He aha te take e kiia ai he mahi uaua te whakaipoipo i tētahi wahine motuhake? Kāore i te whakamataku, kāore hoki i te ahotea. Me whai whakaaro nui anō hoki tētahi tāne kaha, e kore e hae, e mataku rānei i tana angitu. Ko te wahine e tautoko ana i a ia anō, kāore e whakawhirinaki ki tētahi atu engari ko ia anake, ā, he hiahia tōna ki te whakahaere i tōna ake oranga.
Pērā i tana mahi, e hiahia ana hoki ia kia angitu te whanaungatanga, ā, kāore he pātai mō te takaro tahi. E pai ana rānei ngā tāne ki te whakaipoipo i ngā wāhine motuhake ā-pūtea? E ai ki tētahi rangahau i whakahaerehia e The Wall Street Journal mō te whakaaro nui o ngā tāne o te rautau 21 ki te mana motuhake o ngā wāhine me ngā tamāhine, e kitea ana ahakoa e 45% o ngā tāne e whakaaro ana ko te ataahua tētahi o ngā āhuatanga tino nui mō tā rātou wahine, hoa wahine rānei, 11% noa iho i kī pērā mō tā rātou tamāhine.
Waihoki, i kī ngā tāne ko te tū motuhake (66% mō te tamāhine; 34% mō te wahine/hoa wahine) me te kaha (48% mō te tamāhine, 28% mō te wahine/hoa wahine) ngā āhuatanga tino nui mō te tamāhine. He haumaru te whakapae i ēnei tāne mō tō rātou tinihanga? He mea whakakatakata te kite i te hiahia o ngā tāne e hiahia ana kia tū motuhake ā rātou tamāhine ki te taha pūtea, ko rātou anō hoki kāore e hiahia kia tū motuhake ā rātou hoa wahine. Ahakoa pēhea, he wā anō tēnei hei tautohetohe. I nāianei, me titiro tātou ki ngā mea me mōhio koe mēnā kei te whakaipoipo koe i tētahi wahine atamai he wairua tū motuhake.
Ngā Pakiwaitara mō te Whakaipoipo i tētahi Wahine Motuhake
Ripanga o Ihirangi
I mua i tā tātou haere tonu, me whakakore ētahi kōrero pakiwaitara e pā ana ki te whakaipoipo i ngā wāhine motuhake. Kei raro nei ētahi o ngā whakaaro o mua o te hapori mō te wahine kaha me te mahi e whakatau ana i ana ake whakatau, ā, kāore e tukua tetahi kia whakahaere i tōna oranga:
- Panui: He wahine whai mana motuhake, he wahine whai whakaaro ki a rātou anō
- Maama: E mōhio ana rātou ko wai rātou, ā, ko te mea pai anake mā rātou anake e hiahia ana
- Panui: He tino teitei ā rātou paerewa, ā, e rapu ana rātou i te tino tika i ngā mea katoa
- Maama: Kāore ā rātou tumanakohanga koretake mai i ō rātou hoa. He wahine hihiri noa iho rātou e whakapono ana ka taea e tā rātou hoa te mahi pai ake.
- Panui: Ko ia he wahine whakahaere ā, e hiahia ana kia noho ko ia te "tāne" i roto i te whanaungatanga
- Maama: Ahakoa ko tā rātou ake moni te mea e whiwhi ai rātou, ehara i te mea ko rātou te tāne i roto i te whanaungatanga.
- Panui: Kāore rātou e aro ki tā rātou whanaungatanga, ko tā rātou mahi te kaupapa matua
- Maama: Ahakoa e hiahia ana rātou ki tētahi mahi angitu, ehara i te mea e hiahia ana rātou kia hinga tā rātou hononga aroha.
- Panui: He wāhine makariri, he wahine hukapapa rātou, kāore e pai ki te whanaungatanga piripono
- Maama: He rite tonu te manaaki, te aroha, me te piripono o ngā wāhine motuhake ki ā rātou hoa
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Te Whakaipoipo i tētahi Wahine Motuhake – 15 Ngā Mea Me Mōhio Koe
Kāore te whakaipoipo i ngā wāhine motuhake i rite ki te whakaipoipo i tētahi atu. He hinengaro anō tō rātou, ā, ka taea e rātou te whakarato i te harikoa me te haumaru ki a rātou anō. Hei whai hononga kaha, hauora hoki ki a rātou, anei ngā mea 15 me mōhio koe ina whakaipoipo ana koe i ngā wāhine motuhake:
1. Ka tohaina e ia ngā kawenga
Mai i ngā mahi o te whare ki te hokohoko kai me te whakamahere tahua, ka tohaina e rātou ngā kawenga ki a koe. Mena ko koe te momo tāne e kore e mangere ki te tono awhina i tā rātou hoa, ko te whakaipoipo i tētahi wahine e tautoko ana i a koe anō te mea pai rawa atu ka pā ki a koe. Kāore koe e mahi i tetahi mea ko koe anake, ā, ka rite ki te mea kei runga i ō pakihiwi te kawenga katoa.
E kore rawa te wahine motuhake ā-pūtea e hoki whakamuri ki te tuku i tana wāhi ki te whanaungatanga i ngā āhuatanga katoa tae atu ki:
- Arohiko
- Hangarau
- tinana
- pūtea
Ka wehea e ia ngā pire, ka mahi tahi hoki i ngā mahi o te whare. Koinei ngā painga nui o te whakaipoipo i tētahi wahine whai mana.
2. Ka taea e koe te noho ko koe anō ki a ia
Ki te mea kei te raru koe i te whanaungatanga i a koe e whakaipoipo ana i tētahi wahine motuhake, tera pea kāore koe e whakatuwhera tika ana i ō whakaaro ki a ia. Ina aroha tētahi wahine angitu ki a koe, ka rite tana mahi ki ngā wāhine katoa. Ka aroha ia ki a koe, ka aroha hoki ki a koe i ngā ara ōrite. Ka taea e koe te noho ko koe anō i tōna taha, me te kore e hiahia ki te whakaari, ki te whakaatu rānei i te tāne rūpahu.
Kei te whakaipoipo ia i a koe nā te mea e pai ana ia ki a koe, ā, e hiahia ana ia ki te mōhio ki ngā mea katoa mōu. Kia māia koe, ka taea e koe te noho ngoikore ki a ia, ā, kaua e tukua kia āraihia tō whanaungatanga e tetahi āwangawanga. E whakaaro ana te tangata ka whakamahi ngā wāhine motuhake i ngā kīanga whakahāwea , ka whakahaere rānei i ō rātou kare ā-roto. He koretake, he teka hoki taua whakawhanuitanga.
3. He mea nui te wāhi i te wā e whakaipoipo ana i tētahi wahine motuhake
Pērā i tētahi atu tangata, ahakoa he wahine atamai, e pai ana ki a ia te whai wāhi motuhake hei mahi i ngā mea e pai ana ki a ia. Ahakoa e pai ana ia ki te aro mai i tana hoa rangatira, me te whakapau i te wā kounga ki a rātou, e pai ana hoki ki a ia te noho mokemoke me te mahi i ngā mea mai i tana ake tirohanga.
Mena he tangata motuhake ia, tera pea he pai ki a ia te whakaaroaro ki ngā mea ko ia anake, ā, kāore e hiahiatia kia pehia ia i ngā wā katoa. Ko te whakaipoipo i tētahi wahine e whakawhirinaki ana ki a ia anō he mea nui te mōhio ki te wā me te pēhea te tuku i a ia kia pērā.
4. He take kei te ara ake ōna pakitara
Mena kei te ahua aro nui ia ki a ia anō, ā, he taiepa kei te karapoti i a ia, he take tērā. Kati te tākaro ki a ia nā te mea kua mōhio kē pea ia ki ō rautaki. Hei karo i ngā raruraru whanaungatanga i te wā e whakaipoipo ana i tētahi wahine motuhake, he mea whakaaro nui kia pātai atu he aha ia i tūpato tonu ai. Tērā pea nā ētahi take pēnei i:
- He maha rawa pea ngā wā i whakamahia kinotia ai ia e te tangata, ā, kāore e taea e ia te tūpono ka tupu anō.
- Kua hanga e ia ia anō mai i te tīmatanga, ā, kāore ia e hiahia kia araia e tetahi.
- Kua whara ia i mua, ā, e wehi ana kei whakaraerae anō ia
5. Ka roa te wā hei kukume i a ia
Nā ōna wheako o mua, ōna mamae, me tōna āhua whakawhirinaki ki a ia anō, he uaua ki te kukume i a ia. E kore ia e whakaae ki tētahi atu, e kore hoki e whakarērea tana mahi mō tana hoa. Heoi anō, e hiahia ana ia ki te aroha, ā, e hiahia ana kia arohaina ia e tētahi me te ngākau pono. Anei ētahi o ngā huarahi ka taea e koe te mea kia aroha ia ki a koe :
- Kia motuhake ia mā te tiki putiputi māna (Ae, he pai ki a rātou te whiwhi putiputi i ētahi wā)
- Tautokohia ana moemoeā me ana wawata
- Tukua ia kia whakatau i āna ake whakatau
- Kāore koe e hiahia ki te piko whakamuri hei miharo i a ia
- Kaua e whakapae mōna me tōna oranga
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6. Ka kōrero tika atu ia ki a koe
He oranga anō tā te wahine whai mana hei tiaki. Mā tēnei ka iti ake te wā mōna ki te tākaro kēmu, ki te kōrero teka rānei. E kore ia e huna i ngā mea hei tiaki i ō kare ā-roto, ā, e kore hoki ia e takaro noa i ngā mea e pā ana ki a koe. Ina aroha ia ki a koe, ka tino mōhio ia ki tēnā, ā, ka tino aro nui ia ki tēnā mena e hiahia ana ia ki te whakatata atu ki te whanaungatanga. Ka pono, ka tika tonu tana kōrero ki a koe.
7. Ehara ia i te tangata e hiahia ana ki te tiaki nui
E mōhio ana te wahine e tautoko ana i a ia anō me pēhea te tiaki i a ia anō. Engari, ehara i te mea kāore ia e pai ki te whakaaro motuhake i ētahi wā. Ka maioha tonu ia ki ngā karere mihi o te ata, ngā koha ohorere, me ngā hui tina, pērā i tētahi atu kōtiro. I taua wā anō, ka pai ia mēnā ka mau koe i te mahi i tētahi pō, ā, ka ngaro koe i tētahi hui tina. E mārama ana ia ko tāu mahi te mea nui ki a koe.
8. He tangata mātau, he tangata whakaaro nui hoki ia
Ko te wahine whai mana ake he tangata kua ako ki te noho i runga i ana ake tikanga. Ko te tikanga ka tae mai taua wā i muri i ngā wheako nui me te whakaaroaro hohonu. Nā te mea he nui āna akoranga, ka whai tonu ia i tētahi tohutohu māu. Mā tēnei ka āwhina i a kōrua ki te hanga i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora ki a kōrua.
Ehara tēnei i te kī kāore rātou e hē. He tangata te hē. Heoi anō, ka whai whakaaro nui anō hoki ia ka taea e koe te hauhake i ngā hua. He nui ngā mea kua akohia e ia mai i ngā wā o mua, ā, kua nui ake tōna whakaaro nui i ēnei rā. Mā āna kōrero pakiwaitara me āna kitenga, ka miharo tonu koe ki tētahi tirohanga kāore pea i a koe. E harikoa ana ia i a ia anō engari he wahine ia nō te ao, ā, māna e whakamōhio atu ki a koe.
9. Ka taea e ia te horoi i tana ake paru
Ahakoa kei te tino hē te haere o ngā mea i roto i tōna ao, kāore ia e hiahia ana ki te whakapuaki i ngā mea katoa ki a koe. Ehara i te mea kāore ia e aroha ki a koe. He maha ngā wā ka taea e ngā wāhine motuhake te whakatika i ā rātou ake raruraru, ā, e pai ake ana rātou ki te whakatika i ā rātou ake raruraru mēnā ka taea e rātou. He rite te whakatau i tētahi wahine motuhake ki te whakatau i tētahi e:
- E mōhio ana me pēhea te whakatika i ana ake raruraru
- E mōhio ana me pēhea te whakamahi i te mea pai rawa atu i roto i ngā āhuatanga kino rawa atu
- Ka taea e ia te whakahaere i ngā raruraru iti ko ia anake
- Ka koa ia ki te whakapuaki i ōna whakaaro mēnā kei te raru koe
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10. Pātai atu ki a ia i mua i te whakarite i ngā mahere e whakauru ana i a ia
Ki te hiahia koe ki te hararei poto, ki te haere rānei ki te hararei, he mea pai kia pātai atu koe mō tōna wā e wātea ana i mua i te whakamahere i ngā mea katoa. Tērā pea kei te pukumahi ia i te mahi. Ka taea e kōrua te noho tahi ki te kōrero mō te wā waatea o tētahi ki tētahi, me te whakaaro ki ngā whakaritenga o te haerenga. Mā ēnei mahi anō hoki ka whakapakari ake te whanaungatanga.
11. Kāore ia e wehi i te haere atu
Ina kino ngā āhuatanga, kāore ia e wehi ki te wehe atu i te whanaungatanga. Ko te mea kino rawa atu ka taea e koe te mahi ki tētahi wahine e kaha ana ki te pupuri i a ia anō ko te ngana ki te whakahaere me te wawahi i a ia. Ehara i te mea ngāwari. Ki te ngaro tō hiahia ki a ia, e kore hoki ia e whai i a koe. Ki te hē tō mahi ki a ia, e kore ia e noho noa, e tuku i a koe kia mahi. Tērā pea ka hoatu e ia he wā ki a koe i mua i tōna wehenga atu, engari ehara i te mea kāore e taea e ia te poroporoaki. Ehara tēnei i te kī ka mutu tā rāua mahi. Ko te tikanga o tēnei kāore e taea e rāua te noho tahi. He mea anō kei reira e kore rawa ia e whakaae ki roto i tētahi whanaungatanga.
12. Me hiahia ia ki tētahi hoa kaha
Nā te mea kāore ia i te tino hiahia, tērā pea kāore e taea e te wahine motuhake te aro atu ki tētahi hoa tino hiahia. Ko te mea e tino hiahiatia ana e te wahine motuhake mai i tētahi hoa he tangata ka taea te tiaki i a ia anō. Ahakoa ka hiahia tonu ia ki te tuku tautoko me te manaaki i a koe, e pai ana te hunga motuhake ki te kite i ngā tāngata ka taea te āwhina i a rātou anō. Kāore i a rātou te kaha hei kuini whakaari. Kia māia koe kāore ia e hanga whakaari, e tono aroha rānei, ā, ka tumanako anō hoki ia ki te pera mai i a koe.
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13. He tautoko hinengaro ia
Ko te whakaipoipo i tētahi wahine manawanui he whakaipoipo i tētahi tangata e aroha ana ki a ia anō engari e aroha ana ki te hunga e karapoti ana i a rātou. He rerekē ki tā te tikanga e whakaarohia ana mō rātou, ehara ngā wāhine motuhake i te hunga hiahia, i te hunga whanoke rānei. Ko rātou te ritenga kē. Nā te kaha me te whakawhirinaki ki a rātou anō, ka kohikohi ngā wāhine motuhake i te kaha ki te mahi i te mea kotahi mō ētahi atu tāngata. Ina hinga tētahi wahine ki te aroha, ka tuku āwhina me te tautoko i ngā mea katoa e taea e ia.
14. Tērā pea kua whakaritea ia ki āna ake ara
Ina kaha te mahi a te wahine kia noho ko ia te tangata e tū nei ia, tērā pea kāore ia e tere te urutau pērā i ētahi atu tāngata. Nā te mea kua hangaia e ia ia anō me tōna oranga ki te ara e pai ana ki a ia, tērā pea kāore ia e hiahia kia whakararuraru tetahi i tēnā. Mai i ana whakairinga pakitara ki te āhua o tana inu tī, tērā pea kāore te wahine maia e whakarongo ki ō tohutohu i ngā wā katoa. Engari ehara tēnā i te mea whaiaro, ā, kāore he pānga ki tōna aroha ki a koe. Tērā pea he taha pakeke noa iho tōna. Anei ētahi rautaki whakatau tautohe ka taea e koe te whakamātau ki te whakatau i taua mea anō.
Waihoki, he wahine pūmau te whakaaro nui mō āna moni whiwhi uaua, ā, ka pai ki a ia te whakarite i āna penapena me āna haumitanga. Kaua e pātai tonu ki a ia mō tēnā, kei kore ia e aro.
15. E hiahia ana ia ki a koe
He mea whakahihi tēnei ki a koe, engari he pono rawa tēnei. Ko tētahi o ngā tohu o te wahine motuhake ko te kore e hiahia ki tētahi atu. He maha ngā wā, he rārangi hoa aroha āna e tatari ana kia whai wāhi atu ia. Ki te mea kei a koe ia, e aroha nui ana ia ki a koe. Kāore te wahine kaha, motuhake e hiahia ana ki a koe i ia rā o tōna ao, engari ka wehea e ia taua wāhi, ka whakauru i a koe ki roto nā te mea e hiahia ana ia ki te whakatau i tēnā. Kāore ia e whakawhirinaki ana, engari kei te aroha noa ia.
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Te Whakaipoipo i tētahi Wahine Motuhake – Ngā Mea e Me Mahi, Ngā Mea Kāore e Me Mahi
Ko te whakaipoipo i tētahi wahine hihiri te mea e rapuhia ana e te nuinga o te tangata i ēnei rā, nā te mea ka puta he tirohanga hou ki ō rātou ake oranga. Ko te aroha ki tētahi wahine kaha, motuhake, kāore e whakaiti i te hiranga o te tangata, e whakaiti rānei i a koe. Ka taea e ia te whakarerekē i tō oranga kia pai ake. Anei ētahi mea me mahi, me ngā mea kāore e tika ana kia mahia e koe i mua i te whakaipoipo i tētahi wahine māia ki a ia anō:
hoki
- Hoatu he wāhi ki a ia: Kāore ia e hiahia kia noho noa koe i runga i a ia i tētahi pāti, kia waea atu rānei koe ki a ia i ia rā i tana wā tina. Kāore ia e pai ki te piripono i roto i te whanaungatangaHe pai ki te wahine māia tōna wā whaiaro, ā, me noho tahi ia me tētahi e whakaute ana i tēnā.
- Kia mārama ō tumanakohanga ki a ia: Kāore ngā wāhine māia e pai ki te kōrero teka, nō reira he pai ake te whakatakoto noa i ngā mea katoa ki runga i te tēpu. Kōrerohia ō āwangawanga me ō tumanakohanga katoa ki a ia. Ka whakanuia, ka whakautehia hoki e ia ngā mea katoa e kōrerohia ana e koe.
- Mea atu ki a ia e aroha ana koe ki a ia: Ahakoa he tangata whakawhirinaki ia ki a ia anō, kei a koe ia nā te mea e hiahia ana ia ki te aroha me te arohaina. Me haere tonu te atawhai i a ia, me te mea kia motuhake ia ahakoa tōna māia me tōna maia ahakoa kāore koe.
Nga Tangata
- Whakatauhia ngā whakatau māna: Ahakoa te wahine e whakawhirinaki ana ki a ia anō, e whakanuia ana pea tō whakaaro me tō tohutohu, kaua e ngana ki te akiaki i a ia. Ka whakaute ia i a koe, engari kāore i te whakaae tonu ki a koe.
- Ngāna kia hae ia E kore rawa te wahine aroha, māia hoki e taka ki taua momo mea. Ina hoki, ka whakarihariha noa iho ia, ka riri rānei. E kore ia e waiho hei hoa wahine hae momo. Kōrero noa atu ki a ia
- Whakamahia tōna wairua tuwhera: Ka hoatu hoki e te wahine toa he mana motuhake ki a koe. Engari, ehara i te mea hei take mōu ki te mahi i tetahi mea e hiahia ana koe, ā, ka marere haere. He hononga tonu kei roto i a kōrua.
Tohutohu Matua
- Kaua e whakapae noa i tētahi wahine e whakawhirinaki ana ki a ia anō. Tīmata ki te pātai ngā pātai whanaungatanga hōhonu, ngā pātai mō tōna oranga me tana mahi. Ka tino maioha ia ki tō wā me tō aro
- Tautokohia āna moemoeā me tana mahi. Ka tautokohia hoki e ia ō whāinga me ō wawata.
- Ka aroha ia ki a koe mō tōu āhua, ā, kāore koe e hiahia ki te whakaari i a koe anō hei tangata kē ina noho tahi kōrua me ia.
Ina noho tahi koe me tētahi wahine e whakawhirinaki ana ki a ia anō, ko te kawenga mō te pupuri i te whanaungatanga kare ā-roto me te taha pūtea kei runga i ō kōrua pakihiwi e rua. Kaua e whakaaro ko ia anake hei pikau i te kawenga taumaha o te whanaungatanga. E hiahia ana ia ki tētahi whanaungatanga e hangai ana ki te aroha, te ngākau aroha, te pono, me te ōritetanga.
FAQs
He wahine tū motuhake, he wahine haumaru i roto i tōna ao. Heoi, kāore pea tēnei e pono i te taha kare ā-roto. He pai ki a ia te utu i ana ake pire, me te whakahaere i tōna ao i runga i tana e pai ai. Ko te mea kino rawa atu ka taea e koe te mahi ki tētahi wahine tū motuhake ko te ngana ki te whakahaere i a ia. Ehara ia i te momo tangata e tika ana kia whakangawaritia.
Ehara i te mea uaua, ā, ehara rawa i te mea tino uaua rawa atu. Ki te mea he tangata kaha koe, he tangata motuhake, kāore e mataku i ana moni me ana angitu, kāti, ehara i te mea uaua ki a koe te whakaipoipo i tētahi wahine kaha.
Haunga ngā mea nui pēnei i te aroha, te atawhai, me te pono, e maioha ana te wahine motuhake ki te wā mokemoke, te wāhi, te aroha, me te tautoko. E hiahia ana ia ki tētahi hoa e atawhai ana ki a ia, e mārama ana ki a ia. Ka tumanako ia kia mahi koe i tāu mahi, ā, e kore e whakamāmā i a koe.
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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
