8 Ngā Huarahi hei Noho Mawehe atu i te Aroha, hei Ārai hoki i te Mamae

"I whakamōhio ahau i ahau anō kia kaua e tino piri ki tētahi mea, ki tētahi tangata rānei. I muri i te wehenga, me whakatika ake ahau. He nui taku tangi engari kua pai ake ahau, ā, e mihi ana ahau ki a ia mō tēnā."
– Deepika Padukone

Kua whakatau koe kia matara atu i te aroha, kia karo hoki i te mamae, i te raruraru me te mamae o te ngākau? Āe, ahakoa te makutu o te aroha, he nui ake te mamae o te mamae o te ngākau. Ina wehe kōrua, ka mamae tō ngākau i te mamae, ā, ka tīmata koe ki te hanga taiepa hei karapoti i a koe. Ka wehe atu koe i ō whanaunga, ā, kāore he mea e rite ana anō. Ka ngana koe ki te whakauru atu ki tō oranga noa, engari kei te mau tonu te mamae o tō ngākau. Ka pōuri koe, ka kore he āwhina, ā, ka ngaro te whakapono ki a koe anō. Ka pātai koe ki a koe anō, ka tīmata ki te whakapono he hē tōu.

He aha te take e hiahia ai te tangata ki te pā anō ki tēnā, tika? Ko te pātai hei pātai, ehara i te mea he aha te hē? Me pātai koe ki a koe anō me pēhea te noho tawhiti atu i te aroha.

He hononga tō te aroha me te mamae – he pono rawa tēnā?

He rite te aroha ki te huaketo, ā, i muri i tōna hopukanga i a koe, ka waiho tō ao kia pōuri. Mā te aroha koe e harikoa ai, e tino ora ai, ā, i te wā anō ka pōuri ai, ka pōuri ai hoki. Ka uru koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga me te whakaaro kua kitea e koe tētahi hei whakahari i a koe, tae noa ki te wā... kua mutu te wā honiI muri i te wā marena hou, ko te mea anake e whai ake nei ko te mooni, ā, ehara i te mea ataahua. E hiahia ana koe ki ngā wā harikoa engari e ahua haere ana, e tawhiti haere ana i te roanga o te wā. I muri mai i tētahi wā harikoa, ka puta he pakanga, he pouri, he ruarua ki a koe anō. E haere tahi ana te aroha me te mamae? Ae ra! Whakaarohia me hoki anō koe ki roto i tēnei āhuatanga. Kaua e aroha mēnā ko te tikanga he waiho kau noa iho koe i roto. Kaua e mamae te aroha.

Nā, me pēhea te karo i te aroha? E waru ngā huarahi whai hua ka hoatu e mātou ki a koe.

Pānui e pā ana: Kia pēhea te tere ka taea e koe te tīmata anō ki te whakaipoipo i muri i te wehenga?

8 nga huarahi ki te noho mawehe atu i te aroha me te karo i te mamae?

I muri i tō hokinga ki te āhua noa, ka kitea anō e koe tētahi. He ātaahua ia, he manaaki, ā, kua kahakina koe e ia. Ka rongo koe i te kaha o te mana e kukume ana i a koe ki a ia, engari kāore koe e hiahia kia hoki anō ki taua āhuatanga. Nō reira, me pēhea te kore e kukume ki tētahi? Me pēhea te mutu te aroha ki tētahi kāore e taea e koe te whiwhi? Ā, ko te mea nui ake, me pēhea te kore e aroha? Mā mātou e kōrero ki a koe me pēhea.

1. Arotahi ki a koe ano

Arotahi ki ngā mea e hiahia ana koe i te ao. Whakaarohia te tangata i mua i tō urunga ki tēnei raruraru aroha. Kia maumahara ki ō whāinga, arā, ō whāinga whaiaro me ō whāinga mahi, ā, hangaia he mahere mō te whakatutuki i aua whāinga. Hangaia he rārangi o ō whāinga katoa, ā, whakaritea kia rite ki tēnā me pēhea e hiahia ana koe ki te whakatutuki i aua whāinga. Whakaarohia ngā mea e hari ai koe, me te take i mutu ai koe i te mahi i aua whāinga. Ehara i te mea ka noho noa koe i ngā mamae o te aroha, engari ka mutu hoki ka mahi koe i tētahi mea pai ake māu ake.

Kimihia anō koe.

2. Whakahauhia te wa ki o hoa aroha

Ko ō whānau tonu te hunga i noho tonu ki tō taha i ngā wā pai, i ngā wā uaua. Ahakoa te nui o tō wehenga atu i a rātou, ka noho tonu rātou hei tautoko i a koe. Hei karo i te tūtaki ki ngā tāngata hou, ā, hei karo i te aroha, he pai ake te whai wā ki a rātou, me te whakapau i te wā kounga. Mā tēnei koe e āwhina ki te whakaora i tō whanaungatanga o mua, ā, ka kitea e koe te aroha me te hunga e tino whai tikanga ana ki tō ao.

3. Whakawhanaunga ki tō Rōpū Kōtiro

Ki te whai koe i te roopu kotiro Kei te kaha haere tēnā, e kore rawa koe e hiahia ki tētahi tāne i roto i tō ao. Kei reira tonu tō rōpū kōtiro hei ārai i a koe kei hinga i te aroha. Kia tino mōhio kei roto i tō rōpū kōtiro he wahine takakau, ki te kore ka taka anō koe ki te mahanga aroha. Noho tahi me tō rōpū kōtiro, kia kaha te aro ki ngā tāne, kia titiro ki ngā tāne i te pae. Whakaipoipo ki ngā tāne mēnā e hiahia ana koe, engari kaua e kahakina.

4. Tāhuna koe ki te mahi

He aha te mahi anake? Tāpuia koe ki roto i ngā mea katoa e ārai ana i a koe i te aroha. Mā te noho pukumahi koe e whakararuraru i a koe, ā, mā tō hinengaro e ārai i a koe ki te karanga i a koe anō he tangata e aroha ana ki a koe. Mā te arotahi ki tāu mahi ka āwhina i a koe ki te pupuri i tō hinengaro kia tahuri ki tētahi mea hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakapakari i tō whakapono ki a koe anō i roto i te wā. Ka matara atu koe i te aroha, ā, ka tino angitu koe i roto i tō oranga mahi.

Pānui e pā ana: Kia pēhea te roa o te wā e ngaro ai te aroha?

5. Tūhurahia ōu hiahia

Ka taea e koe te whiwhi i te nui o te harikoa mā te whakaoho anō i ō hiahia me ō mahi whakangahau. Haunga tēnā, e kore koe e aroha nā te mea ka pukumahi koe i a koe anō. Nōnahea te wā whakamutunga i peita ai koe i tētahi mea, i pupuri rānei i tō kitā? Hoki atu ki te wā i whai wāhi ai koe ki ō mahi whakangahau, kaua ki ngā whanaungatanga uaua. Ki te kore āu mahi whakangahau, ki te pōhēhē rānei, ngana ki te whakawhanake i ngā mahi whakangahau hou. Whakamātauria ngā mea hou pēnei i te tunu kai, te yoga, tētahi mea rānei i hiahia koe ki te whakamātau mai i te wā roa. Akohia tētahi mea hou, kia pukumahi koe, ā, kia matara atu i te aroha.

6. Whakatenatenahia koe anō

Hei matara atu i te aroha, me whakamanawanui koe i a koe anō ki te kino o te aroha ki a koe. Kia maumahara ki te mamae i pā ki a koe i roto i tō whanaungatanga o mua, ā, whakamāramahia ō whakaaro. Whakapaua he wā mokemoke, whakaarohia tēnei wāhanga o tō oranga. Kaua e tere. Haere ki tētahi wāhi mokemoke e karapotia ana e te taiao. Mā tēnā ka āwhina i a koe ki te kohikohi i ō whakaaro.
Ki te tino whakapono koe ko te karo i te aroha te kōwhiringa pai rawa atu māu, ka taea e koe te neke atu i te aroha ka anga atu ki a koe anō.

Pānui e pā ana: He aha ngā mea kāore e tika ana kia mahia i muri i te wehenga?

7. Tīmata ki te kite i te rerekētanga

Nā te mea kua takakau anō koe, tirohia te rerekētanga o tō oranga me te kore he tāne i roto i tō oranga. Ae, ka noho mokemoke i ētahi wā, inā koa ka kite koe i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e karapoti ana i a koe. Engari tirohia ō kare ā-roto. Ka kite koe he harikoa ake koe i roto. He iti ake ngā raruraru i roto i tō oranga, ā, ka noho māhorahora ake tō oranga. Ā, ko te mea pai rawa atu, ka taea e koe te whakapau i ō moni katoa ki a koe anō. Ka taea e koe te moe marie me te mōhio kāore he tangata e tinihanga i a koe.

8. Aroha ki a koe ano

Ko te huarahi tino nui hei karo i te mamae o te aroha ko te tīmata ki te aroha ki a koe anō. Ki te aroha koe ki a koe anō mai i roto, kāore koe e hiahia ki te rapu aroha ki tētahi atu wāhi. Ka tino rite koe nā te mea e whakapono ana koe ki a koe anō. Ko te nuinga o te tangata ka uru ki ngā whanaungatanga kino nā te kore whakapono ki a ia anō, te ruarua ki a ia anō, me te whakaaro kāore i te tika mō tētahi atu. Ka puta tēnei nā te mea kāore te tangata e aroha ki a rātou anō. Kia tīmata te tangata ki te aroha ki a rātou anō, ka harikoa ake, ka makona. Ka kitea e rātou ko rātou anō, ā, ka puta mai ō rātou tuakiri tūturu. Ka kitea e rātou ngā mea mō rātou anō kāore i mōhiotia i mua.

E ki ana te whakatauki, "Aroha ki a koe anō, ā, ka whai mai ngā mea katoa."

Ka whakautua e ngā kōrero o runga ake nei tāu pātai mō te pehea e matara atu ai i te aroha. Nā te mea kua mōhio koe ki te tikanga o te matara atu i te aroha, ahakoa he tangata e hiahia ana koe ki a ia, kua mōhio koe ki te aha me mahi. Mā te noho i roto i ngā whanaungatanga kino ka paitini noa koe i roto. He mea nui kia arotahi ki ngā mea e mau tonu ana i roto i tō koiora pērā i ō hoa, tō whānau, me te mahi, kaua ki ngā whanaungatanga e haere mai ana me te rā paunga, ka arahi ki ngā tau maha o te mamae me te wikitoria. Nō reira, me matara atu i te aroha, kaua hoki e tukua a Kupita kia patu i a koe ki tana pere.

Mō ētahi atu ataata tohunga, ohauru mai ki tā mātou Hongere Youtube. Pāwhiri ki konei.

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