Kumvetsetsa The Childfree By Choice Movement 

Ndilibe mwana ndipo sindine kholo. Ndine wopanda mwana mwa kusankha. Anthu ena amachitcha kuti kusabereka mwaufulu. Ngakhale kuti ambiri ngati ine anasankha mawu oti “wopanda ana” chifukwa chakuti “wopanda ana” amabweretsa lingaliro la “kuchepa” kapena kusowa kanthu. Ndikoyenera kumangiriza malingaliro athu ndi mawu akuti ufulu chifukwa chinali chosankha kukhala wopanda mwana. Anthu ngati ine amakonda moyo wopanda mwana.

Ndili ndi banja. Banja langa ndi mnzanga, amphaka anga, mlongo wanga, makolo anga, makolo a mwamuna wanga, azichimwene ake. Tikukhala m'mizinda yosiyana koma ndife, banja, kuthamangira kupulumutsa wina ndi mzake pakafunika, kukonza ndondomeko zathu kuti tithe kukhala ndi nthawi yabwino ndi wina ndi mzake. Ndilinso ndi anzanga apamtima ochepa amene amandiona ngati achibale.

Koma ngati mukutanthauza "gulu la anthu okhala pansi pa denga limodzi", banja langa ndi mwamuna wanga, amphaka anga awiri, ndi ine. Timasamalirana. Timakonzekera limodzi zam'tsogolo. Tili ndi zolinga zamagulu ndi maloto. Inshuwaransi yaumoyo - dongosolo la banja. Nthawi zina timakhumudwitsana, timadandaula, timathetsa madandaulowo, timasintha, timadzipereka, timaseka, timakonda. Ili ndi banja langa.

Popanda mwana wa munthu m’nyumba, anthu ambiri amafunsa kuti, “Kodi mungakonze liti kukhala ndi ana? Banja langa lili pomwe pano. Pele amphaka anga, ine ndi mwamuna wanga tinali aŵiri a m’banja limenelo. Ndisanakwatire ndipo ndinkakhala ndekha mumzinda umene ndinkagwira ntchito, banja langa linali la ine ndekha. Banja lotuluka m’banja lopanda ana likadali banja.

Zifukwa Zopanda Mwana - Chifukwa Chiyani Childfree Mwa Kusankha?

Ine, mwadala, ndinasankha kulankhula za ufulu wanga wa mwana mu mawonekedwe a "I", osati m'malo mwa mnzanga. Choyamba, kukakhala kupanda chilungamo kulankhula m’malo mwake. Ngakhale, amanditsimikizira kuti amamva chimodzimodzi ndi ine, ndipo ndimamukhulupirira. Koma chachiwiri, ndipo chofunika kwambiri, amuna samafunsidwa funsoli kangapo, kapena osati monga momwe amachitira akazi. Likayankhidwa kwa amuna, ndi funso lodzala ndi chidwi, ndipo nthawi zina nkhawa. Koma tikayankhidwa kwa akazi, funso ili pakukonda kwake kwachiweruzo komanso kudodometsa kwathunthu pa "kulimba mtima" kwake kuti aganize mosiyana.

Munthu aliyense amene ali ndi ufulu wosankha kukhala ndi ana angakhale ndi zifukwa zake zokhalira wopanda ana kapena amakonda kukhala opanda mwana. Gulu lopanda ufulu wosankha kukhala ndi ana limatsogoleredwa ndi anthu omwe angaone kuti n'kopanda phindu kukhala ndi ana m'dziko lomwe likuoneka kuti likugwa. Ena angaone kuti ndi mlandu kubweretsa mwana m'dziko lotere, pazifukwa zachilengedwe kapena zandale, kapena chimodzi mwa izo.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Nayi Mndandanda wa Njira Zothanirana ndi Kupsinjika kwa Anthu Kuti Mukhale ndi Mimba

Anthu ena amasankha kusakhala ndi ana chifukwa amaganiza kuti sali oyenerera kukhala nawo. Mwa kusakwanira, angatanthauze, osakonzeka, osapeza kuti ali ndi ndalama zokwanira kusamalira munthu wina. Angatanthauzenso kuti sakupeza thanzi lawo lakuthupi kapena lamaganizo kukhala lothandiza kukhala ndi mwana.

Winawake sangamve mwa iwo chikhumbo chokhala ndi mwana. Kwa ambiri, lingaliro ili la kungosamva ngati ndizovuta kulingalira chifukwa malingaliro athu amaphunzitsidwa kuyang'ana kukula kwa munthu payekha komanso gulu mokhazikika. Chokani panjira iyi ndipo imasokoneza iwo omwe akuyang'ana zomwe mwasankha kunja.

Ena safuna kubereka mwana koma amakonzekera kulera ngati angadzamve kuti ndi okonzeka kutero m’tsogolo. Mkangano wawo- Pali ana ambiri osasamalidwa padziko lapansi omwe amafunikira makolo. Kuti pali ambiri awa onyalanyazidwa, osiyidwa, ana padziko lapansi, ndi umboni mwa iwo wokha, kuti anthu amabala ana nthawi zonse pamene iwo anali asanakonzekere izo.

Kuyankha Mafunso Okhudza Munthu Wopanda Mwana

Tangoganizirani nkhani ya kukambirana pakati pa munthu amene alibe ana mwa kusankha ndi munthu wina aliyense. Munthu ameneyo wopanda ana akhale ine, ndipo munthu winayo B. B akuti, “Kodi ukukonzekera kukhala ndi mwana liti?” Ine ndikuti, “Sindikukonzekera kukhala ndi mwana.” B akuti, “Ayi! Liti? Nthawi ikupita. Nthawi ikutha.” Ine ndikuti, “Sindikufuna mwana.” B akuti, “Koma zidzachedwa kwambiri, pamene udzamufuna mtsogolo.” Ine ndikuti, “Mwachedwa kwambiri chifukwa chiyani? Sindikufuna mwana.” B akuti, “Koma… mudzasintha maganizo anu kenako mudzanong’oneza bondo.” Ine ndikuti, “Mwina ndidzatero. Mwina sinditero. Mwina mudzanong’oneza bondo kukhala ndi mwana. Mwina simudzatero.” B akuti, “Koma…?”

Tonsefe tili ndi zokhumba, zokonda komanso kuthekera kopanga chisankho. Anthu ena amakonda kuwerenga, ena sakonda. Ena a ife timadzimva kuti ndife abwino pa ntchito zomwe timagwira. Enafe timadana ndi ntchito zathu. Sikuti aliyense amafuna kukhala dokotala. Sikuti aliyense amakonda kuphika. Sikuti aliyense amafuna kukhala kholo - wina akhoza, wina sangatero.

Ndikukhulupirira kuti kukhala ndi mwana kuyenera kuyambitsidwa ndi chilakolako kapena chikhumbo chofuna kukhala ndi mwana, osati kungoganiza kuti ndiyo njira yokhayo yokhalira ndi mwana. Kusankha kukhala ndi mwana kuyenera kukhala chinthu chodziwikiratu komanso choganizira, monga kusankha kusabereka. Kuyenera kukhala chifukwa cha ubale wodziwa bwino ndi mnzanu.

Simukuyenera kukhala ndi mwana. Mwasankha kutero. Momwemonso mumasankha kusatero!

Ziribe kanthu, apa pali mafunso omwe anthu omwe amakhala opanda ana mwa kusankha nthawi zambiri amakumana nawo.

"Nanga bwanji chibadwa chanu cha amayi?"

Anthu ambiri amapereka mfundo ya "chibadwa cha amayi". Kuti mkazi aliyense amakhala ndi chikhumbo chachibadwa mwa iye chokhala mayi. M'buku lake, Childfree by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family and Creating a New Age of Independence , Dr Amy Blackstone akufotokoza momwe buku la Sage Publishing la mabuku atatu lonena za umayi silinenapo chilichonse chokhudza chibadwa cha amayi. Amati chibadwa cha amayi ndi chinthu chongopeka chabe cha malingaliro athu achikhalidwe, kapangidwe ka chikhalidwe.

Chilakolako cha amayi, pophunzira za ufumu wa nyama, chimatanthauza chibadwa chomwe mayi (osati mkazi) ali nacho kuti alere ndi kuteteza mwana wake, ndipo sindikukana. Komabe, kapangidwe ka anthu kamalowa m'malo mwa mayi ndi mkazi ndipo kamalimbikitsa kuti mkazi aliyense akhale ndi chibadwa kuti akhale mayi. Kapangidwe kameneka cholinga chake ndi kukonza ntchito yobereka m'nyumba ndi kunja kwa nyumba. Ndicho cholinga cha "maudindo a amuna ndi akazi" . Amatikakamiza kudziwa malo athu padziko lapansi ndipo amatiletsa kutsutsa momwe zinthu zilili panopa.

“Kodi sukufuna kutsogolera banja lako?”

Anthu ena amakamba za kufunika kwa kutsatizana kwa mzere wa banja lanu, cholowa, kukulitsa majini anu. Mwamwano kwambiri, ndimadzifunsa ndekha, "Ndiwe chiyani, Alexander, The Great?" Koma sindikunena. M'malo mwake, ndimakonda kufotokozera anthu oterowo nkhani ya Mfumukazi Elizabeth Woyamba, yemwe adakhalabe wopanda mwana mwa kusankha. Akanatha kupewa kukhala ndi ana panthawiyo mwa kuonetsetsa kuti sakukwatiwa.

Nthawi ya Mfumukazi Elizabeth, yomwe imadziwika kuti Era ya Elizabethan, akatswiri a mbiri yakale amaitcha kwambiri Nyengo ya Golide, yomwe imadziwika ndi Kubadwanso kwa Chingerezi, kukula kwa zaluso, mabuku, ndi ndakatulo, koma makamaka za zisudzo (Kumbukirani William Shakespeare). Kuchokera pamalingaliro andale, inali nthawi yofufuza ndi kukulitsa Chingerezi komanso kukula kwa Chiprotestanti. Umayi kapena ntchito - adasankha yachiwiri ndipo adapereka chithandizo chachikulu kwa anthu.

Zonsezi, sizingakhale zovuta kunena kuti zomwe Mfumukazi Elizabeti adasiya ndi cholowa. Ndipo izi ndi zomwe tiyenera kuyang'ana kwambiri. Zomwe munthu amasiya ziyenera kuwonedwa mwachidwi. Cholinga chake chikhale pa kukhala ndi cholowa osati cholowa chobadwa nacho.

Ngati kufunikira kwa nthawi yathu kumafuna kukhazikika, kukhazikika, kukonzanso chilengedwe, chifukwa cha mkangano, kuchuluka ndi zomwe mumasiya m'mbuyo zidzatchedwa "carbon footprint". Makamaka mu nthawi ngati "tsopano", ndikumva, tiyenera kusamala kwambiri za cholowa chomwe timasiya mu mawonekedwe a ntchito yomwe timachita, chikoka chomwe tili nacho, komanso kusiyana komwe timapanga.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zolakwa Zoyipa Kwambiri Zokhudza Kulera Ana Zomwe Timachita Nthawi Zonse Ndipo Tiyenera Kuzikonza Nthawi Yomweyo

“Mudzanong’oneza bondo kuti simudzakhalanso ndi ana pambuyo pake!”

"Mudzanong'oneza bondo kuti simudzakhalanso ndi ana pambuyo pake." Mfundo ina yomwe ndikufuna kuyikamba. Kunong'oneza bondo ndikokhazikika, ndipo Mulungu, Wamphamvuyonse, Mwiniwake, sangayerekeze kuyika chitsimikiziro ku mawu ngati chisoni. Ndi bwino kunena kuti, “Mudzanong’oneza bondo pambuyo pake.” Yankho langa likhoza kukhala “Inde, ndikhoza, koma monga momwe mungadandaule ndi kukhala ndi mwana.” Inde, akazi ambiri amavomereza mwamseri, kapena mosadziwika, ochepa poyera, kuti amanong’oneza bondo pokhala ndi mwana.

Kuika moyo pachiswe ndi chisankho chaumwini. Anthu ambiri opanda ana amakhulupirira kuti chisoni chosakhala ndi ana chili ndi zotsatirapo zochepa kwambiri kuposa chisoni chokhala ndi mwana. Monga momwe upangiri wabwino umanenera - kuganizira mndandanda wautali wa zinthu zoti mukambirane musanakwatirane komanso musanabereke - mabanja ambiri opanda ana aganizira bwino za izi. Ali okonzeka kwambiri kudandaula kulikonse kuposa momwe amayamikirira.

"The biological wotchi ikupita!"

Komabe, sindichedwa pa chinthu chimene sindichifuna. Lolani kuti koloko ichoke! Sichikuwoneka chanzeru kukhala ndi chinthu chomwe mukutsimikiza kuti simuchifuna, kuopa kuti mutha, mungafune, mawa. Makamaka ngati chinthucho ndi munthu.

Komanso, anthu amene ali ndi ufulu wosankha ali ndi njira zina zokwaniritsira chikhumbo chofuna kukhala ndi mwana, kulera mwana, kuchirikiza mwana, ngati chikhumbo chimenecho chingabuka m’tsogolo. Kutengera, kulimbikitsa, kuthandizira ndi zina mwazosankha zabwino zothetsa chikhumbo chofuna kukhala wothandiza pakukula kwa mitundu yathu kapena ubwino wake.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Mfundo 7 Zofunikira Pakudzipereka Muukwati

“Mudzatani muukalamba wanu?”

Sikuti ndi kudzikonda kokha komanso nkhanza kubweretsa mwana amene kulibe, kuti mukhale ndi wina woti azikusamalirani muukalamba wanu. Mtundu woterewu wolemetsa wamalingaliro pamunthu, womwe umayenera kubweza ngongole za kholo lawo, kaŵirikaŵiri amachitidwa pa kama wa ochiritsa.

Ndikoyenera kukhala ndi mapulani abwinoko, othandiza kwambiri okhudza ukalamba. Khalani ndi maubwenzi abwino. Ikani nthawi ndi khama pa maphunziro azachuma ndikuwongolera ndalama zanu. Ikani patsogolo thanzi labwino lamalingaliro ndi thupi! Khalani ndi dongosolo lodzidalira pazadzidzi.

"Kodi mumadana ndi ana?"

Ana ndi apadera, anthu ovuta ndipo sayenera kukhala gulu limodzi. Iwo sali mulu wa maluwa kapena cholepheretsa mphatso chapamwamba chomwe munthu ayenera kukonda monga "gulu" chifukwa, chabwino, "chomwe sichiyenera kukonda?"

Kodi sindimakonda ana? Ayi, sindikutero. Momwemo sindimaganiza kuti sindimakonda anthu onse akuluakulu. Ndimafikira anthu ndikulingalira kuti ndingawakonde. Koma anthu ena ndimawakonda kwambiri kuposa enawo. Ena ndimalekerera. Ena sinditero. Momwemonso ndi ana.

“Ndiwe wodzikonda!”

sindine wodzikonda. Ngati zili choncho, ndikuda nkhawa ndi mmene ana amamvera mumtima, m’maganizo ndi m’thupi. Ichi ndichifukwa chake ndimakhulupirira kuti ana ayenera kubadwa mwa kulingalira kwakukulu, kudzipenda ndi kudzipenda ndi makolo, m'malo mongoganiza mopanda kulingalira kuti ndiyo njira yokhayo yokhalira. Kuchokera m'lingaliro limenelo, kusuntha kwamwana mwachisankho kumakhala kovomerezeka kwambiri.

Ngati wina angayang'ane mafunso omwe ali pamndandandawu, aliyense wa iwo ndi wodzikonda kwambiri. M'malo mwake, tengani mafunso aliwonse oti "ndiyenera kukhala ndi mwana", zinthu zambiri zomwe zili pamndandandawu ndi za inu nokha. Ndi nkhawa za momwe timamvera, zokhumba zathu, ziyembekezo za anthu, mantha athu am'tsogolo, zolakwa zathu ndi zodandaula. Palibe mafunso omwe ali ndi chochita ndi mwanayo.

Zoona zake n’zakuti, ngati munthu amadzidera nkhawa yekha za ubwino wa mwana amene adzabadwe, ayenera kupenda zimene zili pakati pa ufulu wa mwana chifukwa chotanganidwa kwambiri. Palibe cholakwika kudzifunsa mafunso amenewa kapena kudzidera nkhawa. Ndi chizindikiro cha kumvetsa kukula kwa udindo wolera mwana.

Ibibazo

Maganizo Final

Ndili ndi zokumbukira kuyambira ndili mwana, zosewera ulendo wodutsa mphepo yamkuntho yongopeka, ndikuteteza phukusi laling'ono m'manja mwanga lomwe linali chidole changa, ndi ngodya ya sari yokhazikika yomwe ndinkapanga ndi shawl ya amayi anga. Koma sindikudziwa ngati anali mwana wanga wamkazi wongopeka ndipo ine ndinali mayi ake. Nkhani imeneyo inali yokhudza ine ndekha. Unali ulendo womwe ndinali nawo, ndipo paulendo umenewo chidole changa nthawi zina chinkalowa m'malo mwa galu. Ine ndi galu wanga, tikupeza njira yodutsa mphepo yamkuntho yamchenga. Ndikukumbukiranso kuyenda mumphepo yamkunthoyo monga mtsogoleri wa fuko longopeka, ndikuwawonetsa njira.

Fuko limenelo linali banja langa. Zomwe ndimapanga kuchokera m'makumbukiro awa akulera chidole, kutsogolera fuko sikuti ndimafuna kukhala mayi, koma kuti nthawi zonse ndinali ndi chibadwa cha kulera, kuteteza ndi kutsogolera. Ndimayesetsa kuchita zimenezo mmene ndingathere lerolino, m’macheza anga, ndi anzanga ndi banja langa.

Momwe Moyo Wokometsera Eco ungakhudzire Moyo Wanu Wachibwenzi

10 Malingaliro Achikondi Kwa Makolo

Chifukwa Chimene Ndinaganiza Zopita Kukwatiwa Kapena Kutengedwa Ubwana Ngakhale Ndimatha Kubereka

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

Onani Ndondomeko Yathu Yolembera

Kumanani ndi Bungwe Lathu Lowunika

Gawani Ndemanga

Ndemanga zanu ndi zotani?

×

zothandiza Nenani Cholakwika Zina

kugonjera