Ko te kupu 'patunga tapu' e tohu ana i te tukunga a te tangata i tētahi mea e whakanuia ana e ia mō tētahi mea, mō tētahi atu rānei. Me tuku, me tango hoki i roto i ia whanaungatanga – engari koinei te raruraru! Ahakoa te ahua nui o te patunga tapu i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, i roto i tēnei tuhinga, ka tūhuratia e tātou tōna tikanga tūturu.
Me tauutuutu te whakaae, engari he mea kotahi te taha o te patunga tapu. Inaa, he kupu hauora ake te whakaae. He rerekētanga nui i waenga i te patunga tapu me te whakaae.
- He pai te whakaae tahi, engari he taha kotahi te patunga tapu.
- Ko te whāinga o te whakaae tahi he whakaoti rapanga i roto i te whanaungatanga. I ētahi wā, he whāinga whakahē pea tō te patunga tapu, arā, kia meinga te hoa rangatira kia whakaaro he mea tika kia patunga tapu ia, kia whakaititia rānei ia i tētahi ara.
- Mā te patunga tapu ka meinga te tangata e patunga tapu ana kia te ririMēnā he whakaaetanga hauora, e whakaaro ana ngā taha e rua kua tika te whakahaere i a rātou.
He pēhea te hiranga o te patunga tapu i roto i te whanaungatanga?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
I roto i tētahi whanaungatanga aroha, ko te patunga tapu a tētahi hoa i tētahi mea nui he tohu tautoko mō tētahi atu hoa. Engari, ki te nui rawa te tautoko nei, ka arahi pea ki te hoa (e patunga tapu ana) kia noho pōuri. tangohia mo te koreTērā pea ka arahi i te hoa rangatira ki ngā tumanakohanga koretake mai i tā rātou hoa rangatira. Ka puta tēnei mēnā ka nui rawa, ka maha rawa hoki ngā patunga tapu a tētahi tangata, ā, ka hua ake he raruraru i roto i tō kōrua whanaungatanga. I te nuinga o ngā wā, kāore te iwi e mahi nui ana.
I ētahi wā, ka pāngia tō tātou waiaro ki te patunga tapu i roto i te whanaungatanga e ngā tūranga ira tangata, ngā tikanga pāpori me ō tātou wheako ki ō tātou mātua. Ki te rapu koe i tētahi whakautu ki te pātai "e hia te nui o te patunga tapu i roto i te whanaungatanga?" whakaarohia te whakaaro whakamuri o te 'wahine tino pai', te tangata e tunu kai ana, e horoi ana, e whiwhi moni ana, e tiaki ana i ngā pēpi i te wā kotahi.
A ako i whakaputaina i roto i te Social Psychological and Personality Science i kitea ko te hunga he iti te whakaaro ki a rātou anō e patunga tapu ana i roto i te whanaungatanga he maha tonu te pouri mō te patunga tapu. Tērā pea ka pāngia rātou e te "wairua kino, te ahotea nui ake me te iti o te makona ki te ao". Ka taea e rātou pāngia e te pouri, te pouri me te riri.
He pono, ka pouri te tangata mō te patunga tapu i tōna wā waatea hei whakarongo ki tā rātou hoa e amuamu ana mō taua mea anō mō te tuawhā o ngā wā i taua wiki. E hia atu ngā wā ka taea e koe te kī "Hmm" me te "Ae" i mua i te kore e taea e koe te manawanui? Mā te patunga tapu i tō harikoa mō te mea e arohaina ana e koe ka arahina koe ki te wāhi pōuri, nā te mea ka kino tō hauora hinengaro.
Nō reira, he mea nui te patunga tapu i roto i te whanaungatanga? Ahakoa ko te whakautu poto he āe, me pātai koe ki a koe anō i ēnei pātai i mua i te tuku i taua patunga tapu i roto i te whanaungatanga:
- Kei te tino whakapau kaha koe ki te whanaungatanga?
- Kei te whakaaro koe ka patu whakahere anō hoki tō hoa i tētahi mea māu?
- E mōhio ana tō hoa ki tō patunga tapu, ā, e whakanui ana hoki i a ia?
- He aha te mea e akiaki ana i a koe ki te mahi i taua patunga tapu?
- Ka taea te whiriwhiri me te whakatutuki i tētahi whakaaetanga?
Te pānui e pā ana: 12 Ngā Mea Kaua rawa e Whakarerekētia i roto i te Hononga
Ngā Patunga Iti me ngā Patunga Nui
He tini ngā tauira o te patunga tapu i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ka patunga tapu ngā hoa rangatira mō ā rātou hoa rangatira; ngā mātua mō ā rātou tamariki, ngā tuākana/teina mō tētahi ki tētahi – he mea noa te patunga tapu. Hei tauira, ki te whiwhi mahi tō hoa rangatira i tētahi atu tāone, me wehe pea koe i tō ake kāinga, ka neke atu hoki.
Anō hoki, i te wā e tamariki tonu ana ngā tamariki, he tokomaha ngā wāhine me whakarērea ā rātou wawata mahi, ka whai wāhi ki te okioki hei tiaki i ā rātou tamariki.
He whiringa whaiaro te patunga tapu. E mōhio ana ahau i taku mutunga mahi mō ngā tau e whā i te wā e tamariki ana aku tamariki, ehara i te wā pai o tōku ao. Nā tōku pouri i meinga ai ahau hei mātua 'kore i te pai'. Nā te mea i noho pōuri ahau i te kāinga i meinga ai ahau kia noho mokemoke. I ngaro ahau i te āhua o te tari.
I nui ake tōku harikoa, ā, nō reira, i pai ake tōku whaea i taku tīmatanga ki te mahi i te wā e whā tau te pakeke o taku teina.
Engari he wheako tino whaiaro tēnei. Tērā pea ka kitea e ētahi wāhine he tino pai te okioki i te mahi, te noho rānei hei whaea noho kāinga, hei atawhai i ā rātou tamariki.
Ko te patunga tapu i roto i te whanaungatanga ka ahu mai i ngā mea iti pēnei i te mātakitaki i tētahi whakaaturanga pouaka whakaata e hiahia ana tō hoa rangatira ki te mātaki, tae atu ki te tiaki i ōna mātua, ahakoa ngā rerekētanga ki a rāua. He patunga tapu nui te whakakore i tētahi whakatairanga nā te mea he kawenga kāinga.
He iti noa iho ngā patunga tapu e hiahiatia ana mō ngā whanaungatanga, arā, te whakatau i tētahi taonga hei hoko nā te mea ko tāna i whiriwhiri ai, te karanga rānei i ana hoa ki te kai tina ahakoa te ngenge. Me whai patunga tapu rānei ngā whanaungatanga? Mēnā kei te rapu koe ki te hanga me te pupuri i tētahi hononga pai, he wāhanga nui o te tukanga te patunga tapu i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga.
Ngā Mea Kaua rawa e Whakamatea i roto i te Hononga
Ko te whakarerekē i a koe anō kia neke atu i tētahi wāhi hei hoa rangatira he tunu mō te aituā. Ki te kore e taea e koe te noho ko koe tonu me te tangata e arohaina ana e koe, e arohaina ana hoki koe, ka ngaro tō tuakiri, ā, ka ngaro atu tō harikoa. Ko ēnei momo whanaungatanga, ina patua e te hoa tōna ake tuakiri, ka tino heke iho. Mā te mōhio ki te nui o te patunga tapu i roto i te whanaungatanga ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau i te rerekētanga i waenga i te whakamahinga me te noho i roto i te whanaungatanga aroha.
In Ko te Fountainhead, ko te kaituhi a Ayn Rand, kāore i whakapono ki te atawhai tangata, he nui ake tōna kaha ki te kōrero. "Te patunga tapu i a ia anō? Engari ko te tangata tonu te mea kāore e taea te patunga tapu, ā, kāore hoki e tika kia patua."
Nā te kaiwaiata me te kaituhi waiata o Ingarangi, a Zayn Malik, i kī penei: "He katakata te ao. Ka rerekē ngā mea, ka rerekē ngā tāngata, engari ko koe tonu ko koe, nō reira kia pono ki a koe anō, kaua rawa e patu i a koe mō tētahi atu."
Anei ngā mea kāore e tika ana kia patua e koe i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga.
1. Whakakoretanga
Ko te mea tino taketake o ngā tika tangata, kāore e taea te whakararu i te herekoretanga i roto i te whanaungatanga. Me whakarite koe kia kaua tō herekoretanga e takahi i te herekoretanga o tō hoa.
Kāore rānei koe e whara i a ia i tētahi ara. He tauira pai tēnei te takaro i tētahi pātiAhakoa he mahi whakahāngai i te herekore whaiaro te takaro takaro, ki te kore e tika, ka whara pea tō hoa. He mea nui anō hoki te herekore pūtea. Mā tēnei ka taea e koe te whakatau kaupapa me te kore e whakaaro he herenga koe ki tētahi, kāore hoki he herenga i tētahi ara.
Kāo, kāore tō hoa rangatira e takahi ana i tō herekoretanga mēnā e hiahia ana ia kia haere tahi koe me ia ki te toa hokohoko i ia wā, i ia wā. Pērā anō hoki mōna e hiahia ana ki te kōrero ki a koe mā te waea, engari ko koe e pai ake ana ki te mātaki kiriata me te moe i runga i te tūru. Ehara i te mea ko ngā mahi nui rawa te mea nui hei mahi i roto i te whanaungatanga, engari he mea ngāwari noa iho pērā i te haere ki te toa hokohoko.
2. Ko o hiahia
Ki te mea he ngākau nui tōu ki tāu mahi, ā, me whakarērea e koe nā ngā akiaki a te whānau, he mea nui tēnā patunga tapu koretake. E kore rawa koe e harikoa ki te mahi i tēnei patunga tapu. Heoi anō, kaua tō hoa e tumanako kia pērā koe. Engari, me noho tahi kōrua, ka tae ki tētahi whakaaetanga hauora.
Ina ako koe i te rerekētanga i waenga i te patunga tapu me te whakaae i roto i te whanaungatanga, ka taea e koe te whakakore i ngā tumanakohanga koretake a tō hoa mōu. Ahakoa kāore ia e hiahia ana kia pērā koe, ehara i te mea kāore koe e whai i ō moemoeā. Ki te kore tō moemoeā e hua ake i a koe te whakapau moni katoa ki ngā moni matihiko. Whakarongo pea ki tō hoa mō tēnā!
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3. Tō whānau me ō hoa
I roto i te marena, i tētahi atu whanaungatanga rānei, i ētahi wā ka nui te kaha me te wā e whakatapua ana e koe ki tō hoa. Tērā pea kāore e ranea te wā mōu mō ngā hoa me te whānau.
Kaua rawa e tukua kia mate ēnei atu whanaungatanga, ehara i te mea nā te mea he hunga manaaki rātou ki a koe, ā, e manaakihia ana hoki e koe, engari nā te mea he pūnaha tautoko nui rātou. Kaua rawa te patunga tapu i roto i te whanaungatanga e tohu i te tuku i ō hoa.
4. Nga Uara
Kāore he hua o te whakarere i ō uara nā te mea ka waiho koe me te āhua o te kore whakamarie me te ngaro o te mārama ki a koe anō. Nō reira, mēnā he hoa rangatira tōu mō te ao e e rite ana ngā uara kātahi ka harikoa tōu ao.
Engari ki te whakaaro ia he pai te tango i ngā utu whakapati, ā, ki tō whakaaro koinei te mahi tino hē, kāti ka kore koe e harikoa i roto i te marena. Ki te mea me whakaae koe ki ngā ara o tō hoa, me te karo i tō ake pūnaha uara, kāti kei te patu koe i ō whakapono matua mō te whanaungatanga, ā, kāore e tika ana.
5. Te whakaute i a koe anō, te mana rānei
Kaua rawa e whakaiti i tō whakaaro ki a koe anō mā te rapu tonu i te whakamana i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga. Ki te mea kua tunua e koe tētahi kai motuhake, kia harikoa koe kua mahi koe i tētahi mea auaha mā te hunga e arohaina ana e koe.
Kaua e me tumanako ki ngā mihi. Ae, kia pai ki te kai mēnā ka tae mai ki a koe! Engari kei reira ētahi tāngata e tumanako ana kia kīia mai e ō rātou whānau i roto i ngā huarahi 15 ko rātou te kai tunu tino pai. Ehara i te mea koia koe.
6. Ngā whakapono wairua
Tērā pea he rerekē ngā whakapono wairua o ngā hoa tokorua. Tērā pea he Hinitū tetahi, he Buddhist tetahi. Tērā pea he whakapono tetahi ki tētahi mana teitei ake, ko tētahi he kore whakapono ki te Atua, he kore whakapono rānei ki te Atua.
He wāhi tēnei e wātea ana te katoa ki te whakapono ki tā rātou e hiahia ana. Kāore e taea te whakaae ki tēnei āhuatanga. Me whakaae koe ki tēnā whakapono whakapono kaua e ngāwari te huri. Ko te patunga tapu i roto i te whanaungatanga kaua e tohu ko te whakarērea o ō whakapono i tetahi ara.
7. Te rangimarie o te hinengaro me te hauora hinengaro
He hononga ēnei. te whanau paitini Kāore e tika ana kia pā kino ki tō hauora hinengaro. Kaua e tukua tō hauora hinengaro, tō wairua rangimārie rānei, kia mate ai tetahi.
Ki te mea kei te whakahaere tō hoa i a koe, kei te whakahaere nui, ā, kei te whakahengia koe e te riri, me tū tonu koe mōu ake. Kaua rawa e tukua tetahi kia takaro ki tō hauora hinengaro. Me tū tonu.
Te pānui e pā ana: 13 Ngā Tohu o te Wahine Whakahaere hei Tūpato
He nui rawa ngā patunga tapu e mahia ana e koe i roto i te whanaungatanga?
I ētahi wā, tera pea kei te patu whakahere koe i roto i te whanaungatanga, me te kore e mōhio kei te mahi tonu koe i tēnā. Me hoatu e au he tauira. Kua whakaarohia e koe he aha koe kāore ai e toa i roto i tētahi tautohe me tō hoa? Nā te mea ka mutu, ka patu whakahere koe i tō whakaaro kia mau ai te rongo. Engari he tika tēnā?
Kua mōhio pea koe ki te whakautu. Ka mutu ka pirau tonu koe i roto i a koe, ā, ka kino tēnei ki tō hauora hinengaro. Ina mutu ka nui rawa āu patunga tapu i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, ka pā pea ēnei ki a koe.
- Ko koe te tangata e tuku ana, e patu whakahere ana i ngā wā maha
- Kei te mau tonu te taumahatanga o te whakahari i tō hoa
- Kāore koe e harikoa ana, engari riri me te riri
- He whārite mana kei roto i te whanaungatanga, ko koe tonu te tangata e heke iho ana i te tūranga.
- Kāore tō hoa e patu i tetahi mea, ko koe tonu
Ngā Mea Ka Taea e Koe te Whakamate i roto i te Hononga
Ehara i te mea kino katoa te patunga tapu i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ki te mea he tika te hihiri ki te patunga tapu, ka pai tō wairua. Hei tauira, ki te mea i whakarērea e koe te toenga o te ika me te parai i tata koe ki te kai nā te mea i hiahia tāu tama ki te kai anō, ka harikoa koe.
Ki te mea rānei i whakarērea e koe te haerenga mahi hei tiaki i tō hoa mate hei whakaora i a rātou kia ora anō, ka harikoa koe i te mea kei reira koe mō rātou i te wā e tino hiahiatia ana koe e rātou. Hei waihanga i ngā whanaungatanga whai hua, me patu ētahi mea. Kia kore ai koe e patu nui rawa i roto i te whanaungatanga i a koe e ngana ana ki te mahi i te mea tika, kua whakarārangihia e mātou ngā patunga tapu e whakaaetia ana e koe:
1. Te wā me te kaha
Me hoatu e koe tō wā me tō kaha ki tō hoa. Tērā pea ka waiho tō wā mokemoke, engari kāore e taea te karo i tēnā. Tērā pea ka taea e koe te whakatutuki i te taurite i muri i te kōrero ki tō hoa. Ki te whakamārama koe ki a ia me "wā mōku" koe hei whakahou i a koe anō, e tino mōhio ana ahau ka mārama tō hoa.
Heoi anō, tērā pea he rite tonu te hiahia o ia. Mō te kaha, tera pea he kaha ake tētahi o ngā hoa i tētahi atu. Engari kāore he aha. Kāore he take e uaua ai te hoa ngoikore ki te pupuri i te tere. Ki te whakaaro koe kei te patu koe i tō harikoa mō te mea e arohaina ana e koe mā te tuku i te Rātapu mangere i ētahi wā, me tīmata koe ki te mahi i ngā mea ngahau ake me tō hoa. Kāore he aha, kōrero atu ki a rātou mēnā e kino ana koe ki ngā wā yoga a te tokorua!
2. Tūmataiti
Ko te ngaronga o te tūmataitinga i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga piripono. Tērā pea he noho tahi i te rūma, he whakautu rānei i ngā pātai mō te tangata e kōrero ana koe i te waea. Heoi, ki te mea ngā rohe i roto i te whanaungatanga ka taea te whakaae tahi, ka āwhina ki te whakatau i te wā e whitihia ana ngā rārangi.
Waihoki, ka taea e kōrua te whakarite kia nui te wāhi e wātea ana tetahi ki tetahi ina hiahiatia. I taua wā anō, me whakarērea e kōrua te tūmataitinga i pārekareka ki a kōrua i a kōrua e takakau ana. Engari i tēnei wā, mā te whakarērea i roto i te whanaungatanga ka harikoa koe.
3. Tō whāinga whaiaro
Ae, i ētahi wā me whakarērea e tētahi hoa tāne tana ake whāinga. Tērā pea me whakakāhore ia i tētahi whakatairanga nā te mea he kawenga tiaki tamariki tāna. Mēnā e whakaae ana ngā hoa e rua ki te whakarērea tetahi mea, i ngā wā rerekē pea, ka tupu te whanaungatanga.
4. Te moni
He uaua tēnei. He maha ngā whanaungatanga ka hinga nā te kore whakaae mō te kaupapa moni. He take tēnei me ata whakahaere. Ki te kore, ka taea te hanga he raruraru – he raruraru e kore e taea te whakatau ngāwari.
I a koe e noho ana i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, me mārama koe kāore he tangata e tika ana i ngā wā katoa. Me whakaae koe ki te hinganga i ētahi wā, mena kei te tino whakapono koe he tika ake te tirohanga a te tangata kē. Tērā pea ka whakarērea e koe ō hiahia hokohoko nā te mea e hiahia ana tō hoa ki te penapena mō te heke mai. He pai tēnā. Engari kāore e taea e koe te manawanui. te kore whakapono ki te pūtea.
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5. Te mimiti i a koe anō
Me whakarērea e koe tō aro ki a koe anō. Ki te mea ko 'au, ko au, ko au anō' anake tō oranga, e kore e taea e koe te pupuri i tētahi whanaungatanga piripono. Me aro atu ngā hoa tokorua ki ngā mahi me ngā tirohanga a tētahi ki tētahi.
Kāore e taea e koe te noho hei tāne hiahia-ā-tangata he wahine hiahia-ā-tangata rānei; me mārama koe ki te hiranga o te patunga tapu i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga kia angitu ai. Ki te kore e taea e koe te patunga tapu, tera pea ka taea e koe te whakaae.
6. Te waiaro kia tino tika
I ētahi wā, he tino ma te hoa, ko tētahi he ngāwari ake te noho tahi. Me tae koe ki te ara waenga kia kore ai tetahi e māharahara.
Hei whakamutunga, ahakoa he patunga tapu pea ngā whanaungatanga tata, he mea nui kia whakaaroaro te tangata e patunga tapu ana ki te take e patunga tapu ana ia. Ki te mea hei āwhina i tō hoa, ka taea whakanui i te whakawhirinaki me te harikoa hoki i ngā taha e rua. Mēnā nā te mea e tumanako ana koe ki tētahi utu (ināianei, i te heke mai rānei), tērā pea ka ara ake he raruraru.
Tirohia hoki mēnā kei te patu whakahere koe i tētahi mea hei karo i te tautohetohe. Tērā pea ka riri koe, ka pōuri hoki i roto i a koe. Tirohia mēnā he wāhi kei reira hei whiriwhiri me te whakaae tahi. Ā, me tiaki e ia hoa āna ake hiahia me te whakarite i ngā mea e pai ana ki tētahi.
Ka taea e koe te aroha me te kore patunga tapu? Ae. Ki taku whakaaro ka taea e koe! Ka taea e koe te aroha me te ngākau pono, engari me rapu whakaaetanga mō tētahi take tautohe, kaua ki te patunga tapu.
8 Ngā Hipanga Hei Whakatau i te Take Kare ā-roto o tō Hoa Rangatira
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
