"Kāore au i te whakapono i pērā tana mahi. Koinā te mahi a taku hoa o mua! Āue!" "He aha ia i tawai ai ki aku kākahu i tēnei rā?" "He aha ia i whiwhi ai i ngā mea katoa? He nui ake taku mahi i a ia!" "I hokona anō e ia tētahi motuka hou? He aha ahau i mau tonu ai ki te motuka tawhito?" Kua kitea e tātou katoa e hae ana ki te angitu o tētahi atu, e whakahē kino ana i ō tātou hoa, e kore hoki e harikoa ki ngā taonga a ō tātou hoa. Ko te tikanga, ko te mahi rānei o te pauna i a koe, i tō hoa rānei ki ētahi atu tāngata me ngā āhuatanga ka kiia ko te "mahanga whakataurite".
He aha te tangata e whakarite ai i a rātou anō ki ētahi atu? Kaua ianei tātou e whakanui tetahi i tetahi mō te tangata ko wai tātou? Mā te whakataurite i tō oranga, i tō whanaungatanga rānei ki tētahi atu ka nui ake te mamae mōu me tō hoa. E ai ki te kōrero, "He matomato tonu te tarutaru i tērā taha." Ahakoa ko wai koe, ka nui ake te ataahua o te oranga o tētahi atu tangata ki a koe mēnā kei te kore koe e makona i roto i a koe.
Ka mutu pea tēnei ka whakararu i tō whakaaro ki a koe anō me ō whanaungatanga tangata, tae atu ki ngā whanaungatanga aroha. Kia tīmata koe ki te whakataurite kino i te āhua o tō hoa ki a koe me te āhua o tō hoa o mua, kua whakatuwhera kē koe i te pouaka a Pandora. Nā, me pēhea tātou e mutu ai te uaua ki te whakataurite? He aha i puta ai tēnei i te tuatahi? Kia rapu tātou.
Te Rore Whakataurite
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Ina kite koe i tētahi e whiwhi moni nui atu ana i tāu i whakaaro ai i nāianei, ina kite koe i tētahi he nui ake āna "likes" me āna "followers" i runga i tāna whāngai pāpāho pāpori, ina rongo rānei koe kua whiwhi tētahi hoa i tētahi mahi hou e rapua ana e koe, he āhua noa iho te hae ki a ia.
Ahakoa ētahi o ngā whakatutukitanga a ētahi atu ka akiaki i a tātou kia pai ake te mahi, tata tonu ka haere tahi mai me te hae – me te whakataurite kino. Ka nui haere ngā hapa katoa kua kitea e koe i roto i a koe anō, ā, ka tīmata pea koe ki te pātai i tō uara. Ehara tēnei momo mahanga i te mea e pāngia ana e tētahi wāhanga motuhake o te taupori, e mihi ana tātou katoa ki ō tātou hoa mō ā rātou mahi hou e whai hua ana, me te whakaaro anō hoki, "He aha taku mahi i roto i tōku ao?"
I tana kōrero mō tēnei kaupapa, i kōrero a Tākuta Aman Bhonsle ki a Bonobology me pēhea te pānga kino o te mahanga whakataurite pāpāho pāpori ki ō whanaungatanga. "Ka kite koe i ngā pūkete Instagram a te tokorua rongonui, me ā rāua kaiwhaiwhai katoa, ā, ka huri whakarere rāua hei "whāinga whanaungatanga". Ko ngā tokorua e tuhi ana i ngā ataata haereere, e harikoa ana, e menemene ana ki waho i ō rāua raruraru katoa o te ao.
Pānui e pā ana: Te pānga o te pāpāho pāpori ki ō whanaungatanga
"E noho ana rātou i te whenua noa, e tukuake ana i ngā kōrero mai i ngā takutai moana o Kariki me Cancun, me te kore e mōhio ki ngā mahi whakarihariha e pā ana ki a tātou. E mōhio ana tātou katoa kāore te ao tūturu e rite ki tēnā. I ētahi rā ka ngenge koe, i ētahi rā ka riri koe. I ētahi rā kāore koe e tino hiahia ki te mahi mōrearea, ki te aroha rānei. Engari i roto i ngā kiriata e mātaki ana koe me ngā taupānga pāpāho pāpori e haere tonu ana koe, kāore aua rā e tuhia."
"He rite tonu ngā whanaungatanga i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori ki ngā whanaungatanga koretake. Ko te kiriata whakahirahira, ka whakatakotoria ki runga i te pereti hei kai māu, ka tino whiriwhiria, ka whakarerekētia kia pai ake ai te reka. Nō reira, ka whakaititia tō tātou noho noa, ka whakawhanakehia he take whakawhirinaki me te hae, ā, ka kore e taea te whakatutuki i ō tātou tumanakohanga."
E noho ana tātou i tētahi ao e aro nui ana ki te mana, ā, e tino whakanuia ana e ngā pāpāho pāpori ngā whakataurite e mahia ana e tātou ki te hunga e karapoti ana i a tātou. Ka ngana tātou ki te whakataurite i ō tātou wā kino rawa atu ki ngā wā tino pai o aua wā, ā, ka mutu, ka pā kino tēnei ki tō tātou hinengaro. Ko te whakataurite ki runga, ina whakatauritea tātou i a tātou ki tētahi e kitea ana e tātou he nui ake, ka waiho pea i a tātou me ngā whakaaro hē mō te rangatira, me ngā raruraru nui mō te whakaaro nui ki a tātou anō.
He māmā noa iho te taka ki roto i te mahanga whakataurite, ā, koia te take he tokomaha te hunga e raru ana. Me ngana tātou ki te mārama ki ngā mea ka taea e tātou te mahi hei puta atu i tēnei, kia kore ai tātou e whakataurite i ō tātou hoa ki ngā tauira whakapakari tinana e kitea ana e tātou i runga i a Instagram.
Kua mau koe i roto i te mahanga whakataurite? Anei ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi mōna
Ki te mea kua tino kitea e tātou tō tātou hoa rangatira, ā, kāore rawa rātou e taea te whakarite ki tētahi atu, ki tētahi mea rānei, he aha tātou ka taka ai ki te mahanga o te whakataurite kino tonu? Kua rite katoa rānei tātou ki te titiro ki te tangata pērā i tā tātou rapu kōwhiringa i a tātou e hoko ana i tētahi kākahu, i tētahi takirua hū rānei?
Ā tōna wā ka hoha tātou ki tētahi "hū tino pai", kāore? Nō reira, ka hoha anō hoki tātou ki ō tātou hoa? Kāore te whakautu ki ēnei pātai i te ngāwari pērā i tā tātou e hiahia ana. Heoi, he tino māmā, he watea hoki te whakataurite i ngā tāngata. Ko te mea uaua ko te whakakore i tēnei ia.
Ahakoa te nui o tā tātou kore e hiahia, ka taea e tātou te taka ki roto i te mahanga whakataurite pāpāho pāpori, me te whakarite i ō tātou hoa ki ngā tāngata o mua, ki ngā tāngata rānei e kitea ana e tātou i runga i te ipurangi. E ai ki a Theodore Roosevelt, "Ko te whakataurite te tahae o te harikoa." Ki te kitea koe e mau ana i roto i te mahanga whakataurite, anei ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi hei whakatau tika i tēnei:
1. Arotahi ki tō ahunga whakamua
Ka tūtaki koe ki tētahi hoa tawhito i tētahi huihuinga kura. He tino pai tōna tinana, he tāne whai rawa i tōna taha, ā, te āhua nei kāore anō ia kia koroheke noa mai i te wā whakamutunga i kite ai koe i a ia i te pō whakangungu. Kei a ia ngā mea katoa e hiahiatia ana e te tāne i roto i te wahine . Ko tāu tauhohenga tuatahi ko te whakarite i a koe ki a ia.
Ka whakataurite te tangata i a rātou anō mā te mātakitaki i ngā mea kei te mata. Ko tāu e kite nei, ko te haurua o te pono pea. Kaua e whakataurite kino, arotahi ki tō ake ahunga whakamua. He haerenga anō tō te katoa. Whakaarohia, kaua e uru ki tēnei huarahi whakaaro kino i runga i ngā mea e whakaaetia ana kia kitea e koe mō tētahi tangata, he aha e kore ai e arotahi noa ki a koe anō? Kaua e hae, kia harikoa mō tōna tipu, kia whakawhetai hoki mō tō ake ahunga whakamua.
2. Awhitia tō tuakiri me te ahurei o tō whanaungatanga
Ahakoa kua taka koe ki te mahanga whakataurite o te whakahē i tō hoa, i a koe anō rānei, me okioki mō tētahi wā poto, me whakaaroaro ki ō kaha, me te whakaae he ahurei ia tangata, ia whanaungatanga hoki. Mā ō āhuatanga me ō kaha koe e whakarite mō ngā whakatutukitanga ka rerekē i ō hoa.
Ahakoa te āhua nei kāore rāua e whawhai, ehara i te mea he "pai" ake tō rāua whanaungatanga i tō kōrua. He rerekē ia whanaungatanga, ia whanaungatanga, ā, he koretake te ngana ki te whakataurite i a koe anō i runga i aua take koretake.
Ko te whakataurite i te oranga o tētahi atu tangata ki a koe anō, he rite ki te rua rāpeti kāore koe e hiahia ki te taka ki raro (ki te kore koe e hiahia kia rite ki a Alice In Wonderland i te ao tūturu). Ko koe anō tōu ake tangata, ā, ko te whakataurite i te tangata ki a koe anō he whakaaro kino e aukati ana i te tipu.
3. Whakautehia tō wā
Ka taea te whakamahi i te kaha me te wā ka pau i a koe ki te whakatairite i ngā tāngata i runga i te huarahi whai hua ake. Ka panaia koe ki te mahanga whakatairite, ka mawehe atu i ō whāinga me ō whāinga. Engari i te moumou taima ki te hae ki te motuka hou maeneene a tō hoa noho, me te whakatairite i a ia ki tō ake waka, uru atu ki tō rātou harikoa, ka haere tahi me rātou mō te taraiwa roa. Nā, ehara i te mea he pai ake tēnā i te whakaaro nui ko wai te mea pai ake, ko wai te mea kāore?
4. Mahi i runga i te whakawhetai
Ina whakataurite koe ki runga, ka titiro koe ki te hunga e kite ana koe he pai ake, ka whakataurite i tōu mana ki a rātou. I taua wā anō, tera pea ētahi e kanga ana i ō rātou waimarie, e hiahia ana kia rite ki tāu e mahi nei i nāianei. Ko te whakaaro nui, me whai wā koe ki te whakawhetai mō ngā mea kei a koe, ā, ka kite koe i te whakataurite i roto i tētahi tirohanga rerekē.
Kia whakawhetai ki ngā whanaungatanga harikoa, hauora kua whakatipuria e koe, kua mau tonu hoki. Kia whakawhetai ki ngā mea katoa kei a koe, kaua e kimi take hei amuamu mō ngā mea kāore i a koe. Mā te kī noa, "E whakawhetai ana ahau mō te tangata ko au ahau me te pūmanawa kei a au" ka nui pea hei whawhai ki ngā mea e pā ana ki a koe.
5. Ka taea te aukati i te mahanga whakataurite mā te whakaaro nui ki a koe anō
Ina whakaae koe ki tō āhua, ina aroha koe ki a koe anō mō tō āhua, ā, ina aroha koe ki tō ake tuakiri, ka awhi koe i tō ahurei. Nō reira, kāore koe e manukanuka rawa ki ngā mea ka kawea mai e ētahi atu, nā te mea kua makona koe ki te tuakiri e tukuna ana e koe.
Hei whakapakari i tō whakaaro ki a koe anō , me whakamōkito koe i te kaitukino o roto i a koe. Ko ngā whakaaro pēnei i te, "Kāore koe i te pai, ka hinga koe", "E kore rawa koe e rite ki tōna āhua," me whakakapi ki te, "Ka taea e koe te mahi i ngā mea e nui atu i tō mōhio" me te "He mea whakamiharo, he mea motuhake hoki tō āhua ki a koe".
He aha te take e whakataurite ai te tangata i a rātou anō ki ētahi atu?
E noho ana tātou i roto i tētahi hapori e ako ana i a tātou ki te whakahē i te tangata me ngā mea katoa e tūtaki ana tātou. I a koe e hikoi ana i te huarahi, ka taea e tētahi tauhou ātaahua te ataata mai ki a koe, ka meinga koe kia rite ki a koe te rā, te marama, me te ao whānui – kātahi ka pupuhi ohorere tō hoa, ka whakararu i tō moemoeā. I taua wā tonu, ka kite koe i a koe anō e whakataurite ana i tō hoa tino pai me tētahi tauhou i kite noa koe mō te kimo kanohi.
He tino māmā te pātai me pātai e koe kia wetekina ai koe i te mahanga whakataurite – me pēhea e taea ai e koe te whakataurite i tō oranga katoa, i tō whanaungatanga rānei ki tētahi wāhanga iti o te oranga o tētahi atu? Ka kitea e koe ko te koretake o roto ka puta ake he whakataurite. He aha te take o tēnei whakataurite ina he tino rerekē tō ao tūturu i tō rātou? Kāore te ao tūturu i te ataahua i ngā wā katoa engari he pai te utu, tika? Koinā te mea e kī atu ana tātou ki a tātou anō.
Tērā te kīwaha rongonui, "He maha ngā wā ka tinihanga te āhua." Heoi, ka taka te tangata ki tā rātou e kite nei, kāore i te tatari kia titiro ki muri i te ārai whakahīhī. Mena he raruraru kei muri i te whakaaturanga o tētahi whakaari tino ataahua i roto i te whare tapere o te ao, ka tīmata i ngā hinengaro uaua o te tangata. He pono ka nui atu i ngā mea e kitea ana e te kanohi. He mea noa te whakataurite i waenga i te angitu, ngā taonga rauemi, ngā hoa me te momo noho nā te mea kua whakaakona tātou kia noho i roto i te āhua whakataetae tonu. Engari whakaarohia, kāore koe e hiahia kia pērā.
He paitini āta haere ngā whakataurite kino ki te hapori. Engari ko te hae tetahi ki tetahi, he aha tātou e kore ai e whakanui i tō tātou angitu? Kāore ianei tēnā i te mea nui ake te whai hua i te kare kau o te noho i roto i te mahanga whakataurite? Ko te taahiraa tuatahi ki te wetewete ko te tango i te hinengaro kore whakahe. Kia mahara, ko koe te tautuhi i tō whanaungatanga me ngā uara mō tō ake oranga.
Pānui e pā ana: 11 Ngā Huarahi hei Manawanui i roto i te Hononga
Me mutu pea tā tātou whakahē i a tātou anō i te tuatahi, ā, me tīmata te whakauru i te hunga e arohaina ana e tātou ki taua tauira o te kore whakahē. Ina whakaarohia e koe te whakataurite, me pena ki a koe anō, me ngana kia pai ake i tō āhua o nanahi. Ko te huarahi ki te whakahaere i te whakataurite ā-tinana ka tīmata mā te kore e whakataurite i a tātou anō ki ō tātou hoa. Ko te tangata ka taea te tautuhi i te harikoa mōu ko KOE.
Ki te tīmata tātou ki te titiro ki ō tātou hoa mahi he hunga takitahi e whakaaro ana, e manawa ana, e mahi motuhake ana i a tātou, i ētahi atu rānei, tera pea ka kitea e tātou ko te mea anake hei whakataurite mā tātou ko wai rātou i mua, me pēhea tā rātou mahi ki a tātou i nāianei, me pēhea hoki rātou ā muri ake nei. Waihoki, kaua e whakataurite i a koe ki te tangata, engari whakatauritea koe ki ngā putanga o mua o koe. Ehara te tangata i te hu e taea te whakakapi ki ngā kākahu katoa. He takitahi rātou. He ahurei rātou. Kei roto hoki koe i tēnā.
FAQs
Haunga te moumou kaha, mā te whakataurite i a koe ki ētahi atu ka puta ake ngā kare ā-roto o te hae, te hara, te whakama, me ērā atu. Ka pā kino pea ki tō hauora hinengaro, ā, ka pā hoki ki tō oranga whaiaro. He whakaaro kino anō hoki nā te mea ka whakakore i te hihiri i a koe i tō haerenga ki ō whāinga me ō moemoeā.
Arotahi ki ō kaha, whakapono ki a koe anō, me te hanga i tētahi hinengaro kore whakahāwea. Kia mārama ko te mea e whakataurite ana koe i a koe anō he uhi noa iho pea o te pukapuka katoa o te oranga o tētahi. Ā, e ai ki te kōrero, "Kaua rawa e whakahāwea i tētahi pukapuka i tōna uhi."
Ina whakaritea tō oranga ki ngā wāhanga o te oranga o tētahi atu, ka nui ake pea ō ngoikoretanga, ā, ka tino whakahē koe i a koe anō. Ka hua ake pea tēnei i te whakaaro hē ki a koe anō, me te iti o te whakaaro ki a koe anō. Nō reira, ka pāngia pea ō whanaungatanga ā-iwi me te whanaungatanga tangata.
Mā te mārama ko tāu e kite nei ko te kaupapa nui o te oranga o te tangata, ka taea e koe te whakaiti i te whakataurite i ngā pāpāho pāpori. Ko ētahi atu tikanga ko te hanga i te whakaaro nui ki a koe anō, te whakaiti i tō wā ki ngā pāpāho pāpori, te whakakore rānei i ngā mea e whakaoho ana i ō pāpāho pāpori kia kore ai koe e tūtaki ki a rātou.
Ko te ahurea whakatairite he whakatairite tātou i a tātou anō tetahi ki tetahi i runga i ō tātou kōtaha pāpāho pāpori, he maha ngā wā he whakaaturanga whakanui rawa o te oranga o te tangata.
Ngā Hononga Hauora, Ngā Hononga Kino rānei – Ngā Āhuatanga 10
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
Esmu tik priecīga, ka pat nespēju izteikt laimi savā sirdī. Burvestības autors, kuru satiku tiešsaistē un kura e-pasta adrese ir ( [kua tiakina te imeera] ), man izteica atkalapvienošanās mīlestības burvestību. Un tā patiešām nostrādāja, redzot savu bijušo vīru atgriezušos mājās un atceļot šķiršanos.