He mahi wā-katoa te aroha ki tētahi. Ae, e kīia ana e au he mahi nā te mea me aro tonu koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga. Ā, me pēhea? Ahakoa e whakaae ana koe, e kore rānei, te aroha ki tētahi, te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, te pupuri i te aroha, te whakarite ohorere, te moe tāne, te horoi rihi, te mahi tahi me te whānau, te noho tahi – he mahi nui katoa ēnei. Ka kite koe i a koe anō e kore e makona nā te mea kei te whakaaro koe kāore koe e whiwhi ana i te aro nui mai i tō hoa tāne, i tō hoa wahine rānei, i tō hoa rangatira rānei.
Engari, ki te manaakitia koe, ā, kei te pai te haere o ngā mea, tera pea ka ahua ngāwari noa iho tēnei mahi. Tērā pea kāore koe e kite; ko tō āhua tuarua tēnei. Ā, ki te aroha nui koe ki te tangata, ka pai koe ki te aro atu ki tētahi whanaungatanga, ā, ka mahi i tēnā me te kore e ahua uaua. Heoi, i te mea ka rerekē ngā wāhanga o tētahi whanaungatanga, ka piki haere ngā taumahatanga o ngā kawenga, ka ahua uaua haere te aro atu ki tētahi whanaungatanga.
He aha rā te mea ka tupu ina kore te hononga/te tīma e taurite? Ka huri te aroha ki tētahi hei mahi kino, ā, ka tīmata tētahi, e rua rānei ngā taha ki te kore aro ki tētahi hononga. Ko te tikanga o tēnā me whakatau noa koe i tētahi hononga kāore e tutuki? Kāore rawa. Mā te whakapau kaha ki te whakapau i te wā me te aro ki tētahi hononga, ka taea e koe te huri i ngā mea. Ka whakamārama atu mātou me pēhea.
He aha te hiranga o te aro ki te tangata i roto i te whanaungatanga?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Nā, he aha tātou i tino whakanui ai i te aro ki te tangata i roto i te whanaungatanga? He mea nui rawa atu rānei te aro ki ngā taipitopito i roto i te whanaungatanga? Ae, he pono, nā te mea ki te kore e nui te aro ki a ia i roto i te whanaungatanga, ka noho tō hoa ki te kore e arohaina, e tiakina rānei.
Ka haria tātou e tēnei ki tētahi atu pātai nui: me pēhea te aro nui ki tētahi whanaungatanga? Hei whakautu i tēnā, tuatahi, me whakamārama atu mātou i te whakamāramatanga o te aro ki tētahi whanaungatanga. Ko tōna tikanga he aro ki tō hoa rangatira, me te aro ki tōna oranga. He momo aro rerekē kei roto i tētahi whanaungatanga ka taea e koe te whakamahi hei whakarite kia kite tō hoa rangatira kei te aro nui koe ki tōna oranga, ā, kei te aro nui koe ki ngā mea e pā ana ki a ia.
Kei roto i ēnei ko te aro nui ki ngā kare ā-roto, arā, te aro nui ki ō rātou hiahia kare ā-roto, tae atu ki te aro nui whānui, arā, te kore e huna i tō kanohi ki roto i tō waea ina whakatata mai tō hoa ki te kōrero i tētahi mea nui ki a koe, me te aro nui ki a rātou, arā, te aroha me te manaaki.
I tēnei ao hou, nā te mea e whakawhirinaki ana tātou ki ngā taputapu hiko me te hiahia ki te mahi i ngā mahi maha, kāore e taea e tātou te aro nui ki ō tātou hoa mahi. Mena kua haere koe ki waho ki te tina, ko te mea pai ko te pupuri i tō waea pūkoro ki roto i tō pēke, i tō pōke rānei. Engari, i te wā whakamutunga, ka mea te rangatira he waea nui kei te haere mai, nō reira ka noho tonu koe ki te mahi, me te tumanako ka waea mai.
Tērā pea ka hoha tō hoa ki tēnei engari kāore e taea e rātou te kōrero i tetahi mea nā te mea he mahi tonu te mahi. Me te kore koe e mōhio, Ka taea e te hangarau te whakangaro i tō whanaungatanga... Mā tēnei, ka pāngia te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i roto i te whanaungatanga e ā tātou whanonga. I te nuinga o te wā kei reira tātou i te taha tinana me tō tātou hoa engari kei te mahi tātou i ngā mahi i roto i te hinengaro. Nō reira, kāore e taea e tātou te aro nui ki a ia i roto i te whanaungatanga.
Me pēhea te aro atu ki tētahi i roto i te whanaungatanga
I te mutunga iho, ko te tikanga katoa o te noho hei tokorua ka whai hua anake ina rongo kōrua i te aroha tetahi ki tetahi. Ka taea tēnei mā te aro atu ki tētahi e arohaina ana e kōrua. Ki te ngaro tēnā, ka korekore ngā tikanga e whai tikanga ana hei whakatata atu i a kōrua, hei whakapakari hoki i tō kōrua hononga, ā, ka kore te ka tīmata te mate o te whanaungatangaI ētahi wā ko te tīmatanga o te mutunga, ā, i ētahi wā ko te whakatūpato e whakaora ake ai te whanaungatanga ina whakarongohia.
Nā te mea, ka aroha tātou tetahi ki tetahi, ka herea tātou ki roto i ngā momo kirimana pāpori, ehara i te mea hei whānau tamariki anake engari hei hoa hoki, me ētahi atu mea maha atu anō hoki. Ā, he aha te pai o tēnei hoa mena kāore koe e aro nui ana ki tētahi whanaungatanga? E hiahia ana tātou ki ngā kaiwhakaatu mō ō tātou oranga, ā, e hiahia ana kia kitea, kia rangona hoki tātou, ā, e pena ana ngā hoa mahi tetahi ki tetahi.
E piriona tātau, ā, tera pea ka ngaro ō tātou oranga i roto i taua pōrearea, engari mā te mea ka kite tō tātou hoa i ō tātou oranga, ka tuhi i aua mea, ka noho tahi tātou, ka whai hua te katoa. Mā tēnei hoki ka mau tonu te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i roto i te whanaungatanga. Nō reira, ki te mea kei waenganui i ēnei mea katoa e whakaaro ana koe kāore koe e whiwhi ana i te aro nui mai i te hoa tāne/wahine, he aha te take? Nō reira, ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe kāore e taea e koe te aro nui ki tō hoa, ko ia te mea me mahi e koe.
1. Kia mārama ki te aro ki te kupu taurangi ngaro
He aha te mea ka tupu ina tangohia e ō tātou hoa taua whakaaturanga? Koinā te wā ka tīmata te pakaru o te whanaungatanga ā, ka tahuri ke te titiro a ngā hoa rangatira tetahi i tetahi. Ka huri tō aro ki ngā mea rerekē ina rongo koe i te kore aro i roto i te whanaungatanga. Koinā te wā ka mutu tō hononga ki te whenua wiri. Ka kite koe, ko te kore e whiwhi aro nui i roto i te whanaungatanga ka pā he pānga nui ki tō kōrua heke mai hei tokorua.
Ehara tēnei i te tukanga mohio i ngā wā katoa, engari ahakoa te tahuritanga kore mohio ka tino mamae i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ko te aro nui tetahi ki tetahi ko te oati huna a ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ina huihui rāua. Kāore tetahi e aroha nā te mea he hoha te tangata ki a rāua.
Mā te aroha ka kitea e te tangata he mea whakamere ā rātou hoa, ahakoa e whakaaro ana ētahi he hoha rātou. Kāore au e kī ana ko ō tātou hoa te puna whakangahau mā tātou, engari he mea whakamere rātou mēnā ka noho tahi tātou me rātou i ō tātou oranga katoa.
2. Ka hōhonu ake te tapahi i tā tātou e kite nei
Koinei tonu te take a hoa e kore e aro ki a koe Ka tino mamae, tae noa ki te taumata ka pouri te tangata, ka whakaaro pea ki te whakamutu i ō rātou oranga. Ehara i te mea nā te mea kua mutu te aro o ā rātou hoa aroha ki a rātou, engari nā te mea ka memeha haere te tikanga o ō rātou oranga nā te kore aro.
Ina mutu te kite a te tangata e tino arohaina ana e koe, arā, ko ia tō rā me tō whetu, he mea whakamere ki a koe, ka pātai pea koe mō tō oranga. Koia te take e harikoa ai koe i te hoa aro nui, ā, e pouri ai koe i te hoa kore aro. Ko te kore e whiwhi wā me te aro mai i tō hoa i roto i te whanaungatanga ka waiho hei wheako mokemoke.
Titiro mai, ko ētahi tāngata e aroha ana me ō rātou ngākau me ō rātou wairua, kāore e huna i tetahi mea, ā, ka waiho katoa ā rātou kāri ki runga i te tēpu. Ki a rātou, he pai te utu mō tēnei petipeti. Mā ngā mutunga ka whakamanahia ngā tikanga. Kāore rātou e huna, nā te mea ki a rātou he āhua hē te aroha ki tētahi pērā.
Ahakoa e aroha ana koe ki tēnei ara, kāore rānei, ina te tangata kē ka tangohia atu tō rātou aroha I muri i te tukunga atu mō tētahi wā, ka puta he āputa. Ka mamae pea tēnei āputa, ā, ehara i te mea ngāwari te whawhai ki tēnei āputa, ā, ka taea hoki e rātou te pāngia e te pouri nui i roto i tēnei āhuatanga. Nō reira, ko te aro nui ki ngā taipitopito i roto i ngā whanaungatanga ka nui ake te hiranga. Ka pai ake te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i roto i te whanaungatanga.
3. Ka kino ake te āhua o te āhua nā te whakamā o te hapori
Ka nui ake te raruraru o tēnei ina whakaarohia e tātou te whakakino a tō tātou hapori i te mate hinengaro, ā, e kiia ana he mahi koretake te kōrero mō ō tātou kare ā-roto. Mō te hapori e matakitaki ana i ngā whakaari aroha-kōmeke, he tino puku tātou, ā, he whakahē i ō tātou ake kare ā-roto.
He maha ngā wā ka haere te tangata ki ngā tākuta hinengaro ki te kōrero mō te āhua o te kāore ō rātou hoa e aro atu ki a rātou engari kāore e taea e rātou te kī atu ki ō rātou hoa rangatira kei te warewarehia rātou. Nō reira, ki te mea he kino rawa te kore e whiwhi i te aro nui mai i te hoa tāne, i te hoa rangatira rānei, ā, he nui te hiranga o te aro i roto i te whanaungatanga, he mea nui kia mau tonu te whakapau kaha o ngā hoa rangatira ki te whakaaro nui ki a rātou anō, ehara i te wā o te marena hōu anake engari i ia rā, i ia rā.
Te pānui e pā ana: 8 ngā mea hei mahi mēnā kāore tō hoa wahine e aro ki a koe
4. Ngaro te tirohanga ki te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero
I roto i ngā whanaungatanga roa, ka tino pukumahi te tangata ki ngā mahi o te whare, ki ngā tamariki me te utu i ngā pire, ā, ka ngaro te tirohanga ki te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero. Tērā pea kei te mātaki tahi rātou i tētahi kiriata i runga i te tūru o te rūma noho, engari ko te pōporo anake tā rātou e aro atu ana. Kāore he whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga.
Mā te whakamōhio tetahi ki tetahi ki ngā āhuatanga o te ao o tetahi, o tetahi, he huarahi tēnei ki te aro atu ki te hoa. Me kōrero kōrua mō tō rā, mō ā kōrua tamariki, me whakarite mahere hararei, tae atu ki te tunu kai tahi. Mā te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ka honoa te tangata, ā, kāore koe e whakaaro kua warewarehia mēnā kei te pai tō kōrua whakawhitiwhiti kōrero. Mēnā he hapa kei roto i tō kōrua whanaungatanga, ka taea e koe te whakamātau i ēnei. ngā mahi whakawhitiwhiti kōrero.
He aha te tikanga o te aro nui i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga?
Nō reira, kua kitea e mātou ko te kore e whiwhi i te aro nui i roto i te whanaungatanga ka pā kino ki tō hononga. He mea nui ake kia mārama me pēhea te aro nui i roto i te whanaungatanga, me te tikanga o te aro nui i roto i te whanaungatanga. He aha tāu e taea ai kia nui ake te aro nui i roto i te whanaungatanga?
He mea motuhake te aro ki te whanaungatanga i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ki ētahi tāne me te wahine, ko te aro ki te kare ā-roto o tō hoa, ki ētahi atu, ko te whakarite kai tino pai mā rātou hei whakaatu i tō rātou aroha.
Ko te whakaaro kia mārama ki ngā hiahia takitahi o tō hoa, kaua hoki e tukua kia ngoikore tō kōrua hononga hei tokorua. Ko te aro nui te huarahi noa iho hei whakaatu i tō mātou aroha ki ō mātou hoa, ā, kia pai ai tō rātou noho tahi. te whakaaro he mea nui, he mea motuhake hokiHe wāhi motuhake tō rātou i roto i ō tātou ao, ā, mā te aro nui ki a rātou e whakaatu tēnā ki a rātou.
Nō reira, ko te kore aro ki tētahi whanaungatanga ka rerekē te tikanga mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine rerekē. Ko te kore mōhio me te kore aro ki ngā taipitopito o ngā whanaungatanga ka puta i ngā huarahi rerekē i roto i te whanaungatanga.
Mō tētahi tokorua, ko te kore e kī 'Aroha ana ahau ki a kōrua' i te ata ka rite te taumaha ki te kore e aro ki te hoa rangatira. Nā, me pēhea te aro nui atu? Me aha koe kia aro nui atu ai ki tāu wahine, tāne, hoa rangatira rānei? Kia mārama tātou.
Te pānui e pā ana: I te wā i tū ai taku tāne aroha i tōku taha i roto i te hōhipera paru
Me pēhea taku aro nui atu ki taku hoa?
Ahakoa he rerekē ia whanaungatanga, ka taea tonu e koe te rongo kei te whakaaro tō hoa wahine/hoa rangatira kāore koe e aro nui ana ki tētahi whanaungatanga. Mēnā ka tupu tēnā, anei ētahi mea ka taea e koe te mahi hei whakatika i te āhuatanga mā te aro atu ki tētahi e arohaina ana e koe:
- whakarongo: He mea nui te whakarongo i roto i ngā whanaungatanga katoa. He maha ngā wā ka rongo tātou i tā tātou hoa engari kāore e tino whakarongo ki a rātou, ā, ka whakaaro pea rātou kāore rātou e arohia ana i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga.
- Whakaritea ngā mahere tahi me te tahi: He maha ngā wā, ko te mahi uaua tonu o tētahi mahinga ka meinga kia rite ki te kore e mau tonu ngā mea katoa o tō ao, tae atu ki tō whanaungatanga. Ka taea e koe te whakaaro kāore koe e whiwhi ana i te aro katoa mai i tō hoa. Hei wawahi i te hoha, ka taea e kōrua te whakarite mahere tetahi ki tetahi, he mea ngāwari noa iho pēnei i te tina i tunua ki te kāinga, te kiriata rānei.
- Kaua e wareware ki ā rātou amuamu: Tērā pea ka rongo koe kei te amuamu tonu tō hoa mō ngā take ōrite, engari kaua e warewarehia ō rātou amuamu. Ki te pēnei koe, tera pea ka kite rātou kāore koe e aro atu ana ki a rātou.
- Me mea kia motuhake rātou: Kia mahara ki ngā rā i whakaaro koe he mea nui kua kitea tō hoa wairuaĀe, koia anō te tangata, ā, e tika ana kia noho motuhake rātou. Whakamaherehia he pō whakaipoipo aroha, hangaia rānei he rā tawhito i mua i a kōrua. He tino rongoā tēnei i te pouri o tō hoa mō te kore aro mai.
- Whakamaherehia he haerenga: Kāore he mea pai atu mō te whakaora i te whanaungatanga mō te wā roa atu i te hararei mō te tokorua, e hoatu ana ki a kōrua te whai wāhi ki te whakangā, ki te whakangāwari me te hanga hononga piripono.
- Kōrero ki a rātou: Ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero te huarahi matua ki te whakaora i te nuinga o ngā whanaungatanga. Ka āwhina i te whakakore i ngā feaa, te whakamarie me te whakakaha i te aroha o tetahi ki tetahi. Nō reira, whakamahia ēnei tohutohu whakawhitiwhiti kōrero mō te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero whai hua ake.
Ko tā tātou e hiahia ana kia mōhio, he āhua mahue iho te tangata i te wā e kore ai e arohia ngā whanaungatanga. Me noho tonu te kōrero tuwhera, kore utu hoki hei mahi auau. He mea nui anō hoki kia ako tātou i a tātou anō mō te hauora hinengaro, kia kōrero anō hoki mō ngā momo āhua o te marena me ngā whanaungatanga aroha e whanake haere ana.
Ahakoa e whakaako ana tātou i ā tātou tamariki mō ngā awa o tō tātou whenua, ngā mahi tōrangapū o tō tātou iwi, ngā reo o ō tātou tūpuna, he maha ngā wā kāore tātou e āwhina i a rātou ki te whakahaere i ngā take o te ngākau i te huarahi tika. Kāore tātou e whakaako i a rātou mō te whakaae, kāore tātou e kōrero mō te mahi a te aroha. Engari me tuku noa rātou kia rapu i te aroha mā rātou anō.
Ahakoa he ahurei, he takitahi hoki ngā wheako aroha katoa, he ture taketake anō kei reira hei whakawhitiwhiti kōrero mā tātou tetahi ki tetahi. Me whakaako tātou i te tangata ki te kōrero kia mau tonu ai te kite i a rātou anō. Mena ko te aroha te mea e huri ai te ao, ko te kōrero mārama te mea e mau tonu ai te aroha, ā, me nui ake tā tātou mahi pera. Ina koa i roto i ngā whanaungatanga e kitea ana te kore o te aro nui.
Mā ēnei ture e iwa mō te marena harikoa koe e mea, "Koia anake?"
5 ngā huarahi e pā ai te pouri, e whakangaro ai hoki i ngā whanaungatanga
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
Kua whakaahuahia e te kaituhi tētahi pānga o te kore aro ko te pouri, te āhua koretake, me ētahi atu. Engari ko tētahi atu raruraru nui ko te tinihanga nā te kore aro. Ka taea te whakaatu i te aroha mā te whakatutuki i ngā kawenga me te tiaki i te whānau, i ngā kōrero kore-waha rānei, i te aro arotahi rānei. Ināianei, ina noho ngā kaipahua whaiaro i roto i te marena (e mōhiotia ana he kaipahua kore whakama rātou ina pāngia e ngā āhuatanga whakamatautau, uaua rānei), ko te nuinga he rapu aro, ina kore e arohia, ka whakapae i te hoa rangatira, ka rapu i te tangata o waho o te marena ka arahi ki te tinihanga. He kaipahua whaiaro rātou, kāore rātou e kōrero mō tā rātou e hiahia ana, mō ngā mea rānei e ngaro ana i roto i te whanaungatanga, ā, kāore e whakatau i ngā take ahakoa he rite tonu tā rātou kawenga mō te whakapau kaha me te tapu o te marena. Ina wera ana tā rātou hoa mō te whānau, ka tohaina e ēnei tāngata ō rātou tinana (tāne, wahine rānei) ki te tangata tuatoru hei aro. Ko tā rātou e kore e mārama, ahakoa e mōhio ana rātou ki te pai ki te mea tapu, ko te wā kāore he kawenga me te kore here e herea ana, ka taea e ngā tāngata katoa e kore e whai tikanga, e kore e whakama (tāne, wahine rānei) i runga i te whenua te aro / te mea kia motuhake te kaipahua mō te pārekareka ki te piripono ki te kaipahua. Ahakoa he kaitiaki ātaahua o te whare noho, he tangata rānei i te tiriti, ka taea hoki te whakaputa i te mea e kiia nei ko "AU" i roto i te tangata, te kare ā-roto e hiahiatia ana, te kawe mai i ngā pūrerehua i roto i te puku, me ētahi atu. Ko te mea nui, ki te mea kei te whakaaro tetahi kua warewarehia, kāore rānei e hiahia kia arohia, me kōrero pono ki tōna hoa, kaua e tinihanga. Waihoki, ki te mea kei te uru atu koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga, he pai ake te karo i ngā tāngata e rapu nui ana i te aro, ā, ka tūpono pea ka tinihanga wawe, ka roa rānei. He pai ake te karo i a rātou, kaua e mau tonu, ka tahuna ō ringaringa mō te ora. Heoi anō, he kīwaha "E kore e taea e te Atua te hopu i a Ghar Ki Chor Ko".