Ko te ariā o te whakaipoipo a ngā wāhine pakeke ki ngā tāne taitamariki, he mea whakahāwea, he mea whakahē tonu. Ko te nuinga o te tangata kāore e taea te mārama ko ngā wāhine pakeke ehara i te mea ka taea te whakaipoipo engari ka taea hoki e rātou te whiwhi tāne he iti ake i a rātou. E whakaatuhia ana ngā wāhine e te hapori he tamariki, he harakore, me tiaki e tētahi pakeke, kaha ake.
Kāore i te pērā i ēnei rā. He rerekē te aroha me te whakaipoipo i ēnei rā, ā, he rerekē rawa ngā kaupapa matua. Kāore he rohe o te aroha, ā, kāore he here o te tau, te wā, te wāhi rānei. Ko te kōrero e whai ake nei e tino whakarapopoto ana i tēnei whanaungatanga:
Ngā Wahine Pakeke e Whakaipoipo ana i ngā Tāne Rangatahi
Ripanga o Ihirangi
I haere mai ia ki roto i taku tari. I te mea he rōia matua ahau i te umanga ture, i tika ahau ki tētahi kāpata, engari ko ngā rōia whakamātautau me ngā rōia taitamariki katoa i noho ki te wāhi o waho. I noho tuwhera tonu te tatau o taku kāpata, nā te mea he kōnae, he tohutoro rānei e hiahiatia ana. I titiro ake ahau i te pukapuka poto i aro nui ahau ki reira, ā, ka kite ahau i tētahi takirua kanohi parauri ataahua e arotake ana i ahau.
"Ae?"
Kāore ia i whakapāha mō tōna hopukanga. "E kui, i tonoa ahau ki te kohi pepa mō te whakawakanga āpōpō mō te keehi 'Sunita Pal'."
I taua wā katoa, kāore tana titiro i memeha. I ngokingoki ahau i roto i taku tūru. Kāore ngā kanohi i tango i ahau, engari kāore ahau i taunga ki te tirotirohia. I kaha taku mahi kia tae ki tēnei taumata o taku mahi, ā, i te 37 o ōku tau, kāore au e hiahia kia whakararuraru mai tētahi taitamariki hou ki ahau. Mena i whakaaro ia koinei te huarahi tīmatanga o te whakaipoipo i tētahi kōtiro i te mahi , he mea anō kei te haere mai.
“Ko wai tōu ingoa, e tama?”
“E Āruna,” tana whakahoki, me te whakaute e tika ana.
"Āe, e Arjun, kua kite ahau kua kohia e koe ngā pepa. He mea anō kei reira?"
"Kāo, e Kui."
Tata tonu ahau ki te pouri. Engari i pōhēhē ahau i tēnā, i a au e pōhēhē ana i aku tau i roto i te whare takaro. He ingoa pai tōku hei tiaki, tae atu ki te riri ki ngā taiohi kua taunga ki te whakamātautau, te whakawhanaungatanga ki ngā hoa mahi, te kukume i ngā kiritaki, me te kore he oranga pāpori. Koinā tonu tōku oranga.
Pānui e pā ana: Te Whakaae a te Wahine Kua Mārenatia e Aroha ana ki te Tāne Taiohi
I haere tonu mai ia, ā, i rapu tonu ahau i a ia
I muri i taua rā, ka puta tonu mai ia i roto i tōku kāpata, ka mau rānei i ahau i ngā ara raro. Oha mai ki ahau, ka haere tonu.
Tata ki te kotahi marama te roa. I kite ahau i ahau e hiahia ana ki te tūtaki ki a ia i ia rā, i ia rā. He rite ki tētahi tikanga. Kātahi ka kore ahau e kite i a ia. Nā tēnā ahau i pōhēhē ai. I te rā i muri mai ka kite ahau i ahau e hikoi ana i mua i tōna nohoanga. I pātai noa ahau, "Kāore a Arjun i tae mai i tēnei rā?"
Ka whakahoki tetahi o ētahi me te whakaute, "E kui, kei te hararei ia mō tēnei wiki. Kua hoki ia ki te kāinga."
I pōkaikaha ahau, ā, ka haere ki taku kāpata. I ahua hē tetahi mea. Anei tētahi taitama, e 25 tau te pakeke, ko tōna ingoa anake taku i mōhio ai, ā, kua taea e ia te hopu i taku kiri.
I pahemo te wiki, ā, tata tonu ahau te taunga ki tōna ngaro. I te Mane i muri mai, i reira ia e tū ana i te tatau o taku kāpata, e titiro matatau ana. He aroha kei te haere mai i te tari? I whakarērea e au taua whakaaro mō taua wā. Ehara i te mea ko te whakaipoipo i tētahi hoa mahi taku whakataunga i taua tau.
"Mōrena, e kui. I kī mai taku hoa mahi kei te rapu koe i ahau. He mea nui, e kui?"
Tino whakamīharo
"Kāore he mea nui, e Arjun. Kāore noa ahau i kite i a koe i konei, nō reira ahau i pātai atu ai. Kei te pēhea ngā mea katoa i te kāinga?" I ngana ahau kia kōrero noa iho, engari kāore i pērā.
"Kei te pai ngā mea katoa, e kui. Ngā mātua kua kaumātuatia, te tuahine kāore anō kia marenatia, te kōrero noa mō te hunga o te akomanga waenga. I kawea mai e au ētahi mea reka māu. Nā tōku whaea ēnei i hanga, i mahara ahau ka pai ki a koe," ka whakatuwhera ia i tētahi pouaka o ngā besan laddoos reka.
"Ā, e Āruna, ka taea e koe te whakamātautau i tētahi atua ki ēnei," ka mea atu ahau, me te titiro atu ki ngā tama tāne.
"Kaua te Atua, e kui, ko koe anake," tana kī.
I titiro ake ahau, engari he harakore katoa ia. Kātahi ka tīmata te menemene iti i te kokonga o tōna waha.
"Arājun," ka mea atu ahau, me te ngana ki te tāpiri i te taumaha o ōku tau ki taua ingoa kotahi. Engari kāore i angitu. I tino hiahia ahau ki te tīmata ki te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne taitamariki ake?
Pānui e pā ana: I konei ahau e aroha ana ki tētahi tāne tekau tau te iti iho i ahau
I mōhio te iwi ki te mea e tupu ana
I haere tonu a Arjun ki te tūtaki ki ahau i ia rā, i runga i tētahi take, engari i whakakorekoretia e au hei hiahia noa iho. I tētahi rā i muri i te inu tahi me ōku hoa mahi, pērā i tā mātou tikanga o ia wiki, ka rongo ahau i tētahi o rātou e kī ana, "E Nidhi, kei waho tō kuri aroha e whanga ana."
I tahuri ahau, ā, ka kite atu i a Arjun e tū ana i waho o te pae. Heoi anō, kāore au i aro ki a ia, ahakoa ko te pono i hiahia ahau kia puta atu ki te whakatau i a ia. Engari i muri i tētahi wā, ka ngaro atu ia. I mōhio ahau me pai ake te taurite o te mahi me te oranga hei wahine, engari ehara te aroha o te tari i te huarahi tika.
I mutu ā mātou inu, kātahi ka wehe atu. I puta atu ahau i te pae, me te waea atu ki tētahi Uber i te wā i pā mai ai tētahi ringa ki tōku tuke.
"Ki te kore koe e whakahē, tēnā koa, me eke koe i taku pahikara i tēnei rā," te kī a Arjun, me te māia kāore au i kite i a ia e whakaatu ana i mua.
"Āe, Arjun, ka eke ahau i tētahi Uber," ka whakahoki ōhorere ahau.
"E Nidhi, kei te tūtaki te tekisi i tēnei rā, kāore koe e whiwhi tekisi. Tukua ahau kia haria koe ki te kāinga."
E rua ngā mea i pā i te wā kotahi. I karanga ia i ahau mā tōku ingoa tuatahi, ā, i aru mai ia i ahau ki te pae inu, ā, i tatari ia nā te mea kua pā te porotēhi. Kua tīmata te mura o tēnei aroha o te tari.
I whakaae ahau ki te eke
I pōkaikaha ahau, ā, ka piki ki runga i te pahikara, me te mihi ki aku whetu mō taku mau i te hūtu tarau poto, te kakahu i te potae i hoatu, ā, me te pupuri mārire i tōna hope i a māua e haere ana i tua atu i te rohe pakihi. Kāore ia i pātai mai mō taku wāhi noho.
I noho whakangāwari ahau ki runga i te nohoanga, me te mataku me te harikoa hoki. He upoko hou tēnei e puta ake ana. Mā ngā wāhine pakeke e whakaipoipo ana ki ngā tāne taitamariki ka tuwhera ō kanohi ki tētahi momo oranga hou. Tērā pea he arai nui te rerekētanga o ō rātou tau ?
I tohe tonu taku hinengaro huna: e hiahia ana tēnei taitama hou ki te whakamahi i tō tūranga, e hiahia ana ia ki te whakatairanga i tana mahi. Haunga tēnā, he aha tāu e tuku atu ana e kore e taea e te tangata 20-tau te pakeke he roa ōna waewae?
I ngana ahau ki te whakaiti i te reo, engari ka kaha haere tonu. Tangohia ana e ahau ōku ringa i tōna hope, ka pupuri ki te pae hiku. I whakaitihia e ia te tere o te pahikara i tēnei nekehanga, engari ka haere tonu.
I tae māua ki tōku whare. I noho pūmau te wairua o te pakeketanga ki runga i ōku pakihiwi. I heke iho ahau i te pahikara, kātahi ka whakaroa, kāore i te mōhio me tono atu rānei ahau i a ia ki roto, kāore rānei.
I whakarerekē ia i tana mahi
"Kaua e manukanuka, e kui. Ka tatari ahau kia marino koe. Ko koe te tangata e hiahia ana ahau kia noho tahi. Kua tono kē ahau ki tētahi atu umanga ture, nō reira kāore tō ingoa i poke. E mōhio ana ahau he whakapehapeha nāku, engari ki te whakaaro koe ki te haere tahi ki te kawhe i tētahi rā e wātea ana koe, ko ahau te wairua harikoa rawa atu."
I tū wiri ahau i reira, e mātakitaki ana i a ia e whakatere ana i tana pahikara me te haere. Engari kāore a Arjun i ngaro i ōku whakaaro. Ko te whakaipoipo i ngā wāhine pakeke ake he nui atu i te atawhai me ngā kupu whakaari noa iho. Mai i taua rā tonu, he reo manaaki kei roto i ana mihi o ia rā ki te tari, ā, ka tīmata ahau ki te kite.
I muri i ngā wiki e rua, ka wehe atu ia i tā mātou kamupene. I taua pō ka waea mai ia ki ahau, "E kui, ko Arjun tēnei. I whakaaro ahau me waea atu ahau ki a koe i tua atu i ngā hāora tari nā te mea kāore au e mahi ana i tāu kamupene."
"Āe, e Arjun," ka whakahoki ruarua ahau, kāre i te tino mōhio me pēhea te whakautu.
"E kui, tēnā koa haere mai ki te inu kawhe āpōpō ki 'Le Bistro' hei whakanui i taku mahi hou."
Kāore e taea e au te whakakore i tētahi tono māmā noa iho. "Āe, ka tae atu ahau i te 6 i te ahiahi."
Ko te tuatahi tēnā o ngā kawhe me ngā tina maha i whai ake tae noa ki tō māua nekenga ki te wāhi o tētahi ki tētahi. Kei roto i taku kākahu ōna kākahu, ā, i ngā ata maha, kāore au e kitea he koti nā te mea kua waiho e au ki tōna whare.
He aha kei mua i te aroaro?
Mā te wā anake e whakaatu te āhua o muri mai. Ae, he manukanuka ōku, engari kei te ako ahau ki te whakatau i aua manukanuka. Ehara i te mea ngāwari te wikitoria i ngā tau maha o te whakahāngai e whakahē ana i te whanaungatanga i waenga i te wahine pakeke me te tāne taitamariki.
Ka kite ahau i ngā titiro matatau mai a ētahi i roto i ngā wharekai e pātai ana mō tōku aroaro i te taha o taku hoa aroha, he whakaaro noa iho rānei nōku. Me kaha ake taku mahi ki te wetewete i ngā tikanga a te hapori, me te arotahi ki tēnei whanaungatanga ataahua kei roto i te ringaringa, kyonki har baat ki khoj to theek nahin, is kisse ko yun hi rehne do; usse bhi to sauda mumkin hai, humse bhi jafa ho sakti hai. Engari i nāianei, kua makona ahau.
(E ai ki te kōrero ki a Sheetal Choudhary)
Ngā Mea e Tika ana, Ngā Mea Kāore e Tika ana – Te Whakaipoipo i ngā Wahine Pakeke ki ngā Tāne Rangatahi
| hoki | Nga Tangata |
| 1. Kia tino aro atu ki a iaAhakoa he taitamariki ia, ko ia tonu tō hoa rangatira. Whakauruhia ia ki ngā whakataunga nui, ā, kia whai whakaaro nui ki ana whakaaro. | 1. Whakaitihia ia– He wahine kaumātua koe, he nui ake ōu wheako i a ia. Heoi, tukua ia kia ako i tōna ake tere. He taitama ia e tika ana kia ora i te ao i te tere pumau. |
| 2. Whakaatuhia o tumanakoTērā pea he rerekē ō tumanakohanga hei wahine kaumātua. Kaua e huna ō kare ā-roto, engari me kōrero ō rerekētanga kia pai ake ai te whanaungatanga. | 2. Whakateretere ia ia – Tērā pea he rerekē ōu kaupapa matua. Akene me noho noa koe i a ia e hiahia ana ki te haereere. Kaua e takahi i a ia, engari me tuku noa i a ia te wā ki te whakatau i tana e hiahia ana. |
FAQs
I pāngia te tokorua e te tirotiro a te hapori, ngā āwangawanga ā-roto mō te rerekētanga o ō rāua tau, me ngā kaupapa matua rerekē o te ao. I mahi rāua ki te wikitoria i ngā whakaaro tawhito me te kimi i ngā huarahi e pai ai te noho tahi kia angitu ai tā rāua hononga.
I whakatairangahia e rātou te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera, i whakaute i ngā tirohanga a tētahi ki tētahi, ā, i whakapau kaha ki te whakauru i a rātou anō ki ngā whakataunga nui. Nā tēnei huarahi i āwhina i a rātou ki te hanga i tētahi hononga kaha, whakaute hoki.
Kāore anō kia mārama te heke mai, engari e whakapau kaha ana te tokorua ki te aro atu ki ngā wero. Kei te hanga tonu rāua i tō rāua whanaungatanga i runga i te whakawhirinaki, te whakaute, me te aroha, me te whakatere i ngā tikanga pāpori me te tipu whaiaro.
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
Ki taku whakaaro, kaua e pā te pakeketanga ki te tokorua mēnā ko te aroha anake te mea e mahi tahi ana rāua. Ki te kaha te hononga, tautokohia tetahi i tetahi, i ngā wā katoa o tō kōrua oranga.