13 Ngā Huarahi Hei Hoki Atu Ki Tō Hoa O Mua

Kia tīmata koe ki te ngaro i tētahi hoa tawhito, ka roa ake, ka uaua ake ia rā. Ka tīmata anō koe ki te hiahia ki tōna hoa me tōna aroaro i roto i tō ao, ā, ka pā ki ō whanaungatanga katoa ā muri ake nei. Ko te hiahia anake ki te hoki ki tō hoa o mua ko te mea me pēhea te hoki ki a ia ina tīmata te pā mai o te mokemoke ki a koe. He maha ngā take ka puta ai tēnei kitenga o te hononga anō ki tētahi hoa o mua.

Tērā pea nā ō raruraru here i whai wāhi ki te wehenga, ā, kei te whaia koe e te whakama o te whara i a rātou. Tērā pea i hiahia koe ki te tīmata ki te whakaipoipo tonu, ā, i muri i te noho tahi me tētahi atu, ka kite koe kei te ngaro tonu te hononga motuhake i tohaina e koe ki tō hoa o mua. Āe, ehara i te mea he tangata kino, he tangata whakarihariha katoa ngā hoa o mua me tino karohia e koe i tō ao.

Me whai wā okioki ētahi i tō ao kia pai ake ai te noho ina hoki mai rātou. Engari, kei te pērā anō ngā whakaaro o tō hoa o mua? Kua rite rātou ki te tīmata hou? Ki te kore, me pēhea e hiahia ai tō hoa o mua kia hoki mai koe? Mā te āwhina a Shazia Saleem (Tohu Paerua Hinengaro), he tohunga ki te tohutohu mō te wehenga me te whakarere, me titiro tātou ki ngā mea katoa e hiahia ana koe ki te mōhio mō te whakahoki mai i tō hoa o mua.

Me pēhea koe e mōhio ai mēnā me hoki anō kōrua ko tō hoa o mua, kāore rānei?

Mena kei roto koe i te āhuatanga "Me hoki ahau ki taku hoa o mua, me noho rānei ki taku hoa o nāianei?", kua tae mai koe ki te wāhi tika. E ai ki ngā tatauranga , he mea noa te wehenga me te hoki tahi mō te tata ki te 50% o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine pakeke. I kitea i tētahi atu rangahau a te Whare Wānanga o Texas tata ki te 65% o ngā ākonga kāreti o Amerika i wehe, ā, i pai anō te whanaungatanga. Ko te "roa o ngā kare ā-roto" te take matua i roto i tēnei rangahau.

I a ia e kōrero ana mō tēnei kaupapa, e kī ana a Shazia "Ina wehe atu ngā tāngata tokorua i tētahi hononga, ā, ka ngaro nui tetahi i tetahi, kāore rānei e taea te whakarērea ngā whakaaro mō tetahi i tetahi, ahakoa he roa te wā, ka taea e rāua te whakaaro ki te whakahou i te whanaungatanga. Heoi, ko te huarahi tika ki te tīmata anō i tētahi hononga i muri i ētahi marama, i ētahi tau rānei, ko te wā e pai ana ngā hoa tokorua ki tēnei whakaaro, kaua ko te wā e hiahia tonu ana tetahi ki tetahi."

Ko tētahi o ngā mea tuatahi me hoki whakamuri koe, me whakaaroaro tonu, ko te take i mutu ai tō whanaungatanga. Nā te kore whakapono? Nā te tawhiti i arai? Nā te kore rānei i tutuki ō hiahia kare ā-roto? Ko tāu whakatau ki te whakaora anō i tētahi whanaungatanga o mua me whakawhirinaki katoa ki te āhua o tō wehenga atu i ngā mea ki tēnei tangata. Ā, ki te mea kei te rapu koe i ā mātou whakaaro mō "Me hoki anō ahau ki taku hoa o mua?" anei:

• Mehemea i tino he whanaungatanga paitini nā tēnā i whakararu i tō tipu ake whaiaro, i te mea rānei i kitea e koe tō hoa o mua e teka ana ki a koe mō ngā marama, ehara pea i te mea pai kia hoatu he whai wāhitanga anō ki a ia
• Mena he mea ka taea e kōrua te whakatika i te take o te wehenga, ā, e whakapono ana kōrua i hohoro te whakamutu i tētahi hononga nui, he pai ake pea te whakamātau anō.
• Mena kua pāngia koe e ngā raruraru whakawhirinaki, ā, e hiahia ana koe kia tūpato, me whai wā koe ki te whakatau he aha te mea e tino hiahiatia ana e koe i mua i te neke whakamua.
• I tētahi atu taha, ki te mea kua tino hiahia tō ngākau ki a rātou, ā, ki te whakaaro koe kua pai ake koe i a rātou, he take pai pea tēnei ki te whakakore i te pere i te wā e taea ai e koe, ka tīmata i tētahi upoko hou me rātou.

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Me pēhea te hoki ki tētahi o mua - 13 Ngā Huarahi Hei Mahi Tika 

He pai te hononga anō ki tētahi hoa o mua? Tērā pea. Ahakoa kua whakatau pūmau kōrua ki te wehe, ehara i te mea kāore e taea e kōrua te whakatika i ō raruraru katoa i muri mai, me te tīmata anō ki te hanga anō i tētahi turanga pakari. Ko ētahi āhuatanga e hiahia ana kia roa te wā wehe hei whakahaere pai ake i ō kare ā-roto. Mena i muri i taua wā, ka mau tonu te aroha, he pai te whakaaro ki te whakaaro anō i te whanaungatanga mō te wā tuarua.

Engari he tino uaua te hoki ki tētahi hoa o mua ina kua neke atu ia. Ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakaara anō i te mura tawhito me te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga mai i te tīmatanga. I roto i tēnei āhuatanga, me tūpato, me pono, me u tonu hoki ō mahi. Anei ngā huarahi 13 hei āwhina i a koe ki te hoki ki tētahi hoa o mua:

1. Whakaaturia ki a rātou te nui o tō ngaro i a rātou 

Mehemea kei te mau tonu te aroha o tō hoa o mua ki a koe, ā, e hiahia ana hoki rātou ki te tīmata i tāu i mutu ai. Engari ka pērā anake rātou ina mōhio rātou kei te ngaro atu koe i a rātou. Ki te kōrero noa koe, ki te ngana rānei koe ki te hora i ngā kōrero mā roto i ngā hoa, tera pea ka whakaaro rātou kei te hiahia noa koe ki a rātou nā te mea kei te mokemoke koe, kei te hoha rānei. 

Ka taea e ngā hoa o mua te hoki anō ki te aroha? Ae, ka taea e rātou. Ehara i te mea ko ngā kiriata ahurea rongonui anake e kite ana tātou i te wehenga o te tokorua mō te neke atu i te tekau tau tae noa ki te tūtaki i muri i ngā tau, ā, ka noho harikoa tonu. Kia oti i a koe te noho puku i muri i te wehenga, ka taea e koe te whakaatu ki a rātou te nui o tō aroha ki a rātou me tō ngaro i a rātou. Heoi, he mea nui kia mōhio koe me pēhea e hiahia ana koe ki te tuku i te karere e hiahia ana koe ki te whakahoki mai i a rātou ki tō ao.

Kāore e taea e koe te mahi i tēnei i te kōrero tuatahi i muri i te wā kore whakapā, ā, kāore hoki e taea e koe te tino hiahia nui ki tēnei mea. Ko te āhua o te hoki ki tō hoa o mua kei te āhua o tō mahi mārire, me te whakaatu anō hoki i a koe anō he tangata hou. Hei tīmatanga, kaua e waea atu ki a rātou i a koe e tangi ana.

2. Hoatu he wāhi ki a rātou ki te whakaaro 

"Me hoatu e ngā hoa o mua he wā me te wāhi nui tetahi ki tetahi i mua i te whakaaro ki tētahi tīmatanga hou. Nā te mea he uaua ki te wareware i ngā wheako o mua, ngā mamae, me ngā aituā kino. Me murua e ia tangata ōna ake hara, kātahi ka taea e ia te whai wā ki te whakaaroaro, kia taea ai e ia te tae atu ki tētahi wāhi pakari, ā, kia kore e pāngia e te kino," te kī a Shazia.

Ehara i te mea ko te whakahoki mai i tētahi hoa o mua ki roto i tō ao te mea e pā ana ki te whakakī i a rātou ki te aroha. Nā te mea he nui te tūponotanga ka whakamomori rātou, ka pana atu hoki i a rātou ki tawhiti. I ētahi wā, me wehewehe, me whakarite hoki ō rātou kare ā-roto kia mārama ai rātou mēnā e hiahia ana rātou ki a koe, kāore rānei, ā, he roa te wā e pau ana ki tēnā. Tāpirihia tēnei ki tō rārangi ture mō te hoki tahi me tētahi hoa o mua. E kore rawa koe e toa anō i tōna ngākau mēnā ka tono nui koe.

Kāore e taea te kī taurangi ka hoki mai rātou i te mutunga o te rā, engari ki te hoki mai rātou, he kōwhiringa pai tēnei hei tīmata i tētahi whanaungatanga kaha ake, hauora ake hoki. I te wā i whakarērea ai e taku hoa a Roy a Lorraine, i pau ngā wiki tuatahi e ia ki te tuku karere me te waea atu ki a ia, ā, nā tēnā i tino riri ai a Roy, ā, ka iti haere tōna hiahia ki a ia.

I muri i te marama tuatahi, ka mutu tana mahi. I muri i ngā marama e toru, ka hoki tonu mai a Roy ki a ia! Ka pātai a Lorraine ki a ia, "He aha ināianei? I muri i ngā marama e toru?" Ka mea a Roy, "Nā te mea ko te noho mokemoke me te tawhiti atu i a koe i kite ai ahau i te nui o taku hiahia ki a koe." Mō Lorraine, ko te kimi huarahi hei hoki atu ki tana hoa tāne o mua he maha ngā waea whakama me ngā nganatanga nui. Kāore e tika kia pērā anō mōu.

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3. Kōrerohia ngā take tawhito 

Ko te whakahoki mai i tō hoa o mua, ehara i te mea ko te tuku kōrero kino me te whakaputa i ngā riri tawhito. Ae, kua mahia ngā hapa i mua, engari ki te hiahia koe ki tētahi tīmatanga pai, kua tae ki te wā ki te neke whakamua me te whakatau i ngā tautohetohe i runga i te tikanga tika. I tētahi wā, me uru atu koe ki te kōrero nui, me te tuku i tētahi kōrero whaitake mō ngā mea i hē.

Ko ngā take tawhito ngā take i wehe ai kōrua i te tuatahi. E kore e ngāwari te kōrero mō ēnei mea i runga i te whakaaro pono. Heoi, ko te whakatau i ngā tautohe me mahi e koe ngā mea katoa e taea ana e koe hei whakaoti i te raruraru. I a ia e kōrero ana mō te kaupapa, ka whakapuaki a Shazia i ētahi tirohanga nui:

• Ka whakaae ngā hoa tokorua ki te whakapau kaha kia kaua e mahi anō i ngā hapa ōrite
• Me tino mārama kōrua, me te hiahia hoki kia uru mai ētahi huringa pai hei huri i ngā haki whero ki te kākāriki.
• He mea nui te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera, pono hoki. Engari i a koe e hoki anō ana ki ngā hapa o mua, kaua e kahakina rawatia e ngā kare ā-roto kino, ā, ka waiho hei arai i a koe ki te whai hua o tēnei whanaungatanga.
• Me whakapakari ake koe i ō pūkenga whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, me te kimi i tētahi huarahi e aro ana ki te otinga mō ēnei take e whakaaetia ana e kōrua tokorua.

4. Kaua e ngana ki te mea kia hae rātou 

Ko te whakaatu pikitia me te hoa hou i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori, te kōrero rānei i ngā kōrero whakakatakata o tō pō whakatau me tētahi atu, ka nui ake te kino i te pai. He tokomaha te hunga e whakaaro ana ko te hae he ara hei arahi i tā rātou hoa o mua ki a rātou. Āe, he hē. Inaa, ki te mahi koe i tēnei, ka kore pea e whai hua tetahi atu tohu o te whai wāhitanga tuarua.

"Kei te ngana ahau ki te whakahoki mai i taku hoa tāne o mua. Mā te haere tahi me tana hoa pea ka whakaatu ki a ia te mea e ngaro ana i a ia" - ehara tēnā i te mahere pai rawa atu, tika? Kāore tetahi o ngā kōrero angitu mō te hoki tahi me te hoa o mua e kōrero ana mō tēnei huarahi hei akiaki. Ki te mea he aha, ka nui ake te mauahara i roto i tō kōrua whanaungatanga . Ahakoa ka hoki mai rāua, ā, ka houhia te rongo, ka uaua ki a rāua te hanga whakawhirinaki i muri i te kitenga i a koe me tētahi atu.

5. Kia waiho hei tangata kua rerekē 

Kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te hoki ki tō hoa o mua? Āe, me pēhea te tīmata mā te noho hei tangata e hiahia ana rātou ki te whakahoki mai? Nā te mea ko te hoki ki te whanaungatanga kino kotahi ki tō hoa o mua te mea whakamutunga e hiahiatia ana e te tangata. Ki te whakaaro rātou kei te mau tonu ō āhuatanga raruraru tawhito, pērā i te kore tamariki, te raruraru whakawhitiwhiti kōrero rānei, ka ārai pea i tō rātou hiahia ki te hoki mai ki a koe. 

"Kia hoki mai ai tō hoa o mua i muri i te tau, me whakaatu e koe he tangata whanake koe. Ehara i te mea me huri katoa koe hei tangata kia uru ki te paearu o te hoa pai, pērā i te noho hei tangata e mangere ana ki te whakapuaki i ōna hiahia, e karo rānei i ētahi hoa me te whānau kāore e pai ki tō hoa. Engari ki te mea he wāhi hei whakapai ake i a koe anō, me ngana tonu koe ki te mahi i taua maero," te kī a Shazia.

Anei ētahi huringa ka taea e koe te whakatinana hei akiaki i tō hoa o mua ki te tīmata i tētahi hononga hou ki a koe:

• Kāore te takaro hei patunga e āwhina i a koe. Tīmata ki te whakahaere i tō oranga, i roto i te ao whaiaro me te ao mahi.
• Kati te whakapae i te aituā, i ētahi atu rānei e karapoti ana i a koe, ā, tīmata ki te tango i te kawenga mō āu ake mahi me āu whakatau.
• Whakatipuhia ētahi tikanga hauora pēnei i te aro nui, te murunga hara, me te manawanui, ā, me whakarere i ngā mea kino.
• Ngāna kia whakapai ake i ngā pūkenga whakawhitiwhiti kōrero hei wāhanga o tō tipu ake whaiaro
• Kati te titiro ki tō oranga mā roto i ngā kanohi o tō hoa o mua, tīmata ki te noho māu ake; ako ki te kimi i te harikoa i roto i tō ake kamupene.

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6. Whakamaumaharahia he aha kōrua e hototahi ai 

He tino uaua te whakatika i tō whanaungatanga me tō hoa o mua i te mea ko ia te tangata nāna koe i wehe, i te mea rānei nāna koe i whakamutu. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, tērā pea kāore tō hoa o mua e pai ki te whakamātau anō i muri i te mutunga o te whanaungatanga. Hei whakaatu ki a rātou he mea nui koe, me whakamahara koe ki a rātou i ngā mea katoa i hanga ai kōrua hei tokorua pai. 

Ahakoa he kōrero noa iho mō te pai o kōrua mahi tahi i a kōrua e tākaro ana i ngā kēmu poari, me kōrero tonu koe mō aua wā. Mā ēnei maharatanga ka maumahara rātou he mea tika kia tiakina tēnei whanaungatanga . Ko te kimi huarahi hei whakahoki mai i tō hoa wahine o mua ahakoa te āhua kore e taea (tō hoa tāne o mua rānei) ka aro ki te whakaatu i te hototahi o kōrua tetahi ki tetahi. I te wā e kōrero anō ai koe ki a rātou, kaua e whakahua i ngā wā i hē ai tō hoa o mua. Engari, kōrerohia te haerenga aroha i mahia e koe ki Bali i te wā i rite ai koe ki te kore he he i waenganui i a kōrua ko tō hoa.

7. Kia mārama te take e hiahia ana koe kia hoki mai rātou

Ki te mea kei te tumanako koe ki tētahi hononga hauora me tētahi hoa o mua, me pono koe ki a koe anō mō ​​ngā take i tīmata ai te whanaungatanga tawhito. Me whakarite kia kaua e hiahia noa koe ki te noho tahi me rātou nā te mea kei te mokemoke koe, ā, me hiahia koe ki tētahi hei hoa mōu. Ka arahi tēnei ki tētahi hononga hauora kore , ā, ka mutu ka pakaru, ka mura anō.

E mea ana a Shazia, "Ahakoa kei te hoki anō koe ki tētahi hoa o mua i muri i te tau, i ētahi wiki rānei, ki te mea kei roto koe i te ngākau pono, ā, kei te aroha koe, ki te whakaute koe i taua tangata me te whanaungatanga, ka angitu. Ko te mea nui kia pono koe ki a koe anō me tō hoa o mua mō ngā take e hiahia ana koe kia hoki mai tēnei tangata."

E kore rawa e taea e koe te akiaki i tō hoa o mua kia hoki mai koe me te kore whakaaro nui. Heoi anō, kāore e tika kia ngana kōrua ki te whakaora anō i te whanaungatanga mō ngā take koretake. Nō reira, ahakoa i kite koe i tētahi pou Instagram o rāua e ngahau ana i te takutai moana, ā, kei te pouri koe mō taua mea, ehara i te mea me whakaae koe ki tō raruraru "Me hoki anō ahau ki taku hoa o mua?".

8. Kōrero atu ki a rātou ka taea e rātou te whakawhirinaki ki a koe 

Ko te whakawhirinaki te tūāpapa matua mō tētahi whanaungatanga angitu. Ka taea e tātou te tuku i a tātou anō kia aroha ki tētahi mēnā ka whakawhirinaki tātou ki a rātou, ā, ka tukua hoki rātou kia whakawhirinaki mai ki a tātou. Ki te kore he whakawhirinaki, kāore he huarahi hei whakahaere i ngā mea. Nō reira, mēnā ka mutu ngā mea i waenganui i a kōrua nā tētahi mea i mahia e kōrua, ā, ka mutu tā rātou whakawhirinaki ki a koe, me whakatika. Whakaaturia ki a rātou tō pouri mēnā kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te hoki ki tō hoa o mua.

" Ka roa te wā e hiahiatia ana hei whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinaki i roto i tētahi hononga pakaru . Me mārama ngā hoa e rua ki te uaua o te āhuatanga, me te whakaae hoki me kōrero nui ake ā rāua mahi i ngā kupu. Me whakarite kia whakaatahia e ō whanonga tō whakapau kaha ki te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki. He mea nui kia manawanui. Kāore e taea te tupu i roto i te pō kotahi," te kī a Shazia.

• Kaua e waiho he wāhi mō tētahi māramatanga kore. Kōrerohia mā te tuwhera, me te aro atu ki ngā take nui kua pā mai ki a kōrua.
• He rerekētanga te mahi a ngā kupu, kāore e kore, ā, he tuhinga pai te tuhi, nō roto tonu i tō ngākau, ka puta he merekara.
• Engari tāpirihia hoki ētahi mahi ki roto i te ranunga – mā tēnā e whakaatu ki a rātou te pono me te pono o tō tūnga inaianei.
• Kia tūpato ki tō hoa, ā, waihangahia he wāhi haumaru mō rātou kia pērā anō hoki
• Mō te whanaungatanga kaha ake i te wāhanga tuarua, whakapaua te wā ki te noho tahi me te hanga wheako me ngā maharatanga hou me tō hoa.

Pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinaki i muri i te tinihanga: 12 Ngā huarahi e ai ki tētahi tohunga

9. Whakanohoia koe ki roto i o raatau hu

Ehara i te mea ko tāu e hiahia ana anake te wehe me te hoki tahi me te hoa tawhito. He hoa ōrite tō hoa o mua i roto i tēnei whanaungatanga e tumanakohia ana e koe. Tērā pea kua mamae rātou pērā i a koe i te wehenga. Nō reira, kāore pea i te ngāwari ki a rātou te whakatau kia hoki anō ki te whanaungatanga. Koia te take, ko tētahi o ngā ture mō te hoki tahi me te hoa o mua ko te mārama ki tōna taha i mua i te tono kia noho tahi anō rātou me koe.

I a ia e kōrero ana mō te hiranga o te aroha ki te tangata i tēnei āhuatanga, ka mea mai a Shazia ki a tātou, "Ina whakatau te tokorua kia hoki tahi rāua, me whakanoho rāua ki te tūranga o te tangata kē. Me whakaute rāua ki ngā uara me ngā whakapono o te tangata kē." Anei tā mātou e kī atu nei:

• Mā te mātakitaki i ngā mea mai i tō rātou tirohanga ka mārama ake ai koe ki ngā take e whakaroa ana, e whakaroa ana rānei i ngā mea.
• Mena kei te taha hē tō hoa i tēnei wehenga, ā, kei te tuku whakapāha pono mai rātou ki a koe, me waiho tō whakapehapeha ki te taha, ā, me whakaae atu.
• Mena nāu i tinihanga, i wahi rānei i ō rātou ngākau i tētahi atu ara, me hoatu he wā ki a rātou kia puta ai ō rātou riri, kia manawanui hoki ki te whakahaere i ō rātou kare ā-roto.
• Ahakoa e hiahia ana rātou ki te wā ki te whakaaro, ki te āta haere rānei, me whakaute tonu koutou i ngā whakataunga a tētahi ki tētahi.

Mena kei te rapu koe i ētahi atu āwhina hei mārama ki ō kare ā-roto, ko te whakaora i ngā kare ā-roto o te tokorua te otinga pea mō ō raruraru katoa. Kei konei tonu ngā kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro mohio me ngā kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro whai raihana i runga i te rōpū Bonobology hei tautoko i a koe.

10. Whakaaturia ki a rātou kua rite koe ki te whakapau kaha

He nui ake te kōrero a ngā mahi i ngā kupu. Me whakaatu e koe kei te hiahia koe ki te mahi i ngā mea rerekē i tēnei wā. Kōrerotia ki a rātou ngā huringa katoa e hiahia ana koe ki te mahi, ngā mea rānei e hiahia ana koe ki te mahi mēnā kei te tino hiahia koe ki te hoki anō ki a rātou. He whakaaro rongonui kāore e angitu te hoki ki tētahi hoa o mua. Engari kua whakaarohia e koe he aha te take? Nā te mea e tumanako ana te nuinga o te tangata kia ranea te hiahia, ā, kāore e hiahia ki te whakapau kaha.

Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te hoki ki tō hoa o mua, me rite koe ki te whakatutuki i ngā kupu, kaua ki te tuku noa i ngā kupu whakaari nunui. Hei tauira:

• Kia tuwhera, kia pono hoki ki a koe anō, ki a rātou hoki
• Whakaaturia ki a rātou e hiahia ana koe ki te whakapau i te wā ki roto i te whanaungatanga, me te kia nui ake te aro ki a rātou tenei wa
• Ka whai wāhi nui tō whakapau kaha ki te whakatutuki i tēnei mahi kia whakawhirinaki anō ai rātou ki a koe.
• Tukua rātou kia whai wā ki te whakatau. Taria marie
• Kati te rapu i ngā tohu e kī ana ka hoki anō kōrua, engari me haere noa ki waho ki te whakatutuki i te hiahia.

11. Kia rite ki te mahi patunga tapu 

Hei whakatere i te huarahi tika o tō whanaungatanga i muri i te wehenga, me whai huarahi matatau ake koe ki te whakatika i ngā kino. Kei roto i tēnā ko te hiahia ki te mahi i ngā patunga tapu nui ake kia hari ai rāua. Nā te mea kua taupatupatu ngā āhuatanga i waenganui i a kōrua, he mea nui tēnei mena kei te pirangi pono koe ki te whakaora i tētahi whanaungatanga.

Āhea te wā tika ki te hoki ki tō hoa o mua? Ko te wā anake e mōhio ai koe ka taea e koe te tuku atu i a koe anō ki a rātou. Pātai atu ki a koe anō, he mea kua rite koe mō taua taumata whakapau kaha? Mēnā ko te whakautu he āe, tīmata ki te whakaora anō i tētahi whanaungatanga o mua. Ā, ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te kōrero ki tō hoa o mua mō te hoki tahi, me kī atu kei te pai koe ki te mahi i ngā patunga tapu me te whakapau kaha.

He Pānui e Pā Ana: Te Patunga Tapu i roto i te Hononga - Āhea, He aha, ā, E hia te Nui?

12. Tukua koe kia murua te hara

Ehara i te mea ko te whakahoki i ō raruraru o mua me te akiaki i a rātou ki te whakapāha te huarahi ki te hoki anō ki tētahi hoa o mua. Engari ko te muru i ō rātou hara mō ngā mea katoa i puta mai, me te tīmata anō. Tērā pea he uaua ki te wareware i ngā mamae katoa i pā ki a koe i te tīmatanga. Heoi, ko te kēmu whakapae tonu me te whakahoki anō i ngā mea o mua ka kino noa iho te āhua.

He mea tino nui te murunga hara i roto i ngā whanaungatanga . Nō reira, i mua i tō whakaaro me pēhea te kī atu ki tō hoa o mua e hiahia ana koe ki te hoki tahi, me whakaaro koe mēnā ka taea e koe te tuku i ngā kare ā-roto kino, me te muru i a rātou me koe anō hoki. Ki te hiahia pono koe ki te whakamutu i te upoko pouri, me te huri i tētahi whārangi hou, ka taea e koe te tuku atu i tētahi karere poto, reka hoki pērā i te "Kua murua koe e au. Kāore au e pupuri ana i tētahi mauahara i roto i tōku ngākau. Me tīmata anō tāua?"

13. Kia mōhio koe ka rerekē ngā mea i tēnei wā 

He mea whakamā te hoki anō ki tētahi hoa o mua? Ae. Hei tauira, i whai koe i te ture kore whakapā i muri i te wehenga . I pukumahi koe i roto i ōu ake oranga, i mahi ki te tipu ake i a koe anō, i haere pea ki ētahi wā, engari kei roto tonu i tō hinengaro tō hoa o mua, kāore he utu. Nō reira, ka kōrero kōrua, ka whakatau kia pai ai ngā mea katoa. Ahakoa ka tīmata anō kōrua ki te whakaipoipo, he roa tonu te ara kei mua i te hokinga mai o ngā mea i waenganui i a kōrua.

Me rite koe mō ētahi āhuatanga whakamā i aua rā tuatahi o tō whanaungatanga 2.0. Kia mōhio koe kāore ngā mea katoa e rite ki mua nā te mea he maha ngā mea kua pā ki a koe. Kāore e tika te tumanako kia noho tonu rātou ki mua, ā, ka hoki mai ki roto i ō ringaringa. Engari, i waenganui i a tāua, tera pea ka pai ake i tēnei wā! Kāore te 'rerekētanga' e kī tonu ana he 'kino ake', e tika ana?

Hei whakamutunga, ka waiho mai a Shazia i ētahi mea hei maumahara mā tātou i a tātou e hokihoki ana ki tētahi hoa o mua, "Ko te mea anake ka taea e au te kī atu me te tino mārama, me karapoti tonu te aroha e ngā mea pēnei i te whakaute, te whakawhirinaki, te manaaki, te aro, te aro nui, me te tautoko kia ora tonu ai te whanaungatanga. Mena he pono ngā hoa e rua, ā, e hiahia ana ki te mahi i te whanaungatanga, kāore he take e kore ai e taea e kōrua te whakatere i tēnei pekanga o te huarahi."

Me pēhea te hoki ki tō hoa o mua? Kia maumahara, ko te manawanui te mea nui! Ehara i te mea ngāwari te hohou i te rongo ki tō mua . Ka roa te wā e ora ai, e whakapai ake ai hoki i tō whanaungatanga, ā, me āwhina koe i a rātou kia tae ki reira, kaua e mutu. Arohaina rātou, manaakitia rātou, manaakitia rātou, ā, kia noho hei hoa pai. Koinā anake te mea nui i te mutunga o te rā.

Kua whakahoutia tēnei tuhinga i te marama o Mei 2023. 

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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.