Kodi Chikondi Muukwati N'chofunikadi?

Mtolankhani wa ku America Mignon McLaughlin anati: “Ukwati wachipambano umafunikira kukondana kaŵirikaŵiri, nthaŵi zonse ndi munthu mmodzimodziyo.” Lerolino, timakhulupirira kuti chikondi chachikondi chiyenera kukhala maziko omwe anthu awiri amayala ndondomeko ya moyo wonse wa mgwirizano. Ngati pali chikondi m'banja, zonse ziyenera kuchitika. Koma zinthu sizinali zophweka kwa makolo athu. 

Ngakhale kuti ukwati wakhalapo ngati chinthu chofunika kwambiri pamoyo wa anthu pafupifupi chikhalidwe chilichonse cha padziko lonse m'mbiri yolembedwa, palibe chimodzi mwa izo, mpaka posachedwapa, pamene anthu adakwatirana chifukwa cha chikondi ... Makamaka chikondi chachikondi. Kwa zaka zikwi zambiri, ukwati unali ukuyenda bwino osati chifukwa cha chikondi koma mosasamala kanthu za icho. Chikondi nthawi zonse chimaonedwa kuti n'chosakwanira komanso chofooka chifukwa chokwatira. 

Kuyang'ana mmbuyo paulendo wathu kudzatithandiza kuzindikira momwe tapitira patsogolo. Kaonedwe kathu ka chikondi kasintha kwambiri m'zaka mazana awiri zapitazi. Tiyeni tiyende m'mbiri yonse ndikuyankha funso lofunika kwambiri - kodi chikondi m'banja n'chofunikadi?

Chikondi Ndi Ukwati - Phunziro Lambiri

"Mu 1800, lingaliro la kukwatira chifukwa cha chikondi linali lopusa," anatero Eli Finkel, mlembi wamkulu wa phunziro la ukwati ndi pulofesa wa psychology pa yunivesite ya Northwestern University. “Izi sizikutanthauza kuti anthu sankafuna chikondi m’banja lawo, koma sikuti chinali cholinga cha ukwati.” Zinali zofunika kuti okwatiranawo azidzakwatirana, kapena kuti chikondi chizikula. 

Chikondi sichinali chinthu chachikulu chomwe anthu ankaganizira akamasankha nthawi komanso amene angakwatirane naye. Zinthu zothandiza nthawi zonse zinkaposa malingaliro amkati popanga zisankho. Mwachidule, mwamuna kapena mkazi sanali munthu woyamba amene munthu amamanga naye ubale wamkati . Koma ngati panalibe chikondi m'banja, kodi anthu ankalimbikitsa bwanji ubale wapamtima komanso wofunika?

Kubwereza Mwamsanga: Mbiri Za Chikondi Vs Ukwati

Wachibwenzi kapena mdzakazi adagwira ntchito yogonana komanso yogonana. Nachi mfundo yochititsa chidwi: m’zaka za m’ma 12 ndi 13, akuluakulu a ku Ulaya ankaona kuti anthu amene sali m’banja ndi okondana kwambiri, osadetsedwa ndi zinthu zenizeni za tsiku ndi tsiku. Kumene kunali kusowa kwa tsiku ndi tsiku, chikondi sichikanatha! Mnzake wa munthu (kunja kwa ukwati) anali kuthaŵa zizolowezi za tsiku ndi tsiku ndi mavuto.

Kale ku India, kugwa m'chikondi musanayambe ukwati kunkaonedwa ngati chinthu chosokoneza komanso chosagwirizana ndi anthu. Ukwati unali mgwirizano , mgwirizano, komanso mgwirizano womwe sunakhazikike pa chikondi. Ndipo chikhulupiriro ichi sichinali cha ku India kokha. M'zilankhulo zina za Chitchaina, mawu akuti chikondi sankagwiritsidwa ntchito kawirikawiri polankhula za malingaliro pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi: ankagwiritsidwa ntchito pofotokoza ubale wosaloledwa, wosavomerezeka ndi anthu.

Onse, Agiriki akale ndi Azungu akale ankaganiza kuti matenda achikondi ndi mtundu wa misala; kuti kunali kosayenera kukonda mwamuna kapena mkazi wake monyanyira. Abale athu akale anagwirizana kwambiri za kusagwirizana pakati pa chikondi ndi ukwati. Koma zimenezi zimabweretsa funso lofunika kwambiri. Kodi vuto la maukwati okondana linali chiyani? 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Ubwino 7 wa Ukwati wa Chikondi Kuposa Ukwati Wokonzedwa

Koma Vuto Ndi Chiyani Pakukonda Mkazi Wanu?

Chikondi ndi ukwati poyamba zinkaonedwa kuti n’zosagwirizana pazifukwa zilizonse. Ngati tinganene mwachidule, palibe chikondi muukwati chomwe chinali kubetcherana kotetezeka kwambiri. Ichi ndichifukwa chake akale athu adawona kuti chikondi m'banja sichabwino…

Chifukwa vs Zomverera

Ukwati unafuna mutu wodekha pamapewa aŵiri kugwira ntchito mogwirizana. Zinafunikira kuyang'anira ndi kusinthira ku gulu lina la ndondomeko ndi zofunika kwambiri, tsiku ndi tsiku, ndi chaka ndi chaka mu ntchito ya Herculean. Okwatirana anagawira iwo eni eni kapena zomwe zinali pakati pawo m'mbali yaying'ono. 

Kumbali ina, chikondi chochokera pansi pamtima chinafuna kukhudzidwa kwambiri ndi maganizo, kupempha aŵiri okhudzidwawo kuti aziika patsogolo. Ndipo mwa chikhalidwe chake, chikondi chinali mkuntho wowononga maganizo, wosakhalitsa komanso wosavuta kuzimiririka. Pamene kuwala kwabwino kwa chikhumboko kudzachepa, kodi okwatiranawo akanatani? 

Chifukwa tikudziwa, ngakhale masiku ano, kuti chikondi sichikwanira kuti banja likhale losangalala. Pali makhalidwe ena ambiri omwe amapangitsa kuti banja likhale lopambana . Ulemu, chithandizo, kudalirana, kulankhulana, ndi kuvomerezana ndizofunikira kwambiri (ngati si choncho). Kuyika chikondi m'banjamo kunaika pachiwopsezo kulimba kwa bungweli. Kutengeka ndi zomwe mtima ukufuna kunali koletsedwa.

Kukhazikika vs Kukhazikika - Chifukwa chiyani maukwati okondana anali osayenera

Kutsimikizika ndi chitetezo chomwe ukwati umafuna zinali zosiyana ndi chinsinsi ndi zosangalatsa zomwe chikondi chachikondi chinkakula. Pamene ukwati unkafuna nzeru, nzeru ndi dongosolo, chikondi chachikondi ndi champhamvu chinkakhala ndi chisokonezo, kupondereza, ndi chisokonezo. Ukwati unkafuna kudzipereka ndi maudindo; chikondi champhamvu chinkaona chilichonse chomwe sichinachokere pakati pake ngati chosayenerera kutsatiridwa.

Ngakhale kuti ukwati unkafuna chisungiko ndi bata, chikondi chaubale chimafunikira ngozi ndi moyo pachimake. Kungochita zinthu mwachisawawa kunali kulimbikitsa chilakolako. Motero, 'kukwatirana' kunkaoneka ngati zosatheka. Chakumapeto kwa zaka za m’ma 18, wafilosofi wina wa ku France, dzina lake Montaigne, analemba kuti: “Mwamuna aliyense amene ankakonda kwambiri mkazi wake anali munthu wachabechabe moti palibe amene akanamukonda. 

The Countess of Champagne anafotokozanso maganizo omwewo pamene analemba kuti, “Chikondi sichikhoza kusonyeza mphamvu zake pakati pa anthu aŵiri okwatirana.” Zikhulupiriro zimenezi zimaoneka zachilendo kwa ife amene timaika zachikondi pamwambo. Yakwana nthawi yoti tibwererenso kumasiku ano ndikumvetsetsa chifukwa chake sitiganiza za chikondi ndi ukwati ngati zotsutsana. N’cifukwa ciani cikondi n’kofunika kwa ife?

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Mfundo 6 Zomwe Zimafotokoza Cholinga cha Ukwati

N'chifukwa Chiyani Timayamikira Chikondi Muukwati Masiku Ano?

Ngati makolo athu akadadziwa momwe timachitira maubwenzi athu, akanadabwa kwambiri. Tathetsa bwino kusiyana kwa chikondi ndi ukwati. Masiku ano, chikondi m'banja ndi khalidwe lofunika kwambiri lomwe limakondedwa. Tikudziwa kuti chikondi chimakhudza zambiri kuposa kungosonyeza chikondi; chimagwirizanitsidwa kwambiri ndi maziko a kudzipereka muukwati.

Zinthu sizingagawike m'zipinda zopanda madzi muubwenzi. Ndi lamulo losavuta kwenikweni - chilichonse chimakhudza chilichonse. Kuti timvetse bwino zimenezi, tandandalika zifukwa zingapo zimene zimafotokoza kufunika kwa chikondi. Amayankha funso lakuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani chikondi chili chofunika m’banja?

1. Kuyamikira 

Chikondi ndi mawu abwino osonyeza kuyamikira. Chizindikiro chomwe chimati, “Ndimayamikira chilichonse chimene mumandichitira. Iyi ndi njira yanga yosonyezera kufunika kwanu m'moyo wanga.” Ngakhale zizindikiro zachikondi zosazolowereka monga kuphika chakudya cham'mawa zimathandiza kwambiri kuti mnzanu azimva kuti akukondedwa. Kuyamikira ndiye maziko a ubale wabwino.

2. Kukhudzidwa 

Pamene chikondi ndi ukwati zisakanizika, okwatirana amamvana. Kuyesetsa mwachidwi zofuna zachikondi ndi zabwino kwa banja. Mumaphunzirabe zinthu zatsopano zokhudza mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndipo zimenezi zimathandiza kuti ubwenziwo ukhale wabwino. Ichi ndichifukwa chake timayesetsa "kusunga moto wamoyo" mu kulumikizana kwanthawi yayitali.

3. Kudalira 

Chikhulupiriro chimayamba chifukwa cha chikondi m’banja. Kusonyeza chikondi kumapangitsa mnzanuyo kumva kuti ali wotetezeka pachibwenzi. Amachita ngati nangula, kulimbitsa mgwirizano pakati pa anthu aŵiri okhudzidwawo. Tikudziwa zomwe makolo athu sanachite - zinthu zomwe zikuwoneka ngati zazing'ono zimakhudza kwambiri momwe banjali likuyendera.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Mfundo 6 Zomwe Zimafotokoza Cholinga cha Ukwati

4. Kulankhulana 

Chikondi cha m'banja chimatsimikizira njira zabwino zolankhulirana. Pamene makambirano ali odzaza ndi chifundo ndi kukoma mtima, kukhululukirana kumakhala kosavuta. Nthawi iliyonse pamene awiriwa asagwirizana, amayesetsa kuthetsa mikangano mwamtendere , osati kupsetsana mtima kapena kupsa mtima. Nkhondo ya kudzikuza siichitika kawirikawiri pamene pali chikondi m'banja.

Kodi mukumvetsa chifukwa chake kawonedwe kathu ka ukwati kasintha kwambiri? Ngati mulibe chikondi m'banja, sipadzakhala kuyamikira, kukhulupirirana, kutengapo mbali, kapena kulankhulana. Njira zakale zinkagwira ntchito kwa makolo athu koma sizigwirizana ndi mabwalo amasiku ano a chibwenzi ndi ukwati. 

Ibibazo

Maganizo Final

Chikondi muukwati sichimangokhudza chakudya chamadzulo choyatsidwa ndi makandulo kapena kuchita zinthu zazikulu—koma chimakhudza kusunga chikondicho. Chimalimbitsa mgwirizano, chimalimbitsa ubale, komanso chimawonjezera chimwemwe muukwati. Ngakhale maudindo a moyo nthawi zina amatha kuphimba chikondi, kuchiika patsogolo kungabwezeretse chilakolako ndikubweretsa maanja pafupi. Alangizi athu a ubale ali pano kuti akutsogolereni kuti mulumikizanenso ndi mnzanu ndikuyambiranso chisangalalo cha chikondi.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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