21 Ngā Mea e Me Mahi, Ngā Mea Kāore e Me Mahi Ina Tīmata He Hononga Hou

He rite tonu te tīmatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga hou ki te whakahou i tētahi whare tawhito. Ka pātai koe, me pēhea? Āe, anei rā. Mēnā me tīmata he whanaungatanga ki tētahi, tera pea he ara pahekeheke. Tērā pea nā te mea me whiriwhiri koe i te tangata tika, pērā i tō manukanuka ki te whiriwhiri i ngā mea tika mō tō whare. Kāore e tika kia tino tika ngā pakitara, ngā mea whakapaipai, ngā whakapaipai me ētahi atu āhuatanga o tēnei whare e hangaia ana e koe, engari me rite ki tō āhua. 

Koinei te mea e tino ōrite ai ngā mea e rua. Ko te whakauru atu ki tētahi hononga hou me tētahi tangata hou he huringa nui, ā, ko te tumanako ka pai ake, ka harikoa ake tō ao i tō mua. Engari me whai whakaaro pai hoki koe ki te tīmatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga hou, me mārama, me whakaaroaro hoki.

Ki tonu te whanaungatanga pai i te aroha, engari ehara i te mea ngāwari. He nui te mahi, te wā me te whakaaro e pau ana ki roto, pērā i te whakapau kaha ki te whakahou i tētahi whare. Nā te mea, kāore koe e hiahia kia rerekē te āhua o tō rūma noho i tō whakaaro. Me te tohunga hinengaro a Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology), he tohunga ki te CBT, REBT me te tohutohu mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine, me ruku hohonu tātou ki ngā tohutohu mō te whakaipoipo mō ngā whanaungatanga hou hei whakamahi pai i tēnei upoko hou o tō koiora.

Te Tīmatanga i tētahi Hononga Hou – 21 Ngā Mea e Me Mahi, Ngā Mea Kāore e Me Mahi

He mea pea ka āwangawanga koe mō ngā mea ka puta i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hou, i te raruraru whakapoauau mutunga kore rānei o te wāhi i te wā e whakaipoipo ana, ina mutu te wā marena hou. Hei whakamahi pai i ō wheako me tēnei whakaurunga hou ki tō ao, he iti noa ngā mea hei maumahara māu i te tīmatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga hou hei whakaora i a koe.

Ki te mea kei te mataku koe, kia mārama koe ehara te manukanuka hou i te tīmatanga o te whanaungatanga aroha i te mea kino. Inaa, he mea noa ake te manukanuka i te tīmatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga hou i tō whakaaro. He tohu noa iho tēnei kei te āwangawanga koe mō tāu e uru atu ana, ā, kei te aro atu koe ki a koe anō.

E mea ana a Nandita ki a tātou, "He rite te urunga ki tētahi whanaungatanga hou ki te tomo ki ngā wai kāore anō kia whakamatautauria, nā te mea kāore te tangata e tino mōhio me pēhea te whanaketanga. Nō reira, he mea noa te manukanuka nā te mea he maha ngā pātai mō te heke mai e puta ake ana i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga. Engari i tua atu i taua manukanuka, he nui hoki te harikoa. Nō reira, mēnā ka taurite ēnei mea e rua, me pai katoa."

He mea noa iho te pēnei o te whakaaro ina tīmata ana koe i tētahi hononga hou. Engari ki te mea kei te taumaha koe i tēnā, kaua e manukanuka. Kei a mātou ngā mea hei āwhina i a koe kia māmā ake te mahi. Anei ngā mea e 21 hei mahi, me ngā mea kāore e tika ana kia mahia e koe ina tīmata ana koe i tētahi hononga hou.

1. Me mahi: Kia tino aro atu koe ki ngā mea tika mō rātou 

He moumou taima nui te tīmata i tētahi hononga hou ki tētahi e whakaaro ana koe he ātaahua, he ngahau rānei te noho tahi. Ahakoa he mea nui ēnei i ngā rā tuatahi o te whakaipoipo, me keri hohonu koe, me mihi ki ō rātou āhuatanga hohonu . Ko te whai wāhi atu ki tētahi atu tangata ko te mōhio me te pai ki a rātou i roto, ā, he mea nui tēnā mēnā ka tīmata koe i tētahi hononga ki tētahi.

He mea ngahau, he mea whakahihiri hoki ngā kōrero whakakatakata, ngā whanonga whakahihi i te tīmatanga me ngā rā tuatahi. Heoi, i te tīmatanga o tētahi hononga hou, ka taea e tētahi hononga whai tikanga te whakatakoto i tētahi turanga pai. Tērā pea ka mihi koe ki tōna pono ki ōna mātua, ka aroha rānei koe ki tana whakapau kaha ki tana mahi. Whakapaua he wā ki te whakaaroaro he aha tāu e tino pai ai ki a rāua, me te aha hoki i tino kukume i a koe ki a rāua.

2. Kaua: Me kōrero tonu mō ō hoa o mua 

Ko te whanaungatanga hou 101 te mea kia kaua rawa e hoki ki te ara o ō mahara aroha. He pai te whakapuaki i ētahi kōrero whakakatakata i konei, i reira. Heoi, kaua e mataku i tō hoa hou mā te whakahua tonu i tētahi hoa tawhito. I a koe e haere ana i roto i ngā wāhanga o tētahi whanaungatanga hou, tera pea ka meinga rātou kia māharahara, ā, ehara tēnā i te tohu pai mō te heke mai o tō whanaungatanga. 

Mā te kī atu, "I tino pai ki taku hoa o mua, ki a Matthew, te pai paru i tēnei wharekai" i a koe e kai tina ana me tō hoa hou, ka tangi te whakaoho i roto i tōna hinengaro. Kia mau tonu te whakahua i ngā hoa o mua kia kore ai e mataku i tō hoa hou, inā koa ka tīmata he hononga hou i muri i te wehenga. Tērā pea kei te āwangawanga kē rātou kei kore rātou e ōrite ki tō hoa o mua, inā koa mēnā kei te puta atu koe i tētahi hononga uaua, roa rānei. Kia mahara kāore rātou i haina mō tētahi whakataetae ki ō hononga o mua.

E mea ana a Nandita, "Ina kōrero tātou mō ō tātou hoa o mua, mai i tō tātou tirohanga, tera pea kei te kōrero noa tātou, kei te whakamārama hoki i ngā mea i tupu i roto i tō tātou whanaungatanga o mua. Tērā pea kei te whakaaro koe kei te ngana noa koe ki te whakamārama ki tō hoa ko wai koe. Engari kāore te hoa e titiro pērā ana. Tērā pea ka noho pōuri rātou, ka noho māharahara, ā, ka whakaaro pea kei te mau tonu ō kare ā-roto ki tō hoa o mua. Tērā pea ka whakaaro rātou kei te whakataurite koe i tō hoa o mua ki a ia, ka tino pāpouri tēnei i roto i te whanaungatanga. Whakahuatia noa iho tō hoa o mua mēnā e tika ana, engari kia mōhio koe, kua mutu taua wāhanga o tō oranga."

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3. Me mahi: Kōrerohia ō kare ā-roto me ō tumanakohanga kia mārama

Ko ngā tīmatanga harikoa me ngā whanaungatanga harikoa e hiahia ana kia pono, kia tuwhera hoki te kōrero i waenganui i ngā hoa e rua. Ahakoa he mea e harikoa ana, e kore rānei e pai ki a koe, me whakatakoto e koe ngā mea katoa ki runga i te tēpu. Ko ēnei rā tōmua te wā pai ki te mōhio tetahi ki tetahi. Nō reira, ki te tīmata i tētahi whanaungatanga hou, me tino pono koe.

Kāore e taea te pupuri i te manukanuka kei whara ō rātou kare ā-roto , kei mahi rānei koe i ngā mea kāore koe e hiahia kia hari ai rātou i te wā roa. He pai ake te noho ko koe tonu mai i te tīmatanga, kia mōhio ai rātou ki ō mea e pai ana ki a koe, me ō mea e kore e pai ki a koe. Whakaarohia tēnei tetahi o ngā tohutohu whakaipoipo nui mō ngā whanaungatanga hou.

4. Me mahi: Kia mārama ki ō rātou rohe tinana me ō rātou rohe moepuku 

He rerekē te whanaketanga me te whakamarie o te taatai ​​i ia whanaungatanga ki ia whanaungatanga. Ko ētahi ka puta mai i te hototahitanga whakamiharo o te taatai ​​i kitea e koe mai i te tīmatanga, ko ētahi ka whai wā ki te whakaatu i te aroha tinana me te tae ki taua taumata o te ngawari o te taatai. Nā te maha o ngā kupu mō ia tangata, me mātau koe ki te ine i te tūranga o tō hoa i roto i tēnei whārite.

Kaua e whakaroa, kaua hoki e mataku ki ngā pātai mō te moepuku ina tīmata he whanaungatanga hou. Ko te mea nui ake, kia māia koe ki tō tūnga, kaua hoki e hohoro te moepuku ki te kore koe e hiahia. Mā te whakararuraru i te whakamarie ka whakararuraru anō hoki i te aroha kua puāwai tae noa mai ki tēnei wā.

5. Kaua: Whakaarihia he hoa porangi mēnā me tīmata he whanaungatanga ki tētahi

Ko te whakatau i te pātai "He aha koe i kore ai e waea mai i tō hokinga mai i te mahi?", te whiwhi karere kuputuhi rānei "Kei te ngaro koe i ahau" ka uaua pea mō te tangata e tīmata ana i tētahi hononga hou. Me ako koe ki te wātea i te wā e whakaipoipo ana koe me te wetewete i ngā here ki a rātou. Ki te kore koe e tuku wāhi ki a rātou i roto i te hononga , tera pea ka ohorere rātou.

E mōhio ana mātou kei te tīmata pea kōrua i tētahi hononga hou, ā, kei te mataku kei whara kōrua, kei mahue rānei kōrua, engari kia ngana kia mahi i tētahi mea. He wā tonu tēnei kei te rapu kōrua i tā kōrua e hiahia ana mai i tēnei. Kia mārama ki tā rāua hiahia mō te wāhi i te wā e whakaipoipo ana. 

E kī ana a Nandita, "Kī tonu te whanaungatanga hou i te ngākau nui, ā, ka uru mai pea ngā āhuatanga hae i te mea kei te tūhura tonu te tangata i te whanaungatanga. Heoi anō, he wāhanga nui te hae o ngā whanaungatanga katoa. He pai te hae i roto i ngā mahi iti, nā te mea ka noho mataara koe, ka rere tonu te ngākau nui. Engari ina kaha rawa, ka waiho hei raruraru. Me kimi hoki he aha te mea e tino whakahaere ana koe, e tino manukanuka ana hoki."

6. Kaua e: Ngāna ki te whakaatu i tōu tuakiri i ngā wā katoa 

Ko te mea kia hohonu ake te aroha o te tangata ki a koe, kia whakamanawa atu hoki ki a ia kua tika tā rātou whiriwhiri, ehara i te take hei whakamanamana. Ahakoa he mahi papai nāu i Wall Street, he motuka hou, he hararei whakamutunga rānei ki Hawai'i, kāore he tangata e pai ki te tangata kōrero nui e kore e mutu te kōrero mōna ake. Heoi, e mārama ana mātou ki tēnā. Ko te wehi kei tīmata he whanaungatanga hou, me te manukanuka kei wehe atu rātou i a koe, ka ngana pea koe ki te utu nui rawa atu.

Engari whakaarohia pēnei. E hiahia ana koe kia aroha tō hoa hou ki a koe mō tō āhua, kaua mō ngā taonga kei a koe i roto i tō ao. Ki te mau tonu koe i tēnei whakaaro whakahihi, tera pea kāore he wāhi mō ngā whanaketanga aroha tūturu, tūturu rānei. Kei te hiahia koe kia angitu tētahi whanaungatanga hou? Haere noa ki waho, kia noho ko koe tonu.

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7. Meatia: Whakaaturia ki a rātou e aroha ana koe ina tīmata he whanaungatanga hou 

Ka whakapaipaihia te tīmatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga hou e tētahi wā honi werawera me ngā painga mutunga kore, me te kore rawa o te pouri. He mea nui tēnei wā nā te mea he nui te aro me te āwangawanga e hiahiatia ana. Ina koa ka tīmata tētahi whanaungatanga hou i muri i te wehenga, he mea nui tēnei wā hei aromatawai mēnā kua rite koe mō tēnei upoko hou me tēnei tangata. Nō reira, hei tīmatanga tika, me whakaatu e koe kei a koe te kaha ki te whakapau kaha me te rite mō te whakaipoipo motuhake me tēnei tangata.

Mahia ngā mea e meinga ai rātou kia whakaaro he mea nui rātou, ā, e manakohia ana hoki i roto i tō ao. Ko tētahi o ngā tohutohu mō te tīmata i tētahi whanaungatanga hou ko te tuku i ngā mahi aroha iti pēnei i te tuhituhi reta whakawhetai ki a rātou, te tuku putiputi ki tā rātou wāhi mahi, te mātaki rānei i tā rātou kiriata tino pai ki a rātou, he mea nui tēnei. Mā tēnei, ka mōhio rātou kei roto koe i tēnei whanaungatanga mō te wā roa.

8. Meatia: Kia pono ki ō ake hiahia kare ā-roto

I te tīmatanga o tētahi hononga hou, kei te uru atu kōrua ki tētahi ao whakawhitiwhiti kare ā-roto nui, e whakatutuki ana kōrua i ngā hiahia kare ā-roto nui o tētahi ki tētahi . Ko te mārama ki ngā kare ā-roto o tētahi atu tangata tētahi o ngā tohutohu nui mō te whakaipoipo i ngā hononga hou. Me mōhio koe ki ā rātou tauhohenga, ki ā rātou urupare me ā rātou tumanakohanga. Inaa, whakaarohia ngā pātai hei pātai mā kōrua ina tīmata ana i tētahi hononga hou, kia mōhio ai kōrua kei te whārangi kotahi.

I taua wā anō, kaua hoki e waiho ō ake hiahia kare ā-roto ki muri. He pai te whanaungatanga māu ina whakarongohia ō hiahia. Kaua e wareware ki a koe anō hei whakaaro noa iho. Kaua e tukua te wehi ki te tīmata i tētahi whanaungatanga hou kia whakaae koe ki ngā mea katoa e hiahiatia ana e rātou. Kia u ki ō ake hiahia me ō hiahia.

9. Meatia: Whakamātauria ngā mea hou mā rātou

I te tīmatanga o tētahi hononga hou, arotahi ki te ako ki te hanga hononga aroha e whakawhirinaki ana tetahi ki tetahi . Tērā pea ka puta he tipu wairua nui, he tūhura i tētahi māramatanga pai ake ki te ao, he whakamātau noa rānei i tētahi pūkenga hou. Ina whakaaetia e koe tētahi tangata hou ki roto i tō ao, me whakaaetia hoki e koe ngā mea katoa e kawea mai ana e rātou ki te tēpu. Koinei te mea tino whakahihiri mō ngā wāhanga tīmatanga o tētahi hononga hou.

Ahakoa he rerekē rawa kōrua, e mōhio ana koe he take tōu e pai ana ki a ia, nō reira kua tae ki te wā kia kaha ake koe ki te whakaatu i te aroha i roto i tētahi hononga hou. Hei tauira, ki te mea he tāne tāone koe, ā, he kotiro whenua ia, ka taea e koe te tūhura i te whenua hei painga mōna. Ehara i te mea ka āwhina tēnei i a koe ki te mōhio pai ake ki tō hoa, engari ka āwhina anō hoki i a koe ki te hono atu ki ētahi wāhanga o tō tuakiri kāore anō kia tūhuratia. 

10. Kaua: Te keri ki roto i ō rātou hītori 

Ina haumi koe ki tētahi tangata hou, tera pea ka whakaaro koe mēnā ko ia te mea tika māu. Ko te hiahia ki te mōhio mō ētahi atu mea kei roto i tō rātou kākahu, ko te mataku rānei kei whakawhirinaki katoa ki a rātou, he āwangawanga tika katoa ēnei, inā koa mēnā kei te mataku koe ki te tīmata i tētahi whanaungatanga hou. 

Engari ko tētahi o ngā mea hei maumahara māu i te tīmatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga hou, kaua e whakararuraru i a rātou ki ō pātai katoa. Ko te huarahi hei aro atu ki ēnei āwangawanga ko te pātai atu i ngā pātai tika, kaua hoki e takaro i a Sherlock me te mea kia noho pōrearea rātou. Pātai atu ki a rātou he aha tāu e hiahia ana kia mōhio, kaua e meinga kia rite ki te uiuinga.

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11. Meatia: Kia tūpato ki ngā tohu whero ina tīmata he whanaungatanga hou 

He ataahua te aroha, ā, he wāhanga nui tēnei o te hinganga ki te aroha. Engari kia mau te aroha, kaua e rere ki roto i te kapua o te aroha nui. Mā te āta haere i tētahi hononga hou ka whai wā koe ki te aro ki ngā taipitopito. Tērā pea ka miharo koe ki te harikoa, engari me tūpato tonu koe i mua i te hinganga ki te tangata hē. 

Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe kei te hē tetahi mea i te tīmatanga o te whanaungatanga, kaua e waiho tō kare ā-roto ki te taha. Whakawhirinaki ki tō puku ina pēnei ō kare ā-roto. Whakawākia te āhua o tā rātou urupare ki a koe, ō mahi whakatairanga, ō aroha me ō kare ā-roto. Kei te hiahia rātou ki te hanga huringa māu, ki te mārama hoki ki a koe? He mea noa iho rānei hei whakangāwari i a rātou? Kaua e warewarehia ngā tohu ārai i roto i te whanaungatanga .

12. Kaua: Kia wehi i ngā whawhai 

Kāore e maha ngā wā e whawhai ana i te tīmatanga o tētahi hononga hou, engari i ētahi wā ka puta he rerekētanga. Ki te kore tō hoa e harikoa ki tētahi mea, ā, kei te pōuri ia, kaua e oma atu i a rātou nā te mea he hononga hou tēnei, ā, kāore koe i te tino mōhio me aha koe.

Kia manawanui i te tīmatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga, he nui te mahi, te whakapau kaha, me te auau e hiahiatia ana. Ehara i te mea pai te mataku mō ngā tautohe iti o te whanaungatanga . Ahakoa he mea hou, ehara i te mea ka tino maeneene. Noho tonu, mārama, whakautu tahi, ā, whakatikahia te raruraru kei mua i a koe.

E kī ana a Nandita, "Ko te manawanui i te wā o te pakanga ka puta mai i te wheako, ā, he nui te pānga ki tō ake tuakiri me tō āhua. Ko te ture matua hei whai māu, ki te riri, ki te pōuri rānei tētahi o ngā hoa, me whakatau wawe tētahi atu kia manawanui. Tukua te hoa riri kia whakaputa i ōna whakaaro. I taua wā, kia kaua e riri, kia kaua e hoki whakamuri. Whakatauhia i mua he aha te mea hei mahi mēnā ka uru koe ki tētahi pakanga nui. Ki te mōhio koe ki ēnei kaupapa matua i mua, ka tino mōhio koe ki te whakahaere pai ake ina tupu."

13. Meatia: Kia tūpato ki ō ngoikoretanga 

Mō te tuku i tō tātou tiaki, he pai ake ki te nuinga o tātou te mahi mārire. Tērā pea ka pātai pinepine koe ki a koe anō, me pēhea te tīmata mārire i tētahi whanaungatanga? Ko tētahi huarahi ki te mahi i tēnā ko te tūpato ki ngā mea katoa e whakakitea ana e koe mōu ake. Ehara i te mea ko ngā kōrero pouri katoa he kōrero mō te rā. Ina koa ka tīmata he whanaungatanga hou i runga ipurangi, kia tūpato ake ki te nui o te moni e hoatu ana e koe.

Nō reira, i a koe e whakaaro ana ki ngā pātai nui hei pātai māu i te tīmatanga o tētahi hononga hou, kia mōhio koe kāore e taea te koretake, ā, me whai whakaaro nui. Me whakatuwhera noa te tangata i ō whakaaro ina kua whakatipuhia te whakawhirinaki. Ki te tere rawa tō whakauru atu, tera pea ka ngāwari ake koe ki te whara, ki te tinihangatia rānei, inā koa mēnā he raruraru whakawhirinaki kē tōu. Me mahi i ngā takahanga iti, ā, ka kitea e koe tō ara. 

14. Kaua e: Meinga rātou hei pokapū o tō oranga

E mea ana a Nandita, "Ka uru rawa ētahi tāngata ki tētahi whanaungatanga hou, ka uru atu ki tēnei tangata hou, ā, ka tīmata rātou ki te wareware i ngā mea katoa o ō rātou ake oranga. Ka arahi tēnei ki te raruraru o te aro taha kotahi, ā, kāore i te pai mō te hauora. I muri i ētahi wiki, ka mōhio pea koe kua wareware koe ki tāu mahi, kāore rānei koe e noho tahi me ō hoa , ā, he uaua pea ki te hoki ki te huarahi tika me te pupuri anō i taua taurite."

He hoa hou noa iho. Ahakoa he mea nui, he mea whakahihiri hoki tēnā, kei a koe tonu tō ake oranga hei tiaki. Mēnā ka āta haere koe i tētahi whanaungatanga hou, me āta whatu hoki e koe tō hoa hou ki roto i ngā wāhanga kē atu o tō oranga. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te whakaiti i ētahi atu mahi me ngā hoa kia wātea ai he wāhi mō rātou! 

15. Me mahi: Kia mōhio ki tā rātou reo tinana

Hei tangata tino whakapuaki whakaaro, he maha ngā huarahi e taea ai e tātou te kōrero i tua atu i ngā kupu. He ngāwari, he māmā, he tika hoki ngā kupu. He rerekē te ātaahua o ngā tohu reo tinana me ngā nekehanga ahurei, inā koa ka tīmata koe i tētahi whanaungatanga hou.

E ai ki te kōrero, he matapihi ngā kanohi ki te wairua, engari kāore i te tino arohia ngā tohu kore-waha a te tangata. He maha ngā kare ā-roto e whakaatahia ana i roto i ō tātou tū, i ō tātou nekehanga me ō tātou āhua. Mā te mōhio ki te reo tinana o tō hoa ka nui te āwhina ki te mārama ko wai rātou.

16. Kaua e: Whakapāngia rātou ki ngā pātai katoa hei pātai atu ina tīmata he whanaungatanga hou

Ae, he mea maori te manukanuka mō te heke mai, me te manukanuka anō hoki ina tīmata he whanaungatanga hou. Akene kei te hiahia koe kia mōhio kei te haere mai he heke mai, kia kite hoki rātou i a koe i roto i ā rātou whāinga roa. Mā te tīmatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga ka tino mataku koe mō te āhua o te heke mai me te āhua o ngā tau torutoru e whai ake nei o tō oranga. 

Heoi, mā te kōrero tonu mō taua mea, me te pātai atu ki tō hoa mō ō rātou wawata, ka pāngia pea rātou e te taumahatanga, ā, kāore e tino whai hua ina ngana ana koe ki te whakahaere i tētahi whanaungatanga hou. Kia mau ki ia rā, kia pai te haere, ā, wareware ki te ahotea mō ngā mea ka tupu, kāore rānei. Hei tāpiri, tera pea ka mataku wawe tō hoa mena kāore anō kia whiwhi i ngā whakautu ki ō pātai. 

Pānui e pā ana: Kāore e taea e māua te whakamutu i tō māua whanaungatanga, kāore hoki māua e kite i tētahi heke mai tahi…

17. Meatia: Kia mau ki ō tumanakohanga

Tērā pea ka miharo koe ki te whakaaro koia tēnei, ko ia rānei te hoa rangatira, engari me pupuri taua whakaaro mō tētahi wā poto. E hiahia ana tātou kia mau tonu ngā whanaungatanga katoa tae noa ki te mutunga, kia kite hoki i te 'hoa rangatira' i roto i ia tangata e whakaipoipo ana tātou. E tino mōhio ana ahau kua kōrero kē ngā wheako ki a koe kāore i te pērā. 

Ngāna kia manawanui i te tīmatanga o te whanaungatanga. Noho, mārama, kōrero ki tētahi e aroha ana koe ki a ia , ā, waihangahia he mea whakamiharo. Heoi anō, kia mātau hoki ki ngā mea katoa, kaua hoki e tīmata ki te whakarite i tētahi marena me te tangata kua tīmata kē koe te piripono.

E kī ana a Nandita, "I roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hou, he mea nui kia ata haere. Me whai wā, ā, kia ono marama pea, kia mārama ai koe ki tō hoa. I roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hou, ka whakaatu te katoa i ō rātou kaha, ko te tikanga ka kite koe i ō rātou taha pai i te tīmatanga. I roto i tētahi wā, ka tīmata pea koe ki te mārama ki te tangata katoa. Koia te mea nui kia kaua e nui rawa ngā tumanakohanga kia pahemo rā anō ētahi marama."

18. Meatia: Kaua e hae ki te taha mena me tīmata he whanaungatanga ki tētahi

Ko tētahi o ngā tohutohu tino nui mō ngā tāne mō ngā whanaungatanga hou ko te pupuri i ō rātou āhua toa, tiaki rawa. He tokomaha ngā tāne e whakaaro ana mā te whanonga rangatira i te tīmatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga hou ka whakaatu i tō rātou whakapau kaha, ā, he mea nui hoki mō tētahi whanaungatanga hou. 

Heoi, ko te nuinga o ngā wāhine kāore e pai ki tēnei āhuatanga i tua atu i tētahi wā. Ko te whanaungatanga hou he hanga whakawhirinaki, whakapau kaha me te pono. Ko ngā tohu o te hae kino ka whakaoho noa i te riri, ā, kāore e pai ai te whanaungatanga hou. Kia aroha i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hou, ae, engari ko te whakahaere me te pokanoa ehara i te aroha.

19. Meatia: Kia taurite te mahi, ā, tukua te wehi ki te tīmata i tētahi whanaungatanga hou

E mārama ana mātou ki te āhua o te tīmatanga o tētahi hononga hou, engari kei te mataku koe kei whara koe, nō reira ka tatari koe kia mahi rātou i ngā mahi katoa, engari kāore e tukua tō tiaki. Engari he hē tēnā ki a koe, ki a rāua hoki.

Mō ngā tohu ā-ringa, ngā karere kuputuhi ata ataahua , ngā kupu reka kore rānei, kia ngana ki te whakahoki i te aroha e tukuna nuitia ana e tō hoa. Ahakoa kua tīmata he whanaungatanga hou i te wā o te COVID, ā, kāore e taea te tūtaki ki a rāua, he maha ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi. Tukuna atu he kete manaaki ki a rāua, whakaritea he pāti Netflix, tohaina rānei he tohutao, ka tunu tahi mā te waea ataata.

Me haere tahi ngā mahi reka i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hou. Mā tēnei ka mārama ai kei roto koe i tēnei āhuatanga, pērā i a rātou. Kāore koe e hiahia kia waiho tō hoa hou kia whakaaro noa mēnā e pai ana koe ki a ia, kāore rānei! 

Pānui e pā ana: 10 Ngā Huarahi Kua Whakamātauhia hei Whakaatu i tō Aroha ki tētahi

20. Kaua e: Whakanohoia rātou ki runga i te turanga

I roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hou, tērā pea ka huri tō ao ki tō hoa aroha hou. I a koe e hura ana i ngā paparanga o ō rātou tuakiri, e mōhio ana ki a rātou, tērā pea ka nui haere tō aroha ki a rātou. Kāore e roa, tērā pea ka miharo koe ki a rātou tae noa ki te wā ka mutu tō whakaaro ki a koe anō. Engari ko tētahi o ngā tohutohu mō te tīmata i tētahi whanaungatanga hou ko te mōhio ki hea te whakatakoto i tētahi rohe.

Ko tō whakaute me tō mana ake te mea nui ake i tētahi whanaungatanga. Me whakarite kia kaua e tukua kia mate. Kia rite te whakaute ki a koe ki tāu e hoatu ana ki tō hoa, inā koa i te tīmatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga hou i runga ipurangi, i te tīmatanga rānei o tētahi whanaungatanga hou i te wā o te Covid, ina ngāwari te riro i te titiro me te harikoa.

21. Me mahi: Whakamahia ō akoranga o mua hei tohutohu mō ngā whanaungatanga hou

He maha ngā akoranga i mahue mai i ō whanaungatanga o mua hei whakarerekē i tō ao. Ahakoa he māramatanga hohonu ki ngā kare ā-roto, he rautaki whakaoti rapanga rānei – whakamahia ēnei akoranga hei hanga i tētahi turanga pakari mō tō whanaungatanga hou. Mā tēnei koe e āwhina ki te whakatau i ngā kōwhiringa pai ake, me te mārama ki ō kare ā-roto i te tīmatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga.

Ahakoa te kino o tō hītori, kua hangaia koe hei tangata o nāianei. Kia whakanuia, kia whakamahia hei painga māu mā te whakamahi i ngā tohutohu mō te whakaipoipo hei āwhina i ngā whanaungatanga hou. He mea whakahihiri te tīmatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga hou ināianei, kāore? He mahi iti te mahi, engari koinei te āhua o te aroha. Ehara i te kēmu Ludo ngāwari engari he maze uaua. Engari ki te taha koe o te tangata tika, e kore rawa koe e hiahia ki te puta atu i tēnei maze! 

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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.