5 Ngā Tohu e Whakahē Ana Ia I A Koe Mō Tētahi Atu

He uaua te whakaipoipo i te hunga o te rautau mano tau. I tētahi rā ka kī atu ia ki a koe, 'ko koe taku hoa aroha', ā, i te rā i muri mai ka tino ngaro tōna āhua, ā, ka kī tonu koe ki a koe anō, "Kei te aro mai ia ki ahau."

Ki te rite koe ki ahau, tera pea ka kitea e koe he tino hoha rawa tēnei kēmu 'e aroha ana ia ki ahau, engari kāore ia e aroha ki ahau' ki te whakarērea te ao whakaipoipo, ka neke atu ki te noho tahi me te roopu ngeru. Ina kore tetahi e aro ki a koe, kāore he take, kāore he mea e tino hoha ake ana.

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Engari, ki te mea kei te tino hiahia koe ki te whai hononga nui, me tirotiro koe i ngā tohu tino tika kia mōhio ai koe mēnā kei te wareware ia ki a koe mō tētahi atu i mua i tō haerenga katoa ki a ia. Ki te mea ka wareware tetahi ki a koe, me rapu e koe te take o taua hononga i mua i tō whakapau kaha ki te whanaungatanga, i tō whakatau rānei ki te whakamutu.

He aha te tikanga ina wareware te tāne ki a koe?

Kaua e whakaaro, "Kei te aro mai ia ki ahau," engari kimihia he aha ngā tāne e ngana ana ki te aro atu ki ngā kōtiro. Ko te take tuatahi pea e aro atu ai te tāne ki a koe, nā te mea kei te aro atu ia ki a koe. Tērā pea kei te takaro noa ia kia whiwhi mai i a koe.

Ki te tino piri te tangata ki ana taputapu, tera pea ka nui ake tana aro ki aua mea. Tērā pea kei te tuku karere ia, kei te tirotiro rānei i ngā "like" i runga i te Insta i a ia e noho tahi ana me koe. Ae, he mea whakarihariha tēnā, e mōhio ana mātou.

Mehemea he tangata e pai ana ia ki ngā kēmu petipeti, ā, ka waea atu koe ki te kōrero aroha, tēnā koe e te Atua. Ka mutu noa tana waea me te kore he whakamārama.

Ina kore tetahi e aro ki a koe i runga i te karere kuputuhi, ā, kāore e whakautu mai mō ngā hāora, tera pea kei te kukume koe i ō makawe me te whakaaro he aha te hē o tō hoa tāne? Engari kia tino mohio ngā tāne, ina he nui ngā mahi, kaua e hiahia ki te whakautu wawe, nā te mea ehara tēnā i te mea nui ki a rātou. Tērā pea ētahi wā kāore tō hoa tāne e tuku karere mai i te tuatahi ki a koe.

Ki te kore koe e arohia e te tangata, ehara i te mea kei te aro atu ia ki a koe mō tētahi atu, engari he nui atu pea āna mea e aro ana ki ai – te mahi, ngā taputapu, te Netflix, te korowha, te haere tahi me ngā tāne – he mutunga kore pea te rārangi.

Engari ki te hiahia koe ki te mōhio ki ngā tohu e kite ana ia i tētahi atu tangata, ā, koia te take e kore ai ia e aro ki a koe, me pānui tonu koe.

5 Ngā Tohu e Whakahē Ana Ia i a Koe

Tērā pea ka warewarehia koe e te tangata mēnā kei te aro atu rātou ki a koe kia mōhio ai koe kei te aro atu koe ki a rātou. Tērā pea tētahi o ngā take e kore ai ia e aro atu ki a koe.

Engari, ki te kore ia e aro ki a koe, kāore he take, ko te tūponotanga kāore ia e aro ki a koe i ēnei rā, ā, kei te moe pea ia i tētahi atu. Anei ngā tohu e rima e whakaatu ana kei te wareware ia ki a koe nā te mea kei te moe ia i tētahi atu.

Pānui e pā ana: He aha te Tinihanga-iti, ā, he aha ngā tohu?

1. Ka whakakorea e ia ngā mahere me koe

E ai ki te whakapono rongonui, he take pai tā te wahine ki te whakakore i te rā, engari ki te pera anō te tāne, ko te tikanga kei te moe tahi rāua.

Ehara i te huarahi tino tika hei tirotiro i tana pono ki a koe, nā te mea i ētahi wā ehara i te mea he pango me te mā noa ngā mea o te ao.

Engari ki te whakakorea e ia ō kōrua rā i te meneti whakamutunga, ā, kāore rawa he take pai hei mahi pēnā, me tūpato koe. Whakamahia tō whakaaro pai ake kia mōhio ai mēnā he take pai āna hei whakakore i a koe , ā, whakaarohia he haki whero ina mahi pinepine ia i tēnei.

Ko ngā take e whakakorea ai e ia tētahi mahere māu koia pea:

• Kua hoha ia ki te taunekeneke ki a koe
• Kei te hiahia ia ki tētahi atu
• He take pono tāna pērā i tētahi āhuatanga ohorere whānau
• I tīmata ōna waewae makariri i te wā whakamutunga

2. Kāore ia i te tino aro mai ki ngā waea me ngā tuhinga pērā i mua

Ki te mea he uaua ake te whakapā atu ki a ia mēnā kei te akiakihia tonutia koe ki tana mēra reo, mēnā he roa ake tana whakahoki mai i ō karere kuputuhi me ō waea i roto i te wā tika, he tohu tēnei kei te wareware ia ki a koe mō tētahi atu.

He uaua ki te whakaae ki te kore aro o tetahi ki a koe mā te karere kuputuhi. Engari i mua i te peke ki te whakatau, pātai atu ki a ia he aha te āhua, ā, kia aro nui hoki ki āna whakautu.

Kei te kōrero ia i tēnei ki a koe?

• Kua pukumahi te mahi. (Hoatu ki a ia te painga o te ruarua)
• Ka waea atu ahau ki a koe i ngā wā katoa. (E waea atu ana ia?)
• He nui rawa āu waea mai, āu karere kuputuhi, kāore e taea e au te whai i ōu waea. (Kei te pena koe?)
• E mārama ana ahau ina pukumahi koe, ka tumanako ahau kia pērā anō hoki koe

3. Kāore ia e hiahia ana ki te taatai

Ahakoa he moe tāne, he takaro i mua i te tāne, he kihi, he awhi, he PDA rānei, mēnā kua taunga koe ki tētahi tauira o āna nekehanga me te auau o āna mahi piripono ā-tinana, ā, ka kite koe i tōna hekenga nui, me manukanuka koe.

Kōrero ki a ia mō tēnei mea hei whakatika i te raruraru, tera pea nā te take hauora, ki te kore, he tino hē tetahi mea. He tohu tino tēnei kei te wareware ia ki a koe me te whai take.

Mena kei te mahi ia i tēnei, he take tōu ki te manukanuka…

• Ki te parai koe i ō maihao ki a ia ka hoki whakamuri ia
• I ngā wā katoa ka taea e kōrua te piripono, ka karohia e ia te āhuatanga.
• E mea ana ia kāore ia e hiahia ki te mahi ā-tinana, ā, kei te whakapae ia i a koe mō tēnā
• Ahakoa kei te moe ia, kei te ngaro tetahi mea

4. Ka tono ia kia "kati te mahi mataku"

Ki te ngana ia ki te whakahaere i a koe mā te whakakore i ō āwangawanga he mataku noa iho, ā, ka nui ake tō āwangawanga mō te whanaungatanga, kaua e katia ō kanohi. He tohu kino tēnei.

Ko te hoa pai e aro nui ana ki te whanaungatanga, pērā i a koe, ka ngana ki te kōrero i ngā mea hei whakamārama i ō āwangawanga, ā, e kore rawa ia e whakapae i a koe mō ō ruarua.

Ka whakarongo te hoa tāne whai whakaaro ki a koe, ka aro atu ki te raruraru, ā, ka ngana kia mārama tahi. Ki te kore ia e mahi i tētahi o ēnei mea, kāore pea ia e hiahia ki te whakatau i te raruraru me koe, nā te mea kei tētahi atu wāhi tōna hinengaro.

Kei te mahi ia i tētahi o ēnei mea?

• Te whakapae i tō mana pupuri me tō koretake
• Kāore e whakarongo ki a koe, ā, ka puta ake āna ake take
• Kāore e taea e koe te whakapā atu ki a ia mā te waea, ā, kāore ia e kī mai kei hea ia
• He nui tana whakawhanaungatanga me ngā tāne

Pānui e pā ana: Kōrero Whaki: Tinihanga Kare ā-roto Vs Te Hoahoa – Te Raina Pōuri

5. Kāore koe i te mea nui ki a ia

Ki te whakaatu ia i tōna āwangawanga ki a koe i tētahi rā, ā, i tētahi rā i muri mai ka noho ko ia anake mēnā kāore koe e mōhio ki tōna tūnga, mēnā ka puta whakarere mai te hiahia kia nui ake te wāhi i roto i te whanaungatanga, mēnā ka ārai ia i a ia ina pātai atu koe ki a ia mō tōna wāhi noho, ā, ka pupuri i a koe kia matara atu i ana hoa, mēnā ka tino mōhio ia kei te hē tetahi mea, ā, kei te huna e ia tetahi mea.

Ina mutu te whakaaro o te hoa tāne ki a koe hei mea nui, ā, ka ahua whakarihariha te whanaungatanga , kei te huna ia i tētahi manene i roto i tana karāti, kei te hono atu rānei ki tētahi atu kōtiro. Ā, e ai ki ngā tatauranga, ko te tuarua tonu te mea nui!

Mena kei te mahi ia i tēnei, kei a ia tētahi atu:

• Kua mutu te whakarite mahere tahi me koe
• Ka whakautua koe me ngā kupu kotahi
• Kāore i te maha ngā wā e kīia ana te kupu reta-toru
• Ka tere te riri

Ki te mea kei te āwangawanga koe mō te haere o te whanaungatanga, ā, kāore tō hoa tāne e aro nui ana ki a koe pērā i mua, me whakamahara koe he tika ake māu te nui atu. Ae, he mamae te wehe atu, engari he kino rawa atu te whakapau i tō wā me tō kaha ki tētahi kāore e tika ana māu.

Anei te huarahi e taea ai e te piripono i roto i te whanaungatanga te whakangaro

He mea hei whakakatakata te mea ngaro ki te toa i te tangata?

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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.