Situationship Vs Ubale: Kodi Wina Angatsogolere Wina?

Mawu akuti 'situationship' ndi atsopano m'mawonekedwe a zibwenzi ndipo tanthauzo lake silikudziwikabe. M'malo mwake, chimodzi chokhazikika muzochitika zonse ndichosamveka. Ndiko kusiyanitsa kwakukulu muzochitika ndi ubale - kumveka bwino, kapena kusowa kwake.

Kuti timvetse zambiri za momwe zinthu zilili komanso ubale ndi kusiyana kwa momwe zinthu zilili, tidalumikizana ndi a psychiatrist waku California ndi Cognitive Behavior Therapist, Dr. Shefali Batra (MD in psychiatry), yemwe amagwira ntchito yopereka upangiri wa kupatukana ndi kusudzulana, kutha kwa chibwenzi ndi chibwenzi, komanso zovuta zofananira musanalowe m'banja.

Kodi Situationship Ndi Chiyani?

Mkhalidwe ndi dongosolo lopanda tanthauzo lililonse. Mutha kucheza ndi okondedwa wanu, ngakhale kukhala pachibwenzi, koma palibe chizindikiro choperekedwa ku mgwirizanowu. Zikuwonekeratu kuti muli oposa abwenzi, koma ndiwe chibwenzi/chibwezi? Ngati izi zikuwoneka ngati funso lovuta ndiye kuti mutha kukhala mumkhalidwe, osati ubale. 

izi Reddit wosuta adayankha mwangwiro yankho la "Kodi vuto ndi chiyani?". “Zimenezi ndi nkhani yachibwenzi imene munthu mmodzi kapena onse aŵiri amangowononga nthawi mpaka atapeza china chabwino.

Mkhalidwe umakhala wosokoneza kwambiri pakati pa 'mabwenzi okha' ndi 'paubwenzi wodzipereka."

– Dr. Shefali Batra, psychiatrist

Komano mungadziwe bwanji ngati muli mumkhalidwe? Nazi zina mwazizindikiro za vuto monga momwe Dr. Batra ananenera:

• Inu nthawizonse "kucheza" m'malo kupita kwenikweni chikondi madeti
• Kukambitsirana za “tsogolo” kumapangitsa mmodzi wa inu kapena nonse kukhala thukuta ndipo mutuwo umapewedwa ndi zododometsa zadzidzidzi monga, “Tawonani, galu wokongola!” kapena “Tiyeni tiyitanitsa nachos!”
• Pali kusowa kwenikweni kwa zilembo ndi mawu ngati "chibwenzi" kapena "bwenzi" ndi zonyansa
• Kuyankhulana kwanu sikogwirizana, ndi malemba omwe amatsitsimutsa ma emojis ndi chete - mphindi imodzi ikuyenda ngati ndakatulo ndipo yotsatira ikutha ngati foni yanu yagwera mu dzenje lakuda.
• Mgwirizano wanu ndi wodzaza zizindikiro zosakanikirana - tsiku lina onse ali mkati, tsiku lotsatira iwo ali MIA, kukusiyani inu mukumverera ngati mukusewera masewera chidziwitso kudziwa tanthauzo lazizindikiro zonse

Kuwerenga Kofananira: Zizindikiro 15 Zodzipereka-Phobe Amakukondani

Ngati zizindikirozi zikumveka zodziwika bwino, mwina muli m'mavuto, osati pachibwenzi. Koma musade nkhawa, simuli nokha. Zokumana nazo ndizofala kwambiri pazibwenzi zamakono ndipo sizoyipa ngati muli bwino ndi kusamvetsetsana ndikungofuna kusangalala ndi nthawiyo. Zochitika zitha kukhala zosokoneza, koma Hei, sizotopetsa! 

Komabe, ngati mukuyang'ana a ubale weniweni, musataye nthawi yambiri musanayambe kukhala ndi nkhani yakuti “Ndife chiyani?” kukambirana kuti zolinga zanu zimveke bwino ndi kuthetsa zinthu ngati zolinga zawo sizikugwirizana ndi zanu.

Kodi Ubale Ndi Chiyani?

Ubale, m’mawonekedwe ake osavuta, ndi kugwirizana pakati pa anthu aŵiri ozikidwa pa chikondi, kudzipereka, ndi zokumana nazo. Sizinangokhala masiku angapo kapena njira yabwino yokhala ndi bwenzi la Netflix - ndi malo omwe anthu awiri amayendera zokwera, zotsika, ndi "kodi titengenso?" mphindi pamodzi. 

Koma kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati muli paubwenzi weniweni ndipo simunangokhala m'mawu ena apamwamba? Nawa ena zizindikiro za ubale mutha kuyang'ana, monga adanenera Dr. Batra:

• Mumayamba kudziwana pamtima zochita za wina ndi mnzake—monga momwe amafunira khofi nthawi ya 8:07 am kapena momwe amadumpha chakudya cham'mawa chifukwa amachedwa.
• Mumayamba kugwiritsa ntchito mawu akuti 'ife' osazindikira - "Tiyenera kuyesa malo atsopano a sushi," kapena "Timadana ndi chinanazi pa pizza," ngakhale mobisa mulibe nazo vuto.
• Zimangophatikizidwa m'mapulani anu - "Loweruka lanu lisamveke bwino sabata yamawa, tikuyenera kupita ku ukwati wa msuweni wanga" 
• Mavuto awo amakhala mavuto anu—monga pamene mphaka wawo wagunda tsitsi, ndipo mwanjira ina, inu ndi amene mukuchita Googling “chakudya chabwino kwambiri cha mphaka chopewera tsitsi.” 
• Mumasangalala kuchita zinthu zotopetsa limodzi—kugula zinthu, kukonza chipinda kwa nthawi yakhumi ndi iwiri, kapena kukhala chete pamene nonse mukuwerenga mafoni anu. 

Ngati zizindikiro zimenezi zikumveka ngati zozoloŵereka, zikomo, muli pachibwenzi! —kapena, mocheperapo, mukukana zimenezo.

Mkhalidwe Vs Ubale: 8 Kusiyanitsa Kwakukulu

Monga tafotokozera kale ndi zizindikiro zomwe tazitchula pamwambapa, mikhalidwe ndi ubale ndizosiyana kwambiri. Ngakhale kuti maubwenzi amakhazikika pakumveka bwino komanso kudzipereka, zochitika zimadzazidwa ndi kusamveka bwino. Kuti tifotokoze zambiri, apa pali kusiyana mwatsatanetsatane pa ubale ndi zochitika:

1. Kudzipereka

Dr. Batra ananena kuti: “Kudzipereka paubwenzi kumatanthauza kuti nonse mumagwirizana kwa nthawi yaitali, pamene mukukumana ndi mavuto, mumangokhalira kukangana.” Ubwenzi umaphatikizapo kudzipereka momveka bwino - zikuwonekeratu kuti okondedwawo akufuna kukhala limodzi pakapita nthawi. Amakambirana zolinga zamtsogolo ndikukhazikitsa zolinga pamodzi. M'malo mwake, muzochitika, kudzipereka kumakhala kovuta ndipo nthawi zambiri kumakhala kosamvetsetseka, zomwe zimakuchititsani kukayikira kumene zinthu zikupita.

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2. Kulankhulana

Kulankhulana mu chiyanjano zili ngati makina opaka mafuta bwino—zonse zimayenda bwino. Mumakambirana zolinga, malingaliro, komanso mtundu wa madzi omwe nonse mumakonda. Muzochitika zinazake, kulankhulana kumakhala ngati kuyesa kuwerenga hieroglyphics. Mauthenga amatha kukhala osamveka bwino kapena odzaza ndi ma emojis omwe amakudabwitsani. 

izi Reddit wosuta adagawana nkhani yake. "Mnyamata yemwe ndidakhala ndi masiku angapo pomwe adakhala miyezi ingapo akunditumizira mameseji, osapanganso dongosolo - ndiye tsiku lina adaganiza kutero, ndipo titakumana, panali zambiri zama chemistry komanso zokopa. Adabwera motentha kwambiri ndikundiuza kuchuluka kwa nthawi yodabwitsa yomwe adakhala nayo, komanso momwe amafunira kundiwonanso moyipa. Koma sanayankhe zonena zanga "ndine mfulu kwa sabata lachitatu" ndikudziwitsani zomwe ndimagwira masana ndi madzulo masana ndi madzulo. ndiye ndinamupempha kuti asiye kulankhula nane.”

“Kulankhulana momveka bwino n’kothandiza kwambiri paubwenzi, pamene vuto limakhala ngati kusamvana kosatha.” - Dr. Shefali Batra (MD mu psychiatry), yemwe amadziwika bwino pa uphungu wa kupatukana ndi kusudzulana, kusudzulana ndi chibwenzi, komanso mavuto ogwirizana asanakwatirane.

3. Kukhalapo kwa social media

Mkhalidwe wina ndi kusiyana kwa ubale ndi kuchuluka kwa chikhalidwe cha anthu. Nthawi zambiri, ubale umawonetsedwa pagulu chikhalidwe TV kudzera:

• Zithunzi zokongola ziwiri
• Zithunzi zopatsana mphatso
• Zokhumba za tsiku lobadwa monga nkhani kapena zolemba
• Zosintha zamasiku
• Kusintha kwa chikhalidwe cha ubale pa facebook, ndi zina. 

Nthawi zina malingaliro awa akhoza kukhala osalunjika ngakhale. Ndinali ndi mnzanga yemwe sankakonda kuyika nkhope yake pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti. Atakhala pachibwenzi, mwadzidzidzi adayamba kutumiza ndakatulo zachikondi ndikugawana zolemba zachikondi pa nkhani zake. Dziwani kuti nthawi zambiri mumafuna kuti otsatira anu adziwe mukakhala pachibwenzi. 

Mkhalidwe, komabe, nthawi zambiri umakhala wobisika, wokhala ndi zochepa kapena osapezeka pazama TV. Mutha kusinthana zokonda kapena ndemanga zosamveka bwino, koma chibwenzicho chimakhalabe chinsinsi chosungidwa bwino.

Kuwerenga Kofananira: Momwe Social Media Imakhudzira Maubwenzi Anu

4. Ndalama zamaganizo

Kugulitsa kwamalingaliro ndikosiyana kwakukulu pa chibwenzi vs situationship. Pachibwenzi, okwatiranawo amapereka chithandizo chamaganizo kwa wina ndi mzake. Amakondwerera limodzi kupambana kwawo, kutonthozana pambuyo pa tsiku lovuta, amakhudzidwa ndi momwe wina alili komanso amasamala za momwe wokondedwa wawo alili. 

Thandizoli nthawi zambiri silipezeka muzochitika. Ndipo zili bwino ngati onse awiri ali bwino ndi dongosololi. Vuto limakhalapo pamene wina akuyembekezera kuti mnzakeyo atengeke maganizo, koma winayo ali bwino pokhala mwachisawawa.

Dr. Batra akufotokoza motere, “Kuthandiza m’maganizo ndi chinthu chofunika kwambiri paubwenzi, pamene mkhalidwe ukhoza kukhala ngati wodzigudubuza wopanda chitetezo.”

5. Moyo wa anthu

Paubwenzi, pakangopita miyezi ingapo, wokondedwa wanu amakudziwitsani kwa abwenzi komanso banja lanu. Amafuna kuti anthu m'miyoyo yawo adziwe za inu ndi mosemphanitsa. Ngakhale wokondana naye pazochitikazo amakonda kukusungani osadziwika. Angauze anzawo za vuto lenilenilo koma angazengereze kuwauza kuti ndinu ndani.

6. Kudzipatula

Kudzipatula ndi chizindikiro chachikulu cha ubale ndi zochitika. M'maubwenzi ambiri achikhalidwe, okwatiranawo amavomereza kuti azikhala okha komanso kuti asawone wina aliyense. Ngakhale kupatulapo ngati polyamorous kapena maubale otseguka, mfundo za kusadzipatula zimakambidwa bwino ndikugwirizana ndi onse awiri. M'malo mwake, anthu omwe ali ndi vuto nthawi zambiri sakhala ndi "kodi ndife tokha?" kulankhula, kusiya zinthu zosokoneza.

Kuwerenga Kofananira: Chibwenzi Chokhachokha: Sikuti Ndi Ubale Wodzipereka

7. Kukonzekera zamtsogolo

Kusiyana kwina pa chibwenzi vs situation ndikukonzekera tsogolo. A maubale okhalitsa zikukhudza kukonzekera mtsogolo - kodi ubalewo ukupita kuti? Kodi chikondi ndi gawo la equation yathu? Kodi timatseguka ku lingaliro lodzakhala ndi ana tsiku lina? Kodi chingachitike n’chiyani ngati mmodzi wa ife atasamuka kukagwira ntchito? Mafunso onsewa amakambidwa pa nthawi yoyenera muubwenzi mosazengereza. 

Komano, vuto limakhazikika pa kusamveka bwino. Palibe zokambirana zomwe zimachitika pamitu yayikulu, palibe malire omwe amayikidwa, zolinga sizimamveka bwino - mgwirizanowu umangoyenda basi ndipo simudzadziwa nthawi yomwe kusokonekera kumakuvutitsani.

Kuwerenga Kofananira: Mafunso 25 Ofunika Kufunsa Musanakwatirane Kuti Akhazikitsidwe Za Tsogolo

8. Kuthetsa kusamvana

Dr. Batra anati, “Kuthetsa kusamvana muubwenzi kumakhala kofulumira komanso kogwirizana ndi gulu, pamene vuto likhoza kukuchititsani kukhala wosakhazikika m’mwambi.” Mukakumana ndi kusamvana paubwenzi, nonse mumagwira ntchito limodzi kuti muthane ndi vutoli ndikutuluka mwamphamvu chifukwa cholinga chake ndikukhala limodzi kwa nthawi yayitali. 

Komabe, mkhalidwe ulibe ndalama zamalingaliro zomwe zimafunikira kuti munthu akhwime kuthetsa mikangano. Mwina vutolo limasesedwa pansi pa chiguduli ndipo nonse mumayesa kuti palibe chomwe chachitika, kapena mkanganowo umatha pakutha kwamavuto. 

Kodi Mkhalidwe Ungasinthe Kukhala Ubale?

Mukazindikira kuti muli mumkhalidwe wovuta, funso loyamba lomwe lingadzifunse ndilakuti, "Kodi titha kupita patsogolo kuchoka pamavuto kupita ku ubale?" Zikutheka kuti mutha, koma zizindikilo kuti zisintha kukhala ubale sizingakhale zowongoka ngati ndondomeko ya rom-com. 

Mwachitsanzo, izi Reddit wosuta adagawana nkhani ya momwe vuto lake lidasinthira kukhala ubale. "Tinali ndi madeti odabwitsa tisanayambe 'kucheza', ndipo anali wolunjika komanso wowona mtima pongofuna kumasuka ndikuwona momwe zimakhalira ....Sindinkayang'ananso kalikonse koma ndinazindikira zomwe zingatheke kumayambiriro. Ndinakhalabe ndi chibwenzi chosavuta komanso chosangalatsa. Tsopano tili limodzi ndipo takhumudwa."

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Chikondi Chenicheni Mu Ubale Chimawoneka Motani?

Titamufunsa Dr. Batra za izi, adatifotokozera malangizo otsatirawa kuti athetse vutolo mgwirizano wodzipereka.

• Yambani kuthera nthawi yambiri pamodzi: Osamangokhalira kumacheza mpaka usiku kapena kukumana mwachisawawa. Konzani ndi ulendo wausiku, kapena kunena za tsiku lokhazikika. Nonse mukakhala ndi nthawi yochezerana, muwona ngati izi zili zoyenera kusintha

• Adziwitseni anzanu ndikukumana nawonso: Palibenso kubisala pamithunzi kapena kukhala “munthu ameneyo” amatchulapo nthawi zina. Aitanireni ku zochitika za m’gulu lanu ndipo alimbikitseni kuti nanunso akuitanireni. Ngati aliyense ayamba kuchita nthabwala za momwe banja lanu lilili, ichi ndi chimodzi mwazizindikiro kuti zikhala ubale

• Khalani nazo kukambirana mozama: Kuti musinthe mkhalidwe wanu kukhala paubwenzi, Osangolankhula za mndandanda waposachedwa kwambiri womwe mukudya kapena chakudya chamadzulo. Gawani maloto anu, mantha, ndi zinthu zodabwitsa zomwe mumachita mukakhala nokha. Ngati akadali ndi chidwi atamva kuti mukuimba mu shawa, muli pa chinachake

• Konzekeranitu zinthu: Pewani mapulani amphindi yomaliza kapena "munyamuka?" mauthenga. Yambani kukhazikitsa masiku enieni sabata imodzi kapena ziwiri patsogolo. Akakhala m'bwalo lokonzekera moyo wawo pafupi nanu, mudzadziwa kuti vutoli likukulirakulira

• Yambitsani nkhani yodzipatula: Inde ndizowopsa, koma ngati mukuzimva muwafunse kuti akuwona bwanji izi. Ngati iwo sali mantha ndi m'malo kutsamira mu, inu molunjika kwa ubwenzi udindo

Masitepewa adzakuthandizani kuchoka pavuto kupita ku ubale - kapena kukudziwitsani ngati ili nthawi yoti mupitirire. Mulimonsemo, mwatsala pang'ono kupeza malingaliro!

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Pali kusiyana kwakukulu muzochitika ndi ubale. Ngakhale kuti ubale umakhazikika pa kudzipereka ndi kumveka bwino, mkhalidwe umapangidwa ndi zinthu zosazindikirika. Kusiyana kwina kwakukulu kwa zibwenzi ndi zochitika kumaphatikizapo kuchuluka kwa ndalama zotengera malingaliro, kugawana zomwe mwagwirizana, kukonzekera zam'tsogolo, njira yothetsera kusamvana, ndi zina zotero.

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