6 Ngā Tohu Ahi Kāore Ia e Hiahia Ana ki te Hononga ki a Koe

Kia mataara ki ēnei tohu hei tiaki i tō ngākau

Ngā Tohu Kāore Ia e Hiahia Ana ki te Hononga ki a Koe
Porohia te aroha

Kei te tuku karere poroporoaki anō koe ki a ia, me te whakaaro kei hea te ahunga o tēnei. I roto i tōu ngākau, kua tīmata koe ki te kite i ngā tohu kāore ia e hiahia ana ki tētahi hononga ki a koe. He rawe pea ia i ō kōrua wā whakatā engari kāore ia e kōrero mō te whakapau kaha. I kī pea ia kāore ia i te rite mō tētahi hononga engari kei te tumanako koe ka huri ia i tōna whakaaro.

Mā tēnei aratohu e whakamārama ngā kare ā-roto me ngā whanonga e ruarua ana koe. Ka wehewehea e mātou ngā tohu matua kāore ia e hiahia ki te whakapau kaha, ki tētahi mea nui rānei, ka whakamāramahia te tikanga o ia whanonga, ā, ka whakamāramahia hoki ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi i muri mai. 

1. Kāore ia e whakamārama i te whanaungatanga

Ripanga o Ihirangi

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu mārama kāore ia e hiahia kia motuhake ko te karo tonu i "te kōrero". 

  • I ia wā ka ngana kōrua ki te whakamārama ko wai kōrua tetahi ki tetahi, ka karo ia i te kōrero, ka huri rānei i te kaupapa
  • Tērā pea ka mea ia "ka uaua ngā mea nā ngā tapanga" ka whakapae rānei koe mō te pēhi i a ia, ka meinga koe kia whakama mō te hiahia kia mārama.
  • Kaua ko koe anake e ngana ana ki te kia mōhio koe ki tō tūnga. Ki te kore ia e pai ki te kōrero mō taua mea, tera pea nā te mea kāore ia i te whakaaro ki te mahi i tētahi mea

tauira:
Koe: "Ki tāu titiro kei hea tēnei e ahu mai ai mā tātou?"
Ia: "Me tautuhi anō rānei tātou i tēnei? E pai ana ahau ki ngā mea kei a tātou. Kaua e whakakinotia ki ngā tapanga."

2. Ka Totoro Atu Ia i te Wā e Wātea Ana

Ko ngā whanaungatanga hauora he mahi tahi. Ki te kite koe ko koe tonu te tangata e tuku karere ana, e whakarite ana, e waea atu ana rānei, he tohu mārama tēnā o te iti o tōna aro. Ki te tino aroha te tāne ki a koe, ka kitea e ia he huarahi hei whakapā atu ki a koe, hei whakauru atu hoki i a koe ki roto i tōna ao. Kia aro ki ana tauira. 

  • Ka whakapā atu rānei ia ki a koe i ngā hāora rerekē anake, i ngā wā rānei e hiahia ana ia ki tētahi mea?
  • E hia ngā rā kāore ia e tuku karere ana ki a koe, ā, ka hoki mai me te kī noa mai "kia ora" ina pai ki a ia?
  • Ko ia "te parāoa"koe; te tuku karere kuputuhi whakawai, te aro rānei kia nui hei pupuri i tō tumanako, engari kāore e whai i te kaha tūturu?"

He tika kia nui atu i ngā kongakonga noa iho āu. Mēnā he pukuriri ia ki te kōrero, he pukuriri rānei, he pukuriri rānei ia ina hiahia noa ia, he iti noa iho tana whakapau kaha ki te taha hinengaro.

Te pānui e pā ana: 15 Ngā Tohu o te Wehenga Kare ā-roto i roto i tō Hononga

3. Kei tawhiti ia i te taha hinengaro, kāore rānei e wātea ana

Ko te tāne kāore e wātea ana ōna kare ā-roto, ka karo i te ruku ki tētahi mea e āhua piri rawa ana, e āhua ngoikore rawa ana rānei. 

  • He māmā noa iho āna kōrero, he papaku noa iho hoki
  • Tērā pea ka harikoa ia ki te kata, ki te kōrero rānei mō te mahi, engari kāore ia e pātai mai mō ō whakaaro mō tetahi mea
  • Ki te kōrero koe mō ōu ake take pēnei i ō mataku, tō tamarikitanga, te huarahi rānei e anga atu ai tōu ao, ka whakarerekē ia i te kaupapa, ka iti rānei āna whakautu.

Ko te kore o te whanaungatanga piripono tētahi tohu nui o te kore hiahia ki te whakahōhonu ake i te hononga.

te korenga o ngā kare ā-roto
Kāore ia e aro atu ina kōrero koe mō ngā kaupapa whaiaro

Tērā pea he momo piripono karo tōna

He maha ngā wā, ka honoa tēnei whanonga ki tētahi te āpitihanga karo momo. He nui te tūponotanga o te tangata e piripono ana ki te karo i te tangata ki te wehe atu ina pāngia ia e te ngoikore o te kare ā-roto. Tērā pea ka nui ake tōna mana motuhake i tōna whanaungatanga, ka pehia ngā kare ā-roto hohonu hei tiaki i a ia anō. 

"He maha ngā wā ka kitea ngā hoa karo he hunga tawhiti, he hunga whakahawea, he hunga pana atu i ētahi atu kia kore ai e whara."

Kia mārama ahau, ahakoa te take, ehara i te mea māu te tātari hinengaro, te whakatika rānei i a ia. Tērā pea ka noho tonu koe mēnā e pai ana ia ki te whawhai ki tōna wehi mō te whanaungatanga, engari ki te kore, he pai ake te wehe atu.  

4. Te kore o te haumi wā

Ko tētahi atu tohu nui ko te āhua o tana tohatoha i tōna wā māu me te nui o te wā. He maha tonu ōna wā e koretake ana:

  • Te whakakore i ngā rā,
  • Ka wareware ki te waea atu, 
  • he uaua rānei ki te tautuhi? 

Ki te mea he iti noa iho te wā e kite ai koe i a ia i roto i tana hōtaka, he tohu tēnā kāore ia e hiahia ki te hanga i tētahi āhua o ia rā, i tētahi aroaro pumau rānei i roto i tō koiora. 

Te pānui e pā ana: He aha te wehenga o te whanaungatanga, me pēhea te whakahaere?

a. Ngā rā whakamahere

Kei te whakarite mahere ia i mua, kei te tatari tonu rānei koe mō tētahi karere kuputuhi i te meneti whakamutunga? Mena he maha ana wā ka oma atu i te meneti whakamutunga, ka ngaro atu rānei mō ngā rā i muri i tētahi wiki whaiāipo Ki te huihuia, he haki whero taua tauira pōrearea. 

Hei tauira, ki te mea i tētahi meneti ka tino aroha ia ki a koe, ka pupuhi i tō waea pūkoro, ka whakarite i tētahi wā, ā, i te meneti i muri mai ka huna ia i a koe mō te wiki, kāti kāore ia e aro nui ana ki a koe kia whakaute i tō wā me tō kaha. 

b. Whakawhitiwhiti

He mea nui te auau o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero. Ko te nuinga o te hunga e hiahia ana ki tētahi ka whakapā atu pinepine. Nō reira, ki te mea he onge noa iho ōu rongonga atu i a ia, tera pea ko koe tana kōwhiringa whakakapi.

Pouaka Māwhero: Ina hoki, kotahi ako mō ngā whanonga whakaipoipo e kitea ana e tata ana ki te haurua o ngā tāne e pupuri ana i te wahine ki te "muri" ka whakapā atu ki a ia kotahi noa te wā i te wiki, ā, e 7% noa iho i whakapā atu ki taua tangata whakaipoipo i ia rā. 

C. Ngā rā tūturu me ngā rā pō

Mena ko te nuinga o ō wā whakangahau he "Netflix me te whakangā" i te pō, engari kāore ia e kawe i a koe ki ngā rā tūturu, ki ngā haerenga rānei i te awatea, he raruraru tēnā. Ae, he pai te noho i roto i te whare, engari ki te hiahia noa ia ki te kite i a koe mō te moe tāne, i te wā watea rānei, he tohu tēnā i tōna hinengaro ngāwari. 

D. Kāore he Whakamōhiotanga ki ngā Hoa, ki te Whānau rānei

Mena kua torutoru marama kōrua e whakaipoipo ana, ā, he tauhou tonu koe ki ana hoa katoa, ā, kāore tōna whānau e mōhio kei te noho koe, he mea nui tēnā. haki wheroTērā pea ka mea ia he "tūmataiti" ia, kāore rānei e kawe mai i te tangata ki te kāinga kia tino mōhio rā anō ia, engari ki te kore ia e whakaatu i tētahi nekehanga i tēnei taha, kia tūpato. He tohu tēnei kāore ia e kite i a koe hei hoa mō te wā roa.

"Ki te kore ia e whakauru i a koe ki roto i tōna ao, e whakaatu ana i te iti o tana whakauru pono ki a koe."

He aratohu noa: 

  • I roto i te toru marama pea, ki te mea he tangata pono te tangata, e tumanakohia ana kia tūtaki koe ki tētahi, ki ētahi rānei hoa, ki tētahi tuākana, teina rānei. Kāore e hiahiatia he mea nui, engari ka puta he whakataki.
  • Ki te kore ia e ārahi i a koe ki tētahi atu i muri i ētahi marama, he tohu tēnā kāore tō kōrua whanaungatanga e ahu whakamua ana.
  • Ahakoa e pai ana ia ki te noho tahi me koe, kāore ia e pai ki te whakauru i a koe ki tōna ao tūturu
6
Kia pēhea te roa e tatari ai koe i mua i te whakauru i tētahi hoa aroha ki ō hoa/whānau?

5. Ngā Tohu Whakaranu, Ngā Whēkenga Taupatupatu rānei

Ka tino pāpouri ngā tohu rerekē. I tētahi wā ka aroha ia, ka reka; i tētahi wā ka mātao, ka tawhiti, ka ngaro rānei. Mā tēnei whanonga werawera ka huri tō kare ā-roto. Ko te tikanga kei te takaro ia i tō hinengaro, ahakoa i āta whakaarohia, kāore rānei. 

Te parapara

Ko ētahi tāne ka mahi i tēnei hei momo "whakaiti i te aroha," ka tukua iho he kongakonga iti o te aroha hei pupuri i a koe kia mau tonu, engari kaua e piri. I roto i te wā, ka taea e ēnei tohu whakaranu te whakangaro i tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō me tō hinengaro pai.

Hei tauira, anei ētahi tauira noa o ngā tohu whakaranu i roto i te whakatauira:

a. E mea ana ia e tino pai ana ia ki a koe, engari kāore ia e whakarite i ngā mahere tūturu kia kite i a koe 

Tērā pea ka nui ana mihi ki a koe, ka kī atu rānei ia "Kei te ngaro koe i ahau," engari kāore ia e whai i tētahi wā tino pai. He koretake ngā kupu kāore he mahi e rite ana.

b. He mahana, he whakaipoipo ia i tētahi rā, kātahi ka wareware i a koe i tētahi atu rā

Tērā pea i te Mane ka tuku karere ia ki a koe i te rā katoa, ka karanga i a koe "babe," engari i te Tūrei, i te Wenerei rānei, ka huna e ia ō karere. Ko tēnei yo-yo o te aroha, kātahi ka noho tawhiti, he pukapuka ako. te whanaungatanga wera me te makariri.

Te pānui e pā ana: Ngā Kēmu Hinengaro i roto i ngā Hononga — Te Āhua me te Take e Mahi Ai te Tangata

c. Ka kōrero ia mō tō heke mai, kātahi ka ngaro atu

I tētahi wā o te whanaungatanga piripono, ka mea pea ia "Me haere tāua i te raumati e tū mai nei" ka kōrero rānei mō tō tūtakitanga ki tōna whānau i tētahi rā. Engari i muri iho, ka ngaro atu ia mō te wiki, ka mahi rānei me te mea kāore taua kōrero i puta. Ka waiho koe kia pātai mēnā i whakaarohia e koe tōna hihiri.

d. E kī ana ia kāore ia e hiahia ana ki tētahi atu, engari kei te whakamahi tonu ia i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo

Tērā pea i kī atu ia ki a koe "Kāore au e kite i tētahi atu" hei whakamarie i a koe, engari kei te kite tonu koe kei te whakamahi tonu ia i a Tinder, kei te kōrero rānei ki ngā "hoa" e ahua nei he hoa tata pea. He rerekē ana mahi i ana kupu.

e. I whakaurua koe e ia ki ana hoa, engari kāore tonu ia e whakaae kia motuhake koe

He tino pōhēhē tēnei: ​​e ahua ana kua uru atu koe ki roto i ētahi wāhanga o tōna ao, engari kāore ia e pai ki te whakatakoto tapanga mō tō kōrua whanaungatanga, ki te whakamana rānei. He pana-tōia noa iho: i tētahi meneti ka whakaaro koe, "Āe, kei te kaha haere tāua ki te whai whakaaro," ā, i te meneti i muri mai ka whakamahara ia ki a koe "ehara kōrua i te hoa tāne-wahine."

f. Kāore e taea te matapae i tōna aroha

Ka pupuri ia i tō ringa, ā, ka aroha ia i tētahi wiki, kātahi ka noho tawhiti, ka riri rānei i te wiki e whai ake nei. Ko tēnei hurihanga te tohu o ngā karere ranu. I tētahi rā ka noho ia ki runga i a koe, e kī ana i tō rawe; i te rā e whai ake nei, kua tirotirohia tōna kare ā-roto ā, e rite ana koe ki te hikoi i runga i ngā anga hua manu.

He aha ngā tāne ka mahi pēnei ai? I ētahi wā he koretake te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, he koretake rānei te whakatau. Engari i ētahi wā, nā te mea kāore anō ia kia tino rite ki te whakapau kaha, kāore rānei i te tino hiahia, ā, kei te whai tonu ia i a koe kia whakatau rā anō ia i tana mahi. 

Ngā Tohu Whakaranu i roto i te Teití

6. Ētahi atu haki whero hei tirotiro māu

Haunga ngā mea nui i runga ake nei, kei reira ētahi atu tohu ārai ka kitea i roto i te tāne ina kāore anō ia kia rite mō te whanaungatanga. Kia tūpato hoki ki ēnei tohu whakatūpato:

a. He hekenga ohorere o te kaha

I ētahi wā ka kite koe i tētahi panonitanga o tōna hiahia. I te tīmatanga pea i aro nui ia, ā, inaianei kua hoki whakamuri ia, i mua rānei i harikoa ia ki te kite i a koe, ā, inaianei kua ki tonu ia i ngā whakamārama. He tohu pea ēnei kāore ia e hiahia ana ki tētahi whanaungatanga ki a koe.

"Mēnā he tino heke te auau, te hihiri rānei, ko te tikanga kei te hoki whakamuri ia i ōna kare ā-roto."

b. Hononga taumata-mata anake

He harikoa ia ki te pārekareka ki te whanaungatanga ā-tinana me te ngahau māmā, engari ka karo ia i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero hōhonu. Hei tauira, ko ia:

  • He pai ki te takaro, ki te kihi, me te katakata
  • Kāore rawa he kōrero nui mō ngā kare ā-roto
  • Whakarongo mai mēnā ka puta ake he kōrero kare ā-roto

tenei kore hononga aronganui e tohu ana i te iti o te haumitanga kare ā-roto. Ko tāna e kī ana ko te hiahia ia ki ngā "wāhanga pai" o te whakahoahoa, me te kore e whakapau kaha ki te hono kare ā-roto tūturu, ki te māramatanga rānei.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me aha koe mēnā kei te momotu koe i tō hoa?

c. Kāore ia e kōrero mō ngā kōrero ā muri ake nei

He aha tāna e kī ai ina whakahuatia e koe ngā mahere ahakoa kotahi, e rua rānei ngā marama i mua, pērā i te, "Tērā pea ka taea e tāua te haere ki taua kōnohete i te wā e tū mai nei" me te "He aha tāu mahi mō ngā hararei?" Ki te karo ia, ki te mea rānei "Kāore e taea e au te whakaaro ki tērā tawhiti," kia tūpato. Ko te tangata e hiahia ana, e kore e mataku ki te whakarite mahere mō āpōpō me koe.

Ki te mea ka whakamā ia i a ia e kōrero ana mō te heke mai, nā te mea kāore ia e kite ana i a koe i roto i tōna oranga mō ngā rā kei te heke mai.

e. Ngā kōrero mārama "kāore he whanaungatanga"

Hei whakamutunga, ā, ko te mea nui rawa atu, whakarongo ki āna kupu. Mēnā i kī ia kāore anō ia kia rite mō tētahi whanaungatanga, kāore rānei ia e hiahia ana ki tētahi mea nui i tēnei wā, whakaponohia ia. Tērā pea he mea whakamatautau ki te whakaaro "tērā pea ka huri tōna whakaaro", engari ka tino tohutohu mātou kia kaua e pērā, me tēnei anō hoki. Reddit kaiwhakamahi.

"Kei te harikoa ia ki te whakaaetanga o nāianei, engari kāore koe, ā, kei te tumanako koe, ki te haere tonu koe ki te whakaae, ka huri tōna whakaaro ā muri ake nei: Whakakorea rawatia taua whakaaro i roto i tō hinengaro"

- Reddit kaiwhakamahi.

Ki te kite koe i tētahi, i ētahi atu rānei o ēnei haki whero tāpiri i te taha o ngā tohu matua, he tino mōhio ake kei te kāore i te rite ki te whakapau kahaHe tohu ia o ēnei whanonga e hiahia ana ia ki tētahi mea noa iho.

Te Tikanga o ēnei Tohu

He tino mamae te ngākau i te kitenga i ngā tohu maha mai i te rārangi i runga ake nei. Nā, he aha te tikanga o te whanonga pēnei a te tāne? I roto i ngā kupu māmā, ko te tikanga kāore ia i te pai ki te tuku hononga pumau ki a koe. Ahakoa ko tōna āhua, ko tōna hītori, ko āna kaupapa matua rānei te take, ko te hua ko te kore e tutuki ō hiahia. Me wehewehe tātou i ētahi take matua:

1. Te wehi o te whakaraerae

He wehi tūturu tō ētahi tāne mō te whanaungatanga piripono, te whakapau kaha rānei. I te taha hinengaro, tera pea he momo piripono karo tō rātou, ā, ka tino kore e pai ki a rātou te piripono. Ka tiakina e rātou tō rātou mana motuhake, ā, ka "mauheretia" mēnā ka piri rawa atu tetahi ki te taha kare ā-roto. Ko ngā tohu? Ko tā mātou i kite ai: 

Ka panaia koe e rātou kia kore ai rātou e pāngia e te taumahatanga, e te whara rānei. Ā, me te tūponotanga ka rite koe ki tētahi rīpene pakaru, e hiahia ana ahau ki te whakamahara anō ki a koe ko tana raruraru te mea hei whakatika, ehara i tāu.

Te pānui e pā ana: 8 Ngā Wehi Noa i roto i ngā Hononga - Ngā Tohutohu a ngā Tohunga hei Whakakore

2. Te wehi o te whakapau kaha

E pā ana ki tēnā, tera pea he mataku nui tōna ki te herenga. Tērā pea he nui tōna aroha ki a koe, engari kei te mataku tonu ia ki te herenga e pā ana ki tētahi whanaungatanga. Ko aua whakamārama katoa mō te kore e rite, he maha ngā wā ka puta ko tēnei wehi. Ā, ki te kore ia e wikitoria i taua wehi, ka noho tata tonu koe ki a ia.

3. E pai ana ia ki a koe… engari kāore i te rawaka 

He uaua tēnei ki te horomia, engari i ētahi wā ko te pono ngāwari ko tōna pai ki a koe, engari kāore i te taumata e hiahia ana ia ki tētahi whanaungatanga ponoI te ao o te whakaipoipo, kāore e ranea te aroha ki tētahi hei ārahi i tētahi whanaungatanga; me whai rite, me whai kare ā-roto kaha hoki. Mena kei te whakaatu ia i ēnei tohu, tera pea kāore ia i te tino whakapono ko koe te "tangata" māna. 

"E pai ana ia ki a koe engari kāore i te rawaka hei whakamana i a koe. Ki te puta mai te kotiro tino tika, ka rerekē tana whakautu."

4. E hiahia ana ki ngā painga, kaua ki ngā kawenga

He maha o ēnei whanonga e whakaatu ana i tētahi tauira: e tino harikoa ana ia ki te whiwhi aroha, tautoko, āe, whanaungatanga ā-tinana mai i a koe, engari kāore ia e hiahia ki te kawenga o te noho hei hoa tāne. Tērā pea kāore ia e hiahia ki te whakaipoipo i ētahi atu i tēnei wā, ā, e pai ana ki te noho motuhake ki a koe, engari kāore hoki ia e hiahia ki te tū hei hoa pono. He tūnga whaiaro tēnei, he pono.

"Ko te mea pai rawa atu e hiahiatia ana e ia ko ngā mea e rua. Ngā mea pai katoa mai i tētahi whanaungatanga kāore he kawenga."

Kaiwhakamahi Reddit

5. Ngā kaupapa matua/wā rerekē o te ao 

I ētahi wā, ko te take ko te wā, ko ngā kaupapa matua rānei. Tērā pea ka tino pāngia ia e:

  • mahi
  • kura
  • Whainga Whaiaro
  • Ahakoa ngā take e toe ana mai i tētahi hononga o mua

Tērā pea kāore anō ia kia rite ki te whakarite i ngā mea nui mō tētahi whanaungatanga nā tōna āhua i te ao. Heoi, kia maumahara: ahakoa koinei te āhua, kāore e rerekē te mooni kāore e taea e koe te akiaki i a ia ki te whakarite anō i ngā mea nui. Kaua koe e tatari roa kia "rite" tētahi.

Nā, he aha te whakamāramatanga whaihua? Mena he maha ngā tohu e whakaatuhia ana e te tāne e tūtaki ana koe, he tohu tēnei kei te whakaiti ia i te tūponotanga o te whanaungatanga. Mā te mōhio ki tēnā ka taea te whakamāmā i a koe: ka taea e koe te mutu te tātari nui i ō nekehanga katoa, me pēhea rānei te "whakamātautau" i a koe ki a ia. Engari, kia kite ko tana whanonga he whakaata i ana kaupapa matua me tana hinengaro i tēnei wā.

Tohutohu Whakawhanaungatanga mō ngā Wahine

Me aha koe i muri mai

Ahakoa i kī ia kāore ia e hiahia ana ki tētahi hononga ki a koe, i kite rānei koe i ngā tohu, he uaua pea te kite. Tērā pea ka pōuri koe, ka ārahihia, ka whakamahia rānei. Engari nā te mea kua mārama tō tirohanga ki te āhuatanga, ka taea e koe te mahi hei tiaki i a koe anō. Anei ētahi mahi hei whakaaroaro:

1. Hoki whakamuri, whakaaroaro

Tuatahi, me whakaaroaro pono koe ki a koe anō.

  • Kei te tutukihia ō hiahia i konei?
  • Kei te tino harikoa koe ki te āhua o nāianei?
  • Kei te awangawanga koe, kei te kore hoki e makona i te nuinga o te wā? 

I ētahi wā ka tino aro tātou ki te nui o tō tātou aroha ki tētahi, ā, ka wareware tātou ki te pātai mēnā he pai tēnei whanaungatanga mō tātou. Mēnā he āwhina, hangaia he rārangi: he aha tāu e hiahia ana mai i tētahi hoa rangatira me tētahi whanaungatanga? Kei te hoatu e ia aua mea ki a koe? He maha ngā wā, mō ngā tāne e whakaatu ana i ngā tohu i runga ake nei, ko te whakautu he kāo.

2. Kōrero pono

Ki te mea kāore anō kia kōrero tika atu koe mō tō tūnga, whakaarohia te tīmata i tētahi mō te wā whakamutunga. Kōrerotia mārire, mā te tika hoki ki a ia te mea e rapu ana koe. 

  • Ki te mea ka kōrero teka ia, kei a koe te whakautu 
  • Mehemea i mea ia e kore ia e hiahia ki te hononga, ātete i te hiahia ki te tautohetohe, ki te whakatenatena rānei i a ia, e kore koe e whiriwhiri i tētahi kia piripono. Ināianei kua mōhio koe

"Ki te mea ia kāore ia i te pai mō tētahi whanaungatanga, whakaponohia ia. Ki te mea ko tētahi whanaungatanga tāu e rapu ana, haere tonu." –

Kaiwhakamahi Reddit

3. Whakatakotoria he rohe mōu ake

Ki te whakatau koe ki te haere tonu ki te kite i a ia i ngā wā katoa, whakatakotohia ngā rohe kare ā-roto hei tiaki i tō ngākau. 

  • Kaua e whakarērea ō mahere katoa nā te mea ka hiahia ohorere ia ki te haere mai
  • Kaua e whakangao nui atu i te kaha kare ā-roto i a ia
  • Ki te mea he mamae rawa atu mōu te noho "hoa pai" ki a ia, kaua e pena. 
  • Kāore he aha te kī atu, "E aroha ana ahau ki a koe, engari kei te rapu ahau i tētahi atu mea, ā, kāore e taea e au te mahi noa i tēnei mahi" 

"Ko te tautohetohe ki te whakatakoto i nga rohe ko te whai maia ki te aroha ia tatou ano, ahakoa ka raruraru tatou i etahi atu."

– Brené Brown, Kairangahau 

Mā te whakatakoto i tētahi rohe pēnei i te whakaiti i tō wātea, i tō aroha rānei, ka pouri pea ia, engari he mahi aroha me te whakaute ki a koe anō. Kei te whakatairanga koe i tō oranga i tōna wā pai.

4. Kia mohio ki te wa e haere atu ai

Ki te kore he mea e rerekē, me whakaaro nui koe ki te haere atu. Noho ki roto i tētahi whanaungatanga taha-kotahi ka roa noa iho tō mamae. He mea whakamataku pea te wehe atu nā te mea:

  • Tērā pea ka tino aroha koe ki a ia
  • E wehi ana koe kei noho mokemoke koe
  • Ko te tumanako pea ka hoki mai ia

"Ki te mea ko te whanaungatanga pono tāu e rapu nei, ā, kāore e taea e ia te whakatutuki, kua tae te wā ki te neke atu, ki te kimi i tētahi hei hoatu i tāu e hiahia ana."

- Kaiwhakamahi Reddit

Mā te haere atu koe e tuku i a koe kia wātea. Ka tuwhera koe ki te tūtaki ki tētahi e rite ana ki te tūtaki ki a koe i te taumata e hiahiatia ana e koe. Ae, he mamae mō te wā poto, engari ko te noho ki tētahi āhuatanga kāore e taea te whakaoti i te ara ka mamae tonu ake ake.

WaitohuHe aha e hipokina anaKo tōna tikanga i te nuinga o te wāAha ki te mahi i
Ka karo ia i te tautuhi i te whanaungatangaKa karo i ngā tapanga, ka karo i ngā kōrero mō te motuhaketanga, ka pupuri i ngā mea kia pōuriuriE hiahia ana ia ki te ngāwari, kaua ki te kawengaPātai tika kotahi; mātakitaki i ngā mahi, kaua i ngā whakamārama
Ka tīmata noa ia ina wāteaNgā karere kuputuhi pō, ngā takiuru ā-wā, māu e whakamahereHe iti te kaupapa matua, he kōwhiringa koeKati te hoatu nui; whakatakotohia he rohe mō te urunga atu
Te whanonga tawhiti i te kare ā-rotoKa karo i ngā kaupapa hohonu ake, kāore he ngoikoretanga, he hononga taumata-mataTe korenga o ngā kare ā-roto, ngā hiahia karo, te iti o te whanaungatanga kare ā-rotoKaua e ngana ki te "whiwhi" i te whanaungatanga tata; whakatauhia mēnā e tutuki ana i ō hiahia.
Te kore o te haumi wāNgā whakakorenga maha, ngā mahi huna, ngā whakawhitiwhiti kōrero koretakeHe iti te haumitanga me te iti o te riteMe rite tonu; kaua e whakaaetia ngā kongakonga
Kāore he whakataki ki ngā hoa/whānauKa wehea koe i tōna aoKāore he whakaaro mō āpōpō, kāore he whakaurungaWhakatakotoria he whakamātautau mārama: "Kei te hanga tahi tāua i tētahi oranga tūturu?"
Nga tohu whakauruTe whanonga wera me te whanonga makariri, ngā kupu/mahi taupatupatu, te whakapoauau i te whakaaroE hiahia ana ia ki ngā painga me te kore e whakapau kahaHoki whakamuri, kia mau tonu te pumau, kia tiakina te whakaute i a koe anō

FAQs

1. Kia pēhea te roa me tatari ahau i mua i te pātai atu ki a ia mēnā e hiahia ana ia ki tētahi whanaungatanga?

Kaua e roa rawa. Kāore he ture pakari, engari i roto i ngā marama e rua o te tūtaki tonu, he tika kia mārama te āhua o tō tūnga. Inaa, he maha ngā tāngata e "kōrero ana mō te whanaungatanga" i muri i ngā marama e 2-3 o te whakaipoipo mena kāore anō kia mārama noa. 

2. Ka taea e ēnei tohu te huri i roto i te wā?

Ka taea e te tangata te tipu ake, ka taea hoki e ngā āhuatanga te whanake. Hei tauira, tera pea ka hinga i te wehi o te whakapau kaha, ka whakatau rānei i ngā raruraru whaiaro i te mutunga. Heoi, kāore he taurangi ka tupu tēnā, ā, ehara i te mea ka taea e koe te whakahaere, te akiaki rānei. Ko te mōrearea o te tatari kia huri ngā tohu, ka noho pea koe i roto i te koretake o te whakaaro mō ngā marama, ngā tau rānei. 

3. He wehi noa iho rānei ia i te whakapau kaha, kāore rānei ia e hiahia ana ki tētahi whanaungatanga?

Tērā pea tētahi, tētahi rānei, he ranunga rānei o ngā mea e rua; engari ko te mea nui, kāore koe e whiwhi ana i tētahi whakapau kaha i tētahi ara. Koinei te mea me arotahi koe. Ehara i te mea māu te noho hei kaiwhakaora hinengaro māna, te tatari rānei kia mutu tana wikitoria i te wehi.

Tohutohu Matua

  • He pai ake te pumau i te matū. Ki te wera, ki te makariri hoki ia, he tohu kino tēnā.
  • Ki te karo ia i te tautuhi i te whanaungatanga, kei te whiriwhiri ia i te koretake
  • Ki te mea ka toro atu ia ki a koe i te wā e pai ana ki a ia, ehara koe i te mea nui
  • Ki te kore koe e whai wāhi ki tōna ao tūturu, he tohu tēnā kāore ia e kite ana i tētahi heke mai me koe.
  • Kāore e taea e koe te whakatenatena i a ia kia piripono. Kōrero tika atu, ā, ki te kore ia e rite, haere atu.

Thoughts Final

Whakawāteahia he wā, ka pātai atu ki a koe anō: Kei te harikoa ahau ki te āhua o ngā mea? Kei te mōhio ahau he mea nui ahau, he haumaru hoki ki a ia? Mena ko te whakautu he kāo, tukua koe kia whiriwhiri i te mea pai ake mō tōu ao. Kia ora, ā, tiakina tō ngākau i te tuatahi.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.




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