8 Ngā Hipanga Hei Whakahē i te Kōtiro i Whakakahore i a Koe

Kua whakakahoretia koe e tētahi kōtiro i ēnei rā tata nei? Tērā pea ka tino mamae tō whakapehapeha me tō ngākau. Ka taea tonu e koe te whakatau i te raruraru o te whakaute i a koe anō mā te whakaatu i tō ataahua ki tētahi atu kōtiro, me te miharo i a ia, engari kāore tēnā e tupu. Nā te mea kua tino piri tō ngākau ki tēnei. E whakaaro ana koe ko ia tō hoa wairua, ā, kāore anō ia kia mōhio. Kāore e taea e koe te kore e whakaaroaro me pēhea te wikitoria i te kōtiro nāna koe i whakakahore, kia riro ai i a koe ake ake.

Hei whakapai ake i te tirohanga, anei ētahi pātai me whakautu tuatahi e koe: I whakakahoretia rawatia koe nā te whakatata atu ki a ia? Kāore ia i te aro ki te ao whakaipoipo? Nāu rānei i whakakahoretia e ia? Ka taea e tātou te mārama kua pumau tō ngākau, ā, e mōhio ana tātou i roto i te hohonutanga o tō wairua kua whakaritea kōrua kia noho tahi, ahakoa kāore anō ia kia kite.

E mōhio ana koe e hiahia ana koe ki te whakamātau anō, engari me whakaute hoki koe i ana rohe. Hei āwhina i a koe ki te rapu huarahi i waho o tēnei raruraru, me te mārama hoki ki te huarahi hei whakahaere i te āhuatanga mēnā ka whakakahoretia tō tono e te kōtiro, ka whakarārangihia e mātou ētahi huarahi hei wikitoria i te kōtiro kua whakakahoretia koe. I ētahi wā, tera pea ka taea te huri i te whakakorenga mai i te kōtiro engari he huarahi tika hei mahi. Nō reira, me te kore e whakaroa, me tīmata tonu tātou.

Ki te whakakahoretia koe e te kōtiro, he whai wāhitanga tonu?

Me whai atu koe i tētahi kōtiro i whakakahore i a koe? Me mahi tonu mēnā kei te whakapau kaha koe ki te tango i a ia māu. He iti noa te tūponotanga ki te riro i a ia tētahi kōtiro kāore i aro ki a koe, engari ehara i te mea kāore e taea. Me whakamātau koe ki a ia me koe anō. Tērā pea kāore koe i te tino pai, i whakaatu rānei i tētahi mea kāore koe i te tino pai, i hohoro rānei tana whakatau. He maha ngā mea kua hē.

A, mehemea kua kōrero kino mai ōna hoa mōu, ehara i te mea pono? Tērā pea kei te whakapae ia i tō whakaaro, ā, e whakaaro ana ia kei te hiahia noa koe ki te whai hoa, ki te whai hononga noa rānei? Tērā pea he maha ngā take e whakakahore ai ia i a koe, me te kore e tino mōhio he aha ia i whakakahore ai i a koe. I nāianei, me mahi tātou me taua whakaaro, me te tumanako ka whai wāhi tātou ki te wikitoria i te kotiro nāna koe i whakakahore.

I Bonobology, he maha ngā kōrero a ngā wāhine e tuhituhi mai ana ki a mātou mō te whakakore i ngā tama i runga i ngā take ngoikore, me te pātai mai me pēhea e taea ai e rātou te tīmata anō i te whakahoahoa. Kaua e hoki whakamuri i tēnei wā, nā te mea he whakamataku te whakaaro me aha mēnā ka whakakorea koe e te kōtiro. Tērā pea kua pai kē ia ki a koe, ā, kei te pouri ia mō te whakakore i a koe. I ētahi wā, tera pea he te mataku ki te whakapau kaha i taua wā engari tera pea kei te aroha tonu ki a koe, kāore e mōhio me pēhea te whakapuaki tika. Ki te whakaaro koe koinei te mea e pā ana ki a koe, me tatari koe mō tētahi atu whai wāhitanga, me te tuku i a ia kia whai wā me te wāhi kia rite ai ia mō tētahi. Me whakautu koe ki te whakakorenga me te whakaute.

I tēnei wā, ka taea e koe te whakaatu ki a ia mā ngā huarahi ngawari kei te tatari koe, ā, kei te tino whakapau kaha koe mēnā ka whakakahoretia tō tono e te kotiro. Engari kia maumahara he rārangi angiangi kei waenganui i te aro nui ki tētahi me te whakamōhio atu kei reira koe. Kāore koe e hiahia kia rite ki te aro nui ki a ia. Kia tika āu nekehanga, i te wā tonu ka rite koe ki te tangata wairangi, ka hiahia tonu ia ki te matara atu i a koe.

Te pānui e pā ana: 8 Ngā Huarahi Whaitake hei Whakatau i te Whakakorenga i roto i te Aroha

Me aha koe mēnā ka whakakahoretia koe e te kotiro?

Ki te whakaaro koe kei a koe tonu te whai wāhi ki te toa i tōna ngākau, he mea nui kia mōhio koe ki te aha e meatia ina whakakahoretia tō tono e te kōtiro. Heoi, ki te whakakahoretia anō koe e ia, ka tūtohu mātou kia tukuna atu e koe i tēnei wā. I te mutunga, kāore e taea e koe te akiaki i te hononga me te ngā tohu kukume i waenganui i te tangata. Ahakoa me whakaute koe i te whakatau a te tangata kē, me kimi hoki e koe me pēhea te neke whakamua.

I ētahi wā, he mea nui ake te mārama ki te wā tika kia tukuna atu, i te ngana ki te patu i tētahi hoiho mate. Ki te tino pai koe ki tētahi, ā, ka whakakahoretia koe e ia, ka waiho hei mea whakapouri, hei mea mamae hoki te whakaae atu. Engari he mea mārama tonu mēnā kei te aroha tonu koe ki a ia, ā, kāore koe e hiahia ki te tuku tonu atu. Kua pā ki a tātou katoa taua āhuatanga.

Nō reira, ki te whakakahoretia koe e te kōtiro, ki te whakakahoretia rānei tō tono marena e te kōtiro, kei te wātea tonu te whai wāhitanga? Ki te pono, he tino takitahi te whakautu ki taua pātai, ā, kei te āhua o te āhuatanga. Ki te mea kua kī tika atu te tangata e pouri ana koe ki a koe kāore he mea e tupu i waenganui i a kōrua, he pai ake pea te neke atu i tēnei wā tonu, me te kore e tuku karere kuputuhi, e whakararuraru rānei i a rāua.

Mena kei roto ia i tētahi whanaungatanga, e hiahia ana rānei ia ki te wheako i te ngā painga o te noho takakau, ko tāu noa he whakaute i tāna i whiriwhiri ai mō tēnā. Ko te tikanga o te "kāo" he kāo, ā, e kore tōna tirohanga e tino rerekē i roto i ngā wā e tata mai nei. Ko te ngana ki te noho noa, ki te tatari kia hinga tana whanaungatanga, koinei pea te mea kino rawa atu ka mahia e koe māu ake. Kāore he taurangi ka hiahia ia ki a koe, ā, tera pea ka moumou noa koe i te nuinga o tō wā, kātahi ka riri ki a ia i muri mai.

Heoi, ki te mea kua whakakahoretia koe e ia mō ngā āhuatanga tino uaua, pērā i te kore e tika te wā mōna, te kore rānei e kite i a koe pērā, tera pea ka pai ake māu te tatari mō tētahi wā, te huri noa rānei i tō āhua. Koinā te wā me tīmata koe ki te whakaaro ki te whakautu ki ngā āwangawanga pēnei i te, 'Me aha koe mēnā ka whakakahoretia koe e tētahi kōtiro engari kei te pai tonu ki a koe?'. Ki te mea kei te tino whakapono koe kei roto i tō ngākau e hiahia ana ia ki a koe pērā i tō hiahia ki a ia, kāti ka tohutohu mātou kia whakamātauria tēnei.

Hei te mutunga iho, ko te whakautu ki te pātai, 'Ki te whakakahoretia koe e te kōtiro, kei te wātea tonu te whai wāhitanga?' e whakawhirinaki ana ki te whanaungatanga kei a koe me ia. Kia maumahara tonu ko te tikanga o te tangata me te whakaute i te kōwhiringa a te tangata i muri i tana whakapuakitanga i tōna riri he mea tino nui. Kaua e whakamahia tēnei hei take hei whakaatu i te aroha. whanonga ātete, whakahaere.

I tētahi atu taha, ki te mea he iti noa ngā āhuatanga e aukati ana i a ia, tera pea ētahi mea ka taea e koe te mahi hei whakapai ake i ō tupono ki te wikitoria i tētahi kōtiro i whakakahore i a koe. Nā reira, me titiro tātou ki te aha me mahi ina whakakahoretia koe e tētahi kōtiro, kia kore ai koe e ngaro rawa i roto i te mamae o te ngākau e pā ana ki a koe. Ā, me whakahoki mai tō kōtiro.

8 Ngā Hipanga ki te Wikitōria i te Kōtiro i Whakakahore i a Koe

He mahi uaua, he mahi mōrearea hoki te wikitoria i te kōtiro i whakakahore i a koe i mua. He tino ngoikore koe nā te mea kua wehe kē ia i a koe. Kia mahara me tino tupato koe i tēnei wā. I tēnei wā, mā te nekehanga hē kotahi ka taea e ia te whakakore i a ia mō ake tonu atu i a koe. Whakapaua he wā ki te kia mohio koe ki a ia Heoi anō, whakaarohia ō taunekeneke ki a ia, pātai atu pea ki ōna hoa me ētahi atu (kaua e ahua whakamataku, ko te tikanga) mōna. Mena he hoa kōrua i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori, tirohia ōna kōtaha kia mōhio ai koe ki ana mea e pai ana, e kore hoki e pai ki a ia.

Ki te whakaaro koe ki te tuku karere anō ki a ia, kimihia te karere pai rawa atu ki tētahi kōtiro i whakakahore i a koe, me ētahi atu nekehanga rānei hei whakamātau māu. Me tono anō koe i a ia kia haere tahi, me tuku noa rānei he meme ki a ia ka tīmata anō te kōrero? Ka taea e koe te wikitoria i tētahi kōtiro i whakakahore i a koe? Me whakarite ō nekehanga ki tāu e whakaaro ana ka pai pea ki a ia, me kohikohi i te maia, ka tono anō i a ia kia haere tahi. Ka taea e ēnei huarahi e 8 te āwhina i a koe.

1. Kaua e tino aro ki te whakakorenga

Ko te mea tuatahi me mahi e koe ko te mahi i tō ake hinengaro. He mea whakaiti te whakakorenga, ā, ka pakaru te whakaaro ki a tātou anō. Tērā pea ka whakaaro koe kāore koe i te rite ki tāna e hiahia ana, kāore pea i te tino mōhio, kāore pea i te tino ātaahua, kāore i te tino motuhake, me ērā atu mea. Tērā pea ka whakapono koe koinei te take i whakakorengia ai koe. Hei tīmatanga, hurihia taua whakaaro. Kaua e whakaaro ko te whakakorenga he mea whaiaro.

Mehemea ka whakakahoretia tō tono e te kōtiro, kāore pea i pā ki a koe. Kia mahara, he pai ake te whakamātau, ā, kāore i angitu i te kore rawa e whakamātau. He pono, mehemea i mōhio koe ki te maha o ngā pātai a ngā tāne mō te whakahaere i te whakakorenga, ka mōhio koe ehara i te mea onge pērā i te ahua. Ahakoa ki tō whakaaro he mea mōu, whakaarohia pēnei: ​​nā te mea i whakakahoretia koe e ia, kua ruku hohonu koe ki roto i a koe anō, ā, ka mōhio koe ki ngā mea mōu ake, ā, ki te tika, mahihia.

Ehara i te mea he hinganga, engari he wheako tika pea tēnei me pā ki a koe kia whiwhi ai koe i te hihiri ki te whakaaroaro anō. Whakakorea tēnei hinengaro e hinga ai koe, ka hikoi ki tētahi e kī ana i te pai, me tētahi rautaki pakari hei toa i tāu kotiro. Ko tētahi o ngā ngā mea matua hei whakahaere i te whanaungatanga kia tino mōhio koe ko koe tōu ake āhua pai. Ko te wawe o tō tīmatanga ki te whakapai ake i a koe anō, ko te pai ake o tō whanaungatanga e whai ake nei.

Ina whakatau koe ki te whakamātau ki te wikitoria i tētahi kōtiro i whakakahore i a koe, he mea nui kia kaua e tīmata te whakapae i a koe anō mō ​​ngā mea katoa i puta. Tērā pea he maha ngā take i whakakahoretia ai koe, ā, ko ōu āwangawanga anake ka meinga koe kia whakapae i a koe anō mō ​​tēnā. Engari, arotahi ki ngā mea ka taea e koe te whakarerekē.

2. Me aha koe mēnā ka whakakahoretia koe e te kōtiro? Kia pono ki a koe anō

Me pēhea te whakautu ki te whakakorenga me te whakaute? Tuhia he rārangi o ngā mea pai katoa mōu. Tērā pea kāore koe i te tino pai te tinana, engari he tino mātau koe i te taha mātauranga. Tērā pea kei te whakaaro koe nā te rewharewha o tō mata i mate ai koe, engari he tangata atawhai, he tangata whakaaro nui koe e arohaina ana e te katoa.

Tērā pea ka kōrero pōturi koe, engari e mārama ana hoki koe ki ngā kare ā-roto o te tangata, ā, ka puta mai ngā mea pai rawa atu i roto i a rātou. Tērā pea he rau ngā mea tika mōu, ā, koinei te wā tika hei whakaae ki tēnā. Kia maumahara, i te nuinga o te wā, pērā i ngā tāne e hiahia ana ki ngā kōtiro ataahua, e hiahia ana hoki ngā kōtiro ki ngā mea whakamīharo. Kāore pea koe i te pērā, engari kei te rapu pea koe i tētahi e kōrero ana i te mea kotahi. reo aroha rite koe.

Kāore koe e hiahia ki te whakarerekē i tēnā. Ko tāu noa he whakamahana i a ia ki ngā mea kei a koe. Kaua rawa e whakarerekē i a koe nā te mea kua whakakahoretia koe e tetahi. Ki te aroha koe ki a koe anō, ka tukuna atu e koe te momo wiri tika ki te kōtiro. Ki te tino aroha koe ki a ia, ka hiahia koe kia pai te kōtiro ki a koe mō tō āhua, kaua ki te putanga rūpahu kua riro i a koe mōna.

Nō reira, kaua e kī pēnei i te, "I whakakahoretia ahau e tētahi kōtiro, ā, he mamae. Ka huri ahau i ahau anō, ka noho hei te momo tangata e rapuhia ana e ia", ngana pea ki te whakaae kei te rapu ia i tētahi mea tino rerekē i a koe. I tētahi atu taha, ki te kore ia i tino maioha ki ngā āhuatanga pai o koe, ka taea e koe te whakaatu atu i aua āhuatanga me te whakamātau anō i tō whai wāhitanga.

3. Ngāna kia tīmata hou

Ki te mea kei te ngana koe ki te wikitoria i te kotiro i whakakahore i a koe, ko te mea tuatahi, hoki whakamuri, ka tīmata hou. Me mahi ki te tango i ngā āhuatanga whakamā katoa e karapoti ana i tō whanaungatanga ki te kotiro i muri i tana whakakahore i a koe. Tīmata hei hoa i te wā tuarua. Kaua e ngana ki te tīmata i ngā tina me te aroha ki a ia. Kia mahara: ko te noho hei hoa-me-painga ehara te noho tahi me ia i te whāinga i konei.

Kia maumahara, hei hoa māna, kia kaua e aro nui atu, engari me noho hei hoa marino noa iho. Tērā pea ka ngaro i a ia taua manaaki nui mai i a koe, ā, ka whakaaro ia mēnā kua ngaro tō hiahia ki a ia. Whakamahia te whai wāhi tuarua ki te mōhio ki a ia, ki ana mea e pai ana ki a ia, ki ana mea e kino ana ki a ia, ki ngā mea e pouri ai ia, ki ana whāinga me ana moemoeā, me ana mea e wehi ana.

I tēnei wā, ka tūtohu mātou kia kaua e mārō atu i a ia mēnā ka taea, pērā i tō mahi tahi me tētahi hoa tāne. Engari kia ngahau, kia whakamere hoki, kia whakakatakata engari kia marino. Whai kia noho hei hoa pai mōna, kia ngana hoki ki te whakahoki i te aroha. Kōrero ki a ia, tuku āwhina, kia atawhai, kia katakata rānei, ā, kia mataara ki ngā tohu aroha ka tukuna pea e ia ki a koe. Mā te whakatata atu ki a ia, ka kitea e ia tō āhua tūturu. Ina riro mai i a koe tētahi kōtiro i whakakahore i a koe, ko te mea nui rawa atu ka taea e koe ko te mea kia mōhio ia he tino kaha koe ki te noho hei hoa mōna, ā, he tino pai hoki koe ki tēnā.

4. Tirohia tō huarahi

Ki te hiahia koe ki te mōhio me pēhea te huri i te whakakorenga mai i tētahi kōtiro, me whakaaroaro koe ki ngā mea i hē ai koe. Me aha koe mēnā ka whakakorengia koe e tētahi kōtiro engari e pai ana ki a koe? Kimihia te mea i tino kī ai ia, 'Kāo'. He tino whakahihi koe? He iti rānei tō whakaaro ki a koe anō? I tino miharo koe i kore ai ia e aro (kia mahara: ahakoa e hiahia ana ngā kōtiro ki te aro, e pai tonu ana rātou ki ngā tāne kāore e aro nui ana ki a rātou)?

I tata pukuriri koe? Ko koe anake te mea e pā ana ki a koe, i aro atu rānei koe ki a ia, ā, ko te mea nui, ko te whakarongo ki āna kōrero (he ka taea e te whakarongo te whakapai ake i tētahi whanaungatanga)? He āhuatanga i roto i te āhua o tāu karangatanga i a ia kia haere tahi, i ruarua ai ia mō tō hiahia? Whaia ngā mahi i mahia e koe, ka ngana ki te whakatau he aha te mea i hē pea.

Mena he hoa noa iho ō kōrua, me kōrero mārire atu ki a rāua kia mārama ai kōrua. Whakamaherehia tō huarahi, ā, whakaarohia he rautaki hei kukume i a ia, ā, i tēnei wā, me kī atu ki a koe anō ka pai ake koe. Heoi anō, kia maumahara, ki te mea he tata ake ēnei hoa ki a ia i a koe, ka tino kōrerotia e rātou ki a ia, nō reira kaua e nui rawa te uiui, kei puta noa mai he āhua whakamataku koe.

I mua i tō tuku karere ki ō hoa noa, "E mōhio ana ahau e pai ana ia ki ahau, engari i whakakahoretia ahau e ia, me aha ahau?", whakaarohia te mea pea i mua i tō whiwhinga whakautu, ka rongo te kotiro e pouri ana koe i tēnei mea mai i tōna hoa. Ahakoa rā, he mea pai tonu kia ngana ki te whiwhi i ngā māramatanga katoa e taea ana e koe. Ina whakaaro koe ki te aha me mahi ina whakakahoretia koe e te kotiro, me whakaaro koe ki ngā mea kāore i mahia e koe. Tērā pea i tumanako ia kia rerekē āu mahi, kia noho noa rānei hei hoa mōna i tētahi huarahi rerekē, arā, hei hoa pai?

5. Whakaute i a ia ahakoa te whakakorenga

Koinei te mea tino nui mō te whakatau i te whakakorenga. Whakahoutia tō mahara, me pēhea mēnā i homai e ia he take mō te whakakorenga i a koe? Me whakaute koe i tana whakatau. Engari ko te mea nui ake, kia whakaute koe i a ia ahakoa i muri mai. He āhuatanga tino ataahua te whakaute e arohia ana e ngā wāhine, ā, he mea anō hoki. tohu o te tangata māia. I te wā tonu ka whakahē koe, kua āraia kētia e ia ō whakaaro kia noho tahi me koe. Nō reira, kua ngaro kē ō tupono.

E kore e kore ka whakaaro ia he rangatira koe mēnā ka whakaute koe i tana whakatau, engari kaua hoki e whakaiti i a ia. Kaua e kōrero kino ki ō hoa, ki tētahi atu rānei, kaua e kī he tangata utu nui ia, kaua hoki e whakaiti noa i a ia nā te mea kua whakakahoretia koe e ia. Tērā pea kei te mamae tō whakapehapeha engari kaua e tukua kia whakaititia koe, kia tamarikitia rānei.

Ina whakakahoretia koe e te kōtiro mō tētahi atu tāne, tera pea ka uaua ki te kore e riri ki tāna whakatau, me te kore e tukua ō kare ā-roto kia kaha ake i a koe. Engari, nā te mea kāore he nui o ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi mō tēnā i roto i taua horopaki, ko te mea pai ko te whakaute, nā te mea koinei te mea iti rawa e tumanakohia ana mai i a koe. Ko tētahi atu huarahi hei whakaatu i te whakaute ko te whakarongo pono ki a ia me te kore e hiahia ki te akiaki i ō kare ā-roto ki a ia, me te whakaute hoki i te... waahi whaiaro e hiahia ana ia i a koe. Ahakoa kei te hiahia koe ki te wareware i tētahi kotiro i whakakahore i a koe, kāore te kōrero kino i a ia e pai mōu.

6. Ako ki te whakaae ki tana whakatau

Ko te taahiraa matua o te tukanga hei wikitoria i te kotiro i whakakahore i a koe ko te whakaae ki tana whakatau me te hinengaro tuwhera, ahakoa te mamae o tō ngākau. Mena ko tana whakautu he "kāo" i te wā tuarua, kaua e whakanuia ō kare ā-roto. Hoatu he wā ki a ia kia whakaaroaro anō mōu. Me whakaipoipo pea ia i ētahi tāngata i mua i tana mohio ki tō uara? Ko te hiahia nui pea i ētahi wā he mea whakamā noa iho i ngā kotiro. Nō reira, i muri i tana whakakahoretanga, whakaarohia te tuhituhi i tēnei ki a ia, koinei te karere pai rawa atu ki te kotiro i whakakahore i a koe. Mea atu,

"Āe, pai. E tino mārama ana ahau ki tāu whakatau. Ko te tumanako kāore koe i māharahara i tēnei. Ko taku tumanako anō hoki ka kitea e koe tāu e rapu nei, ā, ka taea tonu e tāua te noho hei hoa. He pai ki ahau te noho tahi me koe, ā, kāore rawa ahau e hiahia kia ngaro tēnā."

Titiro? Kāore i te pai te mahi? He māmā noa iho, he whakaute, engari he tino ngākau nui. Ko te nuinga o ngā īmēra ka tae mai ki a mātou i Bonobology nō ngā kōtiro e whakaaro ana he whakamataku aua tāne. Waihoki, ka tīmata rātou ki te whakaaro ki te whakarōpū i a koe hei "kaiwhakahaere" ā, ina tupu tēnā, ka wareware koe ki te wikitoria i tētahi kōtiro i whakakahore i a koe. Kaua e whakapataritari i a ia, kaua hoki e ahua hiahia rawa.

Kua waipuke te ipurangi i te āhua o te whakamīharo a ngā kiriata i te whaiwhai, ā, kua pahure aua rā. Whakautehia tana whakatau, kaua hoki e tono kia haere tahi anō ia. Kaua e whaiwhai i a ia, ki te pērā koe, kei te whakamutu koe i ō tupono katoa. Ina whakakahoretia koe e tetahi kotiro mō tētahi atu tāne, kaua e porangi me te hora i ngā kōrero pakiwaitara mōna, i tētahi atu mea wairangi rānei. Engari, whakaaetia tana whakatau, ā, whakaae ki tēnā. Kia tino atawhai koe.

7. Whakahāngaihia tō hiahia ki ōna hiahia

Ina whakatata atu anō koe ki te kōtiro, he mea nui kia whakamahia e koe ngā mōhiotanga katoa kua riro i a koe mōna. He tangata hihiri ia ki te whakapakari tinana? Haere ki te whare takaro ka tuku i ētahi whakaahua ki ngā pāpāho pāpori kia mōhio ai ia. He pai ki a ia ngā kiriata? Ngāna ki te tūhura i ana momo kiriata e pai ana ki a ia kia whai kōrero tonu ai kōrua, ā, mā tēnei ka taea e kōrua te miharo ake i a ia.

Ki te mea he tangata kai nui ia, me noho hei tohunga tunu kai, ā, me tono atu ki a ia kia haere tahi māua ki te hanga sushi i tētahi rā. Kua mārama koe ki te tikanga, tika? A te wā e whai ake nei ka tono atu koe i a ia kia haere tahi, ā, ki te whakaae ia, me mōhio koe ki ngā mea hei āwhina i a kōrua kia pai ai te noho tahi! Kimihia ōna hiahia, ngana ki te whakauru i aua mea ki roto i tō oranga, kia mōhio ai koe ki ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e ia. he tikanga te whakaipoipo ki te wahine.

Ina riro i a koe tētahi kōtiro i whakakahore i a koe, ko te mea pai rawa atu māu ko te āta mōhio ki a ia kia mōhio ai kōrua mēnā he hoa pai kōrua tetahi ki tetahi.

Te pānui e pā ana: 12 Ngā Tohu Kua Tae Te Wā Ki Te Mutu Te Whai I Te Kōtiro E Pai Ana Ki A Koe, Ka Hoki Whakamuri

8. Kia manawanui

Me whai tonu koe i tētahi kōtiro i whakakahore i a koe? Ae, ki te whakapono tonu koe he tūponotanga pakari tōu ki a ia. Engari kaua mā tuku karere takirua ia i ia wā kāore ia e whakautu mai mō te 30 meneti, mā te waea atu rānei ki a ia mō te wā roa. Hei whakaatu ki a ia ko koe te tangata tika māna, me pupuri tonu e koe te wairua. He tika te kī, "Ko te manawanui te kī ki te angitu." Me whakatō e koe ngā hua o te manawanui ki roto i a koe anō. Kāore e taea e koe te tumanako ka huri ngā kare ā-roto o tētahi ki a koe i roto i ngā wiki e rua. Nō reira, hoatu he wā ki a ia kia whakaaroaro ai, nā te mea pea i whakatata atu koe ki a ia, ā, i whakakahoretia koe e ia me te kore e mōhio ki ōna kare ā-roto pono.

E ai ki tā tētahi kōtiro i tuhituhi mai ki a mātou, "I ētahi wā, me mārama koe ki tēnā. Ehara ngā kōtiro i te kuware, ehara i te mea pērā i tō whakaaro. Kāore mātou e wareware i te wā i whakaatu mai ai tētahi tāne i tōna hiahia. Ki te whakakorea e mātou i te tuatahi, ko tōna tikanga 'Waiho ahau i nāianei, engari e kore ahau e wareware kei te hiahia koe'".

Me aha koe ina whakakahoretia koe e te kotiro?

E ai ki tā mātou kōrero, ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakaaro me aha koe ina whakakahoretia tō tono e te kōtiro. Tērā pea ka tino pouri koe, ā, kāore e taea e koe te whakaaro me pēhea te miharo i tētahi wahine Heoi anō, ehara i te mea miharo he mamae te whakakorenga, ā, ka pā kino ki a koe te kare ā-roto. Heoi anō, kāore tēnā e tino whai hua mōu. Ki te mea kei te pouri koe, me titiro tātou ki te aha me mahi ina whakakorea koe e te kōtiro.

1. Kaua e pouri ki a koe anō mēnā ka whakakahoretia tō tono e te kōtiro

"I whakakahoretia ahau e tetahi kotiro, ā, he mamae. Waiho atu ahau, kāore au e hiahia ki te kōrero ki tetahi." He mea mōhio tēnei? He tokomaha o tātou e whiriwhiri ana ki te noho pōuri i muri i te puta o tētahi mea kino, me te rapu i tētahi momo whakamārama mō te kore angitu mā te whakapae i a tātou anō. Ehara i te mea he kino noa iho tēnei huarahi whakaaro ki tō hauora hinengaro, engari tera pea ka noho pai koe ki te āhua o te ngakaukore.

Kia tino kaha rawa tō aroha ki a koe anō, ka uaua ake te puta atu i taua raruraru. E mōhio ana mātou he ngāwari ake te kōrero i te mahi, engari ngana ki te whakatika i a koe anō, ka whakawātea i te puehu. Ā, ki te mea kei te rapu āwhina koe i tētahi tohunga hinengaro, ko te rōpū kaiwhakaora hinengaro o Bonobology he pāwhiri atu.

2. Arotahi ki a koe anō, engari kaua e whakarerekē

E ai ki tā mātou i kōrero ai i mua, kaua e aro nui ki tēnei tangata kua whakakahore i a koe. Kaua rawa e whai kia huri i a koe mōna. Ki te mea kei te kī koe i tētahi mea pēnei i te, "E mōhio ana ahau e pai ana ia ki ahau engari i whakakahoretia ahau e ia," ngana pea ki te hanga ake i tō tuakiri, kia taea ai e koe te whakaatu i ngā mea pai katoa mōu i te mutunga.

3. Kia mārama ki ana take

Kaua e tohe tonu ki te whakatenatena i a ia kia noho tahi me koe, whakaarohia te take kāore ia e hiahia ana. He maha ngā take mō tēnei, ā, tera pea he tino tika, engari kāore anō kia whakaarohia e koe. Me aha koe mēnā ka whakakahoretia koe e te kōtiro? Kaua e haere tonu ki tōna whare me te pouaka pupuhi, ka ngana ki te mahi i tētahi mea. tohu nui Hei whakahoki mai i a ia, whakaarohia ana kōwhiringa.

Ehara te ao i te kiriata, ā, me whakaute ngā kōwhiringa a te tangata. Nō reira, me atawhai, hoatu ki a ia te wāhi e hiahiatia ana e ia. Ahakoa te pouri pea ki te kore e taea te tuku karere kuputuhi ki a ia, te noho rānei ki roto i tōna ao, me atawhai koe.

4. Korero ki nga tangata

Kōrero ki te hunga e aroha pono ana ki a koe, me whakarite rānei i tētahi wā whakaora hinengaro māu. Kaua e whakaaroaro mō tāu mahi, mō tāu mahi e whai ake nei, me pēhea rānei e taea ai e koe te kukume i tōna aro ki ngā pāpāho pāpori — he pai ake pea mēnā ka whakamātau koe i tētahi huarahi e whai hua ake ana ki a koe. Haere ki te whakaora hinengaro, haere ki te pō kōrerorero me ō hoa, karanga noa rānei i tō tuahine ki te inu i tētahi pō, ka kōrero ki a ia mō ngā mea i tupu. Ka taea e tēnei te āwhina nui i a koe ki te mōhio kei te arohaina koe, ā, ka pai koe.

5. Haere tonu

Kia oti ngā mea katoa, me wareware noa koe i tētahi kotiro i whakakahore i a koe. Ina koa mēnā ka whakakahoretia koe mō te wā tuarua, mēnā rānei kua kī kāo ia i te wā tuatahi, ko te mea pai ko te neke atu. Kaua e uru ki ana DM i ngā wā katoa, ā, kaua rawa e whakaaro ko te tikanga o te "kāo" he "whakamātautau kaha ake".

Ko te kāo, he kāo tonu, ā, tera pea ka pai tēnei mōu. Kaua e ngākau pouri mō tēnei huringa o ngā kaupapa, engari tirohia hei whai wāhitanga ki te whakaaroaro me te tipu. Ehara tēnei i te mutunga o te ao.

Ina toa koe i tētahi kōtiro i whakakahore i a koe, i te tīmatanga, me whakaatu koe i a koe anō, me whakaatu i ō āhuatanga pai rawa atu, me te whiwhi i tana whakawhirinaki. Taria te wā tika hei whakatata atu anō ki te aroha o tōu ao. Heoi, ki te kore tonu koe e whai i a ia, kaua e ngakaukore, engari me aro atu ki te hinganga me te pakeke. Kei reira tonu te kōtiro e whai ake nei, ā, muri iho ko te kōtiro e whai ake nei. Kei reira tētahi tangata hei whakahoki mai i ō kare ā-roto me te harikoa me te pono. Nō reira, me whawhai tonu, me whakamātau i tō waimarie i roto i te petipeti o te aroha.

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8 Ngā Huarahi Hei Noho Mawehe Atu I Te Aroha, Hei Ārai I Te Mamae

Āta karohia ngā whakaaro whakamomori ina pāngia koe e te whakakorenga i roto i te aroha

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.