Ko te tikanga o te aroha he noho rangimārie, he pārekareka ki te noho tahi me te tangata e arohaina ana e koe, me te tumanako ki te hanga i tētahi heke mai harikoa. He tino utopia! Heoi, he maha ngā wā kāore te ao tūturu i te tino tika o ngā whanaungatanga e puritia ana e tātou. Mai i ngā take whakawhirinaki ki ngā whanonga kino, he maha ngā take ka ārai i a tātou ki te hanga i te whanaungatanga pai rawa atu, tino ora. Ko tētahi o ngā arai noa ko te taniwha kanohi matomato e kiia nei ko te hae. Mena koinei tāu e raru ana, ko te ako me pēhea te mutu te hae me te whakahaere ko te huarahi anake ki te hanga i tētahi whanaungatanga haumaru.
He māmā ake pea te kī atu i te mahi. Heoi anō, he kare ā-roto uaua te hae. E whakamāramahia ana e ētahi tohunga he kare ā-roto tiaki engari he āhua whakangaro. He uaua ki te mōhio kei hea te pūtake mai, me pēhea hoki te whakahaere. Koia mātou i konei hei āwhina i a koe me ētahi rautaki whai hua hei whakatau i te hae aroha me ngā āhuatanga whakahaere e pā mai ana, me te kōrero tahi me te kaiwhakaora hinengaro me te tohunga whara. Prachi Vaish (M.Phil i roto i te Hinengaro), he tohunga ki te tohutohu whanaungatanga, te whakaora i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine, ngā mate manukanuka, te whakahaere i te Mate Tūturu, me te whakaoranga mai i te whara.
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Ripanga o Ihirangi
Mena koinei te pātai e pātaihia ana e koe i ētahi wā, kei te pai tō tūranga. Ehara i te mea he pai te hae, engari he mea pai kia mōhio koe ki a koe anō ina kitea koe e te hae e horomia ana, ā, ka tīmata te pā ki tō rangimarie o te hinengaro. Ko te tohutohu tuatahi mō te ako me pēhea te whakamutu i te hae me te whakahaere ko te mārama tika ki te kare o te hae.
E whakamārama ana a Prachi, "E mea ana te hae, "E hiahia ana ahau ki tāu mea, me pēhea e whiwhi ai ahau?" ā, e mea ana te hae, "Kāore i ahau tāu mea, ā, e kore ahau e tuku i a koe kia riro i a koe" me "Kei te ngana koe ki te tango i tāku mea, e kore ahau e tuku i a koe!" Nō reira, ko ngā mea katoa e whakaoho ana i te whakaaro whakamutunga i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga ka arahi ki te hae." I roto i ngā whanaungatanga, ko te kore haumaru, me te kore whakapono ka arahi ki te hae me te hiahia ki te whakahaere i tō hoa. Hei tauira, ki te hiahia koe ki te aroturuki i ngā nekehanga a tō hoa, he tohu tēnā kei roto i tō hinengaro ngā rewera.
Tera pea he kore o te whakawhirinaki me te wehi kei tinihangatia koe e akiaki ana i taua whanonga. I ētahi wā, he take whakapehapeha noa iho pea. Ahakoa te nui o tō kī he aroha koe ki tō hoa rangatira, ki tō hoa rangatira rānei, kāore koe e pai ki te kite i a ia e angitu ake ana, e rongonui ake ana rānei i a koe. Nā tēnei ka nui haere tō hae me tō kore whakawhirinaki.
Ahakoa te take, ki te kore e kitea e koe he whakautu mō te whakamutu i te hae me te whakahaere, e kore rawa koe e kite i te harikoa. "He mahi tō ngā kare ā-roto katoa, ā, he kare ā-roto noa iho te hae, kāore he whakatau pai, he whakatau kino rānei. Ko te mea nui ko te whakamārama me te mahi i tēnei kare ā-roto," te tāpiri a Prachi.
Te pānui e pā ana: Ka taea e te hae hauora te āwhina i a koe ki te hanga whanaungatanga kaha ake?
15 Rautaki Hei Kati i te Hae me te Whakahaere i roto i ngā Hononga
Ehara i te mea onge te hae me te koretake o te whanaungatanga, ā, i ētahi wā, he tika hoki ēnei kare ā-roto. Hei tauira, ka mura pea koe i te whakaaro kei te piri tō hoa ki tētahi atu. Tērā pea ka rongo koe i tētahi kare ā-roto kē o te mana pupuri mēnā ka kite koe i tētahi e pā kino ana ki a rātou. He kare ā-roto pono katoa ēnei e tohu ana i te tiakitanga taketake ki tētahi e aroha ana koe ki a ia.
Ka puta te raruraru ina pēnei tō whakaaro ahakoa kāore he take e kore ai koe e whakawhirinaki ki tō hoa. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ko te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga he tohu i te wehi, te kore haumaru, he tumanakohanga kore, te hītori rānei o tētahi. Ki te kite koe kāore e taea e koe te karo i ēnei kare ā-roto kino, kua tae ki te wā ki te whakapau kaha ki te rapu huarahi hei whakamutu i te hae me te whakahaere. Mā ēnei tohutohu 15 e tautokona ana e ngā tohunga koe e āwhina ki te whakatika i tō ara:
1. Whakaaroaro me te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero
Ko te taahiraa tuatahi ko te tautuhi i te kare o te hae. Ko te riri kore e taea te tupu ake i roto i tētahi āhuatanga motuhake e pā ana ki tō hoa me tētahi atu. Ko te kare wehi e kore e taea te whakamārama e pā ana ki a koe ina tawhiti atu koe i tō hoa aroha. Ko te hiahia tonu ki te tirotiro i tō hoa wahine, i tō hoa tāne rānei. He tohu katoa ēnei o te hae.
"Pātai atu ki a koe anō he aha te mea e hae ai koe, e whakamā ai hoki," te kī a Prachi, "Tirohia ki roto, kia kitea ai mēnā he kaupapa i mua i pērā ai ō whakaaro. Kia kitea e koe tētahi take whaitake (ā, he take whaitake tonu, kei nāianei, kei te huna rānei i mua), kōrero ki te tangata e whakaoho ana i te hae."
Te pānui e pā ana: 11 Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakapai Ake i te Whakawhitiwhiti Kōrero i roto i ngā Hononga
2. Kia mau ki te tirotiro i ō tumanakohanga
Ko te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga he tohu i ngā tumanakohanga koretake, me ētahi atu mea anō hoki. Mena koinei te take o tō hiahia, ko te ako ki te mutu te hae me te whakahaere i roto i tō whanaungatanga ko te ako ki te whakahaere i ngā tumanakohanga i runga i te pono. Ko tētahi o ngā huarahi pai ki te whakatau i te hae aroha ko te arotake i ō tumanakohanga me te āhua tūturu o te āhuatanga.
E hiahia ana koe kia noho tonu tō hoa rangatira ki a koe, kia kaua e piripono ki ngā hoa i waho o tō whanaungatanga, kia kōrerohia ngā mea katoa ki a koe? Kei te whakarite koe i a koe anō mō te pouri, ā, ka puta te koretake o te whanaungatanga. Mō te whanaungatanga hauora, he mea nui kia hoatu he wāhi ki tō hoa rangatira, kia mau tonu hoki tō mana motuhake.
He oranga, he mahi, he hoahoa anō tō kōrua ko tō hoa. Kāore e taea e kōrua te tumanako ka honoa katoatia ō kōrua oranga. Ae, ka taea tonu e kōrua te kōrero me te whakapuaki i ō āwangawanga engari kia maumahara ehara i a rāua te kawenga mō tō harikoa, ehara hoki i a kōrua te kawenga mō tō rāua harikoa.
3. Tukua koe kia ngoikore
Ko te tautuhi i ngā mea e whakaoho ana i a koe, me te kōrero mō aua mea, he wāhanga nui tēnei o te kimi huarahi hei whakamutu i te hae me te whakahaere. Kia taea ai e koe te mahi i tēnā, me mahara koe mā te kōrero mō ngā mea e whakaoho ana i a koe me te koretake o te māia, e kore koe e āhua ngoikore. "He rerekētanga kei waenganui i te ngoikore me te ngoikore. Mā te tuku i a koe kia ngoikore, ka ara ake te huarahi mō ngā āhuatanga hohonu ake." te whanaungatanga piripono," te kī a Prachi.
Hei tāna, ko te mea anake hei whakarite māu ko te kōrero i te wā kāore koe i te tino pāngia e te kare ā-roto. "Puritia te take kei mua i a koe, kaua e whakaatu i ō rātou hapa o mua kia kaha ake ai tō tautohetohe. Ka mutu, ka waiho noa tō hoa hei tangata ārai. Whakamutua te kōrero me te whakaaro nui mā te kī i ngā tohutohu tika mō te āwhina i a koe kia noho haumaru," tana tohutohu.
Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakatau i te hae i roto i ngā whanaungatanga?
4. Kōrero me te whakarongo
Ki te hiahia koe ki te mōhio pono me pēhea te whakahaere i te hae, kāore he huarahi kē atu te whakatairanga i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero hauora. Ina pōuri koe, ina māharahara hoki, ngana ki te kōrero ki a koe anō. Kātahi ka kōrero ki tō hoa. Whakarārangihia ngā wā me ngā whanonga e whakamā ai koe, me ngā mea ka puta ake i te hae.
Ki te pā mai tētahi āhua motuhake ki a koe, kaua e tukua te whakapae katoa ki a koe anō, kaua hoki e whakama i a koe anō mō tēnā. Tērā pea he take tika tēnei e pērā ai ōu kare ā-roto. He pai ake te kōrero pono ki a ia, me te whaki i ō kare ā-roto kino. Mā wai e mōhio ka nui ake te mārama me te aro o tō hoa ki ō kare ā-roto.
5. Kia tūpato ki te whakangaro a te hae i tō whanaungatanga
Ko te noho pōrearea tonu me te whakaaro ko wai kei te tūtaki tō hoa, kei te tuku karere rānei, ka pā kino ki tō hauora hinengaro me tō oranga ngākau, me te pā kino hoki ki tō hononga ki tō hoa. Ko te manukanuka me te whakaaro ki ngā āhuatanga kino rawa atu mēnā ka tomuri ia i te mahi, i te haere rānei, ka taea te whakararu i tō rangimarie o te hinengaro, nui atu i tō tētahi atu. Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te whakatau i te hae me pēhea te mutu te whakahaere i roto i te whanaungatanga, me mōhio koe ki ēnei mea whakararu me ā rātou pānga ki a koe.
Kia mōhio koe ki te āhua o te haere mai o ēnei kare ā-roto o te kore haumaru ki te arai i tō harikoa, ka pai ake tō rite ki te whakatau i aua kare ā-roto. Me rite koe ki te whakapau kaha kia angitu ai koe i roto i tō ngana ki te wikitoria i te hae me ngā whanonga whakahaere. Ahakoa ehara i te mea ngāwari, mā te wā me te mahi, ka taea e koe te huri mai i te whakahaere i tō hoa ki te whakahaere i ō whakaaro kia kore ai e taea te whakahaere.
6. Arotahi ki ngā painga o tō whanaungatanga
Ki te koe e hiahia ana ahau ki te mōhio me pēhea te mutu te hae me te whakahaere, Kia aro nui ki ngā mea pai, kaua ki ngā mea kino. Hei tauira, ki te mea kei te āwangawanga koe mō te āhua o tō tāne ki te whakawai i tētahi wahine e tūtaki ana ia, ka wehi koe i tōna āhua whakaipoipo. Engari kua whakaarohia e koe ngā mea tika katoa o tō whanaungatanga? Kei te aro ia ki a koe, kei te whakahari i a koe, ā, kei te tautoko i a koe ina hiahiatia? Hoatu tō kaha ki aua āhuatanga.
He pono, kei a koe te tika ki te whakapuaki i tō riri, engari kaua e tukua ngā āhuatanga kino kia hinga i ngā āhuatanga pai. "Me whakapau kaha ki te wikitoria i tēnei te feaa i roto i tō whanaungatanga "Kaua e tukua tō hae kia whakararu i te mea e mahi ana," te kī a Prachi. Koinei te whakautu ki te huarahi hei whakatau i te hae me te whai hua.
Te pānui e pā ana: 10 Ngā Tohutohu Hei Huri i te Hae i roto i ngā Hononga hei Whakahihiri
7. Whakamahia te aroha ki a koe ano
Hei aroha, hei arohaina hoki e ētahi atu, me aroha koe ia koeKo tētahi o ngā tino take e raru ai te tangata i te koretake o te whanaungatanga, ā, kāore e taea te mutu te hae me te whakahaere, nā te mea kāore rātou e poipoi i te aroha ki a rātou anō. Ko te kore o te whakaaro nui ki a koe anō ka whakaatuhia he hae ki tō hoa nā te mea kei a koe tēnei wehi ā-roto kei kore koe e pai mō rātou.
Engari, ki te mea kei te māia koe ki tō āhua, ā, he pai tō whakaaro mōu ake, e kore koe e rapu i tētahi tangata hei whakaoti i a koe, hei whakatutuki hoki i ō hiahia kāore anō kia tutuki. Nō reira, ko tētahi huarahi hei wikitoria i ngā kare ā-roto o te mataku me te hae ko te mahi ki te whakapai ake i a koe anō i runga i te hauora, te āhua, te mahi, me tētahi atu āhuatanga o te ao.
8. Mahi ki te whakapakari i ngā whakaaro tahi
Kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te whakatau i te hae, me pēhea hoki te mutu te whakahaere i roto i te whanaungatanga? Kaua e aro ki ngā mea e wehewehe ana i a kōrua ko tō hoa, engari ngana ki te aro ki ngā mea e hono ana i a kōrua me ngā āhuatanga ōrite o kōrua. Whakahuatia rātou hei tangata, kaua e whakanoho i tō hoa aroha ki runga i te tūranga teitei, kaua hoki e whakanoho i a koe ki raro - he mea noa tēnei e puta ai ngā āwangawanga i roto i te whanaungatanga. Nā tēnei ka hae koe ina kore tō whanaungatanga e homai ki a koe te makona e rapua ana e koe. Engari, ngana kia noho hei hoa ōrite.
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10. Whakawhirinaki ki tō hoa me koe anō hoki
Ko te ritenga kē o te hae ko te whakawhirinaki. Ko tetahi whanaungatanga kua pōrearea i ngā tohu hae paitini, ka kore e kore ka kore he whakawhirinaki. Nō reira, ko te haerenga ki te rapu huarahi hei whakatau i te hae me mahi ki te whakatutuki te hanga, te hanga anō rānei i te whakawhirinaki i roto i tō whanaungatanga. "Ina whakatipuria e koe te whakawhirinaki, ka memeha haere te hiahia ki te whakahaere me te aroturuki i ngā āhuatanga katoa o te oranga o tō hoa," te kī a Prachi. E taunaki ana ia i ēnei tohutohu mō te hanga whakawhirinaki ka taea e koe te mahi tahi me tō hoa:
- Kia ū tonu: Kia mau ki ngā kupu whakaari me ngā herenga
- Kōrero pono: Tuhia ō whakaaro me ō kare ā-roto ki te mahorahora, ahakoa he uaua
- Whakamahi i te māramatanga: Kia tuwhera ki ō mahi me ōu whāinga
- Tautoko: Haere ki te taha o tō hoa i ngā wā e hiahiatia ana
- Whakawhirinakihia: Whakawhirinaki ki tō hoa, ā, whakaaturia kei te whakapono koe ki tōna ngākau pono me ōna whāinga.
- Kaua e whakahāwea: Whakarongo mai, kaua e peke ki te whakatau, me te tuku i tō hoa kia whakapuaki i ōna whakaaro katoa.
11. Whakawhanakehia ngā rohe hauora
Ko te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga he tohu i te wehi, te kore whakawhirinaki, me ngā whara o mua. Ka taea e ēnei āhuatanga katoa te akiaki i a koe ki te takahi i ō rohe me te hiahia ki te whakahaere i ngā nekehanga katoa a tō hoa. Koia te take e noho tahi ai te hae me te mana whakahaere. Ko te huarahi pai ki te aro atu ki ēnei tohu hae kino, me te ako me pēhea te mutu te whakahaere i roto i te whanaungatanga ko te whakatū mārama. ngā rohe i roto i te whanaungatanga.
Mā ēnei ka waihanga i te wairua haumaru me te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi, ka whakaiti i te hiahia ki te whakahaere me ngā hae. E kī ana a Prachi, "Ehara ngā rohe i te mea ko te whakakore, te pana atu rānei i tō hoa. Mā ngā rohe hauora ka āwhina koe me tō hoa ki te whakaute i te tuakiri o tetahi ki tetahi, me te noho hono tonu."
12. Whakatipu i ngā mahi whakangahau me ngā hiahia whaiaro
Ko te koretake o te whanaungatanga he mea noa hei whakaoho i ngā whanonga hae me te whakahaere. Ko te pūtake o tēnei kare ā-roto o te koretake o te whanaungatanga he whakaaro mō te whakaaro kāore koe i te tika, kāore rānei i te pai rawaKa puta tēnā ina kore koe e mōhio he kaupapa tōu, ina whakawhirinaki rānei tō oranga katoa ki tō hoa.
Ko te huarahi pai ki te neke atu i te whanonga hae me te whakahaere ko te whakatipu i taua wairua whai take mā te whai wāhi atu ki ngā mahi e hari ai koe, e tutuki ai hoki i waho o te whanaungatanga. "Ko te whai i ō ake hākinakina me ōu ake hiahia ka āwhina i te whakaiti i te whakawhirinaki ki tō hoa mō te whakamana. Ka waihangahia he wāhi mō te tipu, ka whakaiti i te ia o te whakawhirinaki nui ki tō hoa," te kī a Prachi.
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13. Werohia ngā whakaaro kino
E ai ki tā mātou i kōrero ai i mua, ko te hae i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga he tohu i ō ake wehi, i ō āwangawanga, nga wheako o mua, ngā take whakawhirinaki, me ērā atu. He rerekē pea ngā mea e whakaoho ana i te hae, engari ko te hae tonu e ahu mai ana i ngā kare ā-roto me ngā tauira whakaaro kino. Nō reira, ko tētahi o ngā huarahi tino whai hua hei ārai i tēnei ko te tautuhi me te wero i ngā whakaaro koretake, kino rānei e pā ana ki te hae.
"He maha ngā wā ka puta mai te hae i ngā tauira whakaaro hē, ā, me mahi koe ki te whakakapi i aua tauira ki ngā tirohanga taurite ake. Mā te wero i ēnei whakaaro me te tirotiro i tō rātou whai mana, ka taea e koe te whakaiti i te mana o aua whakaaro ki a koe, ā, ka ārai i a rātou ki te whakahaere i ō kare ā-roto," te kī a Prachi.
14. Parakatihi whakaaro
He taputapu whai hua te aroātahi hei whakahaere me te whakahaere i ngā tohu hae paitini i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ko te aroātahi te mahi o te noho i roto i te wā o nāianei me te mōhio ki ō whakaaro, kare ā-roto, kare ā-tinana, me te taiao. Ka taea e ngā tikanga aroātahi te āwhina nui i a koe ki te whakahaere i ngā mea e whakaoho ana i te kare ā-roto, kia taea ai e koe te urupare marie kaua ki te urupare ohorere ki ngā kare ā-hae.
"Mā te aro nui koe e āwhina ki te tirotiro i ō kare ā-roto me te kore e pāngia e aua kare ā-roto," te kī a Prachi. E taunaki ana ia i ngā mahi aro nui e whai ake nei hei ārai i te kare o te hae, te hiahia rānei kia whakahaere:
- Te manawa pouaka: Ngā manawa hōhonu, puhoi—te manawa ki roto i ngā tatau e 4, me te manawa ki waho i ngā tatau e 6—hei āwhina i a koe kia marino
- Matawai tinana: Te arotahi i tō aro ki ngā kare ā-roto rerekē o tō tinana hei tango i tō hinengaro i ngā kare ā-roto e taumaha ana
- Tuhituhi: Te whakapuaki i ō whakaaro me ō kare ā-roto ki roto i ngā kupu
- Te whakaaroaro aroha-atawhai: Tuhinga o mua ngā whakapumautanga mō tō whanaungatanga, māu anō, me tō hoa rangatira e āwhina ki te whakaiti i te kaha o ngā kare ā-roto kino pēnei i te hae
Te pānui e pā ana: 9 Ngā Huarahi Hei Mahi Tuhinga I roto i ngā whanaungatanga piripono
15. Kōrero ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro
Ki te nui rawa atu tō hae i ngā rohe whaitake, ā, ka tīmata te pā ki tō hononga ki tō hoa, he mea whakaaro nui kia rapu āwhina mai i tētahi tohunga. Ka taea e te hae te whakangaro i ngā hononga tino ataahua i te mea ka uru mai ki te hanga whanaungatanga hauora, whakawhirinaki. Ko te mea nui, ka taea e te kaiwhakaora hinengaro te āwhina i a koe ki te tautuhi i ngā mea e whakaoho ana i te whanaungatanga o mua, o tō tamarikitanga rānei, koinei pea te pūtake o ō kare ā-roto kino, me te āwhina i a koe ki te whakakore i aua kare ā-roto. Ki te whakaaro koe ki te rapu āwhina, me rapu āwhina mai i ngā tohunga hauora hinengaro mohio me te wheako. Te rōpū a Bonobology kei konei mo koe.
FAQs
Ka taea e koe te wikitoria i ngā āwangawanga i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga mā te arotahi ki ngā āhuatanga pai, te whakapuaki tika i ō hiahia, me te tautuhi i ngā mea e meinga ai koe kia hae, kia āwangawanga rānei.
Tērā pea nā te koretake o te māia, ā, ka taea hoki te whai i ngā hiahia o tō tamarikitanga kāore i tutuki pai. Ka ārahi te hae ki te ia o te whakahaere i tō whanaungatanga nā te mea kāore koe i te whakawhirinaki ki a koe anō me tō hoa.
Ka taea e koe te whakakore i te hae mā te arotahi ki ngā āhuatanga pai e tohaina ana e kōrua ko tō hoa, te ako ki te whakawhirinaki, te tuwhera me te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, me te hiahia ki te rapu āwhina ngaio mēnā kāore e taea e koe te whakahaere i ō kare ā-roto kino.
Ahakoa kāore te hae i te pai mō te hauora, ka taea e ia te āwhina i tō whanaungatanga kia kaha ake mā te tautuhi i te mea e tino hiahiatia ana e koe, me te mea hoki e whakararuraru ana i a koe. Kia mōhio koe ki tēnā, ka taea pea e koe te whakapakari i taua āhuatanga.
Thoughts Final
He nui te mahi hei hanga whanaungatanga hauora, aroha hoki. Ehara i te mea ko te whakatipu i ngā āhuatanga pai anake te mahi engari ko te tango atu hoki i ngā mea kino. Whakamātauria te huri i tō hae hei mea pai mā te whakamahi hei tautuhi i ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e koe me ngā mea kāore e hiahiatia ana e koe. I ētahi wā, ka taea e ia te āwhina i ngā whanaungatanga kia kaha ake!
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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
