He panga uaua te hinengaro o te kaitūkino. Ka mahi 24/7, ka whakamahere kino i ngā mea, ā, ka waihanga i tētahi āhuatanga kino mō tana patunga. Mā te maha o ngā kēmu hinengaro, te whakahaere me te raweke hinengaro, ka taea e te kaitūkino te hanga i ngā āhuatanga hei painga mōna. Engari kua whakaarohia e koe he aha ngā āhuatanga e akiaki ana i te kaitūkino ki roto i tētahi whanaungatanga kino? He aha āna hihiri huna? Me pēhea te whakahaere a ngā kaitūkino i ā rātou patunga me te raweke i a rātou kia ngohengohe?
He aha te momo makona ka kawea mai e tēnei huringa kino ki te kaitūkino? I mua i te haere tonu ki te tūhura i ēnei āhuatanga, me mārama tātou he aha te take e tīmata ai te kaitūkino i te tukino.
He aha te take e tukino ai te tangata i roto i ngā whanaungatanga piripono?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
He māmā noa iho, e hiahia ana rātou kia toa i te kēmu mana ki runga i tā rātou hoa rangatira. He pānga roa te tukino a ngā mātua i ngā tamariki, ā, he maha ngā wā ka arahi atu rātou ki te mahi tukino i a rātou anō e pakeke haere ana.
Ka tangohia e te kaitukino te kupu 'tāne o te whare' i roto i te tikanga tūturu, ā, e hiahia ana kia haere ngā mea o te whare i runga i tana ake hiahia. E whakaaro ana ia ki tana wahine he taonga, he mea hanga rānei, ā, e hiahia ana ki te katoa o ngā mea. te mana whakahaere i a ia.
Ahakoa tāna e kai ana, e inu ana rānei, ahakoa ko wai ia, ko ngā hoa mahi e mahi tahi ana rāua, ka tirotirohia tōna āhua whānui e ia. Tērā pea ka whakamahia e ia ngā momo tukino rerekē hei whakamana i tōna mana whakahaere i a ia.
Ka taea hoki e ngā mamae o mua, ngā take riri rānei kāore anō kia whakatauhia, te whakaoho i te tauira tukino. Nā tōna korenga e aroha ki te tangata i pāngia, ka taea hoki e ia te whakaoho i tētahi tauira tukino i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga.
I mua i whakaponohia ko te tāne anake te kaitukino i roto i te whanaungatanga, ko te wahine te patunga. Engari ki te titiro tātou ki te ngā tatauranga tukino i te US ka kite tātou ka taea hoki e ngā wāhine te tukino i roto i ngā whanaungatanga piripono.
Hei tauira, 1 i roto i te 4 ngā wāhine me te 1 i roto i te 9 ngā tāne e pāngia ana e te tutu ā-tinana kino mai i te hoa piripono, te tutu ā-ira tangata mai i te whakapā atu ki te hoa piripono, me/te whaiwhai rānei i te hoa piripono me ngā pānga pēnei i te whara, te mataku, te mate ahotea muri i te whara, te whakamahi i ngā ratonga a ngā tāngata i pāngia, me ērā atu mea.
E whakaatu ana te Rangahau ā-Motu mō te Hoa Whaiaro me te Tūkino Ira Tangata, 1 i roto i te 3 ngā wāhine me te 1 i roto i te 4 ngā tāne kua pāngia e tētahi momo tūkino tinana e te hoa whaiaro. Kei roto i tēnei ko te whānuitanga o ngā whanonga (hei tauira, te papaki, te pana, te pana) ā, i ētahi wā, kāore pea e kiia he "tūkino ā-whare" engari he pānga hinengaro mō te wā roa.
E whakaatu ana anō taua rangahau i roto i te tau neke atu i te 10 miriona tāngata, arā, 20 tāngata ia meneti, e tukinotia ana e te hoa piripono i te US.
Ngā Āhuatanga o te Tangata Whakatoi
He tino ōrite ngā āhuatanga o te kaitukino – ahakoa tāne, wahine rānei. Ko te hunga kaitukino he hunga tino whakahaere, he hunga tinihanga, ā, ka pāngia rātou e ngā wā pai me ngā wā kino.
He rite tonu ngā āhuatanga o ia tangata tukino, o ia tangata, i a ia e tukino ana, e whara ana rānei i tōna hoa. Mā te mōhio tika ki ēnei āhuatanga ka āwhina i te tini o te tangata ki te mārama mēnā he āhua tukino tōna hoa.
I mea a William Sheer, he kaiheke ngaru ngaio, mō tētahi hoa me tana hoa wahine, "Kāore au i mōhio ka taea e ngā wāhine te tukino tae noa ki taku kitenga i te hoa wahine o taku hoa e papaki ana, e whana ana i a ia i te riri nui. I whakamataku ia i a ia i tētahi rā ki te maripi kīhini, ā, koira te wā i whakarērea ai e ia te whanaungatanga ka neke ki te tāone."
Anei ētahi āhuatanga o te kaitūkino e whai ana i te tauira ōrite tonu.
- He tino pai te āhua mō te ahua 'tino pai': I te nuinga o te wā, he tino atawhai ngā kaitūkino ki te ao i waho o ngā pakitara e whā o te whare. Ka menemene kanapa rātou, ka manaaki i ngā manuhiri pērā i tō rātou whānau, ā, ka āwhina i ngā hungawai i ngā wā e hiahiatia ana. Ka rite rātou ki te āhua o te tāne, te wahine rānei tino pai i roto i ngā kanohi o te hapori.
- Whakaatuhia ngā rerekētanga o te whanonga: Ka whakaata te kaitukino i ngā whanonga e tino nui rawa ana, he mea rerekē tēnei i tētahi āhua. Tērā pea ka arohaina rātou i tētahi meneti, ā, i tētahi meneti ka riri ki tā rātou hoa rangatira. Nō reira, ki te huri te wairua o te kaitukino, ka riri, ka whakaatu rānei i tētahi āhua marino hei whakapoauau i te hoa rangatira, he tohu whero tēnei hei tūpato.
- Kāore he kawenga mō ā rātou hapa: Ki tā rātou titiro, ko ngā kaitūkino te tauira o ngā hoa tino pai. Nō reira, ki tā rātou titiro, kāore e taea e rātou te whara i tā rātou hoa i tetahi ara.
- Kāore e whakaatu i ngā kare ā-roto pono: He tohunga huna te tangata tukino. I roto i tētahi āhuatanga kare ā-roto, ka noho puku rātou, ka tuku i te patunga kia whakakitea ōna ngoikoretanga. Ā muri ake nei, ka whakamahia pea e rātou te pahūtanga o te kare ā-roto ki tō rātou hoa.
- Whakawhāitihia te 'kōrero', ahakoa ki te hoa rangatira: Ahakoa te kōrero mō te oranga o ia rā, me karo i ngā kōrero pono ki te hoa rangatira. Pēnei, ka tiakina ō rātou tuakiri, ā, ka maimoatanga puku he patu e whakamahia ana e rātou hei whakahaere
- Ki tōna whakaaro he hoa rangatira anake mā rātou: E tino mārama ana rātou ki te mana o te hoa rangatira, ā, e whakaaro ana rātou ko rātou anake te ao o te hoa rangatira e tika ana kia huri.
- Kati te kōrero mō ngā mea o mua: Ina ngana tā rātou wahine ki te pātai ki a rātou mō ngā āhuatanga o mua, ka karohia e ngā kaitukino aua kōrero. Ka puta tēnei i roto i te take o ngā kaitukino he raruraru ō rātou āhuatanga o mua.
Kia kotahi te nga tohu o te tukino Ki te tīmata te noho rangatira i roto i te marena, me whakaae te hoa rangatira ki te meka, me whakamahere hoki me pēhea te whakatau i taua mea. Kaua ngā wāhine e noho tonu i roto i ngā whanaungatanga tukino mō te hapori, te whānau, te mana pāpori, ngā tamariki rānei anake.
E mōhio ana ngā kaipahua i te wā e tukino ana rātou?
I ētahi wā, kāore te tāne tukino e mōhio he aha ia e whakaatu ana i ēnei momo tukino. Tērā pea kua kite ia i tētahi momo tukino pēnei. te whanaungatanga kino i waenganui i ōna mātuaKei te whakaaro pea ia koinei te āhua o te 'marena' noa.
Ki te whakaaro koe he rerekē ngā whakaaro o tō tāne i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, engari e whakapono ana koe ki tōna aroha, koinei te wā tika ki te kōrero ki a ia, kaua e mamae i te tukino. Kōrerotia ki a ia te kino o tana wairua whakapehapeha ki tō kōrua whanaungatanga.
Kaua e wehi ki te whakatuwhera i te kēne noke. Mā tēnei 'kōrero tuwhera' ka ea ō raruraru, ki te mea e aroha ana ia ki a koe, e aroha ana hoki ki ō tirohanga.
I te tahi taime ngā hoa wahine paitini ka taea e rātou te huri hei tangata tukino mēnā e whakaaro ana rātou kāore e taea e rātou te whakahaere, te whakahaere rānei i a koe. Ka taea e ngā wāhine te whara tinana i ō rātou hoa pērā i ngā tāne.
I roto i tana pukapuka, nā Meena Kadasamy, Ina pā atu ahau ki a koe, kua whakaatu i tētahi whakaaturanga kanapa o tētahi kaitukino e whakaatu ana i tana huringa katoa hei taniwha i muri i te marena, e whakangaro haere ana i te whakaaro nui o tana wahine ki a ia anō, e whakahaere ana i ia meneti o tōna oranga, e whiu ana hoki i a ia mō ngā mea katoa e mahia ana e ia e whakapataritari ana i a ia.
Mō tēnei tangata, ka tuhituhi te toa matua, "Ko ia te momo tāne manukanuka e tū ana i waho o te tatau o te wharepaku i roto i te tereina me te mataku kei hopukia e au taua whai wāhi ki te tuku i a ia kia mawhiti, ka ngaro atu ki tētahi atu wāhanga tawhiti, ka heke iho ki tētahi teihana matapōkere, ka ngaro atu, kāore he tohu."
He maha ngā wā, ka whakamahia e ngā kaitukino te tukino me te mōhio katoa hei 'whiringa' pai. Ka taea e tēnei momo tukino te whakararu i ō rātou hoa me te whanaungatanga. Hei whakamana i te mana whakahaere o te hoa rangatira, tera pea ka whakaatu rātou i te aroha i waho, engari i roto, e hiahia ana ki te whakahaere i a koe i te wā e whai ake nei, me te mea kia kanikani koe ki ā rātou waiata.
Te pānui e pā ana: He kōrero mō taku oma atu i taku tāne tukino, me taku hanga anō i tōku ao
Ahakoa tōna āhua reka rawa, i roto i tōna kākahu, tera pea ka tīmata ia ngā tauira pēnei i te rama hau hei whakararu i tō whakapono ki a koe anō. Tērā pea ka meinga koe e ia kia whakaaro he poto ō whakatutukitanga ngaio, ā, ka tawai pea ia ki aua whakatutukitanga.
Ki te kore, ka kitea e ia ētahi take hei whakahē i a koe mā te waihanga i ngā raruraru me ngā take kāore e hiahiatia i roto i te whanaungatanga.
Ahakoa te āhua o te hinengaro, ahakoa te ahua uaua o te tukino, engari ko te mea pono, he tauira uaua tonu tā ngā kai tukino katoa, engari he tauira kotahi tonu. Hei āwhina i ēnei tāngata i pāngia e te tukino i roto i te whare, ko tā mātou Bonobology kua tuhia e ngā kaitohutohu he tauira i te ahua o te huringa o te tukino.
He aha te 'Huringa o te Tūkino'?
Me pēhea te whakahaere a ngā kaitukino i ā rātou patunga? Mā tēnei huringa o te tukino. He rerekē ia whanaungatanga tukino, ā, he āhuatanga motuhake. Heoi anō, he tauira kei raro i ia take. I ngā tau 1970, i whakawhanakehia e Lenore Walker te huringa o te tukino, kia pai ake ai te mārama ki ngā tauira whanonga i roto i te hononga kino.
He tohunga hinengaro Amerikana a Lenore Walker, nāna i whakatū te Domestic Violence Institute, i tuhi i te huringa o te tukino, ā, i tuhi hoki Te Wahine i Pakaruhia, ā, i toa ai ia i te Tohu Pāpāho Tohu i te tau 1979.
Mā roto i tana ariā o te Huringa o te Tūkino, kua whakaaturia e ia he tauira kei roto i ia whanaungatanga tūkino. E toru, e whā rānei ngā wāhanga o te huringa o te tūkino.
1. Ngā Taumahatanga Te hanga i te wāhanga tukino
I tēnei wāhanga, ka kitea te tangata tukino e tango ana i te aroha, ā, ka tīmata ki te whakahē i ngā take iti. He pōuri hoki ia, ka meinga ngā kōrero mamae ka whakawehi rānei ki te tutu. Ka tohuhia e te whanonga pukuriri-whakaeke mai i te kaitukino.
Ka tīmata te heke o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, ā, ka tino kitea te piki haere o te taumahatanga i waenganui i ngā hoa. Ka ngana te patunga ki te whakamarie i te kaitukino, i te wehi kei puta te riri.
I tēnei wāhanga, ka ngana te tangata i pāngia ki te karo i ngā mea e whakapono ana ia ka whakaoho i te tutu, i te tukino rānei a tōna hoa.
2. Wāhanga Pahūtanga/Aituā Tūkino
Ahakoa ngā mahi tino pai a te patunga, i tēnei wāhanga o te huringa o te tukino, ka tukuna e te kaitukino te tukino tinana, te tukino kare ā-roto rānei ki te patunga.
Tērā pea ka pā te whiu, te whakamomori, me te whakangaromanga o ngā taonga. Tērā anō hoki te tukino nui i ngā kare ā-roto, te tukino ā-ira tangata, te mana whakahaere pūtea, me ētahi atu momo mahi kino. whakahaere whanonga.
Ka pōuri te tangata i tēnei wā, ka ngoikore, ka korekore hoki. Ka mahue ia i te taha tinana, i te taha hinengaro rānei, ā, ka ngana ia ki te whakamarie i tōna hoa, ki te kore e aro ki te pahūtanga, ki te waea atu rānei ki ngā mana whakahaere i ngā wā tino kino.
Ka ngana anō hoki rātou ki te tiaki i ā rātou tamariki i te kino, ā, ka ngana anō hoki ki te whawhai mēnā ka nui rawa te akiaki.
3. Te Wāhanga Whakahounga/Hākaritanga
Koinei te wāhanga e whakapono ai te tini o ngā tāngata i pāngia kua motu te huringa o te tukino. E ai ki te ingoa, i tēnei wāhanga, ka whakapāha te kaitukino mō te pakū o te riri.
Tērā pea ka nui rawa tōna aroha ki te tangata i pāngia, me ā rāua tamariki. E whakapono ana rātou kua mutu, kātahi ka mōhio he huringa mutunga kore o whakapāha, ā, muri iho ka tukino.
I ētahi atu wā, ka wareware noa te kaitukino i te kaupapa. Tērā pea ka whakapaetia e rātou te patunga, ka whakapono ia nā te patunga te pakū o te riri.
I tēnei wāhanga, ka meinga e te kaitukino te patunga kia whakapono e kore te tutu e puta anō, ā, ka whakaatu hoki e tino pouri ana ia mō ā rāua whanonga.
Tērā pea ka tino pouri te kaitukino, ka whakawehi rānei ki te whakamomori kia kore ai te patunga e puta i te whanaungatanga. I te nuinga o te wā, ko tēnei wāhanga o te huringa o te tukino he nui te aroha e whakaatuhia ana e te kaitukino ki ngā patunga.
Ka hokona pea e rātou he koha utu nui mā rātou, ka haria rānei rātou ki ngā wharekai pai hei ngana ki te whakahoki mai i a rātou.
4. Te whakahou i te huringa
Ka memeha haere te wā marino o te houhanga rongo, ā, ka huri hei pakanga. Ka puta anō he āhuarangi o te taupatupatu. Ka tīmata anō te huringa o te tukino. Ka tukuna anō te patunga ki te maimoatanga kotahi, kia whakatau rā anō rātou ki te wawahi i te huringa o te tukino.
Ki te mea kei te ngana tātou ki te mārama ki ngā āhuatanga o te tukino i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, me mōhio tātou ko te whāinga matua a te kaitukino he whakatō i te wehi ki roto i te hinengaro o te patunga. Ka mahia tēnei mā te whara tinana me te te tukino i ngā kare ā-roto.
Ahakoa he aha te mahi a te patunga, he mea noa iho pea pērā i te haere ki te toa hoko kai, tera pea e mataku ana rātou kei pā kino ki te kaitukino.
E whakaaro ana rānei ia kei te takaro ahau ki te kaiutuutu? E whakaaro ana rānei ia i whakakeke ahau ki a ia mā te haere ki te toa hoko kai? E riri rānei ia i taku haerenga atu me te kore whakaaetanga āna?
He pātai noa ēnei e whakapōuri ana i te hinengaro o te tangata i tukinotia e te mahi tukino.
Te pānui e pā ana: He tangata whakamahi moepuku taku tāne, ā, i puritia ahau e ia i roto i te rūma moe
Ka taea e ngā kaitukino te huri?
I roto i te mate urutā tata nei, kua piki haere te maha o ngā mate puta noa i te ao te tukino i te kāinga i te wā o ngā rāhui. Ko te take nui o tēnei ko te noho puku o te tangata ki te kāinga e pāngia ana e te manukanuka me te wehi, ā, kāore he putanga kē atu. Nō reira, ka piki ake, ka heke iho rānei te tukino i runga anō i ngā āhuatanga pāpori me te taiao.
Engari kei te nui o te tukino a te kaitukino ki tō whanaungatanga. Mena kei te whakaatu te kaitukino i ngā taumata tuatahi o te tukino, i ngā tikanga kare ā-roto ngawari rānei, mā te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero 'tuwhera' ka taea e rātou te whakauru i tēnei hapa o te tuakiri me te whakatuwhera i ō rātou kanohi ki te te mahi kino e mahia ana e rātou.
Ki te titiro rātou ki te raruraru me te tirohanga whāinga me te aroha, ā, e ripeneta ana mō ā rātou mahi tukino ngawari, ko te tohutohu tika mō te marena he taahiraa tika pea ki tēnei huarahi.
Engari ki te kino haere te kaha o te tukino, ā, ka hua ake he whakaekenga whakamate o te tutu kare ā-roto, te tutu pūtea, te tutu hinengaro me te tutu tinana, kāti kāore he tumanako mō te huringa.
Ko te hunga tukino, me te mōhio katoa, kei te whakararuraru kino i a koe, ā, kāore he mea e taea te whakarerekē i ō rātou āhua paitini. Ka whakamahia e rātou ngā mahi katoa kia pai ai te haere o ngā mea i runga i tā rātou ake huarahi.
Nō reira, i roto i ēnei āhuatanga, he pai ke te wehe atu i tētahi whanaungatanga, i tētahi marena rānei pērā i te mamae puku mō ngā tau maha, me te whakaiti i te kounga o tō oranga.
Ka taea e koe te whakamahi i te rōpū tohunga ipurangi a Bonobology hei āwhina i a koe ki te whawhai ki te tukino i ngā whanaungatanga. Kia maumahara, ehara i te mea ko koe anake i tēnei pakanga. Kei konei mātou hei hoa mōu ki te tautuhi, ki te whakatau me te wikitoria i ngā whanaungatanga kino mō tētahi heke mai pai ake.
Te tukino kare ā-roto - 9 ngā tohu me 5 ngā tohutohu mō te whakatau i te raruraru
He hoa pai rawa ia i whakaritea tae noa ki taku ngana ki te kihi i a ia…
12 Ngā Tohu Whakatūpato o te Gaslighting me ngā Huarahi e 5 hei Whakatau i tēnei
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
Ikvienam, kam ir laulības problēmas, šķiršanās jautājumi, zaudēts mīļākais vai jebkādas ar attiecībām saistītas problēmas, nekavējoties jāsazinās ar PRIEST ADU, Atkalapvienošanās minājulestības. rinājumu. Viņš bija cilvēks, kuru DIEVS atjaunoja pēc gadiem ilgas šķiršanās. Pa e-pastu: ([email tiakina])