Me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi hoa? Ngā tohutohu me whai, ka mahi merekara ai

He mea whakamere te whakaipoipo i tētahi hoa, nā te mea kua mau tonu te hononga. Ka taea e kōrua te kōrero mō ngā kaupapa maha o te ao, ka pai ki a kōrua te noho tahi, ā, ka hono tahi kōrua mō ngā hiahia ōrite. Ka kitea te kaha o tō kōrua hoahoa i roto i tō porowhita, ā, ko tō hoa pai te tino kaiwhakatairanga i a kōrua. I roto i te poto, ka tutuki i a ia ngā paearu hei hoa tino pai. Engari me pēhea te whakaipoipo i tētahi hoa?

He āhua whakamā te whakawhiti i waenganui i ngā hoa me ngā hoa aroha i ētahi wā. Engari ki te tirohia ngā tatauranga mō ngā hoa i mua i te whakaipoipo, e ai ki tētahi rangahau nā Te Whare Wānanga o Texas, e 40% o te iwi i kī he hoa rātou i mua i te hononga aroha.

He aha rā te mea e aukati ana i a koe ki te whakaipoipo i tētahi hoa? Ko te wehi kei noho hei hoa , ko te tūponotanga rānei o tō whanaungatanga kei ngaro atu i a koe?

Mena he kare ā-roto pēnei kei te aukati i a koe ki te mahi i tāu nekehanga tuatahi, me mārama koe he maha ngā tāne me ngā wāhine o te ao tūturu kua kitea tō rātou aroha pono mā te whakahoahoa anake. Ko te tīmatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga ki tō hoa pai te huarahi pai rawa atu.

He whakaaro pai te whakaipoipo i tētahi hoa?

I te taha hinengaro, he nui ake te tūponotanga o tō hoa piripono roa ki te whakatū hononga aroha angitu i roto i tētahi rā tata nei e arohaina ana e kōrua. I te mea he pai ēnei tūmanako katoa ki a koe, he tino pai te tono whakaipoipo ki tō hoa pai, kei te āhua o tō huarahi ki te whakatutuki i tēnā.

Engari ko te wero tūturu ko te whakaipoipo i tētahi hoa pai roa, me te whakapuaki i ō kare ā-roto pono ki a rātou. Nā te mea i ētahi wā he ahua māharahara te whakawhiti mai i te hoa ki te whakaipoipo. Ka roa pea te wā e neke ai i te hoa patu-tuara ki te hoa aroha.

Ko te mea pai, e mōhio ana tō hoa ki a koe tūturu. E mōhio ana ki ō mea ngaro katoa me ō raruraru, e mōhio ana hoki ki ō ngoikoretanga me ō kaha, nō reira kāore koe e hiahia ki te whakapau kaha ki te miharo i a rātou.

Engari, he whakaaro kino pea te whakaipoipo i tētahi hoa pai rawa atu, nā te mea kei te mōhio nui rawa atu tō hoa ki a koe, ā, ka whakamahia e ia hei mea kino i roto i ngā tautohetohe mō tō kōrua whanaungatanga , ka raru ai tō kōrua whanaungatanga.

Mā te noho hei hoa pai mōu, tera pea ka mōhio ia ki ō āhuatanga kino, ō āhuatanga rerekē me ō āhuatanga rerekē. E rua ngā tikanga o tēnei. Tērā pea ka mārama ake rātou ki a koe mō tēnei, ka whakamahia rānei hei whakahē i a koe.

Kei runga i tēnā ka whakatau koe mēnā he whakaaro pai, he whakaaro kino rānei te whakaipoipo i tētahi hoa kua roa e mōhio ana koe.

Me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi hoa kua mōhiotia e koe mō ngā tau maha?

Ko te whakaipoipo i tō hoa pai rawa atu he tikanga pea kei te takahi koe i tētahi ara pōhēhē. Kei te hiahia koe ki te karo i te tohu 'he hoa noa iho' engari kāore koe i te tino mōhio mēnā ka whakahoki mai ia i ō kare ā-roto, kāore rānei.

Kāore rawa i roto i tō kaupapa te ohorere i tō hoa rangatira. I tēnei wā, kia mārama koe he mea nui te nekehanga o tō whanaungatanga.

He wā anō kei te whakaipoipo i tētahi hoa, ka kaha haere te whanaungatanga, kātahi ka hae koe ki āna atu hiahia aroha, kātahi ka mōhio kua aroha koe ki tō hoa, kātahi ka piri tahi.

Kātahi ka tīmata kōrua te titiro ki tētahi heke mai. Engari me pēhea te whakaipoipo i tētahi hoa kua mōhiotia e kōrua mō ngā tau maha? Me pēhea te haere i ngā wāhanga o te whakaipoipo i tētahi hoa? Māku e kōrero atu ki a koe.

1. Tātarihia tō hototahitanga ki a rātou

He rerekē ngā mahi a te hoahoa me te whakaipoipo. He rerekē te hototahitanga me te aroha hei hoa, engari ka pai te hononga o te tokorua? Ka taea e koe te utu mō te ngaro o tō hoa pai mena ka whakakahore ia? Whakaarohia marietia i mua i te mahi i tāu mahi e whai ake nei.

Nā te mea, ina neke koe, tera pea ka kino te whanaungatanga mēnā kāore rāua e hiahia ki te whai hononga aroha ki a koe. Nō reira, kia tino mohio kei te taha kotahi ō kare ā-roto, kātahi ka ruku noa.

2. Tākarohia te kāri 'hae'

Kōrerohia he tama/kōtiro, ā, whakaarohia kei te pai koe ki a ia. Aromatawaihia ā rātou tauhohenga. Kei te māharahara rātou? He kupu kē rānei 'hae'? Ka taea hoki e koe te haere tahi me tētahi tama, kōtiro rānei mō tētahi rā, ā, ina kōrero koe ki tō hoa, tirohia te āhua o ā rātou tauhohenga.

Mena koinei te āhua, ka whiwhi pea koe i ngā tohu parāone nā te mea kei te aro nui ia ki a koe, kāore rānei i te mōhio kei te nui atu tōna aroha ki a koe i te hoa.

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3. Mātakihia te reo o tō rātou tinana

E mōhio ana te ao kua tae te wā ki te whakawhiti hoa ki te whakaipoipo, engari ko te tokorua anake kua aroha tetahi o rāua, kua aroha rānei rāua tetahi ki tetahi. Nō reira, ki te mea kei te ngana koe ki te tātari mēnā kei te aroha anō hoki ia ki a koe, tirohia te āhua o tā rātou urupare ki a koe i roto i ngā huihuinga takitahi, rōpū rānei.

Mā te titiro kanohi ki a koe, ahakoa kei roto i te rūma ētahi atu, te whai i ō nekehanga ringa, i ō nekehanga rānei i a koe e taunekeneke ana, ka kitea tōna hiahia ki a koe. He mea nui ngā tohu o te reo tinana.

Ahakoa he nui ake te kata a te tāne, me te whakaatu i tōna aroha ki a ia, ko te tikanga ka whakaatu te wahine i tōna hiahia mā te whero noa iho. Ki te pai koe ki ēnei tohu kore-kupu, kaua e whakaroa ki te whakapuaki i tō aroha ki a ia.

4. Tukuna mai he tohutohu mō tō whakaaro mō tētahi 'hoa pai'

Me pēhea te whakaipoipo i tētahi hoa? Me whakamārama atu mātou i tētahi mahi tinihanga. Kia maioha ki ō rātou āhuatanga e whakamoemititia ana e koe, ā, me whakaatu mai hoki tō hiahia nui ki te kimi i aua kaha o tō hoa rangatira.

Me whakaatu ki a rātou he nui atu i te noho hei hoa noa iho rātou mā te whakapuaki i tō rātou hiranga i roto i tō koiora.

Ki te mea he pai ki a rātou ō kupu, ā, e pōuri ana rātou, kua whiti koe i tētahi atu taumata hei whakamana i te hononga ki tō hoa.

5. Whakapuakina ō kare ā-roto me te pono nui

Kaua e whakararuraru i a rāua; kia noho humarie kōrua. Hoatu he wā ki a rāua ki te arotake i ngā mea ka taea. Tukua kia kite rāua ko koe tētahi hoa pai.

Ina tīmata koe ki te whakaipoipo me tētahi hoa, ka rerekē ngā āhuatanga o tō whanaungatanga. Engari, ka noho tonu te pono i roto i tō whanaungatanga. Kia pono, kia kōrerotia ō kare ā-roto ki a rātou.

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6. Te tono i tētahi hoa kia haere tahi rāua, ina whakaae mai rātou!

He rerekē te tirohanga a tetahi ki tetahi i tēnei wā motuhake. Kua roa pea kōrua e mōhio ana ki a rāua, engari he rerekē tēnei wā tuatahi.

E mōhio ana koe ki a ia, whakamahia tēnā hei painga mōu, ā, whakaritea he rā kia rite ki ō rāua hiahia. Haere mō te hikoi roa, whai wāhi ki tētahi mahi noa, ā, hoatu he wā whakahirahira ki a ia hei rā.

Ina tae kōrua ki tētahi hoa pai, ka kitea e kōrua tōna taha aroha, he mea kāore anō kia mōhiotia e kōrua hei hoa. He tūāpapa pai tēnei ki tētahi hononga hou. Waihoki, mā tētahi hoa e whakaatu ki a koe tō tūnga aroha mēnā ka tīmata kōrua ki te whakaipoipo pono ki tō hoa.

7. He aha te mea hei kōrero ki tētahi hoa kua mōhiotia e koe mō ngā tau maha?

Kaua e whakaaro he panga noa iho, kaua e mahi wairangi, engari whakamahia te hononga, ka kōrero motuhake mō te whanaungatanga. He rite tonu ō kōrua hiahia, ā, kua kōrerohia e kōrua ngā pukapuka me ngā kiriata tae noa mai ki tēnei wā. Engari nā te mea kei a kōrua te taumata whakamarie, ka taea e kōrua te kōrero mō ō moemoeā me ngā whāinga whanaungatanga mō te wā roa. Ka tino whakahihiri te kite anō i a kōrua.

Whakamahia te mana o ngā kupu hei whakatū i ngā kōrerorero noa ki ngā kōrerorero whaiaro i tō kōrua rā tuatahi . Mā tēnei ka āwhina i a koe ki te hono i te āputa "hoa ki te aroha".

Ngā painga o te whakaipoipo i tō hoa pai

He maha ngā kare ā-roto e puta mai ana i te wā e whakaipoipo ana koe ki tō hoa rangatira. Ahakoa he pai te whakawhiti a ētahi mai i te hoa ki te aroha, ko ētahi kei te tūpono tonu ki te ngaro atu i tō rātou hoa pai. Nō reira, i mua i tō whakaaro ki te whakaipoipo i tō hoa rangatira, he mea nui kia tupato koe mā te mārama ki ōna painga me ōna ngoikoretanga.

• Ka puta noa mai ngā kōrero hei tokorua. Ka taea e kōrua te kōrero mō ngā mea katoa i raro i te rā mō ngā hāora, ā, kāore tonu e hoha.
• Ka taea e koe te pārekareka ki ngā wā kounga me te kore e wehi kei whakahengia koe. Kei a koe taua whanaungatanga hei āwhina i a koe ki te noho hei tangata whakama me te kore e wehi kei whakahengia koe.
• Māna koe e āwhina kia pai ai tō whakaaro mōu anō. I roto i tētahi hapori e tino whakahē ana i ō whakatutukitanga me tō tipu, mā tō hoa pai me tō hoa rangatira koe e whakaara ake tō wairua, e whakatenatena hoki i a koe ki te whai i ō moemoeā.
• Kāore he hononga ki tō hoangā tueke o mua o te whakaariNā te mea kua mōhio kē koe ki tōna hītori whakaipoipo me ōna hoa o mua, nō reira kāore he ohorere kino, he whakakitenga rānei e pā mai ana ki a kōrua mō te whanaungatanga harikoa, hauora hoki.
• He māmā noa iho te whiwhi whakaaetanga a ō mātua mō te marena mēnā kua roa rāua e mōhio ana ki te tāne hei hoa mōu. Nā te mea e mōhio ana rāua, e whakaae ana hoki ki tō kōrua hoahoa, koinei tētahi o ngā painga nui o te noho hoa ki tētahi tāne e piri tahi ana kōrua.
• Ko tō kōrua hoahoa te tūāpapa mō ō kōrua tau hou hei tokorua. Mēnā he hohonu te whakawhirinaki, te pono me te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi, ka nui ake te angitu o te whanaungatanga.

Mō ētahi atu ataata tohunga, ohauru mai ki tā mātou Hongere Youtube. Pāwhiri ki konei.

Ngā huakore o te whakaipoipo i tētahi hoa pai

He ngoikoretanga anō hoki te whai i tō hoa pai hei hoa aroha. Me titiro tātou ki ngā ngoikoretanga, ngā huakore rānei o te whakaipoipo i tō hoa pai.

• Ka taea e koe te whakamātau i tō hoa rangatira kua roa e whakamatautauria ana? He ara kotahi te whakaipoipo i tō hoa pai rawa atu, e kore e taea te whakahoki mai i tō hoa rangatira mena ka whakakahoretia tō tono whakaipoipo.
• Ka taea e kōrua te noho hoa anō me rātou, me te kore e whakaatu i te hae ki ō hoa o muri mai mēnā kāore te whakaipoipo e whai hua mō kōrua tokorua?
• Ki te kore koe e tino aro nui ki a ia, ki a ia rānei e rapu ana i te rebound I muri i te wehenga, ehara i te mea pai te whakaipoipo i tētahi hoa. Ehara i te mea ka tūpono noa tō whanaungatanga roa ki te kore e pai, engari ka whara anō hoki tō hoa pai i te wā roa.
• Kua rite koe ki te wheako i te koretake o te whanaungatanga e huri haere ana? Ki te whakaae ia hei hoa mōu, tera pea ka ngaro atu i a koe tētahi o ō hoa pai i tēnei tukanga.

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Nō reira, whakatauria mēnā he 'hoa tuatahi, hoa rangatira muri ake' kia māmā ake ai te whakangāwari i ngā āhuatanga o te whanaungatanga.

Me pēhea te whakaipoipo i tētahi hoa? 5 Ngā Tohutohu Whai Hua!

He tokomaha o tātou e hiahia ana ki ētahi tohutohu kua whakamatauria, kua whakamatautauria hoki mō te whanonga i te wā tuatahi o te rā ki tētahi hoa, ina koa mēnā kei te mataku koe, kei te pōhēhē hoki i te wā e mahi ana. He mea maori te taumaha mena kua roa koe e whai ana i a ia.

1. Kia rite koe ki a koe anō i tētahi wā whakatā

Kaua e manukanuka ki te āhua o te whanonga i te wā tuatahi o te rā whakaipoipo me tō hoa. Whakakorea te manukanuka me te manukanuka mō te wā whakaipoipo , ā, me haere noa i te ia. Kua whakaae ia kia noho hei hoa whakaipoipo māu, koinei te whakatutukitanga nui rawa atu māu.

Kia tūturu te tangata takitahi, me te whakamōhio atu ki a ia me pēhea e taea ai e koe te tango i taua tūranga tāpiri hei hoa rangatira mōna.

2. Tukua kia tipu te whakahoahoa

He kitenga te whakaipoipo, ā, ka pā ki a kōrua tētahi wāhanga hou o tō kōrua ao. Engari kaua e whakarērea tō kōrua whakahoahoa, koinei te tūāpapa o tō kōrua whanaungatanga.

Engari, me whakatakoto tō kōrua whanaungatanga hei 'hoa i te tuatahi', kia kite ai me pēhea te pumau o tēnei whanaungatanga i roto i te whakamātautau a te wā.

3. Matapakihia ngā painga me ngā huakore

Tae noa mai ki tēnei wā, ko koe anake. Nāna te wā. Kaua e wareware ki ngā mea e rapuhia ana e ia i roto i tētahi hoa rangatira.

Me pēhea te whakaipoipo i tētahi hoa kua roa e mōhio ana koe? Tīmatahia he kōrero mō te āhua o tō kōrua whanaungatanga, ngā mōrearea ka pā mai, me ā rātou tumanakohanga mai i a koe hei hoa whakaipoipo.

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4. Kōrerohia te heke mai

Matapakihia ngā wā e hiahiatia ana e ia hei tātari i te whaihua o tā rāua noho tahi hei tokorua. Whakaarohia ngā hua ka puta, kātahi ka mahi i runga i tēnā.

Ina noho kōrua hei hoa rangatira, ka rerekē tō kōrua tirohanga ki tō kōrua heke mai. Kōrerohia tēnei, kia kitea ai mēnā he ōrite ō kōrua whāinga hei hoa rangatira .

5. Me pēhea te noho piripono ki tētahi hoa?

Me pēhea te whanonga i te wā tuatahi o te rā tuatahi me te hoa? Kaua e pā atu ki a ia i te wā tuatahi, ki te kore e tika te wā. Hoatu te wā tika ki a ia kia whakaae ki tēnei huringa o te whanaungatanga.

Ahakoa kāore he ture e whakaatu ana i te wā tika hei kihi i tētahi kōtiro, me whai i te kare ā-roto. Ki te mea kei te aroha nui ia ki a koe, ā, e pai ana ki a ia te wā hei wahine māu, kāti ka taea e koe te tīmata i te kihi.

Ko tā mātou tumanako ka taea e ēnei tohutohu mō te whakaipoipo i tētahi hoa te whakakore i te pōuri i roto i tō hinengaro, ā, ka whai hua koe ki tētahi hoa me tētahi hoa mō te ora. Mena he 'kōrero hoa kua huri hei hoa rangatira' tāu, tohaina mai ki a mātou i runga i ngā tuhinga Bonobology, kia rerekē ai te ao o ngā whanaungatanga takirua.

Thoughts Final

He haerenga ataahua te whakaipoipo i tētahi hoa, e arahi ana ki tētahi whanaungatanga hohonu, whai tikanga hoki i hangaia i runga i te turanga o te whakawhirinaki me te māramatanga. Heoi, he mea nui kia āta whakaaro me te āta whakaaro ki tēnei whakawhiti. Ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pono, te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi, me te hiahia ki te wikitoria i ngā wero pea, he mea nui ki te huri angitu i tō hoa hei hononga aroha.

Mā te ngākau tuwhera me te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero mārama, ka taea e koe te waihanga i tētahi pūrākau aroha tino ahurei.

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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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