15 Ngā Take Kāore tō Tāne e Tukua he Karere Tuatahi ki a Koe Engari Ka Whakautu Tonu Ki a Koe

He maha ngā wā ka pātai koe, "He aha ia kāore ai e tuku karere tuatahi mai ki ahau, engari ka tere tonu tana whakautu mai?" Kaua e manukanuka. E miriona pea ngā wāhine huri noa i te ao e pāngia ana e tēnei wero ahakoa te āhua pai o ngā mea katoa i roto i ō rātou oranga aroha. Nō reira, he aha rā, ahakoa te tumanako noa ko te tāne te tangata e tīmata ana i te kōrero, ka mahi ētahi tāne i te ritenga kē?

Āe, he tino ngāwari te kimi hoa mō ngā tāne. E kīia ana, ina hiahia te tāne ki te whai i tētahi wahine, ka hurihia e ia te ao mōna. Ā, ka mōhio koe kāore ia e hiahia ana ina kore ia e tīmata i tētahi taunekeneke. Engari he tino māmā noa iho? He mea ngaro rānei kei roto? Ka kitea e tātou i roto i tēnei tuhinga. Nō reira, pānuihia tonu kia wetewetehia ai ētahi take kāore ētahi tāne e tuku karere kuputuhi tuatahi, me ngā huarahi hoki hei whakatau i tēnei āhuatanga.

15 Ngā Take Kāore tō Tāne e Tukua he Karere Tuatahi ki a Koe Engari Ka Whakautu Tonu Ki a Koe

Ki te kore te tāne e tuku karere tuatahi ki a koe, engari ka whakautu mai ina tīmata koe, he maha ngā take mō tēnei whanonga. Ahakoa he ture mō te tuku karere i te wā e whakaipoipo ana , kāore i te katoa ngā ture e whaihia ana. He rerekē te tangata, pērā anō hoki ā rātou momo whakaipoipo. E kōrero ana tētahi kaiwhakamahi Reddit he aha ia i pērā ai: "He tāne whakama ahau, ā, ki taku whakaaro kāore anō kia tīmata he kōrero ki tētahi kōtiro, engari i ngā wā katoa e kōrero mai ai tētahi kōtiro ki ahau, ka kōrero atu ahau."

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Nō reira, ko koe tētahi o te hunga e amuamu pinepine ana, "Kāore ia e tuku karere tuatahi mai ki ahau, engari ka whakautu tonu mai ina tukuna mai e au"? Mēnā rānei, mā te ine i tōna aroha me tōna manaaki ki a koe mā te auau o ngā karere kuputuhi e tukuna ana e ia? Āe, ngana ki te pānui i ēnei take e kore ai te tāne e tuku karere tuatahi mai ki a koe, engari ka whakautu tonu mai ki a koe:

1. He māia noa iho ia

Ki te kore tō tāne e tīmata kōrero engari ka whakautu wawe mai, tera pea he tangata whakama ia, e mōhio ana koe. He rerekē te ahua, tika? Ina koa, ina kī ngā ture tuku iho mō te whakaipoipo ko ngā tāne te tuatahi ki te neke. He mea whakamīharo, he maha ngā tāne kāore e māia, e whakama noa rānei, kāore e ngāwari te whakapuaki i ō rātou whakaaro, ahakoa ki ō rātou hoa.

Titiro mai, he nui rawa ngā whakaaro o ngā tāne whakama, ā, ka karo pea rātou i ngā kōrero kuputuhi (i ngā kōrero rānei) nā te mea e mataku ana rātou kei raru pea ngā mea i tētahi nekehanga hē a tō rātou taha.

Engari i tētahi atu taha, tera pea ka pai ki a rātou te aro mai i a koe. Nō reira, he pai ake ki a rātou te whakautu i ō karere, nā te mea he pai ake tō rātou noho haumaru. I ētahi wā, ka tere tonu te whakautu, nā te mea kua tatari pea rātou mō taua karere tuatahi. Heoi anō, kāore e taea e rātou te whakaemi i te kaha ki te tuku karere tuatahi ki a koe.

2. Kei te tiaki ia i a ia anō i roto i ngā kare ā-roto

"Kāore ia e tuku karere tuatahi mai ki ahau, engari ka whakautu tonu mai, he aha rā?" Āe, kia maumahara, ehara i te mea ko ngā wāhine anake e āta tiaki ana. Ka tiaki hoki ngā tāne i a rātou anō mai i te mamae o te ngākau. Tērā pea kāore ia i te tino mōhio ki ō kare ā-roto mōna, ā, nō reira, ka tauhohe pea ia i roto i te mehua kua āta whakaarohia ina whakapā atu koe ki a ia. Tērā pea he āhua makariri ia, engari koinei pea tana huarahi hei tiaki i a ia anō mai i te mamae pea.

Anei pea ētahi o ngā take mō tēnei:

• Tērā pea i pāngia ia e te wehenga kino ā, he pai ake pea te āta haere inaianei
• Tērā pea e hiahia ana ia kia tino mōhio mēnā he rite tonu tō aroha ki a ia ki tōna aroha ki a koe i mua i tana whakapuakitanga katoa ki a koe.
• E mataku ana ia ki tāu whakautu mēnā ka tuku karere tuatahi ia ki a koe, ā, kāore ia e hiahia kia ngaro te hononga ake tonu atu.
• Tērā pea ia e whakaaro ana mēnā he tohu piripono te tuku karere tuatahi ki a koe

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3. He mamae tōna kāore anō kia whakatauhia mai i ngā whanaungatanga aroha o mua

He nui te pānga o ngā whanaungatanga aroha o mua ki ō tātou tirohanga mō ngā rā kei te heke mai. Ā, ki te kore te tāne e hiahia ana koe ki te tīmata kōrero, tera pea kei a ia te aukati hinengaro inaianei. Ā, tera pea nā te mea:

• I tinihangatia ia e tētahi hoa
• Kua pāngia ia e te moni, te tinana, te kōrero, te tukino aronganui i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga o mua
• I whakarērea ia e tana hoa i muri i tana whakapuakitanga i tōna hiahia ki a ia
• I pōturi tana hononga ki tētahi hoa o mua i muri i tana whakaatu i tōna hiahia ki a ia

4. Kāore ia e pai ana ki ō tuhinga

Nō reira, ki te mea kei te uaua koe ki te mārama ki te kupu, "Kāore ia e tuku karere mai i te tuatahi engari ka whakautu tonu mai", ko te take māmā rawa atu mō te kore hiahia o te tāne ki te tuku karere mai i te tuatahi ki a koe, ko te kore pea ia e pai ki te taunekeneke ki a koe. Ki te mea he tangata maroke koe ki te tuku karere , tera pea kei te ngana noa ia ki te atawhai mā te whakautu mai ki a koe. Anei pea ngā take:

• Ka kōrero koe mō ngā mea kāore ia e aro atu ana
• Kāore koe e takaro ana ki a ia, ā, ka whakaaro ia mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki a ia
• Kāore koe e whakapuaki ana i ngā katakata, i ngā meme rānei, engari e piri tonu ana ki ngā kaupapa nui

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5. Kāore ia i te māia

Ki te kore te tāne e tuku karere tuatahi engari ka whakautu tonu, kia maumahara, ko te koretake pea tētahi o ngā take o tēnei. Ā, he maha ngā take e pā ana ki tēnei koretake, pēnei i:

• Tērā pea ka whakaaro ia kāore ia i te tino ātaahua, kāore hoki i te tino mohio, ā, he tino kino rawa atu koe i waho o tana rīki
• Tērā pea he raruraru whanaungatanga mātua kāore i te haumaru
• Tērā pea i tukinotia ia i te kura, i te whare wānanga rānei, ā, tērā pea i pā ki tōna whakaaro nui ki a ia anō

6. He tino pukumahi ia ki te ao me ētahi atu kaupapa matua

Inaianei, tera pea he tino pukumahi ia i te mahi, koia pea te take kāore e taea e ia te tīmata kōrero wawe ki a koe. Tērā pea nā ana mahi ā-whare ia i whakauaua, ā, kāore pea i a ia te wā ki te tuku karere kuputuhi ki a koe ahakoa e pai ana ia ki a koe. Tērā pea ka āhua makariri ia, engari me arotake e koe te āhuatanga kia kitea ai tana kaupapa mahi, kia kaua e whakararuraru i a ia ina pukumahi ia.

7. Kāore ia e whakaatu pono ana i tana he

Tērā pea kua pāngia koe e te whakaipoipo hī ika mēnā kei te karo ia i ngā taunekeneke ki a koe. Tērā pea kei te whakaipoipo ia i a koe me tētahi atu kōtiro, kei te pupuri rānei i tōna tawhiti kia kore ai koe e tino piri ki a ia. Mēnā he pērā, me kōrero koe, me kimi mēnā he kōtiro kē kei roto i te whārite. Mēnā koinā, oma atu i tēnei whanaungatanga kino tonu. Ā, mēnā kei te pātai tonu koe ki a koe anō, "Ko au tonu te tuku karere ki a ia i te tuatahi, me mutu?", āe, me mahi pea koe.

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8. He tangata whakaipoipo noa ia

Ia wā ka pātai koe ki a koe anō, "He aha te tikanga mēnā kāore te tāne e tuku karere tuatahi mai ki a koe?", kia maumahara ko tētahi take pea mōna e noho tawhiti ana, ko tana hiahia kia matara atu i te aroha me te whanaungatanga. Engari i tētahi atu taha, e pai ana ia ki tō aro, ā, e pai ana ki a ia koe hei tangata ngahau i roto i tōna ao. Nō reira, e pai ana ia ki te tākaro kēmu. I roto i te poto, e hiahia ana ia ki te whakaipoipo noa i a koe, ā, kāore e hiahia ki te tuku tohutohu hē ki a koe mā te tuku karere tuatahi mai ki a koe. Nō reira, ki te pātai tonu koe ki a koe anō, "He aha ia i pai ai ki aku pou engari kāore e tuku karere mai ki ahau?", āe, kāore pea ia e hiahia.

9. He maha āu karere kuputuhi ki a ia

Mai i te 'ata mārie' ki te 'pō mārie', ka tukuna atu e koe he karere ki a ia i ngā wā katoa e hiahia ana koe. Kāore koe e mangere ki te tuku karere tuarua . Āe, tera pea kāore koe e hoatu ana i te wā nui ki a ia kia ngaro ai ia i a koe, ā, kei te ngaro tōna hiahia. Nō reira, i mua i te whakaaro he aha ia kāore ai e tuku karere tuatahi ki a koe, ngana ki te hoatu he wā ki a ia. Whakamutua te tikanga mō te rā kotahi, e rua rānei, ka tirohia mēnā ka tīmata ia ki te tuku karere tuatahi ki a koe. Mā tēnei, ka taea e koe te whakamātautau i te huarahi e anga atu ai tō kōrua whanaungatanga.

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10. He raruraru āna ki te whakapau kaha

Nā, he aha te tikanga mēnā kāore te tāne e tuku karere tuatahi ki a koe? Tērā pea kei te mataku ia kei hiahia koe ki te uru atu ki te here ina tīmata ia ki te tuku karere pinepine ki a koe. Nō reira, kia kore ai e hoatu he tohu hē ki a koe mō te whanaungatanga, tērā pea ka mahue i a ia te tuku karere tuatahi ki a koe.

He tohu tēnei he tangata ia e mataku ana ki te whakapau kaha . Ki te mea kei te rapu koe i tētahi mea nui, ā, mō te wā roa, ā, kāore ia, he mārama kāore kōrua i te tino ōrite. Nō reira, kaua e whakapau i te wā ki te tuku karere ki a ia, ki te pātai rānei ki a koe anō, "He aha ia te kore ai e tuku karere mai ki ahau?", me whakatā koe i a ia.

11. Tērā pea kei wehi ia kei whakararuraru i te whakatau tatai ki a koe

Ko te tāne pono e whakaaro nui ana ki a koe, ka karo pea ia i te tuku karere kuputuhi ki a koe i te tuatahi kia kore ai koe e whakapataritari, e whakapataritari rānei i a koe. Nō reira, i roto i ētahi atu mea:

• Tērā pea he tangata māhaki koe, ā, ka riri pea koe i ana karere kuputuhi
• I roto i ō taunekeneke noa, kua kī atu pea koe ki a ia kāore koe e hiahia ki tētahi hoa tāne piripono ko wai ka tuku karere, ka waea atu rānei i te rā katoa

Nō reira, i mua i te pātai atu ki a koe anō, "He aha ia te kore ai e tuku karere mai ki ahau?", ngana kia mārama kei te āta karo ia i te tuku karere mai ki a koe i te tuatahi kia kore ai e raru koe.

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12. Kei te ngana pea ia ki te aromatawai mēnā kei te pirangi koe ki a ia

He maha ngā wā ka mea koe, "E pai ana ia ki ahau, engari kāore e tīmata te whakapā atu"? He kēmu whakaipoipo tūturu tēnei, e ngana ana pea ia ki te mārama mēnā e pai ana koe ki a ia, kāore rānei. Ahakoa kei te tatari ia kia tukuna atu e koe he karere kuputuhi ki a ia i mua i tana whakautu, tera pea kei te pai ia ki te aro atu.

I kōrero mai tētahi hoa mahi, a Nathan, ki ahau mō tana whiriwhiri i ngā hoa i runga i tētahi taupānga whakaipoipo . I mea ia ka tukuna e ia he karere kotahi, kātahi ka kore e tuku karere mō te wiki. Ka tatari ia kia tukuna mai e te kōtiro he karere ki a ia, ā, ki te kore ia e tuku karere, ka karo ia i te kōrero ki a ia, ka aro ki ētahi atu. Koinei te huarahi i kitea ai e ia mēnā he pai ki a ia tētahi kōtiro, kāore rānei. Nō reira, me whai tohu noa iho pea tāu tāne e aroha ana koe ki a ia, ahakoa mā roto i ngā karere, mā roto rānei i ngā taunekeneke kanohi ki te kanohi.

13. Kāore ia i te tino aro ki a koe

He maha āu pātai ki a koe anō, "He aha ia i pai ai ki aku pou engari kāore e tuku karere mai ana ki ahau?" Tērā pea kāore ia i te tino aro ki a koe . Engari kia kore ai e whara koe, kei te ngana ia ki te atawhai me te atawhai i a koe. Koinei pea te take kāore ia e tīmata i ngā karere engari ka whakautu tonu ina tukuna atu e koe he karere ki a ia. Anei ngā tohu hei tūpato i roto i ēnei āhuatanga:

• He kupu kotahi tonu āna whakautu
• Ka roa tana whakautu mai
• Ka mutu ohorere tana kōrerorero

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14. He pai ki a ia te tākaro uaua kia whiwhi ai

"E pai ana ia ki ahau engari kāore ia e tīmata i te whakapā atu." He mea mōhio tēnei? Āe, e whakaaro ana ētahi tāne mā te awhi i tētahi āhua pōuri me te whai whakaaro nui, ka taea e rātou te āhua ataahua ake ki a koe. Engari i roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ka wareware pea koe ki ō rātou whakaaro tūturu ki a koe. Nō reira, ko tēnei kēmu ' uaua ki te whiwhi ' te take pea kāore ia i tuku karere tuatahi ki a koe. Ā, ki te mea kei te pātai tonu koe ki a koe anō, "Ko au tonu te tuku karere tuatahi ki a ia, me mutu rānei ahau", āe, i roto i tēnei āhuatanga, ka taea e koe te tatari me te mātakitaki.

15. He pakari tō tuakiri

He maha ngā wā ka karohia e ngā tāne ngoikore ngā wāhine e āhua kaha ana. Tērā pea ka mataku rātou, ka mataku rānei i tō āhua kaha. Nō reira, tērā pea ka karohia, ka mutu rānei tā rātou tuku karere ki a koe i te tuatahi. Kāore he pānga o tēnei ki a koe, ā, kāore koe e hiahia ki te whakarerekē i a koe kia rite ki ngā hiahia o tētahi tāne kāore e tika ana kia whiwhi i tētahi wahine pakari pērā i a koe.

He hoa tōku, a Clara, he kaitākaro hākinakina tauhou, he wahine kaha hoki. I pai ia ki tētahi tāne i te whare takaro i whakangungu ai ia. I pai te noho tahi o rāua, ā, he maha ā rāua wā i te rā, engari i muri mai ka pakaru tana riri i a māua e kōrero ana, ka mea, "Kāore taku hoa tāne e tuku karere mai ki ahau i te tuatahi." I tana whakapuakitanga mai ki ahau, i mea a Clara i kite ia he pakari tōna tuakiri, ā, tera pea i mataku ngā tāne i a ia.

Me aha mēnā kāore ia e tuku karere tuatahi engari ka whakautu tonu

Nā, kua mōhio kē koe he aha te take kāore te tāne e tuku karere tuatahi ki a koe engari ka whakautu tonu, me mōhio anō hoki koe he mea noa tēnei. E kōrero ana tētahi kaiwhakamahi Reddit i tana wheako: "E whā ā māua rā, ā, he tino pai te hononga. Heoi, he mea rerekē ki ahau kāore ia e tuku karere mai i muri i tētahi rā, i tētahi atu pō rānei. Ina tuku karere atu ahau ki a ia, ka tere tana whakautu mai, ā, he tino pai ki ahau, nō reira ki taku whakaaro kāore ia e aro mai ki ahau. E 48 hāora noa iho taku tatari i mua i te tuku karere tuatahi, nō reira, kāore au i te tino mōhio mēnā ka tuku karere mai ia i muri i tētahi wā roa. Ehara tēnā i taku momo, e pai ana ahau ki a ia, ā, e kino ana ahau ki ngā kēmu."

Nā, kia kite tātou he aha tāu e taea ai mō tēnei āhuatanga. Āe, hei tīmatanga, kāore pea koe e kaha ki te mahi i te mea nui mēnā kāore ia e pai ki a koe. Engari, me pēhea mēnā kei te whakamātautau tonu ia, kei te tatari rānei kia hoatu e koe he tohutohu mārama ake? Āe, kaua e amuamu, "Kāore ia e tuku karere tuatahi mai ki ahau engari ka whakautu tonu mai ina mahi ahau", anei ētahi mea ka taea e koe te mahi mēnā kāore ia e tuku karere tuatahi mai engari ka whakautu tonu mai i muri:

• Kaua e whakautu tonu: Ko te ture koura mō te mahi tahi me tētahi e takaro ana pea i te 'uaua ki te tiki', kaua e whakautu tonu ki āna karere kuputuhi. Whakamātauria ia ki te whakamātau i tana ake rongoā mā te mea kia tatari ia mō āu whakautu, me te whakaaro, "He aha ia kāore ai e tuku karere mai ki ahau?"
• Me whakamārama ki a ia te take me tuku karere kuputuhi atu ia ki a koe: Hoatu he take ki a ia ki te tuku karere ki a koe. Nō reira, me whakaatu mai ka whiwhi ia i tētahi ra tuatahi he haerenga mutunga wiki rānei māua. Whakaaturia ki a ia kei te hiahia koe engari kaua e tino kitea rawatia
• Kaua e tino hāngai rawa ō tuhinga ki te haumanu: Ko te ture matua hei akiaki i a ia ki te tuku karere kuputuhi ki a koe, kaua e waiho hei tangata maroke. Whakamātauria te whakapau i te wā ki te rapu meme me ngā katakata rerekē hei whakapuaki.
• Kia whakakatakata, kia ngahau hoki: Tāpirihia he āhua whakaipoipo ina tuku karere koe ki a ia. Mā tēnei ka māmā ake te noho mena kei te mataku ia, kei te mataku rānei ki te tuku karere tuatahi ki a koe.
• Tukua atu he karere kuputuhi ina wātea ia: Akohia tana rārangi mahi, me te wā e wātea ana ia. Ahakoa i te pō, i te awatea rānei, tukua he karere ina taea e ia te tuku karere ki a koe, me te kore he raruraru.
• Kia tino mōhio ia e pai ana koe ki a ia: Hei whakakore i ngā mataku katoa kei pā kino koe ki a ia, ā, kia kore ai e pakaru te hononga, kia mōhio ia e pai ana koe ki a ia. Tukua atu ētahi tohu huna e aroha ana koe ki a ia, ā, e kore ia e riri ki ana karere kuputuhi.
• Whakamātauria te ture 3-rā: Kati te tuku karere kuputuhi mō ngā rā e toru, tirohia mēnā ka whakautu mai ia. Ki te whakautu mai ia, tera pea he mahi uaua noa iho tana. Ki te kore, tērā pea kāore ia e pai ki a koe.

Ko te tumanako kāore koe i te pōhēhē tonu i te āhua "kāore ia e tuku karere tuatahi mai ki ahau engari ka whakautu tonu mai" me te whakaaro rānei, "He aha ia te tuku karere tuatahi mai ai ki ahau?" Ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero hauora me te tuwhera te kī ki tētahi wheako whakaipoipo whai hua. Engari ki te kore tō hoa tāne e whakapuaki ana i ōna whakaaro ki a koe i ngā wā katoa, kia tūpato ki ngā take pea kua whakarārangihia i roto i tēnei tuhinga. Ahakoa rā, he rerekē pea ngā wero whakawhitiwhiti kōrero a ia tokorua. Engari kia mahara, ki te pono ōna whakaaro ki a koe, mā te tūpato ki ēnei tohu ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakakī i te āputa o te whanaungatanga, mēnā he mea kei roto.

Haunga tēnei, ko te mārama ki ngā tauira whakaipoipo me ngā momo piripono he rongoā tino pai mō tēnei raruraru. Ki te aroha koe ki tō hoa, ā, e tino piri ana koe ki te whanaungatanga, kia mōhio koe, kaua e pōuri, "Kāore taku hoa tāne e tuku karere tuatahi mai ki ahau", engari me whakapau kaha koe ki te mōhio ki te pūtake o tēnei whanonga. Ka taea e tēnei te āwhina i a koe ki te whakapai ake i tō momo whakawhitiwhiti kōrero hei tokorua, ā, ka mutu tēnei kēmu katoa, arā, ko wai ka tuku karere tuatahi mai.

Te Tuku Karere a ngā Tāne ina Pai Ana rātou ki a Koe – 15 Ngā Tohu Ka Hoatu e Mātou ki a Koe

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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.