhiringa. Kei te puta te aroha i runga ipurangi, ehara i te mea i roto i ngā pāka, i ngā pae inu, i ngā tari rānei. Heoi anō, kāore ngā mea i te tino tika pērā i te āhua, ā, i a koe e rapu ana i te aroha i te ao mariko, me tūpato koe ki ngā tohu ārai mō te whakaipoipo ipurangi.

He maha ngā tāngata e pāngia ana e ngā hapa me ngā whanonga e uaua ana ki te kite ahakoa he kanohi ki te kanohi. Mā te hononga mariko ka uaua ake te tukanga. Tērā pea ka pāngia koe e ngā wā whakaipoipo kino, ka tinihangatia koe, ka tūtaki ki ngā kaipahua whakaipoipo, ka tinihangatia rānei ō kare ā-roto, engari ko ētahi mōrearea o te whakaipoipo ipurangi ka arahi pea ki te whara tinana. 

I roto i tēnei tuhinga, ka tirohia e tātou ētahi tohu kino 18 mō te whakaipoipo ipurangi kaua rawa e warewaretia, me te āwhina mai i te tohunga hinengaro me te kaiwhakaora whanonga hinengaro o California, a Tākuta Shefali Batra (MD in Psychiatry), he tohunga ki te tohutohu mō te wehenga me te whakarere, te wehenga me te whakaipoipo, me ngā take hototahi i mua i te marena.

18 Ngā Tohu Whero mō te Teití Ipurangi Kaua rawa e warewarehia 

Nō reira, ko te tangata i taumautia e koe i ngā rā tata nei, he āhua whakarihariha tōna, arā, ko te whakapā atu ki a koe i te roanga o te rā. Kāore rānei i te ōrite te āhua o tā rātou whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, e kōrero ana mō ngā hāora i tētahi rā, ā, e ngaro atu ana i tētahi atu rā. Āe, ehara i te mea he mea whakamataku, he tohu kino rānei ngā āhuatanga rerekē katoa. Engari he pono ka puta he maha o ngā whanonga kāore e whakaaetia.

Hei tauira, ahakoa te āhua nei he hoa tino pai tō kōrua hoa ipurangi i te tīmatanga, ka kitea e koe kei te tomuri tonu rāua ina tūtaki kanohi ki te kanohi. Ki te mea ka mahi tonu rāua i tēnei whanonga me te kore whakamārama, me te kore whakapāha rānei, e whakaatu ana tēnei i tō rāua āhua kore whakaaro me te kore whakapau kaha ki a koe. E whakaatu ana hoki tēnei kei te whakanuia e rāua tō rāua wā me tō rāua wā i tōu. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu ārai i roto i te whakaipoipo ipurangi—i roto i tētahi momo whakaipoipo. Me titiro tātou ki ētahi atu tohu ārai e pā ana ki te whakaipoipo ipurangi e karanga ana, "Rere ki te huarahi kē!"

1. He pōuri, he uaua hoki te mōhio ki tō rā ipurangi

Ki te kore e taea e tō hoa te tuhi i tētahi kōrero tūturu, he uaua rānei ki te whakautu mai ki a koe, he tohu kino tēnei mō te taupānga whakaipoipo. Kua tae ki te wā kia whakarērea, engari i mua i tēnā, whakaarohia tēnei hei aro atu ki ēnei tauira tohu kino:

• Kāore e ranea te panuku noa hei pana matau. Whakamaua ō karu tirotiro, ā, whakamahia ō pūkenga whaiwhai tere. Mā te keri iti ka taea e koe te whakaora i a koe i ngā raruraru e tū mai nei, i te mamae rānei o te ngākau o tētahi hononga kino
• Kia mōhio ki ngā taunekeneke i roto i ā rātou kōrero, he huarahi ngāwari tēnei ki te mōhio ki a rātou
• Pātai tika atu ki a rātou mō tō rātou tamarikitanga, mō tō rātou mātauranga, mō tō rātou whānau, me ērā atu mea. Mēnā ka hē rātou i ngā kōrero maha, ka mōhio koe he mea kei te huna e rātou, he mea rānei kāore i te pono.

E whakamārama ana a Tākuta Batra: "He mea nui te ngoikore me te whakaatu i a koe anō hei hanga hononga, inā koa he whanaungatanga piripono. Ina kite koe kei te karohia ō pātai, he tohu tērā kāore pea te tangata i te pono."

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2. He tino pai rawa ā rātou whakaahua

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu ārai i runga i ngā pae whakaipoipo ko te raupapa o ngā whakaahua kua nui rawa te mahi. Mena he rite te kōtaha o tētahi ki tētahi rārangi tauira Vogue, kua hurihia pea ki te Photoshop, ā, he rūpahu, ā, ko tētahi o ngā tohu ārai i runga i te taupānga whakaipoipo . He maha ngā tāngata i runga i ngā pae whakaipoipo e whai wāhi ana ki te hopu whakaahua rūpahu, ki te kukume rānei i te tangata ki ngā whakaahua rūpahu. He pai ake te whai i tō kare ā-roto ka swipe maui hei utu mō te tinihanga, te tinihanga rānei.

E whakamārama ana a Tākuta Batra, "Ki te kite koe i ngā whakaahua he tino pai rawa atu, e mōhio ana koe kei te kaha rawa te tangata ki te mahi, kei te whakatikatika rānei i ētahi hapa. Nō reira, kia tūpato. Whakamātauria te waea ataata i ētahi wā i mua i te whakapau i ō kare ā-roto."

3. Ngā kōrero koiora rerekē

Ki te mea kei roto i tō rātou koiora he kupu pēnei i te "Kāore e rapu ana i te raruraru" me te "E rapu ana i tētahi kāore e aro nui ana ki a ia anō," oma atu ki te huarahi kē! Tērā pea ka puta te raruraru, ka whakahengia koe mō te aro nui ki te raruraru.

Anei te kōrero a tētahi kaiwhakamahi Reddit mō te kōrero koiora rerekē: "He rite tōku āhua ki a Brad Pitt engari e 300 pauna tōku taumaha, he pakira tōku, he kāinga kore, ā, e hiahia ana ahau ki te whakaipoipo i tētahi e pai ana ki te hikoi roa." Ahakoa kāore koe e aro ki te katakata kino, e whakaatu ana te kōrero koiora i te āhua o te tangata e kore e māia.

Pānui e pā ana: 13 Tohutohu hei Whakaipoipo Angitu i te Ipurangi, me te Kimi i tō Hoa Tino Pai

4. Ka whakamoea koe e rātou

Ko te whakapohehe i te tangata te mea tino kino rawa atu i roto i ngā ture tuku karere kuputuhi ipurangi, ā, he whanonga tino whakaute kore. Kāore koe e mōhio mena ko te take he kore hiahia, he koretake rānei. He tangata tinihanga noa iho rānei rātou , e tinihanga ana i tā rātou hoa tūturu ipurangi. E kī ana a Tākuta Batra, "Ina kite koe kua ngaro atu tētahi i tō ao mō ngā wā motuhake me te kore he whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, tera pea kei te mahi pērā rātou me ētahi atu tāngata."

Anei te kōrero a tētahi kaiwhakamahi Reddit mō tana wheako ki te whakapohehe i te tangata: "I whakapohehetia ahau (30F) e taku hoa tāne (34M) tata ki te tau o te whakaipoipo. Kua tino whakangaromia ahau e ia." Tērā pea, i roto i ēnei āhuatanga, he pai ake te whakaae ki te meka kua whakapohehetia koe i te kore aroha i te moumou i tētahi atu meneti ki a rātou. He rerekē te piri ki tētahi, engari kāore he painga o te whakaroa mena kua motuhia e rātou ngā whakapā katoa.

5. Ka takahia e rātou ngā rohe

Nō reira, kua tīmata kē kōrua te kōrero, ā, kei te pai haere ngā mea katoa, engari kāore e taea e rātou te mutu te whiti i ngā rohe i whakatakotoria e koe? He maha ngā wā ka puta tēnei ina nui ake te hiahia o tētahi i tētahi. Ka tīmata rātou ki te whakamahi i te mana whakahaere , ā, ka tumanako ki te nui atu i tāu i whakaae ai. Ko ētahi o ngā tohu whakatūpato o te whakaipoipo ipurangi ko:

• Ka whakamārama koe kāore koe i te motuhake, engari kei te mahi tonu rātou pērā i tō hoa hae
• Ka ngana rātou ki te whakawa i a koe kia mahi i tetahi mea, ā, ka tono kia mahi anō koe i taua mea hei whakaatu i tō whakapono
• Ka tukuna atu e rātou ngā whakaahua whakarihariha kāore i tonoa, ka tonoa rānei kia tukuna mai i mua i te rā tuatahi.

6. Kāore rātou e hui ki ngā wāhi tūmatanui

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu nui o te whakaipoipo ipurangi ko te korenga e tūtaki ki ngā wāhi e kitea ai, e whaia ai rānei rātou. Anei ētahi tauira tohu nui:

• Ki te mea ka akiaki tonu rātou i a koe kia tūtaki ki a rātou i tētahi wāhi tawhiti, i tō rātou kāinga rānei, kaua ki tētahi wāhi tūmatanui, kia tūpato nā te mea he kino pea ngā take mō ā rātou tūtakitanga.
• Mena ka tono tonu rātou kia tūtaki koe i tawhiti atu i tō rātou kāinga, tera pea kei te huna e rātou tetahi mea i a koe, hei tauira, he hoa rangatira

Tērā pea koinei ētahi o ngā tohu whakatūpato nui o te ika kākāriki (he tangata e huna ana i tōna tuakiri tūturu). E kī ana a Tākuta Batra, "Me tiaki koe i a koe anō i te whara, i te tahae, me te whakaeke moepuku hoki. Nō reira, me tūtaki ki te tangata i ngā wāhi tūmatanui anake, kia maha ngā wā hui tuatahi."

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7. He wawe rawa te whakamahi i ngā īngoa karanga 

E mōhio ana koe he tino hē kei tō hoa ina ngana ana rāua kia tata rawa atu. Ko tētahi o ngā tohu tino kitea o tēnei haki whero ko te wā e whakamahia ana e rāua ngā īngoa karanga pēnei i a sweetie, baby, me honey i te wā wawe rawa. He tino rerekē tēnei, ā, tera pea ka ahua whakarihariha ki ētahi. Tērā pea kua taurite koe ki tētahi tangata e whakamahi ana i aua īngoa karanga mō ā rāua hoa katoa, ā, kāore i te tino aro ki te whakaipoipo.

8. Ka whai rātou i a koe pinepine rawa

I puta ake rānei i te tangata e kī ana he tangata noho noa iho ia, he kōrero mō te oma marathon? Ko te panonitanga iti, nui rānei o tōna āhua he tohu whakatūpato pea tēnei o te whakaipoipo ipurangi. Ina ngana tetahi ki te whakaata i a koe me ō mea e pai ana ki a koe, hei miharo i a koe, tera pea nā te iti o tōna whakaaro ki a ia anō, nā te kore rānei e pai ki te whakaatu i tōna āhua tūturu ki a koe. E whakamārama ana a Tākuta Batra, "He tohu tēnei o te whakapau kaha rawa me te iti o tōna whakaaro ki a ia anō, ā, kāore i a ia he āhua motuhake. Nō reira, hei miharo i a koe, ka tīmata rātou ki te whai i a koe."

9. Tuku karere kuputuhi 

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu kino mō te tuku karere kuputuhi i mua i te rā tuatahi ko te wā ka tino pukuriri rawa rātou. E mārama ana mātou, e pai ana mātou katoa ki te tuku karere kuputuhi werawera, taumaha hoki i ētahi wā. Engari, ki te kore e whakaaetia ngātahitia, ā, ki te kore koe e noho haumaru ina uru atu rātou ki ō karere kuputuhi whaiaro , ka tata pea te tīmata ki te whakatoi.

Mena he whakaahua tahanga, he waea ataata werawera rānei tā rātou e tono ana, ā, he kupu whakahihiri ia karere ki te tuku karere kuputuhi, ko te kaupapa o te moe tāne, kaua ki te waihanga i te taumahatanga moepuku hauora. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu ārai mō te tuku karere kuputuhi ipurangi. E kī ana a Tākuta Batra, "Ina tūtaki koe ki tētahi i runga i tētahi pae tuku karere kuputuhi, ā, ka hiahia tonu rātou ki te tuku karere kuputuhi, e whakaatu ana he papaku noa iho ō rātou hihiri me ō rātou whakaaro. Kia tūpato ki tēnei."

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10. He rārangi tono rerekē tā rātou

Tērā pea kua kite koe (ā, ko te tumanako kua swipe maui koe) i ētahi tāngata e tuku rārangi roa ana i ngā 'mea me mahi' me ngā 'mea kāore e tika' kia pai ake ai te whiwhi i ngā whakataetae . Ko te nuinga o ēnei tono he papaku, he whakarihariha hoki. Anei ētahi tauira o ngā tohu ārai:

• Te rapu i ngā hoa taurite i runga i ngā āhuatanga tinana, pērā i te "neke atu i te 6 putu te roa"
• He tohu kino ngā tono whakakatakata pēnei i te, "Me whiwhi ia i te utu iti rawa e ono mati,"

Hei tā Tākuta Batra anō, "Ina kite koe i ngā tono rerekē mō te āhua o te whakapaipai i ō makawe, i ngā tohu rānei o te mana whakahaere, me hoki whakamuri tonu koe."

11. Ngā kare kino

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu kino i runga i ngā pae whakaipoipo ko te nui rawa o ngā kōrero kino i roto i te kōtaha o tō hoa. He maha ngā wā ka tūtaki tātou ki ētahi tāngata kei runga i ngā pae whakaipoipo engari te āhua nei he rite ki ngā kiripuaki i puta mai i tētahi aituā, e kōrero ana i ngā kōrero matatika hei whakamārama i ō rātou whakaaro kino. Kei te aro nui rātou ki te hoa o mua i tino kino ki a rātou, kei te riri rānei ki te ao, ā, he tino pouri.

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu ārai mō te tuku karere kuputuhi i mua i te rā tuatahi i muri i te tūtaki ipurangi , i roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ko te whakautu a te tangata ki ngā kupu kotahi, pērā i te "āe," "tika," me te "tino", ki ō karere katoa, ā, kāore e ngana ki te kawe i te kōrero ki mua. Kāore e taea e koe te whakaipoipo i tētahi tangata e pupū ana i te kino. E kī ana a Tākuta Batra, "Me whakawhirinaki ki ngā kare ā-roto. Ina kite koe i te whakahawea, te pouri, te mana whakahaere, tetahi mea rānei e ahua hē ana ki a koe, me whakaute koe i taua kare ā-roto."

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12. E whakaatu ana rātou i ō rātou taonga

Tirohia ā rātou whakaahua o te taupānga whakaipoipo, o Instagram rānei, ka mātakitaki. Kei te inu Chardonnay rātou i ia pō? Kei te taraiwa rānei ki te whare takaro i roto i tā rātou SUV i ia rā? Kei te hararei rānei ki ngā moutere tauhou i ia tau? Kei te karangahia ā rātou kōtaha ko Chanel, Gucci, me Fendi? Ki te kitea e koe tētahi e whakamanamana ana mō ō rātou āhua, taonga, me ngā āhuatanga, he tohu nui tēnei mō te whakaipoipo ipurangi, nā te mea kei te whakaari noa iho rātou.

E mea ana a Tākuta Batra, "Ina kitea e koe tētahi whakatutukitanga tino teitei, tētahi papamuri mātauranga whakahihi rānei, me kōrero hōhonu ake kia mōhio ai koe ki te āhua tūturu o taua tangata." Ahakoa he pono katoa ā rātou whakaaturanga, ko tō rātou āhua aro nui ki te moni te mea e whakaahuatia ana e Tākuta Batra hei "tohu tino pono o te koretake."

13. E tono ana rātou mō te āwhina pūtea

E rua wiki pea te roa o te kōrero a tētahi o ōku hoa, a Ashley, ki tētahi i runga i tētahi taupānga whakaipoipo . Ā, ka tono ohorere te tangata nei i ētahi moni hei takoha ki te putea maimoatanga mate pukupuku a tōna kuia. Inaianei, kāore ia e whakapae i tētahi mea mēnā kāore ia i tirotiro i tōna papamuri, ā, ka kitea kāore he tangata e mau ana i taua ingoa, ā, he rūpahu te kōtaha. Nō reira, hei tiaki i a koe mai i ngā kaipahua Tinder o te ao, me karo i te hunga e:

• Tonoa he moni i roto i ngā rā i muri i tō whakapā atu ki tētahi taupānga whakaipoipo
• Pātaihia ō taipitopito peeke, ngā taipitopito ATM/kāri nama rānei
• E hiahia ana koe kia mōhio ki ngā taipitopito o tō utu/moni whiwhi i roto i ngā rā i muri i te mōhio ki a koe

Koinei ētahi o ngā tohu whero e kitea ana i runga i ngā pae whakaipoipo. E kī ana a Tākuta Batra, "Ko te tangata e hiahia ana ki te whai hononga ki a koe, e kore ia e tono moni mai i a koe i te wā e whakaipoipo ana koe. Kia mōhio koe he hē ngā hihiri me ngā whāinga."

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14. Ka hohoro rātou ki te whai hononga

Ae, ko te tere o te adrenaline o tētahi hononga hou ka hiahia koe ki te mahi i ngā mea rerekē, pērā i te whakarerekē i te tūnga o tō hononga ki runga pāpāho pāpori, te tuku rānei i tō hoa ki te whakaatu i tō aroha whakahihiri. Engari kia tūpato ki te hunga e hiahia ana kia piripono koe i roto i te wiki i muri i te mōhio ki a koe. Me kī atu rānei aua kupu e toru i roto i ngā rā i muri i te tūtakitanga.

Ehara i te mea he tohu ngakaukore noa iho tēnei, engari ko tētahi o ngā tohu kino o te whakaipoipo ipurangi. Mena kei te tere rātou, tera pea ētahi take kāore i kitea e koe. E whakamārama ana a Tākuta Batra: "Ko te tikanga, ko ēnei tāngata ka uru atu ki roto i tā rātou whanaungatanga hei whakarei ake i tō rātou whakaaro korekore ki a rātou anō."

15. Ka whakamahere rātou, kātahi ka whakakore i ngā rā i te meneti whakamutunga

Āe, ka raru pea tō pūnaha io, ka manukanuka rānei koe. I tino harikoa taku hoa, a Andrea, mō te tāne hou i kōrero ia ki a ia i runga i te Bumble. Engari ko te raruraru, kāore anō rāua kia tūtaki ahakoa kua kōrero mō te marama. I taku kōrero whakamutunga ki a Andrea, ka kōrero ia i tana whakamātautau, "Kua hoha ahau inaianei. Te āhua nei he mea tonu ka puta ake i ngā rā e tika ana kia tūtaki māua."

Nā, he maha ngā take ka puta ai tēnei haki whero, ko ētahi o aua take ko:

• Kāore te tangata e hiahia ana ki te whakaipoipo i a koe, engari kei te pupuri noa i a koe kia noho noa hei kōwhiringa
• Kei roto kē te tangata i tētahi hononga nui ki tētahi atu, kua moe wahine rānei, ā, kei te whai take tuku karere kuputuhi ki a koe
• He nui ngā mea e hunaia ana e te tangata (ahakoa te āhua, te mana rānei) ā, kāore e taea e ia te tū atu ki a koe.

E mea ana a Tākuta Batra, "Kāore rātou i te tino mōhio, ā, ka pā pea tēnei ki tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō me tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō, nā te mea ka tīmata pea koe ki te ruarua i a koe anō."

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16. Kei runga rātou i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo engari kāore ā rātou kōtaha pāpāho pāpori

He mea tēnei kua tūtaki pinepine ahau i roto i taku haerenga whakaipoipo. Tērā pea ka whakaaro koe he mātau matihiko te tangata kei runga i tētahi taupānga whakaipoipo. Heoi anō, he maha ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e karo ana i te pātai i runga i ngā kōtaha pāpāho pāpori, ā, ka puta ake he whakamārama tauhou pēnei i:

• Kāore au i runga i a Pukamata nā te mea i taumanutia taku kōtaha i ētahi tau kua pahure.
• Kāore au i te pai ki te tohatoha i aku whakaahua ki runga i te Instagram engari he pūkete rūpahu tāku hei tāpiri atu i a koe.

Ko te nuinga o te wā, he mārama kei te huna e ēnei tāngata ētahi mea ngaro i a koe. Heoi anō, he rerekē tonu te ture. Ehara i te mea ko te hunga kāore he kōtaha pāpāho pāpori he hunga tinihanga, he hunga whakahihi rānei. Ko ētahi he tangata pai, he hunga tawhito, he hunga pakeke ake. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, me whai i ō whakaaro. 

Hei tauira, i tūtaki ahau ki tētahi tangata i kī mai kāore ia i runga i a Pukamata, engari i pātai mai ia ki ahau mō ētahi whakaahua i tukuna e au, ā, i whakatakotoria kia 'tūmatanui' ki runga i te papaaho. He mea whakamataku tēnei, ā, i kite ahau kei te teka te tangata mō te kore e noho ki runga i a Pukamata. Tērā pea kei te whaiwhai ia i ahau mā te whakamahi i tētahi pūkete rūpahu.

17. E hiahia ana rātou ki te whakapā atu ki a koe mā ngā taupānga karere i roto i ētahi hāora/rā

Ahakoa e whakaae ana mātou he tino pai ngā taupānga whakaipoipo, he pono anō hoki e pai ana mātou ki te kawe i tēnei ki mua i runga i ētahi atu taupānga kōrerorero, pērā i a iMessage, i a WhatsApp rānei. Engari ka ahua pōuri mena ka kitea e mātou te tangata kua tīmata noa tā mātou kōrerorero e tono ohorere ana i tāu nama waea mai ki a mātou kia tangohia ngā mea mai i te papaaho whakaipoipo. Kia tūpato ki tēnei mahi tinihanga, nā te mea ka kitea pea tēnei:

• He ipurangi pea rātou tangata tinihanga aroha e ngana ana ki te tāpiri i tō nama ki te rārangi tinihanga
• He tangata nanakia pea rātou, ā, ka tīmata pea te whaiwhai me te whakatoi i a koe mēnā ka hē te āhua o te ao. 

E mea ana a Tākuta Batra, "E whakaatu ana tēnei i te ngakaukore, ā, e hiahia ana koe ki tētahi e māia ana i roto i a ia anō."

Pānui e pā ana: Tohutohu mō te Teití Ipurangi – 23 Tohutohu Hira

18. Ka mataku rātou ina kore e rongo pinepine mai i a koe

Nō reira, kāore koe i taea te whakapā atu ki a rātou mō te rā kotahi nā te mea he kaupapa nui tāu i te mahi. I pāngia rānei koe e te mate, ā, kāore i taea te whakautu i ā rātou karere mō ngā rā e rua. Kātahi ka kite koe i te rerenga karere maha, ā, kei te haurangi tō rārangi waea me ō rātou ingoa. 

Āe, kei te mahi pea koe me tētahi tangata he āwangawanga hōhonu tōna. Ā, he pai ake te whakaatu atu i tēnei ki a rātou kia taea ai e rātou te whakatika i aua āwangawanga, kia wātea ai hoki ki te kōrero ki a koe, ki te whakaipoipo rānei ki a koe. E whakamārama ana a Tākuta Batra, "Ka whakamahia e ēnei tāngata ngā taupānga whakaipoipo hei hanga i tō rātou mana ake."

Ngā Tohu Whero mō te Teití: Me pēhea te tiaki i a koe anō i runga i ngā Taupānga Teití

I tēnei ao matihiko, he uaua te hoki ki ngā tikanga tuku iho o te whakaipoipo, te kimi huarahi rānei ki te tūtaki ki te tangata i waho o ngā taupānga whakaipoipo. Tērā pea ka hoki whakamuri tātou ki ngā wā o mua me te whakaipoipo toa, engari kua kore kē tēnā. Ko te taahiraa pai ki mua ko te whakarite i a koe anō ki ngā tikanga haumaru e tika ana kia pai ai te wheako whakaipoipo ipurangi.

Pānui e pā ana: Ngā Pātai Whakaipoipo Ipurangi Tino Rawe

Ahakoa kāore koe e hiahia kia mataara tonu i ngā wā katoa, he pai ake te mōhio ki ngā mea e tohaina ana e koe me te hunga e tohaina ana e koe. Me mōhio koe ki ngā tohu ārai mō te whakaipoipo ipurangi, ā, me karo hoki i aua tohu ārai hei hanga hononga i runga i te whakawhirinaki me te whakapau kaha. Anei ētahi tohutohu taketake hei maumahara māu i te wā e taunekeneke ana koe me tētahi hoa aroha pea i runga ipurangi, me te karo hoki i ngā tohu ārai mō ngā taupānga whakaipoipo:

1. Kia mau tonu tō tūmataitinga

Hei karo i ngā tohu ārai i runga i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo, puritia ō taipitopito whaiaro ki a koe anō. Ahakoa e hiahia ana tātou ki te hono atu me te whakapuaki i ō tātou oranga ki te hunga e whakaipoipo ana tātou, he pai ake kia kaua e whakaaturia ngā mōhiohio whaiaro kia mōhio ra ano koe ki a rātou. Ka taea e ngā kaipahua me ngā kaipahua te tahae me te whakamahi i ō mōhiohio hei patu i a koe, mā te whakamahi i ngā kōtaha rūpahu. Anei ngā mea hei mahi hei ārai i ngā tohu whakatūpato o te whakaipoipo ipurangi :

• Ki te kore koe e hiahia ki a Joe Goldberg (o te raupapa Netflix rongonui) koe) te tirotiro i tō koiora i runga i a Instagram, kia matara atu ō pāpāho pāpori i te kōtaha whakaipoipo
• Kaua e tohaina ngā taipitopito whaiaro ki ngā taupānga whakaipoipo (ina koa ko tō wāhi noho, tō whānau, ō tuhinga hauora, tō mahi, ō taipitopito peeke rānei, me ētahi atu mea nui)

2. Tohaina, engari kia tūpato

Ka taea e koe te kōrero ki a rātou mō tō oranga me te kore e whakaatu i ngā āhuatanga motuhake o te wāhi i tupu ai tētahi mea. Hei tauira, kaua e kōrero mō tētahi wharekai e pai ana koe, engari me mihi ki ōna kai me ōna āhua ataahua me te kore e whakaatu i tōna ingoa. Anei te huarahi hei mahi:

• Tērā pea ka uru atu ngā kaipahua ki te hangarau pāpori, ka pātai atu pea rātou ki a koe i ngā pātai āhua korekore hei whiwhi i tō whakawhirinaki me te kohikohi i ngā mōhiohio mōu. Nō reira, takaro ki ngā rohe
• Ka taea e koe te kī atu kāore koe i te pai ki te whakapuaki i ō taipitopito whaiaro ki a rātou
• Tangohia ngā raraunga matua mai i ngā whakaahua katoa e tohaina ana e koe. Hei tauira, ngana ki te huna i ngā mea e mōhiotia ana mai i ngā pikitia, pērā i te pereti waka.

3. Hangaia hei rohe kore-tu tahanga

Mā te tuku whakaahua piripono ki ngā tāngata tauhou i runga i te ipurangi ka raru pea koe. I mua i te tuku whakaahua kino, whakaahua tahanga rānei , whakaarohia ēnei tohu whakatūpato mō te whakaipoipo ipurangi:

• Ka taea e te tangata te tiaki i aua mea, te tuku atu, te whakawehi rānei i a koe mēnā ka hē te haere o ngā mea
• He taputapu pea tēnei hei whakawehi i a koe, hei tango moni, hei whakararuraru hoki i tō oranga

Pānui e pā ana: Te tuku whakaahua tahanga? E ai ki ā mātou tohunga haumaru ipurangi, kaua e tukuna

4. Manatokohia tō rātou tuakiri

He mea nui kia manatokohia tō rātou tuakiri mā te waea ataata me ō rātou kōtaha pāpāho pāpori, inā koa i mua i te neke ki tētahi taupānga whaiaro, te tohatoha i ngā mōhiohio tūmataiti, te tūtaki rānei. Nō reira, ka taea e koe te whakamātau i ēnei rautaki:

• Kia tirohia e koe i runga i ngā hongere pāpāho pāpori, i mua i te te noho motuhake
• Whakamahia ngā taputapu rapu whakaahua whakamuri hei kimi i tōna tuakiri tūturu
• Whakamahia ngā taupānga rongonui kei a rātou ā rātou ake pūnaha manatoko (hei tauira, i runga i te Bumble, ka taea e koe te tono ki te hoa taumau kia manatoko i ō rātou taipitopito)

5. Pūrongohia ngā kōtaha whakapae

I taurite koe ki tētahi e tono ana i a koe mō te āwhina pūtea? I panuku noa rānei koe i tētahi kōtaha rūpahu e whakamahi ana i ngā whakaahua rūpahu? He whanonga tohu whero noa tēnei. Ko tētahi o ngā mōrearea nui o te whakaipoipo ipurangi ko te tūtaki ki ngā kaipahua me ngā kaipahua. Kāore e ranea te swipe maui. Me ripoata koe i a rātou, ā, me hanga te taupānga hei wāhi haumaru ake mō te katoa.

Pānui e pā ana: Te Toi o te Teití Ipurangi: Te Whakatere i te Ao o ngā Taupānga me ngā Paetukutuku

6. Kōwhiria he taupānga e tika ana

Mā te whiriwhiri i te taupānga whakaipoipo tika, me te āta tupato, ka āwhina nui koe ki te karo i ngā whanonga haki whero ipurangi. Tērā pea he mahi koretake tēnei engari ka nui ake te tūponotanga ka kitea e koe te tangata tika. Ka taea e koe te whakamātau i ēnei taupānga:

• Ki te hiahia koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga tuwhera, he tūāpapa pai a Feeld hei tūtaki ki ētahi atu tāngata kāore i te moe tāne, wahine rānei.
• Tērā pea kei roto koe i te hapori LGBTQIA+, ā, e hiahia ana koe ki te hono atu ki ngā wāhine takatāpui. Mēnā koinei te āhua, he pai pea te taupānga pāpori e kiia nei ko HER. He takatāpui, he hoa hoki ki ngā takatāpui, ā, māu anake, i roto i ngā tini atu Ngā taupānga whakaipoipo LGBTQIA
• He mea nui anō hoki kia whakaarohia te momo whanaungatanga e rapuhia ana e koe. Ahakoa e whakamahia ana ngā taupānga rongonui pēnei i a Tinder me Bumble hei kimi hononga wā roa, ko ētahi taupānga pēnei i a EliteSingles e whakamahia ana hei rapu mātua huka whai rawa.

Pātai Auau

Kia mau ki ō uara, kaua hoki e hohoro te uru atu ki ngā mōrearea o te whakaipoipo ipurangi mā te whakararu i tō haumaru. Āta karohia ngā tohu ārai o te whakaipoipo ipurangi, ā, ka taea e koe te noho haumaru me te kimi ngāwari i te aroha o tō ao i runga i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo. Whakatakotoria he tere me te wāhi e pai ai te pārekareka ki te whakaipoipo ipurangi!

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Arotake i te Taupānga Teití Upward (2022)

Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.