15 Ngā Tohu Whakatūpato Kei te Ngaro te Hiahia o tō Hoa ki te Hononga

Kua kite koe i tētahi panonitanga o ngā whanonga a tō hoa i ēnei rā? He āhua tawhiti, he kore aro, he wehe rānei i te kare ā-roto? Ki te pērā, tera pea kei te kite koe i ngā tohu o te ngaro o te hiahia ki tētahi whanaungatanga. Ina tīmata te hoa ki te wehe atu, ka raru pea koe, ka whakaaro mēnā kei te memeha haere te hononga, mēnā rānei nāu noa iho te tirohanga.

Hei whakatau me pēhea te whakahaere i tēnei āhuatanga, me tino mōhio koe mēnā he tino pono tēnei kore aro, he mea rānei kua hangaia e koe i roto i tō hinengaro. Mā te mōhio ki te tautuhi i ngā tohu e ngaro ana te aro o tō hoa, ka taea e koe te mārama e hiahiatia ana e koe. Engari tuatahi, me aro tātou ki te pūtake o tēnei āhuatanga.

He aha ngā take e ngaro ai te hiahia ki tētahi whanaungatanga?

Kua kite koe kua ngaro te mura. Engari he aha? Tērā pea he te kore korero te huri rānei i ngā kaupapa matua. Ka ngaro hoki te hiahia o te tangata nā te rerekētanga o ngā uara, o ngā whāinga rānei, nō reira, te kore hototahi. Tirohia ngā take i raro nei kia kitea ai he aha te āhua nei kāore tō hoa e whakapau kaha ana ki te whanaungatanga:

1. Te pohehe i te aroha ki te ngākau nui

He aha te aroha nui? He tohunga hinengaro Nandita Rambhia e mea ana, "Ka puta te aroha nui ina rongo te tangata i te kukume nui, te whakamoemiti, te hiahia moepuku rānei ki tētahi atu. Ka kite koe i ngā tohu ā-tinana pērā i te pūrerehua i roto i tō puku, te werawera, me te pikinga o te tere o tō ngakau i a rātou e noho ana. Ka tukuna e ō tātou roro he ranunga katoa o ngā matū me ngā homoni e puta ai ēnei kare ā-roto katoa e pā ana ki te aroha nui. Ka waiho hoki e ia kia kore e taea e tātou te whakaaro mārama."

Ko tētahi atu āhuatanga o te aroha nui ko te mea he wā poto noa iho. Nō reira, ki te aroha noa tetahi ki a koe, kāore i te aroha, ka ngaro pea tōna hiahia i muri i te pahemotanga o tēnei hiahia tuatahi. I te mōhio kāore ia i te aroha, ka hiahia ia ki te oma me te kimi i tētahi atu. He maha ngā wā, ka neke tonu ēnei tāngata mai i tētahi whanaungatanga aroha nui ki tētahi atu, i ngā wā katoa. te ngaro o ngā kare ā-roto i roto i ngā whanaungatanga.

2. I kitea e rātou tētahi atu

E ai ki te ako, ko ngā mahi moepuku me te puremu te take o te 37% o ngā whakarere i te US. Nō reira, e kitea ana he maha ngā tāngata ka ngaro te hiahia nā te mea ka aro atu tētahi atu ki a rātou. Ko tētahi o ngā take e tinihanga ai rātou he mataku rawa rātou ki te wehe, nō reira ka mutu ka mahi rātou i ngā mea ka akiaki i tā rātou hoa ki te whakamutu.

3. Te wā hē

I ētahi wā, ko ngā take o te ngaronga o te hiahia ki ngā whanaungatanga he mea kāore i te mārama. Hei whakamārama ake, anei ētahi tauira matarohia o tangata tika wā hē :

• "Aroha ana ahau ki a koe, engari me aro tonu ahau ki aku whakamātautau i tēnei wā tonu"
• "Āe, me i noho tāua i te tāone kotahi. He uaua ki te whakahaere i tēnei"
• "He nui rawa tōku aroha ki a koe, engari kāore anō kia rite mō te whakapau kaha"
• "Kei te pēhia ahau e tōku whānau kia moe i tētahi atu"

Ko tētahi atu take mō te ngaro o te hiahia ko te haere o te wā me te huri haere o ngā kare ā-roto. He whakamataku engari ka tupu. Koia te mea nui kia mau tonu te atawhai i tō aroha me tō hononga. Nā, me rapu tātou: He aha ngā tohu e ngaro ana te hiahia o tō hoa ki te whanaungatanga?

15 Ngā Tohu Whakatūpato Kei te Ngaro te Hiahia o tō Hoa ki te Hononga

Kia kotahi te kua mutu te wā honi, kāore ngā whanaungatanga e rite ki te ekenga tere whakahihiri o mua. Ā, ki te mutu te whakapau kaha a ngā hoa, ka tīmata pea te memeha o te mura, ā, i mua i tō mōhio, kua puta ngā tohu o te ngaro o te hiahia ki te whanaungatanga i ngā wāhi katoa. Tērā pea ka meinga koe e tō hoa kia whakaaro kua mutu koe i roto i te whanaungatanga taha kotahi.

Ahakoa kāore e nui ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi ina mutu te whanaungatanga ā-hinengaro o tētahi, mā te mārama ki tēnei take ka āwhina koe ki te huri i tētahi rau hou ki tō ao. Nō reira, ki te kore e taea e koe te mutu te pātai ki a koe anō?, "Kei te nui rawa taku whakaaro, kei te ngaro rānei tōna hiahia ki ahau (ki a ia rānei)?", kia aro ki ēnei tohu 15 kua ngaro te hiahia o tō hoa.

1. Kāore e hiahia ki te whakarite mahere tahi me koe

Ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i roto i ngā whanaungatanga hauora Whakaritea ngā mahere kia noho tahi ai kōrua, kia whai wā kounga ai kōrua. Whai muri i ngā taumahatanga katoa o te mahi, kāore he mea e whakahauora ake ana i te pō whakatau tahi me tō hoa. Ko te whakapau wā ki a kōrua ko te mea hei whakamama i te ahotea mō kōrua. Kāore rānei tō hoa e pēnei ana i ēnei wā? Pātai atu ki a koe anō ēnei pātai:

• Ko tō hoa, i tino hiahia ki te kite i a koe i mua, te āhua nei kāore e hiahia ana ki tētahi mahere? 
• Kei te tū matara tonu rātou ahakoa kei te whakamahere koe i ngā pō whakatā?
• Ka whakakorehia e rātou tō tono i te meneti whakamutunga?

2. Kāore he whakautu tika ki ō tuhinga

I ngā wāhanga tuatahi o tō kōrua whanaungatanga, he maha ngā wā ka tukuna e kōrua he karere kuputuhi, ka waea atu hoki tetahi ki tetahi i te rā. He uaua ki te whakamutu i te waea, ā, te āhua nei kāore e pau ngā mea hei kōrero mā kōrua.

Engari ināianei ka karohia e rātou ō karere kuputuhi, ā, kāore e maha ana te waea mai. Me te mea kei te karohia koe e rātou, ā, kāore e taea e koe te tohu he aha. Te āhua nei kei te piki haere ngā raruraru whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, ā, kāore he ara e puta ai. I ētahi wā, ko tā rātou waea pūkoro te mea nui ake i a koe. (Koinei te ingoa te whakaipoipo i roto i te whanaungatanga(He pono anō tēnā ki a koe? Ko tētahi o ngā tohu e ngaro haere ana te hiahia o tō hoa tāne ko te wā e mutu ai tana whakapau kaha ki te kōrero, ā, e pērā anō hoki mō ngā wāhine.

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3. Te kore o te whanaungatanga ā-hinengaro 

I roto i te whanaungatanga, he rite te hiranga o te piripono ā-hinengaro ki te piripono ā-tinana nā te mea ka āwhina i a koe ki te hono atu ki tō hoa rangatira i te taumata hohonu ake. I tuhituhi tētahi kaipānui nō Kansas, "I kite ahau i te tawhiti o ngā kare ā-roto o taku tāne e tipu haere ana i ia rā, i ia rā. I whakaaro tonu ahau 'Kei te nui rawa taku whakaaro, kei te ngaro rānei tana hiahia ki ahau? Kāore au i te mōhio me aha ahau ... I tētahi rā ka kite ahau ahakoa i te wā e noho tahi ana ia me ahau i roto i te rūma, kua... i tirotirohia i roto i te hinengaro"... I reira ka mārama ahau he tohu ēnei kua ngaro tōna hiahia."

Kei te tīmata haere tō hoa ki te kōrero ki a koe? Kāore rātou e tīmata kōrero, ā, ko ō whakautu he kupu kotahi noa iho. He tohu mārama tēnei kei te hē tetahi mea; kua ngaro te whanaungatanga whai tikanga i waenganui i a kōrua. 

4. Kāore tō hoa e aro mai ana ina kōrero koe

Ehara i te mea ko te kore noa iho o rātou e tīmata kōrero (mā te karere kuputuhi, waea atu, kanohi ki te kanohi rānei), engari ahakoa e kōrero ana koe, te āhua nei kāore rātou e whakarongo mai ana. Ko tēnei kore aro tetahi o ngā tohu e ngaro ana te hiahia o tō hoa. Whakaarohia kei te ngana koe ki te kōrero ki a rātou, ko koe anake te tangata e kōrero ana:

• Ka pātai koe, ā, ka homai e rātou he whakautu koretake
• E whakaatu ana rātou i tō rātou kore hiahia ki te mahi tahi me koe
• He rite tonu ki te mea kei te kōrero koe ki te pakitara
• Kei te piri tonu rātou ki tā rātou waea pūkoro, kei te pukumahi ki te tuku karere kuputuhi, ki te tirotiro rānei i ā rātou pāpāho pāpori

Ko te whakarongo kaha me te mea kia whai mana tō hoa he āhuatanga nui mō te oranga pai, hononga hauoraKi te mea tonu tō hoa ka meinga koe kia kore e rangona, kia kaua e arohia, ka waiho koe me te mea kei te aro nui ia ki ētahi atu mea i a koe.

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5. Ka tere tonu te riri i a rātou ināianei

Ka riri wawe, ka pōuri hoki tō hoa? Ina pātai atu koe ki a rātou mō te take, kāore rātou e hoatu he whakautu tuturu ki a koe. Ko ngā kare kino me ngā tauhohenga anake ka riro mai i a koe. Ā, kāore e taea e koe, mōu ake, te tīmata ki te mārama ki te take o tēnei huringa ohorere o tōna āhua me tōna waiaro. Hei tauira, tera pea ka riri tō wahine i ngā mea iti rawa e mahia ana e koe. Kei te riri tonu ia, kei te kore rānei e manawanui. Kei te whakaaro koe he aha te hē, engari kāore koe i te mōhio he tohu ēnei kei te ngaro haere tōna hiahia.

Te whakahaere i te riri i roto i ngā whanaungatanga kua tauhou ki a rātou. Ko te pono kino, ko tēnei whanonga he whakaaturanga pea nō te pouri o tō hoa ki te āhua o ngā mea. Ko tō rātou pukuriri ki ngā mea iti he putanga noa iho tēnei mō tēnei pouri. Mena kua waiho tēnei hei tauira, kei te titiro matatau koe ki tētahi o ngā tohu o te ngaro o te hiahia ki tētahi whanaungatanga.

6. Kāore e taea e koe te whakawhirinaki ki a rātou ināianei

Me pēhea te mōhio kei te ngaro te hiahia o tō hoa, e pātai ana koe? I te nuinga o te wā, ina pā mai he raruraru ki a koe, ka waea atu koe ki tō hoa mō te āwhina. Ka tahuri koe ki a rātou mō te tautoko i ngā wā uaua. Engari i ēnei rā, koinei te mea ka puta ina tono āwhina koe ki a rātou:

• Kei te ngana tō hoa ki te karo i a koe
• Ko te tangata i whakaaro koe ka taea e koe te whakawhirinaki atu kua ngaro i a koe i ō wā uaua
• Ka tuku noa iho rātou i a koe kia pōuri, ka meinga koe kia whakaaro ko koe anake te tangata e whakapau kaha ana kia angitu tēnei whanaungatanga.

Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu tino mārama o te ngaro o te hiahia ki tētahi whanaungatanga. Ko te tikanga kua whakatau kē tō hoa kua mutu te whanaungatanga. Kei te tatari rātou mō te wā tika hei whakapuaki i tēnei rongo ki a koe. Kei te hiahia tonu koe ki te noho i roto i tēnei whanaungatanga taha kotahi? Koinei rānei he whanaungatanga e tika ana kia tiakina?

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7. Kei te huri haere ngā kaupapa matua o tō hoa

Ahakoa tō pukumahi, me whakatapua e koe tētahi wāhanga o tō rā ki tō hoa. Ko te whakapau i te wā kounga tētahi o ngā poraka hanga o tētahi whanaungatanga e āwhina ana ki te pupuri i te aroha, te whanaungatanga piripono, me te hononga whai tikanga i waenga i ngā hoa. Ina ngaro tō wā tahi i roto i tā rāua rārangi matua, ka taea e koe te whakaaro koinei tētahi mea nui. haki whero whanaungatanga.

I tana kōrero mō ngā tohu o te ngaronga o te hiahia o te wahine ki te tāne, i whakaae tētahi kaiwhakamahi Instagram, "I mutu taku mahi i te mutunga o taku marena. I ngana taku tāne ki te pupuri i a ia kia kaha rawa atu. Kāore au i te rite ki te whakapau i te wā ki tētahi marena i mōhio ahau e kore e roa. Ka tino kino te ahua o taku whanonga ina titiro whakamuri ahau. Engari he take āku i taua wā. I ētahi wā, kāore e taea te āwhina ina ngaro ō kare ā-roto ki tētahi."

8. E manaaki ana rātou i a koe me te mea he manene koe

Ki te mea kua tīmata ohorere koe ki te whakaaro he tauhou koe i roto i te ao o tō hoa, whakaarohia koinei tētahi o ngā tohu mārama o te ngaro o te hiahia ki tētahi whanaungatanga. Hei tauira, kei te pāngia rātou e ētahi raruraru i te mahi, ā, hei utu mō te whakapuaki i ō rātou whakaaro ki a koe, ka tahuri rātou ki tētahi hoa mō te tohutohu. Ina rongo koe mō ō rātou raruraru, ka ārai rātou i a koe mā te kī kāore he āwangawanga mōu.

Hei tauira, whakaarohia tēnei: ​​Ka hoki mai tō hoa tāne ki te kāinga, ā, ka kite koe he roa rawa tōna rā. Ka ngana koe ki te pātai he aha te mea i tupu i tētahi ara, i tētahi ara rānei. Mō te wā roa, kāore he whakautu tika, ā, i te mutunga, ka mea ia kua ngenge ia, ā, kei te haere ki te moenga. Ko tēnei āhua tonu ki te ārai i a koe tētahi o ngā tohu e ngaro ana tōna hiahia ki te whanaungatanga.

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Whakaarohia rānei tēnei: ​​Ko tō hoa wahine, nāna i kōrero ki a koe ngā kōrero katoa, kua tīmata ki te whakautu kupu kotahi. Kāore ia e whakapuaki ana i ngā kōrero pai, i ngā kōrero rānei te whakaputa i ngā kare ā-roto ki a koe ina pōuri koe. Kāore koe i te tangata hei āwhina i a ia ki te whakahaere i ngā kare ā-roto.

Ko te mea nui, e rite ana tō hoa ki te tangata kua mōhio kē koe, ā, kāore koe e whakaaro kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga. Tērā pea ētahi atu take whaitake mō te huna i ngā mea, te pupuri rānei i te muna, engari ka taea hoki tēnei te whakapuaki atu ki a koe. Kōrero atu ki tō hoa i ngā kōrero a Jim Rohn, "Ko ngā taiepa e hangaia ana e tātou hei ārai i te pouri ki waho, ka ārai hoki i te hari."

9. He mea nui ake mō te taatai

Me pēhea koe e mōhio ai kua ngaro te hiahia o tō hoa ki te aroha?

• Mena kua kore ā kōrua kōrero urunga, kōrero piripono rānei pērā i mua
• I ēnei rā, ko te taatai ​​anake te kaupapa o tō kōrua whanaungatanga (kaua ko te aroha tinana e whakamahana ana i te ngākau)
• Kua riro koe hei tangata e hiahia ana ki te whai i tētahi mea, ā, ko te wā anake e aro atu ai tō hoa ki a koe ko te wā e rapu ana rātou i tētahi mahi.
• Kua kite koe i a rātou e whakakakahu ana i muri i te hararei, kātahi ka wehe atu i runga i tētahi take?
• Kāore rānei te whanaungatanga ā-tinana i waenganui i a kōrua e rite ana ki te mahi aroha, engari he huarahi hei whakatutuki i ngā hiahia o te tinana? Ka āta mōhio koe ki tēnā kua moe tāne tō hoa i a koe, engari kāore e aroha ana ki a koe i ēnei rā

Tērā pea kei roto tonu tō hoa i te whanaungatanga nā te hiahia moepuku anake, kāore he mea kē atu. Ko te huarahi pakihi i roto i te moenga tētahi o ngā tohu o te ngaronga o te hiahia o te wahine ki te tāne, o te rerekē rānei. Ki te kore he aroha tinana i tua atu i te moepuku, tera pea tētahi o ngā tohu o te ngaronga o te hiahia. 

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10. He nui ngā mahi a tō hoa

Ko tētahi atu tohu e whakaatu ana kei te puta mai he raruraru i roto i tō pararaiha aroha, ko te nui o ngā mahi a tō hoa. Mai i te maha o ngā pō roa i te mahi ki ngā hoa e matea ana, me ngā hoa mahi e pāngia ana e te mate ohorere, ka puta tonu mai he take kāore e taea e rātou te noho tahi me koe.

I te nuinga o te wā, he haurua noa iho ēnei whakamārama, ā, kāore i te tino whakaponohia. Ā, nō hea te wā i kore ai te teka e tohu i te aituā? Ko te hiahia ki te huna i ngā mea ko te tikanga kei reira ngā mea take whakawhirinaki kei roto i te pikitia. Ina hoki, koinei tētahi o ngā tohu nui kua tata ngaro te hiahia o tō tāne, kua kore rānei te aroha o tō wahine ki a koe.

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11. Kua mutu tā rātou pātai

Koinei tonu te whakautu ki te mōhio me pēhea te mōhio kua ngaro te hiahia o tō hoa. Whakaarohia te wā i nui ai te hiahia o tō hoa ki a koe. Ka pātai atu rātou ki a koe mō tō rā, tō tamarikitanga, ō whanaungatanga o mua, ō hoa, ō rā kura, tō whānau, me ngā mea katoa i waenganui. Ae, i a kōrua e mōhio pai ake ana tetahi ki tetahi, ka iti haere te whānuitanga o aua kōrero. 

Koia te take he mea nui te hiahia ki te mōhio me te hiahia ki te tūhura i ngā taha hou o tētahi ki tētahi, hei oranga mō te whanaungatanga hauora. Me pātai tonu ngā tāne me ngā wāhine tetahi ki tetahi. ngā pātai mō te oranga aroha pai ake me te hononga hohonu ake. Nā, me pēhea e mōhio ai koe kua ngaro te hiahia o tō hoa? Ki te kore koe e mahara ki te wā whakamutunga i pātai atu ai tō hoa ki a koe mō tō rā, i rapu whakahōutanga rānei mō āu mahi i te mahi, nā te mea kāore pea rātou e aro ki ēnei mea i ēnei rā.

12. Kāore tō hoa e aro nui ana ki a koe i ēnei rā

I te tīmatanga o tō whanaungatanga, ka mihi tonu tō hoa ki a koe mō ō āhua, ā, ka kī atu anō hoki ko tēhea te tae, te kākahu rānei e pai ana ki a koe. Inaianei, me wero ngutu, me tae rānei ō makawe ki te whero, ā, e kore rawa rātou e kite. Ki te kore tō hoa e titiro moemoeā mai ki a koe, tera pea kua kore rāua e aroha.

He tohu ēnei kua ngaro te hiahia o tō hoa rangatira? Āe, me titiro tātou ki āna whanonga:

• Kāore koe e kitea e rātou, ā, he tino whaimana, he whai hua rānei ā rātou kōrero ki a koe.
• Tērā pea ko te tikanga tēnei kei te te tango noa i a koe nā te mea kua taunga rātou ki tō aroaro
• Tērā pea he tohu kua mutu tā rāua hononga

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13. Kei te warewarehia koe

I roa rawa te noho a taku hoa, a Serena, i roto i tētahi hononga, ahakoa i kite ia i ngā tohu whakatūpato kāore tana hoa e aro ana. He maha ngā wā ka oati a Tress, tana hoa, engari kāore i tutuki. Ka kī ia i ngā mea pēnei i te, "Kāore au i te hiahia ki te whakakore engari he nui ngā mea kei mua i ahau. Ka utua e au ki a koe." Ā, ka pena ia mā te whakamahi i ngā rautaki aroha. Kātahi ka whakakore i te mahere e whai ake nei. He huringa noa iho.

Nā, he aha ngā tohu e whakaatu ana kei te tawhiti haere tō hoa? Ko tēnei momo kore aro me te kore aro ki tētahi whanaungatanga tino uru atu ki te wāhanga. Kāore koe e whai wāhi ana ki tā rātou kaupapa mahi ā-wiki (kāore koe i te mea hei hoa pai mō rātou i tētahi pāti). Nō reira, ka kīia e rātou ēnei mea:

• "Āe, i whakatau māua ki te mātaki tahi i tēnei raupapa, engari i haere mai taku hoa, ā, i mātaki tahi māua i tētahi wā"
• "I tino hiahia ahau ki te kawe i a koe ki tētahi hui whānau, engari ki taku whakaaro me haere ko au anake i tēnei wā"
• "I mahara ahau kāore koe e hiahia ki te haere tahi mai me ahau ki tēnei hokohoko nui, nō reira i haria e ahau tōku tuakana"

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Haepapa i roto i ngā Hononga - Te Tikanga, te Hiranga, me ngā Huarahi hei Whakaatu 

14. Kua mutu te kōrero mō ngā mahere ā meake nei

Tērā pea i whakaaro kōrua ki te neke tahi ki te kāinga. Mēnā rānei i te mutunga ka hoko mai i tētahi kurī. Mēnā rānei ka moe tāne, ka moe tāne rānei i te wā roa. Engari, ki te mea kua mutu te kōrero a tō hoa mō ēnei mahere, tera pea kua ngaro te mura o te aroha. He pai te noho i tēnei wā, engari he mea nui anō hoki te whakaatu i te whakapau kaha. Tērā pea kua mahi rāua. take herenga.

Tumuaki Hinengaro Kranti Momin e mea ana, "Kāore te mataku ki te whakapau kaha e tuku i te tangata ki te haumi ki te heke mai. Kāore rātou e whakarite mahere, e mahi whakatau rānei me tā rātou hoa. Ka arotahi rātou ki te wā o nāianei. Ko ngā pātai pēnei i te "kei hea tēnei e anga atu ana" me te "me pēhea tō tirohanga ki te heke mai" ka karohia i ngā utu katoa."

15. Kāore rātou e hiahia ki te noho tahi me ō whanaunga

Ki te mea kua wehe kē tō hoa i ō hoa/whānau, he tohu mārama tēnei kua ngaro tōna hiahia. Waihoki, ki te whakaroa rātou ki te whakaatu i a koe ki ō rātou whanaunga, ā, ki te karo hoki i te tuku i ō whakaahua ki ngā pāpāho pāpori ahakoa kua roa kōrua e piripono ana (me te tuku whakaahua hoki me ētahi atu), he tino hē tetahi mea.

Ki te taea e koe te hono atu ki te nuinga o ēnei tohu e ngaro ana te hiahia o tō hoa tāne (tō hoa wahine rānei), me kōrero pono koe ki tō hoa. Mea atu ki a rātou, "Kei te kite ahau i ngā tohu kua hoha koe ki tō whanaungatanga ki ahau" ā, kia rite ki te whakatau uaua ki te tuku i a rātou.

Me aha koe ina ngaro te hiahia o tō hoa ki tētahi whanaungatanga?

Ki te mea kei te pātai koe, "Ka taea e koe te ngaro i te aroha ki tētahi e arohaina ana e koe?", ko te whakautu he āe. Inaa, he mea noa tēnei. Ahakoa he kore tika ki te hoa e aroha tonu ana. He rerekē te tipu me te whanaketanga o te tangata, nō reira, kāore te tangata i arohaina e koe i rite tonu i ngā tau e rua, e rima rānei i muri mai. Nō reira, ka wehe ngā hoa i te wā. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ka taea e koe te whakamahi i ēnei tikanga:

1. Tirohia anō ngā mahi i pai ai kōrua ki mua

Ina ngaro te mura o ngā whanaungatanga, he pai te whakaora anō i te hononga mā te tirotiro anō i ngā mea kua pahure. ngā mahi a te tokorua i pai ai kōrua i te tīmatanga o te whakaipoipo. Tērā pea he mahi hei whakatata i a kōrua, pērā i:

• Nga po kiriata
• Nga haerenga o te wiki
• Ngā haerenga ohorere rānei

Mā te whai wāhi atu ki ngā wheako kua mōhiotia, kua tohaina, ka taea e ngā hoa tokorua te whakamahara i te hononga i waenganui i a kōrua i mua, ā, ka āwhina anō hoki ki te hanga anō i te whanaungatanga kare ā-roto kua memeha haere pea. Hei tauira, mēnā i mua he hononga nui tō kōrua nā te tunu kai tahi, whakaritea he ahiahi ngahau hei whakamātau i tētahi tunu kai hou. 

2. Kia mārama he aha te momotu o te hononga

Ko te ngaronga o te hiahia ki tētahi whanaungatanga ka puta pinepine mai i te korenga o te tutuki hiahia aronganui ngā take kāore anō kia whakatauhia. Hei whakatika i tēnei, arotahi ki te tautuhi i ngā take motuhake kei muri i te tawhiti o ngā kare ā-roto. 

• Pātai atu ki a koe anō me tō hoa: He panoni kei roto i ngā kaupapa matua, ngā ahotea, ngā āhuatanga o waho rānei e pā ana ki te whanaungatanga? 
• Hei tauira, ko ngā pēhanga mahi, ko ngā raruraru whānau rānei, tērā pea ka pā kino ki a koe. 

Me aro atu ki te āhuatanga me te aroha me te hiahia nui, kaua e whakapae. Kōrero mārire kia mārama ai koe ki ō rātou kare ā-roto me ō rātou hiahia, kia mōhio ai koe kei te rangona ō rātou kare ā-roto, me te kore e whakahē. Mā tēnei māramatanga tahi ka āwhina i te tautuhi i ngā wāhi tika e tika ana kia arohia, kia māmā ake ai te aro atu ki te pūtake o te momotu.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te tīmata i te whakaipoipo: Ngā tohutohu mō te hunga tīmata me te hunga e tīmata anō ana

3. Kōrerohia ō kare ā-roto me te aroha

He mea nui te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero whai hua ki te hanga anō i tētahi whanaungatanga ina ngaro te hiahia o tētahi hoa. Engari i te whakapuaki i te riri, i te whakapae rānei, me whakatata atu ki te kaupapa me te aroha me te ngoikore. 

• Tuhia ō kare ā-roto mā te whakamahi i ngā kupu "ahau", pērā i te, "Kei te noho motuhake ahau, ā, e hiahia ana ahau kia nui ake te wā kounga e noho tahi ai tāua." 

Mā tēnei ka ārai i tō hoa rangatira kei noho hei tangata tiaki, ā, ka whakatenatena i tētahi kōrero tuwhera. Kia tino whakarongo mai, kia whakamana hoki i ō rātou tirohanga. Mā te kōrero e ahu mai ana i te māramatanga ka taea te whakakī i ngā āputa kare ā-roto, kia mārama ai kei te whakanui kōrua i te whanaungatanga, ā, kei te whakapau kaha kōrua ki te kimi i tētahi whakataunga ngātahi.

4. Tāutuhia, ā, whakatikahia ngā raruraru e pā ana ki tō hoa

I ētahi wā, ko te kore aro o te hoa ki te whanaungatanga kāore i te tino pā ki a koe, engari he nui ake te pānga ki ngā wero whaiaro e pā ana ki a rātou. Tērā pea ko ēnei:

• Te ahotea o te mahi
• Nga take hauora hinengaro
• Ngā raruraru whānau rānei

Waihangahia he wāhi haumaru mō rātou kia tuwhera ai ō rātou whakaaro mā te manawanui me te tautoko. Me mōhio rātou kei reira koe hei āwhina, me te whakatenatena i a rātou kia rapu awhina ngaio mēnā e tika ana. Hei tauira, mēnā kei te pāngia tō hoa e te manukanuka, me whakaaro koe kia haere tahi ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro, ki tētahi kaiārahi rānei. Mā te āwhina i a rātou ki te wikitoria i ō rātou raruraru ka whakaatu i te manaaki me te māramatanga, ka taea ai whakapakari i tō hononga ā, whakakitea mai kei roto kōrua i tēnei mahi tahi.

Te pānui e pā ana: He aha te aroha i roto i te whanaungatanga, me pēhea te whakaatu

5. Whakaratohia he wāhi haumaru mō te ngoikore

Ka puāwai ngā whanaungatanga ina noho haumaru ngā hoa e rua whakapuaki i ō rātou kare ā-roto me te kore wehi kei whakahengia, kei whakakahoretia rānei. Mena kei tawhiti tō hoa, tera pea kei te whakaroa rātou ki te whakapuaki i ō rātou kare ā-roto nā te kore whakamarie, te wehi rānei kei taupatupatu. Whakamanahia rātou kei te pai koe ki te whakarongo me te tautoko me te kore whakahe. Hei tauira, me kī atu ki a rātou, "Ka taea e koe te kōrero mai ki ahau mō ngā mea katoa, ā, ka whakapau kaha ahau ki te mārama." Ko te waihanga i tēnei taiao whakawhirinaki me te tuwhera ka taea te whakatenatena i tō hoa kia kaha ake te whakaraerae me te hono anō i ngā kare ā-roto.

6. Ki te kore tetahi mea e mahi, whakaarohia te wehe

Ki te kore tetahi o ngā tohutohu o runga ake nei e whai hua, ā, i te wā roa, he pai ake kia puta wawe atu ngā hoa e rua i tēnei whanaungatanga. Ko te ngaronga o ngā kare ā-roto ki tētahi ka puta ake i ngā āhuatanga pēnei i te kore hototahi, te kore hononga rānei. Ki te kore ēnei take e arohia, e tautuhia hoki i ngā wāhanga tuatahi o te whanaungatanga, tata tonu ka huri hei mea nui ake.

Ko te ngaronga o ngā kare ā-roto he tukanga whakakorenga pea a te roro, ā, ehara i te mea kino. Tirohia tēnei hei taahiraa i roto i te tukanga kimi i tētahi e pai ake ana mō ō hiahia. Mā te whakarērea i a rātou ka āwhina i a koe kia rongo i te... te hihiri mō te kimi i te aroha i roto i to ora.

Thoughts Final

Ki te kite koe i ngā tohu e ngaro ana te hiahia o tō hoa wahine (tō hoa tāne rānei), he mea nui kia aro atu koe ki te āhuatanga me te aroha me te mārama, kaua e peke ki ngā whakatau. Mā te tirotiro anō i ngā mahi tahi, te mārama ki te pūtake o te momotu, me te whakatairanga i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pono, ka taea e koe te mahi ki te hanga anō i te hononga kare ā-roto. Heoi, ki te mau tonu ngā tohu ahakoa ō mahi tino pai, kua tae pea te wā ki te whakaaroaro mēnā he tino whai hua te whanaungatanga mō ngā hoa e rua. 

20 Ngā Tohu Kāore Ia e Aroha Ana ki a Koe

11 Ngā Mea Ka Taea e Koe te Mahi Mena Kāore Koe i te Harikoa i roto i te Marenatanga

Me pēhea te whakatau i te kore aro o tētahi e arohaina ana e koe?

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.