15 Ngā Tohu Matua Me Whakamutu Tō Hononga

Ehara i te mea uaua te wehe i te whanaungatanga, engari he mea nanakia. Koia te take he maha ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e noho tahi ana i roto i te whanaungatanga kino, e whakaae ana ki te iti iho i te mea e tika ana mō rātou, ā, e pupuri ana ki te tumanako ka pai ake ngā mea i tētahi rā. Ki te mea koinei tō āhua, kua tae ki te wā ki te tīmata ki te whakaae ki ngā tohu me wehe koe, ka neke atu. Ko te pono kino, ina kapi te whanaungatanga i ngā raruraru, kua mutu, ā, he onge te pai o ngā mea i te wā roa.

Ae, he uaua te hoki anō ki te ao takakau. Kāore he tangata e hiahia ana ki te whakamutu i tētahi whanaungatanga, ā, kāore he tangata e hiahia ana ki te tīmata anō. Ahakoa te āhua whakamataku o ngā tīmatanga hou, kāore e taea e koe te piri ki ngā mea kua mōhiotia, kua whakamarietia hoki mēnā kei te whakapouri i a koe. Mā mātou koe e āwhina ki te kimi i ngā tohu pea e tika ana kia wehe kōrua ko tō hoa, kia taea ai e kōrua te mahi i tētahi hikoinga ki te whakahoki mai i tō kōrua harikoa.

Nā, me pēhea koe e mōhio ai kua tae ki te wā hei wehe? I tēnei rā, kei a tātou he tohunga hinengaro Akanksha Varghese (MSc Counseling Psychology) ki a mātou, hei āwhina i a koe ki te mārama ki ngā tohu e hiahia ana koe ki te wehe me te whiriwhiri i tō ara. 

15 Ngā Tohu Matua Me Whakamutu Tō Hononga

Ko te mea kei te rapu koe i te ipurangi mō ngā tohu me wehe kōrua, e tohu ana kāore i te pai ngā mea katoa i roto i tō pararaiha aroha. Engari anō, he hapa tō ia whanaungatanga, he raruraru tō ia tokorua, he raruraru hoki tō ia tokorua. Mēnā koinei te āhua, me pēhea e whakatau ai koe mēnā he tika ō raruraru me ō rerekētanga kia wehe? He aha ngā tohu? me wehe kōrua me tō hoa rangatira?

Ka pā tēnei raruraru ki te hinengaro o te tangata kua whakaaroaro mō te noho tonu, te neke atu rānei. Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe "He aha ahau i whakaaro tonu ai ki te wehe i taku hoa tāne/wahine?", kua tae ki te wā ki te rapu i te whakautu. Hei whakamutu i tō pōhēhētanga, me te mōhio he aha koe me wehe atu ai mō ake tonu atu, kei a mātou he rārangi o ngā tohu mārama e 21 me aro nui koe ki:

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1. Kei te pupuri koe i ngā mea o mua

He āhuatanga tō ia whanaungatanga wā honi ina tino pai ngā mea katoa. Ko te whakamātautau tūturu mō te pai o te noho tahi a te tokorua ka tīmata i muri i te memeha haere o tēnei tai o te aroha. Mena kei te mau tonu koe i roto i ngā maharatanga o mua, e mau tonu ana ki ngā maharatanga o te pai o tō hoa i aua rā tuatahi, ko te tikanga kāore he mea hei pupuri i tēnei wā, kāore hoki he ara whakamua ki te heke mai.

Tērā pea he tohu tēnei momo takoto kau kua tae ki te wā hei wehe i tō hoa wahine, i tō hoa tāne rānei. E tika ana kia noho tahi koe me tētahi e tika ana kia whakapaua ngā wā katoa ki a ia.

2. Kei te hikoi koe i runga i ngā anga hua manu

He maha ngā wā, me titiro koe ki roto, kaua ki tō hoa rangatira, ki tō whanaungatanga rānei. Kei te mataku koe i ngā mea katoa, me te mea kei te hē tō whakatau i ia rā, i ia rā? Mena kei te ngana koe ki te whakahaere i tētahi whanaungatanga mā te noho hei tangata ehara koe i te tangata, kei te kino koe ki a koe anō me tō hoa rangatira. Ko ēnei mataku kei a koe ngā tohu me wehe atu koe i tō hoa rangatira. He pai ake te tuku atu, me te hanga i tētahi oranga e tupu ai tō āhua tūturu, kaua e whakauaua i a koe anō.

Anei ētahi pātai hei whakaaroaro māu i mua i te mutunga o ngā mea:

• Kei te pēhia koe e tō hoa nā te mea kāore koe i te tino mōhio he aha te mea ka whakaoho i a ia, ka puta rānei te riri?
• E pehi tonu ana koe i ō whakaaro, e whakahaere ana hoki i ō urupare ā-ira?
• He wehi kei te noho ko koe anō, kei whakarērea tō hoa?

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3. Kua mutu kē mēnā kei te mauahara kōrua tetahi ki tetahi

I ētahi wā, ka mahi tetahi o ngā hoa, ngā hoa rānei e rua i ngā mea e tino mamae ai tetahi atu. Engari i te whakaoti i ēnei raruraru, kua pehia e koe te mamae me te riri, kua huri nei hei mauahara. He tohu tēnei kei roto koe i ngā pakitara o te mauahara, ā, he tohu pea tēnei mō te wehenga atu i a rāua. 

E pātai ana a Tasha, he kaitoi nekehanga mutu, 30 tau te pakeke, ki tā mātou tohunga, "E hiahia ana ahau ki te wehe i taku hoa tāne engari e mataku ana ahau kei puta ke taku whakaaro. Nō nā tata nei ahau i kite ai ko taku whakautu ki ia ngana ki te whakatau i ngā tautohe ko: 'He aha ahau me mahi ai i TĒNEI, i te mea kāore e taea e taku hoa te mahi i TĒNEI?' Kei te āwangawanga ahau. Ka wehe rānei tāua?" 

AkanksKa whakautu a Ha, "Kāore e taea e au te whakautu i tēnā māu. Engari whakaarohia tēnei: ​​Kua rapu koe i ngā tohu hei wehe i a ia? He tino kino te kare ā-roto o te mauahara nā te mea kei te whakaaroaro koe ki ngā mea o mua me ngā taumahatanga kare ā-roto e mau ana i a koe. I roto i ngā whanaungatanga, mā te noho tonu ki ngā mea o mua ka piki ake te kare ā-roto, ka nui ake te mauahara. Ka taea e tēnei te arahi ki ngā whanonga pukuriri me te mea kei te hiahia koe ki te whiu hinengaro i tō hoa. Ko te kimi i ngā hapa, te arotahi ki ngā ngoikoretanga o te whanaungatanga, me te pupuri i ngā hapa o tētahi ki tētahi he hua katoa o te mauahara. Ehara tēnā i te whanaungatanga hauora."

I te nuinga o te wā, ko te tikanga hoki tēnā kōrero hauora kua pakaru rawa te whanaungatanga i waenganui i ngā hoa e rua. Ki te rapu tohu koe me wehe kōrua, he mea tēnei hei aro atu i mua i te huri hei whanaungatanga tukino.

4. Kei te kanikani tonu koe, ā, kāore anō kia kanikani anō

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu matua me wehe atu kōrua ko te haere tonu o te wehenga me te hoki tahi. Kei te haere tonu rānei kōrua ki te whakataa i te whanaungatanga. Ahakoa e mārama ana me noho tawhiti te tokorua i a rāua e mahi ana i ngā wā uaua, kaua e waiho hei tauira, hei tikanga rānei.

Mena kua neke atu i te kotahi tō wehenga, ā, kua mau koe i roto i ngā āhuatanga kino o te wehenga, he pono kei reira ētahi take kei raro i te maru. Ko tētahi o ngā tohu nui tēnei kua mutu te wehenga. Kāore pea koe i te mōhio he aha te take hohonu rawa atu, he mea whakamataku rawa atu. Tērā pea te ngākau māhaki i roto i te whanaungatanga, te hoha noa, tētahi atu mea rānei. Ki te kore e kitea he huarahi hei whakatau i ēnei raruraru, ko te wehe te whakatau pai rawa atu.

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5. Nāu te mahi i ngā mahi katoa o te whanaungatanga

Ae, me whakapau kaha tonu ngā hoa e rua ki ngā whanaungatanga. Heoi, ki te mea kei a koe te kawenga mō te pupuri i te whanaungatanga kia mau tonu, he tohu tēnei kua tata te wehenga. Tērā pea ko koe tonu te tangata e hiahia ana ki tēnei. tuku karere takirua rātou, te waea atu rānei ki a rātou i muri i tētahi rā roa ki te tirotiro i a rātou. Tērā pea kei te noho pūmau koe, kei te warewarehia hoki e rātou, ā, ko te mea iti rawa e taea e rātou ko te tae atu ki tētahi rā i te wā tika. Tērā pea kei te wehi koe kei noho mokemoke koe. Engari kāore he wā pai hei wehe i a koe.

Tērā pea ka ngenge koe, ka kore hoki e mōhiotia e tētahi wā, e tētahi wā ka pāngia koe e tētahi āhuatanga kino o te whanaungatanga. Ina tupu tēnā, ka pōuri koe. Kāore e pai te haere. He aha e kore ai e mutu te whakatōtō i a koe anō ināianei, kaua e tatari kia tae ki te wā e pakaru ai? Ko te mutunga o te whanaungatanga i te wā e tika ana, koia te otinga pai rawa atu i ētahi wā.

6. Kua tae ki te wā ki te wehe mena kua tinihanga koe, kua tinihangatia rānei

Ko te tinihanga i roto i te whanaungatanga he mea nui atu i te tinihanga tinana, tae atu ki te tukino kare ā-roto me ngā pakaru pūtea. Whai muri i taua wā, mō te tini o te tangata, kua mutu. E whakanui ana a Akanksha i te uaua o te hanga anō i te hononga i muri i te tinihanga, me te kī ko te whakawhirinaki he mea nui. E mea ana ia, "Ko ngā hua o muri ka puta te wehi me te manukanuka, ka ārai i te houhanga rongo. Ki taku titiro, ko te wehenga ara he nui ake i te petipeti o te whakaora."

A ako e tautoko ana i te kōrero a Akanksha. E mea ana, "I kitea te hononga o te kore whakapono ki te pouri, te manukanuka, te PTSD i ētahi wā, te whakahekenga o te whakaaro ki a ia anō, ngā take piripono, me ētahi atu."

Ko ngā whanonga kino pēnei i te kore whakapono, te tinihanga mau tonu, me te huna i te tangata ka whakakino i te whakawhirinaki, he mea nui tēnei mō te pakari o te whanaungatanga. Ki te kore he whakawhirinaki, ka ngaro te rangimārie me te rangimarie, ka raru te whanaungatanga i ngā take hohonu ake. Ka tautoko a Akanksha i te whakatairanga i te harikoa whaiaro i te mamae roa. Ko te whakawhirinaki te tūāpapa; ko tōna ngaro ka whakakore i ngā whanaungatanga, ā, he mea nui kia aro koe ki ngā tohu kino.

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7. Kua kōrerotia mai e ō hoa me tō whānau ki a koe

Me pēhea koe e mōhio ai kua tae ki te wā ki te wehe i tō hoa? Āe, whakaarohia te tahuri ki te hunga e arohaina ana e koe. Kua tuhia pea e rātou ngā tohu katoa me wehe koe i tō hoa. Mena he nui te aroha o tō whānau me ō hoa ki a koe, ā, he pai ki a koe ō rātou hiahia, ā, ki te kore rātou e pai ki tō whanaungatanga, kāore rānei e pai ki tō hoa, tera pea ka kite rātou i tētahi mea kāore koe i kite.

Ehara i te mea kino te tirohanga a te tangata tuatoru, ina koa mēnā ka noho tahi rāua i ia wā. Tērā pea kei te aroha rawa atu kōrua, kei te aro nui rānei ki te whakaaro kia angitu. Whakarongo ki ā rātou tohutohu, ā, kaua e aro ki te āhua tūturu o tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Tērā pea ka kite koe kua tika tonu tā rāua kōrero.

8. Kei te tau tō noho, ā, kua whakararuraruhia tō tirohanga ki te ao

Tērā pea ka kitea koe i roto i tētahi huringa o ngā whanaungatanga pouri, e mataku ana ki tētahi atu whiunga o te mamae me tētahi atu wā uaua. Ko te wehi o te mokemoke i tētahi wā o te oranga, ko te roa rānei o te whanaungatanga me tō hoa, tērā pea ka waiho hei mea whakamataku te whakaaro ki te whakamutu i ngā mea. Engari ko te noho ki te iti iho i te mea e tika ana māu, he tohu anō hoki tēnei mō te wehenga. Me whakaaro koe ki te wehe i a koe anō.

E tika ana kia whiwhi te katoa i tētahi hoa rangatira e whakanui ana, e aroha ana, e manaaki ana i a rātou. Ahakoa he mea noa te whakaae tahi, kaua e waiho te patunga tapu ki roto i taua mea. He mea nui te pupuri i ō uara matua; kaua e tukua kia noho tahi noa me tētahi kāore e rite ō whakaaro. He Reddit kaiwhakamahi i tuhituhi tika, "He raruraru nui ko ētahi mea kāore e taea te whakataurite. Ko ngā mea pēnei i te whānau tamariki, te huri whakapono, te hiahia rānei ki tētahi whanaungatanga tuwhera he rerekētanga kāore e taea te whakatau, ā, me neke atu koe."

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9. Ko te whakaititia me te whakatoi he tohu me wehe koe

He uaua te whakamutu i tētahi hononga ki tētahi e arohaina ana e koe, me te kore e whara i a rātou. Engari i roto i tēnei āhuatanga, me tū koe mōu ake, kātahi ka wehe atu i tēnei hononga. Ki te mea ka meinga koe e tō hoa kia whakaaro kāore he painga mōu i ngā wā katoa, ehara i te hononga e tika ana kia uru atu. Ko tētahi o ngā tohu nui tēnei e tata ana te wehenga. Anei ētahi tauira o te kore whakaute i roto i te hononga:

• Te whakakore tonu i ō rohe, i tō wāhi whaiaro rānei — he rite ki te kī kāore he aha tō whakamarie
• Te whakakore i ō kare ā-roto, te kore rānei e whakamanawanui i a koe ki te whakapuaki i ō kare ā-roto
• Te maka kupu whakatoi, te whakaputa kōrero kino rānei — he whakahāwea tēnei e tākaihia ana ki ngā kupu mamae
• Te noho puku tonu, te karo rānei i ngā kōrero i te wā e whawhai ana. Ka ārai i a koe ina ngana ana koe ki te whakatau i te raruraru.
• Te kore aro ki ō uara matua me ō mahi, te mahi rānei me te mea kāore he aha ō takoha

Ko tēnei momo waiaro me te atawhai he tohu i te kore whakaute, ā, he momo tukino kare ā-roto. Mena he tohu kē atu pērā i te tukino ā-waha, te ngā kīanga whakakā hau kaua e whakahawea ki ngā kōrero e pā ana ki a rātou. Kāore he take e manawanui ai koe ki tēnā. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu e tika ana kia wehe atu kōrua.

10. Kei te ngenge koe i roto i te whanaungatanga

Tērā pea ka hiahia koe ki tētahi pā aroha, ki tētahi kupu whakamarie, ki tētahi tohu aroha rānei. Ehara i te mea kāore tō hoa e whakatutuki i ēnei hiahia, engari kāore hoki koe e kite i tētahi huarahi hei whakapuaki i ō tumanakohanga me ō hiahia ki a rātou i roto i tētahi huarahi e pā atu ai ki a rātou. Ko ngā ngana katoa ki te whakapuaki i a koe anō ka tūtaki ki te whakahāwea, ki te whakatoi rānei. Mā te kore aro ka whakaaro pea koe "E hiahia ana ahau ki te wehe i taku hoa tāne engari e mataku ana ahau kei puta ke taku whakaaro" - mehemea ka tīmata anō ia ki te atawhai i a koe. 

E kī ana a Akanksha ki a tātou, "He rite te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero hauora ki te hāora i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ki te mea kei te mau tonu tō whakaaro te warewaretanga ā-hinengaro, ngana ki te kōrero kanohi ki te kanohi ki a rātou. Kaua e whiriwhiri i te reo whakahē, kaua e whakamahi nui i te kupu 'koe', ā, me whai kawenga mō ō kare ā-roto. Ki te kore e taea e rātou te whakarongo ki a koe, ā, kāore te kōrero e pai, tera pea tētahi o ngā tohu hei wehe i a kōrua, hei kawe mai rānei i tētahi kaitohutohu.”

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakaaro kāore koe e rangona ina whakaipoipo ana koe. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu kua mutu te whanaungatanga. Ahakoa kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga, ki te mea kei te ngenge koe i te ngākau, kāore e kore me mutu te whanaungatanga.

11. Kua mutu tō manaaki, ā, kei te karo koe i te whanaungatanga piripono

Ko te kore o te manaaki, ehara i te aroaro o te mauahara, te tohu o te ngaronga o te aroha i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ko te kore aro ki te mutunga o te ngana. Ina kore e whakaoho ake te hae, te manukanuka rānei i ngā mahi pēnei i te takaro pō, i ngā haerenga pō rānei, e whakaatu ana i te kore aro ki te ahunga o te whanaungatanga. He take nui tēnei hei wehe i a kōrua. Ahakoa ehara te whanaungatanga i te mea nui, kāore e taea te whakakore i tōna hiranga ki te here i ngā hoa. 

A ako e kī ana, "I whakaatuhia e ā mātou hua ko te hunga i kite i ngā taumata iti o te utu i roto i te whanaungatanga he nui ake te tūponotanga ka pāngia e te wehenga." E mea ana hoki, "Ahakoa he maha ngā maimoatanga me ngā wawaotanga a ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua arotahi ki te whakaiti i ngā tirohanga mōrearea me ngā āwangawanga i roto i te whanaungatanga, e mārama ana ā mātou kitenga ko te mea nui e whakatau ana i te noho tahi me te hoa ko te nui o te utu e tukuna ana e te whanaungatanga."

I konei, ko te kore o te utu me te whanaungatanga piripono kua arahi ki te kore aro. Mena ka panaia koe e te whakaaro ki te whanaungatanga piripono, ā, kei te kaha koe ki te karo i tēnā, he tohu tēnei kua tae ki te wā ki te wehe. Ina koa mena kei te mau tonu ngā hiahia engari kāore e pai te whakapuaki i aua hiahia ki tō hoa. Waihoki, ko te kore aro ki te oranga o tētahi ki tētahi he nui ake te kōrero i te mauahara.

Ko te tohutohu a Akanksha:

• Ehara i te moepuku anake te whanaungatanga ā-tinana. Kei roto hoki ko ngā mea aroha pēnei i te pupuri ringa, te awhi, te mirimiri rānei tetahi i tetahi.
• He tohu ēnei mō te whakamarie, ā, e whakaatu ana i te nui o te whakapau kaha o te tangata ki tētahi whanaungatanga.
• Ki te kore he whanaungatanga piripono, he pā rānei, tera pea he raruraru kei te pararaiha.

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12. Me wehe atu koe mēnā kei te pirangi koe ki ētahi atu, kaua ki tō hoa rangatira

Kua puta ake ō kare ā-roto ki tētahi hoa mahi? Kei te whakawhirinaki atu koe ki tētahi hoa tawhito hei tautoko i a koe, kaua ki tō hoa rangatira? He whakaaro tonu rānei tēnei i ēnei rā, "Ka wehe tāua?"? Mena kei te hiahia koe ki ētahi atu, ā, kei te whakarite koe kia tutuki ō hiahia ā-hinengaro, ā-tinana rānei i ētahi atu wāhi, kua tae ki te wā kia ara ake koe, kia hongi i te kawhe. Kei roto koe i te raruraru nui, e te rangatira.

Ko te mea nui kia mōhio koe kua mutu kē tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Kei te whakaroa noa koe kia pakaru rawa. Kia mōhio ki ngā tohu kāore kōrua ko tō hoa e tika ana kia noho tahi anō, ā, whakamātauria te oati. tīmatanga hou — ngā whakaaro kua roa nei e maumahara ana koe ki ēnei.

13. Ka whawhai tonu koe, ka totohe hoki, ā, ka harikoa koe i a koe anō

Ahakoa he mea noa ngā tautohetohe i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, ko te tauira hauora ko te whakatau me te anga whakamua. E kī ana a Akanksha, "Ko te mauahara me te pouri ka whakatupu i ngā tautohetohe tonu, ka hanga he huringa paitini. Mena ka whakahaerehia tō whanaungatanga e ngā pakanga me te kore e whakatauhia, he tohu pai tēnei kia whakaarohia e koe te wehenga."

He Reddit kaiwhakamahi e whakapuaki ana, "I ngā marama e rua whakamutunga o te whanaungatanga, i neke atu ahau ki te tirotiro mēnā kua rerekē taku hauora hinengaro, ā, kua pai ake. I taea e au te whakawhirinaki ki aku whakaaro, ki ōku kare ā-roto, me ōku pūmanawa. I te mutunga, i whawhai nui māua mō ngā haora e 4, ā, i taku hokinga ki te kāinga, i waea atu ahau ki tētahi hoa. I pātai atu ahau ki a ia me aha ahau, ā, ka mea ia 'E mōhio ana koe ki tāu e hiahia ana kia mahia.' Nō reira i wehe atu ahau i a ia i te rā i muri mai."

Ki te mea he whakamarie te mea e puta mai ana i te ngaro o tō hoa, kaua i te hiahia nui, he tohu pea tēnei kia tika te mahi, kia mutu te whanaungatanga. He mea nui te mōhio ki te rerekētanga i waenga i ngā tautohe hauora me te ngangau tonu hei whakatau i te āhua o tō whanaungatanga.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakamutu i tētahi whanaungatanga i runga i ngā tikanga pai

14. Kāore kōrua e ngahau tahi ana

Whakaarohia ēnei pātai i mua i te whakamahere i ngā mahi me tō hoa:

• He tino pai ki a koe te whakapau i te wā kounga me tō hoa?
• Kei te rongo koe i te harikoa, te kata, me te ngākau māhaki i a koe e mahi tahi ana, e kōrero tahi ana rānei me tō hoa rangatira?
• Āhea te wā whakamutunga i uru atu ai kōrua ko tō hoa ki tētahi mahi i harikoa ai kōrua, i hihiko ai, i tino whakangahau ai hoki?
• He maha ngā wā ka pārekareka koe ki te ngahau me te ngākau māhorahora i roto i tō whanaungatanga, he maha rānei ngā wā ka ahua taumaha, ka ahua taumaha hoki?

Ko te ngaronga o ngā wā harikoa he tohu pea kei te memeha haere te hononga, he tohu āwangawanga mō te heke mai o te whanaungatanga. Kua tae pea te wā ki te wehe i te whanaungatanga nā te mea kāore e taea te pupuri i ngā maharatanga mai i te wā o te honi marena hei pupuri i te hononga.

I te tīmatanga, kāore pea i te tino kitea te rerekētanga o ngā tuakiri i waenganui i te ngākau nui me te kukume. Heoi, i te roanga o te wā, ka huri ngā kaupapa matua. Ka kore e tino mārama te roa o te ora mēnā ka taupatupatu ngā whāinga, ngā uara, ngā matea taketake rānei o te ao. He mea nui te mōhio wawe ki ēnei tohu hei ārai i te mamae hohonu. He mea nui kia aro ki ēnei tohu whero, kia whakaarohia te wehenga, kaua e whakaroa i tētahi hononga kore e taurite.

Te pānui e pā ana: 7 Ngā Mea Kāore tetahi e Kōrero ki a Koe mō te Wehenga

15. Kua whakaaro koe mō te wehe

Kei te whakaaro tonu koe "He aha ahau ka whakaaro tonu ai ki te wehe i taku hoa tāne/wahine?" Mena kei te whakaaro tonu koe ki te pakaru Ki tō hoa rangatira, kāore he wāhi e toe ana mō te koretake me te whakaaroaro. Tangohia noa te whitiki. He tino pai ki a koe me tō hoa rangatira. He uaua ki te wehe i te tangata e arohaina ana e koe me te kore e whara i a ia, koinei pea te take i whakaroa ai koe. Engari ki te whakaroa koe, ka uaua haere.

He aha ngā take pai hei wehe i te tangata e arohaina ana e koe?

Kāore koe e hiahia ki te hanga i tētahi rārangi painga me ngā huakore mō tēnei, engari he mea anō hei whakaaroaro māu. Kua kitea kētia koe e koe i roto i tētahi āhuatanga e aroha nui ana koe ki tō hoa, e manaaki ana hoki i a koe, engari kei te ahua hē tetahi mea? He maha ngā wā ka māramahia tēnei ina memeha haere te aroha. Engari, me pēhea rā ina mau tonu te aroha? He take tika anō hei whakamutua he whanaungatanga ahakoa kei te kaha tonu taua aroha? 

Ahakoa e aroha ana koe ki tētahi, ā, kāore koe i roto i tētahi tūponotanga tata mai i a rātou, he rite tonu ki te mutunga o tētahi hononga kāore e angitu. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ahakoa te aroaro o te aroha, ka taea e ngā āhuatanga ngaro te whakamana i te kōwhiringa o te mahi i te hononga, te kōwhiringa uaua rānei o te wehe i ngā ara hei oranga mōu ake me te harikoa.

Anei ētahi take hei whakaatu ki a koe kua tae ki te wā kia tukuna te whanaungatanga ahakoa kei te aroha koe ki tō hoa:

• Ngā whāinga rerekē o te ao: Ina rerekē rawa ō wawata mō te wā roa me ngā huarahi o te ao, ka taea e tēnei te waihanga i tētahi āputa e kore e taea te whakatau i roto i te heke mai o te whanaungatanga. Ahakoa te aroha, ka ārai pea ēnei rerekētanga i tētahi haerenga whai hua tahi.
• Ngā āhuatanga hauora kore: Ki te huri te whanaungatanga hei mea kino, arā, he mahi tukino, he mahi tinihanga, he mahi whakahē tonu rānei, he mea nui te whakarite i tō oranga hinengaro me tō oranga kare ā-roto. Kāore te aroha e whakamana i te paitini tonu.
• Te korenga o te tipu tahi: He maha ngā wā ka whakatairangahia e te whanaungatanga hauora te tipu whaiaro me te tautoko i ngā wawata takitahi. Mēnā ka aukatia e te hononga te ahunga whakamua whaiaro, ka kore rānei e whakatenatena i te whanaketanga tahi, ka ārai pea i tō whakatutukitanga whānui me te whakapai ake i a koe anō.
• Te kore hototahi matua: Ahakoa te aroha, i ētahi wā, ka uaua te pupuri i tētahi whanaungatanga taurite, whai hua hoki i ngā rerekētanga taketake o ngā uara, o ngā whakapono, o ngā whiringa momo noho rānei. Tērā pea ka whakararuraru ēnei rerekētanga i te whanaungatanga, ka puta tonu te kore harikoa.
• Te kore ōrite o ngā kare ā-roto: Ahakoa te aroha, he mea nui tonu te hototahitanga o ngā kare ā-roto. Mēnā he hiahia kāore anō kia tutuki, he momotu nui rānei i roto i te whakapuakitanga/whakamanatanga o ngā kare ā-roto, ka mau tonu pea te koretake o te ngākau. Ka pā tēnei ki te hauora whānui me te makona o te whanaungatanga.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakatau i te whakamutu i tētahi whanaungatanga i te wā e hapu ana

He miriona ngā take e huihui ai ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki te hanga hononga. Ā, he miriona ngā take e noho tonu ai te tangata i roto i ngā hononga, e whai hua ai. Ahakoa ngā āhuatanga, kaua te wehi kei noho mokemoke, kei tīmata anō rānei i te tīmatanga e waiho hei tetahi o aua mea. Kāore he wā pai hei wehe i te whanaungatanga, engari ki te taea e koe te hono atu ki te nuinga o ēnei tohu, he pai ake te mahi inaianei me te whakatau tika. Ka mutu tonu tō whanaungatanga i tētahi ara, i tētahi ara rānei.

15 Ngā Tohu Ka Pakaruhia e Ia Tō Ngākau

7 Ngā Take Kāore e Taea e Koe te Kai i Muri i te Wehenga + 3 Ngā Mahi Māmā Hei Whakahoki Mai i Tō Hiahia Kai

Me pēhea koe e mōhio ai kua mutu rawa te whanaungatanga?

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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