Kei te haere koe ki te whakaipoipo mō te wā tuatahi, ā, ka werawera koe i ia wā ka titiro koe ki tō mātiti, ā, kua tata te wā ki te tūtaki ki a rāua? Kei te whakaaro nui tonu koe me pēhea te tīmatanga o te kōrero, me aha koe, me mihi atu ki ōna kākahu, me kōrero rānei he aha te take i tomuri ai koe? Kaua e manukanuka rawa ki ēnei mea katoa. He mārama kei te mataku koe i te wā tuatahi, ā, he mea noa iho.
Ka taea e ēnei rā tuatahi whakarihariha te whakararuraru, te whakararuraru hoki i te maha o ngā tumanakohanga. Engari ngana ki te whakaaro pēnei. Tērā pea ka arahi atu ki ngā kihi tuatahi, ngā rā tuarua, me ētahi atu mea whakamiharo kei te heke mai.
Tirohia te taha pai hei whakakore i te mataku i te wā o te rā tuatahi. Ki te manukanuka koe mō te tūtaki tuatahi ki a rātou, ka nui ake tō kaha ki te whakahaere i ngā mea. Ā, he mea kino rawa atu tēnā? I te nuinga o te wā, ka whai hua tēnei ki a koe. Nō reira, me titiro tātou me pēhea e taea ai e koe te whakahaere i ngā mataku o te rā tuatahi, whakamahia hei painga mōu, ā, kia tino miharo ai tō hoa.
He aha te tikanga o te kīanga "ngā io o te rā tuatahi"?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Ko te mataku i te wā tuatahi e pā ana ki te manukanuka ina tūtaki koe ki tētahi tangata hou. Ko ētahi tāngata he māia noa iho ina tūtaki rātou ki ētahi atu. Ka tino angitu rātou ki ēnei mea, ā, ka taea te kī he rerekē te hanganga o rātou. Āe, tera pea nō tētahi atu aorangi rātou.
Engari he nui te wāhanga o te taupori kei roto i tētahi atu ao o te mataku mō te rā tuatahi kaua e hikoi atu me ngā pū e mura ana. Ko te nuinga o tātou, āe, ka manukanuka ina tata tātou ki te tūtaki ki tētahi tangata hou. Koinā te wā ka pā mai ai te mataku ki te wā tuatahi.
Ina wiri koe, ka taupatupatu koe i a koe e kōrero ana, ka pōrearea koe i a koe e whakahaere ana i ngā mea, ā, ka puta pea he ahua ngoikore koe i mua i te rā. Engari ko te mea me mārama koe, he pai noa iho te pēnei. Ka puta he kaha hihiri i roto i te io, ā, he maha ngā wā, ka pērā te ahua o ngā hoa, ngā hoa rānei e rā ana.
Ka hoatu he pā taiao ki te whakaritenga, ā, ka puta he mahana ki te rā. Ka whakaatu i te pono o ō whanonga, ā, he mea ātaahua pea. Arā, he tino ataahua te mataku i te rā tuatahi.
Nō reira, whakarērea ngā kare kino katoa e pā ana ki te mataku i mua i te rā, ā, awhia mai. Heoi anō, me titiro tātou me pēhea te wikitoria i te pouri o te rā tuatahi, kia kore ai e hinga ngā tūru, ngā karāhe rānei, e hanga rānei i tētahi atu hapa nui.
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Me pēhea taku whakamarie i ōku io i mua i te rā tuatahi?
Tuatahi, me whakangā koe, me manawa pai ake. He nui te pēhanga i ngā rā tuatahi, kia ātaahua te āhua, kia pai te whakaaro, kia ngana hoki kia manakohia. Engari ko te mea me mārama anō hoki koe, ko te mea pea, kei te mataku hoki te tangata kē atu mō tēnei rā tuatahi. E pai ana hoki rātou ki a koe, koia te take i konei ai rātou i te tuatahi. Nō reira, kia māia kei a rātou anō ā rātou ake kaupapa hei miharo i a koe. Kei roto kōrua i te waka kotahi, tata tonu.
Ki te mea kei te āwangawanga koe, tera pea ka puta he hapa i tō rā. Kāore he he o tēnā. ako i kitea ko te mate manukanuka pāpori (SAD) te tuatoru o ngā mate hinengaro tino kitea, e pāngia ana e te 15 miriona tāne me ngā wāhine i te US. Kia whakamarietia koe i te mea ehara koe i te mokemoke, kua pāngia hoki e te nuinga o ngā tāngata i mua i te rā tuatahi.
Hei āwhina i a koe ki tēnei āhuatanga, kua hipokina e mātou ētahi tohutohu hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau me te mārama ki te toi o te whakamarie i ngā io i mua i te rā tuatahi. Nō reira, kua rite koe ki te hinga i ō io i te rā tuatahi? Anei ngā tohutohu 13 hei āwhina i a koe i roto i ēnei āhuatanga.
1. Kei te mataku koe i mua i te rā? Kōwhiria te whakamarie kaua te āwangawanga
He rite te koretake ki te wā tuatahi. Kāore koe i te tino mōhio ki te tangata. Kāore koe i te mōhio he aha tāu e tumanako atu ai i a ia, me ō mataku i te wā tuatahi e pū ana, me koe anō hoki. Nā te nui o ngā tūponotanga ka pā ki a koe, ko te mea pai ko te whiriwhiri i tētahi wāhi kua mōhio kē koe.
I roto i ngā kupu hākinakina, e kiia ana he painga kāinga. Mena he whare kawhe, he wharekai rānei, ka mōhio koe ki tōna wāhi, ki tōna kai me tana ratonga. Mā tēnā ka tangohia te nui o te pēhanga i a koe e tūtaki ana ki te tangata, ā, ka taea e koe te arotahi ki a koe anō, ki te tangata, me te noho i roto i te wā. Nō reira, ki te mea kei te mataku koe mō te rā tuatahi me tētahi tāne, haria ia ki tētahi wāhi e tino pai ana koe. Ka tūtohu mātou kia kaua e haere tahi me tētahi pō whakatau i te kāinga nā te mea he wā wawe pea tēnā mō te rā tuatahi, ā, ka nui noa atu tō manukanuka.
Engari he nui atu ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi. Ki te whakatau koe ki te whai i tētahi rā i waho, i tētahi pāka, i tētahi pikiniki rānei i te taha o te awa, kia tino mōhio kei reira te wāhi e mataku ai koe i te pekepeke. (Ko ngā mataku pekepeke te pānga ki a koe e ngā kiriata whakamataku). Kāore tēnā e āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau pai i ngā mataku o te rā tuatahi.
2. "Haere mai i tō āhua o nāianei..."
Ki tā mātou whakaaro he mea pai te whakatangi i tēnei waiata Nirvana i te huarahi ki te rā whakaipoipo. Ko te tikanga, kaua e hanga he tumanakohanga koretake, he tumanakohanga nui rānei mai i a koe anō, mai i tō hoa rānei. He maha ngā pouri i puta mai i ngā rā tuatahi i ngā tumanakohanga koretake. Ā, i te mea kei te ngana kē koe ki te whakakore i te mataku i te rā tuatahi, ko te tumanako nui rawa atu i a koe anō he huarahi tino pai ki te tuku i a koe ki raro.
He tino pai te wehe atu i te rā me te kore e tutuki i a koe te mea i hiahiatia e koe. Ā, ka māmā ake tēnei mēnā kāore koe e matapae wawe i ngā mea. Nō reira, kia mau ki tēnei ngā tumanakohanga whanaungatanga tūturu.
Ko tētahi o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine tino arohaina o Hollywood, a John Krasinski rāua ko Emily Blunt, i whai i tētahi haerenga tuatahi i runga i te tere tere. He rerekē ki tētahi wharekai, i whakatau a John ki te kawe i a Emily ki tētahi papa pupuhi mō tētahi haerenga tuatahi! I te tau 2012, i kī a John i roto i tētahi uiuinga, "Ki taku whakaaro i tino mohio ahau kāore rawa ahau e noho tahi me ia, nā reira i whakatau ahau ki te whakapau kaha tonu." Āe, i pai te haere mō rāua; kua moe rāua, ā, e rua ā rāua tamāhine ataahua inaianei!
3. Kei te manukanuka koe mō te rā tuatahi me te kōtiro? He 'hoa wiriwiri' tōu
Kāore he kino, kāore he whakama ki te waea atu ki tō hoa pai, ki tō hoa rānei, me te kī atu "Kei te pōuri rawa ahau nā te mea he tino ātaahua rawa tēnei kōtiro, ā, kei te āwangawanga ahau kei kore ia e pai ki ahau" me te "Kei te pīrangi ahau e hoa". Koinei te mahi a ngā hoa. Kia noho tonu ki reira, kia whakarongo ki a koe ina pōrearea koe. Ko te rapu tautoko mai i ngā hoa, i te whānau rānei tētahi o ngā huarahi pai ki te whakamarie i ō pōuri o te rā tuatahi.
Mā rātou koe e āwhina ki te whakamarie i a koe i mua i tō haerenga ki te rā tuatahi. Mēnā e mōhio pai ana rātou ki a koe, tērā pea ka tika ā rātou kupu, ā, ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakakore i ō mataku katoa mō te rā tuatahi. Nō reira, waea atu, tuku karere rānei ki te tangata e noho haumaru ana koe, ka kī atu kei te pāngia koe e te mataku nui mō te rā tuatahi. Kata atu mō taua mea, ka tangohia atu i roto i tō tinana. Ka pai ake tō hinengaro mō tō rā tuatahi.
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4. Kia mōhio ake koe ki a koe anō
Nā, anei te mea. Kāore he tangata e mōhio ana ki tō kaha io i a koe anō. Nō reira, whakaarohia ngā mea katoa e mahia ana e koe ina io koe. Tērā pea he ngau i ō maikuku, he nekeneke i ō waewae, he noho pōturi, he whanoke, he mahi tinihanga noa iho rānei. Ko te mōhio ki tētahi raruraru ko te haurua o te pakanga kua toa. Ā, ki te mea he raruraru te noho pōturi, kia aro nui koe, kia ngana hoki ki te pai ake te whakarongo ki tō rā.
Ki te mataku koe mō te rā tuatahi, whakamanawa atu ki a koe anō kei te whakapau kaha koe ki te whakatika i ō ngoikoretanga. Ki te mōhio koe ki aua ngoikoretanga, ā, ka whakaaroaro nui ki aua ngoikoretanga, e kore koe e mahi i aua ngoikoretanga. Koinei tonu te mahi a tō tātou roro. Tērā pea he nui ake te mahi me te kaha e hiahiatia ana i tō whakaaro, engari ki te pai koe ki tēnei tāne, ki tēnei kōtiro rānei, ka whai hua.
Me tētahi atu tohutohu: kia whakahaere i tō taiao. Hei tauira, ki te mea he āhua nekeneke tōu, kaua e pupuri i ō kī, kaua hoki e mau i ngā whakapaipai nui rawa e iri ana i tō tinana. Ki te mea he āhua nekeneke ō waewae (pēnei i ahau), whakatūria ō waewae kia mau, kia kore ai koe e tīmata mārire ki te mahi i tēnā.
5. Hoatu he wā okiokinga ki a koe anō kia mutu ai te mataku i mua i te rā
Whakawāteahia he wā ki te noho me ō whakaaro. I ētahi wā me whai kupu whakatenatena anō hoki koe ki a koe anō. Kāore he whara i te kī atu ki a koe anō "He rā tuatahi noa iho tēnei" me "Kaua e amuamu mō tēnei mea" me te kī "He tino ataahua tō āhua, ā, ka angitu koe" .
Mā te hoatu i ētahi tohutohu, i ētahi kaupapa rānei ki a koe anō ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau i ngā āwangawanga o te rā tuatahi. Nō reira, kōrero ki a koe anō i mua i te whakaata, kia noho hei hoa pai mōu ake, ā, hoatu he tohutohu ki a koe anō. miharo ki tētahi kōtiro he tāne rānei. Mā ngā mea pēnei i te whakatau i tāu e hiahia ana ki te inu, i tāu e hiahia ana ki te kai rānei, ka āwhina i a koe ki te wareware i ngā āwangawanga.
Ahakoa kāore koe e hono atu, he wheako tonu. Me whai hoa kino anō hoki koe i te ao kia ako ai koe i ngā mea kāore e tika kia mahia i te wā e whai ake nei. Nō reira, whakarērea, ka haere atu me te ataata nui.
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6. Kakahuria tō pukupuku
Ko tētahi o ngā huarahi pai hei whakakore i te mataku i tō rā tuatahi ko te whakakakahu i tō kākahu tino pai. Kei te rapu koe i ngā wāhi, i ngā huihuinga rānei hei whakaatu i tō kakahu pango iti (LBD) me tō koti tina hina kanapa i hokona e koe? Āe, koinei te wā tika.
Ki te mea kei te tino hiahia koe kia kaua e mataku mō te rā tuatahi me tētahi tāne, kia mau koe i ō rekereke teitei, i ō rīpene ngutu, ā, kia tino ātaahua hoki tō āhua. Mā te whakakakahu i te āhua e pai ana ki a koe, kia pai ai tō wairua, ka whakapakari ake i tō whakapono ki a koe anō.
Ka whakapakari i tō ake ahua i roto i tō hinengaro, ā, ka rite koe mō ngā mea kei mua i a koe. Ā, ki tā mātou whakaaro, koinei te huarahi pai ki te patu i te mataku i te wā tuatahi. Ina āhua māia koe, ka māia koe, ā, koinei te mea nui ki te whai wāhi ki ngā wā tuatahi. He aha te kakahu mo te ra tuatahi he mea nui tēnei, nō reira kia kaha ki te mahi.
7. Kati te tumanako ki te tau ki te marama
E mōhio ana tātou katoa ki te kīanga, "Whāia te marama, ki te kore koe e whiwhi, ka mutu koe ki ngā whetū." Āe, he pai noa iho mēnā kei te mataku koe mō te rā tuatahi, ā, kāore koe e mutu ki roto i ngā whetū. Ka whakatakotohia e tātou he tumanako teitei mai i ngā rā tuatahi, ā, ki te kore e angitu, ka mutu ka whakatau wawe tātou pēnei i te "Kāore au e haere anō ki te rā", he mea kino pea tēnei.
Kāore he aha mena kāore ngā mea e pai ana ki a koe me tētahi. Ehara i te mea ko ngā tāngata katoa e tūtaki ana koe ka taea te noho hei aroha mō tō ao. Ko ētahi tāngata ka tere te hono atu ina tūtaki rātou, ko ētahi me whakamātau me te hapa i mua i te kitenga o tētahi hononga. Ki te whakaaro koe kua tae ki te wā ki te hoki whakamuri i ngā whanaungatanga, ki te mutu rānei Dating He whakatau whakaaro nui pea tēnā. He pai tonu te whai wā okioki.
Whakaarohia pēnei: kāore koe e hoko noa i te kākahu tuatahi ka kite koe i te toa ka haere tonu atu. Waihoki, kāore e hiahiatia kia mura tō rā tuatahi me te tangata tuatahi i hono atu koe. Ko tētahi huarahi nui hei whakakore i te mataku i te rā tuatahi ko te whakamārama ki a koe anō he pai te eke tekesi ki te kāinga, me te kore e whiwhi i tāu i hiahia ai. I whakamātau koe. He toa rerekē pea, i te wā e whai ake nei.
8. Whakangāwarihia te manawa hei whakamarie i ngā io i mua i te rā
I ētahi wā, kāore koe e hiahia ki te kawe i tō hoa rangatira ki tētahi tina, ki tētahi rā whakaipoipo ataahua rānei i te pāka i whakaritea e kōrua. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te pēhi tonu i a koe anō mō te āhua o te kakahu, te aha me te nui o ngā kōrero hei kōrero i te rā tuatahi.
Ka nui rawa tō whakaaro, ka nui noa atu pea tō hē. Te kōrero poto, te kōrero rānei te tīmata i tētahi kōrero Mō tētahi tira waiata e pai ana ki a koe, mō tētahi kōrero rorirori rānei mō te whakapōrearea i te karanga a tō hoa, he nui noa iho i ētahi wā. Kia maumahara he mea nui kia pai rātou ki a koe mō tō āhua o roto. Nō reira, he aha koe ka huna ai i a koe?
He pai te rā tuatahi, pērā i te panuku i ngā rīpene rorirori i runga i te Instagram. Ā, i mua i tō mōhio, ka waiho hei hononga pai i waenganui i a kōrua, ā, ka mōhio koe he kuware noa iho kōrua, ā, ka mataku rawa atu kōrua mō te rā tuatahi me te tāne, te kōtiro rānei.
Ko te patu i te mataku o te wā tuatahi ko te mōhio ehara i te mea ko te kawe mai i ngā pū kōrero nui me te pupuhi i te hinengaro o te wā tuatahi kia tae mai te rangatiratanga. Nō reira, kia marino, kia rere te kōrero. Ko te mea nui, kia nui te ngahau!
9. Whakakorea rātou i roto i te rohe hoa, engari i roto i te huarahi pai
E mōhio ana mātou, e mōhio ana mātou. Mā te kupu 'rohe hoa' ka whakaoho i te mataku i roto i tō roro. Engari ko tētahi o ngā huarahi pai rawa atu, me te tino whai hua hoki ki te wikitoria i te pouri tuatahi ko te whakaaro he tūtaki koe ki tētahi hoa i muri i te wā roa. Me hono anō koe ki a rātou, me kōrero ki a rātou mō ō āhuatanga, ā, me te mōhio anō ki a rātou.
Mā tēnei ka tangohia te pēhanga, ā, ka āwhina i a koe kia mutu te mataku i mua i te rā tuatahi. He maha ngā wā, ko te manukanuka i te rā tuatahi, ko te manukanuka pāpori rānei, ka puta mai i te wehi hohonu kei whakakahoretia, me te maunga o ngā tumanako e takoto ana i runga i a koe anō. Ka tiaki koe i tēnā, ka whakakorea e koe ō mataku i te rā tuatahi.
Ki te whai hoa koe, ka ngāwari, ka mōhio hoki koe – he rerekē rawa atu tēnā i te mataku. Nō reira, me kī he hoa kē kōrua i roto i te hononga platonic, te tūtaki anō tetahi ki tetahi i roto i tētahi ao hou. Pērā ai, kāore koe e whakaatu i ngā tohu e mataku ana te tāne i te wā tuatahi o te rā tuatahi, ā, e kore ia e mōhio kei te werawera koe i roto i te tekesi i a koe e haere ana ki reira. Ka kitea e koe he nui ake tō marino. Nō reira, haere tonu ki te whakauru i tō hoa ki te rohe hoa mō tēnei wā.
10. Kei te manukanuka koe mō te rā tuatahi me te kōtiro? Katakata ki a koe anō
E mōhio ana tātou katoa ki te āhua o te mataku nui mō tētahi mea. Ka takaro noa tātou! Engari kāore he aha! Ngāna ki te kata ki ō ake hapa. Mā te mōhio ka tangohia te whakama, ā, ka kata pea tō hoa. Engari ko te mea nui, ka tangohia tō mataku kei raru ngā mea. Nā te mea ehara i te raruraru tā tātou e wehi nei, engari ko te whakama e whai ake nei.
Nō reira, ahakoa ka kite ohorere koe kei te mau koe i ngā hu kāore i te ōrite, kei te hē rānei te whakahua i tētahi mea i te tahua, kata noa iho. Ki te taea e koe te kata ki a koe anō, ka taea e koe te hinga i te mataku i te wā tuatahi.
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11. Waiata hei whakaora i a koe
Kei te manukanuka koe mō te rā tuatahi me tētahi tāne, wahine rānei e tūtaki ana koe mō te wā tuatahi? Whakaputaina te DJ i roto i a koe, ka rapu i a Spotify mō āu waiata pai rawa atu hei whakaoho i a koe, hei whakamutu hoki i te manukanuka rawa mō te rā tuatahi. He mea nui te waiata hei patu i ngā manukanuka o te rā tuatahi. Ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakamama i te wairua, te tango i te ahotea, me te tahuri ke atu i te pēhanga o te rā.
Ahakoa he waiata toka tawhito, he waiata trance, he waiata tawhito rānei tāu waiata, whakatangihia ngā ara e whakakī ana i tō kaha, e whakanui ake ai i tō wairua tangata māia he wahine rānei mō tāu hoa. Ka whakaoho ake i a koe i mua i tō urunga atu ki te rohe, ā, ka whakamarie hoki i a koe.
12. Inuhia he inu hei whakamarie i ngā io i mua i te rā
Ehara i te mea kino te inu kotahi i mua i te haerenga ki te rā tuatahi hei whakatau i te mataku o te rā tuatahi. Mā te karāhe waina, mā te inu rānei i tētahi inu iti o tō kawa Scotch tino pai ka whakaiti i te manukanuka e pū ana i roto i a koe. Engari me mutu ki te kotahi, kaua ki te nui rawa. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te whakaroa i tō whakaaturanga i a koe anō. Ā, ki te iti tō manawanui ki te waipiro, me karo atu i tēnei.
13. Tikina he huaora mōku
Ko te huarahi pai ki te whakatau i te mataku i te wā tuatahi ko te whakapau i te wā kounga ki a koe anō. Mahia ngā mea e pai ana ki a koe, e pārekareka ana ki a koe. Haere ki te whare takaro tinana, kia werawera koe. Haere rānei ki te whare whakapaipai kanohi, ki te mirimiri rānei hei whakamarie i ō kare ā-roto. He tino pai ngā endorphins hei whakanui, ā, ina mahi koe i ngā mea e pai ana ki a koe, ka waipuketia koe e ngā homoni harikoa, ā, ka tere ake tō māia.
Ka taea te whakamaori i te wā pai mōku ake hei wā pai mō te rā whānau nā te mea kua hou kē koe, kua whakakahangia hoki, ā, ko te tumanako ka tiaho mai i tō whakangungu tinana, i tō mirimiri rānei. Kia whai wā koe ki a koe anō, ka mārama tō hinengaro, ka tangohia atu ngā mea katoa i roto i a koe. he iti te kiritau ā, kia ara ake tō wairua.
Tērā pea ka ea te mahi. Whakamātauria tētahi, ētahi rānei o ēnei tohutohu hei whakatau i te mataku o te rā tuatahi, ka hikoi atu ki taua rā me te māia me te hihiri. Ko tā mātou tohutohu whakamutunga, kāore i te mana, hei āwhina i a koe i te rā tuatahi, ko te noho ko koe anake ahakoa he tohu iti kei te mataku te tāne i te rā tuatahi. Ko te nui o tō ngana ki te huna, ko te nui ake o tō manukanuka mōna.
Heoi anō, ka taea e koe te ngahau me te tangata mena ka pai ia ki a koe mō tō āhua, kaua mō te āhua i hangaia e koe. Kia ora! Ko te tumanako ka angitu koe i tō rā tuatahi, ā, ka maha atu anō ōu hoa.
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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
