Ka tīmata ngā mea pai katoa i te kapu kawhe me te kōrero pai. Engari i mōhio kē koe ki tēnā, kāore? Ko te mea kāore koe e mōhio ko te kōrero ki taua kōtiro ataahua i te taha, ā, he pai tēnā. Ko tētahi o ngā mea tino uaua pea mā ngā tāne ko te kōrero noa ki tētahi kōtiro ataahua. Ahakoa kua tono kē koe kia haere tahi rāua, ka kite koe ka tīmata tō waha me tō hinengaro ki te mamae i te momotu ina hiahia koe ki te kōrero ki tētahi kōtiro ataahua.
Ahakoa te hunga tino matatau ki te kōrero, e matatau ana ki te kōrero tonu, ka pāngia pea rātou e te koretake o te roro ina kōrero rātou ki tētahi wahine ātaahua. E mōhio ana koe me whakaatu e koe tō pūkenga, engari ka taea e te mataku me te whakamataku te hinga i a koe.
Me te mea kua wareware ohorere koe i ngā reo katoa e mōhio ana koe i a koe e uaua ana ki te whakapuaki i ō whakaaro. Ahakoa he pono pea tēnā, ko te mea he tino pai tō wairua i muri i te kōrero ki tētahi wahine ātaahua ka nui ake te whakahihiri. Kei konei mātou ki te kī atu ki a koe ka taea e koe te kōrero ki tētahi kotiro ātaahua me te ngāwari, ehara i te mea uaua pērā i tō whakaaro!
5 Ngā Tohutohu Māmā hei Kōrero ki tētahi Kōtiro Ātaahua
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Whakamutua ō whakaharatau whakaata pō, wetekina aua kupu waiata, ka pēhi i te pātene muku i ngā kōrero kiriata katoa i pahuatia e koe. Kāore tetahi o aua mea e angitu. Ā, kia mōhio ai koe, e toru meneti te roa o te wā e pau ana i ngā wāhine ki te whakatau i ō rātou whakaaro mō te tāne – nō reira, 180 hēkona noa iho tāu hei hiri i te whakaaetanga. (Pūtake)
Kaua e tukua te pēhanga o te mahi i roto i taua wā poto kia pā ki a koe! Heoi, ki te mea ko tō whakaaro mō te takaro he tuku meme, he kī tauhou rānei "he ātaahua tō mata", me pānui pea koe i tēnei tuhinga kupu ki te kupu. I a koe e rapu ana i te whakautu ki te "me pēhea te kōrero ki tētahi kōtiro ātaahua", kaua e pātai ki ō hoa tino ātaahua mō ngā tohutohu. Kāore he mea e whai hua ana i a rātou, kāore rātou e mōhio he rua me te hawhe ngā rā pakihi e pau ana ki te hunga whakaaro nui ki te whakaaro me pēhea te tuku karere ki tētahi kōtiro.
Hei kōrero ki tētahi wahine ataahua, ko te māia anake te mea e hiahiatia ana e koe. Engari ki te mea he tangata mataku koe, kua whakaaro pea koe me rua kaukau koe, he inu cologne, he tohu PhD i roto i te thermodynamics, he tohu rangatira mō te rangimārie, me te nui o te waipiro i mua i tō nekehanga. Whakapono mai ki a mātou, ko te māia anake te mea e hiahiatia ana e koe, ā, ka taea e koe te kōrero ki tētahi kōtiro ataahua me te ngāwari.
Kāore anō kia tino whakapono? Tirohia ēnei tohutohu e rima mō te kōrero ki tētahi kōtiro ātaahua. Kia tae koe ki te mutunga o tēnei tuhinga, ka tīmata koe ki te whakaaro kua whānau mai koe ki te mahi i tēnei.
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1. Tirohia ōna kanohi
Ko te tohutohu tuatahi mō tētahi kōrero pai ko te pupuri i te titiro kanohi ki tō hoa. Mā te titiro kanohi ki tētahi kōtiro ātaahua ka tukuna he tohu pai ki a ia. Tuatahi, kei te hoatu e koe he whakaaro tuatahi tino pai ki a ia kāore koe e mataku ana ki a ia (ahakoa te nui o tō werawera i roto). Kei te whakaatu koe kei te maia koe, kei te tino mōhio hoki ki a koe anō.
Tuarua, ka whakaatu atu tēnei ki a ia ehara koe i te tangata wairangi e kōrero ana ki a ia kia kaua e kōrero kino. Kia taea ai e koe te kōrero atu ki tua atu, he mea nui kia kaua e puta he āhua mataku, he hiahia nui ki te mahi. Kaua e whakakorikori i ō kanohi – ka tere te kite a te kōtiro i ēnei mea iti ahakoa he hēkona noa iho.
Tuatoru, mā te titiro atu ki ōna kanohi, me te pupuri i taua titiro, kei te kōrero koe, "Kei a koe taku aro". Ā, ka tino whakahoki mai ia i tō aro. Ko te titiro māia ki ōna kanohi i a koe e kōrero ana ki a ia tētahi o ngā huarahi pai ki te miharo i tētahi kōtiro ātaahua. Hei tāpiri, tera pea ka taea e koe te takaro ki ō kanohi . Ki te hiahia koe ki te whakaharatau, tonoa he āwhina mai i ō hoa wahine. Engari e mōhio ana kōrua ka kata noa iho kōrua tetahi ki tetahi.
Ko te kaha ake o te titiro kanohi, ko te pai ake. Ina hoki, kua whakaatuhia e ngā rangahau he kaha te titiro kanohi kaha ki te whakatakoto i te aroha ki te tokorua tauhou. Koinei te huarahi pai ki te tīmata kōrero ki tētahi kōtiro ataahua.
2. Ngāna ki te hono atu ki a ia
Kāore he rerekētanga o ngā kōtiro ātaahua, ataahua i tētahi atu; he tangata rātou pērā i a tātou katoa. Kua hoha rātou ki te hunga e ngana ana ki te miharo i a rātou ki ā rātou mētara whakatutukitanga, ki ngā hoa rongonui, ki ngā puku momona, ki ngā utu 6-mati rānei. E hiahia ana rātou ki tētahi hei hono atu ki a rātou i te taha hinengaro me te taha kare ā-roto, pērā i te nuinga o tātou. Engari ko te nuinga o ngā tāne e titiro ana ki a rātou he mea hei whakapaipai i te kanohi, ā, e kōrero ana mō rātou anō anake hei waihanga i tētahi whakaaro pai. Kāore he take ki te kī, e kore tēnā e angitu.
Ina kōrero koe ki tētahi wahine ātaahua, me waiho hei kōrerorero, kaua hei pānui i tētahi CV. Kua hoha kē te kotiro ātaahua ki ngā tāne e ngana ana ki te miharo i a ia, kaua ki te hono atu ki a ia. Waiho tō mahi rongonui me tō utu iti rawa, ā, hono atu ki a ia i runga i te taumata whaiaro. Kōrero ki a ia pērā i te hoa, hoatu tō aro katoa ki a ia, me te mea kia rongo ia he hoa anō hoki kei roto i a koe.
Ko tā rātou e rapu nei he tangata hei kōrero tahi mā rātou, hei whakawhanake i tētahi hononga tūturu, whaiaro hoki. Ngāna kia rite ki te tangata e kata ai ia, kōrerotia he kōrero rorirori mō tōna tamarikitanga. Ahakoa he aha tāu e kōrero nei, kia pono tō kōrero. Kia menemene mai ia, ka ātaahua koe ki a ia.
3. Kia pai te whakarongo
I a koe e kōrero ana, kaua e wareware me whakarongo anō hoki koe. He pai te kōrero ki tētahi kōtiro ataahua engari me whakarongo anō hoki koe. Kaua e kōrero tonu mōu ake, mō tō hītori, mō ō mea e pai ana ki a koe, mō ō mea e kore e pai ki a koe. Ahakoa he mea maori te kōrero mōu ake, me te whakamōhio atu ki a ia mō ō mea kei a koe i te ao, ehara i te mea koinei te huarahi pai ki te hono atu. Ehara i te mea ko te whakamanamana mōu ake, engari ko te mea kia motuhake ia i roto i tō kamupene.
Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe "he aha te uaua o te kōrero ki tētahi kōtiro ātaahua?" me whakarerekē rawa tō huarahi. Kati te kōrero, tīmata te whakarongo! Pātai atu ki a ia he pātai whakahihiri mōna ake, me te whakaatu pono i tō hiahia ki a ia. Kia oti rā anō, ahakoa ka kōrero koe ki tētahi kōtiro ātaahua mō te wā tuatahi, ka pai haere ngā mea katoa.
Kawea atu te arotahi ki a ia. Koinei tō wā whai wāhi koura ki te mōhio ki ngā mea katoa i hiahia koe ki te mōhio mō tēnei kōtiro ataahua. Whakaaturia ki a ia kei a ia tō aro katoa, ā, e pai ana koe ki te whakarongo ki a ia. Ka pai tōna wairua, ā, ki te nui ake tō whakaoho i a ia kia pai ai tōna wairua, ka nui ake te tūponotanga ka pai ake ia ki a koe , kaua ki te tāne e mau ana i ngā mōhiti kanohi i te pae, e ngana ana ki te kōrero ki tēnei kōtiro i ngā wā katoa e wātea ana.
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4. Patai nga paatai tika
Ina tīmata koe ki te pātai mōna, kia kaua e uiuitia rawatia, e pātai nui rawa rānei — ka raru pea tōna ngākau i tēnā. Ngāna ki te pātai i ngā pātai whai tikanga pēnei i te, "He aha te mea kotahi o te ao e kore e taea e koe te ora me te kore?" , "He aha tāu whakatutukitanga nui rawa atu tae noa ki tēnei wā?" "Mēnā ka hoatu ki a koe tētahi mana nui, he aha tēnā?" Mā tēnei ka mau tonu tōna aroha ki a koe.
He maha ngā tāne ka tīmata me ngā pātai mata rite tonu – kei hea koe e mahi ana, kei hea koe e noho ana, he aha tāu i ako ai. He tino hoha ēnei, ā, kāore i te tino whakamere. Ki te hiahia koe ki te pātai atu ki a ia, pātai atu ki a ia ngā pātai e whakaatu ana i tōna āhua. He āhua whakamataku pea tēnei, engari ka āwhina i a koe ki te hono atu ki tētahi taumata piripono, whaiaro hoki. Hei tāpiri, ka nui ake tō mōhio ki a ia.
Kaua e pātai atu ki a ia mō te waehere PIN i te kōrero tuatahi. Ko te kōrero ki tētahi kōtiro ātaahua te mea iti rawa o ō āwangawanga ina kōrero koe ki ngā pirihimana, me te whakamārama he aha koe i pātai ai i ngā mōhiohio whaiaro mai i tētahi tangata tauhou!
5. Hangaia ngā āhuatanga ōrite
Ka tere te aroha o te katoa ki tētahi e rite ana ngā hiahia ki a rātou. Ki te hiahia koe kia whakaatu mai ia i tōna hiahia ki a koe, whakaaturia ki a ia te nui o ō kōrua āhuatanga ōrite. I roto i te wā poto, ka huri kōrua mai i te tauhou ki tētahi hoa pea. Heoi, ki te mea ko te mea ōrite anake ka kitea e kōrua ko te pai ki te pīta, me rapu hohonu atu kōrua. He pai ki te katoa te pīta.
Kāore koe e hiahia ki te rūpahu i tō āhua ōrite. Kaua e wareware ki te kī, 'Āe, e pai ana ahau ki tēnei', 'ko au hoki' rānei ina puta he āhua ōrite i roto i tā kōrua kōrero. Mā tēnei, ka whanake te wairua nō roto ia, ā, ka pai ake tana kōrero ki a koe. Waihoki, i te wā e whai ake nei, ka taea e kōrua te whai kaupapa hou hei kōrero māu mai i ēnei āhua ōrite.
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Ahakoa he mea whai hua tonu te mōhio ki ngā mea tika katoa hei kōrero ki tētahi kōtiro, he mea nui anō hoki kia tuhia ngā mea 'kāore' e tika ana kia kōrerotia. Mēnā ka kōrero koe i ngā mea hē i a koe e kōrero ana ki tētahi wahine ataahua, ka waiho pea koe hei patunga o te "pipi-waipiro-ki-te-kanohi" rongonui. Kāore koe e hiahia kia huri tēnei hei whakaaturanga i roto i tētahi kiriata katakata, e tika ana?
Pānuihia kia kitea ai he aha ngā mea kāore e tika kia kōrerotia e koe i a koe e ngana ana ki te miharo i tētahi kōtiro ātaahua.
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1. “He tino ātaahua koe; kāore au i te mārama he aha koe i takakau ai”
Ka ngaro katoa ngā kōrero pai kua kohia e koe i roto i tāu kōrero tae noa mai ki tēnei wā. He mea pai te noho takakau . Ka taea e te kotiro ataahua te noho takakau i waho o tana whiriwhiri - ā, ka tohu pea koe i a ia mā te kī he hē tana mahi nā te mea kāore ia i roto i te whanaungatanga, ā, me noho ia i roto i tētahi. Nō reira, me muku rawa tēnei i tō rārangi - ki te whakaaro koe kei te mihi koe ki a ia, whakapono mai, ehara.
2. "Ka taea e koe te matapae e hia te moni ka whiwhi ahau?"
Ina ngana koe ki te whakamanamana mō te nui o te moni e whiwhi ana koe hei miharo i tētahi kōtiro ātaahua, ko te tangata anake ka miharo koe ko te kaiwhakarewa inu, ā, ka mahi inaianei i ngā inu tino utu nui ki a koe. Kaua e pēnei i ngā wā katoa, kāore he painga o te whakamanamana mō te motuka e taraiwahia ana e koe ina hoki ko koe anake ki te kāinga.
Ko tētahi whakaaro hē a ngā tāne mō ngā wāhine ataahua, motuhake hoki, ko te kī he hunga rapu moni rātou . Ko ngā tāne anake e kōrero ana rātou mō te moni. He momo whakaaro hē tēnei! Whakamātauria te toa i tōna ngākau mā te whakamahi i tētahi mea nui atu i tō pūkete putea.
3. "Kei te ngana tonu aku hoa ki te hono atu ki ahau"
Ko tāna whakautu wawe tonu, "Nā, he aha koe te waiho ai i ahau?". Mā te whakamanamana mō ō mahi moepuku ka rite koe ki te tangata wairangi e mahi ana i ngā mea katoa e taea ana kia mau ai koe i roto i ōna tarau.
Ki te hiahia koe kia nui ake tō hiahia, ngana kia pono ki tāu hoa wahine. Me kī atu ki a ia kei te pai ia ki a ia, ā, kei te hiahia koe kia pai ake tō mōhio ki a ia.
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4. "He rite tonu tō āhua ki tōku māmā!"
Ā, ko te mea i muri mai ka mōhio koe kua āraia koe e ia ake tonu atu i tōna ao, e whakaaro ana koe he tangata whakamataku me te matatini Oedipal . Kāore ngā wāhine e pai kia whakaritea ki ō whaea. Mena he mea kei a ia e whakamahara ana i a koe ki tō whaea, whiriwhiria taua mea kotahi kaua e whakataurite. Hei tauira, tera pea he kanohi tino ataahua, he atawhai hoki ōna, pērā i tō māmā. Inaianei, kaua e kī, He rite ō kanohi ki ō tōku māmā!”, me pēhea te kī tika me te ngāwari, "He tino ataahua ō kanohi - e kanapa ana i te atawhai!" Āe! Kua oti te mahi - ā, kāore koe i hiahia ki te whakauru i tō māmā ki te pikitia!
5. "Nō reira, tōu wāhi, nōku rānei?"
Kia tīmata ia te noho humarie me te whakapuaki i ōna whakaaro ki a koe, tērā pea ka tīmata koe ki te whakaaro kua tino tika tāu mahi. Nā te mea kua tīmata ia ki te kata, ki te menemene, me te whakapuaki i ngā kōrero poto o tōna ao, kei te tuku tohu matomato ia e pai ana ia ki a koe. Ā, kua tino rite ia mō 'tēnā'. Āe, pātai atu ki a ia i tēnei pātai, ā, e kore rawa koe e kite i a ia anō.
He rite anō te kōrero pai ki tētahi momo toi — me whakaharatau koe kia tino tika ai. Ā, ina maumahara koe ki ngā tohutohu e tika ana, ā, kia matatau hoki ki aua tohutohu, ka hiahia ngā kōtiro ataahua katoa ki te inu kawhe māu.
Ngā mea e kinongia ana e ngā wāhine mō ō rātou tinana, ā, e tino arohaina ana e ngā tāne
Ngā Taupānga Whakaipoipo Pai rawa atu hei Tīmata Kōrerorero, he Tino Whai Hua
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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
