He uaua tonu ngā whanaungatanga. Ina huihui ngā tāngata e rua ki te tīmata i tētahi haerenga tahi, he pono ka puta he pakanga, he whakahē, he piki me he heke. Heoi, ina kitea koe i roto i tētahi āhuatanga kāore koe i te mōhio ki tō tūnga me tētahi hoa piripono, ka huri taua hononga ki te rohe o tētahi whanaungatanga uaua.
Ahakoa he hononga hou tō kōrua, he hononga roa rānei, kei te raru kōrua i tētahi whārite aroha tino uaua mēnā kei te raru kōrua i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ngoikore, te kore rohe, te kore e ōrite ngā tumanakohanga me ngā whāinga. Ka roa te noho o tētahi tokorua i roto i tēnei āhua o te koretake, ka nui ake te pānga ki tō rāua hauora hinengaro me te oranga ngākau.
Koia te mea nui kia mōhio ki ngā tohu o ngā whanaungatanga uaua, kia mārama hoki ki te huarahi hei whakatau i aua tohu. Me ngā whakaaro mai i te kaiwhakaora hinengaro a Tākuta Aman Bhonsle (Ph.D., PGDTA), he tohunga ki te tohutohu whanaungatanga me te Whakaora Whanoke Ā-roto, kia mārama tātou ki te tikanga o te whanaungatanga uaua, me pēhea hoki te whakahaere i aua tohu me te pūkenga.
He aha te whanaungatanga uaua?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Ina kitea te tangata i roto i ngā whanaungatanga uaua ki te tautuhi, ki te whakauru rānei ki roto i te pouaka o ngā whanaungatanga e mōhiotia ana e tātou, ka whakautu rātou me te kī, "He uaua." "Ahakoa he rerekē ngā āhuatanga motuhake i ia āhuatanga, ko te tikanga o te whanaungatanga uaua koia tēnei: he hononga uaua ki te tautuhi nā te mea he rerekē ngā rohe me ngā tumanakohanga o te hunga kei roto, ā, he maha ngā wā ka taupatupatu," te kī a Tākuta Bhonsle.
Nā te mea kāore ngā whāinga me ngā tumanakohanga e ōrite ana, he nui ngā mahi whakamātau, ā, he iti noa iho te tuwhera i roto i ēnei whanaungatanga. Ko te mutunga iho he maha ngā wāhi pōuri ka tukuna e ngā hoa tetahi ki tetahi. tohu whakauru, tākaro wera, tākaro makariri, me te uaua ki ngā tapanga. Ko te mutunga? He maha ngā whakapoauau, ngā manukanuka, me te āwangawanga ka waiho koe kia whakaaro, "He aha te uaua o ngā whanaungatanga?"
Te pānui e pā ana: Te Pakanga Mana i roto i ngā Hononga - Te Huarahi Tika hei Whakatau i tēnei
He aha te mea e uaua ai te whanaungatanga
I a ia e kōrero ana mō ngā mea e uaua ai ngā whanaungatanga, e kī ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "He maha ngā paparanga me ngā uauatanga o ngā whanaungatanga tangata, engari ehara i te mea he uaua tonu. Ina whakamahia e ngā tāngata e rua kua pakeke te kare ā-roto te pono me te tuwhera, ka taea e rātou te hanga he whanaungatanga hauora"I te korenga o ēnei kaupapa matua, ka tīmata te puta o ngā raruraru."
E ai ki tāu i kite ai, te āhua nei kei te puta tonu mai tētahi kaupapa: ko te kore o te pono me te māramatanga me te kore e taurite ngā tumanakohanga, ngā whāinga me ngā uara matua, ka hua ake he uauatanga o ngā whanaungatanga. I runga i tēnei māramatanga, me titiro tātou ki ētahi āhuatanga e whakauaua ai ngā whanaungatanga:
- Ngā patunga kare ā-roto kāore anō kia ora: Ko ngā whanaketanga uaua o te whanaungatanga ka taea te whai i ngā tauira whanonga raruraru e ahu mai ana i ngā patunga kare ā-roto o mua kāore anō kia ora. Ko ngā take whakarērea, te wehi o te piripono, me ngā momo piripono koretake ētahi o ngā take noa i muri i te hanganga o tētahi whanaungatanga wero.
- Ngā kare ā-roto kua pehia: Te kore e taea Ko te kore rānei e pai ki te whakapuaki i ngā kare ā-roto tētahi atu take e mau ai te tangata i roto i ngā whanaungatanga uaua. I te nuinga o te wā, ko te hua tēnei o tō ngoikore i whakamahia i mua. Ahakoa he tikanga tiaki taiao te noho puku i roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ka ārai i tō kaha ki te hanga hononga hauora.
- Kaore i te whakaarokore: Ki te kore koe e tino mōhio ki ō kare ā-roto mō tētahi hoa, ka uaua haere te whanaungatanga. Koinei te mea e arahi ana ki ngā huringa paitini pēnei i te ngā whanaungatanga anō-anō-anō
- Ngā āhuatanga: I ētahi wā, ko ngā raruraru o tētahi whanaungatanga ka puta mai i ō āhuatanga, i ētahi āhuatanga o waho rānei. Hei tauira, te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga tawhiti, te aroha ki tētahi i a koe e noho pūmau ana, ngā kare ā-roto kotahi-taha.
11 Ngā Tohu o ngā Hononga Uaua
He maha ngā wā, ina kei roto tātou i te uauatanga o tētahi āhuatanga, he uaua ki te titiro matatau atu. Ahakoa kei te kitea tonutia ngā tohu o te whanaungatanga uaua, tērā pea kāore koe e kite i aua tohu, kāore rānei koe e hiahia ki te kite. Heoi, kāore e pumau tēnei whakakorekore, tēnei kuware rānei. I muri i tētahi wā, ka tīmata tō āhua whanaungatanga uaua ki te ngau i tō rangimarie o te hinengaro me te oranga ngākau. Ka hoha koe ki te pātai, "He aha te uaua o ngā whanaungatanga? "
He whakaohooho tēnei kua tae ki te wā kia mutu te huna i ō raruraru ki raro i te whāriki, kia aro atu ki a rātou. Ko te taahiraa tuatahi ki te aro atu ki tētahi raruraru ko te whakaae ki a ia. Hei āwhina i a koe ki te mahi i tēnā, ka whakarārangihia e Tākuta Bhonsle ngā tohu e whai ake nei o ngā whanaungatanga uaua:
1. Kāore koe i te tino mōhio ki ō rātou whakaaro mōu
Ko te kore māramatanga tētahi o ngā tohu matua o ngā whanaungatanga uaua. Kāore koe i te tino mōhio ki ngā whakaaro o tō hoa mōu. Ā, ehara i te mea ko ngā whanaungatanga hou anake tēnei, ina kāore anō kia tautuhia te whanaungatanga, kia whakaaetia rānei ngā tapanga. I roto i tētahi whanaungatanga uaua, ka taea e koe te pēnei te āhua ahakoa kua roa kōrua e noho tahi ana. Tērā pea nā te mea,
- Kāore tō hoa whakaatu aroha
- Kāore rātou e whakamahi i te tuwhera me te ngoikore
- Ki te ngana koe ki te hanga i te whanaungatanga hohonu ake o te kare ā-roto, ka panaia koe e rātou, ka matara, ka noho wehe atu hoki.
2. Kāore koe i te tino mōhio ki ō whakaaro mō rātou
Nā te āhua pea o tō hoa rangatira te wehenga kare Ahakoa ētahi atu take pēnei i te whai kare ā-roto mō tētahi atu, kāore koe e tino hiahia ki tō hoa. Ahakoa pēhea, ka taea e tēnei kore o te tino mohio te huri hei whanaungatanga uaua. "Kaua e whakakorekore i ō kare ā-roto. Mena kei te ngoikore tō whakapono mō te whanaungatanga, he pai ki te titiro atu ki ngā kanohi hou. He pai hoki ki te pātai ki a koe anō me tō hoa i ngā pātai uaua kia kite ai koe me pēhea te haere o ngā mea i roto i te whanaungatanga," te kī a Tākuta Bhonsle.
3. Kāore koe i te tino mōhio mō te heke mai o te whanaungatanga
Te āhua nei he rerekē ngā mea e hiahia ana koe i roto i te ao, ā, e karo ana koe i te kōrero mō tō heke mai. Tērā pea kāore koe e taea te whakaaro i tētahi heke mai me rātou, kāore rānei rātou i te whakaaro ki te pikitia e tuhia ana e koe mō tō heke mai. Tērā pea, ka karohia e tō hoa ngā kōrero mō te heke mai, pērā i te mate urutā. He tohu kino katoa ēnei e whakaatu ana i ngā āhuatanga o ngā whanaungatanga uaua.
"Ki te kore ngā tāngata tokorua e whakaaetia ana e rāua whanaungatanga poto"me tirotirohia anō te whakaroa ki te kōrero mō ngā whāinga ā meake nei. Me tirotiro kōrua tetahi ki tetahi, me te arotake anō i tō kōrua tūnga me tō kōrua hiahia kia anga atu i konei," te kī a Tākuta Bhonsle.
Te pānui e pā ana: Ngā Raru Whakawhitiwhiti Kōrero i roto i ngā Hononga - 11 Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakakore
4. He pai te korero
Ko tētahi atu tohu o tētahi whanaungatanga uaua ko korero kino, e tohuhia ana e,
- Ko te whanonga haruru-ahuru
- Te kōrero tetahi ki tetahi
- Te tapahi tetahi i tetahi
- Te maimoatanga puku me te aukati i te kohatu
- Te kore e taea te whakatau i te pakanga
I tana whakamārama i te take e haere tahi ai ngā whanaungatanga uaua me te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ngoikore, e kī ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "Ina he rerekē te tūnga, ina taupatupatu rānei ngā tumanakohanga, ngā matea, me ngā wawata, ā, i te korenga o ngā rohe hauora, me tumanako ka puta te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero. He whānui katoa ēnei i roto i ngā whanaungatanga uaua."
5. Te kore o te pono
Ko ngā āhuatanga o te aroha uaua o tētahi whanaungatanga uaua ko take herenga rānei he hiahia ki te kōrero mō ngā tapanga, te motuhaketanga, me te whakapau kaha. E kī ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, me tirotiro e koe mēnā kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga i te tuatahi."
"Kua kite pinepine ahau i tēnei mea, arā, kua roa pea te noho tahi a te tokorua, engari ina pātai atu koe ki a rāua ko wai rāua, ka mea rāua, "Āe, kāore anō kia whakatakotoria he tapanga mōna. Āe, he mea nui ngā tapanga. Ki te kore koe e tāpiri i ngā tapanga mō te huka me te tote i roto i tō kīhini, tera pea ka noho te tote ki roto i tō kawhe, me te huka ki roto i tō mīti taro. Koia te hiranga o ēnei kōrero."
6. Te whai wāhi kore taurite ki te oranga o tētahi ki tētahi
Ko te kore rawa, te nui rawa rānei o te whai wāhi atu ki te oranga o tētahi ki tētahi, he tohu ēnei mō tētahi whanaungatanga uaua. Ko ngā whanaungatanga pumau he mea hanga i runga i te te whakawhirinakitanga hauora i waenganui i ngā hoa, e pupuri ana i tō kōrua tuakiri engari e whakawhirinaki ana hoki tetahi ki tetahi hei tautoko. Engari ki te kore kōrua e ngana ki te whakapuaki i ngā hiahia o tetahi ki tetahi, ki te noho tahi rānei, he tohu tēnei mō te wehenga - ka uaua ake ai ō kōrua whanaungatanga hei tokorua.
I tētahi atu taha, mā te nui rawa o te whakawhirinaki tetahi ki tetahi ka uaua ake ngā whanaungatanga. Ki te kore koe e pupuri i ētahi wāhanga o tō oranga kia motuhake tetahi i tetahi, ki te tīmata ki te whakawhirinaki tetahi ki tetahi mō ngā mea e tika ana kia mahia e koe māu ake, ki te kore e mahi i ngā mea māu ake, ki te noho ko koe anake, ki te noho tahi rānei me ō hoa ake, ka tīmata pea koe ki te ngaro i te māramatanga ki te mutunga o tō hoa, me te tīmatanga o koe. Ko tēnei taumata o te hononga, ko te tikanga, ka noho hei wāhi whakatupu raruraru.
7. He mea pumau te pakanga i roto i tō whanaungatanga
Tetahi rahinga o te whawhai i roto i ngā whanaungatanga He mea noa. Heoi, ki te mea he maha rawa ō pakanga mō ngā take iti, tera pea he raruraru nui kei roto, he tohu tēnei o tētahi whanaungatanga uaua. Kua tae ki te wā kia mutu te karo i te take, kia tīmata te whakaaroaro, inā koa mēnā kei te kino haere ngā pakanga, kei te tukino rānei. Kia maumahara, ehara i te mea ko te tukino tinana anake te take. He tohu nui anō hoki te tukino kare ā-roto.
Te pānui e pā ana: 5 Ngā Tohu o te Tūkino Hinengaro me Tūpato Koe, e Whakatūpato ana te Kaiwhakaora Hauora
8. Kāore koe i te harikoa
Ina kore e taea e koe te whakatū hononga tūturu ki tō hoa, ā, kāore hoki koe i te tino mōhio ki tō tūnga me te āhua o tō whanaungatanga ā muri ake nei, he mea maori te puta mai o te kore harikoa me te kore harikoa. Tāpiri atu ki tēnā ko te ngā pakanga tonu me te tawhiti o ngā kare ā-roto, e waiho ana i a koe e whakaaro ana, "He aha te uaua o ngā whanaungatanga?" Mā te mauhere i roto i tēnei huringa ka mimiti i te hari o tō ao, ka waiho koe kia tino pouri i a koe e ngana ana ki te whakatere i te whanaungatanga wero e kitea ana e koe.
9. Kei te hoki tonu koe ki te tauira kotahi
Kua pāngia kōrua e ngā mamae ōrite: te wehenga, ā, te hoki anō ki te whanaungatanga. Tērā pea kei te whakawhirinaki tahi kōrua, ā, kāore e taea te neke atu. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu tino kitea o tētahi whanaungatanga uaua. Ki te kore e pai te whanaungatanga, kua tae ki te wā ki te wawahi i te tauira.
"He mea hoha, he mea kino hoki te hokihoki tonu o ngā tauira whanaungatanga ki ngā rōpū katoa. Kāore he painga o te noho pōuri tonu. Whakaarohia te take e hoki tonu ai koe ki ngā tikanga tawhito, kātahi ka mahi i tetahi mea hei whakaora i a koe anō i tēnei āhua tawhito o te whanaungatanga," te kī a Tākuta Bhonsle.
10. E mataku ana koe ki te whakapuaki i ō tumanakohanga
Ko ngā āhuatanga uaua o te aroha i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga uaua ka waiho pea koe kia manukanuka, kia mataku hoki i te wā e tata ana ki tō hoa. E tumanako ana koe ki ētahi mea mai i a rātou, engari i roto i tōu ngākau, e mōhio ana hoki koe ki tā rātou tauhohenga, nō reira ka ako koe ki te noho puku, ki te horomia te mamae me te pōuri, me te pupuri i te tumanako ka pai ake ngā mea.
Ko te hoa e nui ake ana te aro ki ngā kare ā-roto (āe, he taha-kore tonu ngā whanaketanga o ngā whanaungatanga uaua) ka haere tonu pea ki te hikoi i runga i ngā anga hua manu me te noho tahi me tetahi atu, kei kōrero, kei mahi rānei rātou i tetahi mea hei pana atu i a rātou. Ki te kore e pai ake ngā āhuatanga, ka arahi tēnei ara ki te raruraru nui o ngā kare ā-roto.
11. Kāore koe i te ōrite tetahi ki tetahi
I a koe e whakatere ana i tētahi whanaungatanga uaua ki te hinengaro, kāore koe i te tino mōhio ki tō tūnga me tō hoa, ka tīmata pea koe ki te whakaaro kāore koe i te ōrite ki a rāua. Tērā pea ka tīmata ā rātou tauhohenga ki te ohorere, ki te whakamataku rānei i a koe. Ā, ka tīmata koe ki te whakaaro, "E taea ana rānei te hanga i tētahi mea whai tikanga me tēnei tangata?", "E tika ana rānei kia ngana ki te whakatika i tēnei whanaungatanga uaua?" I roto i te wā, ka kaha ake tō whakaaro... momotu mai i tō hoa, ā, ka noho koretake pea ki a rātou.
Me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi whanaungatanga uaua
Mā ngā tohu whakatūpato o tētahi whanaungatanga uaua ka mārama te kaha o te uaua o te kare ā-roto me te uaua o tēnei momo āhua. Mēnā ka taea e koe te hono atu ki ētahi o ngā tohu kua whakarārangihia i runga ake nei, me arotahi ō kaha ki te rapu huarahi hei whakatau i tētahi whanaungatanga uaua. E tuku ana a Tākuta Bhonsle i ēnei tohutohu:
1. Pātai atu ki a koe anō mēnā kei te tino mahi
I mua i tō whakapau kaha ki te rapu huarahi hei whakatau i tētahi whanaungatanga uaua, me tatari koe mō tētahi wā poto, ka arotake mēnā he pai. Kei te kite koe i tētahi heke mai mō tēnei whanaungatanga? I ētahi wā, mā te whakaaroaro ka ārahi pea koe ki te mōhio kāore i te rite. Ki te tino kaha tō whakaaro mō tēnā, kua tae pea te wā ki te whakawhirinaki ki a ia. Ki te whakaaro koe he kaha tonu tō whanaungatanga, ahakoa ōna ngoikoretanga katoa, he maha ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi hei huri i ngā mea.
2. He mea nui te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero hei whakatau i ngā whanaungatanga uaua
"Mā te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero mārama, me whakatūturu kōrua ko wai kōrua tetahi ki tetahi, me te tirohanga atu ki te ahunga o tēnei whanaungatanga," te kī a Tākuta Bhonsle. Kāore he huarahi kē atu i te kōrero ki a kōrua mō ō kōrua ake ngā tumanakohanga whanaungatanga, ngā whāinga, ngā hiahia, me ngā matea, me te matapaki i ngā mea e whai hua ana, me ngā mea kāore e whai hua ana. Nō reira,
- Tīmatahia he kōrero ki tō hoa
- Kōrerotia ki a rātou ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e koe mai i tēnei whanaungatanga
- Tukua rātou kia whakapuaki i ō rātou hiahia
- Kātahi ka whakatau mēnā ka taea e kōrua te whakatutuki i tētahi kaupapa ōrite hei whakangawari i ngā mea, mēnā rānei he pai ake kia wehe kōrua i te ara.
Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakatakoto i ngā rohe kare ā-roto i roto i ngā whanaungatanga
3. Whakaritea nga rohenga marama
Tuhinga o mua nga rohe whanaungatanga hauora he āhuatanga tēnei o tētahi whanaungatanga uaua. Nō reira, ko te mahi ki te whakatū me te whakatinana i ngā rohe he taahiraa nui i roto i tō haerenga ki te rapu huarahi hei whakatau i tētahi whanaungatanga uaua.
- Whakamāramahia te tikanga o tēnei whanaungatanga ki a koe, me te whakatakoto whāinga mō te heke mai.
- Kōrerohia marietia ngā mea e whakaaetia ana, me ngā mea kāore e taea te whiriwhiri māu
- Whakamātauria ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e koe kia noho haumaru ai, kia arohaina ai hoki
- Kōrerohia te tikanga o te kore e takahi i ngā rohe o tētahi ki tētahi mō te heke mai o tō kōrua whanaungatanga.
4. Whakaū ki te mahi
Ki te kite koe i te pūmanawa o te whanaungatanga, he tino pai te mahi ki te whakatau i ō raruraru. Heoi, ka hua noa iho tēnei mahi mēnā ka whakapau kaha ngā hoa e rua ki te huri i ngā āhuatanga.
5. Rapua he tautoko hei whakatau i tētahi whanaungatanga uaua
Me kōrero pea koe i ngā wā maha i mua i te tīmatanga o tētahi ara hou. I ētahi wā, ahakoa ō mahi tino pai, ka uaua pea ki a koe te ahu whakamua i te huarahi tika. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ka nui te rapu āwhina mai i waho o te whanaungatanga. Ka taea e koe te kōrero ki ngā hoa tata, ki te whānau rānei mō ētahi tirohanga e tino hiahiatia ana, te haere rānei ki te rongoā hinengaro hei whakaoti i ō raruraru. Mena kei te hiahia āwhina koe, Ngā ratonga tohutohu a Bonobology kei a koe ano.
6. Whakaatuhia to manaakitanga
Ki te mea kua whakatau koe ki te noho tonu ki te whakapai ake i tō whanaungatanga, he mea nui kia whakapau kaha koe ki te whakamōhio atu ki tō hoa e arohaina ana, e manaakihia ana, e manaakitia ana hoki rātou. He roa te wā e ora ai. I tēnei wā, me mahi i ngā mea iti hei whakaatu i tō aroha me tō whakakitea ki a rātou te nui o tō aroha hoki ratou.
Tohutohu Matua
- He hononga uaua te hononga e uaua ana ki te tautuhi
- Ko ngā tumanakohanga kāore i te ōrite, ngā whāinga me ngā uara rerekē, ngā patunga kare ā-roto kāore anō kia ora, me te koretake ētahi o ngā take e uaua ai ngā whanaungatanga.
- Ko te kore e tino mōhio ki ō kare ā-roto, te koretake mō te heke mai, te kore whakapau kaha, te pouri, me te pakanga, he tohu katoa ēnei o tētahi whanaungatanga uaua.
- Ko te whakautu ki te huarahi hei whakatau i tētahi whanaungatanga uaua kei roto i te whakapai ake i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, te whakatakoto i ngā rohe hauora, te whakapau kaha ki te whakatika i te hononga, me te rapu āwhina mēnā e tika ana.
Ahakoa te uauatanga, te hua rānei o te whakatau i tēnei raruraru, he pai ake te mahi ki te tango i te koretake o te whanaungatanga, kaua e kī noa he "uaua" tō whanaungatanga, ka waiho noa kia taurite. Ko te tumanako ka taea e koe te tautuhi i te hē o tō whanaungatanga, te take o tō pouri, me te kimi i te mahi e whai ake nei.
FAQs
He whanaungatanga uaua te wā e aroha ana/e pai ana koe ki tētahi atu tangata, engari kāore koe i te tino mōhio mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki te whai hononga ki a ia.
Āe, tino tika. Ā, kei te tino raruraru hoki ngā hoa tokorua. Ko te tikanga o tētahi whanaungatanga uaua, kāore ngā hoa i roto i tēnei whanaungatanga me ngā waewae e rua kei roto, ā, me whakaaroaro rāua i ētahi mea i mua i te tino piripono tetahi ki tetahi.
I runga i a Pukamata, ko te tikanga o te whanaungatanga uaua he hononga, he aroha rānei tōu ki tētahi, engari ehara i te mea he hononga tūturu hei kī he whanaungatanga tika. Heoi anō, kāore anō koe kia takakau nā te mea kei tētahi atu wāhi tō ngākau e piri ana.
Te Pakanga Mana i roto i ngā Hononga: Te Huarahi Tika hei Whakatau i tēnei
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
