I muri i te maha o ngā wā whakatā, kua kite tātou katoa i a tātou anō e tūtaki ana ki te pātai nui – He aha tātou? Kei hea tātou? He uaua pea te whakautu i ēnei pātai.
Tērā pea ka pātai koe "Kei te whakaipoipo tāua?" Engari i te wā anō, kāore e taea te karo i te whakaaro mēnā kei te whakaipoipo tāua. Āe, kaua e manukanuka. Anei ngā tohu 12 me kōrero koe INĀIANEI!
Tērā pea kei te pōhēhē koe mēnā me tīmata te kaupapa, kāore rānei, kei te raru koe me pēhea te whakaara ake. Ka memeha haere ēnei raruraru e rua ina mutu tāu pānui tahi me mātou i konei.
Kei te whakaipoipo tāua? 12 ngā tohu e kī ana kei te whakaipoipo noa kōrua
Ripanga o Ihirangi
He uaua ki te kite i ngā tohu kei te piripono koe, kāore anō kia mana. Tērā pea kei te mahi tahi kōrua i ngā mea katoa e mahia ana e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine, ahakoa he hoko kai, he haere rānei ki te kiriata. Engari anō, mā te huna i muri i te tapanga "hoa pai" ka taea e kōrua te tinihanga.
Hei tāpiri, kāore anō kia tino mārama te rerekētanga i waenga i te whakaipoipo noa me te "noho noa iho". Ka taea e ngā hoa te haere whakaipoipo? Ki te pērā, kua "whakaipoipo noa" kē pea rātou, kāore i te mōhio, tika?
He wāhi kei waenganui i te whakahoahoa tata/te whakahoahoa whakakatakata me te whanaungatanga. Ko tēnei wāhi tūpono he mea e pai ana ahau ki te kī ko 'Te Wāhi o te Pōhēhētanga'. Kāore he mea e tino mārama ana i konei, nō reira, ka taea e tetahi mea te tupu.
He mea whakamiharo te nui o ngā mea ka taea i roto i te Arena of Ambiguity. Tērā pea ka pai rawa atu ngā mea, ka pōuri rawa atu rānei. Kei a koe te tikanga mō te whakahaere i te Arena – engari ka tohutohu atu ahau kia kaua e roa rawa te noho ki reira.
Ko te hiahia o nāianei ki te aroha kāore he tapanga he mea e ngana ana ahau ki te mārama, engari he wā noa iho ka pai rawa te noho tahi a ngā tāne me ngā wāhine, ā, kāore e taea te piripono! Ki te hiahia koe ki te wehe atu i te Arena, ā, e tumanako ana ki te tautuhi i tō whanaungatanga – kāore au e tatari kia tatari koe. Koinei ngā tohu 12 kei te whakaipoipo kore mana koe. Ka kī atu rātou ki a koe mēnā me pātai koe, "Kei te whakaipoipo tāua?!"
1. E whakaaro ana te tangata kei te noho tahi kōrua
Ina haere tahi kōrua, ka kī atu rānei ētahi tāngata tauhou he tino ātaahua kōrua? Tērā pea kua whakaaro ō hoa mahi kei te whakaipoipo kōrua. Tērā rānei, kei te pohehetia kōrua he hoa aroha ina haere kōrua ki te kai.
Ae, ehara i te tohu kua noho tahi kōrua, engari ki te tawai mai ō hoa ki a kōrua mō te noho tahi tonu , tera pea he āhuatanga kei reira. I te nuinga o te wā, ko ō hoa te hunga tuatahi ki te kite i te āhua o te whanaungatanga i waenganui i a kōrua.
He mārama ake ki te hunga e karapoti ana i a koe ō tauira. Ki te kite te iwi i te hononga porangi i waenganui i a kōrua – he aha tāu e tatari atu nei? He tohu tino pono tēnei kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga, ā, kāore koe i te mōhio.
2. E mōhio ana tō whānau ki a rātou (me te rerekētanga)
Mena kua maha ngā wā kua tūtaki kōrua ki ngā mātua o tētahi ki tētahi, ā, kua kī atu kei te pai te whanaungatanga, kāore kōrua e "noho tahi" ana, ā, kua hipa kē atu i taua wā. Ka rongo tō māmā i a koe e whakahua pinepine ana i a rāua, ā, tera pea ka whakaae ia!
I tukuna mai e tō rāua pāpā he tono hoa ki runga i a Pukamata? Kei te tatari atu anō hoki ia kia anga whakamua kōrua tokorua. Ko ngā mātua te hunga e mōhio ana – whakarongo ki a rātou. Hei tāpiri, ina tīmata ō mātua ki te tawai i a koe mō te noho tahi tonu me tēnei tangata, he pai ake te whakaaro he tohu tēnei kei te piripono kē koe. Ka taea e rātou te rongo i tēnā mai i tawhiti, engari kāore pea koe i te mōhio.
Ki te mea kei te pōhēhē rawa koe i a koe e ngana ana ki te whakautu i te pātai, "Kei te whakaipoipo tāua, kei te noho tahi rānei tāua?", me pātai atu pea ki ō mātua he aha ō rāua whakaaro mō tēnei tangata. Mā te reo e kōrerotia ana e rātou ka mōhio koe ki ngā mea katoa e hiahia ana koe ki te mōhio.
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3. He nui rawa te wā e noho tahi ana kōrua, he tino wairangi
E rua tekau mā whā hāora ia rā, whitu rā ia wiki kei a kōrua tonu. Heoi anō, kei te hiahia tonu koe ki te pātai "Kei te whakaipoipo tāua?" Haunga te nui o te wā, he tino piripono hoki te kounga. Tērā pea kua mahi kē kōrua i ngā mahi a te tokorua pēnei i te kai parakuihi, te haere i ngā waka roa, te hikoi i te takutai moana…
Ki te titiro te tangata mai i waho ki roto, ka whakaaro noa rātou kei roto koe i tētahi hononga nui. Ae, he nui te wā e noho tahi ana ngā hoa pai, engari kāore i te hono tonu i te hope. Kotahi te taahiraa e tata atu ana kōrua ki te noho tahi i te tere e haere ana kōrua. He tohu katoa ēnei kei te whakaipoipo kore mana kōrua.
4. E mōhio ana kōrua ki ngā porowhita hoa o tētahi ki tētahi
Ā, ka mihi atu ō hoa ki a kōrua! He mea noa ngā kōrero huna, ngā whakatoi rānei ina puta te ingoa o te tangata i roto i te kōrero. Kua tūtaki kōrua ki ngā hoa pai o tētahi ki tētahi, ā, kei te tuku karere kuputuhi pea kōrua.
Tērā pea kei te aro atu ēnei hoa ki te whanaketanga o tō kōrua whanaungatanga, me te mea he kiriata whakaari noa iho. E mōhio ana pea rātou he nui atu i te hoa noa iho kōrua, ā, e kitea ana tō kōrua whanaungatanga e te katoa engari ko koe anake. Kaua e miharo mēnā ka kī mai ō hoa "I kī atu ahau ki a koe" mēnā ka mutu ko kōrua te whakaipoipo.
5. Ka rere tonu i roto i tō hinengaro
Āe… ā, ka puta mai te mea tūturu. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu tino pono kei roto koe i tētahi hononga, engari kāore koe i te mōhio. I ngā wā katoa e tata ana ahau ki te whakaipoipo i tētahi, ka kitea e au kei te aro nui ahau ki ō rātou whakaaro… Te Wā Katoa! Ā, he tino kaha! Ina aroha koe ki tētahi, ka pāngia koe e tētahi mea ōrite.
Ki te mea kei te rapu koe i ngā tohu kei te whakaipoipo kore mana kōrua, ā, kua angitu koe ki te huna i ō kanohi ki ngā katakata katoa a ō hoa mō kōrua, ka kitea e koe te whakautu i roto i tōu ake mahunga. E hia ngā wā ka whakaaro koe ki tēnei tangata i te awatea? Tērā pea kua mōhio kē koe ki te nui o tāu e whakaaro ana ki tēnei tangata.
Ahakoa he mea ahuareka te whakararuraru i te moemoeā, ka whakamahara ahau i a au anō me pātai atu ahau – kei te whakaipoipo tāua? Engari ki taku whakaaro kua mōhio kē koe ki taku e kōrero nei. (*ka kimo*)
He Pānui e Pā Ana: Kei te Aroha Ahau ki taku Hoa Pai? 15 Ngā Tohu e Whakaatu Ana i te Pēnā!
6. Ko kōrua te tangata e piripono ana tetahi ki tetahi
He tino ātaahua tēnei. He tino pai ki ahau ina ko ngā hoa rangatira pea ko ngā tāngata e whakawhirinaki ana tātou ki a rātou. Tērā pea ka whiwhi rātou i ngā whakahōutanga nui katoa o tō rā, ā, kāore he raruraru kāore e taea e rātou te āwhina ki te whakaoti.
Ko tēnei whakapono tahi kei a kōrua tētahi o ngā tohu tino ataahua kei te whakaipoipo noa kōrua. Kei roto i tō kōrua whanaungatanga ngā āhuatanga katoa e arahi ai ki te harikoa me te aroha.
Mena ko tō hoa aroha te tangata e whakawhirinaki ana koe, me pātai atu koe ki te pātai nui; "He hoa noa iho tāua, he hoa noa iho rānei?" engari me tūpato tonu koe ki te mahi i tēnā. Ae, mā te kaha ki te whakapuaki i ō whakaaro ki tētahi, tera pea he tohu kei te "neke atu i te hoa noa iho" kōrua, engari tera pea ka kite noa ia i a kōrua he hoa noa iho, kāore he mea kē atu.
Nō reira, ki te mea kei te kaha rawa koe ki te hopu i ngā tohu kei te whakaipoipo koe, me te kore e mōhio, ka taea e koe te tuku i te whanaungatanga o te kare ā-roto kia whanake i tōna āhua o nāianei. Ki te kitea, tera pea, kāore koe e hiahia ki te pātai tetahi ki tetahi pēnei i te, "Kei te whakaipoipo tāua, kei te noho tahi rānei tāua?" ā, ka tau ngā mea katoa ki tōna āhua.
7. Kei te rapu kaha koe i ngā take hei noho tahi me rātou
I wareware noa koe i tō rihi i tō rātou wāhi? I hiahia ohorere rānei koe ki te aihikirīmi mai i tētahi wāhi e tata ana ki tō rātou whare. (Kāo, kāore anō kia mahia e au tētahi o ēnei mea, kati te whakararuraru i ahau.)
Kua rite pea te taraiwa ki tō rāua whare i ia rā, i ia rā, ki tētahi tikanga noa iho, ā, e mōhio ana koe kei te tīmatanga tētahi hononga nui.
Ki te kore e kitea e koe he take hei kite i a rātou, ka hangaia e koe tētahi. E mōhio ana ahau ki tēnei, e mōhio ana koe ki tēnei, ā, e mōhio ana hoki rātou. Kua roa rawa tō aroha harakore ki tō hoa . Whakaaetia noa kāore kōrua e noho tahi noa ana.
8. Ko te whakaaro kei a rātou me tētahi atu ka huri koe hei taniwha kanohi kakariki
Nā, me whakamārama atu ahau i tētahi mea - ehara i te mea ka huri koe hei tangata haurangi, ki tonu i te riri, hei kararehe. Ko taku tikanga, ko te whakaaro kei te piri tahi rātou me tētahi - ahakoa ko wai - ka whakamā koe. He tohu tēnei whakamā - he tohu kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga, ā, kāore koe i te mōhio.
Ka whakawhirinaki koe ki a rātou kāore e titiro ki tētahi atu wāhi, engari ki te pā atu tētahi tangata ātaahua ki a rātou, ka pīata tonu ō kanohi. Ka akiaki atu ahau kia pātai atu koe ki a rātou (nā te mea kua tae ki te wā), "Kei te whakaipoipo tāua, e te ipo?"
Pānui e pā ana: 12 Ngā Tohu e kī ana kei te aroha tō hoa pai ki a koe
9. Ko koe te putanga pai rawa atu (me te tino pono) o koe i a rātou
Koinei te mihi tino pai rawa atu ka taea e koe te tuku ki tētahi tangata – te pono. Kei te tuku koe i a koe kia noho ngoikore i a rātou, ka hoatu ki a rātou he tirohanga ki tō āhua tūturu. He tohu pono tēnei kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga me te kore e mōhio.
Whakaarohia, ina he hoa koe me tētahi, i ētahi wā ka taea e koe te karo i te kōrero i ētahi mea nā te mea kāore koe i te tino mōhio me pēhea tā rātou tauhohe. Engari ina he uaua ake tō tūnga whanaungatanga ki tēnei tangata i te "hoa noa iho," kāore pea koe e whakaaro ana ki ngā mea papaku. Kua tino pai rawa atu koe ki a rātou - i te taha tinana me te taha hinengaro.
Kāore e taea te whakaahua i te nui o te whakawhirinaki e hiahiatia ana. Mēnā i rapu koe i ngā tohu tino pai kei te piripono koe ki tētahi, kāore e kitea ana i tua atu i te kaha ki te noho ko koe tonu i mua i tēnei tangata. Me kī noa atu me tere tonu te hui tahi kōrua!
10. Kāore koe e aro nui ana ki ētahi atu tāngata i roto i te aroha
Kua ngaro ō taupānga whakaipoipo, ā, ka whakahē koe i tētahi tangata ataahua e whakatata mai ana ki a koe. Kāore he hononga, he moe pō kotahi rānei ka pouri koe i muri mai . He aha te take? Nā te mea kei te whakarite koe i a koe anō ki te tautuhi i tō whanaungatanga.
Ā, me pēhea rā koe e kimi ai i te wā mō ētahi atu whanaungatanga aroha, i te mea kei te noho tahi kōrua ko tēnei tangata? Ae, ko te noho tahi me tētahi i te wā roa ehara i te tohu kua noho tahi kōrua, engari i roto i tō ngākau, kua mōhio kē koe ki te whakautu ki te pātai, "He hoa noa iho tāua, he hoa noa iho rānei?"
11. Kāore e taea te whakaaro te ora me te kore rātou
Mā te noho tahi me te hunga e arohaina ana ka tukuna ngā homoni harikoa pērā i te serotonin e pā ana ki tō tātou oranga. Ka noho ēnei tāngata hei wāhanga nui o ō tātou oranga, ā, kāore e taea e tātou te whakaaro ka taea e tātou te noho i te rā me te kore rātou.
I te mutunga o tētahi rā roa i te mahi, ka menemene mai rānei te whakaaro kia taea e koe te noho tahi me tēnei tangata? Kāore koe e hiahia kia noho hei tohunga whanaungatanga kia mōhio ai koe koinei tētahi o ngā tohu kei te whakaipoipo koe, engari kāore anō kia mōhio. Mena he mea whakamataku te whakaaro mō tōna ngaro, kei konei ahau ki te kī atu me kōrero koe inaianei!
Pānui e pā ana: 20 Ngā Tohu e Hiahia Ana Ia ki te Nui Atu i Tō Hoa, Kaua ki te Hononga Noa
12. Ko te nuinga o ō mahere ā muri ake nei kei roto i te pikitia
Ehara i te mahere mō te marena me te whānau tamariki. Āe! He whakanui, he mahere mō te mutunga wiki, he hararei rānei. He hararei aroha pea ki ngā Bahamas, he haerenga puni mō te pō rānei i roto i te ngahere. Mō ngā marama e 5-6 e whai ake nei o tō oranga, he tino mahi nui tā rātou. Kia rite ki te pātai, "Kei te whakaipoipo tāua?"
Ki te kore koe i whakaaro mō te wā roa, me whakaaro ki te wā waenga. Kei roto rātou i tēnei, kāore? Āe… i whakaaro ahau pēnā!
E kite ana koe, kāore koe e hiahia ki te moe tahi noa iho kia nui atu i te noho hoa noa iho. I te katoa, ki taku whakaaro kua mārama koe i tēnei rārangi i rapua e koe. E hia ngā pouaka i tohua e koe? Kei te whakaatu koe i te neke atu i te 5 tohu kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga me te kore e mōhio? Tēnā, tēnā, tēnā, tīmata ki te whakaaro mēnā kei te whakaipoipo koe, he hoa noa iho rānei.
Kia kite koe i ngā tohu e whakaatu ana kei te whakaipoipo koe, ko te wāhanga e whai ake nei me whakaaro koe me aha. Me neke atu tātou ki te wāhanga tuarua o te whakaoti rapanga!
Nā…Me pēhea te whakaara ake?
Ka rongo au i ngā whakaaro e rere ana i roto i tōu mahunga, ā, ka mea atu ahau kia ata noho koe. Ahakoa te āhua uaua o tēnei mahi o te tautuhi i tō whanaungatanga, ka taea te whakatutuki mā te āwhina iti. Kei konei ahau hei āwhina.
Kāore e taea e koe te haere atu ki tō hoa/hoa pea/te hoa, ka karanga "KEI TE WHAKATAETAE TĀUA, HE HOA NOA RĀNEI?" Ā, he maha ngā whakaaro o te wahine i mua i te whakaae. Ka whai tātou i tēnei taahiraa i ia taahiraa.
1. Tuatahi, whakaarohia ngā mea katoa!
Ko te mārama ki a koe anō te taahiraa tuatahi ki te whakaoti rapanga whanaungatanga. Ka taea e te harikoa o te whakaipoipo kāore i te mana te taumaha rawa atu nā te mea e pai ana koe ki te aro e whiwhi ana koe. Kua tae ki te wā kia noho koe ki raro ka pātai atu mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga roa i tēnei wā tonu.
Kei te wāhi tika koe hei whakapuaki i tō oranga ki tētahi? He hapa nui te hohoro o te kōrero, ā, me karo i tēnā. Nō reira, i mua i tō kōrero ki a rātou, kōrero ki a koe anō.
Pānui e pā ana: Kāore i te tino mōhio ki tētahi whanaungatanga? Kimihia tāu e hiahia ana mā ēnei pātai 19
2. Pātai atu ētahi pātai nui: He pai mō te katoa? He pai rānei mō te hauora?
I mua i tō pātai atu, "Kei te whakaipoipo tāua?", me whakautu koe i ētahi atu pātai i te tuatahi. I a koe e arotake ana i ngā tohu 12 e hiahia ana koe ki te kōrero - i whakaaro noa koe? I aro noa rānei koe ki ō kare ā-roto?
Kia tino mohio kei te rite te hiahia ki a koe, ā, kaua e whakaaro noa ki ngā mea kāore i te tīariari. He hapa tēnei e pā ana ki tōku tuakana aroha, ā, kua hoha ahau ki te kī atu ki a ia kia kaua e pērā.
Whakaarohia hoki mēnā he pai te whanaungatanga o kōrua. He aroha noa iho rānei, he aroha rānei ? He pai te uru atu ki tētahi whanaungatanga mō kōrua? Nā kōrua te whakatau mēnā he pai te mahi tahi a kōrua, kāore rānei.
3. Kia pono, kia tika hoki tō huarahi
He whakamataku pea te tīmata i ēnei momo kōrero, engari kaua e kōrero pōhewa. Kia tika, kia tika hoki te kōrero – “He hoa noa iho rānei tāua?”, “Kei hea tāua e whakaaro ana ki te haere o tēnei?”, “Ki tō whakaaro kua tae ki te wā kia tautuhia tō tāua whanaungatanga?”
He mea nui te pono, nā te mea he pānga nui tō te tangata e whakaipoipo ana tātou ki ō tātou oranga. Me whakamōhio atu ki tēnei tangata ngā mea katoa i kitea e koe i a koe e rapu ana i ngā tohu kāore anō kia whakaipoipohia e kōrua, ā, kia tupato kia kaua e huna ō kare ā-roto. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te tīmata i tētahi hononga hou i runga i te kore mārama, kei moe noa iho kōrua, ā, ka nui ake te uaua o te mahi.
4. Kaua e wehi i ngā hua – whakapuakina katoatia
E rua ngā huarahi mārama ka puta ai tēnei kōrero. Mā kōrua e whakatau kia piripono ā-ture, mā kōrua rānei e wehe. Ko tētahi take noa e kore ai te iwi e kōrero mō tēnei kōrero, he 'kāore rātou e hiahia ki te whakakino i te āhua o ngā mea o nāianei'.
Ki te mea kua rite koe mō tētahi whanaungatanga motuhake , me whakamātau koe. Kia mahara ka ora te mamae o te ngākau (mā mātou e āwhina) engari kāore e taea te noho roa ki te Ao o te Pōhēhē. Kaua e wehi i te mutunga – kōrerotia ngā mea katoa kei roto i tō hinengaro.
5. Kia ōrite te whai wāhi mai o te katoa ki te kōrero
Kāore he painga o te kōrero taha-kotahi. Kia tino whai wāhi ōrite rātou ki te kōrero. Kōrerohia ngā tohu katoa e whakaatu ana kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga, ahakoa kāore koe e mōhio. Tukua rātou kia whakapuaki i ō rātou whakaaro me ō rātou feaa.
He rite te hiranga o te whakarongo ki te whai wāhi! Kaua e whakanui i tō reo, kaua hoki e riri – kei roto kōrua i te kapa kotahi nā te mea ko te mea pai rawa atu mā kōrua e hiahia ana.
He rite tonu ki tā Trent Shelton i kī ai, " Ko te tikanga o te whanaungatanga he mahi tahi kōrua hei whakapai ake i te whanaungatanga. Ehara i te mea ko kōrua anake te mea nui, ehara hoki i te mea ko rāua anake te mea nui. Ko te whanaungatanga te mea nui."
Āe, koinei te huarahi. He tino māmā noa iho, tika? He pono tōku whakapono ki a koe, ā, e mōhio ana ahau ka taea e koe te mahi!
Ngā mihi nui ki a koe mō te kōrero ka kōrerohia e kōrua… Kua tae ki te wā hei poroporoaki ki te Arena of Ambiguity.
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
