Me aha koe ina mohio koe he teka tō whanaungatanga

He nui te mahi e hiahiatia ana mō ngā whanaungatanga. He maha ngā hāora e noho tahi ana kōrua, ā, ka ako kōrua mō ngā āhuatanga iti o tō hoa, me te take kāore tō rāua matua kēkē i Nashville e mau ana i tētahi mea engari ko ngā kākahu mahi noa iho. Ka memeha haere taua mahi katoa ina mōhio koe he teka tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Tērā pea ka hinga tō ao e karapoti ana i a koe.

Ina ahu mai te teka i te whanaungatanga, ka rongo koe kua tinihangatia, kua tukinotia, me te mea kua tukinotia koe, ā, kua meinga kia iti iho tō whakaaro i te tangata. Tērā pea e kore e taea te whakaae noa ki te nui o te kore whakaute, ā, ko tāu noa iho he noho i roto i te rūma pōuri, me te whakaaro he aha i pā ai tēnei ki a koe. 

He māmā noa iho te kite i a koe anō kei roto i te pōrearea ina mōhio koe he teka noa iho tō whanaungatanga. Hei āwhina i a koe ki te tango i te taahiraa tuatahi ki te whakarērea i tēnei raruraru, me kōrero tāua mō ngā mea katoa me mahi e koe, me maumahara hoki.

Me pēhea te mōhio kei te ahu mai tō whanaungatanga i ngā kōrero teka

I mua i te whakautu i ngā pātai pēnei i te take e teka ai te tangata i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, me te whakaaro me aha koe ina mōhio koe he teka tō whanaungatanga, he mea nui kia tirohia... pehea kia mōhio ai mēnā kei te tinihanga tōu pūtake.

Ki te mea kei te ārahi tō hinengaro mataku ki te whakapono kei te mōrearea te hononga hauora tino pai kei a kōrua nā te mea kāore tō hoa i kōrero ki a koe mō te pai o rāua ki te puoro hip-hop, tera pea kei te tere rawa atu koe. Kia kore ai e puta he mea pēnei, he mea nui kia tirohia ngā tohu e whai ake nei e ahu mai ana i te teka tō kōrua hononga:

1. Ki te kore tō hoa e whakaute i a koe, he tohu tēnei kei te raru nui koe

E ai ki tāu i kite ai i te ara uaua, ehara i te aroha anake te mea e hiahiatia ana hei whakapakari i te whanaungatanga. te kore whakaute tetahi ki tetahi i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga ka pirau rawa, ā, ko te whakaatu noa i te kore whakaute he tohu noa kei tō hoa te āheinga ki te teka i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga.

Ki te kore tō hoa e whakaute i a koe, kāore rātou e aro nui ki te teka ki a koe. E kore rātou e pupuri i te whanaungatanga kia tapu pērā i a koe, ā, e kore hoki e aro nui ki te whara i ō kare ā-roto. 

2. He mea noa iho ki a rātou te teka i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga 

He pai ngā kōrero teka kore kino pērā i te kore e kōrero ki tō hoa kāore koe e pai ki tā rātou hinu kakara, inā koa i te tīmatanga o te whanaungatanga. Engari ki te kitea e koe tō hoa e teka ana mō ngā mea pēnei i te tangata e noho tahi ana rāua, te tangata e tuku karere ana rāua, me ētahi atu mea pērā, he take nui tēnei hei āwangawanga māu. 

He maha ngā wā, ko te mōhio tonu he teka tō kōrua whanaungatanga ka puta ina hurahia e koe te pono i muri i aua kōrero teka katoa i kōrerotia pea e tō hoa ki a koe. Nō reira, ki te kite kē koe i a ia e kōrero teka ana ki a koe, tera pea he tohu tēnei mō tētahi raruraru nui ake. 

Te pānui e pā ana: Me aha koe ina takoto te tangata i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga

3. Kua teka, kua huna rānei e rātou ngā kōrero mō ō rātou hītori 

Kāore koe e hiahia kia mōhio ki ngā mea katoa i mahia e tō hoa i mua i te tīmatanga o tētahi hononga ki a koe, engari ki te kōrero teka ia mō ngā kaupapa nui i puta, tera pea ka hē tō tirohanga ki a ia. 

Ae, tera pea ka whakama rātou mō tētahi mea, kāore rānei e pai ki te kōrero mōna, engari ki te mea he hononga wā roa, me mōhio koe ki ngā āhuatanga nunui katoa – te whakarere, te motuhanga o te taumau, te peinga i te whare wānanga, te whanaungatanga ki te hoa o mua o tāu hoa pai, me ērā atu mea anō hoki – i tupu i mua.

4. E teka ana rātou mō te moni, mō tō rātou oranga rānei 

He aha te take e teka ai te tangata i roto i ngā whanaungatanga? Tērā pea hei whakaatu i a rātou anō he nui atu i te ao, hei whakaatu rānei i a rātou anō he mea e hiahiatia ana i a rātou anō. Ahakoa te take, ki te kitea e koe kei te teka tō hoa mō tā rātou mahi, ā rātou tikanga whakapau moni, tētahi atu mea rānei e rite ana te hiranga, e kore rawa tō kōrua hononga e pono.

5. Kei te tinihangatia koe, kei te whakamahia rānei koe

Ki te mea ko te hiahia anake te pūtake o tō kōrua whanaungatanga, ā, e whakamahia ana kōrua mō te hiahia moepuku, mō te tūnga pāpori, mō te moni rānei, he tohu tēnā kei te ahu mai tō kōrua whanaungatanga i ngā kōrero teka. He mārama noa iho, engari he mea tika tonu kia kōrerohia: ki te kore tō hoa e whakaute i ngā kaupapa kua whakaaetia mō te marena kotahi, kāore kōrua i te tino pono.

6. Kāore anō koe kia whakamōhiotia ki ō rātou hoa, ki tō rātou whānau rānei 

Ki te mea kei te hunaia koe, tera pea kei te hunaia koe. I ētahi wā, tera pea kei te ngana noa te tangata kia tūpato i mua i te whakauru i tētahi hoa hou ki tōna whānau, engari ki te mea kua neke atu i te 6–10 marama te roa o tō kōrua noho tahi, ā, kāore anō kia tūtaki ki ōna hoa, ka hono tahi tō whanaungatanga me te teka.

Ko te mōhio he teka tō whanaungatanga, he tukanga āta haere pea tēnei hei hura i ngā mahi tinihanga, hei pā mai rānei ki a koe pērā i te horonga wai, i te tirotiro rānei i te pono. Heoi, i tētahi wā, i tētahi wā, ka kitea tonutia he ara hei tiaho te mea e mahia ana i te pōuri. Ina puta, tera pea ka mōhio koe kua uru koe ki tētahi te whanau paitini haere katoa.

"I teka ia ki ahau mō ngā mea katoa. Kāore ia i kōrero mai ki ahau mō āna marena o mua, ā, i kitea noa e au i te wā i tukuna ai ki a ia te mana tiaki i tētahi tamaiti mai i tana marena o mua. I te mutunga, ka kitea e au i teka ia mō te ira tangata o tana kaiawhina, te wahine i moe tahi rāua," te kōrero a Emma ki a mātou, e kōrero ana mō te pūtake o tana whanaungatanga i runga i te teka.

Ina pā mai tētahi mea ōrite ki a koe, ka pā mai te pouri nui. Hei āwhina i a koe kia ora ake, me titiro tātou ki ngā mea katoa me mahi e koe i muri i te mōhio he teka tō whanaungatanga.

Te pānui e pā ana: He aha ngā kōrero teka e tino whakaponohia ana e ngā wāhine mō ngā tāne?

Te mōhio he teka tō whanaungatanga: Ngā taahiraa e whai ake nei

Tērā pea kua kitea e koe kua tinihanga tō hoa i a koe mō te wā katoa o tō kōrua noho tahi. Kua kitea rānei e koe ehara rātou i te hunga e kīia ana e rātou, ā, kua teka rātou mō ngā āhuatanga katoa o tō rāua whakapapa.

Ahakoa te aha, ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakatau i te teka o tō whanaungatanga. Me titiro tātou me pēhea te tīmata i tō ara ki te whakaoranga: 

1. Tuhia koe ki te tuatahi

Ko te mea tuatahi, tīmata ki te mahi i ngā mea e pai ana mōu, ahakoa he āhua whaiaro. Ki te mea me tango e koe ētahi tāngata hei painga mōu Hauora hinengaro, waiho mārika. Kaua e noho motuhake, engari he mea whai hua te whai wā ki te whakaaroaro ki ngā mea katoa kua pa.

Me whakatau i ngā whakatau ā muri ake nei me te whakaaro ki ō hiahia, kaua ki te pānga ki ētahi atu e karapoti ana i a koe. Kaua e tukua kia noho noa iho ngā wawata, e kore tō hoa e whakarerekē i āna tikanga kia pai ai te whanaungatanga ki a koe. 

"I teka taku tāne ki ahau mō ngā tau. He maha āna hoa mahi i moe tahi ai, ā, i meinga tonutia ahau kia haurangi mō te whakaaro ki tēnā. I taku kitenga i tēnei, ka tapahia e au te hononga ki a rātou katoa, ka whakarerea tonutia ia, ā, ka whakatau kia kaua e whakapā atu anō ki a ia. E whā tau kua pahure, kāore anō kia harikoa ake ahau," te kōrero a Janet ki a mātou. 

Ae, kāore ngā whanaungatanga me ngā kōrero teka e wehe tetahi i tetahi, engari ki te mea kua tinihangatia koe, kua tae ki te wā me whakapau kaha koe ki te whakatutuki i a koe anō.

2. Tikina te nui o ngā mōhiohio e taea ana e koe

E mōhio ana tātou, tera pea tēnei e ahua koretake. Engari i te mōhio ki te āhua hurihuri o ō tātou hinengaro hihiko, kāore e miharo mēnā ka whakaaro koe, "Kāore ia i te kino rawa, e mōhio ana koe..." ahakoa kua tinihanga tēnei tangata i a koe.

Hei ārai i te whakaaro pōuri, kia nui ngā kōrero e pā ana ki te whānuitanga o te teka o te whanaungatanga. Nō reira, ka taea e koe te whakatau whai whakaaro mēnā me mutu rawa tō hononga, me arotake anō rānei. He kupu tohutohu: kua tinihangatia kētia koe i mua, kaua e hohoro te whakawhirinaki anō ki tēnei tangata. 

3. Whakatinanahia te kore-pā

Ki te kore e taea e koe te kite i a koe anō e muru ana i ngā teka o te whanaungatanga, ā, kua whakatau koe ki te neke atu, he mea nui rawa te tapahi i ngā hononga katoa ki tēnei tangata. Whāia te ture kore-pā Me ārai i tēnei tangata i ngā pāpāho pāpori katoa, me ārai hoki i tana nama waea, koinei anake te huarahi tūturu hei neke whakamua. 

"I whakaaro ahau kei te pai te haere o tō mātou oranga tāone iti, engari i te hurihanga o tana mahi 9-5 ki te 9-9, i mōhio ahau kei te hē tetahi mea. Kāore au i te mōhio, i teka taku tāne ki ahau mō ngā tau maha mō te wāhi e noho ana ia, ā, i te putanga mai o tana moepuku, ka whakatau ahau ki te wehe atu me te tapahi i tana hononga. He uaua ki te kore e whakapā atu ki a ia, he maha ngā wā i hē ai ahau, engari i te mutunga ka tapahia rawatia e au tana hononga. Ko te tinihanga o taua rahi ehara i te mea e taea e au te muru," te kōrero a Martha ki a mātou. 

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4. Rapua he awhina ngaio 

Engari ko te noho pōuri ki a koe anō, me te kī pēnei, "I teka ia ki ahau mō ngā mea katoa, kāore e taea e au te whakawhirinaki ki tētahi atu anō", ngana ki te rapu āwhina hei āwhina i a koe kia neke whakamua. I ētahi wā, ahakoa ngā tau e ngana ana, ka taea e tātou te hinga i a tātou e ngana ana ki te neke whakamua i te mamae me te mamae i pā mai ki a tātou. 

Nō reira, mā te rapu āwhina i tētahi tohunga hauora hinengaro whai raihana ka nui ake ngā hua mōu. Ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakahoki mai i tō whakapono ki a koe anō, ā, ka whakaatu hoki i te ara hei whakaara anō i a koe. Mena koinei te āwhina e rapuhia ana e koe, ko Bonobology's he rōpū kaiwhakaora hinengaro mātau ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau i te teka o tō whanaungatanga. 

Mā te mōhio he teka tō whanaungatanga, ka whakakorikori pea i tō whakapono ki a koe anō, ā, ka waiho koe ki te whara hinengaro mō te wā roa. Ko te tumanako, mā te āwhina o ngā mahi kua whakarārangihia e mātou i tēnei rā, ka pai ake tō whakaaro ki te aromatawai i te kaha o tō whanaungatanga, me te aha hoki mēnā he teka te pūtake. Kia maumahara, ko te mea pai rawa atu anake te mea e tika ana māu. Kaua e whakaae ki te aroha e pai ana ki a koe. whakaaro tika koe. 

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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