Makhalidwe 5 A Ubale Wosamala Ndi Wokondedwa Wanu

Kufalitsa chikondi

Chikondi ndi mbalame yachilendo. Zonse zimabwera mwachibadwa kwa ife ndipo zimakhala zovuta kuzimvetsa kwathunthu. N'chimodzimodzinso ndi maubwenzi - maubwenzi osadziwika, monga omwe ali ndi okwera nawo paulendo wautali wa sitima, ndi maubwenzi abwino, monga omwe ali ndi bwenzi lanu lamoyo.

Ife, tonse, mwachibadwa timapanga maubwenzi ndi anthu otizungulira, komanso timathera zaka zambiri tikuyesera kuti tipeze chifukwa chake kuli kovuta kumvetsetsa wina ndi kumveka. Pachimake, chikondi ndi chosavuta. Koma tiyenera kuphunzira kudzikonda tokha komanso kukonda ena. Pamene mukulimbana ndi munthu, kodi muyenera kutenga mbali yanu kapena mutenge mbali yake? Kodi muyenera kudzikonda nokha kapena muyenera kuwakonda? Kodi muyenera kukhala odziyimira pawokha kapena muyenera kulumikizana?

Chikondi ndi moyo n'zodzala ndi zotsutsana zoterozo. Kodi nthawi zambiri mumadabwa ndi mafunso awa? Kodi mumasangalala kufunafuna mayankho? Ndizodziwikiratu izi, kapena kufuna dala kukhala ndi moyo wokhutiritsa ndi mnzanu ndiye mwala wapangodya womanga ubale wozindikira.

Kodi Conscious Relationship Ndi Chiyani?

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Ndikosavuta kumvetsetsa maubwenzi ozindikira ngati ife, kwa mphindi imodzi, tiyang'ana mawu oti "chidziwitso". Kukhala wozindikira ndiko kukhala maso komanso kuzindikira. Amatanthauzanso kukhala ndi chidziwitso cha chinthu. Kumatanthauza kupanga chosankha.

Maubale ozindikira ndi omwewo! Ndi maubale opangidwa mwadala. Mu chikondi chozindikira, okondedwa amasankha mwanzeru kupanga a mgwirizano wopindulitsa. Mgwirizanowu uyenera kukhala wothandiza kwa onse awiri monga gawo limodzi komanso kwa aliyense payekhapayekha.

Kwa zaka zambiri, chikhalidwe ndi cholinga cha maubwenzi zasintha kwambiri. Mwachitsanzo, ziyembekezo zathu za ukwati ndi mayanjano odzipereka zawonjezeka mosiyanasiyana. Komwe kale, kufunikira kwa munthu wochokera muukwati kunali kokha ku zofunika zofunika monga chakudya, pogona, chitetezo, chitetezo, zosowa zakuthupi ndi chivomerezo cha anthu. Tsopano, zomwe timafuna kuchokera ku maubwenzi athu ndi zambiri.

Kuti timvetse zomwe zimatipangitsa kupita, zomwe zimatipangitsa kuchitapo kanthu, katswiri wa zamaganizo wa ku America, Abraham Maslow, adapanga zomwe zimatchedwa utsogoleri wa zosowa za munthu payekha. Anayika zosowa zathu zofunika monga chakudya ndi pogona pansi pa piramidi ndipo adakwera piramidi ndi zambiri. zosowa zam'maganizo monga chikondi, ubwenzi, ulemu, umwini.

Pachimake cha piramidi iyi pamakhala kufunikira kokwaniritsa "kudziwonetsera". Ichi ndi nsonga yapamwamba kwambiri pakukula kwa munthu, yodziwika ndi chikhumbo chofuna kukwaniritsa zomwe angathe.

Maubale ozindikira ndi omwe samangokulolani kuti mukwaniritse zosowa zanu zapamwamba, amakulimbikitsani ndikukuthandizani kuti mukhale munthu wabwino kwambiri. Amakulimbikitsani kuti nthawi zonse mukwaniritse zosowa zanu zauzimu zapamwamba ndikukulolani kuti mukule ndikuwala ngati munthu payekha. Inde, ndi zophweka!

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Muli mu Ubale Kapena Mgwirizano? 6 Kusiyanasiyana kotchulidwa

Kodi Makhalidwe a Ubale Wozindikira Ndi Chiyani?

Kulankhula za zotsutsana m'moyo, maubwenzi ozindikira onse ndi osavuta kumvetsetsa komanso ochulukirapo kuti agwire m'mawu ochepa. Monga maziko, zomwe takambiranazi, ndizomwe zimakopa mzimu wa maubwenzi ozindikira. Koma palinso zambiri zomwe zingafotokoze momwe ubale wozindikira umawonekera, momwe mungadziwire ndikukulitsa umodzi ndi makhalidwe ake.

1. Maubale ozindikira ndi dala

Chisankho chilichonse muubwenzi wozindikira ndi dala. Kukonda ndi dala. Monga kumva mkwiyo kapena kukhumudwa. Ku fotokozani zakukhosi kwanu kapena madandaulo ndi mwadala monga kuchita kukhala chete. Kubwera pamodzi pachisankho ndi mwadala monga kukhala ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana. Kukulitsa chinthu pamodzi ndi dala monga kukhala ndi mapulojekiti aumwini.

Mosiyana ndi zimenezi, anthu aŵiri amakhala pamodzi muubwenzi wosadziŵa chifukwa chosankha kukhala pamodzi koma chifukwa cholephera kukhala pamodzi. Moyo mu ubale wosazindikira ndi wongochita. Mavuto nthawi zambiri amakankhidwa pansi pa kapeti. Moyo umangokhala. Palibe lingaliro ladala kapena khama lomwe limapangidwa kuti timvetsetse cholinga cha maubwenzi.

Tengani, Sam ndi Elisa. Iwo akhala m’banja kwa zaka 14. Amadzuka ndikulowa mumayendedwe a moyo wawo. Onse pamodzi ndi padera. Palibe mwa iwo amene akubera mnzake. Onse amakonda ana awo awiri. Ndipo amakhulupirira moona mtima kuti amakondananso.

Koma nthawi zambiri sadziwa kuti wina ndi mnzake akulimbana ndi moyo watsiku ndi tsiku. Sam sanamuuze Elisa za mavuto azamanthu akumva masiku ano. Sanamuuze kuti wayamba kudziona kuti ndi wosakongola. Elisa sanapeze mpata womuuza kuti nayenso akumva chimodzimodzi. Kuti nayenso akumva kuyimilira kuntchito. Ndipo nthawizina amafuna kukhala ndi chipinda chake chomwe, desiki, ndicho chake chokha.

Muubwenzi wozindikira, Sam ndi Elisa akadatenga nthawi kuti ayambe kuyika malingaliro awo pachilichonse. Cholinga chofuna kukhala osangalala kwambiri komanso kukwaniritsidwa muubwenzi wawo chikadawapangitsa kuti azikhala ndi nthawi yolankhulana zokhumbazi. Akadachitapo kanthu limodzi kuti apatsane chilimbikitso chomwe amafunikira komanso malo othetsera mavutowa.

Kuzindikira ndi kuzindikira zomwe zikugwira ntchito ndi zomwe sizikuyenda muubwenzi ndiyeno kutenga njira zadala zopezera chisangalalo ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zodziwika bwino za ubale wozindikira.

chikondi chozindikira — Kutenga masitepe mwadala kuti mukhale osangalala ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zodziwika bwino za ubale wozindikira

2. Maubale ozindikira amakhala okhazikika pakukula

Maubwenzi onse amalembedwa ndi zovuta. Aliyense wa ife amabwera ndi katundu. Tili ndi zoyambitsa zathu, njira zathu zothanirana ndi mikangano, ndi malingaliro athu odziteteza. Ichi ndichifukwa chake tonse timakumana ndi mikangano mosiyana. Izi zimabweretsa mikangano mu maubwenzi.

Koma ndi mnzanu wozindikira yekha amene amayang'ana zovuta ndikuziwona ngati mwayi wakukula. Ubale wozindikira sukhala wopanda mikangano. Ili ndi malingaliro akukula pakati pake. Kukula muubwenzi ndiko kufuna kuphunzira kukhala bwino. Wokondedwa wozindikira amawona zovuta ngati kuyitanira kuti tisonkhane, kugwirira ntchito limodzi ndikuthetsa mavuto pamodzi. Amayembekezera zovuta ngati njira zakukula mu ubale. Mwachitsanzo, chitsanzo cha kusagwirizana kwachuma ndi chisonyezo chofuna maphunziro ochulukirapo azachuma pamodzi ngati banja ndikufika pazachuma chimodzi. Ukhoza kukhala mwayi wakukula.

Kulankhula za kukula, okondedwa mu chikondi chozindikira amalimbikitsanso wina ndi mzake kuti akhale ndi moyo wokhutiritsa, kaya tanthauzo lake lingakhale kwa munthu aliyense. Kwa wina, kungakhale kuwerenga bwino kapena kutenga nthawi yochita nawo ntchito yothandiza anthu. Kwa ena, zitha kukhala zabwinoko pazokonda zakale. Kwa wina, kungakhale kufuna kugwira ntchito molimbika kuti akwezedwe. Kwa munthu winanso, kungakhale kukonza msana wosachiritsika.

Mfundo ndi yakuti, monga aliyense payekha, tonsefe timafunitsitsa kukwaniritsa zomwe tingathe. Kukhala ndi moyo wabwino, kapena kukhala bwino pa chinachake. Ubale wozindikira umapatsa wokondedwa aliyense chilimbikitso, ndi malo oti akule.

Komabe, kukhala ndi malingaliro akukula sikutanthauza kutsindika kwambiri. Kukankhana ndi kukankhidwa kungakhale kutopa. Kukhala ndi malo oti mukhale omasuka komanso kukhala nokha ndikofunikiranso chimodzimodzi. Kukula mu ubale kumachitika organically, popanda kufunikira kuti mnzanuyo kapena inu nokha omasuka. Dziwani zamalingaliro anu ndipo muyenera kukhala bwino!

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 9 Zochitira Kusamala Paubwenzi Wapamtima

3. Udindo waukulu - Wokondedwa amadzitengera yekha udindo

Udindo waukulu umatanthauza kutenga udindo pa zomwe inu muli, zomwe mumachita, zomwe zimachitidwa kwa inu, ndi zomwe zimachitidwa chifukwa cha inu. Zimangotanthauza kutenga udindo wa 100% nokha.

Mu ubale wozindikira, mumatenga zomwe mukufuna komanso zomwe mukufuna. Simumadzudzula ena chifukwa cha zofooka m'moyo wanu, m'malo mwake phunzirani momwe udindo ungatengedwere muubwenzi munjira zosiyanasiyana. Komabe, izi siziyenera kuganiziridwa molakwika ngati kusabwera kusagwirizana kapena kusayika patsogolo zosowa za mnzanu mukamawona kuti ndizofunikira.

Taganizirani za Dani ndi Jo. Iwo anakhumudwa muukwati wawo ndipo anapita kwa dokotala. Kwa dokotala, Dani ndi Jo onse adadandaula za kudzimana komwe aliyense wa iwo anali kupereka kaamba ka banja. Dani adati sanapezenso nthawi yoyenda yekha monga momwe amachitira moyo wake wonse chifukwa amapangira chakudya cham'mawa cha ana.

Jo ananenanso zofanana ndi zimenezi ponena za kusapeza nthawi yokwanira yocheza naye. Ndi momwe samapita kutchuthi chomwe akufuna. Kapena kuti anasiya bwanji kukwezedwa pantchito chifukwa zikanafuna kuti akhale kutali ndi banja lake.

Mothandizidwa ndi uphungu, Dani ndi Jo anaona kuti sanali kutenga udindo pa zosowa zawo. Sing'angayo adawapangitsa kuwona kuti ndi iwo okha omwe amadziwa zomwe sizingakambirane kwa iwo, komanso zomwe samadandaula kusiya kapena kusintha chifukwa cha chikondi cha mnzawo. Zinawalola kuti azifunsana zinthu zomwe zinali zofunika kwambiri kwa iwo.

Jo sanadziwe kuti Dani amafunikira kuyenda kwambiri. Dani adanena kuti alibe nazo ntchito zopita kutchuthi ndipo samadziwa kuti zinali zofunika bwanji kwa Jo. Jo ananena kuti amanyadira kwambiri ntchito imene anaipereka kuti akhale bambo wabwino.

Zonsezi, kutenga udindo kunalola kuti Dani ndi Jo akhale dala ndi zisankho zomwe anali kupanga. Ngati china chake chinali chosakanjanitsika, chimawalola kuti achigoneke patsogolo pa mnzakeyo. Pamodzi atha kubwera ndi momwe angachitire. Ndipo ngati pali chinachake chimene mmodzi wa iwo anali kupereka nsembe kaamba ka ubwino wa ubwenzi kapena chikondi cha mnzawo, izo zimawalola iwo kutenga umwini wa chisankhocho, popanda kudzimva ngati wozunzidwa.

4. Maubale ozindikira amapereka mwayi wodzilamulira

Mofanana ndi ma dichotomies onse m'moyo ndi maubwenzi, iyinso ndi mtedza wovuta kusweka. Kufuna kwathu kudziyimira pawokha motsutsana ndi kufuna kwathu kukhala paubwenzi. Pali mzere wochepa thupi, ndipo kokha ndi kuzindikira kozindikira kumene anthu awiri angathe kupanga bwino pakati pa awiriwa.

Malingaliro ochiritsira a maubwenzi samachirikiza, kapena osagogomezera, lingaliro la kudzilamulira. Malingaliro okonda maubwenzi amalimbikitsa kudalirana. Kodi munamvapo za nthano ya "kuphatikiza miyoyo iwiri"? Pamene tikuyesera kuwunikira mgwirizano wa anthu awiri, timakonda kulemekeza "kufanana". Munthu payekha amatayika pamene anthu awiri ayesa kukhala mmodzi.

Codependency mu maubwenzi zimapanga chinyengo cha chitetezo, ndichifukwa chake ambiri a ife mu maubwenzi ochiritsira timawopa lingaliro la kudzilamulira. Kudziyimira pawokha kumapereka ufulu osati kungodziyimira pawokha ndi zinthu zowoneka ngati zosafunika m'moyo komanso kumapereka ufulu wosankha.

Kusankha kukhala kapena kusakhala pachibwenzi. Mofanana ndi makhalidwe onse apamwamba m'moyo, ichinso sichabwino kumamatira. Koma kwa anthu omwe akufunafuna zolinga zapamwamba monga kukwaniritsa zomwe angathe kuchita ndikupangitsa moyo wawo kukhala watanthauzo, mtengo wapamwamba ngati uwu ndi wofunika kwambiri.

Ndikofunika kuzindikira kuti kudziyimira pawokha sikuyenera kuwonedwa ngati njira yochepetsera mgwirizano. Ndipotu, maubwenzi ozindikira amalemekezanso mgwirizano. Zomwe kudziyimira pawokha kumatsutsana ndi lingaliro la kuphatikiza, motero, kutayika kwa umunthu. Kudziyimira pawokha ndikotsutsana ndi kutengerana mosasamala popatsa mnzake ufulu wosankha zomwe zili zabwino kwa iwo. Zimakupangitsani kudzipereka tsiku ndi tsiku kuti mupereke zabwino zanu paubwenzi wanu osati zochepa.

5. Maubwenzi ozindikira amakhala ndi chikondi

Chikondi ndi chizolowezi. Inde, chikondi ndichonso chisangalalo chimene timamva pamene chirichonse ndi wokondedwa wathu chikuwoneka kuti chikuyenda bwino. Koma, ndi mchitidwe. Chilichonse chomwe timachita kuti tikwaniritse malingalirowa ndi mchitidwe wachikondi.

Mu maubwenzi ozindikira, anthu awiri amatenga njira zingapo kuti alimbikitse ubale wawo kuyambira tsiku loyamba la chibwenzi. Chimodzi mwa izo ndi kulankhulana. Othandizana nawo omwe amachita chikondi chozindikira amachoka m'malo awo otonthoza kuti afunse zinthu zomwe zili zofunika kwa iwo. Amapanganso malo otetezeka omwe aliyense angathe kufotokoza zomwe akufuna popanda kuopa kuweruzidwa kapena kusamvetsetseka kapena 'kuyambitsa sewero losafunika.'

Mchitidwe wina wotere ndi kukhalapo muubwenzi. Maubwenzi satha nthawi zonse chifukwa cha zochitika kapena zovuta. Amathanso kusweka chifukwa cha kusagwirizana ndi kusagwirizana. Kuyeserera kukhalapo kwa mnzanu ndi ubale wanu ndikuyesa kusunga kulumikizana kotero kuti nonse awiri mutha kuthana ndi vuto lililonse limodzi.

Kuyeserera kukhalapo kungatanthauze zinthu zosiyanasiyana pamaubwenzi osiyanasiyana. Koma zimatanthawuza kukhala ndi chidwi komanso kuyika ndalama mu ubalewo. Zingatanthauze kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi yabwino ndi kukhala tcheru ndi kuchitapo kanthu pa nthawi imeneyo. Zingatanthauzenso kumvetsera ndikupatsa wokondedwa wanu zomwe akufunikira panthawi yamavuto.

Kuyamikira ndi njira ina yosonyezera chikondi. Monga anthu, 'kukondera kosayenera' kumabwera mwachibadwa kwa ife. Choncho, kuyamikira kuyenera kuchitidwa mwadala nthawi zonse. Timakonda kugogomezera kwambiri nkhani zomwe tili nazo ndi anzathu ndikunyalanyaza momwe amapangira moyo wathu kukhala wosavuta komanso wokongola. Kuchita mwanzeru kuyamikira kumathandizanso ndi kulimbikitsana bwino. Zomwe zikutanthauza kuti mukayamikiridwa, zimakupangitsani kukhala bwino komanso kuchita zambiri. Chimodzimodzinso kwa mnzanu.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 10 Zowonetsera Kuyamikira Kwa Mwamuna Wanu

Momwe Mungapangire Ubale Wosamala Ndi Wokondedwa Wanu?

Kuti mupange ubale wozindikira, dziperekani kukhala mwadala ndi masomphenya anu ndi zolinga zanu. Umu ndi momwe:

1. Zindikirani masomphenya anu

Ganizirani zomwe mukufuna kapena momwe mumaganizira ubale wanu. Kodi mgwirizano wodzipereka umatanthauza chiyani kwa aliyense wa inu? Kodi mumagawana masomphenya wamba a mfundo zofunika za kukhulupirika m’banja? Kodi moyo wachimwemwe umawoneka bwanji kwa inu, monga munthu payekha komanso theka lathunthu? Bwerani pamodzi kuti mukambirane.

M'mawu, ndi zochita zanu, fotokozerani mnzanuyo kudzipereka kwanu ku mgwirizano woterewu. Muziuzana mmene zimakhalira kwa inu. Pachibwenzi chodziwika bwino, mumayesetsa kuyambira pachiyambi kuti chikhulupiriro chikule.

2. Kambiranani zomwe mumayendera

Zindikirani ndi kukambirana za makhalidwe ofunika kwambiri kwa aliyense wa inu. Kambiranani malingaliro osati nkhani. Zindikirani kaganizidwe ka wina ndi mnzake.

Mwachitsanzo, chimene chili chofunika kwambiri kwa inu mukakhala pa mkangano. Kapena, malingaliro anu ndi otani pa kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi, kodi mwachibadwa ndife okwatira mmodzi? Kapena, cholinga cha maubwenzi ndi chiyani? Kapena chabwino nchiyani, chowonadi chowawa kapena bodza lachifundo? Zokambiranazi sizoyambitsa mikangano koma kudziwa zomwe wina ndi mnzake amakhulupilira.

3. Khazikitsani mfundo zotsogola

Khalani ndi mapangano ndi malamulo oyambira. Kapena chabwino koposa, tiyeni tizitcha mfundo zotsogoza. Kambiranani zomwe sizingakambirane. Izi zingakhale zosiyana pa ubale uliwonse. Iwo akhoza kukhala zinthu monga:

Kukhala ndi malo otetezeka olankhulirana popanda kuopa kukanidwa kapena kukwiya
Kuwonana wina ndi mnzake ndi maso achifundo
Kuvomereza ndi kuyamikiridwa

Khalani omasuka kusintha kapena kuwonjezera pa izi. Mutha kukhala ndi zofanana ndi zosowa za ubale wanu.

Mtima wa nkhani ndi dala. Limenelo ndilo lingaliro lalikulu la maubwenzi ozindikira, pamodzi ndi kuyamikira umwini, kulankhulana momasuka, ndi kulimbikitsa kukula kwa mnzawo aliyense payekha. Chifukwa chake, sitepe iliyonse yomwe mumatenga moganizira bwino pakukula kwa ubale wanu ndi sitepe yakukulitsa mikhalidwe yachidziwitso komanso ubale wozindikira ndi mnzanu.

Kumbukirani, maubwenzi ozindikira si olembedwa. Zomwe zikutanthauza, palibe kukuuzani zomwe muyenera kuchita. Khalani ozindikira, zindikirani. Dziwani zomwe ubale wanu uli ndi njala. Ndipo perekani izo ndi izo basi. Monga Dani ndi Jo, landirani thandizo kuchokera alangizi akatswiri amene angakuthandizeni kuchita zimenezi.

Ibibazo

1. N’cifukwa ciani cikumbumtima n’cofunika kwambili pa cibwenzi?

Chikumbumtima ndi malo amakhalidwe abwino a munthu payekha, amene amakuuzani inu cholakwika ndi chabwino. Ndiko kumva m'matumbo komwe kumakutsogolerani kuchita zabwino moyo wanu wonse. Kulola chikumbumtima chanu kukutsogolerani pamene muli pachibwenzi mosadziwa, kumakupangitsani kuchita zomwe zili zabwino kwambiri paubwenzi wanu.

2. Kodi ndi makhalidwe anayi ati a ubale wabwino?

Ubale wabwino ndi wovuta kufotokoza mwachidule mfundo. Ngati zimakupangitsani kumva bwino za inu nokha, za moyo wanu wamakono ndi chiyembekezo cha tsogolo lanu, uyenera kukhala unansi wabwino. Tikadayenera kuyankha ili, tikadawunikira kulemekezana, kukhulupirirana ndi kukhulupirika, kulumikizana kwakukulu kosalekeza, ndi malo akukula kwa munthu payekha monga zinayi mwazinthu zambiri za maubwenzi abwino ozindikira.

3. Kodi kugwa m'chikondi ndi chidziwitso kapena chikomokere?

Kugwa m'chikondi ndi kusankha kozindikira komanso kuchitapo kanthu. Monga kuyenera kukhalira. Chikondi ndi chizoloŵezi chomwe chimafunika kuchitapo kanthu nthawi zonse kuchokera kumbali yanu kuti chidyetse.

Kuledzera Kwachikondi: Tanthauzo, Zizindikiro ndi Momwe Mungagonjetsere

Njira 7 Zopangira Chibwenzi Pambuyo Pokhala ndi Mwana

Ndani Amuna A Trophy

Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.