Ka whai hua rānei ngā whanaungatanga whakaora?

Kāore i te tino rerekē te aro atu ki te mamae o te ngākau o tētahi whanaungatanga o mua i te mate o tētahi e arohaina ana. He rite tonu te āhua. Ina mutu tētahi whanaungatanga, ka pāngia koe e ngā wāhanga e whitu o te pouri, ahakoa ko koe te tangata nāna i mutu. Ā tōna wā, me aro atu koe ki tētahi āputaputa i roto i tō ao, ā, me whakakī koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga hou. He whanaungatanga whakaipoipo, he hononga noa, he whanaungatanga whakawhiti i muri i te wehenga, he whanaungatanga kore ingoa rānei – he whakaaro pai te whakaaro ki tētahi mea ka taea te whakamāmā i te mamae o te mamae. Heoi, i mua i tō urunga atu ki te mahi, me pātai atu, "Kei te whai hua ngā whanaungatanga whakahou?"

Ko te peke tere rawa ki roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, te peke atu ki tētahi whanaungatanga hou i mua i te pouri me te wikitoria i ngā taumahatanga o mua, koinei te mea e kiia nei ko te whakaoranga o te whanaungatanga. Ko te mea kino rawa atu mō tēnei whakatikatika rangitahi, ehara i te mea ka rahua noa iho te whakamamae i te mamae o te wehenga o mua, engari ka nui ake te mamae nā te noho tahi me tētahi kāore pea koe e aro nui ana ki a ia, ā, ka mutu te hononga.

Ahakoa te mōhio ki te mutunga o te nuinga o ngā whanaungatanga e hoki whakamuri ana, he uaua ki te ātete i te whakamatautauranga ina pāngia koe e te mamae o te ngākau pouri. Nā te whānui o ēnei whanaungatanga ka ara ake te pātai - ka whai hua ēnei whanaungatanga, kia pēhea te roa i muri i te wehenga ka kiia he hokinga whakamuri, ā, he aha te tikanga ka puta ina mutu te whanaungatanga e hoki whakamuri ana? I roto i tēnei tuhinga, Anushtha Mishra (MSc. Counseling Psychology) me te tohungatanga ki ngā whara, ngā whanaungatanga, te pouri, te manukanuka, te pouri, me te mokemoke, ka āwhina i a tātou ki te kimi i ngā whakautu ki ēnei.

He aha te reiti angitu o te whanaungatanga whakaora?

Ahakoa he pono, kāore he tatauranga e taea te matapae tika i te heke mai o tētahi whanaungatanga, mehemea rānei ka angitu te whakaoranga i muri i te wehenga, he rangahau kua mahia hei mārama ki te hinengaro whanaungatanga whakaoranga e whakarato ana i ētahi tirohanga ki ngā au me ngā whanonga tangata i roto i ēnei āhuatanga. Ina kua wehe atu koe i tētahi whanaungatanga, ko ngā pātai pēnei i te mea mehemea ka angitu ngā whanaungatanga whakaoranga, he aha ngā mea e pātaihia ana? ngā wāhanga whanaungatanga whakaora, me te roa rānei o te pumau o ngā whanaungatanga whakaora i te toharite, ehara i te mea kāore he take.

He mea noa iho te rapu piringa i roto i te pono o ngā tatauranga me ngā whika hei tiaki i tō ngākau kua kiri kē, ka hinga ki tētahi atu. Nā, e hia ngā wā ka whai hua ai tētahi whanaungatanga whakaora? Āe, kāore ngā tatauranga mō te angitu o ngā whanaungatanga whakaora i te whakatenatena.

• Kei te whai hua ngā whanaungatanga whakaora? rangahau e tohu ana ka mutu te 90% o ngā whanaungatanga whakaora i roto i ngā marama e toru
• Kia pēhea te roa o te whanaungatanga pikinga toharite? E ai ki te pūtake, ka roa i waenga i te kotahi marama me te tau, kāore i te roa rawa atu i te wā aroha, i te wā honi rānei e tīmata ana i ngā marama tuatahi e rua o te whakaipoipo
• Ka taea e rātou te āwhina i a koe kia wareware ki tētahi? he rangahau hei tautoko i te tautohe e āwhina ana ngā whakaoranga i te tangata kia tere ake te ora i te wehenga atu i te hunga e pāngia ana e te mamae o te ngākau ko rātou anake

Nō reira, ka hoki mai tātou ki te pātai i ngā pātai maha mō te mea ko te tere ki te uru atu ki tētahi whanaungatanga te huarahi tika hei tīmata i te tukanga whakaora, mehemea rānei ko tētahi o ngā tohu ārai. Pērā i ngā āhuatanga katoa o ngā taunekeneke me ngā whanaungatanga tangata, he uaua, he maha hoki ngā āhuatanga o te whakautu mēnā he pai ngā whanaungatanga whakaora. Ko te whakautu māmā i ētahi wā, āe, ā, i te nuinga o te wā, kāo. Engari me titiro tātou ki ngā take mō ngā mea e rua. Kia kite tātou āhea ka pai ngā whanaungatanga whakaora, ā, āhea kāore.

Āhea ka whai hua ngā whanaungatanga whakaora

Nā reira, kua whati tō ngākau, koe ngaro tō hoa o mua kino rawa atu, ā, ka puta mai tēnei tangata ataahua e hiahia ana ki te aro me te aroha ki a koe, me te whakamahara i a koe ki te āhua o tētahi tīmatanga hou. Kei te whakamatautauria koe ki te kimi i tētahi whanaungatanga hou i muri i tētahi whanaungatanga roa. Kei te tangi tonu te kīwaha, "Ko te huarahi pai ki te wareware i tētahi ko te noho tahi me tētahi atu!", i roto i tō mahunga i tēnei wā.

Kei te pātai mana koe ināianei, "Kia pēhea te roa o tō noho takakau i muri i te wehenga?" ā, kāore koe e whakaaro ana ki ngā tūponotanga ka pā mai i tētahi whanaungatanga whakamuri, whakamuri takirua rānei. Ko tāu noa he uru atu ki tēnei, me te mura o ngā pū. E hoa, kua tata koe te whakamuri, te whakamuri kaha me tēnei tangata hou.

I mua i tō mahi, he mea pai kia whakaaroarohia te pātai: Ka whai hua rānei te hokinga mai i muri i te wehenga? Ahakoa he nui ngā taunakitanga hei tautoko i te pakaru me te mura o te whanaungatanga hokinga mai pērā i te waka mokowhiti kua mate, kei reira ētahi taunakitanga e kī ana i tētahi atu mea? Me ruku tātou ki roto kia kitea ai.

Te pānui e pā ana: Ngā Mea Hei Whakaaroaro I mua i te Tīmatanga Anō o te Whakaipoipo i Muri i te Wehenga

1. Ka kitea e koe te tautoko hei whakatau i te mamae o te ngākau

New rangahau I roto i te mara o te hinengaro whanaungatanga whakaora, e kī ana pea ka whai hua ēnei whanaungatanga nā te mea he āwhina nui hei huarahi whakatau i te mamae o te ngākau, me te neke atu ki tētahi whanaungatanga hou. Ahakoa he poto noa iho ēnei whanaungatanga, ka taea e rātou te noho hei puna kaha me te whakamarie e whakatutuki ana i ō hiahia kare ā-roto, i tētahi wā uaua. Ka taea e rātou te āwhina i a koe warewarehia tō hoa o mua mā te whakanui ake i tō whakaaro ki a koe anō, me te whakamanawa i a koe mō te āheinga ki te kimi anō i te aroha.

2. Ka kawea mai e rātou te whakamarie o te whanaungatanga piripono ki a koe

He aha te take e whai hua ai ētahi whanaungatanga whakaora? Koinei tonu te take. Ko tētahi o ngā mea e ngaro ana i te tangata mō te noho i roto i ngā whanaungatanga ko te whanaungatanga ā-tinana. Nā te mea kua whai hoa tata, kua kiia ko koe, he uaua te noho mokemoke. Ina noho te tokorua i roto i te whanaungatanga whakaora, ka kitea e rāua tētahi hei whakakī i te āputa i mahue i tā rāua hoa o mua. Ka taea e te kare o te koretake i muri i te wehenga ohorere te whakapau kaha, ā, kia mutu ai te kare o taua kare, tera pea ka kitea koe e haurangi ana e kanikani ana i roto i tētahi pa me te tumanako ki te moe tahi me tētahi.

Ahakoa kāore he he o tēnā, kei te rapu tonu koe i tētahi huarahi hei whakaora i te whanaungatanga. Tērā pea kāore koe e hiahia ki te pera. tapanga te whanaungatanga me taua tangata engari ka whiwhi koe i tētahi hei pupuri i a koe. He kare ā-roto whakamiharo tēnā, ina koa kei te raru tonu koe i te ngaronga o te wehenga. Ka waiho pea koe e whakaaro ana, "He whanaungatanga whakahoki mai, he mea tūturu rānei?"

E kī ana a Maria, he kaihoahoa whare 29-tau te pakeke, kua pāngia e tēnei wheako, "Ko au te kotiro i hoki mai ki a ia (i whiriwhiria e ia te haere tahi māua nā tana hoa o mua i tīmata te whakaipoipo i muri i ngā marama e toru i muri i te wehenga) mō te tata ki te whā tau. He mura te hononga ā-ira i waenganui i a māua, ā, nā tēnā ahau i noho tonu ai. He tangata ia e tere ana ki te whai hononga engari nā te whakamarie o te whanaungatanga i honoa māua."

3. Ka kitea e koe he hoa hei okiokinga atu

Ehara i te mea ko te hokinga mai te huarahi ki te hanga i tētahi whanaungatanga hou pumau. Engari mō tētahi wā poto, ka whakaaro koe kei a koe tētahi hoa hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau i te wā pōuri e pā ana ki a koe. Ahakoa kāore koe e tika kia haere noa me te ngana ki te whakaaro ko tō hokinga mai te huarahi hei kaiwhakaora hinengaro māu, me whai i tētahi hei whakapuaki i ō kare ā-roto me te whai whakaaro. hononga kare ā-roto me te tino āwhina.

Ahakoa he tangi ki a rātou i muri i te mahi, he kai noa iho rānei i ngā mea paru me te noho i te papa waka, ka kitea e te tangata he tino whakamarie te whanaungatanga whakaora ahakoa he torutoru noa ngā marama mai i te wehenga. Waihoki, ki te kore ko tā rātou whanaungatanga tuatahi (āue!), ka mārama tō hoa ki ngā kare ā-roto i muri i te wehenga, ā, ka taea e ia te tuku tautoko ki a koe ina tino hiahiatia ana e koe.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te puta i te wehenga ko koe anake?

4. Ka whai wāhi koe ki te whanaungatanga

He mea whakararuraru te whanaungatanga ki tētahi tangata hou, ā, tērā pea ka huri hei whanaungatanga roa i te mutunga. Tērā pea he onge – he tino onge, engari ka taea e tētahi whanaungatanga hoki anō te angitu i te wā roa mēnā e hiahia ana koe. Engari ka puta noa tēnā ina ka piripono ō kare ā-roto ki te hoa hou, ā, ka pā ki ngā āhuatanga katoa. ngā wāhanga whanaungatanga whakaora pūmau te upoko. 

Ka nui ake te ngaro o tō hoa o mua i a koe ina hoki mai anō koe ki te pōrearea? Hoatu he wā ki a koe anō kia whakaaroaro ai, ā, ki te mea ko te whakautu ki tēnei pātai he kāo, ko te mea matua tēnei māu kia angitu ai te pōrearea me te piripono kare ā-roto pono. Ko ētahi tohu hei tirotiro māu i roto i a koe anō hei aromatawai i tēnei ko:

• Kei te whakatairanga koe i te whanaungatanga
• Kei te māhorahora koe
• Kua whakawhanakehia e kōrua ētahi taumata o te whakawhirinaki
• He tipu whaiaro

Āta haere, engari he pono, ka taea e koe te hanga i tētahi whanaungatanga kaha, pumau i runga i tēnei turanga.

Āhea te Wā e Kore ai e Whai Hua ngā Hononga Whakaara Anō?

He iti noa te angitu o te whanaungatanga whakaora, engari kāore i te kore. He take tō rātou noho, ā, kia tutuki ai tā rātou kaupapa, me whakahaere i roto i te wairua me te tikanga tika. Nō reira, he aha ngā mea matua o te whakaoranga hei āwhina i a koe kia tere tonu i roto i tētahi?

• faitotonú 
• Maamaa nga rohe
• Ngā tūmanako
• Te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi

Engari ina ngaro te taurite o ēnei āhuatanga, ka noho ko tētahi o ngā take e kore ai e angitu ngā whanaungatanga whakaora. Koinei te wā me tīmata koe ki te whakaaroaro ki ngā tūponotanga o tētahi whanaungatanga whakaora. Anei ētahi āhuatanga e kore ai e angitu tētahi whanaungatanga whakaora:

1. Kāore koe i te tika

He wheako whakamiharo te whanaungatanga hou, he pono. Ka taea e ia te āwhina i a koe ki te ora me te whakahoki i a koe ki te āhua ora. Tērā pea ka whakapono anō koe ki te aroha! Engari ka taea anake tēnei mena koinei te mea e tino hiahiatia ana e koe. Ka nui ake te ngaro o tō hoa o mua i te hokinga mai o te aroha? He maha ngā tāngata e whakautu ana i taua pātai me te whakaae. He tohu tēnā kāore anō koe kia wareware ki tō hoa o mua, ā, tera pea kāore koe e hiahia kia wareware ki a rātou. I tēnei āhuatanga, kei te hē koe ki a koe anō me tō hoa hou.

I kitea e Hōne, he tangata i aroha nui ki tana hoa wahine mō ngā marama e rua, kāore anō kia mutu tana hononga o mua, ā, kua whakatau ia ki te tapahi i tana hononga. Me te pouri, ka mea ia, "He tangata tīmata ahau, ā, i whakarērea ahau. Kāore i tika mōku, ā, i pā ki tōku whakaaro ki a au anō." Heoi anō, ko ēnei āhuatanga ka arahi ki te maha o ngā take e kore e taea e tō tīmatanga te whakatau.

Te pānui e pā ana: 8 Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakatika i te Hononga Pakaru ki tō Hoa Tāne

2. Kei te whakaatu koe i ngā take o mua

Ka āwhina te whanaungatanga hoki-hoki i a koe kia neke whakamua? Ka whai hua ngā whanaungatanga hoki-hoki? Kāore, ki te tere rawa tō peke atu ki tētahi whanaungatanga e kī ana i te ngā tueke o tō mua, ā, kāore e taea te kore e whakaatu i ō raruraru ki tō hoa o mua ki tō hoa o nāianei. Koinei tētahi o ngā wāhanga e ono o te peka o te makimaki, ā, e kiia ana hoki ko tētahi o ngā tohu nui o te whanaungatanga.

Kia tino angitu ai te hokinga mai, me wetekina koe i ngā here o mua. Ā, he uaua ake tēnei mahi ina kāore anō koe kia whakatika i te mamae o te ngākau nā te wehenga. Ko ētahi tohu kei te tukuna e koe ngā raruraru o mua ki tō hoa,

• Te peke ki te whakatau
• Whakakaha
• Te whakataurite pinepine
• Tauira tukurua

Nā te mea kua puta kē koe i tētahi hononga, ā, kāore anō kia whai wā tika ki te whakaora i a koe anō, he tino uaua kia kaua e tukua ō wheako o mua kia pā kino ki tō hononga o nāianei. Koia te take, ahakoa kei roto koe i tētahi hononga e hoki whakamuri ana, me ngana kia āta haere. Kāore he take ki te tīmata wawe ki te kī "Aroha ana ahau ki a koe" me te tūtaki rānei ki ngā mātua o tētahi ki tētahi. Ki te kore, tera pea he aituā e tatari ana kia puta.

3. Ko tētahi o ngā take kāore e angitu ai ngā whanaungatanga whakaora ko te tere rawa o tō haerenga

Ka wehe koe, ka kimi hoa hou, ka tīmata te whakaipoipo, ka oati, kua motuhake koe ināianei, ā, i mua i tō mōhio, kua whakaaro koe mō tō heke mai me tēnei tangata. Ki te tere haere te hokinga mai, e tere ana koe ki te uru atu ki tētahi whanaungatanga, e pekepeke ana mai i tētahi whanaungatanga ki tētahi atu, tera pea ka pakaru, ka mura i tētahi wā.

I tēnei wā, kaua e pātai, "Kei te whai hua ngā whanaungatanga hou?", "Kei te moe ngā tāne i te wahine hou, i te wahine rānei?", me pātai koe ki a koe anō he aha koe i ruku tika atu ai i te mea kāore anō kia wareware ki tō hoa o mua. Ina neke tere koe mai i tētahi whanaungatanga ki tētahi whanaungatanga hou, ka maringi noa atu ngā taumahatanga.

Ina tupu tēnā, ka hinga te whanaungatanga e hoki whakamuri ana. Ahakoa ka hoki whakamuri koe, me whai wā ki te whakatau i tō mua ngā kare ā-roto, me te whakarite mō te heke mai i mua i te tango i tētahi peke kore pumau, e mōhio ana koe kāore e taea e koe te whakapau kaha ki te mahi. 

4. Kei te rapu koe i tētahi whakakapinga

Ehara tō hoa hou i te whakakapi mō tō hoa o mua. Ā, e kore rawa rātou e whakakapi. Ka nui ake te mamae o te ngākau i roto i tētahi hononga whakahoki mai mēnā kei te rapu koe i tētahi whakakapi mō tō hoa o mua, kaua i tētahi hoa hei tīmatanga i tētahi haerenga hou. Mēnā kei te whakataurite tonu koe i tō whanaungatanga o nāianei ki tō hoa o mua, tō hoa o nāianei ki tō hoa o mua, me te tohu i ngā pouaka kei hea te pai ake o tētahi i tētahi, kāti kāore koe i te rite ki te... neke atu i tētahi hononga pakaru ā, he poto noa te wā e ora ai te hokinga whakamuri.

Nā tēnei, he tokomaha te hunga e kite ana i a rātou anō i roto i ngā whanaungatanga hurihuri, e whara ana i a rātou anō, e mahi ana i ngā hapa ōrite tonu. Ki te mea he rite tonu tāu mahi, kua tae pea te wā ki te hoki whakamuri me te arotake anō i tāu e hiahia ana mai i tō ao. Tērā pea ka puta he harikoa poto i roto i te whanaungatanga hurihuri, engari ki te mea kei te rapu koe i tētahi whanaungatanga pumau, i tētahi whanaungatanga nui rānei, ehara tēnei i te otinga. Ko te aro atu ki ō kare ā-roto te mea e ārahi ana i a koe ki te tukanga whakaora.

Te pānui e pā ana: 5 Ngā Kōrero Whakamataku mō te Whakawhanaungatanga me Pānui e Koe

He aha ngā mea ka puta ina mutu te whanaungatanga whakaora?

Ina mutu ohorere te whanaungatanga whakaora i muri tata i ētahi marama nā ngā take kua whakahuatia i runga ake nei, ka pōhēhē koe mō tētahi wā, kātahi ka toro atu ki te ipu aihikirīmi hei tangi mō tō wehenga tuarua i roto i ngā marama e ono. Ae, he ahua kino te ahua engari koinā te pono. Kua hoki mai a Hinerara i te pōro, ki roto i ōna kākahu moe, e tangi ana i roto i tōna moenga nā te mea kua mutu te pakiwaitara o te whanaungatanga tino pai. Ka hoki koe ki te ao tūturu ka pātai ki a koe anō, "Kia pēhea te roa o te pumau o ngā whanaungatanga whakaora i te toharite?", ā, ka whakatau koe, kāore i te roa.

He tino mamae te ngākau, he pono, engari kua tae ki te wā kia mōhio ai koe kua tinihanga pea koe i a koe anō. I tino hiahia koe ki te noho tahi me tēnei tangata? I riro rānei koe i te ngahau o te katoa? Ko te mea whakamutunga pea. Ā, koinei te mea tino mamae ina mutu te whanaungatanga hou. Nāu i teka ki a koe anō, kaua ki te whakahaere i ō kare ā-roto i runga i te pono me te whai hua.

He poto noa iho ētahi hokinga whakamuri, ā, ko ētahi ka roa ake pea ō whanaungatanga, ka pakari ake. Nō reira, ka angitu rānei tētahi whanaungatanga hokinga whakamuri? Ki te tino waimarie koe. He tokomaha rawa ngā tāngata ka whara, ā, he maha rawa ngā pūkete Instagram ka āraia i roto i te tukanga. Ki te mea he uaua ki a koe te mārama me pēhea te wikitoria i te mamae o te ngākau me te neke whakamua, he pai ake te rapu āwhina ngaio mai i tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro. He waimarie mōu, he iti noa iho te hunga whai whakaaro mohio o Bonobology. pawhiri atu.

I whakahoutia tēnei pou i te Pipiri 2023

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