8 Ngā Tohu kei roto koe i tētahi Hononga Whakahoki

Ko ngā whanaungatanga e hoki whakamuri ana he tino pōhēhē, he pouri, he pouri hoki. Ko ngā tohu o te whanaungatanga e hoki whakamuri ana he ranunga o ēnei. Ko tēnei āhua hinengaro pōhēhē he tunu pea mō te aituā, mōu me tō hoa.

Ka nui ake te uaua mena kei te rapu te hoa kē i tētahi hononga nui, kaua i te whanaungatanga poto noa iho. Ko ngā tohu rerekē, te whanaungatanga piripono, te tohatoha me te whakapehapeha i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori me te noho tonu ki te hiahia me te piripono, he tohu mārama ēnei o tētahi hononga e hoki mai ana, me mōhio koe ki ēnei.

Engari i te tuatahi, me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei roto koe i tētahi hononga whakaora? Ki tāu whakaaro, tera pea kei te pai haere ngā mea katoa. Engari mēnā ko te whakaaro anake a tō hoa ko te hoki ki tā rātou hoa o mua, kāore rānei e taea te mutu te kōrero mō rātou, he take tēnei hei āwangawanga. Me ngā whakaaro a te tohunga hinengaro a Juhi Pandey, he tohunga ki te whakaora whānau me te tohutohu hauora hinengaro, me whakamārama tātou he aha te whanaungatanga whakaora me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei roto koe i tētahi.

He aha te whanaungatanga whakaora?

E whakamārama ana te tohunga hinengaro a Juhi Pandey i te mea e kiia nei he whanaungatanga whakaora, "Ina uru te tangata ki tētahi whanaungatanga i muri tata mai i te wehenga, ahakoa kāore anō kia rite ki te noho ki tētahi whanaungatanga. Kua puta kē tētahi tangata i tētahi whanaungatanga roa, ka hopu i tētahi atu tangata hei huna i te mamae me te wikitoria i te mokemoke e pā ana ki a ia"

"Ka uru te tangata ki ngā whanaungatanga whakaora hei whakakore i te mamae me ngā maharatanga o te tangata i arohaina e rātou. Hei āwhina i a rātou ki te neke whakamua i roto i te ao, i ētahi wā ka whakaaro rātou ko te huarahi pai ko te peke atu ki tētahi atu whanaungatanga," tāna tāpiri, me te whakamārama he aha te take i uru ai te tangata ki ngā whanaungatanga whakaora i te tuatahi.

I te pātaitanga mō te roanga o te oranga o tētahi whanaungatanga e hoki whakamuri ana, ka whakahoki a Juhi "Kei te āhua. Kāore e roa rawa te wā ina mōhio te tangata kē atu kua whakamahia noa ia hei wikitoria i tētahi wā uaua. Engari kei te hononga o te whanaungatanga o nāianei te āhua."

He aha ō whakaaro mō te whanaungatanga whakaora? He rongoā ngāwari te whanaungatanga whakaora hei whakaora wawe i ngā patunga o te wehenga, kāore rānei, ka nui ake te kino mō te wā roa i te whakamarie mō te wā poto? He otinga tino tika mō ngā raruraru o te wehenga, kāore rānei, ka tōia koe ki roto i te huringa o ngā whanaungatanga kore angitu , me te mamae nui atu anō hoki?

Ki te tirohia te hinengaro o te whanaungatanga e hoki whakamuri ana, ka kite tātou i muri i te wehenga, ka ngaro te whakaaro nui o te tangata ki a ia anō. Ka noho pōuri, ka noho kore e hiahiatia, ka ngaro hoki.

Koinā te wā e rapu tonu ana rātou i te aro me te whakamana. Ko te tangata e hoatu ana i tēnā ki a rātou, ka taka rātou ki taua tangata. E kī ana te tangata he nui ngā ika i te moana ina raru ana koe i te wehenga. Engari i roto i tō wā pouri me te mokemoke, ko te ika e whai ake nei e pupuri ana i te tatau o Walmart kia tuwhera māu ko 'te tangata' i roto i ō kanohi.

Ngā uauatanga o te whanaungatanga whakamuri

Ka hari ake tō ngākau i te ngākau harikoa o te 'hiahia' e tētahi atu, kāore rānei, ka mōhio koe he hapa nui noa iho te tangata hou i taumautia e koe i roto i te tere me te kaha? Kia pono tātou, kāore he tangata e tere ki te whakaae ki ā rātou hapa. Ahakoa i te rā tuarua ka mōhio pea koe kāore tēnei whanaungatanga whakaora e whai hua ki a koe, ka roa te roanga o te oranga o tētahi whanaungatanga whakaora nā te mea kāore te nuinga e hiahia ki te whakaae kua hē rātou!

Ki tonu i ngā uauatanga, ka taea e tēnei 'pūrākau whakaora' te whakapouri i a koe, ka whakauru i a koe ki ngā whanaungatanga paitini, hauora, mamae hoki. Ā, kāore e taea e koe te whakaaro ki te nui o te kino ka pā mai ki te tangata kē. He aha te whanaungatanga whakaora? Ko te puta atu i te mamae o te ngākau maru ina hinga koe i te aroha ki tētahi, e rapu tonu ana i te mutunga, e waha tonu ana i ō kawenga kare ā-roto , ka kiia he whanaungatanga whakaora.

Ka noho taua tangata hei pou tautoko i tō oranga. Engari i tētahi rā pai, tērā pea ka mōhio koe kāore he hononga i waenganui i a kōrua, kua ora koe, ā, ka oho ake koe ki te meka kāore tēnei whanaungatanga e ahu whakamua ana mōu.

Tērā pea kei te whakaaro koe kei te neke whakamua koe, engari ko te mea pono, kei te herea tonu koe ki tō hītori. Ko tētahi āhuatanga noa ka kitea e koe i roto i ngā pūrākau whanaungatanga kua hoki mai anō, ko te kore e tino pai te mutunga.

Ahakoa te āhua nei ko ngā whanaungatanga e hoki whakamuri ana te huarahi māmā ki te ora, me tatari mō tētahi wā poto, ka pātai ki a koe anō, he pono rānei? Ka taea e koe te tono āwhina mai i ō hoa, te pānui rānei i runga i te ipurangi mō ngā hua o ngā kōrero e hoki whakamuri ana.

Heoi, i mua i tā tātou tirotiro i ngā tohu mō te mea kei roto koe i tētahi hononga hou, me tātarihia tuatahitia te ariā, ōna mōrearea pea me te whaihuatanga mai i tētahi tirohanga koretake.

Pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te hinga i te aroha ki tētahi – 18 Tohutohu hei whakatutuki

Me pēhea te mōhio mēnā he whanaungatanga whakaora?

He urupare ohorere te whanaungatanga hoki ki tētahi wehenga mamae. He wāhanga anō kei roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hoki , ā, ka roa pea i waenganui i te marama me te tau. I te nuinga o te wā, ka kite koe i ngā tohu e ngoikore ana tō whanaungatanga hoki.

E rua ngā huarahi hei whakautu i te wehenga i muri i tētahi whanaungatanga nui. He tokomaha e noho pōuri ana, e tangi nui ana, e pāngia ana e ngā wā mamae o te wehenga. I tuhituhi a Abby mō tana haerenga ki te whare takaro me te whakakore i tōna riri me tōna pouri, i a Kelly e kōrero ana mō te inu i roto i ngā ipu aihikirīmi i ngā wā katoa e pā mai ana te pouri. Engari kei reira anō ētahi atu momo e whiriwhiri ana ki te whakaora i te wehenga mā te whakauru atu ki tētahi atu whanaungatanga, tata tonu.

Ka whai rātou i te ara hei whakawhanaunga atu, hei tūtaki ki ngā hoa pea, ā, i roto i te wā poto, ka uru atu ki tētahi whanaungatanga hou. Tērā pea he torutoru noa ngā rā i muri i te wehenga.

I te nuinga o te wā, ko te nekehanga mai i te whakahoahoa ki te whakaipoipo te huarahi tere rawa atu. Ka kōrero rātou i ngā mea kāore i te tino mārama ki a rātou, ā, ka akiaki i ā rātou hoa hou kia tere ake te haere. 

He whanaungatanga whakaora tēnei e taea ai te whakanui tonu i te whakapehapeha me te whakamanawanui kei reira te ao o ngā tāngata e hiahia ana ki te whakaipoipo anō ki a rātou, engari kāore ēnei wā pai e roa. Arā, ko te tikanga o ngā whanaungatanga whakaora ka taea te titiro hei rautaki neke whakamua kua whakaritea hei whakararuraru me te whakaora i muri i te wehenga mai i tētahi whanaungatanga nui.

He hiahia nui tō ngā tāngata e hiahia ana ki te āwhina i a rātou anō, ā, i ētahi wā, kāore e taea te āwhina i a rātou anō, ā, tata tonu te manukanuka. He poto noa te wā e ora ai, ka whakaatu te hunga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga whakaora i ngā tohu o te koretake o te hinengaro me te kore pumau . Ko ngā tohu whakatūpato o ngā whanaungatanga whakaora ko te noho māharahara me te manukanuka o tō hoa.

Ko te whāinga o ēnei momo whanaungatanga kia hinga, nā te mea, ehara i te mea mō te tangata kē atu, engari mō te tangata anō e ngana ana ki te whakaora i te mamae mā te arotahi i te hinengaro me te kaha ki tētahi tangata hou. I te nuinga o te wā, kāore te tangata e pai ki te whakaae kei roto rātou i tētahi whanaungatanga hou, nō reira i ētahi wā ka roa rawa te whanaungatanga mō te tau kotahi.

Ahakoa te āhua tika i tēnei wā, ka tīmata ngā whanaungatanga whakaora me te whakaaro kia kaua e pumau. Pātai atu ki a koe anō, he huarahi mohio tēnei hei whakakore i te wehenga? He rite te wehenga ki te pātene 'whakamutu' i roto i te oranga o te tokorua. Ka hoatu he wā ki ngā hoa ki te whakaaroaro me te rapu he aha i kore ai e angitu te whanaungatanga o mua.

Ahakoa te mamae o te noho takakau, e whitu ngā wāhanga o te wehenga ka tino whai hua hei tukanga whakaora i te tinana.

He mea whakararuraru ngā paowa i te whakaora ā-tinana o te ngākau maru. Tērā pea kāore anō kia whakatauhia ngā take o mua, ka arahi atu ki tētahi huringa o te whara i a ia anō, te mamae, me te whakamātautau kare ā-roto.

Ngā āhuatanga kino o te noho i roto i te whanaungatanga whakaora

Kāore he tangata e uru ana ki tētahi whanaungatanga whakaora me te whakaaro "ka roa tēnei". Ko te hunga e uru ana ki tētahi whanaungatanga whakaora, e mōhio ana rātou ki te āhua o te whanaungatanga. Kāore rātou e pātai ana, "Kei roto ahau i tētahi whanaungatanga whakaora?", engari e kī ana rātou, "Kei roto ahau i tētahi."

Mai i ngā hononga pō kotahi ki ngā whanaungatanga ngoikore mō te kotahi marama, ono marama rānei, ka pā kino ēnei ki te tangata e hoki mai ana me te tangata hou o te whanaungatanga. Ki te kore koe e wareware ki te wehenga i muri i te hononga aroha, ā, e tino mōhio ana koe ki te tīmata i tētahi whanaungatanga hou, he nui te pānga o ngā āhuatanga kino. Ko ētahi o ngā āhuatanga kino o te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hoki:

1. Ka tomo koe ki te whanaungatanga me te ngenge, te ngoikore, me te māharahara.
2. Mā te noho ngoikore ka nui ake te mōrearea o te tinihangatia me te tukinotia.
3. Kei te haere mai te mōrearea o te whakapehapeha me te whakamahi kino i te tangata mō te moepuku.
4. Tērā pea ka nui haere tō āwangawanga ki te whakawhirinaki ki te hoa hou, ā, ka whawhai tonu koe ki te wehi tonu o Tuhinga
5. Engari ko te whakaoti rapanga hohonu ake, e rapu ana koe i ngā otinga poto noa iho

Nā te mea kua kōrerohia e tātou he aha te whanaungatanga "rebound"? Mena kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga "rebound" kāore i te hauora, tērā pea ka pā ēnei tohu ki a koe.

8 Ngā Tohu o te Hononga Whakahoki

Kia pēhea te wawe o te wā ki te whai hononga i muri i te wehenga? Kei te hiahia koe ki te hoki whakamuri i roto i te whanaungatanga? Kāore rānei koe i te mārama ki tō whanaungatanga o nāianei?

Hei mārama ake i tēnei, anei ngā tohu whanaungatanga e waru e tino hira ana hei tirotiro māu. Tērā pea me whai whakaaro nui koe ki te tautuhi i ēnei tohu, ā, me tūpato koe i te whakatau.

1. Ka tīmata te whanaungatanga i muri tata mai i te wehenga

Kāore he 'wāhi manawa', kāore hoki he 'wā okioki' mēnā ka tīmata te whanaungatanga i muri tata mai i te wehenga. He tokomaha ngā tāngata kua hoki whakamuri ki te whanaungatanga, e whakaaro ana ka mutu te mamae o roto mēnā ka kitea e rātou he hoa hou. Ko Anahita, he kaihokohoko 28-tau te pakeke, kāore i hiahia kia noho ko ia anake, nā te whakarongo ki ngā waiata aroha, te mātakitaki i ngā kiriata romcom ātaahua, tae noa ki te kitenga i ngā pou pāpāho pāpori o ngā whanaungatanga puāwai o tana hoa, i tino pouri ai ia.

Ko te huarahi anake i whakaaro ai ia hei whakatau i te mamae ko te neke atu ki te whanaungatanga e whai ake nei. Ko tēnei whanaungatanga hou te rama ārahi hei whakaora i ngā mamae o te wehenga. I konei, e hiahia ana mātou ki te whakaatu ki a koe te pono o tēnei wā - kei te noho pea koe i roto i te moemoeā o te 'neke atu', engari ko te mea pono, kāore anō kia wareware koe ki tō hoa o mua.

Me pēhea koe e tumanako ai ki te tīmata i tētahi hononga hou me tētahi mea paru? Nō reira, koinei pea te tīmatanga o tētahi hononga hou, ina whakamahia pea e koe tō hoa o nāianei hei wareware i tō hoa o mua, hei mea rānei kia hae ai rātou. Ki te kore koe e hoatu he wā ki a koe anō ki te whakaora, ka pāngia hoki tō hononga o mua e tō hononga o nāianei .

Ahakoa te nuinga o te iwi e whai wā ana ki te whakaaroaro me te whakaaroaro mō te wehenga mēnā kei te tīmata noa kōrua i tētahi hononga hou, ehara i te aroha - engari he hokinga mai ka mutu ki te mamae me te kawa.

2. Hoki atu mō te aroha

He tokomaha ngā hoa aroha kua hoki whakamuri ki te hononga anō me ā rātou hoa o mua hei whakatau i ngā rerekētanga me te tīmata anō. Tērā pea ka tangi rātou, ka ripeneta mō ngā hapa kāore i mahia e rātou, ka tuku i a rātou anō ki mua i te hoa o mua, hei karo noa i te kare kino o te noho mokemoke.

He hunga hiahia nui, he hunga piripono hoki rātou. E whakapono ana rātou ki te whakaaro 'ka hinga te aroha i ngā āhuatanga katoa', tae atu ki ngā rerekētanga o te tokorua, kāore rawa i te pono. Kia mahara, ko te whanaungatanga pakari e ahu mai ana i te māramatanga o te tokorua.

Mena ko te tangata e hoki whakamuri ana te aroha anake te take e mahia ana e ia ngā whakaaetanga katoa, he tohu pono tēnei mō te hononga hoki whakamuri, ehara i te houhanga rongo. Ko tēnei tauira o te hononga kore-kore he hokinga kino me karo i ngā utu katoa.

Ki te hiahia koe ki te whakahoki mai i tō hoa o mua , me whakapai ake i tō āhua i te tuatahi. Mā tō putanga 2.0 pai ake, kua whakapaitia, ka āwhina pea i te whakahoki mai i tō hoa o mua. Heoi, hei tikanga whānui, kāore e angitu te whakahoki mai i tō hoa o mua mena kāore anō kia whakatauhia ngā raruraru matua o te whanaungatanga i pā ki a kōrua.

Ina hoki mai koe ki te aroha, ka mutu ka pouri koe nā te mea kāore i rite te āhua. Ina kite koe kāore tēnei whanaungatanga i te pai ki tērā e hoki mai ana koe, he tohu tēnā i hē koe me whakatika tonu. Engari, ko te whakaae ki ō tātou ake hapa me whai murunga hara me te manawanui o te Dalai Lama.

3. Teiti hei whakaoho i te hae o tō hoa o mua

He tika ngā mea katoa i roto i te aroha me te pakanga. Tērā pea ka aro nui ngā tāngata e hoki whakamuri ana ki tēnei, ka tīmata ki te aro nui ki tētahi hoa o nāianei hei whakaoho i te hae o te hoa o mua. E pai ana hoki ētahi ki te 'whakaari' i tā rātou hoa hou hei whāngai i ō rātou ake whakapehapeha. Mā te kitenga i a koe e neke tere atu ana me tētahi tangata pai ake, ka puta te koretake me te pouri i roto i te hoa o mua, ā, ka hoki mai pea ia ki roto i tō ao i runga i ō ake tikanga. Koinei te mea i tumanakohia e koe i te tuatahi.

Ina hoki, he maha ngā wā ka whakaatu ngā tāngata e hoki whakamuri ana i te riri me te mauahara ki ā rātou hoa o mua, ā, kāore rawa e ngaro atu i a rātou – nā ēnei kare ā-roto kino ka herea tonutia rātou ki tā rātou hoa o mua. Kāore tēnei i te tika mō tō hoa hou, e tīmata ana i tētahi haerenga hou māu. Kāore e taea e koe te whakamahi noa i a ia hei 'hoa toa' hei whakaatu ki tō hoa o mua kua kitea e koe tētahi atu pai ake.

Ki te whakaaro koe kei te hara tō hoa i tēnei, tirohia mēnā kei te kōrero ia ki tana hoa o mua, mēnā rānei kei te horapa noa koe i ngā pāpāho pāpori a tō hoa. Kia kite ai ia i a koe, ka pupuri tonu tō hoa i aua kōrero mutunga kore i runga i ana pāpāho pāpori!

4. Whakauru atu ki tētahi 'mā te kore whakaaro'

Tērā pea ka hoki mai te aroha o tētahi tāne mā roto i ētahi wā poto noa iho. I roto i te nuinga o ngā wā, ka kitea pea koe he Casanova he maha ngā hoa aroha me ngā moe tahi mō te pō kotahi. Engari i roto i te ao tūturu, kua pakaru tō whakapono ki ngā whanaungatanga; e whakaaro ana koe ka mutu ngā aroha katoa i roto i ngā aituā. Koinei tētahi o ngā hua o te wehenga pouri, ina rapu ngā tāne i tētahi hoa noho noa hei whakararuraru i ō rātou hinengaro mai i ngā maharatanga o tā rātou hoa o mua.

Ahakoa ka whakaipoipo koe, ka mau tonu te kupu 'kāore he here'. Ka whakamahia e ngā hoa hou hei whakararuraru, hei whakaiti i ngā kare ā-roto o te mamae, te pouri, te whakama me te mamae.

He uaua ki a koe te wehe atu i tō mua, ā, kāore e taea e koe te tino whakahoki i a koe ki te whanaungatanga o nāianei. Ka kitea koe i roto i tētahi āhuatanga uaua, kāore he heke mai. Ā, he pānga nui tō whanaungatanga o mua ki tō whanaungatanga o nāianei. Nō reira, ki te mea he mataku koe ki te here i muri i te wehenga o tētahi whanaungatanga nui, kei te ara hoki anō koe ki te whanaungatanga hou.

Ka taea e ngā whanaungatanga ngāwari te whai hua mēnā he whakaaro kotahi ngā hoa e rua. Tērā pea ka tautohe ētahi koinei te huarahi pai hei whakaora i te mamae o te ngākau, mena ka kī atu koe ki ō hoa ngāwari koinei anake te mea: he ngāwari. Engari ki te kī atu koe ki tētahi kei roto koe i te whanaungatanga mō te wā roa i a koe e rapu ana i tētahi hoa ngāwari ka mamae te ngākau o tō hoa.

Pānui e pā ana: Kei te hiahia nui ahau ki te moepuku engari kāore au e hiahia ki te mahi i tēnei mea me te kore he aroha

5. Ka kaha ake te kukume tinana i te whanaungatanga kare ā-roto o te tokorua

Kei roto koe i tētahi hononga hei whakangāwari i te moe tahi me tō hoa o nāianei. Ko te whakangāwari te mea nui. Kāore koe e rongo i tētahi hononga kare ā-roto i a koe e moe tahi ana; he hiahia tinana noa iho.

Ki te mea kei roto koe i tētahi hononga e pā ana ki te whakakī i te hiahia ki te taatai, ā, kāore he wā, he kaha rānei ki te whakatau i te tangata kē, ki te whakapuaki rānei i ō ngoikoretanga ki a ia, he tino hokinga mai tēnā.

Kāore he kōrero urunga, ina tīmata te moe tāne, kāore koe e aro ki te āhua o te rā o tēnei tangata. He pai te rapu i te makona o te moe tāne mai i tētahi e mōhio ana ki a koe, engari i raro i te whakapae he roa te hononga, kaua e ārahi i te tangata. Mai i ngā tohu whakatūpato o te hokinga mai o te whanaungatanga, ka taea e koe te kite ngāwari i tēnei.

6. Ka nui ake te kōrero mō te 'mua'

Ahakoa te mōhio, te kore mōhio rānei, ka nui ngā kōrero a te tangata e hoki whakamuri ana mō te hoa o mua , ahakoa he amuamu, he mamae rānei. Ahakoa pēhea, ko aua kōrero whakamā mō te whanaungatanga o mua e tohu ana kāore anō ia kia mutu te aroha ki te hoa o mua, ā, kāore anō hoki ia kia rite ki te neke atu.

I tuhituhi mai a Mohit ki a mātou mō tōna pouri ki te whakarongo ki a Radhika e kōrero tonu ana mō tana hoa o mua, ā, i ia wā ka whakaatu mai ia i te riri, ka mutu tana kōrero, ā, ka tīmata anō i te aonga ake.

I te mutunga, ka mutu tana hononga i te kitenga kua piri tonu te wahine ki tana hoa o mua, engari he maha ngā marama i pau i a ia e whakaora ana i tēnei hononga. Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe kāore anō tō hoa kia neke atu, kōrero ki a ia, ā, hoatu he wā ki a rāua kia whakamārama i ō rāua whakaaro mō te hoa o mua. Tērā pea he mamae tēnei i te tīmatanga, engari ka tino ora ai koe i te raruraru o te hononga i muri mai.

Ahakoa te kī mai a rātou kua neke atu rātou, me tātari koe i ngā tohu, me te kite i te nui me te reo e kōrero ana rātou mō tā rātou hoa o mua. Tērā pea kua whakapono kē rātou kua mutu tā rātou aroha ki tā rātou hoa o mua, engari i te ao tūturu, kāore i pērā. Whakapai ake i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero mō te kaupapa, kaua hoki e whakatata atu ki tēnei kōrero me te riri. Kia mārama, whakaaturia ō whakaaro, ā, kia pai ki te whakarongo.

7. Kaua rawa e kōrero mō tō hoa o mua

Mā te kore e kōrero mō te hoa o mua ka kitea pea he riri, he kore rānei e kati te hononga. Tērā pea ka whakama koe mō te korenga o te whanaungatanga, ā, ka karo pea koe i te kaupapa, ahakoa kua maha ngā marama e noho tahi ana me tō hoa o nāianei. Mēnā kei te huna tonu koe i te mamae o te wehenga i roto i te ao ahakoa kua piripono koe ki tētahi hoa hou, he tohu tēnei kei te hoki anō koe ki te ora.

Ka taea e tēnei te arahi ki te pouri o te wehenga me ētahi atu raruraru uaua. I kōrero a Shanaya mō te āhua o te wiri o tana hoa tāne o nāianei ahakoa te ingoa o tana hoa o mua, ā, i tōna mōhiotanga me kōrero tēnei ki a ia, ka noho ia ki raro, ka kōrero ki a ia mō tēnei mea. I whaki ia i ōna kare ā-roto mō tana hoa o mua, ka wehe rāua, ā, ka hoki anō ia ki tana hoa o mua. He mohio a Shanaya ki te pānui i ngā tohu, ā, i whakaorangia ia i te maha o ngā mamae o te ngākau.

I muri i te whakarere, i te roa rānei o te whanaungatanga, ka kore e tino mārama te tangata e hoki whakamuri ana, ā, ka ngana ki te pehi i aua kare ā-roto. Engari mā te pehi i te whanaungatanga, kei te whakaroa noa koe i te mea e kore e taea te karo.

8. Ka pōuri te ngākau, ahakoa kei roto i te whanaungatanga

Tērā pea ka memeha haere te harikoa o te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga i muri i te wehenga atu i tō hoa rangatira o nāianei, nā te mea kāore anō kia warewarehia e koe tō hītori. Ahakoa te āhua pai o waho, kei roto tonu koe i te kore o te makona ki te ao. Tērā pea he raruraru whakawhirinaki kei a koe , ā, he nui tō wehi kei whakakahoretia, ka noho ngoikore koe ki te tukino.

Tērā pea ka pōuri, ka pouri, ka kawa hoki koe i ēnei kare ā-roto kāore anō kia tau, ā, ka whakaatu ki te ao he tangata whakamuri koe. He take anō tēnei e tika ana kia noho tahi koe me koe anō i muri i te wehenga nui. Akohia te noho tahi me koe anō, me te whakaora i ngā mamae kua pā ki roto i a koe. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te rapu i ngā kupu "he aha te whanaungatanga whakamuri" i te wā e whai ake nei ka uru koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga, e tika ana?

Kia pēhea te roa o te whanaungatanga whakaora?

He pātai uaua rawa te kimi mēnā ka angitu te hokinga whakamuri i muri i te wehenga. E ai ki ngā rangahau , ahakoa ka angitu ētahi hononga hokinga whakamuri, ko te nuinga kāore. E kiia ana neke atu i te 90% o ngā hononga hokinga whakamuri kāore e roa atu i te 3 marama.

E whakapono ana ā mātou tohunga Bonobology , ko te nuinga o te wā ka tīmata ngā hokinga whakamuri me te awe kino, ā, kāore he heke mai mō rātou. Ko te tikanga, kāore te tangata e hoki whakamuri ana me te hoa o nāianei e whakaae ana ki ngā āhuatanga o te tokorua.

Kia angitu ai te whanaungatanga, me mahi tahi ngā hoa e rua ki te whakatutuki i tētahi whāinga kotahi. Engari mā te whakahokinga mai o te whanaungatanga ka huri te āhua, ina kore rāua e aro nui ki tēnei whārite.

Engari i ētahi wā tino onge, ki te mārama koe ki tō hoa o nāianei mō tō hoa o mua, tera pea ka whai hua anō tēnei hononga tika ā muri ake nei.

Ki te pono tō rātou hiahia ki a koe, ka āwhina rātou i a koe ki te ora ake i ngā āhuatanga kino, me te whakarērea angitu i ngā taumahatanga o te whanaungatanga o mua. Kei raro nei ētahi o ngā huarahi māmā e roa ake ai te noho tahi anō.

1. Whakarērea ō tumanakohanga mō tētahi whanaungatanga pumau

He huarahi haumaru kia ata haere, kaua e tere rawa te mahi. Kia arotahi ki ngā āhuatanga pai o tō hoa 'hou', ā, kia whai wā ki te mōhio ki a ia. Kaua e arotahi ki 'au, ki ahau anō', engari me mārama ki ngā āhuatanga pai o tō hoa. Hurihia tō tirohanga, kia kitea ngā mea e ātaahua ana ki a ia. Whakamātauria kia kitea ō rātou āhuatanga pai, kia pai ai te whanaungatanga hou.

2. Tatari mo te wa tika

Kaua e tatari kia angitu te hokinga mai o te hononga i roto i ngā marama e 2-3. Hoatu he wā. Kōrero ki tō hoa 'o nāianei' me te kī atu me whai wā koe. Whakawhirinaki mai ki a mātou, mā te whakatata atu ki te hononga hou me te manawanui me te whakapau kaha ka roa ake te roa o te whanaungatanga. Engari anō, me noho tahi kōrua kia kite ai i te tūmanako mō te whakapau kaha mō te wā roa.

3. Motuhia rawatia tō hononga ki tō hoa o mua

Ki te hiahia koe kia wareware rawa atu ki tō hoa o mua i te wā e hono ana koe ki a ia, karohia tetahi momo whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ki a ia. Kaua e whai i a rātou, kaua hoki e uru ki ngā mahi pēnei i te tuku karere takirua . Whakakorehia rātou i ō kōtaha pāpāho pāpori, mukua rānei tā rātou nama waea mai i tō waea pūkoro. Me noho tawhiti atu i a rātou, ki te pai koe ki tō hoa, ā, e hiahia ana koe ki te whakapakari i tēnei hononga.

4. Kia mōhio he kino te hokinga whakamuri

He kino ngā wehenga. Ahakoa i mutu te hononga, i whakarērea rānei koe e tō hoa, ka raru tonu koe i te pouri nui me te koretake o tō ao. Kāore e ngāwari te whakahaere, te whakatau rānei i tētahi o ēnei. Heoi anō, ehara i te huarahi hauora te tīmata i tētahi hononga hou hei whakakī i te āputa.

Hei karo i ngā raruraru me ngā whārite whakapoauau o te hokinga mai o te aroha, ka kī atu ā mātou tohunga Bonobology kia whakapaua he wā nui ki te wikitoria i te wehenga, kia pai ai te tīmatanga o tētahi hononga hou. Whakapaua te wā ki te ngākau nui me te tukatuka i ō kare ā-roto i mua i tō hokinga atu ki te ao whakaipoipo.

Ki te mea kei te raru koe i tēnā taha, whakamahia pai ngā aratohu wehenga maha kei reira. Nā ngā tohunga, nā te hunga rānei kua wikitoria i ngā āhuatanga ōrite i roto i ō rātou ao i tuhi, ka taea e ēnei pukapuka āwhina-whaiaro te āwhina i a koe ki te ara tika hei whakaora i te mamae o te ngākau. Mēnā kua wareware koe ki tō hoa o mua, ā, kua tino rite koe ki te hanga hononga aroha hou, ka taea e koe te tuku i tō 100% ki tētahi tangata hou me tētahi whanaungatanga hou.

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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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