Situationship Vs Ubale: Kodi Wina Angatsogolere Wina?

Mawu akuti 'situationship' ndi atsopano m'mawonekedwe a zibwenzi ndipo tanthauzo lake silikudziwikabe. M'malo mwake, chimodzi chokhazikika muzochitika zonse ndichosamveka. Ndiko kusiyanitsa kwakukulu muzochitika ndi ubale - kumveka bwino, kapena kusowa kwake.

Kuti timvetse bwino kusiyana kwa mkhalidwe ndi ubale ndi momwe zinthu zilili, tinalankhula ndi dokotala wa matenda amisala ku California komanso katswiri wa zamaganizo, Dr. Shefali Batra (MD mu matenda amisala), yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu wokhudza kulekana ndi kusudzulana, kusudzulana ndi chibwenzi, komanso nkhani zokhudzana ndi kuyanjana kwa anthu asanakwatirane.

Kodi Situationship Ndi Chiyani?

Nkhani ndi mgwirizano wopanda tanthauzo lomveka bwino. Mutha kukhala ndi mnzanu, ngakhale kuyamba chibwenzi, koma palibe dzina loti mgwirizanowu ukhalepo. N'zoonekeratu kuti ndinu oposa mabwenzi , koma kodi ndinu chibwenzi/chibwenzi? Ngati izi zikuwoneka ngati funso lovuta ndiye kuti mwina muli mu vuto linalake, osati pachibwenzi.

Wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit uyu adafotokoza bwino yankho la "Kodi vuto ndi chiyani?". "Ndi mgwirizano wamba wa chibwenzi pomwe munthu m'modzi kapena onse awiri amangowononga nthawi mpaka atapeza china chake chabwino. Nthawi zina m'modzi wa iwo sadziwa kuti ndi choncho."

Mkhalidwe umakhala wosokoneza kwambiri pakati pa 'mabwenzi okha' ndi 'paubwenzi wodzipereka."

– Dr. Shefali Batra, psychiatrist

Komano mungadziwe bwanji ngati muli mumkhalidwe? Nazi zina mwazizindikiro za vuto monga momwe Dr. Batra ananenera:

• Inu nthawizonse "kucheza" m'malo kupita kwenikweni chikondi madeti
• Kukambitsirana za “tsogolo” kumapangitsa mmodzi wa inu kapena nonse kukhala thukuta ndipo mutuwo umapewedwa ndi zododometsa zadzidzidzi monga, “Tawonani, galu wokongola!” kapena “Tiyeni tiyitanitsa nachos!”
• Pali kusowa kwenikweni kwa zilembo ndi mawu ngati "chibwenzi" kapena "bwenzi" ndi zonyansa
• Kuyankhulana kwanu sikogwirizana, ndi malemba omwe amatsitsimutsa ma emojis ndi chete - mphindi imodzi ikuyenda ngati ndakatulo ndipo yotsatira ikutha ngati foni yanu yagwera mu dzenje lakuda.
• Mgwirizano wanu ndi wodzaza zizindikiro zosakanikirana - tsiku lina onse ali mkati, tsiku lotsatira iwo ali MIA, kukusiyani inu mukumverera ngati mukusewera masewera chidziwitso kudziwa tanthauzo lazizindikiro zonse

Kuwerenga Kofanana : Zizindikiro 15 Zosonyeza Kudzipereka - Phobe Amakukondani

Ngati zizindikirozi zikumveka zodziwika bwino, mwina muli m'mavuto, osati pachibwenzi. Koma musade nkhawa, simuli nokha. Zokumana nazo ndizofala kwambiri pazibwenzi zamakono ndipo sizoyipa ngati muli bwino ndi kusamvetsetsana ndikungofuna kusangalala ndi nthawiyo. Zochitika zitha kukhala zosokoneza, koma Hei, sizotopetsa! 

Komabe, ngati mukufuna chibwenzi chenicheni , musataye nthawi yambiri musanayambe kukambirana kuti “Kodi ndife chiyani?” kuti mumveke bwino zolinga zanu ndikuthetsa zinthu ngati zolinga zawo sizikugwirizana ndi zanu.

Kodi Ubale Ndi Chiyani?

Ubale, m’mawonekedwe ake osavuta, ndi kugwirizana pakati pa anthu aŵiri ozikidwa pa chikondi, kudzipereka, ndi zokumana nazo. Sizinangokhala masiku angapo kapena njira yabwino yokhala ndi bwenzi la Netflix - ndi malo omwe anthu awiri amayendera zokwera, zotsika, ndi "kodi titengenso?" mphindi pamodzi. 

Koma mungadziwe bwanji ngati muli pachibwenzi chenicheni ndipo simunangokhala ndi mawu enaake osangalatsa okhudza chibwenzi? Nazi zizindikiro zina za ubale zomwe mungayang'ane, monga momwe Dr. Batra adanenera:

• Mumayamba kudziwana pamtima zochita za wina ndi mnzake—monga momwe amafunira khofi nthawi ya 8:07 am kapena momwe amadumpha chakudya cham'mawa chifukwa amachedwa.
• Mumayamba kugwiritsa ntchito mawu akuti 'ife' osazindikira - "Tiyenera kuyesa malo atsopano a sushi," kapena "Timadana ndi chinanazi pa pizza," ngakhale mobisa mulibe nazo vuto.
• Zimangophatikizidwa m'mapulani anu - "Loweruka lanu lisamveke bwino sabata yamawa, tikuyenera kupita ku ukwati wa msuweni wanga" 
• Mavuto awo amakhala mavuto anu—monga pamene mphaka wawo wagunda tsitsi, ndipo mwanjira ina, inu ndi amene mukuchita Googling “chakudya chabwino kwambiri cha mphaka chopewera tsitsi.” 
• Mumasangalala kuchita zinthu zotopetsa limodzi—kugula zinthu, kukonza chipinda kwa nthawi yakhumi ndi iwiri, kapena kukhala chete pamene nonse mukuwerenga mafoni anu. 

Ngati zizindikiro zimenezi zikumveka ngati zozoloŵereka, zikomo, muli pachibwenzi! —kapena, mocheperapo, mukukana zimenezo.

Mkhalidwe Vs Ubale: 8 Kusiyanitsa Kwakukulu

Monga tafotokozera kale ndi zizindikiro zomwe tazitchula pamwambapa, mikhalidwe ndi ubale ndizosiyana kwambiri. Ngakhale kuti maubwenzi amakhazikika pakumveka bwino komanso kudzipereka, zochitika zimadzazidwa ndi kusamveka bwino. Kuti tifotokoze zambiri, apa pali kusiyana mwatsatanetsatane pa ubale ndi zochitika:

1. Kudzipereka

Dr. Batra ananena kuti: “Kudzipereka paubwenzi kumatanthauza kuti nonse mumagwirizana kwa nthawi yaitali, pamene mukukumana ndi mavuto, mumangokhalira kukangana.” Ubwenzi umaphatikizapo kudzipereka momveka bwino - zikuwonekeratu kuti okondedwawo akufuna kukhala limodzi pakapita nthawi. Amakambirana zolinga zamtsogolo ndikukhazikitsa zolinga pamodzi. M'malo mwake, muzochitika, kudzipereka kumakhala kovuta ndipo nthawi zambiri kumakhala kosamvetsetseka, zomwe zimakuchititsani kukayikira kumene zinthu zikupita.

Kuwerenga Kofanana : Malangizo 12 Othana ndi Mavuto Okhudzana ndi Kudzipereka

2. Kulankhulana

Kulankhulana muubwenzi kuli ngati makina odzazidwa bwino—zonse zimayenda bwino. Mumakambirana mapulani, malingaliro, komanso mtundu wa madzi omwe nonse mumakonda. Mukakhala ndi vuto, kulankhulana kuli ngati kuyesa kuwerenga zilembo za hieroglyphics. Mauthenga angakhale obisika kapena odzaza ndi ma emoji omwe amakupangitsani kudabwa.

Wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit uyu adagawana nkhani yake ya momwe zinthu zilili. "Mnyamata wina amene ndinapita naye ku ma deti angapo anakhala miyezi yambiri akunditumizira mameseji, osapangana - kenako tsiku lina ndinaganiza zoti nditero, ndipo titakumana, panali zinthu zambiri zokopa anthu. Anabwera wotentha kwambiri ndipo anandiuza nthawi yosangalatsa yomwe anakhala nayo, komanso momwe amafunira kundionanso. Koma sanayankhe pempho langa lakuti "ndili womasuka Lachitatu ndi Lachinayi usiku sabata ino, mundidziwitse zomwe zikukuyenderani bwino" kwa milungu itatu kotero ndinamupempha kuti asiye kundilankhula."

“Kulankhulana momveka bwino n’kothandiza kwambiri paubwenzi, pamene vuto limakhala ngati kusamvana kosatha.” - Dr. Shefali Batra (MD mu psychiatry), yemwe amadziwika bwino pa uphungu wa kupatukana ndi kusudzulana, kusudzulana ndi chibwenzi, komanso mavuto ogwirizana asanakwatirane.

3. Kukhalapo kwa social media

Kusiyana kwina pakati pa zochitika ndi ubale ndi kuchuluka kwa anthu omwe ali pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti. Nthawi zambiri, ubale umawonetsedwa poyera pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti kudzera mu:

• Zithunzi zokongola ziwiri
• Zithunzi zopatsana mphatso
• Zokhumba za tsiku lobadwa monga nkhani kapena zolemba
• Zosintha zamasiku
• Kusintha kwa chikhalidwe cha ubale pa facebook, ndi zina. 

Nthawi zina malangizo amenewa angakhale osalunjika. Ndinali ndi mnzanga amene sankakonda kulemba nkhope yake pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti. Atalowa pachibwenzi, mwadzidzidzi anayamba kulemba ndakatulo zachikondi ndikugawana zolemba zachikondi pa nkhani zake. Mfundo ndi yakuti nthawi zambiri mumafuna kuti otsatira anu adziwe nthawi yomwe muli pachibwenzi.

Mkhalidwe, komabe, nthawi zambiri umakhala wobisika, wokhala ndi zochepa kapena osapezeka pazama TV. Mutha kusinthana zokonda kapena ndemanga zosamveka bwino, koma chibwenzicho chimakhalabe chinsinsi chosungidwa bwino.

Kuwerenga Kofanana : Momwe Ma Social Media Amakhudzira Ubale Wanu

4. Ndalama zamaganizo

Kugulitsa kwamalingaliro ndikosiyana kwakukulu pa chibwenzi vs situationship. Pachibwenzi, okwatiranawo amapereka chithandizo chamaganizo kwa wina ndi mzake. Amakondwerera limodzi kupambana kwawo, kutonthozana pambuyo pa tsiku lovuta, amakhudzidwa ndi momwe wina alili komanso amasamala za momwe wokondedwa wawo alili. 

Thandizoli nthawi zambiri silipezeka muzochitika. Ndipo zili bwino ngati onse awiri ali bwino ndi dongosololi. Vuto limakhalapo pamene wina akuyembekezera kuti mnzakeyo atengeke maganizo, koma winayo ali bwino pokhala mwachisawawa.

Dr. Batra akufotokoza motere, “Kuthandiza m’maganizo ndi chinthu chofunika kwambiri paubwenzi, pamene mkhalidwe ukhoza kukhala ngati wodzigudubuza wopanda chitetezo.”

5. Moyo wa anthu

Paubwenzi, pakangopita miyezi ingapo, wokondedwa wanu amakudziwitsani kwa abwenzi komanso banja lanu. Amafuna kuti anthu m'miyoyo yawo adziwe za inu ndi mosemphanitsa. Ngakhale wokondana naye pazochitikazo amakonda kukusungani osadziwika. Angauze anzawo za vuto lenilenilo koma angazengereze kuwauza kuti ndinu ndani.

6. Kudzipatula

Kupatula ndi chizindikiro chachikulu cha ubale poyerekeza ndi momwe zinthu zilili. Mu maubwenzi ambiri achikhalidwe, okwatirana amavomereza kukhala okhaokha osawona wina aliyense. Ngakhale kupatulapo monga maubwenzi achikondi kapena otseguka , mfundo za kusapatula zimakambidwa bwino ndikuvomerezedwa ndi okwatirana onse awiri. M'malo mwake, anthu omwe ali ndi vuto nthawi zambiri sakhala ndi nkhani yakuti "kodi ndife apadera?", zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zinthu zisokonezeke.

Kuwerenga Kofanana : Chibwenzi Chapadera: Sichoncho Ponena za Ubale Wodzipereka

7. Kukonzekera zamtsogolo

Kusiyana kwina pakati pa chibwenzi ndi momwe zinthu zilili ndi kukonzekera mtsogolo. Ubwenzi wa nthawi yayitali umaphatikizapo kukonzekera mtsogolo - kodi ubalewo ukupita kuti? Kodi ukwati ndi gawo la njira yathu? Kodi tili otseguka ku lingaliro lokhala ndi ana tsiku lina? Nanga chimachitika ndi chiyani ngati mmodzi wa ife akuyenera kusamuka kukagwira ntchito? Mafunso onsewa amakambidwa nthawi yoyenera muubwenzi popanda kukayikira.

Komano, vuto limakhazikika pa kusamveka bwino. Palibe zokambirana zomwe zimachitika pamitu yayikulu, palibe malire omwe amayikidwa, zolinga sizimamveka bwino - mgwirizanowu umangoyenda basi ndipo simudzadziwa nthawi yomwe kusokonekera kumakuvutitsani.

Kuwerenga Kofanana : Mafunso 25 Oyenera Kufunsa Musanakwatirane Kuti Mukonzekere Zamtsogolo

8. Kuthetsa kusamvana

Dr. Batra anati, “Kuthetsa kusamvana muubwenzi kumakhala kofulumira komanso kogwirizana ndi gulu, pamene vuto likhoza kukuchititsani kukhala wosakhazikika m’mwambi.” Mukakumana ndi kusamvana paubwenzi, nonse mumagwira ntchito limodzi kuti muthane ndi vutoli ndikutuluka mwamphamvu chifukwa cholinga chake ndikukhala limodzi kwa nthawi yayitali. 

Komabe, vuto limakhala losowa ndalama zokwanira kuti kuthetsa mikangano kukhale kokhwima . Mwina vutolo limachotsedwa ndipo nonse mumadzinamiza kuti palibe chomwe chachitika, kapena mkanganowo umatha ndi kusweka kwa vuto.

Kodi Mkhalidwe Ungasinthe Kukhala Ubale?

Mukazindikira kuti muli mumkhalidwe wovuta, funso loyamba lomwe lingadzifunse ndilakuti, "Kodi titha kupita patsogolo kuchoka pamavuto kupita ku ubale?" Zikutheka kuti mutha, koma zizindikilo kuti zisintha kukhala ubale sizingakhale zowongoka ngati ndondomeko ya rom-com. 

Mwachitsanzo, wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit uyu adafotokoza nkhani ya momwe zinthu zinasinthira kukhala chibwenzi. "Tinakhala ndi maulendo ambiri osangalatsa tisanayambe 'kucheza', ndipo iye anali wowona mtima komanso wofuna kupumula ndikuwona momwe zinthu zikuyendera .... Sindinkafuna chilichonse koma ndinazindikira zomwe zingatheke kuyambira pachiyambi. Komabe, ndinali ndi malingaliro osavuta komanso osangalatsa okhudza chibwenzi. Tsopano tili limodzi ndipo timakondana kwambiri."

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Chikondi Chenicheni Mu Ubwenzi Chimawoneka Bwanji?

Titafunsa Dr. Batra za izi, iye anatilangiza malangizo otsatirawa kuti tiyendetse bwino ubale wathu.

• Yambani kuthera nthawi yambiri pamodzi: Osamangokhalira kumacheza mpaka usiku kapena kukumana mwachisawawa. Konzani ndi ulendo wausiku, kapena kunena za tsiku lokhazikika. Nonse mukakhala ndi nthawi yochezerana, muwona ngati izi zili zoyenera kusintha

• Adziwitseni anzanu ndikukumana nawonso: Palibenso kubisala pamithunzi kapena kukhala “munthu ameneyo” amatchulapo nthawi zina. Aitanireni ku zochitika za m’gulu lanu ndipo alimbikitseni kuti nanunso akuitanireni. Ngati aliyense ayamba kuchita nthabwala za momwe banja lanu lilili, ichi ndi chimodzi mwazizindikiro kuti zikhala ubale

• Khalani nazo kukambirana mozama: Kuti musinthe mkhalidwe wanu kukhala paubwenzi, Osangolankhula za mndandanda waposachedwa kwambiri womwe mukudya kapena chakudya chamadzulo. Gawani maloto anu, mantha, ndi zinthu zodabwitsa zomwe mumachita mukakhala nokha. Ngati akadali ndi chidwi atamva kuti mukuimba mu shawa, muli pa chinachake

• Konzekeranitu zinthu: Pewani mapulani amphindi yomaliza kapena "munyamuka?" mauthenga. Yambani kukhazikitsa masiku enieni sabata imodzi kapena ziwiri patsogolo. Akakhala m'bwalo lokonzekera moyo wawo pafupi nanu, mudzadziwa kuti vutoli likukulirakulira

• Yambitsani nkhani yodzipatula: Inde ndizowopsa, koma ngati mukuzimva muwafunse kuti akuwona bwanji izi. Ngati iwo sali mantha ndi m'malo kutsamira mu, inu molunjika kwa ubwenzi udindo

Masitepewa adzakuthandizani kuchoka pavuto kupita ku ubale - kapena kukudziwitsani ngati ili nthawi yoti mupitirire. Mulimonsemo, mwatsala pang'ono kupeza malingaliro!

Mafunso Ofunsidwa Kawirikawiri

Maganizo Final 

Pali kusiyana kwakukulu muzochitika ndi ubale. Ngakhale kuti ubale umakhazikika pa kudzipereka ndi kumveka bwino, mkhalidwe umapangidwa ndi zinthu zosazindikirika. Kusiyana kwina kwakukulu kwa zibwenzi ndi zochitika kumaphatikizapo kuchuluka kwa ndalama zotengera malingaliro, kugawana zomwe mwagwirizana, kukonzekera zam'tsogolo, njira yothetsera kusamvana, ndi zina zotero.

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