Kua rongo tātou katoa i roto i te kōti ture, kāore koe e hara i te mea kua whakamātauria tō hara. He rite tonu te ture mō te katoa, ahakoa te ira tangata. Engari ko te mea tino kino, ka taea hoki e ngā tāne te pāngia e te tutu ā-whare me te tukino, ā, i roto i ēnei take, he uaua te whiwhi tika i roto i ngā kōti ture me te hapori.
Kāore mātou e rongo ana i te nui ake o ngā kōrero mō te tūkino ā-whare ki ngā tāne nā te mea e kiia ana he tohu ngoikore. Engari ko te mea pono, ka taea e ngā tāne te noho hei pāngia e te tūkino ā-whare, ā, he maha atu ngā wā ka pāngia rātou e taua tūkino i tā tātou e hiahia ana ki te whakapono.
Te Tūkino ā-Whare ki ngā Tāne: Ngā Mea Katoa e Hiahia Ana Koe kia Mōhio
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Ko te tūkino ā-whare, e ai ki te whakamāramatanga, ko te tikanga o te mahi tūkino a tētahi mema o te whare, arā, te mahi tūkino tinana, hinengaro, ā-ira rānei ki tētahi atu. Engari i te nuinga o te wā, ina kōrero tetahi mō te tūkino ā-whare, te tukino rānei, kāore te iwi e whakaaro ko ngā tāne he patunga. E whakaarohia ana ko rātou tonu ngā kaiwhakatupu.
E ai ki te pūrongo a te National Coalition Against Domestic Violence , tata ki te 835,000 ngā tāne e tukinotia ana e te hoa piri i ia tau. Hei tāpiri, kotahi i roto i te tokowhā ngā tāne e kī ana kua pāngia rātou e tētahi momo tūkino tinana e te hoa aroha i tētahi wā o ō rātou oranga. Ā, kotahi i roto i te tokowhitu ngā tāne e kī ana kua pāngia rātou e te tūkino tinana kino.
Ahakoa e whakaatuhia ana i roto i ngā niupepa ngā pane kōrero mō ngā wāhine me te tūkino ā-whare e mahia ana ki a rātou, ko te mea kāore tātou e mōhio me pēhea te pānga o te tūkino me te tukino ā-whare ki ngā tāne.
Ngā raruraru ki te pūrongo i te tutu ā-whare a ngā tāne
Kāore mātou e kōrero mōna nā te mea kāore mātou i te mōhio. Kāore mātou e kōrero mōna nā te mea kāore mātou e mōhio ki ngā tohu o te whakatoi. Kāore i te tino pūrongohia te tutu ā-whare ki ngā tāne . Ko ngā wāhine i te Hononga o Amerika e 7 ki te 14 ngā wā ka nui ake te tūponotanga ki te pūrongo i te tutu ā-whare i ngā tāne.
Ko tētahi o ngā tino take ko te āhua tawhito o te ahurea o Amerika e kī ana ko te mana o ngā tāne ki te kaha me te toa i runga i ngā wāhine. Ehara i te mea he hē tēnei momo whakaaro, engari ko tēnei momo whakaaro tonu te mea e ārai ana i ngā tāne ki te ripoata i aua hara. He uaua ake mā ngā tāne te whakatenatena i ngā mana ture mō tēnei momo hara nā te mea he nui ake te ōwehenga o ngā tāne he painga tinana o te kaha ki te whakataurite ki ngā wāhine.
Ko te mea nui, ahakoa he hunga kaitohutohu e mahi ana i te ao, i te pō ki te aro atu ki ngā take whakatoi me te tukino a ngā wāhine, he iti noa iho ngā rauemi e wātea ana ki ngā tāne i pāngia e te tutu ā-whare. He mea nui kia mōhio tātou i te tīmatanga kāore e taea te mahi hara i runga i te ira tangata, ā, ka taea e ngā wāhine te mahi hara me te rite tonu ki te kino o ngā tāne.
Ngā tohu o te tukino
Kia mārama ake ai tātou ki ngā āhuatanga rerekē o te tukino ā-whare ki ngā tāne, me mārama tuatahi tātou ki ō rātou tohu. Me titiro tātou ki ngā tohu o te tukino ā-whare a ngā tāne.
- Te tukino ā-waha: Te whakamahi i ngā kupu whakatoi, te reo kino me te 'karanga ingoa'.
- Te whakawehi me te whakatūkino: Te whakawehi ki te whakaatu i ngā mōhiohio whaiaro, whaiaro rānei ki ētahi atu, ki te marea rānei
- Te whanonga paitini: Te whakaatu i te mana pupuri, te hae rānei
- Te tango mana whakahaere: Te whakahaere i ana pūtea, te whakapau rānei i ana moni
- Te tukino tinana: Te papaki, te pana, tetahi momo whiu, whakaeke rānei
- Te whakaheke hara: Te whakawehi ki te whara i a rātou anō, i ētahi atu rānei, hei huarahi ki te 'whiu' i a ia
Ahakoa te āhua nei kāore ētahi o ēnei mahi i te rite ki te tukino i te tirohanga tuatahi, he maha ngā wā ka kitea koinei ngā tīmatanga o te tutu ā-whare ki ngā tāne. Ko ngā āhuatanga tūturu, ngā āhuatanga whakaaro noa rānei o te kore whakapono he pūtake noa iho o te tutu. He mea nui anō hoki te waipiro me te tarukino i roto i ngā take o te tukino ā-whare ki ngā tāne.
Ngā pānga o te tutu ā-whare ki ngā tāne
I te nuinga o te wā, ka pāngia hoki ngā tāne e ngā pānga rite tonu ki ngā wāhine e pāngia ana e te tukino ā-whare. Ko te tutu ā-whare, te tukino rānei, he tino take mō te whakamahi kino i ngā matū i roto i ngā tāne. He maha ngā tāne kua huri hei tangata inu waipiro, hei tangata whakamahi tarukino rānei hei ārai i te ahotea o taua tukino. Ehara i te mea koinā anake, engari me te tukino, ka puta mai te mamae o te noho hei pāngia e te tutu ā-whare.
I te mea e kitea whānuitia ana te kaha o ngā tāne, he maha ngā whakama e pā ana ki te whakapuaki i ō rātou whakaaro mō te tukino ā-whare a ngā tāne. Ka taea e te tukino roa te arahi ki te pouri haumanu , te manukanuka pāpori me te kore e pai ki te piripono ki tētahi mō te wā roa, ā, he maha ngā wā ka puta te mokemoke.
Te Tūkino ā-Whare Tāne i roto i te Marenatanga
Me tīmata tātou ki te marena. Ko ngā momo tukino katoa, ā-tinana, ā-hinengaro, ā-waha rānei e te hoa piripono ka kiia ko te 'Tukino i te Hoa Piripono'. Tata ki te 1 i roto i te 3 ngā tāne kua pāngia e te tukino ā-ira tangata, te tukino tinana me/te whaiwhai rānei e te hoa piripono i roto i ō rātou oranga.
He mea noa ake te whakatoi a ngā wāhine i ngā tāne i tā tātou e whakaaro nei. Engari kua taunga kē te nuinga o ngā tāne ki tēnei mahi, ā, kāore rātou e mōhio kei te tūkinotia rātou, pērā i ngā wāhine o ngā whenua whakapono, matatika. He rārangi arowhai tēnei o ētahi tohu o te tukino i roto i te marena. Mena kei te tupu tēnei, kua pāngia koe e te tutu ā-whare.
1. Te whakaiti i a koe i mua i ō whanaunga/hoa
Ki te mea he tikanga tō wahine ki te patu tonu i tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō me tō whakapehapeha i mua i ō whanaunga me ō hoa, he tukino tēnei. "Āe, kāore he painga mōna." "Kei te kī tonu ahau ki a ia kāore e taea e koe te whakatutuki i tetahi mea pai i te ao." "Kāore tana utu e ranea hei kawe mai i te kai tika ki runga i te tēpu." – Koinei ētahi o ngā kīanga ka whakamahia pea e tō wahine tukino i a koe e whakaahua ana i a koe.
Ki te mea he tūponotanga tēnei, he mea noa iho – ka hē tātou katoa. Engari ki te mea he auau tonu tēnei, he tutu tēnei. Kia maumahara, kāore e hiahiatia kia tūkinotia ngā tutu katoa.
2. Te tukino i ngā mema o tō whānau i ngā wā katoa, inā koa ko tō whaea
Ki te mea he maha tonu ngā wā ka tukino tō wahine i tō whaea, me te mōhio hoki ka mamae koe i te mamae, he tutu ia. Kāore te tukino e uru ki te whakahē i tētahi. Engari ki te karanga ingoa kino. Ki te mutu te kōrero mō te whānau, mō tō whaea rānei me te kōrero kino a tō wahine mō tō pāpā, mō tō whaea rānei, he tohu anō tēnei mō te tukino kino.
3. Te patu i a koe
I roto i te āhua tinana, he kaha ake te nuinga o ngā tāne i ngā wāhine. Engari, ehara te patu i tētahi i te mea he kaha, he kaha rānei, engari he nui te kino e pā ana ki te tinana me te hinengaro o te tangata. Koinei te wāhi e puta ai te kaha nanakia.
Ka papaki, ka kuru, ka patu rānei tō wahine i a koe ina riri ia? Ki te tohua e koe tēnei tohu, he tukino kino tēnei. He tutu ā-whare kino tēnei ki ngā tāne, ā, me mārama koe ki tēnei.
4. Te kore e tohatoha i tāu mahi
Titiro whakamuri mō tētahi wā poto. Kei te tukua e tō wahine te kawenga katoa ki a koe me te kī he mahi tāne tēnei? Kei te whakakahore ia ki te mahi i ētahi mea, ā, kei te whakaae rānei ki te tuku i aua mea nā te mea e whakaaro ana ia he mahi tēnei mā te tāne? Engari, ko taua wahine anō kei te akiaki i a koe kia tohatoha i ana mahi nā te mea me "tohatoha te kawenga" e ia tāne? Mena he pono te kōrero i runga ake nei, he whanaungatanga kore taurite tēnei, ā, kei te pāngia koe e te tutu ā-whare, engari ehara i te mea ā-tinana.
5. Te hamama me te karanga
Hei whakamutunga, me kōrero tātou mō te hamama me te karanga, e kiia ana ko te mahi kino. He tangata whakamā koe? He tangata kāore e taea te hamama me te karanga ina riri koe? Ka ngaro ō kupu, ka ngaro rānei ō whakaaro ina riri nui koe, ina tautohetohe werawera rānei? Ka mataku koe ina hamama mai tetahi ki a koe me te reo nui, teitei?
Kātahi ka kōrero atu ahau ki a koe, nā te mea kāore koe i te tino pai ki a koe anō i te aroaro o te tukino ā-waha. Mēnā e mōhio ana tō hoa ki tēnei, engari e hamama tonu ana, e hamama ana ki a koe, me mārama koe he tukino ā-whare tēnei ki ngā tāne. Mēnā he hamama tonu, he hamama tonu te wahine ki te tāne kāore e kaha ki te tiaki i a ia anō, he tukino kino rawa atu. He tukino ā-hinengaro tēnei.
Me aha koe mēnā he pāngia koe e te tūkino ā-whare ki ngā tāne
Me rite tonu te whakahaere i te tukino ā-whare ki ngā tāne ki tētahi atu hara. Me rapu āwhina ture me te tohutohu ngā tāne. Engari ko te mea nui, kaua rātou e manukanuka ki te whakama o te hapori, engari me kōrero mō ō rātou mamae. Ko te kōrero ki tētahi e mōhio ana koe, ki tētahi hoa tata, ki tētahi whanaunga rānei, koinei pea te taahiraa tuatahi ki te tiki tohutohu whanaungatanga me te whakatau i te mea kotahi. Engari ki te kore koe e pai ki te mahi pera, ka taea e koe te tirotiro i ngā rōpū kore-moni, ngā rōpū tautoko rānei i tō rohe.
Mena kāore e whai hua te aro atu ki te raruraru o te tangata e pāngia ana e te tukino, me whakaaro koe ki te tiki i tētahi whakahau aukati, i tētahi whakahau tiaki rānei mai i te kooti ā-rohe. He pai ake te kōrero ki tētahi rōia whanaungatanga ā-whare mēnā he roa te wā e pāngia ana e te tutu ā-whare a ngā tāne.
He maha ngā tohu, ā, he nui ake anō hoki te maha o ngā tāne e mamae puku ana i roto i tēnei āhuatanga. He tokomaha o rātou kāore e mōhio kei te mamae rātou. Kāore koutou e tika kia mamae pēnei. Ko te taahiraa tuatahi ki te whakaoti rapanga ko te whakaae kei te puta he raruraru i te tuatahi. E ngā tāne, kia ata tirohia ā tātou marena, kia mārama ai mēnā kei te tukinotia tātou. Kātahi ka taea e tātou te mahi ki te rapu i tētahi otinga.
FAQ's:
Mena he kino te āhuatanga, ā, he mōrearea tinana kei roto i a koe, waea atu ki te 911 tonu mō te āwhina a ngā pirihimana.
Ka taea e koe te whakapā atu ki te National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) i te 1800-799-7233. Ka kitea e koe he maha ngā whakahaere kore-moni e mahi pukumahi ana mō ngā tāngata i pāngia e te tutu ā-whare. Ka taea e koe te rapu i ngā whakahaere rite e mahi ana i tō rohe.
He ture ā-ture kei ngā kawanatanga katoa o te US me te Takiwā o Columbia mō tētahi ota tiaki. Mena he tūkino tinana te āhua, ko te mahi tuatahi ko te whakamōhio atu ki ngā mana pirihimana o te rohe. Kātahi ka taea e koe te tango i tētahi ota aukati hei pupuri i te tangata kia matara atu i a koe mō tō haumaru. Hei tāpiri, ka taea e koe te kōrero ki tētahi rōia whanaungatanga ā-whare i tō rohe, māna koe e āwhina ki ngā kōwhiringa ture me ōna pānga.
Āe. Ehara i te mea ko te tukino ā-whare he mahi tinana anake. Ka taea te tukino ā-hinengaro, pērā i te whakaiti tonu i a koe mō ō ngoikoretanga. Ka taea rānei te kōrero ā-waha, pērā i te karanga ingoa, te hamama me te kanga i a koe mō tētahi take, mō tētahi take rānei. I raro i ēnei āhuatanga, me kōrero koe ki tētahi e whakawhirinaki ana koe, me rapu āwhina rānei i ngā rōpū tautoko, i ngā kaitohutohu rānei. Mā rātou e tātari tō āhuatanga, e whakaako hoki i a koe mēnā kei te pāngia koe e te tukino ā-whare, kāore rānei.
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
He tūāpapa, he wānanga rānei e whakarato ana i te tohutohu mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i tukinotia?
Āe. Ka mahia e mātou. Tēnā tuhituhi mai ki a mātou i [email tiakina]. https://www.bonobology.com/im-abused-wife-daughters-nowhere-else-go/