Te Noho Tahi – He Tirohanga ki te Āhua o te Oranga Marena

Ehara te noho tahi i te mea ngāwari, engari he whakaurunga ki tētahi momo oranga hou. Mai i ngā mātua ki ngā hoa noho whare wānanga, kātahi ka noho tahi, me huri ō koutou tikanga me tō koutou āhua noho. Mā te whakaae tahi, te māramatanga, me te nui o te aroha, ka tino pai te haere o te noho tahi.

I te 24 o ō māua tau, ka whakatau māua ko taku hoa wahine kia noho tahi. Nō Ūropi ki te Rawhiti ia, ā, nō Dadar, Mumbai māua. I tūtaki māua ki Rānana, i te wāhi e ako ana māua. I muri i te mōhio ki a māua mō te toru tau, ka tīmata māua te whakaipoipo. I te mutunga o tō māua tau tuawhā me te tau whakamutunga, ka whakatau māua kia neke ki te USA ki te kimi mahi i tētahi hōtēra, kia noho tahi ai.

I whakatau māua i tēnei whakatau nā te mea i hiahia māua kia tino mōhio māua ka taea e māua te noho tahi, te marena hoki tetahi i tetahi a muri ake nei. I aroha māua tetahi ki tetahi, engari kāore te aroha anake e ranea mō te angitu o te marena, inā koa he rerekē rawa te ahurea o tō hoa rangatira. Nō reira, i tino mōhio ahau mā te noho tahi me taku hoa rangatira ka pai ake te noho tahi o māua.

Te Noho Tahi me taku Hoa

Ahakoa i mōhio aku hoa tata katoa ki taku whakatau ki te noho tahi me ia, kāore i taea e au te whakaemi i te maia ki te kōrero ki ōku mātua me te whānau, nō reira i huna e au rātou. I noho tahi māua mō te tau kotahi ki Tulsa, USA. I a māua e kōrero tahi ana mō tō māua heke mai, me te whakapiki ake i te whakaaro nui, i pukumahi ōku mātua ki te whakauru i ahau ki ngā pae marena.

I whakaaro ahau e kore rawa tōku whānau e mārama ki tōku whanaungatanga ki a ia nā te mea he tino tikanga tuku iho ōku mātua. Mēnā ka noho tahi māua me tētahi tangata iwi kē, ka pai ki a rāua, ā, kāore rawa e whakaaetia.

He rawe ngā marama tuatahi e ono o te noho tahi

He rawe ngā marama tuatahi e ono o te noho tahi i te whare kotahi. I roto i tō māua whanaungatanga ngā mea katoa e wātea ana ki tētahi tokorua hou kua marenatia. I rite ki te manukanuka whanaungatanga hou I tino pai te āhua, engari i te taha pai. I tawhiti māua i ō māua whānau, ā, kāore rawa he pēhanga a te hapori. Ka taea e māua te mahi i ngā mea katoa e hiahia ana māua, me te noho hei tangata e hiahia ana māua.

Ko māua anake i roto i te whanaungatanga, kāore he tangata kē atu. Ko te hanga i ā māua ake ture te mea pai rawa atu. I ētahi rā, i rite māua ki tētahi kiriata harikoa. Engari kei runga māua i ngā visa mahi ka tata pau. Ahakoa he maha ā māua mahere āpiti, kāore tetahi o māua i maia ki te mahi i aua mahere. Me hoki ahau ki Īnia, ā, me neke whenua tetahi o māua mō tetahi atu.

Te pānui e pā ana: 10 ngā mea ka pā ki ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e noho tahi ana

Ka taea rānei e ia te whakaae ki ōku mātua?

I taku whakaaro tonu ki a ia i Mumbai, ka mōhio ahau kāore ia e uru ki roto i te whānau. He rerekē te noho tahi, engari he rerekē te noho i roto i te whānau Inia kotahi. Kei te noho ahau i roto i te whānau kotahi, ā, ko te whakaaro o te katoa he 'tātou', kaua ko 'au'. Ki a ia, he tino uaua nā te mea he tino takitahi, he motuhake hoki ia.

I ngā wā katoa e waea mai ai ōku mātua ki ahau, ka tono mai ia kia tīmata ahau ki te wehe atu i a rāua. Kua uaua kē te āhua o ngā mea i tēnei. Me whiriwhiri rānei ahau i waenga i te hunga nāna ahau i whakatipu me te wahine e arohaina ana e au? I hiahia ia ki ahau, kaua ki ōku mātua? I hiahia ahau ki te marena i a ia, engari i hiahia anō hoki ahau kia whakaae mai ia ki tōku whānau matatika.

E tama, e hiahia ana ahau ki ngā hū ma hou!

I tētahi ahiahi, i tū he pāti tari mā māua. I hiahia ia ki te mau i tētahi kākahu mā, ā, i te ata, ka mōhio ia kāore āna hū mā hei rite mōna. Hei mōhio, he maha āna takirua hū, ā, ka taea e ia te tīmata i tana ake toa.

Engari mō tētahi pāti e rua hāora noa iho te roa, i hiahia ia kia hokona e au he hū hou, he hū utu nui, he hū ma, hei kakahu mōna. Ka pātai atu ahau, "He aha koe te whiriwhiri ai i tētahi atu hū?"

"E aha?!" i karanga ia, ā, i mōhio ahau me mutu tonu tēnei kōrero. Nō reira, ka tukua e au. Nā tēnei i tino whakaaro ahau mō ngā raruraru marena me te moni e taea e tātou te whiwhi ā muri ake nei.

I tēnei wā, ko te noho tahi he utu nui ki ahau i te taha pūtea, ā, he mea whakararu hoki i tōku kaha. Kāore rawa i roto i te mahere te tuku i ēnei hiahia. Engari me aha koe? Ina aroha koe ki tētahi, me whakaae koe ki a ia me te ngākau pono ahakoa he whakararuraru i a koe i ētahi wā. I whakaaro ahau, mehemea ka marena māua, ka ngaro katoa aku penapena ki ngā hū ka mau kotahi noa iho pea ia, kātahi ka maka atu.

Te pānui e pā ana: Ngā wero o te noho tahi i Inia

Kāore e taea te kai para nā te mea kei te kai kai au

Āe! I whakatau ia ki te whakaiti i tōna taumaha, nō reira i hiahia ia ki te kai i tētahi kai iti. I te mea ko au te hoa tautoko, i pai ahau mōna! I hiahia ahau ki te tautoko i a ia i roto i ngā mea katoa e whakaarohia ana e ia. Heoi, kāore au i mōhio ka uru mai tēnei whanonga ki roto i tōku ao noho.

Kāore au i te hiahia ki te whakaiti i tōku taumaha, kāore hoki i hiahiatia. Kāore ia i whakaae kia kai ahau i aku mea tino pai pēnei i te aihikirīmi, te pīta me te tiihi nā te mea kei te kai kai ia, ā, ka whakamatautauria ia ki te kai i aua mea mēnā ka kai ahau. Ka maka katoatia e ia i roto i te pouaka whakamātao. I whakaaro ahau mēnā ka marena māua, ka taea rānei e au te mahi i taku e hiahia ai?

I te tata mai o te rā paunga o tā māua visa, ka tīmata ahau ki te whakaaro mēnā he pono kei te whakaritea māua kia noho tahi. Ko ana whanonga, ko tōna āhua rangatira me tōna wairua whaiaro, he nui rawa ngā mea kāore e taea te aro atu, inā koa i taku mōhio ka noho tonu ahau i roto i te whānau kotahi.

Nā te noho tahi me ia i homai he tirohanga poto ki ahau mō te āhua o tōku ao ā muri ake nei – he tangata i waenganui i te whānau me te wahine. Nō reira, ka whakatau ahau kia neke atu. He tino rawe te noho tahi, engari kāore e whai hua te marena ki a ia. He mea nui ake te marena. Ahakoa i aroha māua tetahi ki tetahi, kāore anō māua kia rite mō te taahiraa e whai ake nei hei tokorua.

Heoi, e tino mōhio ana ahau kāore e mutu ngā whanaungatanga noho tahi katoa pērā i tāku. He maha ngā wā, mā te noho tahi ka kitea he tīmatanga mō te āhua o te marena. Ka whakahihiri ētahi, ka whakamataku ētahi. Ahakoa pēhea, he āwhina te mahi nei ki te mārama ki tō tūnga me ō hiahia takitahi i te ao.

(E ai ki te kōrero ki a Ajinkya Sontakke)

Te Noho Tahi - Ngā Painga me ngā Huakore

Ki te noho tahi kōrua i mua i te mārena, he tohu tēnei kua rite kōrua mō te mārena?

He aha i tīmata ai te āhua ōrite o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i roto i te marena i muri i ngā tekau tau e noho tahi ana?

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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